Sometimes, depression comes when you finally feel safe. It's like your body decides to purge all the trauma when it feels safe to do so. You are going through a very normal thing, and it's best not to shame yourself for having authentic feelings. Feeling sad because you went through a hard thing is actually healthy and normal. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be cherished and loved. 👑❤️💪🏻
im a much older woman and i’ve loved watching you grow and evolve and now learning to find pleasure in things like buying a lawn mower! You help me find style and now your more relatable to me with owning your home and taking about mental health is absolutely so enriching! your struggles are everything i went thru in my 30’s . your doing exceptionally well even when you don’t feel like you are.
I like your clothing hauls but I LOVE your vlog videos more! I love seeing you in your element. Don’t ever feel like you have to continue with what you started with. People evolve 😊 and I love your channel. Keep the vlogs coming please and thank you 😊
I never heard of "when you finally feel comfortable in your life, sometimes depression/trauma/anxiety comes out when you fully feel comfortable (I understand now because I'm currently going through those feels) I totally get how your feeling! Love you ❤🥰🤗
Oh wow, I haven’t watched any of your videos in probably more than a year. I just watched this video and I have to say… I’m loving your new vibe….not everyone evolves in the right direction. You are adulting and taking pride in the ownership of your space…and that’s awesome, it’s a great feeling and more people should experience this no matter where they are in life. Taking good care of your home, your garden, your pets, your patio…. It’s what builds your energy strong and balance. ✨✨✨✨✨
Things and stuff become so overwhelming! What's New becomes old very quickly and there is always something New so its like a never ending cycle. Glad you are feeling better 😘😘
The fact that your admitting these things is amazing!!! Good for you for having these awakenings!! ❤ such an important message, every UA-camr should watch this!!!
Omg, I’ve rarely comment but as a woman who is older than you, and was so codependent when I was younger, especially with boyfriends, your explanation of your previous relationships vs who you are now, was so impressive. Your level of self awareness is amazing. I love the line, “he adds to my life, he’s isn’t my life.” Yes, girl you get it. 👍 P.S it isn’t you creating a first world problem, to think about what you want to create that makes you happy vs what does good on your channel. It gets hard, when you grow and you want to continue to provide for yourself, while remaining true to yourself. Most influencers go thru this.
I can absolutely relate to what you were saying. I’m a school social worker and even though I love my job and it is very fulfilling, I think the stress of everything caused me to shop and over-consume. It’s definitely helped focusing on other things I enjoy like cooking, yoga, reading, and spending time outside instead of just shopping everyday 😂
Glad you’re feeling better💗 would love if you would do more vlogs esp on the “boring” days, and to also show more of what you actually eat and your coffee recipes💖
Depression is not sadness, its totally chemical and/or spiritual. Sometimes it comes from spiritual growth and maturity. I fight through it though counting your blessings and accepting its okay to be bored, empty, or tired. That's what getting older feels like LOL. Accepting that you accomplished a lot and can no longer be distracted by shopping and frivolous things. Playing like a kid believe it or not, it matters. Wishing you happiness and deeper fulfillment.
@@veronicaperez-rx5ef Depression isn't only sadness but it can also be anger, stubborness, illness, lack of concentration, anxiousness, fatigue. Its CHEMICAL and can be treated. And yes, spirituality can help as it counteracts the down days with a different source of positive energy.
We all go through this tribulation or hiccup in life. You may be burnt out. Know it is okay to take a break & realign yourself. I have found that when feeling off, being in nature helps, like grounding and being amongst mother nature. Praying daily as well. But know it is okay to take time to yourself.
Thank you for opening up about what you have been going through! If it makes you feel better, your hauls have been helpful in helping me figure out my personal style, especially because it's hard to gauge what looks good on petites. 💓 Also your home looks amazing!
Hang in there girl. Depression and anxiety is such a real thing and I swear no one understands until they experience it themselves. I also wouldn’t feel bad for expressing the emptiness of buying things and trying to fill voids. It’s such a thing that so many people struggle with and no one talks about! Good for you for stepping up and sharing your feelings for not only us but for yourself 🥹 Always love your content and this just really validates how human we all are. We all struggle!❤️
Thanks for sharing Toni, I can’t imagine that it’s easy to be so vulnerable on the internet. LOVED your back yard! I’ve had a copper IUD for over 12 years, switched out once. Removing it was horrible but it’s such a good way to ensure no unplanned pregnancies. That is horrible that your doctor will not remove it! I totally agree that you should be able to at any moment remove it. You should just tell them your going to try with your spouse and I’m sure it’ll be a completely different conversation 🤣
Thank you Toni for opening up about what you’ve been going through. I know it’s not easy opening up and being so vulnerable. I hope you know that we would understand whenever you need a break-no matter the reason. Your health and mental health will always be the most important thing 🫶🙏🩷
That’s the thing about emotions. Unfortunately you have to do your best and know that it will pass. You have to let the emotions move through you, and know that it is temporary. You did the right thing by keeping a schedule and a plan. Love you Toni, and wish you the best ❤
I genuinely enjoy your videos. Thank you for sharing what's been going and how you're feeling. 💗💗I've been feeling the same and decluttering A LOT. I've been putting my money towards experiences and bettering things in my life I'm not happy with. It's been helpful to me instead of collecting things which I did to cope.
