In school I was always asked “are u gay?”. I’m not but I have low testosterone so puberty hasn’t changed me much, so I still have a higher pitched voice. Though I was supposed to get a testosterone shot for that reason, before I was supposed to but corona happened. Though I don’t mind if you’re gay or not.
They think hes gay because he is fem. Imagine a femboy transitioning into a women he may have some fem mannerisms but depending on when he decided to be a femboy he'll have mannerisms and ways of thinking that are very male. Because gender is not just a social construct but is also biological
I have been on T for 17 years. I can't even remember what is what like to live as female. Eventually, you forget that you are trans. You're just a guy.
@@SamSwitz omg yes. Your eyes are so amazing🔘🔘! Im jealous 😭😭😭. But im usually attracted to guys with blue eyes so yeah I was captivated during the whole video 😆
@@SamSwitz this is a great video and it shows a side that no one talks about. I love it! Another thing tho that may help in your bathroom endeavors is the "shewee" I know it sounds ridiculous but it helps alot for a wtm transition. They are really cheap too. Not sure if you have ever explored that option and if not, you should give it a try! Much love and thanks for amazing content!
As a man among men you are expected to: 1. Be stoic (get straight to the point, jump over small talk, don't complain about small stuff - just get on with it, control your emotions) 2. Be independent (don't rely on others opinions too much, handle mostly every problem in daily life on your own, don't lean on others) 3. Be strong minded (may be a superfluous point covered by the other ones) 4. Present your thoughts and ideas with conviction (have a clear picture/conclusion of what you think, neither women or other men respect a man that goes around unsure about where he stands) 5. Don't bother others with your problems unless necessary (like talking about hard emotions or help with something you could manage yourself) 6. Make seemingly harsh jabs at each other and take it with no fuss, it's part of the deal (the unwritten code, you will learn if it's within bounds or going too far, they are signs of acceptance aka. bro love) 7. Show controlled aggression (a well rounded man that gets looked up to is known to have the capability to be dangerous but only uses it when appropriate) 8. Not doubt or falter to make a difference and help another person in crisis (put the fear aside, be stable and rational) 9. Bring solutions (this element requires a degree of disregard for democratic discussions and such and focuses more on getting things done effectively) 10. Be competitive (hierarchy within the male structures and all that...) 11. Play hard but fair (this is learned from a very young age, and a well developed man knows where his and others limits are, foul play will fast get you rejected) 12. Hold your ground (your limit will be tested by other men perpetually, and if you don't hold your ground it's a free pass to disrespect you/intrude on you in the future) There are certainly many more, but that off the top of my head. Most men have these traits but in different proportions. It's a pretty hard environment but it also brings gratification and comradery (yes you heard right!) when it works as it's supposed to. I will not claim that these things are all necessarily good, but that's just how it is. Especially among men born say around 1990 or older. I think the culture is sort of changing with younger generations, but I'm not so informed about them. I'm a late 80's kid myself. So if you think about the above stuff with respect to what's said in the video: 1. Aggressive as hell when playing soccer: Yes, as said in #10, #11 and #12, they know where the limit is and those limits are finely honed and pushed as far as they can be taken without crossing the line (mistakes will happen when you play with fire) and the competitive context brings that out in full force - also your limits will be tested so if you hold your ground and push back when your line is crossed the end result is a functional system where you will have equal space to be as aggressive back. If you are unaccustomed to it I understand if it's a bit startling. For the initiated it's simply part of the fun. 3. The waiter example: You are expected to not require any extra attention according to #1 and #2 and to know what you want to order straight away according to #4 and #9. The pat on the back is actually a nice gesture as in #6. It means the waiter is broing you up! The "short, impersonal tone" is showing confidence in you knowing what you want and the expectation is an equally sure and short answer back - you're already in the club, so congratulations! 3. Locker room talk: Well, there's always those dudes that talk shit, but not nearly all men are like that. I see it as unsure guys that don't really know where they stand regarding #2 that feel the need to talk shit like that. Seems to be common in the US (?), but I haven't experienced it a lot in Sweden. Culture thing perhaps. You are not required to join. If you are included against your will/asked to share your bit then you can simply lean against #2 and #4 and say "I of course appreciate a nice body, but it feels a bit "high school" to talk butts and racks like that - but please carry on!". 4. Being seen as gay: If you are perceived as lacking in #1 you will be seen as soft and perhaps unsure. Then the gay association is only a step away. Especially if you don't have a particularly large, manly stature. Anyhow... that was a fun little write up. Don't know if it brings anything useful or if it's even true for anyone but me. But it's a perspective at the very least. I think most men would agree to the gist of it.
This is the best comment on the page. You just elucidated everything that I wanted to say but didn’t want to type. The only thing that I would add is something I saw under another vid- dude was working in a nursing home and a WW2 vet told him “you’re the kind of man I’d want next to me in combat”. He told his GF that was the greatest compliment anyone had ever given him and she fully failed to comprehend it. Hundreds of thousands of years of being the warrior/hunter/protector is written in our genetic code. We have an innate sense for whether or not someone can hold the line. And in that light, a firm handshake and a sense of steadfastness behind the eyes are huge and meaningful signifiers.
I’m a cis female but I’m kind of a tomboy and I like to go by men’s rules, instead of female rules. Like that people should be stored at all, because the best to be or grow balls
In my experience, being a man is lonely. I am a cis man but I have studied lots of feminist writings, and over time have trained myself, starting in college, to think as much like a woman as I could manage. I have at times wished to be a woman, but it was never a very strong wish, more like a daydream. I very much like the friendship of women. I am now 68 years of age, and fortunately I am no longer perceived as a threat or competitor by either men or women.
@@gillianomotoso328 Not that much anymore. But I still try to think as a woman might when I want to understand what a woman is talking about or thinking. Fortunately I have been happily married, for 35 years, to a woman I very much enjoy spending time with. And I believe my habits of thinking have been helpful in getting along with her all this time.
Why would you want to think like a woman as much as possible? You know you can be a man and not be an asshole or wanting to fuck everything that walks, without reading any feminist literature, right? Also how are you lonely as a man if men are more often than women able to form deeper bonds with the same sex? There's a reason why the Spartans were so close as men. So what the hell have you been doing to feel so lonely? Are you socially awkward or something?
I hope youve found someone to talk to. You look like a nice guy. I hope one day society changes to stop making all men predictors in the eyes of women. Alot of stress could be alleviated on both sides.
You look like a hot boy most women would stay away from because they think you are a player! You look like a player! Which just means ur very handsome!
Ur very attractive and I can see how a girl may peg you as a player, but after seeing your video, you are such a sweetheart! If you liked guys, I would totally want get to know you romantically 🤗. Keep up the beautiful vids
Socially speaking, I felt like it was much harder to make friends as a guy than a girl. I really didn't like the vibe when being around guys, or the things they said about women... but then if I tried to be friendly with women, they'd see me like a creep giving them unwanted attention. I'm a very anxious and self-conscious person and I thought transitioning would make me feel better, but I became extremely socially anxious and aware of every little thing I did and said that could potentially be taken the wrong way. I noticed the same thing as well, that men just don't really interact with other men. In some cases, while being with my girlfriend, I would be completely dismissed. They'd be all nice and talk to her, while almost turning their back to me. This happened at restaurants, in stores... But on the other hand, they would ignore her if the subject was ''manly'' like cars, computers, would assume I was the one driving... I don't have my license, she has a brand new car, knows about computers, but male employees would complete ignore her even if we were there for something that belonged to her.
Im just learning about the trans experience because my neice is becoming my nephew. But in this area i might be able to help. This guy hit the nail on the head when he says "im not gay im nice". Men are not nice to each other until its earned. We organise ourselves socially in a distinct hierarchy automatically, this practice is learned very young, and if there is contention for position it becomes clear very quickly and that battle is unavoidable, (this is clearly show in 5 and 6 year olds in their first year at school. Ask the boys at the start, who is the strongest? They all say me. Ask at the end of the first year, and they all point to the strongest.) It is this organisng that is the foundation of everything that relates to who is attracted to who. As we get older, the game begins, the hierarchy gets adjusted for kudos, and gets more influential, the girls react to this heirarchy. Even though they cant see it, they feel it, the more beautiful a girl thinks she is, the higher up the ranks she shoots for. Im purposefully only generalising, but this does cover most people, the outliers are always there of course. Reply if you want me to continue
If men are ignoring you and paying more attention to your girlfriend. Then it means they aren't intimidated by your nor respect you. Example, as a man we always speak to the man. We make small chit chat with their partner, but for the most part we just converse with them the man. Why? Because men are "territorial" when it comes to their partner you could say and might take it the wrong way. So out of respect we just speak to them to show them we have no ulterior motives and so things don't get out of hand.
@@cloudyns I mean, I personally detransitioned a while ago so this doesn't apply to me anymore. Being intimidating was not a concern or need for me, and I don't see how just being there isn't enough for them to respect other people. What determines if another man deserves your respect or not, before he even has the chance to say anything? I'm genuinely asking; I'm curious to know, because it's obviously not a mindset I had at that time.
My big brother who is cis and straight feels the same way about locker room talk, it disgusts him. He feels it's disrespectful. I feel the same with females when they sexualize males.
Yeah it works both ways. Both are equally disgusting. Nobody should be spoken of as if their just meat and not a person. But males definitely get shit on for this, bit when women objectify men, it's "female power" and it's "fighting back". 🤷🏽♂️
@@noizW I don't "have" to I just wanted to clarify 'cause of the particular video I'm commenting on. Sometimes when I express something or tell a story I like to be overly detailed lol. Just how I am.
I think I might be trans, so I've been doing a bit of research into it. I've found your videos eye-opening. I rarely see anyone that transitioned past 17, and as a 21-year-old and questioning, hearing you say you started at 19 calms down my anxiety. A lot of people expect everyone to be solid on their gender, sexuality, etc, but I've always questioned how I felt internally about my gender. Anyways, thank you for these videos, thank you so much!!!
Souls, remember this verse: 2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: Which clears out the question(complains) that bible is man written, IT IS NOT. Our sinful nature allows not to write any which were written into the bible. Nor can any man see future, unless GOD has given him visions. Joel 2:28 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: Acts 2:17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: Galatians 3:22 But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe. Galatians 3:8 And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be blessed. (My advice to many souls out there, don´t believe all the diagnoses the "dr" give you. ) - trans - autistic, - having PTSD, Whatever the diagnoses may be. And having male hormones more then needed while begin female and other way around, means not that someone is trans. There been rumours and articles and people jokingly and unjokingly speaking years back that the masons ruin our foods, air, water. There been rumours that masons place hormones into our food which we consume, giving us odd looks and unstable hormone levels, males have more THE E in them and females have more THE T in them. Now, as years have passed, people openly believe and diagnoses themselves and others being “trans”, seems like masons got what they wanted and worked for.
I've always thought the way men nonchalantly speak to men they dont know in public is a form of respect in that they are being "real" with eachother and not putting on that fake polite front that is expected. When some men talk to women they are almost placating to them as you would to a young child. When addressing another man, they show him respect by dropping the act. (I'm a gay female but thats just what it has always seemed like to me)
I know exactly what you mean and I agree. Before my transition, I feel that guys treated me like I was delicate, despite my all male wardrobe. Now that I'm one year on T, I don't experience that anymore
I think it is incredibly eye opening to get to experience society from both sides of the binary perspective of gender in society. We can all empathise and understand what people tell us and how they describe their experience, but to get to actually live it is incredible. Thank you for sharing this!
Aida Explorer It’s even more interesting being non-binary trans, being perceived that way, being perceived as a woman, AND a man. lol. And people treat you very differently depending on which gender they think you are. You’re seen as a butch cis woman? Likely to get sh*t on by most of society. A feminine cis guy? Same thing. Non-binary trans? Even more hatred, because so many people see androgyny as some sort of threat. It’s insane how hateful people can be toward you, based purely on your gender and/or outward appearance
I agree with this. Not to diminish anyone's experience, but I have a tendency to talk to other guys like this...as I'm a surfer (aww damnit I just realized I'm a stereotype). For me I mean it less as disrespectfully casual, and more as a means to grow closer. If I speak to you with "Hello, sir, how can I help you?" then you're a customer and we both expect to keep it that way. If I greet you with, "Sup dude. What'cha want?" then you basically just need to mention one interest we have in common and we're about to be best friends. :)
You are classically handsome, emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, and kind with good with communication skills. Men like you are rare and I realllly believe that those things are going to end up working in your favor. I am pretty sure that you are the man that most women are looking for. You have such an interesting perspective, thank you so much for sharing this. I've never thought about the way that men interacted with other men before, but your experiences make so much sense.
Sabine Mouton there are reasons why women may talk about men a certain way, not necessarily justifications, but reasons that have more to do with the way men have interacted with them than to do with the inherent nature of those women.
I did play Santa Claus once when I was younger. A hot young Santa Claus has probably been in some movie. I enjoy looking like Santa. I often get a reaction from children walking by. They look at me, and are not quite sure how to react. Little children will sometimes hide behind their mothers. I guess it is a bit overwhelming for them to see Santa in the supermarket, with no costume, not doing anything special, just shopping like everyone else.
