Aliens Stunned: "Humans Can Pet Anything" | Sci-Fi Story | HFY
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
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Captain Jack Harper discovers humanity's unique gift: the ability to pet and bond with the universe's most fearsome creatures. From taming Qlathran death beasts to calming telepathic telepathic beings, Harper's adventures highlight the power of empathy and understanding.
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#scifi #hfy #alien #story #mrscifi
Alien creature: *exists*
Alien: this thing is the most dangerous predator on this planet, one bite could rip an arm off
Human: im'a pet it
alien: do not pet the homicidal rage beast
Human: if it didnt want to be pet, then why is it friend shaped
*hours later*
Alien: *sighing*
human riding the alien creature like a horse: i named him fluffy
Yep, that's humans for ya!
"Hey cap, can we keep him? Please!"
@@captainhuntank7963 "Aye but it's got a vicious streak a *_mile_* wide!"
This got a good laugh out of me.
mine is called Fnghrth! it invited its cousin in to look for 'owners' to ...and belly rubs!
Aliens: “It’s one of the deadliest beasts in existence!”
Human: “Then why friend shaped?”
Kirby?
Moopsie?
The spirit of Steve Irwin lives on through the human species.
“Survival instincts”
Humans: nah it’s just a good boy
Lolz, my dog is a bull...
Who's a good boy!
"He's friend-shaped after all."
Nah that’s a doggo or kittyo
This reminds me Boom Boom the buffalo 😅
The best survival instinct is to befriend the deadliest beast, so that he protects you
2000 years later and we have a pug version of it
@@lauren7008😂😂
And all animals in the galaxy know it, and can sense that it's us.
Aliens: this is the most dangerous animal in the galaxy
Humans: ahhh what a sweetie
Aliens: wait what?
Aliens: "we looked away for 2 seconds how tf"
Humans: "i don't bite"
The pet with razor-sharp teeth
Aliens: " yes it does"
Not if I feed it and treat it right.😊
Humans: "Can I pet that dog?"
Alien: "What's a dog? Also, that thing killed four of my people yesterday."
Humans: "I'm gonna pet that dog!"
Lol, I hear the little girl saying that. “Can I pet that DAWG?!”
Go pet that dawg! xD
"I'm going to pet that dog!" Says every Zelda Breath of the Wild player! 😂
Harper channeled the spirit of Steve Irwin.
His reincarnation
Alien: Those are dangerous.
Human: Awww they are so cute. Pss pss pss.
Alien: It will kill you.
Human: Well that's what they said about your species. And look at us now. 😅
Aliens: Don 't touch that thing, it'll kill you
Human: If you think that thing's bad you should see what wolves and zebras look like on Earth
Alien 1: What's a wolf?
Alien 2: What is a Zebra? Does it bite?
Human: Wolves are more scared of you than you are of them, but zebras don't bite unless you piss them off. I'd be more worried about their hooves
Alien: fierce beast of unspeakable evils!
Human: oh look a spiky cat.
Alien: "No! This is an apex predator!"
Human (with a baby-talking voice while petting the apex predator's belly): "Who is the silliest killing machine baby? Who is the silliest killing machine baby? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! *makes fart noises by blowing air against its belly*
To quote Final Space:
“Aww, you’re not just a face hugger, you’re a Planet Destroying Face Hugger!!”
*proceeds to hug planet destroying alien*
Another storey idea from his would be something like; The Galactic Assembly are shocked to find humans can survive a Colathron Death Beast sting and only expresses the pain with a mare "ouch".. and Describes the sting to that of a Wasp from Earth. The Galactic Assembly later discovers the Wasps and Bees on earth contain the same Venom as the Colathron Death Beast and could kill any member of the Galactic Assembly in the most gruesome and painful death in minutes.
Class 9 death world: Earth.
👍
@@DemocratLibertarian Class 12 death world*
@@planktonkrab New classification: Hellworld!
@@planktonkrab
Earth is the Australia of the known Universe.
If it exists we must pet
Are you saying I'm not petting my imaginary friends, because they love them some head-pats?
Is that rule 33 or 35?
It's rule 33 but rule 35 refers to rule 33
I swerve off when it comes to nope ropes and danger noodles. Ain't no way I'm petting a venomous snake. But yeah other than that Scritch away. Addendum not petting the poison frog ether... not without a hazmat suit.
But what about rule 34
Humans . . . Pro-tip: Humans can pack bond even with animals who will eat them. 2000 quatloo's the humans cannot be contained!
Hell, we even bond with other humans that are holding us hostage. Turns out the Human motto is pretty much " I'M GONNA PET THAT DOG!!"
Epic Statement.
@@edmondgreen7970Reminds me of a scene in LoK when Mako & Bolin are held captive by two Red Lotus members and Mako tells Bolin; "Don't befriend the bad guys."
Humans will pet anything. You call it weakness, i call it making friends
Who's the Good Boy 😂
*While Petting a Creature That Looks like it came from Lovecraft * 😂
*creature gurgles happily and keeps slapping two tentacles on the ground*
@@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233And six dolts in robes feel ridiculous as they request, "Could you please stop petting Cthulu?"