I know this video will bring you such relief just to get it out there.. you are wonderful and a lot of us are here for you not just the content or hauls 💗💗
Love hearing you opening up! I have been down the same road with clothes bringing me happiness and getting to a point where it stopped. It’s part of growing up. It’s so eye opening to see how buying can just fill a hole for us. I would buy stuff to make my day better while I hated my life and it just wasn’t healthy and it was only momentarily and then I had too much clothes. I gave so many things away and it made me realize I rather use the money to travel since that makes me happier and to buy items that I really want not just buying to buy
It's so nice to hear you open up and speak your truth Toni! I think so many people also feel like they are lost or have gotten lost in their relationships. It's so common that people cater so much to their partner that they forget the importance of catering to themselves as well. It's so inspiring that you were able to come out of that relationship, find yourself, and truly THRIVE! You should be so proud of yourself!!!!
Just wanted to say thank you for being raw and open about your feelings and journey, and glad you’re feeling more like yourself! Also, some ideas for fashion content: I have always enjoyed your hauls but what I liked more was the styling potion, so maybe some ways you can continue to make videos while still staying true to yourself is embracing the slow fashion lifestyle. You can focus more on shopping your closet and how to style certain pieces in different ways. Doing your own take on trends that are happening or even recreating looks from Pinterest or celebrities. Of course you can continue doing hauls, but this way you can still put out fashion content without it having to be about buying new items. ❤
I actually really like the girl talk Toni! Makes me feel like I’m not alone. Everybody is different, dealing with hormones/birth control, I totally understand how hard it is to find a place to get a bc device removed, when I had Nexplanon I had horrible side effects and really bad depression. Thanks for opening up!
I’m the same with buying things to fill the void. I’m working through it with my therapist but coming to the realization by yourself is growth. Thanks for opening up about this because it’s very vulnerable! Love you 💕
Montreal library card gives you access to English books and magazines for free! Love it!! Only thing is you have to go back every 2 years-I believe to renew.
Toni, I appreciate you being honest! But, please hear me! I am someone who just genuinely enjoys watching you and hearing about your day to day things. I am not big into fashion, I work from home so really don’t need a lot of outfits so I don’t watch you for those things. I always feel like you are a close friend talking about the things that go on in your life and I think you are so funny and sweet! I am excited to see where your channel will go! ❤ best wishes and here is to happiness in all things!
Thank you for opening up. I watch every single video you post and love ALL of them. To see you open up like this is refreshing. That we aren’t alone and not everything is always great. We support and love you!!! Please remember we are here for you as well!! Sending all my love and prayers.
Ladies! My doctor before he gave me an iud he said ok, first thing, if you want your iud out, you get it out. If I put it in today and you decide you want it out tomorrow it comes out. Before you get an iud blatantly ask them out getting it removed and what there “rules” are. It is your body and you are paying them, not the other way around. I got mine out later because I hated being on bc but I got it out no questions about it. Thanks Toni for bringing this up because it is a medical issue we don’t talk about
just wanted to say that i absolutely love watching your videos. i’m a sahm mom of three but love fashion and home decor. watching your videos brings me back to before i had kids and i love your car vlogs, and “come w me” vids. i felt sad when you said everyone just likes your haul videos cause, i feel like we just like any videos you post. your subscribers are subscribed because we like you! I feel like we’re virtual friends even though you don’t know me. i hope you continue to be lifted up and inspired! 🤍
Hi Toni, ily! Thank you for opening up to us. You're not crazy and do not sound crazy! What you're describing with your previous relationships is 100% codependency, which can be an extremely toxic thing and a lot of people experience it, whether in an intimate relationship, friendship or with family members. I'm glad you were able to break away from that and are now in a happy relationship!
Hi Toni, I love watching you change is sometimes whats needed and is sometimes better than expected. I personally watch your vlogs more than your haul videos. Like you mentioned my body is more plus size/curvy so your hauls don't resonate with me because I know it wouldn't look like that on my body so seeing more of your vlogs or favorite videos or random videos might be a nice change too!
Hi Toni; i was curious….. if you are willing and ready, can you talk about the mistakes and lessons learned from your past relationships? Only if you are ready. If not or if it makes you uncomfortable of course don’t…thank you Toni
No lie, The Little Mermaid's song "Part of Your World" is what resonates with me when I get into depression mode. It's not about the cool stuff you have, it's about something more that you want. Find out what that thing is that's missing in your life, and get it. Step out of your shell/comfort zone and do something different that you normally wouldn't experience. Go kayaking or skydiving, just try to find joy in life through different means. And bring the camera with you because we want to join you 😄 I hope you feel a little better after speaking out your feelings. You're not alone.