I’m a gay man, and I grew up around woman like all my life. I know exactly what you are talking about 100%. Especially with how guys talk to you. There are guys out there that don’t act like that, however the majority.... However, I don’t mind people assuming I’m gay...for obvious reasons. Lol
It is really sad the way American men feel they have to act around each other and towards each other. I think they have a deep rooted fear of appearing gay if they are intimate, kind, gentle, etc. I have a group of male friends from Morocco. They are so sweet and loving with each other. That is just the way they were raised and therefore the culture. Their relationships are very close to those you witness with female friendships. I am sorry the male culture here is in such a sad state. Please try to never change who you are Sam. Maybe make some friends that are from other countries? Good luck!!!
Awww I agree with this- I have traveled to other countries and witnessed the same thing! Brothers and father and best friends hugging and cuddling even and so sweet and it’s seen as a normal human thing and a strength. Very eye opening- I agree that America needs to shift to more like that! Thanks so much for sharing👏🏼💙
As a male all my life I can shed light on this phenomenon. 2 things: Many of our fathers were underdeveloped emotionally, Oedipal stunting, to the point they are scared of their Sons & Daughters thus neglecting them (me) with ANY positive touch. 2nd- in all the media: tv, movies, commercials (brainwashing) like Bird Cage or Will & Grace. There was a campaign to introduce gay friendly acceptance across the airwaves and then in academia. So ad 1) and 2) together and you trigger most straight males (80-90% of pop) into an exaggerated Fight or Flight response, cause we want to be accepted, which conflicts with our biological desire for boobies & soft-wet vagina into self doubt, playing on fears of inadequacy, leading to paranoia, frustration, settling, resentment, anger and then rage. We long to cuddle be fraternal, but we repressed it so deep into the shame mud that resurrecting would feel like heading towards self-annihilation. So your advice to make male friends abroad, forgetting/rejecting the entirety of male pop. hear is furthering the anomic breakdown of masculinity, furthering destruction of our Civilization as a Euro-colony. And all we get is: Let’s walk away. As a male, I was taught to loathe, and fear males, embrace all safe things like the Feminine expression: communication, dance, posture, career choices etc. it has been a self-annihilating hell. I imagine many females have been pressured to be masculine, but that seems to be a more acceptable problem that most embrace. Toxic masculinity built by shame, has not been so loved. I hope this helps. We don’t find much sympathy anywhere, except for places society further shames & rejects, such as: (red-Pill, Mgtow, and even Dissident Right groups) All we get is further threats of physical banishment/annihilation after we have already suffered self-shaming annihilation life-long. Being received coldly at restaurant, was a hint of what I have felt as a very masculine 6’3” 200lb. Male. Thank you for your time.
Morocco AKA the country that is one of the most world renown for street harassment of women in the entire world. I guess they don't have to do the locker room talk about women when they can just yell whatever they think about the woman to her on the street. "Whether earned or not, Morocco has a reputation for being one of the most unsafe countries for women traveling alone. Stories of being followed, inappropriately touched, and bombarded with lewd comments circulate all over travel sites and many travelers are nervous to add Morocco to their itinerary for fear of suffering the same harassment." If only American men could be so sweet and loving like Morrocan men...
@@Epimpin101 I agree it's up there but India actually won that dubious honor of having the highest amount of rape per capita. The U.S. talks about toxic masculinity if a guy 'manspreads' but in places like the middle east, toxic masculinity is where killing your wife or daughter is sanctioned by their 'god,' and fully condoned.
You are so right in so many things; I am MTF, as a male, you have to keep the body language to a minimum, otherwise you'll risk to be seen as gay. I went to similar experiences; my friends have always told me I am too cold, it takes a lot of time and willingness. And some of them might never fade, but they are part of you and your personality, If you ask me it's very charming
Ok, so random question. After 3 years of transitioning, I'm still having a hard time minimizing body language. Granted, I was 52 before I started transitiioning, so that's a LONG time to be a woman in this world. But I was always 'butch', so athletic and strong, ect. Its' puzzling me why this is still hard?
@@samjohnson1257 I don't think some of those traits will ever disappear, you'll just make them part of you. I was very feminine ever before transition, and I still have a lot of manners that are strictly male, I consider them part of my personality, I wouldn't worry about slipping from time to time, I don't think your friends even notice
Honestly I think a lot of cis guys would have more “feminine” mannerisms if the world didn’t subconsciously or consciously teach them not to have them. So in MY opinion, if there are traits that just aren’t going away with time and transitioning, that’s who you are! And it’s more normal to have them than to NOT have them due to society’s influences. I like when people have a huge mix personally
BUTTT, if it truly bothers you then just actively work on changing those things and they will eventually. But just get clear FIRST on if you’re changing it because of what society has labeled feminine and masculine and u wanna fit in (we all have that to some degree, no judgement) orrr if u r doing it cuz it just doesn’t feel like u. That’s where I would start and then go from there:)
Its weird how being gay has become synonymous with being nice. I'm gay and not nice because so many things irritate me after being around toxic people for so long
... Another thing with there only being 1 stall in men's washrooms: If that single stall is out of toilet paper, you're out of luck. Whereas in women's washrooms there are multiple stalls so there's always back up!
One thing that's odd (but good) about men's rooms is they usually still have seat covers, which I would have thought would seem too fussy for them. I guess the germaphobe lobby is stronger than the übermasculine lobby. Anyway, the number of times I've used those as backup toilet paper is ridiculous
@@SamSwitz I've never understood the 20-30 minutes in the bathroom thing either. If it takes you that long then you don't really need to shit and you're just gonna end up with hemorrhoids from the unnecessary straining! Lol
People are known for assuming that the grass is greener on the other side but, often, if we get up close and personal with that other side, and take a close look, it’s not what we expected. I wanted to change my physical sex when I was 17, back in 1980. My G.P. was also a family friend, which made the discussion somewhat uncomfortable. But he truly had my best interests at heart and kindly asked me questions that made me reflect on why I had made inquiries into such a profound, irreversible procedure. I’m a heterosexual woman, so it wasn’t to match my body to conform with normative standards of what my sexuality should be. And it wasn’t because I identified as a man, either. I am a tomboy… but I also used to like to glam it up. But I was not then, am not now, nor will I ever be beautiful, or even pretty, by social constructs set as the standards that have been in place during my lifetime; but I can do a whole heap of traditionally female-dominated skills and abilities, much of which has been lost to most women in modern, Westernised cultures… mainly because I can be pretty old-school. I just felt that I couldn’t compete with all the girlie-girls, yet were considered some kind of threat to men, pertaining to traditionally male-oriented skills and abilities. I didn’t really fit in with any group of people, and I still don’t. But I met a man who loved me for exactly who and what I am; that was almost 38 years ago, and we celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a few months back. Expectation rarely aligns with reality. And one thing that many people deny is the distinct difference (generally speaking) between the way that biological men and women think. This is one of the things that (as a woman) shits me about most all other women, i.e. their under-developed analytical thinking. That being said, my left and right sides of my brain are almost in constant battle. But I’ve learned to eke out the best of both hemispheres. I’m just trying to be as authentic as I can be, without causing too much discomfort and/or upset to those who are not so adaptable and versatile. I’m embracing my abilities, intelligence, emotions and intuition, regardless of the package it all comes in. Wishing everyone love, laughter, prosperity, peace and good health 💔
@@Michellok786A man is an adult human male .. A girl is a female child. You seemed sure that you used to be a man no worries its all good you can be a grasshopper if it pleases you .. No one can be who they are not . They can try though that is called effort noun a vigorous or determined attempt The struggle is real 😎😎
Lol most guys aren't building anything of importance nowadays and women's value is going down too yet you guys put too much emphasis on the importance of women and give them a false sense of superiority
Guys take forever to poop because we often don't eat enough veggies. If you live off of steak and potatoes you're gonna have a hard time dropping a deuce
The reason men act detached such as saying “hey dude “ and having no further connection is because they don’t want to show interest in you as a person because they don’t want to be seen as gay.
Honest Feedback kinda... they act detached because its business. They don’t care to be their friend and you don’t care to be theirs. You show respect/they show respect and get to business. You don’t give them problems, they don’t give you problems. Honestly I like the coldness. I’m there for food. Now there is being cold and being an ass. That’s different. But if they are respectful, totally cool.
I like the aloofness, because as a feminine looking gay male (not meaning long hair and makeup but just androgynous features) I've definitely had women experiences in my own way and they were annoying and uncomfortable being pestered and obligated to give a male something in return for doing this or that for me like attention and the constant pressure to feel "ON" at all times for them. I'm an introvert and like being alone so i like being around guys that arent attracted to my energy or looks because they leave me alone. I hear stories if women being stalked and feeling like prey all the time isn't a good feeling. I relate to women a lot it's funny. No I'm not trans but I just don't have the normal male experience.
so basicaly you're just saying that men are nicer to women just in case that will ever lead to them getting laid by those women in the future? Alrighty then I see what ur saying... So men can be fake too huh? Fricking men thinking with their cock yet again! But it's good to know... But yeah I have been getting that feeling about some men that they are subtly flirting with me but not overtly. And my dumbass at first thought they were just being nice but I can see now that it was a bit flirtatious too.
@@zebnemma The vast majority of men aren't like this. I'm nice to people because I'm a good person. I hold the door for everybody, male or female, not because I think I'm ever going to talk to that person again, but because I'm being polite. Definitely pay attention, but don't think that a guy picking up something you dropped for you means that they want in your pants.
Yeah, I have guy friends but I have been married 24 years. When I was in my late teens/twenties I would occasionally get what I would call "The Letter" (back in the day before smart phones when men actually wrote to you) where a guy that I thought I was good friends with was basically making it clear he was no longer happy in the Friend Zone and was struggling with wanting to jump my bones when we were hanging out. At the time, I would feel pretty devastated and sad that I had to end the friendship. Now I think I was being naive. Most guys won't be spending lots of one-on-one time with ANY girl as a friend at that age. They just don't want to invest that kind of time. It's normal for teens and young adults to want to partner up, the most natural thing in the world.
@@beautifulspirit7420 That's honestly just weird. I'd never do this to any of my friends, and I am a teenager. If I'm interested in someone, it's because they're a really good friend. It seems illogical to throw a good friendship away just because they don't want a relationship. Maybe I'm a minority on this, though. I really don't know what most guys would think. I'm just sorry that that happened so often to you that you started expecting it.
@@beautifulspirit7420 can't believe this is still a thing. i'm 26 and have had 3 guys now do this to me (all in the same timeframe, my early 20's when i believed hetero men and women were capable of being friends.) but instead of letters they're sending DMs. does it get any better with age? i wish i could just be friends with guys again
What do women think being a man is like? Do they really think it’s all mixed tennis and cocktail parties? Well don’t tell them otherwise they’ll all want to be us
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves so nothing basically. We don't have time for your victimhood. It's toxic. You only care about your own problems, which you can't even name.
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves Don't try to move the goal post to history. We were talking about today, which you can't name a single thing about. Bye kiddo
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves These high school debate tactics are pathetic. You have zero arguments, zero facts and a lot of delusional ego. Grow up
I'm a cis guy and I can 100% relate to this xD. Perhaps because I was always shorter than other guys and ended up being bullied, I never wanted to take part in their whole male rituals and gravitated towards girls for friendship. But yeah, interactions between guys can be weird as hell. There's always some competition and intimidation going on and then there's me being there like I couldn't give less of a f**k.
This is really a great video. I'm a gay man and lived in San Francisco in the 1980s and 1990s. However, I never had any cramps friends or even contact with trans people. Recently I met the trans man and got to talk to him about his experience. I was surprised because I didn't even realize he was trans. It is obvious that even in the gay community much conversation has yet to occur
It feel SO good to know that you’ve noticed these things as well!!! I am ftm as well and have been on hormones for about 2.5 years. Literally everything you said was just spot on 😂😂 I can definitely relate to the “i’m not gay i’m just nice!” bit
Sam wasn’t socialized as a male. Rather he was raised female and so is in touch with his emotions and aware of himself and has the emotional maturity equivalent of a woman now even though Sam is a man.
Congrats man! I wish you luck and happiness on your journey becoming you! Sending all good vibes your way! Don’t let the negativity from others who don’t know or understand get to you. You have a big support system here! Peace ✌️❤️
@@Pocketdaemon i always find how before i started medically transitioning i was disgustingly jealous of my ftm peers that started to transition it was almost like i wanted them to suffer with me- and it seems like im not the only one. Youll get there buddy!
i would try to have a very long conversation about it. dont mention the sexuality thing at first because that would be confusing, just say i am a boy. then if she is confused about who you like just say i like girls or whatever you like.
You're not going to be a very successful male if you're too scared to tell your mom things. Sounds to me like you are way too young to be thinking about any of this. Why can't you just be a more masculine female? They are some of the most sexy women on the planet? ua-cam.com/video/2V09C98Xt7Q/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/iOW5lkv2kgA/v-deo.html
@@beautifulspirit7420 bruh gender dysphoria is a thing, trans people are trans and masculine women are masculine women, you can't suddenly choose not to be something when you clearly are or might be. Also, fear is a perfectly normal emotion that can be overcome, doesn't set you to a "male failure".
Thank you for this! Since I pass as a male, and sometimes been included into those lockerroom-talks, I wondered if I'm maybe gay because I'm not that obsessed with ass etc. I mean I love women, and also their bodys, but some people talk about them like hunting trophies and it makes me really uncomfortable:/
When you meet a girl who's really aroused by you, that's kind how dirty talk goes as well (with humor and flirting mixed in). Women are aroused by very weird thing. E.g. At least 3 girls have told me they're aroused by sexual assault...first time I heard this, from my first gf, while such scene came up in a movie, i was like "WTF". another ex, the happiest I've ever seen her, was when I drove to visit her, she had an attitude for no apparent reason and was pushing buttons for no reason whatsoever. At some point I lost my cool a bit, grabbed her hand, pulled her to an empty room, trapped her between my arms to ask her "wtf is your problem?". After a minute she suddenly jumped on me and started making out vigorously. After all that, she told me i should be like that more often, and then the walked off with biggest smile I ever saw on her. I've multiple experiences of girls becoming aroused when I lose my patience and tell them to "shut the fck up"..."or what part of shut the fck up don't you understand?" Suddenly I'm looked at like I'm a hamburger...(and then I think to myself, wtf) This one time, I met up with friend who was with a girl and her friend, my friend tried to smear the second girl off onme because she was being a cockblock for him. He was joking about us hooking up, and she tried dismiss that by saying "if I were here's, I wouldn't know how to "please" properly, I had one of those moment's where I spoke before thinking and said "if you were mine, I'd fuck you however I want"...I was thinking "oh shit" as the words left my mouth, there was a silence, so I looked up and she was giving me that hamburger look (biting lip, up and down stare, etc)...later she asked me to walk her to the restroom, and partway there she suddenly grabbed me and started making out very vigorously. The point is, in practice, and not words, women are turned on by weird shit (things they'll rarely admit publicly, like choking them, slapping their ass, and other weird shit)...but only if she already finds you attractive, otherwise you're experienced as just a creep. And if you dont say and do such things, then any arousal she might have had will evaporate, and you'll land in the friendzone (In other words, she likes you as a human, but isn't aroused by you). And arousal and the lack thereof is the only difference between a romantic interaction and a plutonic interaction when it comes to heterosexual female attraction.
@@GPrinceps nah it's in the genes. A boy whose father has a high pitched voice will also surely have a higher voice. Some dudes have a deeper voice some a higher. But yk what i mean
Mtf girl here. You are a beautiful man. I understand the whole thing about being perceived as gay. When I still identified as a guy girls always assume im gay but i was bi. I just had a feminine energy and they took it as gay.
I am a feminine woman and believe me, me and my sister's were taught to be exactly the same as you described men are taught to be. . We had horses and if we had a bad fall😊 there was no one to wipe your tears, you wouldnt dare cry. We were taught women are strong which now i am glad of. We had beautiful dresses and did girlie things but were climbing trees and playing "hide from the Germans too"!
Oh yeah that sort of cold, carelessness among men is very widespread, im a guy and as I’ve tried to open up more socially, (social anxiety etc) it’s become more apparent how incredibly closed off others dudes can be. It’s like we’re all on the edge of hostility and are very cynical, maybe it’s just a Vegas thing though idk .
I think this macho attitude is an American thing . I live in Europe now and I see how European men are way more in touch with their “feminine” side . I’d say half of the stuff they do would be considered gay in the US and being a cis gay man it was quite confusing at the beginning .. like, I would get excited cause a hot guy was “flirting” with me but then it turns out they’re just European 😂
Omg you are so right...I didn’t even think of thattt, hahaha I need to get myself to Europe, how coollll!! 😂👏🏼 did you notice it more in certain parts of Europe? Or just everywhere
Sam Switz I live in Milan but I’ve seen this trend pretty much everywhere ! Men are very physical between each other even though they’re straight and no one gives it a second thought .. honestly it made me realize how hard it is to be a straight man in the US where this fragile masculinity thing makes everybody act so pretentiously macho .. so yeah , come to Europe ! 😂
@@angeninetytwo omg yea that sounds like a DREAMMM hahah. It's people just being people...without some weird expectation or judgement thrown on top of it. Heading there ASAP haha
Which part of Europe? Europe is a very diverse place and it certainly isn't like that here. 😛 At least for the older generation but people my age are mostly not concerned with gender stereotypes.
Hey bro, I’m transitioning to male as well and I love the fact that people off bat call me bro or dude because I am 100 percent sure that I should’ve been a dude from the jump and I’m good with it. People confuse my gender all the time and it doesn’t bother me. I’m excited for my transition anyway. I appreciate your channel too!
Thanks for the video. Cis het guy here, your last line "Im not gay, I'm just nice" really stood out because I agree but also disagree about the idea that nice guy= gay. I think in this case while you present as a man, you retain *some sing-song qualities of talking associated with women and you're also high energy. Men are dead inside and we think in sharp 90 degree angles placed in monochromatic environments - so, even when we're happy, nice and emotionally mature it's all run through a filter that strips away the happiness and overt displays of emotions. Joy is not a part of the communication toolset unfortunately. Thoughts like " I'm so excited to see my friends, omg, look! it's them! I miss them! hey!" become "Hey! how you been?" - and the funny thing is, the person receiving it is also having those over excited emotions going on on in the inside as well. We're just not allowed or expected to be expressive in our emotions - we can talk about them, but we're expected to keep all of that shit on lock. All of the good emotions and all of the bad emotions.
You explain, in this video, that there are quite a bit of traditionally male behavior that you really don't like and don't want to be associated with. And you explain how in some situations, you prefer the way women act, and you tend to act more that way as well. This gets noticed, by men and women, and this is why people assume you are gay. Personally, if i met you, i would have never guessed you are FTM trans, so physically, you sure as hell are passing. But the strong femininity in you (by male standards) would surely make me assume that you are probably gay. Because it's very rare to have a man with a lot of femininity who isn't gay. I have a friend who is like that. I thought for the longest time "is he gay?". Then through conversations, i realized he wasn't. But he told me that gay men come up to him a lot. This didn't prevent him from pursuing women and having girlfriends, so, i trust that you'll manage too.
Women, "What's it like being a man? Must be easy." Men, "It's like nothing." Women, "What do you mean?" Men, "Nobody cares, nobody helps us do anything, nobody is interested in anything we do or say, nobody buys us drinks. If you don't earn your life it's like nothing."
These are my literal fears too as a trans male, now I don't have to worry about being seen as gay cause I'm pan so whatever, but the bathrooms, the way's people treat you differently whether that's family, friends or whatever, other dudes being WAY too aggressive for no particular reason other than the excuse of being "bros" and the way they talk about woman and girls is downright disgusting to me ( not all men. ), people used to gaslight me saying "oh you don't get it cause you're trans/gray-demisexual" and yeah maybe I don't get everything about intimacy but at least I know some basic human respect and boundaries that I don't see a lot of other men have and it's honestly just sad.
I can relate though, to feeling "lost" as it were, as a man relating to other men, and feeling a little like an outsider. I'm a cis-male, but have never been very macho or manly, have never been into sports, never been assertive, didn't even like wrestling when I was young because it made me feel like I was being beat up, and so on. Ive always been very emotionally sensitive and artistic; I never had a father to teach me any of that "guy stuff". So now, I'm 45, and have the look and mannerisms of a regular guy, and guys assume (as they do with you) that they can act towards me like they would any other guy...even though I still feel like the awkward, unmasculine geek that I was in junior high. It's quite discomforting, to say the least. I just try to deal with it, because saying anything I would immediately be pegged as a sissy, and most likely gay (which actually would be the truth, because i AM gay). anyways sorry for this verbose comment. LOL
Trans men feel like gay men because they often retain feminine mannerisms & patterns of thinking. I noticed this with my friend who looks like a man but as soon as we start talking about something passionately, the conversation is 100% feminine feeling, whereas the same conversation with the same energy level with a man, they have different logic patterns and mannerisms. It's hard to verbalize exactly, but there is a deep "way of being" that is different between males and females that is in my experience almost 100% constant across cultures.
@Josie I AM a XY-MAN & YES, JOSIE, YOU NAILED IT. If women will get in the habit of ASKING a BORN-MALE person as WHY we are as we are [instead of knowing both US "&" themselves best -aka female EVE-EGO] then men would get PRACTICE in getting in touch with themselves via having to provide an answer. Femininity & masculinity ARE NOT THE DAME as being in a Male or Female Vessel FOR such essence. & Josie, notice that you will NOT get many "Thumbs Up"....Know Why? Because it is THE TRUTH and NOT the "yep" what "I" always thought variety! Which is nothing more than "validation" of their "personal" Truths. [a function of EGO]..not necessarily THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH is ALWAYS "Culture FREE" ...it Transcends Culture, because "Culture" is Humanity [MAN-MADE], based on EGO & PRIDE while THE TRUTH is = OUR CREATOR Those who HUMBLY seek it WILL FIND IT -- IT will SHOW itself TO YOU!
@haru WELL SAID. haru, I am Homosexual [Bisexual] & a DEVOUT life Long LOVER of THE CHRIST [near 1/2 a Century since boyhood] And & in that time FATHER CREATOR & JESUS HIS CHRIST, has taught me MANY THINGS about my Sexual Orientation [We share with his OTHER creations-like his bonobso Primates]. I has ALWAYS embraced, acepted & was VERY content with my sexuality. In fact, I could never understand what the fuse was all about, among Heteros. It's just sex.sensualness, it NOT the end of the world :). It's just one of many tools to express Love to one another. & I'm Afri-American Bible Belt Raised, where the Culture was VERY much against Homosexuality--I simply IGNORED those people. That said: The MAIN thing YOU said, was the SAME as my HOLY FATHER taught me. But Josie IS right too. You see THE CREATOR gives us HIS essence in varying Quantities. THE CREATOR FATHER [Source of Being] "is" BOTH Masculine Essence "&" Feminine Essence. This operates INSEPENDENTLY of whether HE gave a XY or XX or even other combinations "Thru Which" to EXPRESS that VARYING Proportion of Masculine & Feminine Energy/Essence. SO, ALL Humanity have BOTH essences just at SIDELY VARYING Proportions. I MALE [XY Vessel], may have an ABUNDANCE of MACSULINE Essence [say 98% Masculine / 2% , Feminine] & given him also the hormones to match]. This creation would then tend to grow up a "lumber-jac: Or Boxer or something Highly Masculine only MODIFIED by "how" He grew up & was socialized [Nurture]. The Reverse "Proportions [2% Masculine & 98% Feminine] moderated by Nurture factors may very well yield a "Ballerina" Male [XY] person. And ANY combination in between AND any gender [XY or XX or XXY etc.]. And the MALE [representing THE CREATOR FATHER] is the Parent who determines the gender [If he gives an X [The Child will be "female". If he gives a "Y" the child will be MALE [The 1st NATURE sexperience for the child]. The Mother "modifies" the Hormones in her Womb as the 1st. Nurturing experience for the Child. It is a GOD glorifying Dance that our CREATOR initiates. A Male represents FATHER-CREATOR Source of Being and Various Proprtions of Macsuline ENERY/ESSENCE [depeding on the Individual-NATURE He sends] AND it is MODIFIED by Mother Earthly Environemnt [GOD choses for that Individual -e.g Brith Timing in History & PLACE on the Earth]. This may seem Complex but so is our CREATOR. And WE are created in HIS IMAGE. If people UNDERSTOOD this more, there would be FAR LESS confusion in the word, Far Less gender dysforia & Far less PAIN & Suffering trying to FIT IN with "man's" Black or White version of How People should "BE"-Thier State of "BEING" & behaviors accordingly are Determined by GOD's Decision of how HE wants to be Expressed via that Indiviual--NOT Man's [Self-Traits Idolatrous] Decision. So BOTH You "&" Josie are CORRECT. It is a "NATURE" [as Josie implied] modified only by Environment/NURTURE as YOU implied. But YOU got it MOST correct, becuase YOU included BOTH Nature "&" Nurture as the determinig factors of how one turnes to "BE". And BOTH "Nature" & Nurture are determind by CREATOR HIMSELF--the SOURCE of our "BE"ing. Thus as an Indivual I more Masculine-XY than Feminine-XY Essence. And because of my Faith-Culture & Surrendering to GOD's DIRECT TEACHING because of it, FATHER CREATOR taught me about HIMSELF & HOW HE creates in this matter. Thus I have EMBRACED my Feminine Essence as one who LOVES "BE"ing a MALE, & would NOT have it ANY OTHER WAY. This makes me [& has always done so] my OWN BRAND [GOD's BRAND] or a *MAN* in the Image of GOD. The MAN-made CULTURE/SOCIETY is what causes most Gender-Dysphoria & people wanting to switch genders only to find that they want to "switch" back. Our Blessed CREATOR simply NEVER makes mis-stakes when HE orders a HUMAN-CHILD to be born. Idolatrous Humanity [Who glory in their OWN traits & seek to make OTHER conform to them] MUST REPENT of that That Turned to Self-Traits Idolatry & Learn to ACCEPT GOD's Wisdom in HIS Variety!. Others will be less UNHAPPY with WHO they REALLY ARE "at Birth" if this were to be! As a Bi-amorous/sexual/sensual Male/Man. I say: She [in the Video] turned HER-self into a VERY HANDSOME SEXY "WO-MAN] but she is NOT a *MAN* because she yet has the "WO" [WOMB} "of" MAN. ONLY GOD can order a MAN "or" a WoMAN.
I respect him for not sexualizing and objectifing women. Its about respecting and not wanting to be a creep. Since he has had experience being a women for the majority of his life, he understands how it feels to be sexualized by other straight men, directly or indirectly, he understands the feeling. Anyone who identifies as a women and or is a cis women or is ftm understand this. I have noticed straight men staring at me from a very young age. Its creepy as hell and it is so uncomfortable.
as a trans guy i relate so much. having had the perspective of living my life as a female presenting person though, i realized how much of my daily interactions were with other people honestly men being a bit sexist. the way men talk to girls vs guys is just different especially the waiter situation really reminded me. i grew up in a smaller town so... yeah. it was rough. now after coming out as trans, i'm extra careful in my interactions to not have that toxic masculinity and agressively "friendly" behavior. if you're a trans guy reading this: toxic masculinity is a huge battle for us trans guys because we feel we have to work extra hard to prove our masculinity in society, but don't let that get you down!