Ahhh Toni! Last week, I completely shut down and I couldn’t even try to explain why so I totally know how you feel. No matter how much I tried to think positive and tell myself I’m okay I had to just let the feelings ride out til I could get out if bed. It’s so crazy. I’ve never in my life felt like that. I hope you feel better!
You are so amazing Toni! I love your honesty and your willingness to be open and vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your struggles and reminding people that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. You are literally my fave 🫶🏼
The hedge will soften and frame the patio, perfect! It anchors and sets the whole garden x Had to add I am so impressed with you doing your bedroom panelling and now your garden work!!💪
I am sorry you were feeling that way, but I am glad you are coming out of that bad rush. We miss ypu content and need more vlogs!! Also i love your new patio!
I have just started following you and love your hauls, but i also love this honest sit down chat alot of women could relate to how you where feeling and to be so strong to talk about this publically is inspiring and you should be proud, your amazing 💜
thank you for your honesty and for showing your real self Angel ❤ I hope sharing this liberates you and know that sooo many, including me, needed to hear your words from this video. Xo
Good for you, I am so glad to hear that you were proactive at finding a doctor that would do what you were asking and it was not an unreasonable request, I just get so frustrated for fellow women, why must we still struggle and continue to go through somethings, so frustrating. The grass is looking amazing, I love gardening so I am in complete understanding of what brings you joy this time of our life, it's just small shifts that happen. Take care
Honestly, thank you for opening up. I can totally relate, you're not alone. Take some time to be kind to yourself and do what you love, for yourself. It doesn't matter if doing "hauls" and buying all these materialistic stuff for yourself is not what makes you happy anymore. It's normal and quite refreshing too, to see you moving to do it for your viewers, for your content, into styling. Be kind to yourself. Maybe in the past what fully made you happy was buying and doing content with it, it's fine that it's not your key passion anymore. Just ensure you're doing other things that bring you happiness. Depression is the worse but as you work on yourself you will find the light at the end of the tunnel (no matter how cliche that sounds)
Pierrefonds and pointe Claire libraries have a huge collection of English books. You can even have books sent to your location if it’s not available. Audio books are also available!
Toni I felt the realness of this video and all the emotions lol you’re a tough cookie! Do what feels right to you, you can never go wrong this way! Also, the backyard….wow! Love it!
Toni I work for an OB GYNE you should remove your IUD when ever you want! We have patients with problems all the time and we do removed ASAP, we do what the patient wants that's the way it works! Unless you're GYNE is not good and I have been working with them for 30 years! Tell them it's your body and you want it out and they have to and you will feel much better! Love your backyard it looks amazing you are beautiful smart and loving all the best Toni from your Ontario Canada friend ❤
I relate to you SO much, especially when you were talking about your last relationship and what you wanted when you came out of it. Literally, word for word. So happy for you, just know that your videos bring me and so many others so much peace and joy so continue doing what you love xo
Hehe I’m just a couple years older than you and I’m like yay she is entering her outdoor gardening phase! I love all the patio details. Just an idea but maybe an arborvitae hedge would be nice along the back so your neighbors can’t see you in your yard.
So sorry you’re going through that. I can totally relate and something I would urge you to do is get professional help no matter how small or big you think you anxiety is. Wondering why you feel this way will send you on a downward spiral! I hope you feel better soon xoxo
Thank you for Sharing your story! You are a beautiful person and inspiring to lots of people. Thank you .. I love love what your doing in the yard! I love your stunning home as well…
Toni, thank you for sharing that with us. It sounds like you have gained a lot of self awareness and have matured a lot by your last relationship. Sometimes we tend to put our jobs and others first, instead of ourselves. Remember to take time for yourself! Chin up beautiful! 🩷🫶🏼
Totally can relate. The rush and joy of shopping in the beginning but then I feel bad when I see all the clutter. I feel even worse when I don't use the items and I just like having it. I think this is quite common. 😕 Really trying to wait to invest in better quality pieces and not buy just to buy. I put more thought into my purchases now. Thank you for sharing.