@@SamSwitz Just watched your video. I think you have a point that men, especially in western societies should be more friendly to each other, like they are elsewhere in the world... But on the other hand, there's also a reason why they don't really try to get to know you and stuff when they first meet you, the way women do. And it's because it can be awkward if some random guy tries to all of a sudden find out everything about you. It's like you're becoming his dog (for want of a better word) that he wants to get to know. And most people would rather not be treated that way. About the pat on the back thing that they do to you, I can assure you, that doesn't happen to most men at all. I guess it happens to you because of how cute you look. I'm sure everybody that does that to you sees you as a "little brother" kind of figure. So you bring out like a protective instinct in them and they're saying that they got your back.
@@SamSwitz ...or it's because you're like a cute innocent little boy, but one that's not really manned up. So the pat on the back is gonna make you jump (and it does too!). And thats funny because you can't really handle it. So they do it because they're trying to make you get over your little boyish behaviour. You're supposed to be proactively (and visibly) more manly so that a pat doesn't affect you. And if you were visibly more manly, then they wouldn't do stuff like that anymore in the first place. Like I say, they don't do that to regular men, only cute little boys. I mean, they don't even do it to young boys that act masculine already, cos then they'd be afraid of a fist to the face. Those boys have had enough of it when they were young, so they learnt to act differently, like they can handle themselves. ...but with you, it's like you're quite boyish still and you cant handle yourself, and it's kinda obvious that you wouldn't do anything in retaliation either, so they feel comfortable doing that. Lastly, again I agree with you that many western men are too toxic to each and are "only interested in girls". I agree that that's pathetic and they should be more open to each other and make friends easier. That way the world would be a nicer and less lonely place. Some men from other cultures are like that, but then, they're only nice like that to other men within their own culture, so that wouldn't apply to you either cos you're white. And so yeah, that's pathetic too.
I feel like this video gives insight into the socialization of men in our society. I found it pleasant and really interesting to listen to you because you are observant, reflective and well spoken. Thanks for sharing! ☺️
@@maxpower21cAgreed. We are shut down a lot when talking about it. I use to be very sensitive and would cry during confrontation. Starting in college, I would get very angry if a confrontation arose. There's only so much negativity and hostility from people. It felt liberating and scary to stand up to people. I've worked on my temper, but still have times where someone will say something to me in a certain and it just triggers volcano of anger thats hard to control. I'm just tired that people will tell me as a man to open up and say what I feel; but if I complain about how being a man affects my mental health and living with severe OCD and how others treat me for being a man, I'm either an oversensitive man, have a lot toxic masculinity, or told I have it good because I'm a man.
Males & Females think and behave differently in many ways. Changing your outward appearance only changes how others might perceive you, but you’re still going to be your DNA and think that way.
Wrong. Hormones literally change the brain structure of trans people when they reach the brain. Mtf people become more sensitive and open with their emotions, ftm people usually feel their emotions in a milder form but for a longer period of time. This has been reported by every single trans person on hormones in existence, mood changes, sexuality changes, behaviour changes, attitudes change, even appetite changes when someone is on hormones, and their way of thinking changes to the gender they are transitioning. It is basic chemistry. Sex hormones interact with your brain chemistry, go back to school:)
I'm really glad you mentioned that you've always gotten along better with girls even though you're male because I feel the same way and I think a common things trans guys bring up is that that they were always friends with guys rather than girls which isn't the case for me. Anyways, you seem like an awesome guy and I'm looking forward to more videos!
A man would never say that women are more advanced with communication, that's a myth women just communicate when is convenient for them. LOL that's the difference
I think I'm kind of In love with you, it's like 70% your personality 30% how gorgeous/freaking beautiful you are, you seem really really cool like I want to be friends, seriously.
As a natural born woman who is turning 50 next year.. You and the people like you are an inspiration to all true lgbt community.. My adopted son is as flamboyantly gay as you can imagine and he makes the community shine as well. I’m no bigot, I’m part of the bdsm community. Here’s my advice to all.. Every single day you open your eyes you have choices to make, make this one every day. Be kind to yourself and others who bring you joy, find the beauty in mundane things and the world’s glorious treasures will make your heart feel lighter each and every day. Always tell the ones you love/care for how much you do, you never know when yours or their last day will be..
I understand that it's important for the physical body to match the mind. As a gay man, I am still being educated on transgender. However, I would love for me and my husband to be able to have children without the need for a surrogate. I wonder how can you can define the worst parts of being a man when you have functioning female body parts. In society, you want to be seen and viewed as man, with all the rights, but you can have a child (without a man). I can't. My husband can't. I apologize for my lack of understanding, but it's a work in progress.
this whole video is just you realizing you are nothing like a man. like you still think and behave like a woman and from what you say you can't really relate to men at all.
You’re gorgeous, very good looking, and attractive. Attraction is physical, emotional, and some times totally blind. I consider myself pan sexual, I’m attracted to attractive people (they should give off the right vibes). I see how you can confuse gaydar… stay beautiful.
I literally clicked on the video because you look A LOT like Jake gyllenhaal in the thumbnail and then stayed for the content because you're so charming and lovely. Love your vibe:)
You don't think like a man because you aren't one. Feel free to do the best Impersonation of a man that you can, but understand that others are not required to go along with that delusion.
Incorrect. This was precisely a video explaining how he is not an inconsiderate douchebag. Most emotionally unhealthy people-- males and females-- behave in the manner he detailed. It's more acceptable within society for males to behave this way, but it's not healthy.
You spent the entire video saying you don’t feel like a man or think like a man and then explained how when you presented as female you thought you were a man.
It's not like we can choose. Either we transition or we're uncomfortable like really uncomfortable in our body for our whole lives and that's not really an option.
When I would go to concerts, the stalls in the men's room usually either don't have a door or the one or two stalls they do have are taken. I've had a few awkward instances where I just had to walk in and walk out without using the bathroom and it's always nerve-wracking.
The genetic history of men - '5 or 6 of you hide quietly in those bushes by the river - when something big enough to feed us comes by for a drink, jump out and pelt it with rocks and sticks until it (or you) are dead. If you don't all jump out the same time, some of you will die.. ok...GO!" Women - "coordinate and organize everything else - GO!" Different relationship dynamic.
@@occhams1 The "Men vs Women" episodes of Bear Grylls' "The Island" proved this to be incorrect. The women complained about the conditions, argued amongst each other, and were generally unproductive (to the point they would have starved or died of sickness if they hadn't been leeching off the men) while the men effectively built a sustainable habitat through efficient planning and concise direction... which the women repeatedly exploited instead of coordinating and organizing for themselves. Yes, there is a different social dynamic but your example is backwards.
This is what happens when you have no experience or even clue what living a certain way entails but still choose to not only pretend to adopt it but also judge it harshly as an outsider. It's almost blackface.
As a cis hetero man, the "I'm not gay, I'm just nice" really hit me, idk why being "nice" or very open about non-man stuff as a man is considered gay
We aren’t used to men being nice to us and not having an agenda, so yeah.
I think we are mixing "nice" with "good person".
Its not. Its how youre nice. Men arent overly nice, and if men are, theres usually an underlying reason.
@@MiikeyLawless sure. Because "being nice" is overrated. You should look for good people, not "nice" people.
In school I was always asked “are u gay?”. I’m not but I have low testosterone so puberty hasn’t changed me much, so I still have a higher pitched voice. Though I was supposed to get a testosterone shot for that reason, before I was supposed to but corona happened. Though I don’t mind if you’re gay or not.
“I’m not gay, I’m just nice.” 😭 this was the cutest video ever.
Hahahaha aww thank youuu!💙☺️
They think hes gay because he is fem. Imagine a femboy transitioning into a women he may have some fem mannerisms but depending on when he decided to be a femboy he'll have mannerisms and ways of thinking that are very male. Because gender is not just a social construct but is also biological
Byron Thomas I could’ve swore nobody asked
God made them Male and female!
Saying gender is fluid and changeable is to question God's creation!
He seems so nice and I would date him. So wholesome :'(
I have been on T for 17 years. I can't even remember what is what like to live as female. Eventually, you forget that you are trans. You're just a guy.
I wish people just saw trans guys as guys
@@Nb-by6uo I don't think that's completely possible though.
@@mnb4414 How is it not
@@matthewmattnunyabiznz5959 👏👏👏
@@lisamclean2352 being a dude is not only about testosterone, boys are raised in a different way also
Your eyes are piercing
Hehe thank you :))
Sam Switz of course :)
I agree!!
@@SamSwitz omg yes. Your eyes are so amazing🔘🔘! Im jealous 😭😭😭. But im usually attracted to guys with blue eyes so yeah I was captivated during the whole video 😆
@@SamSwitz this is a great video and it shows a side that no one talks about. I love it! Another thing tho that may help in your bathroom endeavors is the "shewee" I know it sounds ridiculous but it helps alot for a wtm transition. They are really cheap too. Not sure if you have ever explored that option and if not, you should give it a try! Much love and thanks for amazing content!
He’s like if a Golden Retriever turned into a human. What a cool, chill dude.
The way you described this with a dog pic
FR
and that's why men thinks he's gay
she*, women do be like that
More like a chemically altered woman who’s always going to be a woman. Science.
As a man among men you are expected to:
1. Be stoic (get straight to the point, jump over small talk, don't complain about small stuff - just get on with it, control your emotions)
2. Be independent (don't rely on others opinions too much, handle mostly every problem in daily life on your own, don't lean on others)
3. Be strong minded (may be a superfluous point covered by the other ones)
4. Present your thoughts and ideas with conviction (have a clear picture/conclusion of what you think, neither women or other men respect a man that goes around unsure about where he stands)
5. Don't bother others with your problems unless necessary (like talking about hard emotions or help with something you could manage yourself)
6. Make seemingly harsh jabs at each other and take it with no fuss, it's part of the deal (the unwritten code, you will learn if it's within bounds or going too far, they are signs of acceptance aka. bro love)
7. Show controlled aggression (a well rounded man that gets looked up to is known to have the capability to be dangerous but only uses it when appropriate)
8. Not doubt or falter to make a difference and help another person in crisis (put the fear aside, be stable and rational)
9. Bring solutions (this element requires a degree of disregard for democratic discussions and such and focuses more on getting things done effectively)
10. Be competitive (hierarchy within the male structures and all that...)
11. Play hard but fair (this is learned from a very young age, and a well developed man knows where his and others limits are, foul play will fast get you rejected)
12. Hold your ground (your limit will be tested by other men perpetually, and if you don't hold your ground it's a free pass to disrespect you/intrude on you in the future)
There are certainly many more, but that off the top of my head. Most men have these traits but in different proportions. It's a pretty hard environment but it also brings gratification and comradery (yes you heard right!) when it works as it's supposed to. I will not claim that these things are all necessarily good, but that's just how it is. Especially among men born say around 1990 or older. I think the culture is sort of changing with younger generations, but I'm not so informed about them. I'm a late 80's kid myself.
So if you think about the above stuff with respect to what's said in the video:
1. Aggressive as hell when playing soccer:
Yes, as said in #10, #11 and #12, they know where the limit is and those limits are finely honed and pushed as far as they can be taken without crossing the line (mistakes will happen when you play with fire) and the competitive context brings that out in full force - also your limits will be tested so if you hold your ground and push back when your line is crossed the end result is a functional system where you will have equal space to be as aggressive back. If you are unaccustomed to it I understand if it's a bit startling. For the initiated it's simply part of the fun.
3. The waiter example:
You are expected to not require any extra attention according to #1 and #2 and to know what you want to order straight away according to #4 and #9. The pat on the back is actually a nice gesture as in #6. It means the waiter is broing you up! The "short, impersonal tone" is showing confidence in you knowing what you want and the expectation is an equally sure and short answer back - you're already in the club, so congratulations!
3. Locker room talk:
Well, there's always those dudes that talk shit, but not nearly all men are like that. I see it as unsure guys that don't really know where they stand regarding #2 that feel the need to talk shit like that. Seems to be common in the US (?), but I haven't experienced it a lot in Sweden. Culture thing perhaps. You are not required to join. If you are included against your will/asked to share your bit then you can simply lean against #2 and #4 and say "I of course appreciate a nice body, but it feels a bit "high school" to talk butts and racks like that - but please carry on!".
4. Being seen as gay:
If you are perceived as lacking in #1 you will be seen as soft and perhaps unsure. Then the gay association is only a step away. Especially if you don't have a particularly large, manly stature.
Anyhow... that was a fun little write up. Don't know if it brings anything useful or if it's even true for anyone but me. But it's a perspective at the very least. I think most men would agree to the gist of it.
This is the best comment on the page. You just elucidated everything that I wanted to say but didn’t want to type. The only thing that I would add is something I saw under another vid- dude was working in a nursing home and a WW2 vet told him “you’re the kind of man I’d want next to me in combat”. He told his GF that was the greatest compliment anyone had ever given him and she fully failed to comprehend it. Hundreds of thousands of years of being the warrior/hunter/protector is written in our genetic code. We have an innate sense for whether or not someone can hold the line. And in that light, a firm handshake and a sense of steadfastness behind the eyes are huge and meaningful signifiers.
You won this comment section, bro. Nice write up. Gonna copy it for future references. Really good work.
Damn you broke that shit down so well, you’re top tier @oskjan1
You're crazy with such a long comment.
I’m a cis female but I’m kind of a tomboy and I like to go by men’s rules, instead of female rules. Like that people should be stored at all, because the best to be or grow balls
you look like a mix of jake gyllenhaal and ryan gosling
He does
Omg stop it 🙈 that is the BEST COMPLIMENT I HAVE EVER HEARD. They are like beautifully chiseled men. Thank youu!!
Dennis Tokay that’s a man
@Dennis Tokay He looks A LOT like Jake Gyllenhaal. It's funny how similar they look... Related?
and Ellen.
In my experience, being a man is lonely. I am a cis man but I have studied lots of feminist writings, and over time have trained myself, starting in college, to think as much like a woman as I could manage. I have at times wished to be a woman, but it was never a very strong wish, more like a daydream. I very much like the friendship of women. I am now 68 years of age, and fortunately I am no longer perceived as a threat or competitor by either men or women.
@Burp Gun thats his friggin face GUUUUUNNN
Aw. Do you still think about being female?
@@gillianomotoso328 Not that much anymore. But I still try to think as a woman might when I want to understand what a woman is talking about or thinking. Fortunately I have been happily married, for 35 years, to a woman I very much enjoy spending time with. And I believe my habits of thinking have been helpful in getting along with her all this time.
Why would you want to think like a woman as much as possible? You know you can be a man and not be an asshole or wanting to fuck everything that walks, without reading any feminist literature, right? Also how are you lonely as a man if men are more often than women able to form deeper bonds with the same sex? There's a reason why the Spartans were so close as men. So what the hell have you been doing to feel so lonely? Are you socially awkward or something?
I hope youve found someone to talk to. You look like a nice guy. I hope one day society changes to stop making all men predictors in the eyes of women. Alot of stress could be alleviated on both sides.
You look like a hot boy most women would stay away from because they think you are a player! You look like a player! Which just means ur very handsome!
Hahaha omg hilarious, but also thank you!! 😂👏🏼💙
Yup. I clicked cause I saw a hot guy. I'm so vain. 🙈
Omg y’all too much 😂😂thank you💙
Ur very attractive and I can see how a girl may peg you as a player, but after seeing your video, you are such a sweetheart! If you liked guys, I would totally want get to know you romantically 🤗. Keep up the beautiful vids
@Cam Morrison ok Karen
You can't stop looking at his eyes. They're stunning!
Theyre just blue. Its not that big a deal.
@@ordinarytree4678do u have blue eyes
Kinda like Roger Daltry of the British rock group The Who.
Ikr there so pretty and he’s so handsome
Her*
Socially speaking, I felt like it was much harder to make friends as a guy than a girl. I really didn't like the vibe when being around guys, or the things they said about women... but then if I tried to be friendly with women, they'd see me like a creep giving them unwanted attention. I'm a very anxious and self-conscious person and I thought transitioning would make me feel better, but I became extremely socially anxious and aware of every little thing I did and said that could potentially be taken the wrong way. I noticed the same thing as well, that men just don't really interact with other men. In some cases, while being with my girlfriend, I would be completely dismissed. They'd be all nice and talk to her, while almost turning their back to me. This happened at restaurants, in stores... But on the other hand, they would ignore her if the subject was ''manly'' like cars, computers, would assume I was the one driving... I don't have my license, she has a brand new car, knows about computers, but male employees would complete ignore her even if we were there for something that belonged to her.
Im just learning about the trans experience because my neice is becoming my nephew.
But in this area i might be able to help.
This guy hit the nail on the head when he says "im not gay im nice". Men are not nice to each other until its earned. We organise ourselves socially in a distinct hierarchy automatically, this practice is learned very young, and if there is contention for position it becomes clear very quickly and that battle is unavoidable, (this is clearly show in 5 and 6 year olds in their first year at school. Ask the boys at the start, who is the strongest? They all say me.
Ask at the end of the first year, and they all point to the strongest.)
It is this organisng that is the foundation of everything that relates to who is attracted to who. As we get older, the game begins, the hierarchy gets adjusted for kudos, and gets more influential, the girls react to this heirarchy. Even though they cant see it, they feel it, the more beautiful a girl thinks she is, the higher up the ranks she shoots for.
Im purposefully only generalising, but this does cover most people, the outliers are always there of course.
Reply if you want me to continue
@@GDKLockout that sounds depressing.
@@Houseproudasamotherhen it's just a description of the reality we live in. Many things about human instinctive behaviour is quite depressing.
If men are ignoring you and paying more attention to your girlfriend. Then it means they aren't intimidated by your nor respect you. Example, as a man we always speak to the man. We make small chit chat with their partner, but for the most part we just converse with them the man. Why? Because men are "territorial" when it comes to their partner you could say and might take it the wrong way. So out of respect we just speak to them to show them we have no ulterior motives and so things don't get out of hand.
@@cloudyns I mean, I personally detransitioned a while ago so this doesn't apply to me anymore. Being intimidating was not a concern or need for me, and I don't see how just being there isn't enough for them to respect other people. What determines if another man deserves your respect or not, before he even has the chance to say anything? I'm genuinely asking; I'm curious to know, because it's obviously not a mindset I had at that time.
You’re eyes are so beautiful in a disturbing kinda of way
Hahaha thank you?? I think?? 😂
You look high off edibles
Sam Switz lol
I know what you mean! I find it hard to make eye contact with people who have this kind of eye color because they’re so beautiful 😰😳
My moms eyes look like his and one time a guy told her “those will get annoying to look at” lmao wtf!?
My big brother who is cis and straight feels the same way about locker room talk, it disgusts him. He feels it's disrespectful. I feel the same with females when they sexualize males.
@Sabine Mouton That's why the media is a waste of time. There's nothing new or educating, or insightful about double standards.
Sabine Mouton Yeah media is more for entertainment and rating. Not so much about information or unbiased reporting now.
Yeah it works both ways. Both are equally disgusting. Nobody should be spoken of as if their just meat and not a person. But males definitely get shit on for this, bit when women objectify men, it's "female power" and it's "fighting back". 🤷🏽♂️
Why do you have to say my "cis" brother? I think it goes without saying that he's not trans if you don't mention it?
@@noizW I don't "have" to I just wanted to clarify 'cause of the particular video I'm commenting on. Sometimes when I express something or tell a story I like to be overly detailed lol. Just how I am.
I think I might be trans, so I've been doing a bit of research into it. I've found your videos eye-opening. I rarely see anyone that transitioned past 17, and as a 21-year-old and questioning, hearing you say you started at 19 calms down my anxiety. A lot of people expect everyone to be solid on their gender, sexuality, etc, but I've always questioned how I felt internally about my gender. Anyways, thank you for these videos, thank you so much!!!
Souls, remember this verse:
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
Which clears out the question(complains) that bible is man written, IT IS NOT.
Our sinful nature allows not to write any which were written into the bible.
Nor can any man see future, unless GOD has given him visions.
Joel 2:28
And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
Acts 2:17
And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:
Galatians 3:22
But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
Galatians 3:8
And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be blessed.
(My advice to many souls out there, don´t believe all the diagnoses the "dr" give you. )
- trans
- autistic,
- having PTSD,
Whatever the diagnoses may be.
And having male hormones more then needed while begin female and other way around, means not that someone is trans.
There been rumours and articles and people jokingly and unjokingly speaking years back that the masons ruin our foods, air, water.
There been rumours that masons place hormones into our food which we consume, giving us odd looks and unstable hormone levels, males have more THE E in them and females have more THE T in them.
Now, as years have passed, people openly believe and diagnoses themselves and others being “trans”, seems like masons got what they wanted and worked for.
Ignore the schizoid bible guy, you do you and good luck with your transition
Speak to a therapist first
My GF was in her 40s when she started transitioning. For sure make sure it is what you really want, but if it is it is never to late.
Hope you are well now three years later. I’m trans and started at 21/22 and now I’m 41. Keep your head up and do what you need to do
I've always thought the way men nonchalantly speak to men they dont know in public is a form of respect in that they are being "real" with eachother and not putting on that fake polite front that is expected. When some men talk to women they are almost placating to them as you would to a young child. When addressing another man, they show him respect by dropping the act.
(I'm a gay female but thats just what it has always seemed like to me)
Nah it’s laziness not “respect” ☺️
Respect is when they act formal.
Casual because they don’t care 😊
Qonita BadegesTM no bro, ur not a dude u don’t get it
Danni Palmer that’s exactly how we are
I know exactly what you mean and I agree. Before my transition, I feel that guys treated me like I was delicate, despite my all male wardrobe. Now that I'm one year on T, I don't experience that anymore
D P I've kinda thought that way too.
I think it is incredibly eye opening to get to experience society from both sides of the binary perspective of gender in society. We can all empathise and understand what people tell us and how they describe their experience, but to get to actually live it is incredible. Thank you for sharing this!
Aida Explorer It’s even more interesting being non-binary trans, being perceived that way, being perceived as a woman, AND a man. lol. And people treat you very differently depending on which gender they think you are. You’re seen as a butch cis woman? Likely to get sh*t on by most of society. A feminine cis guy? Same thing. Non-binary trans? Even more hatred, because so many people see androgyny as some sort of threat. It’s insane how hateful people can be toward you, based purely on your gender and/or outward appearance
Sup dude, the talk you get probably comes from you looking like a skater or surfer, it's an athletic bro code.
I agree with this. Not to diminish anyone's experience, but I have a tendency to talk to other guys like this...as I'm a surfer (aww damnit I just realized I'm a stereotype). For me I mean it less as disrespectfully casual, and more as a means to grow closer. If I speak to you with "Hello, sir, how can I help you?" then you're a customer and we both expect to keep it that way. If I greet you with, "Sup dude. What'cha want?" then you basically just need to mention one interest we have in common and we're about to be best friends. :)
Suuuhhhh Duuuddeee
Ellen Degeneres had a son? 😘
Hoody Baker IKRRRRRR 😍
Hoody Baker omg yesss and I love her
Hoody Baker 🤣
Love this comment lol
Holy shittt you look like jake gyllenhaal :0
hahaha omg thank you 😂 I get that ALL the time and I don’t see it but I love him so hell yea! 💙
I thought the same thing !!! Plus gorgeous eyes!!!
Maggie gyllenhaal
Kyle Simpson really...
I was JUST about to comment that!
You transitioned into a really good looking man. I wouldn't worry so much about what people think, you are who you are. Just be yourself!
You are classically handsome, emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, and kind with good with communication skills. Men like you are rare and I realllly believe that those things are going to end up working in your favor. I am pretty sure that you are the man that most women are looking for.
You have such an interesting perspective, thank you so much for sharing this. I've never thought about the way that men interacted with other men before, but your experiences make so much sense.
Sabine Mouton there are reasons why women may talk about men a certain way, not necessarily justifications, but reasons that have more to do with the way men have interacted with them than to do with the inherent nature of those women.
Cam Morrison I dunno...I guess you mean a man with vulva? I can think of some fantastic advantages...
@@Michellok786 For someone who previously hadn't thought about it you have an awful lot to say...
this is really random but why do I feel like if they ever needed a young hot Santa Claus for a movie you would be perfect lol
I did play Santa Claus once when I was younger. A hot young Santa Claus has probably been in some movie.
I enjoy looking like Santa. I often get a reaction from children walking by. They look at me, and are not quite sure how to react. Little children will sometimes hide behind their mothers.
I guess it is a bit overwhelming for them to see Santa in the supermarket, with no costume, not doing anything special, just shopping like everyone else.
Sean Claus; Santa’s youngest wild child son who is forced to take on the Santa Claus name for a Christmas to learn some responsibility
A young hot santa Claus😂😂😂
@@97spartan PERFECT
Does anyone else watch people on youtube and want to be friends with them XD
MEEEE!!! 🙋🏼♂️
@@SamSwitz Let's be buddies!! 😂
yess
Not me.
I’m a gay man, and I grew up around woman like all my life. I know exactly what you are talking about 100%. Especially with how guys talk to you. There are guys out there that don’t act like that, however the majority....
However, I don’t mind people assuming I’m gay...for obvious reasons. Lol
"I'm not gay, I'm just nice" that's gonna be my war cry
I love the fact that you stayed true to yourself and haven’t felt the need to overcompensate with the locker room talk and objectifying women. ❤️
Some Men/Women objectifying some Men/Women, don't stick it to a sex group just because it's the stereotype!!
@@damdam1096 I second that.
@Sarah Yeah, what a hero for not objectifying someone. So brave! Definitely noteworthy! /s
Why would a woman objectify women?
@@beautifulspirit7420 Sweet summer child, ever heard of Only Fans or Twitch?
@@beautifulspirit7420 former dude. Respect due. That's a dude now
It is really sad the way American men feel they have to act around each other and towards each other. I think they have a deep rooted fear of appearing gay if they are intimate, kind, gentle, etc. I have a group of male friends from Morocco. They are so sweet and loving with each other. That is just the way they were raised and therefore the culture. Their relationships are very close to those you witness with female friendships. I am sorry the male culture here is in such a sad state. Please try to never change who you are Sam. Maybe make some friends that are from other countries? Good luck!!!