It is often that people confuse these feelings with anxiety and depression. It is the Lord pulling you in saying come to me, none of this matters. He wants to be your Joy. There is nothing better than His Joy. I highly encourage you to try prayer and reading the bible, especially when you feel this way. Praise God that you are His. God bless you. ❤
Thanks so much for your transparency! I truly understand how you feel and I am much older than you. 😂 Also love your backyard. It's so beautiful, I love the way you did the patio. ❤
Toni, you are such a genuinely sweet person! I really enjoy your channel and you bring us all joy! Always remember what an amazing human being you are! Much love, Robin xo
thank you for sharing it truly helps me work on myself and better myself by listening to your struggles since they help me identify mine. I just got out of a relationship and ive been so comfortable with him for 3 years that i truly don't know how to be alone anymore and enjoy being independent. If you can talk more about this topic i'd love to hear your thoughts on your journey. Lots of love from Vancouver :)
Tony you’re so amazing. I love your content. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and including real life stages that you go thru. You’re such a wonderful soul. Im glad you’re feeling better and pushed thru the trying periods of life. Life was asking you to slow down and I’m so glad you honored yourself. 🙏🏼❌⭕️
What you’re describing was exactly how I felt on hormonal contraception. Especially the out of body part. And it would enhance any anxiety or sadness I normally would feel to a level that made me feel like a different person, not myself.
Toni check out if Saturn is transiting your Moon sign, that is usually a tough period out of the blue. It can be Saturn aspecting the Moon. OR you are having a Saturn return. If you give me your bday I will have a look right away and let you know.
Thank you for talking about your IUD journey. They make it sound like IUDs are so wonderful, yet they are so dangerous. I had an IUD for almost 3 years and it affected my health immensely. Some of the side effects were deep deep depression, hair loss (I’m talking bald spots) bloating and constant pain. Doctors wouldn’t listen to my concerns about it, they always said it was other things like stress or my diet. I also struggled to find a doctor who would remove it. I always try to caution other women of the dangers of IUDs. Not enough real information is out there about the risks of birth control on women’s health. I’m celebrating 3 years without the IUD this summer and I have never felt better!
Thank you for opening up. I can't speak for everyone but I've been following you for a while and truly watch for your personality and who you are so even if you stopped hauls I would still love your videos. I actually enjoy your other videos now over your hauls it's like I'm growing with you and we are in the same stages of life so I love the vlogs chit chats and home videos xo
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of growth Toni! We don’t need the constant hauls tbh (not in this economy lol). Love to see the vlogs too - even if it’s just your day to day (as much as your comfortable showing) Would love to see fashion content related to getting creative with what’s already in your closet 💗
Thank you so much for talking about mental health. I myself have been struggling with major anxiety. And it’s good to know that we are not alone and many people go through this. This is not a permanent stage, and it’s totally ok to get help. This too shall pass. Sending you well wishes XO 💓
I honestly feel like that is why I didn't get into a serious relationship until I was 25, I just wasn't willing to lose my identity and I feel like you have to be able to stand on your own and have your own thing going
Oh my dear. It's called getting older. You realize life is about living, experiences, your friends and family and helping people. You are leveling up. Don't let it scare you. ❤
U cld def do a vlog on no buy and how it going etc I agree w tht buying things helps escape issues like tht but now u can see how it doesn’t actually.. now tht ur able to step back. I dnt watch you for hauls.. i enjoy your vlogs. Amazing that u made urself learn who u r.. i feel like i need that
I’m going through a similar situation with my iud!! I have the copper and have wanted it out for months but my string isn’t visible so I’ve endured an extremely painful attempt to remove it and now I’ll be seeing another doctor but I’ve been literally begging for pain management and it seems like they don’t sympathize at all. So frustrating it seems like doctors are pushing bc even when patients don’t react well.
Sometimes, depression comes when you finally feel safe. It's like your body decides to purge all the trauma when it feels safe to do so. You are going through a very normal thing, and it's best not to shame yourself for having authentic feelings. Feeling sad because you went through a hard thing is actually healthy and normal. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be cherished and loved. 👑❤️💪🏻
Very well said Jenny 👏😊
Birth control implants can also trigger depression :(
im a much older woman and i’ve loved watching you grow and evolve and now learning to find pleasure in things like buying a lawn mower! You help me find style and now your more relatable to me with owning your home and taking about mental health is absolutely so enriching! your struggles are everything i went thru in my 30’s . your doing exceptionally well even when you don’t feel like you are.
I like your clothing hauls but I LOVE your vlog videos more! I love seeing you in your element. Don’t ever feel like you have to continue with what you started with. People evolve 😊 and I love your channel. Keep the vlogs coming please and thank you 😊
I never heard of "when you finally feel comfortable in your life, sometimes depression/trauma/anxiety comes out when you fully feel comfortable (I understand now because I'm currently going through those feels) I totally get how your feeling! Love you ❤🥰🤗
Oh wow, I haven’t watched any of your videos in probably more than a year. I just watched this video and I have to say… I’m loving your new vibe….not everyone evolves in the right direction. You are adulting and taking pride in the ownership of your space…and that’s awesome, it’s a great feeling and more people should experience this no matter where they are in life. Taking good care of your home, your garden, your pets, your patio…. It’s what builds your energy strong and balance. ✨✨✨✨✨
Loving the checkered patio with added hedges! So elegant!