Awww I agree with this- I have traveled to other countries and witnessed the same thing! Brothers and father and best friends hugging and cuddling even and so sweet and it’s seen as a normal human thing and a strength. Very eye opening- I agree that America needs to shift to more like that! Thanks so much for sharing👏🏼💙
As a male all my life I can shed light on this phenomenon.
2 things: Many of our fathers were underdeveloped emotionally, Oedipal stunting, to the point they are scared of their Sons & Daughters thus neglecting them (me) with ANY positive touch.
2nd- in all the media: tv, movies, commercials (brainwashing) like Bird Cage or Will & Grace. There was a campaign to introduce gay friendly acceptance across the airwaves and then in academia.
So ad 1) and 2) together and you trigger most straight males (80-90% of pop) into an exaggerated Fight or Flight response, cause we want to be accepted, which conflicts with our biological desire for boobies & soft-wet vagina into self doubt, playing on fears of inadequacy, leading to paranoia, frustration, settling, resentment, anger and then rage.
We long to cuddle be fraternal, but we repressed it so deep into the shame mud that resurrecting would feel like heading towards self-annihilation.
So your advice to make male friends abroad, forgetting/rejecting the entirety of male pop. hear is furthering the anomic breakdown of masculinity, furthering destruction of our Civilization as a Euro-colony. And all we get is: Let’s walk away.
As a male, I was taught to loathe, and fear males, embrace all safe things like the Feminine expression: communication, dance, posture, career choices etc.
it has been a self-annihilating hell.
I imagine many females have been pressured to be masculine, but that seems to be a more acceptable problem that most embrace.
Toxic masculinity built by shame, has not been so loved.
I hope this helps. We don’t find much sympathy anywhere, except for places society further shames & rejects, such as: (red-Pill, Mgtow, and even Dissident Right groups)
All we get is further threats of physical banishment/annihilation after we have already suffered self-shaming annihilation life-long.
Being received coldly at restaurant, was a hint of what I have felt as a very masculine 6’3” 200lb. Male.
Thank you for your time.
Morocco AKA the country that is one of the most world renown for street harassment of women in the entire world. I guess they don't have to do the locker room talk about women when they can just yell whatever they think about the woman to her on the street.
"Whether earned or not, Morocco has a reputation for being one of the most unsafe countries for women traveling alone. Stories of being followed, inappropriately touched, and bombarded with lewd comments circulate all over travel sites and many travelers are nervous to add Morocco to their itinerary for fear of suffering the same harassment."
If only American men could be so sweet and loving like Morrocan men...
@@Epimpin101 I agree it's up there but India actually won that dubious honor of having the highest amount of rape per capita. The U.S. talks about toxic masculinity if a guy 'manspreads' but in places like the middle east, toxic masculinity is where killing your wife or daughter is sanctioned by their 'god,' and fully condoned.
Liam Greenfield? More like... Liam Gayfield!
Okay sorry for my terrible jokes I’ll go back into the closet -
It sounds like you felt sure that you were a guy, but never actually understood what men are in the first place.
How could he understand if he wasn't born as one? Only men know what it's like to be a man, making modifications on your body can't change that.
He’s adorable. Can’t believe the women aren’t crawling over each other to get to him.
deetleskeet he is not handsome to me
It's because shes a woman
Because he is a she.
Because he sounds and acts like a she...
yikes everyone here is so negative
Holy you are so attractive 😍 honestly clicked on the video for your face stayed for the content
Omg Hahahaha that’s the best sentence ever. Thank you so much! 😂💙
Same
Nayyyy 🐴
Same
@@SamSwitz Legend.
You are so right in so many things; I am MTF, as a male, you have to keep the body language to a minimum, otherwise you'll risk to be seen as gay. I went to similar experiences; my friends have always told me I am too cold, it takes a lot of time and willingness. And some of them might never fade, but they are part of you and your personality, If you ask me it's very charming
I think whatever traits a person has are perfect and charming, it is just hard to navigate through societal shit sometimes haha :)
Ok, so random question. After 3 years of transitioning, I'm still having a hard time minimizing body language. Granted, I was 52 before I started transitiioning, so that's a LONG time to be a woman in this world. But I was always 'butch', so athletic and strong, ect. Its' puzzling me why this is still hard?
@@samjohnson1257 I don't think some of those traits will ever disappear, you'll just make them part of you. I was very feminine ever before transition, and I still have a lot of manners that are strictly male, I consider them part of my personality, I wouldn't worry about slipping from time to time, I don't think your friends even notice
Honestly I think a lot of cis guys would have more “feminine” mannerisms if the world didn’t subconsciously or consciously teach them not to have them. So in MY opinion, if there are traits that just aren’t going away with time and transitioning, that’s who you are! And it’s more normal to have them than to NOT have them due to society’s influences. I like when people have a huge mix personally
BUTTT, if it truly bothers you then just actively work on changing those things and they will eventually. But just get clear FIRST on if you’re changing it because of what society has labeled feminine and masculine and u wanna fit in (we all have that to some degree, no judgement) orrr if u r doing it cuz it just doesn’t feel like u. That’s where I would start and then go from there:)
You gotta learn the hard way you know. Its tough being a guy.
"I'm not gay I'm just nice" my entire life in one sentence
Its weird how being gay has become synonymous with being nice. I'm gay and not nice because so many things irritate me after being around toxic people for so long
if you're a girl that like girls you are gay Blanche
@Cam Morrison who knows what...?
@Cam Morrison oh so u meant he
... Another thing with there only being 1 stall in men's washrooms: If that single stall is out of toilet paper, you're out of luck. Whereas in women's washrooms there are multiple stalls so there's always back up!
YESSS! And oftentimes the guys toilet paper is shredded somehow, and never restocked quickly..😂
I’ve had to resort to using the toilet seat liners or paper towels..ow 😂
Michele Maldonado seriously? It’s not that easy.
One thing that's odd (but good) about men's rooms is they usually still have seat covers, which I would have thought would seem too fussy for them. I guess the germaphobe lobby is stronger than the übermasculine lobby.
Anyway, the number of times I've used those as backup toilet paper is ridiculous
@@SamSwitz I've never understood the 20-30 minutes in the bathroom thing either. If it takes you that long then you don't really need to shit and you're just gonna end up with hemorrhoids from the unnecessary straining! Lol
People are known for assuming that the grass is greener on the other side but, often, if we get up close and personal with that other side, and take a close look, it’s not what we expected. I wanted to change my physical sex when I was 17, back in 1980. My G.P. was also a family friend, which made the discussion somewhat uncomfortable. But he truly had my best interests at heart and kindly asked me questions that made me reflect on why I had made inquiries into such a profound, irreversible procedure. I’m a heterosexual woman, so it wasn’t to match my body to conform with normative standards of what my sexuality should be. And it wasn’t because I identified as a man, either. I am a tomboy… but I also used to like to glam it up. But I was not then, am not now, nor will I ever be beautiful, or even pretty, by social constructs set as the standards that have been in place during my lifetime; but I can do a whole heap of traditionally female-dominated skills and abilities, much of which has been lost to most women in modern, Westernised cultures… mainly because I can be pretty old-school. I just felt that I couldn’t compete with all the girlie-girls, yet were considered some kind of threat to men, pertaining to traditionally male-oriented skills and abilities. I didn’t really fit in with any group of people, and I still don’t. But I met a man who loved me for exactly who and what I am; that was almost 38 years ago, and we celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a few months back. Expectation rarely aligns with reality.
And one thing that many people deny is the distinct difference (generally speaking) between the way that biological men and women think. This is one of the things that (as a woman) shits me about most all other women, i.e. their under-developed analytical thinking. That being said, my left and right sides of my brain are almost in constant battle. But I’ve learned to eke out the best of both hemispheres. I’m just trying to be as authentic as I can be, without causing too much discomfort and/or upset to those who are not so adaptable and versatile. I’m embracing my abilities, intelligence, emotions and intuition, regardless of the package it all comes in.
Wishing everyone love, laughter, prosperity, peace and good health 💔
Being seen as gay when you’re not gay. Welcome to being a man!! I used to be a man btw.
You used to be a man .. What are you now ??
@@Michellok786A man is an adult human male .. A girl is a female child. You seemed sure that you used to be a man no worries its all good you can be a grasshopper if it pleases you ..
No one can be who they are not . They can try though that is called effort noun a vigorous or determined attempt
The struggle is real 😎😎
@@Michellok786 Happy 2020 *
Years go by
Girls turn into women
Boys turn into men
What is a young grasshopper called ?
A Girl From Another Light gross
@@Michellok786 well... not a fully girl ..... but as long as she is happy ... we cannot interfere .... right ?
the hardest part of being a man is "Burden of Performance" and aways being in position of "Providing Value" where you are.
Lol most guys aren't building anything of importance nowadays and women's value is going down too yet you guys put too much emphasis on the importance of women and give them a false sense of superiority
Agreed. I can't live up to that myself and I'M a cis guy
It's the biology its normal to males to provide
One X you just sound dissatisfied all around.
Guys take forever to poop because we often don't eat enough veggies. If you live off of steak and potatoes you're gonna have a hard time dropping a deuce
The reason men act detached such as saying “hey dude “ and having no further connection is because they don’t want to show interest in you as a person because they don’t want to be seen as gay.
BINGO!!! EXACTLY!!! 🙌🏼
Honest Feedback kinda... they act detached because its business. They don’t care to be their friend and you don’t care to be theirs. You show respect/they show respect and get to business. You don’t give them problems, they don’t give you problems. Honestly I like the coldness. I’m there for food. Now there is being cold and being an ass. That’s different. But if they are respectful, totally cool.
It’s definitely part of it, but beyond that, men are seen as more independent. They don’t want to bother others and don’t want to be bothered.
I like the aloofness, because as a feminine looking gay male (not meaning long hair and makeup but just androgynous features) I've definitely had women experiences in my own way and they were annoying and uncomfortable being pestered and obligated to give a male something in return for doing this or that for me like attention and the constant pressure to feel "ON" at all times for them. I'm an introvert and like being alone so i like being around guys that arent attracted to my energy or looks because they leave me alone.
I hear stories if women being stalked and feeling like prey all the time isn't a good feeling. I relate to women a lot it's funny. No I'm not trans but I just don't have the normal male experience.
@@aninani8294 Well, probably over time he learned that you're not made of sugar and not going to crumble.
The "niceness" you used to receive from men was never because they were wanting to just bond as people
so basicaly you're just saying that men are nicer to women just in case that will ever lead to them getting laid by those women in the future? Alrighty then I see what ur saying... So men can be fake too huh? Fricking men thinking with their cock yet again! But it's good to know... But yeah I have been getting that feeling about some men that they are subtly flirting with me but not overtly. And my dumbass at first thought they were just being nice but I can see now that it was a bit flirtatious too.
@@zebnemma The vast majority of men aren't like this. I'm nice to people because I'm a good person. I hold the door for everybody, male or female, not because I think I'm ever going to talk to that person again, but because I'm being polite. Definitely pay attention, but don't think that a guy picking up something you dropped for you means that they want in your pants.
Yeah, I have guy friends but I have been married 24 years. When I was in my late teens/twenties I would occasionally get what I would call "The Letter" (back in the day before smart phones when men actually wrote to you) where a guy that I thought I was good friends with was basically making it clear he was no longer happy in the Friend Zone and was struggling with wanting to jump my bones when we were hanging out. At the time, I would feel pretty devastated and sad that I had to end the friendship. Now I think I was being naive. Most guys won't be spending lots of one-on-one time with ANY girl as a friend at that age. They just don't want to invest that kind of time. It's normal for teens and young adults to want to partner up, the most natural thing in the world.
@@beautifulspirit7420 That's honestly just weird. I'd never do this to any of my friends, and I am a teenager. If I'm interested in someone, it's because they're a really good friend. It seems illogical to throw a good friendship away just because they don't want a relationship. Maybe I'm a minority on this, though. I really don't know what most guys would think. I'm just sorry that that happened so often to you that you started expecting it.
@@beautifulspirit7420 can't believe this is still a thing. i'm 26 and have had 3 guys now do this to me (all in the same timeframe, my early 20's when i believed hetero men and women were capable of being friends.) but instead of letters they're sending DMs.
does it get any better with age? i wish i could just be friends with guys again
What do women think being a man is like? Do they really think it’s all mixed tennis and cocktail parties? Well don’t tell them otherwise they’ll all want to be us
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saveslike what good treatment? What rights?
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves so nothing basically. We don't have time for your victimhood. It's toxic. You only care about your own problems, which you can't even name.
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves Don't try to move the goal post to history. We were talking about today, which you can't name a single thing about. Bye kiddo
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves These high school debate tactics are pathetic. You have zero arguments, zero facts and a lot of delusional ego. Grow up
I'm a cis guy and I can 100% relate to this xD. Perhaps because I was always shorter than other guys and ended up being bullied, I never wanted to take part in their whole male rituals and gravitated towards girls for friendship. But yeah, interactions between guys can be weird as hell. There's always some competition and intimidation going on and then there's me being there like I couldn't give less of a f**k.
I want to be like a guy, I just don't want to be a guy. 😕
Then do that 🤘🏼 Just because you have “masculine” qualities or interests or mannerisms doesn’t mean you ARE a man and that’s 100% okay
@@khenbornagain except for a cockroach, don't be a cockroach!
You're describing a gay guy -- lol
Then you don't really want to be a guy.
It’s ok to be a tomboy. 👍
This is really a great video. I'm a gay man and lived in San Francisco in the 1980s and 1990s. However, I never had any cramps friends or even contact with trans people. Recently I met the trans man and got to talk to him about his experience. I was surprised because I didn't even realize he was trans. It is obvious that even in the gay community much conversation has yet to occur
I’m a trans girl and o would totally date you, you’re so handsome and cute! ☺️
Wat.jpeg
@Arwyn you guys are terrible...
@Arwyn was saying that necessary tho
You're really adorable too! I love seeing nice comments on UA-cam, it's kinda rare :)
heterosexual in reverse.. eeewww... one of you is a man, you should know what i mean...
It feel SO good to know that you’ve noticed these things as well!!! I am ftm as well and have been on hormones for about 2.5 years. Literally everything you said was just spot on 😂😂 I can definitely relate to the “i’m not gay i’m just nice!” bit
Amen dude! Hahaha thank god other FTM dudes have noticed too, right?! Nice for me to hear too 😂😂
Sam wasn’t socialized as a male. Rather he was raised female and so is in touch with his emotions and aware of himself and has the emotional maturity equivalent of a woman now even though Sam is a man.
Just had my first shot of T today
Ayyy congrats!!!!
Congrats man! I wish you luck and happiness on your journey becoming you! Sending all good vibes your way! Don’t let the negativity from others who don’t know or understand get to you. You have a big support system here! Peace ✌️❤️
I'm jealous :') but good on u comrade
@@Pocketdaemon i always find how before i started medically transitioning i was disgustingly jealous of my ftm peers that started to transition it was almost like i wanted them to suffer with me- and it seems like im not the only one. Youll get there buddy!
@@LE-xl2zu yea I feel that haha, hope you're well
I’m ftm but I’m scared to tell my mom because she thinks I’m gay but I’m ftm
i would try to have a very long conversation about it. dont mention the sexuality thing at first because that would be confusing, just say i am a boy. then if she is confused about who you like just say i like girls or whatever you like.
You're not going to be a very successful male if you're too scared to tell your mom things. Sounds to me like you are way too young to be thinking about any of this. Why can't you just be a more masculine female? They are some of the most sexy women on the planet?
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@@beautifulspirit7420 bruh gender dysphoria is a thing, trans people are trans and masculine women are masculine women, you can't suddenly choose not to be something when you clearly are or might be. Also, fear is a perfectly normal emotion that can be overcome, doesn't set you to a "male failure".
Don't say you are nice, then you are a self proclaimed "nice guy".
Thank you for this! Since I pass as a male, and sometimes been included into those lockerroom-talks, I wondered if I'm maybe gay because I'm not that obsessed with ass etc. I mean I love women, and also their bodys, but some people talk about them like hunting trophies and it makes me really uncomfortable:/
When you meet a girl who's really aroused by you, that's kind how dirty talk goes as well (with humor and flirting mixed in).
Women are aroused by very weird thing. E.g. At least 3 girls have told me they're aroused by sexual assault...first time I heard this, from my first gf, while such scene came up in a movie, i was like "WTF".
another ex, the happiest I've ever seen her, was when I drove to visit her, she had an attitude for no apparent reason and was pushing buttons for no reason whatsoever. At some point I lost my cool a bit, grabbed her hand, pulled her to an empty room, trapped her between my arms to ask her "wtf is your problem?". After a minute she suddenly jumped on me and started making out vigorously. After all that, she told me i should be like that more often, and then the walked off with biggest smile I ever saw on her.
I've multiple experiences of girls becoming aroused when I lose my patience and tell them to "shut the fck up"..."or what part of shut the fck up don't you understand?" Suddenly I'm looked at like I'm a hamburger...(and then I think to myself, wtf)
This one time, I met up with friend who was with a girl and her friend, my friend tried to smear the second girl off onme because she was being a cockblock for him. He was joking about us hooking up, and she tried dismiss that by saying "if I were here's, I wouldn't know how to "please" properly, I had one of those moment's where I spoke before thinking and said "if you were mine, I'd fuck you however I want"...I was thinking "oh shit" as the words left my mouth, there was a silence, so I looked up and she was giving me that hamburger look (biting lip, up and down stare, etc)...later she asked me to walk her to the restroom, and partway there she suddenly grabbed me and started making out very vigorously.
The point is, in practice, and not words, women are turned on by weird shit (things they'll rarely admit publicly, like choking them, slapping their ass, and other weird shit)...but only if she already finds you attractive, otherwise you're experienced as just a creep.
And if you dont say and do such things, then any arousal she might have had will evaporate, and you'll land in the friendzone (In other words, she likes you as a human, but isn't aroused by you). And arousal and the lack thereof is the only difference between a romantic interaction and a plutonic interaction when it comes to heterosexual female attraction.
I played girl's soccer growing up too and all of your points about switching to men's soccer are so true!
RIIIGHT?!! 😂😂
Face: 30 year old action movie character
Voice: 16 year old pop singer
Probably because he's biologically female, lol.
Which is odd since I've seen on FTM on UA-cam with very deep masculine voices
Guillermo not every biological born male has a deep voice either.
@@GPrinceps nah it's in the genes. A boy whose father has a high pitched voice will also surely have a higher voice. Some dudes have a deeper voice some a higher. But yk what i mean
More like 13 y.o
Mtf girl here. You are a beautiful man. I understand the whole thing about being perceived as gay. When I still identified as a guy girls always assume im gay but i was bi. I just had a feminine energy and they took it as gay.
I am a feminine woman and believe me, me and my sister's were taught to be exactly the same as you described men are taught to be. . We had horses and if we had a bad fall😊 there was no one to wipe your tears, you wouldnt dare cry. We were taught women are strong which now i am glad of. We had beautiful dresses and did girlie things but were climbing trees and playing "hide from the Germans too"!
Oh yeah that sort of cold, carelessness among men is very widespread, im a guy and as I’ve tried to open up more socially, (social anxiety etc) it’s become more apparent how incredibly closed off others dudes can be. It’s like we’re all on the edge of hostility and are very cynical, maybe it’s just a Vegas thing though idk .
I think this macho attitude is an American thing . I live in Europe now and I see how European men are way more in touch with their “feminine” side . I’d say half of the stuff they do would be considered gay in the US and being a cis gay man it was quite confusing at the beginning .. like, I would get excited cause a hot guy was “flirting” with me but then it turns out they’re just European 😂
Omg you are so right...I didn’t even think of thattt, hahaha I need to get myself to Europe, how coollll!! 😂👏🏼 did you notice it more in certain parts of Europe? Or just everywhere
Sam Switz I live in Milan but I’ve seen this trend pretty much everywhere ! Men are very physical between each other even though they’re straight and no one gives it a second thought .. honestly it made me realize how hard it is to be a straight man in the US where this fragile masculinity thing makes everybody act so pretentiously macho .. so yeah , come to Europe ! 😂
@@angeninetytwo omg yea that sounds like a DREAMMM hahah. It's people just being people...without some weird expectation or judgement thrown on top of it. Heading there ASAP haha
Which part of Europe? Europe is a very diverse place and it certainly isn't like that here. 😛 At least for the older generation but people my age are mostly not concerned with gender stereotypes.
Hey bro, I’m transitioning to male as well and I love the fact that people off bat call me bro or dude because I am 100 percent sure that I should’ve been a dude from the jump and I’m good with it. People confuse my gender all the time and it doesn’t bother me. I’m excited for my transition anyway. I appreciate your channel too!
Welcome to the club Broseph Stalin. Get your brotein shake at the door.
LMAO My dad poops at the worst times and he always takes forever 😂
LOL go papa go😂👏🏼
lol same and that's a meme in our family
Holyyyyy heck, you’re handsome. This was enlightening too. 🌷
Awww hehe, thank you so much ☺️💙
Thanks for the video. Cis het guy here, your last line "Im not gay, I'm just nice" really stood out because I agree but also disagree about the idea that nice guy= gay. I think in this case while you present as a man, you retain *some sing-song qualities of talking associated with women and you're also high energy.
Men are dead inside and we think in sharp 90 degree angles placed in monochromatic environments - so, even when we're happy, nice and emotionally mature it's all run through a filter that strips away the happiness and overt displays of emotions. Joy is not a part of the communication toolset unfortunately.
Thoughts like " I'm so excited to see my friends, omg, look! it's them! I miss them! hey!" become "Hey! how you been?" - and the funny thing is, the person receiving it is also having those over excited emotions going on on in the inside as well. We're just not allowed or expected to be expressive in our emotions - we can talk about them, but we're expected to keep all of that shit on lock. All of the good emotions and all of the bad emotions.
You explain, in this video, that there are quite a bit of traditionally male behavior that you really don't like and don't want to be associated with. And you explain how in some situations, you prefer the way women act, and you tend to act more that way as well. This gets noticed, by men and women, and this is why people assume you are gay.
Personally, if i met you, i would have never guessed you are FTM trans, so physically, you sure as hell are passing. But the strong femininity in you (by male standards) would surely make me assume that you are probably gay. Because it's very rare to have a man with a lot of femininity who isn't gay. I have a friend who is like that. I thought for the longest time "is he gay?". Then through conversations, i realized he wasn't. But he told me that gay men come up to him a lot. This didn't prevent him from pursuing women and having girlfriends, so, i trust that you'll manage too.
Women, "What's it like being a man? Must be easy."
Men, "It's like nothing."
Women, "What do you mean?"
Men, "Nobody cares, nobody helps us do anything, nobody is interested in anything we do or say, nobody buys us drinks. If you don't earn your life it's like nothing."
wow what awful problems as a man 💀
@@cryxallyne for women, it's literal hell. For men, it's normal life.
@@jimboa20 yeah women go through literal hell and men get normal lives
@@cryxallyne lol what a fucking joke 😆
These are my literal fears too as a trans male, now I don't have to worry about being seen as gay cause I'm pan so whatever, but the bathrooms, the way's people treat you differently whether that's family, friends or whatever, other dudes being WAY too aggressive for no particular reason other than the excuse of being "bros" and the way they talk about woman and girls is downright disgusting to me ( not all men. ), people used to gaslight me saying "oh you don't get it cause you're trans/gray-demisexual" and yeah maybe I don't get everything about intimacy but at least I know some basic human respect and boundaries that I don't see a lot of other men have and it's honestly just sad.
I can relate though, to feeling "lost" as it were, as a man relating to other men, and feeling a little like an outsider. I'm a cis-male, but have never been very macho or manly, have never been into sports, never been assertive, didn't even like wrestling when I was young because it made me feel like I was being beat up, and so on. Ive always been very emotionally sensitive and artistic; I never had a father to teach me any of that "guy stuff". So now, I'm 45, and have the look and mannerisms of a regular guy, and guys assume (as they do with you) that they can act towards me like they would any other guy...even though I still feel like the awkward, unmasculine geek that I was in junior high. It's quite discomforting, to say the least. I just try to deal with it, because saying anything I would immediately be pegged as a sissy, and most likely gay (which actually would be the truth, because i AM gay). anyways sorry for this verbose comment. LOL
you are gay, thats pretty explains everything you said.
Trans men feel like gay men because they often retain feminine mannerisms & patterns of thinking. I noticed this with my friend who looks like a man but as soon as we start talking about something passionately, the conversation is 100% feminine feeling, whereas the same conversation with the same energy level with a man, they have different logic patterns and mannerisms. It's hard to verbalize exactly, but there is a deep "way of being" that is different between males and females that is in my experience almost 100% constant across cultures.
@Josie
I AM a XY-MAN & YES, JOSIE, YOU NAILED IT.
If women will get in the habit of ASKING a BORN-MALE person as WHY we are as we are [instead of knowing both US "&" themselves best -aka female EVE-EGO] then men would get PRACTICE in getting in touch with themselves via having to provide an answer.
Femininity & masculinity ARE NOT THE DAME as being in a Male or Female Vessel FOR such essence.
& Josie, notice that you will NOT get many "Thumbs Up"....Know Why?
Because it is THE TRUTH and NOT the "yep" what "I" always thought variety! Which is nothing more than "validation" of their "personal" Truths. [a function of EGO]..not necessarily THE TRUTH.
THE TRUTH is ALWAYS "Culture FREE" ...it Transcends Culture, because "Culture" is
Humanity [MAN-MADE], based on EGO & PRIDE while THE TRUTH is = OUR CREATOR
Those who HUMBLY seek it WILL FIND IT -- IT will SHOW itself TO YOU!
@haru WELL SAID. haru, I am Homosexual [Bisexual] & a DEVOUT life Long LOVER of THE CHRIST [near 1/2 a Century since boyhood] And & in that time FATHER CREATOR & JESUS HIS CHRIST, has taught me MANY THINGS about my Sexual Orientation [We share with his OTHER creations-like his bonobso Primates]. I has ALWAYS embraced, acepted & was VERY content with my sexuality. In fact, I could never understand what the fuse was all about, among Heteros. It's just sex.sensualness, it NOT the end of the world :). It's just one of many tools to express Love to one another. & I'm Afri-American Bible Belt Raised, where the Culture was VERY much against Homosexuality--I simply IGNORED those people.