Things and stuff become so overwhelming! What's New becomes old very quickly and there is always something New so its like a never ending cycle. Glad you are feeling better 😘😘
The fact that your admitting these things is amazing!!! Good for you for having these awakenings!! ❤ such an important message, every UA-camr should watch this!!!
Omg, I’ve rarely comment but as a woman who is older than you, and was so codependent when I was younger, especially with boyfriends, your explanation of your previous relationships vs who you are now, was so impressive. Your level of self awareness is amazing.
I love the line, “he adds to my life, he’s isn’t my life.” Yes, girl you get it. 👍
P.S it isn’t you creating a first world problem, to think about what you want to create that makes you happy vs what does good on your channel. It gets hard, when you grow and you want to continue to provide for yourself, while remaining true to yourself. Most influencers go thru this.
Love the fact that you share with us when you're not feeling too great. Because we can relate to you more. Your home is beautiful.
I can absolutely relate to what you were saying. I’m a school social worker and even though I love my job and it is very fulfilling, I think the stress of everything caused me to shop and over-consume. It’s definitely helped focusing on other things I enjoy like cooking, yoga, reading, and spending time outside instead of just shopping everyday 😂
Glad you’re feeling better💗 would love if you would do more vlogs esp on the “boring” days, and to also show more of what you actually eat and your coffee recipes💖
Depression is not sadness, its totally chemical and/or spiritual. Sometimes it comes from spiritual growth and maturity. I fight through it though counting your blessings and accepting its okay to be bored, empty, or tired. That's what getting older feels like LOL. Accepting that you accomplished a lot and can no longer be distracted by shopping and frivolous things. Playing like a kid believe it or not, it matters. Wishing you happiness and deeper fulfillment.
That’s tough telling somome who has depression to count their blessing. You can feel blessed and be depressed. Depression is sadness.
@@veronicaperez-rx5ef Depression isn't only sadness but it can also be anger, stubborness, illness, lack of concentration, anxiousness, fatigue. Its CHEMICAL and can be treated. And yes, spirituality can help as it counteracts the down days with a different source of positive energy.
Thank you Toni for telling us about your struggles. Alot of us have been there regarding buying things to bring joy. Love you!! 💕
Love you more 💕💕
We all go through this tribulation or hiccup in life. You may be burnt out. Know it is okay to take a break & realign yourself. I have found that when feeling off, being in nature helps, like grounding and being amongst mother nature. Praying daily as well. But know it is okay to take time to yourself.
Thank you for opening up about what you have been going through! If it makes you feel better, your hauls have been helpful in helping me figure out my personal style, especially because it's hard to gauge what looks good on petites. 💓 Also your home looks amazing!
I’ve never heard of audible stopping you from listening to more books?! Let the gal listen 🎧!! It’s inspiring
Hang in there girl. Depression and anxiety is such a real thing and I swear no one understands until they experience it themselves.
I also wouldn’t feel bad for expressing the emptiness of buying things and trying to fill voids. It’s such a thing that so many people struggle with and no one talks about! Good for you for stepping up and sharing your feelings for not only us but for yourself 🥹
Always love your content and this just really validates how human we all are. We all struggle!❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. I thought that it was just me. Its the things that money cant buy. So proud of you. Peace comes from God
You are sooooo sweet ... we all go through ups and downs, we're all just happy you've bounced back! Never feel bad about how you feel!!
the checkered patio with hedges around it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland for some reason :D
Beautiful backyard. Great job Toni
Thanks for sharing Toni, I can’t imagine that it’s easy to be so vulnerable on the internet. LOVED your back yard!
I’ve had a copper IUD for over 12 years, switched out once. Removing it was horrible but it’s such a good way to ensure no unplanned pregnancies. That is horrible that your doctor will not remove it! I totally agree that you should be able to at any moment remove it. You should just tell them your going to try with your spouse and I’m sure it’ll be a completely different conversation 🤣
Thank you Toni for opening up about what you’ve been going through. I know it’s not easy opening up and being so vulnerable. I hope you know that we would understand whenever you need a break-no matter the reason. Your health and mental health will always be the most important thing 🫶🙏🩷
That’s the thing about emotions. Unfortunately you have to do your best and know that it will pass. You have to let the emotions move through you, and know that it is temporary. You did the right thing by keeping a schedule and a plan. Love you Toni, and wish you the best ❤
I genuinely enjoy your videos. Thank you for sharing what's been going and how you're feeling. 💗💗I've been feeling the same and decluttering A LOT. I've been putting my money towards experiences and bettering things in my life I'm not happy with. It's been helpful to me instead of collecting things which I did to cope.
I know this video will bring you such relief just to get it out there.. you are wonderful and a lot of us are here for you not just the content or hauls 💗💗
Love hearing you opening up! I have been down the same road with clothes bringing me happiness and getting to a point where it stopped. It’s part of growing up. It’s so eye opening to see how buying can just fill a hole for us. I would buy stuff to make my day better while I hated my life and it just wasn’t healthy and it was only momentarily and then I had too much clothes. I gave so many things away and it made me realize I rather use the money to travel since that makes me happier and to buy items that I really want not just buying to buy
It's so nice to hear you open up and speak your truth Toni! I think so many people also feel like they are lost or have gotten lost in their relationships. It's so common that people cater so much to their partner that they forget the importance of catering to themselves as well. It's so inspiring that you were able to come out of that relationship, find yourself, and truly THRIVE! You should be so proud of yourself!!!!
Thank you so much 🤍 xoxoxo
Just wanted to say thank you for being raw and open about your feelings and journey, and glad you’re feeling more like yourself!
Also, some ideas for fashion content: I have always enjoyed your hauls but what I liked more was the styling potion, so maybe some ways you can continue to make videos while still staying true to yourself is embracing the slow fashion lifestyle. You can focus more on shopping your closet and how to style certain pieces in different ways. Doing your own take on trends that are happening or even recreating looks from Pinterest or celebrities. Of course you can continue doing hauls, but this way you can still put out fashion content without it having to be about buying new items. ❤
I actually really like the girl talk Toni! Makes me feel like I’m not alone. Everybody is different, dealing with hormones/birth control, I totally understand how hard it is to find a place to get a bc device removed, when I had Nexplanon I had horrible side effects and really bad depression. Thanks for opening up!
I’m the same with buying things to fill the void. I’m working through it with my therapist but coming to the realization by yourself is growth. Thanks for opening up about this because it’s very vulnerable! Love you 💕
That patio is exquisite! Good job sister ♥️
Montreal library card gives you access to English books and magazines for free!
Love it!! Only thing is you have to go back every 2 years-I believe to renew.
so much love & respect for you Toni, been here since lockdown and have been so inspired by you throughout the worst times. so happy to see you grow
Toni, I appreciate you being honest! But, please hear me! I am someone who just genuinely enjoys watching you and hearing about your day to day things. I am not big into fashion, I work from home so really don’t need a lot of outfits so I don’t watch you for those things. I always feel like you are a close friend talking about the things that go on in your life and I think you are so funny and sweet! I am excited to see where your channel will go! ❤ best wishes and here is to happiness in all things!
Your patio looks AMAZING! ❤
Thank you so much I’m so happy ❤️
Sharing your real feelings is never complaining.
I have been feeling the same. Glad you are feeling better ❤
Thank you for opening up. I watch every single video you post and love ALL of them. To see you open up like this is refreshing. That we aren’t alone and not everything is always great. We support and love you!!! Please remember we are here for you as well!! Sending all my love and prayers.
Thank you so much for watching all of my videos. That means the world to me xo
I found you during covid and those vlogs were my favourite videos of yours. The recipes, food hauls, diy’s and chit chats were so fun.
Ladies! My doctor before he gave me an iud he said ok, first thing, if you want your iud out, you get it out. If I put it in today and you decide you want it out tomorrow it comes out. Before you get an iud blatantly ask them out getting it removed and what there “rules” are. It is your body and you are paying them, not the other way around. I got mine out later because I hated being on bc but I got it out no questions about it. Thanks Toni for bringing this up because it is a medical issue we don’t talk about
You have helped me a ton with style and fashion. You are actually my inspiration 🥰 so thank you for what you do.
just wanted to say that i absolutely love watching your videos. i’m a sahm mom of three but love fashion and home decor. watching your videos brings me back to before i had kids and i love your car vlogs, and “come w me” vids. i felt sad when you said everyone just likes your haul videos cause, i feel like we just like any videos you post. your subscribers are subscribed because we like you! I feel like we’re virtual friends even though you don’t know me. i hope you continue to be lifted up and inspired! 🤍
Hi Toni, ily! Thank you for opening up to us. You're not crazy and do not sound crazy! What you're describing with your previous relationships is 100% codependency, which can be an extremely toxic thing and a lot of people experience it, whether in an intimate relationship, friendship or with family members. I'm glad you were able to break away from that and are now in a happy relationship!
I got an electric lawnmower and love to mow my lawn. It’s so relaxing and you can hear the birds singing.
Yes! Lawn mower and landscaping content pls! Hahaha
Hi Toni,
I love watching you change is sometimes whats needed and is sometimes better than expected. I personally watch your vlogs more than your haul videos. Like you mentioned my body is more plus size/curvy so your hauls don't resonate with me because I know it wouldn't look like that on my body so seeing more of your vlogs or favorite videos or random videos might be a nice change too!
Hi Toni; i was curious….. if you are willing and ready, can you talk about the mistakes and lessons learned from your past relationships? Only if you are ready. If not or if it makes you uncomfortable of course don’t…thank you Toni
I'm so glad you're starting to feel better! I get so happy when you post and am so appreciative of how hard you work to help others feel better.