That said: The MAIN thing YOU said, was the SAME as my HOLY FATHER taught me. But Josie IS right too. You see THE CREATOR gives us HIS essence in varying Quantities. THE CREATOR FATHER [Source of Being] "is" BOTH Masculine Essence "&" Feminine Essence. This operates INSEPENDENTLY of whether HE gave a XY or XX or even other combinations "Thru Which" to EXPRESS that VARYING Proportion of Masculine & Feminine Energy/Essence. SO, ALL Humanity have BOTH essences just at SIDELY VARYING Proportions. I MALE [XY Vessel], may have an ABUNDANCE of MACSULINE Essence [say 98% Masculine / 2% , Feminine] & given him also the hormones to match]. This creation would then tend to grow up a "lumber-jac: Or Boxer or something Highly Masculine only MODIFIED by "how" He grew up & was socialized [Nurture]. The Reverse "Proportions [2% Masculine & 98% Feminine] moderated by Nurture factors may very well yield a "Ballerina" Male [XY] person. And ANY combination in between AND any gender [XY or XX or XXY etc.]. And the MALE [representing THE CREATOR FATHER] is the Parent who determines the gender [If he gives an X [The Child will be "female". If he gives a "Y" the child will be MALE [The 1st NATURE sexperience for the child]. The Mother "modifies" the Hormones in her Womb as the 1st. Nurturing experience for the Child.
It is a GOD glorifying Dance that our CREATOR initiates. A Male represents FATHER-CREATOR Source of Being and Various Proprtions of Macsuline ENERY/ESSENCE [depeding on the Individual-NATURE He sends] AND it is MODIFIED by Mother Earthly Environemnt [GOD choses for that Individual -e.g Brith Timing in History & PLACE on the Earth].
This may seem Complex but so is our CREATOR. And WE are created in HIS IMAGE. If people UNDERSTOOD this more, there would be FAR LESS confusion in the word, Far Less gender dysforia & Far less PAIN & Suffering trying to FIT IN with "man's" Black or White version of How People should "BE"-Thier State of "BEING" & behaviors accordingly are Determined by GOD's Decision of how HE wants to be Expressed via that Indiviual--NOT Man's [Self-Traits Idolatrous] Decision.
So BOTH You "&" Josie are CORRECT. It is a "NATURE" [as Josie implied] modified only by Environment/NURTURE as YOU implied. But YOU got it MOST correct, becuase YOU included BOTH Nature "&" Nurture as the determinig factors of how one turnes to "BE". And BOTH "Nature" & Nurture are determind by CREATOR HIMSELF--the SOURCE of our "BE"ing.
Thus as an Indivual I more Masculine-XY than Feminine-XY Essence. And because of my Faith-Culture & Surrendering to GOD's DIRECT TEACHING because of it, FATHER CREATOR taught me about HIMSELF & HOW HE creates in this matter. Thus I have EMBRACED my Feminine Essence as one who LOVES "BE"ing a MALE, & would NOT have it ANY OTHER WAY. This makes me [& has always done so] my OWN BRAND [GOD's BRAND] or a *MAN* in the Image of GOD. The MAN-made CULTURE/SOCIETY is what causes most Gender-Dysphoria & people wanting to switch genders only to find that they want to "switch" back. Our Blessed CREATOR simply NEVER makes mis-stakes when HE orders a HUMAN-CHILD to be born. Idolatrous Humanity [Who glory in their OWN traits & seek to make OTHER conform to them] MUST REPENT of that That Turned to Self-Traits Idolatry & Learn to ACCEPT GOD's Wisdom in HIS Variety!. Others will be less UNHAPPY with WHO they REALLY ARE "at Birth" if this were to be!
As a Bi-amorous/sexual/sensual Male/Man. I say:
She [in the Video] turned HER-self into a VERY HANDSOME SEXY "WO-MAN] but she is NOT a *MAN* because she yet has the "WO" [WOMB} "of" MAN. ONLY GOD can order a MAN "or" a WoMAN.
If Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Gosling had a son.
OMG I'VE NEVER RELATED IT TO SOMEONE SO MUCH. thank you for making this
The soccer team I was part of had bonded, we were just aggressively bonded.
AS MEN DO!
You’re not gay, you’re just nice.
And, coming from a gay man myself, you are an absolutely beautiful young man.
Never change your demeanour.
Man I’m ftm also and you hit the nail on the head with everyone of these points. I’m not gay I’m just nice🤦🏾♂️gez
Cam Morrison and again 💀
I respect him for not sexualizing and objectifing women. Its about respecting and not wanting to be a creep. Since he has had experience being a women for the majority of his life, he understands how it feels to be sexualized by other straight men, directly or indirectly, he understands the feeling. Anyone who identifies as a women and or is a cis women or is ftm understand this. I have noticed straight men staring at me from a very young age. Its creepy as hell and it is so uncomfortable.
as a trans guy i relate so much. having had the perspective of living my life as a female presenting person though, i realized how much of my daily interactions were with other people honestly men being a bit sexist. the way men talk to girls vs guys is just different especially the waiter situation really reminded me. i grew up in a smaller town so... yeah. it was rough. now after coming out as trans, i'm extra careful in my interactions to not have that toxic masculinity and agressively "friendly" behavior. if you're a trans guy reading this: toxic masculinity is a huge battle for us trans guys because we feel we have to work extra hard to prove our masculinity in society, but don't let that get you down!
I’m getting on T next month and finding your channel has been incredibly important to me. I think everything mentioned really comforted me for sure!!
Aww that makes me so happy - congrats on starting T! 👏🏼💙
@@SamSwitz Just watched your video. I think you have a point that men, especially in western societies should be more friendly to each other, like they are elsewhere in the world...
But on the other hand, there's also a reason why they don't really try to get to know you and stuff when they first meet you, the way women do. And it's because it can be awkward if some random guy tries to all of a sudden find out everything about you. It's like you're becoming his dog (for want of a better word) that he wants to get to know. And most people would rather not be treated that way.
About the pat on the back thing that they do to you, I can assure you, that doesn't happen to most men at all. I guess it happens to you because of how cute you look. I'm sure everybody that does that to you sees you as a "little brother" kind of figure. So you bring out like a protective instinct in them and they're saying that they got your back.
@@SamSwitz ...or it's because you're like a cute innocent little boy, but one that's not really manned up. So the pat on the back is gonna make you jump (and it does too!). And thats funny because you can't really handle it. So they do it because they're trying to make you get over your little boyish behaviour. You're supposed to be proactively (and visibly) more manly so that a pat doesn't affect you.
And if you were visibly more manly, then they wouldn't do stuff like that anymore in the first place. Like I say, they don't do that to regular men, only cute little boys. I mean, they don't even do it to young boys that act masculine already, cos then they'd be afraid of a fist to the face. Those boys have had enough of it when they were young, so they learnt to act differently, like they can handle themselves.
...but with you, it's like you're quite boyish still and you cant handle yourself, and it's kinda obvious that you wouldn't do anything in retaliation either, so they feel comfortable doing that.
Lastly, again I agree with you that many western men are too toxic to each and are "only interested in girls". I agree that that's pathetic and they should be more open to each other and make friends easier. That way the world would be a nicer and less lonely place. Some men from other cultures are like that, but then, they're only nice like that to other men within their own culture, so that wouldn't apply to you either cos you're white. And so yeah, that's pathetic too.
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Names , Scott Newgent, Buck Angel, Chloe Cole. found on youtube
I feel like this video gives insight into the socialization of men in our society. I found it pleasant and really interesting to listen to you because you are observant, reflective and well spoken. Thanks for sharing! ☺️
Men have been saying half of these things for years, but people didn’t want to listen.
@@maxpower21cAgreed. We are shut down a lot when talking about it. I use to be very sensitive and would cry during confrontation. Starting in college, I would get very angry if a confrontation arose. There's only so much negativity and hostility from people. It felt liberating and scary to stand up to people. I've worked on my temper, but still have times where someone will say something to me in a certain and it just triggers volcano of anger thats hard to control. I'm just tired that people will tell me as a man to open up and say what I feel; but if I complain about how being a man affects my mental health and living with severe OCD and how others treat me for being a man, I'm either an oversensitive man, have a lot toxic masculinity, or told I have it good because I'm a man.
Males & Females think and behave differently in many ways. Changing your outward appearance only changes how others might perceive you, but you’re still going to be your DNA and think that way.
actually our hormones affects us a lot in how we think and our attitudes.
Wrong. Hormones literally change the brain structure of trans people when they reach the brain. Mtf people become more sensitive and open with their emotions, ftm people usually feel their emotions in a milder form but for a longer period of time. This has been reported by every single trans person on hormones in existence, mood changes, sexuality changes, behaviour changes, attitudes change, even appetite changes when someone is on hormones, and their way of thinking changes to the gender they are transitioning. It is basic chemistry. Sex hormones interact with your brain chemistry, go back to school:)
I'm really glad you mentioned that you've always gotten along better with girls even though you're male because I feel the same way and I think a common things trans guys bring up is that that they were always friends with guys rather than girls which isn't the case for me. Anyways, you seem like an awesome guy and I'm looking forward to more videos!
Aw thanks dude!! Yea there’s definitely a lot of stuff trans guys say that I don’t personally experience either. Glad this could help in that way💙
I love how honest you are and you have this positive energy :)
A man would never say that women are more advanced with communication, that's a myth women just communicate when is convenient for them. LOL that's the difference
I think I'm kind of In love with you, it's like 70% your personality 30% how gorgeous/freaking beautiful you are, you seem really really cool like I want to be friends, seriously.
As a natural born woman who is turning 50 next year..
You and the people like you are an inspiration to all true lgbt community..
My adopted son is as flamboyantly gay as you can imagine and he makes the community shine as well.
I’m no bigot, I’m part of the bdsm community.
Here’s my advice to all..
Every single day you open your eyes you have choices to make, make this one every day.
Be kind to yourself and others who bring you joy, find the beauty in mundane things and the world’s glorious treasures will make your heart feel lighter each and every day.
Always tell the ones you love/care for how much you do, you never know when yours or their last day will be..
This world needs more men like you 😭♥️
You're such a sweet guy 😊♥️
I understand that it's important for the physical body to match the mind. As a gay man, I am still being educated on transgender. However, I would love for me and my husband to be able to have children without the need for a surrogate. I wonder how can you can define the worst parts of being a man when you have functioning female body parts. In society, you want to be seen and viewed as man, with all the rights, but you can have a child (without a man). I can't. My husband can't. I apologize for my lack of understanding, but it's a work in progress.
Such a kind and gentle soul. Thank you, brother!
this whole video is just you realizing you are nothing like a man. like you still think and behave like a woman and from what you say you can't really relate to men at all.
exactly my thoughts. why did this person do this 😬
So, what I’m hearing is that men and women are clearly different. Who’d have thought…
You’re gorgeous, very good looking, and attractive. Attraction is physical, emotional, and some times totally blind. I consider myself pan sexual, I’m attracted to attractive people (they should give off the right vibes). I see how you can confuse gaydar… stay beautiful.
I literally clicked on the video because you look A LOT like Jake gyllenhaal in the thumbnail and then stayed for the content because you're so charming and lovely. Love your vibe:)
You don't think like a man because you aren't one. Feel free to do the best Impersonation of a man that you can, but understand that others are not required to go along with that delusion.
How does one think like a guy???
I'm a guy(hardly lmao) and even I don't know what the hell a guy thinks like.
@TLRT9 ask her. I'm responding to what she said about not thinking like a man.
@@M.Rollins20 It's natural for you obviously like how there's no way for you to know what it's like to be a woman.
The sexist generalizations by this individual is laughable, if not offensive.
The pure love in his eyes as he stared at that dog was so sweet.
I don't doubt he loves his dog but that behaviour is the same as the men who use their dogs/kids to get chicks at parks.
This basically was 10 minutes of "im not a guy"
Incorrect. This was precisely a video explaining how he is not an inconsiderate douchebag. Most emotionally unhealthy people-- males and females-- behave in the manner he detailed. It's more acceptable within society for males to behave this way, but it's not healthy.
That's right gets along with females better because is a female
All I can say is WOW!!! You are just absolutely GORGEOUS!!!❤❤❤
You spent the entire video saying you don’t feel like a man or think like a man and then explained how when you presented as female you thought you were a man.
Women confuse their subjective feelings with objective reality.
Bruh what did you expect? Did you not think of all of this before you transitioned. It's a very very lonely life being a guy.
It's not like we can choose. Either we transition or we're uncomfortable like really uncomfortable in our body for our whole lives and that's not really an option.
When I would go to concerts, the stalls in the men's room usually either don't have a door or the one or two stalls they do have are taken. I've had a few awkward instances where I just had to walk in and walk out without using the bathroom and it's always nerve-wracking.
all these "cons" about being a guy are actually all things guys enjoy.
The genetic history of men - '5 or 6 of you hide quietly in those bushes by the river - when something big enough to feed us comes by for a drink, jump out and pelt it with rocks and sticks until it (or you) are dead. If you don't all jump out the same time, some of you will die.. ok...GO!" Women - "coordinate and organize everything else - GO!" Different relationship dynamic.
😬 XD
@@occhams1
The "Men vs Women" episodes of Bear Grylls' "The Island" proved this to be incorrect.
The women complained about the conditions, argued amongst each other, and were generally unproductive (to the point they would have starved or died of sickness if they hadn't been leeching off the men) while the men effectively built a sustainable habitat through efficient planning and concise direction... which the women repeatedly exploited instead of coordinating and organizing for themselves.
Yes, there is a different social dynamic but your example is backwards.
This is what happens when you have no experience or even clue what living a certain way entails but still choose to not only pretend to adopt it but also judge it harshly as an outsider. It's almost blackface.
Wait! you dont think like a guy?
See there's a lot of things to "living as a man" that people don't consider. Not everyone needs to "transition".
that's a "very" "interesting" "point"
what are you even saying?
This is so wholesome 💛 we are all just people, we all want respect.