Thank you so much 🤍
No lie, The Little Mermaid's song "Part of Your World" is what resonates with me when I get into depression mode. It's not about the cool stuff you have, it's about something more that you want. Find out what that thing is that's missing in your life, and get it. Step out of your shell/comfort zone and do something different that you normally wouldn't experience. Go kayaking or skydiving, just try to find joy in life through different means. And bring the camera with you because we want to join you 😄
I hope you feel a little better after speaking out your feelings. You're not alone.
Ahhh Toni! Last week, I completely shut down and I couldn’t even try to explain why so I totally know how you feel. No matter how much I tried to think positive and tell myself I’m okay I had to just let the feelings ride out til I could get out if bed. It’s so crazy. I’ve never in my life felt like that. I hope you feel better!
I’m here for the home updates!! I love the checkered patio and gardening vlog 💜
You are so amazing Toni! I love your honesty and your willingness to be open and vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your struggles and reminding people that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. You are literally my fave 🫶🏼
You are having an awakening Toni, go through the motions, it's all okay. You will rebuild yourself internally. Much love to you💖💖💖
The hedge will soften and frame the patio, perfect! It anchors and sets the whole garden x Had to add I am so impressed with you doing your bedroom panelling and now your garden work!!💪
I am sorry you were feeling that way, but I am glad you are coming out of that bad rush. We miss ypu content and need more vlogs!! Also i love your new patio!
I live in Quebec and my library has a lot of English books!
I have just started following you and love your hauls, but i also love this honest sit down chat alot of women could relate to how you where feeling and to be so strong to talk about this publically is inspiring and you should be proud, your amazing 💜
thank you for your honesty and for showing your real self Angel ❤ I hope sharing this liberates you and know that sooo many, including me, needed to hear your words from this video. Xo
It's the lawn mower chat at the end for me! Love you Toni!!!! xoxo
Good for you, I am so glad to hear that you were proactive at finding a doctor that would do what you were asking and it was not an unreasonable request, I just get so frustrated for fellow women, why must we still struggle and continue to go through somethings, so frustrating. The grass is looking amazing, I love gardening so I am in complete understanding of what brings you joy this time of our life, it's just small shifts that happen. Take care
Honestly, thank you for opening up. I can totally relate, you're not alone. Take some time to be kind to yourself and do what you love, for yourself. It doesn't matter if doing "hauls" and buying all these materialistic stuff for yourself is not what makes you happy anymore. It's normal and quite refreshing too, to see you moving to do it for your viewers, for your content, into styling. Be kind to yourself. Maybe in the past what fully made you happy was buying and doing content with it, it's fine that it's not your key passion anymore. Just ensure you're doing other things that bring you happiness. Depression is the worse but as you work on yourself you will find the light at the end of the tunnel (no matter how cliche that sounds)
Pierrefonds and pointe Claire libraries have a huge collection of English books. You can even have books sent to your location if it’s not available. Audio books are also available!
I think that is so sweet of you that you want to help everyone thankyou Toni I truly appreciate your content 💕
Toni I felt the realness of this video and all the emotions lol you’re a tough cookie! Do what feels right to you, you can never go wrong this way! Also, the backyard….wow! Love it!
Toni I work for an OB GYNE you should remove your IUD when ever you want! We have patients with problems all the time and we do removed ASAP, we do what the patient wants that's the way it works! Unless you're GYNE is not good and I have been working with them for 30 years! Tell them it's your body and you want it out and they have to and you will feel much better! Love your backyard it looks amazing you are beautiful smart and loving all the best Toni from your Ontario Canada friend ❤
I relate to you SO much, especially when you were talking about your last relationship and what you wanted when you came out of it. Literally, word for word. So happy for you, just know that your videos bring me and so many others so much peace and joy so continue doing what you love xo
I hope you are feeling better Toni! ❤ the patio looks beautiful 😍
Hehe I’m just a couple years older than you and I’m like yay she is entering her outdoor gardening phase! I love all the patio details. Just an idea but maybe an arborvitae hedge would be nice along the back so your neighbors can’t see you in your yard.
So sorry you’re going through that. I can totally relate and something I would urge you to do is get professional help no matter how small or big you think you anxiety is. Wondering why you feel this way will send you on a downward spiral! I hope you feel better soon xoxo
Thank you for Sharing your story! You are a beautiful person and inspiring to lots of people. Thank you .. I love love what your doing in the yard! I love your stunning home as well…
Toni, thank you for sharing that with us. It sounds like you have gained a lot of self awareness and have matured a lot by your last relationship. Sometimes we tend to put our jobs and others first, instead of ourselves. Remember to take time for yourself! Chin up beautiful! 🩷🫶🏼
Totally can relate. The rush and joy of shopping in the beginning but then I feel bad when I see all the clutter. I feel even worse when I don't use the items and I just like having it. I think this is quite common. 😕 Really trying to wait to invest in better quality pieces and not buy just to buy. I put more thought into my purchases now. Thank you for sharing.
It is often that people confuse these feelings with anxiety and depression. It is the Lord pulling you in saying come to me, none of this matters. He wants to be your Joy. There is nothing better than His Joy. I highly encourage you to try prayer and reading the bible, especially when you feel this way. Praise God that you are His. God bless you. ❤
Thanks so much for your transparency! I truly understand how you feel and I am much older than you. 😂 Also love your backyard. It's so beautiful, I love the way you did the patio. ❤
Toni, you are such a genuinely sweet person! I really enjoy your channel and you bring us all joy! Always remember what an amazing human being you are! Much love, Robin xo
thank you for sharing it truly helps me work on myself and better myself by listening to your struggles since they help me identify mine. I just got out of a relationship and ive been so comfortable with him for 3 years that i truly don't know how to be alone anymore and enjoy being independent. If you can talk more about this topic i'd love to hear your thoughts on your journey. Lots of love from Vancouver :)
Tony you’re so amazing. I love your content.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and including real life stages that you go thru. You’re such a wonderful soul. Im glad you’re feeling better and pushed thru the trying periods of life. Life was asking you to slow down and I’m so glad you honored yourself. 🙏🏼❌⭕️
You’re one of the reasons I started my own channel!!! Love your videos, they inspire me! Xo
What you’re describing was exactly how I felt on hormonal contraception. Especially the out of body part. And it would enhance any anxiety or sadness I normally would feel to a level that made me feel like a different person, not myself.
Toni check out if Saturn is transiting your Moon sign, that is usually a tough period out of the blue. It can be Saturn aspecting the Moon. OR you are having a Saturn return. If you give me your bday I will have a look right away and let you know.
Thank you for talking about your IUD journey. They make it sound like IUDs are so wonderful, yet they are so dangerous. I had an IUD for almost 3 years and it affected my health immensely. Some of the side effects were deep deep depression, hair loss (I’m talking bald spots) bloating and constant pain. Doctors wouldn’t listen to my concerns about it, they always said it was other things like stress or my diet. I also struggled to find a doctor who would remove it. I always try to caution other women of the dangers of IUDs. Not enough real information is out there about the risks of birth control on women’s health. I’m celebrating 3 years without the IUD this summer and I have never felt better!
Thank you for opening up. I can't speak for everyone but I've been following you for a while and truly watch for your personality and who you are so even if you stopped hauls I would still love your videos. I actually enjoy your other videos now over your hauls it's like I'm growing with you and we are in the same stages of life so I love the vlogs chit chats and home videos xo
Love youuuu
No matter what video you do I will watch, I love watching you for you! No matter what you post 🥰 I can relate to this so much
Thank you so much 🤍
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of growth Toni! We don’t need the constant hauls tbh (not in this economy lol). Love to see the vlogs too - even if it’s just your day to day (as much as your comfortable showing) Would love to see fashion content related to getting creative with what’s already in your closet 💗
❤ Always love your honesty & positive outlook. Beautiful inside and out.😊
Thank you so much for talking about mental health. I myself have been struggling with major anxiety. And it’s good to know that we are not alone and many people go through this. This is not a permanent stage, and it’s totally ok to get help. This too shall pass. Sending you well wishes XO 💓
Oh my gosh, your backyard is a dream!!! Love it!!! 😍😍😍🔥
I'm here for the lawnmower content! I came to you for the clothing hauls, but I stay for the vlogs and the "real life" content !!
I love this new toni!!!!🥹 keep glowing and growing🪷
I honestly feel like that is why I didn't get into a serious relationship until I was 25, I just wasn't willing to lose my identity and I feel like you have to be able to stand on your own and have your own thing going
thankful for you ❤ but please don’t feel bad! you do the best you can and thank you for all your content ☺️
Oh my dear. It's called getting older. You realize life is about living, experiences, your friends and family and helping people. You are leveling up. Don't let it scare you. ❤
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Genuine question what do you enjoy doing on the weekends?
Hi Toni good morning happy Wednesday morning and happy summer day and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you
U cld def do a vlog on no buy and how it going etc
I agree w tht buying things helps escape issues like tht but now u can see how it doesn’t actually.. now tht ur able to step back.
I dnt watch you for hauls.. i enjoy your vlogs. Amazing that u made urself learn who u r.. i feel like i need that
I love mowing my front and back yard. Definitely rewarding.
Maybe you consider leaving a space between the hedges in the middle of the back of the patio so you can get off the patio?
Love the audio book recommendations, I use my library’s app for free audios all the time
The backyard looks so good!!
I’m going through a similar situation with my iud!! I have the copper and have wanted it out for months but my string isn’t visible so I’ve endured an extremely painful attempt to remove it and now I’ll be seeing another doctor but I’ve been literally begging for pain management and it seems like they don’t sympathize at all. So frustrating it seems like doctors are pushing bc even when patients don’t react well.