You've apparently never seen the Cthulhu cats or void cats
@@thelordofthelostbraincells The void cats are cute and cuddly but it's a pain when they hide your socks in another dimension
@@m.jasondoty9062 "Why? Look at it! He is so fluffy and cuddly! And who is the wittle extwadimensional abomination? Yes, you are!" *makes fart noises by blowing air against its belly*
_If it's so dangerous then why is she friend-shaped?_
_If it's such a monstrous threat then why does it make the most adorable rumbly purr when I scritch the back of her cheek's ridge?_
_She's a good girl and it's in her culture to get scritches and be told as much; don't be racist, pet the heavily-armored cutiepie._
I want to so bad.
If she purrs like an armored scaly cat, would she let me cuddle her?
Can i pet that dog:space edition.
This tail of HUMAN EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING, oh if only WE were able to grasp and actually live IT!
We do have it, but only for animals, we had a mean golden retriever when i was little, he would bark at everyone, but when he got out everyone saw the violent retriever playing with me, they didn't know i was feeding him my leftovers😂(i didn't like pork it was too chewy)
we do grasp it and we do live it.
That's humans for you 😂
Question 1: can I eat it?
Question 2: can I pet it?
Question 3: can I both?
Humans, the beastmasters of the universe.... 😂
Hmm this feels like if Steve Irwin was a space captain
Not gonna lie, as a nerd with extensive knowledge of human and animal phycology and sociology, it was hard for me to not say anything from the first few minutes but once I turned my brain off, I started loving the story. It was simply amazingly hopeful. I'm glad I listened. I needed this. Thanks.
You're better than me lmao, I can't silence the part of my brain that critiques fiction when I know better.
@@WhyName the thing is, you only know what others told you, which is either a collection of other written "knowledge" or a simple view of the one that created the thesis under special circumstances.... you probably wouldnt be alive, if you had experienced it yourself :P.
@@michelwaylander5005 naaaa, that's a lot off assuming, and it's not correct.
Usually the things that stand out to me the most are about sword fighting, and me knowing better is from experience.
@@WhyName thats the knowledge that really counts!
It's obviously exaggerated in this story, but I think there's a kernel of truth in it. When we move to the stars, we will do so as a multispecies civilization. There aren't any other examples besides Earth that we can compare, but I don't imagine many other species would evolve this way
_Captain Jack Harper..._
_The man that would pet _*_THE UNIVERSE._*
The plaque on his monument is going to read, "Imma pet it."
Jack HArper? For a second i thought it was Jack HARKNESS. And that would mean something completly different.
FR
Harkness has his own reasons not to be afraid of deadly beasts.
🦊🐰🦭
Same
That would put a very different FACE on things 😂🤓
Couple stories this reminds me of. Some inspector goes to a guys farm stating he has the right to check his place out. The Farmer doesn't care about his rudeness and says just go ahead but stay out of a certain pasture. The inspector puffs up and shows him a badge and says the farmer doesn't have much of a choice. "Whatever" says the farmer. Couple minutes later a ruckus starts and the farmer goes to see his bull is chasing the inspector. "Show him your badge!" the farmer yells.
The other story is of a You Tube short where a lady wants a selfie with what she thinks is a docile bison. Lesson learned: Play stupid games and you get stupid (and sometimes severe) prizes.
Well we do have a long history of animal husbandry. As many species as we've wiped out we've also brought countless species as part of our "family". Species that would have been wiped out are our friends now, so I could see it. Maybe not to this degree, but enough of them.
Apparently, all animals are dogs XD
Not complaining though, this is epic
Base human instinct: I gotta touch it
It's like Crocodile Dundee hypnotizing the water buffalo
Not only do humans want to pet everything, but so many critters including some fish, random things that aren’t pack animals also like to be pet or scritches.
If a human can pack bond with a Roomba, we can pack bond with *anything*. It is our strongest ability and probably our ultimate undoing xD
That’s hilarious, but also true. “Oh no! Poor thing. You got yourself stuck. Let me help you.”
Finally, a picture that is not filled with mostly humans. So many of the others feature 1 or, maybe 2, aliens, even tho they are said to be in the Galactic Council Chambers. The artist put in some interesting-looking folks. Tho, it could still use some of those environmental pods.
@@lynneclark5313 thank you 😊
Nah, they just haven't arrived yet - it takes them a while to suit up!
I mean, technically speaking not all animals can be tamed/domesticated but a large amount can be trained to view humans as not food or a threat at the very least.
The ability of man to tame animals is legendary. For instance, the Bible says, “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:7-8) In other words, mankind has tamed everything at some point, everything except the human tongue, which can do so much damage. We are more dangerous than the animals.
it's not that humans CAN pet anything... it's that humans WILL pet anything. Something about wolves and cats (two of our most notably ferocious predators on Earth) becoming domesticated instilled us with the concept that everything SHOULD be petted... even to our own detriment.
If it looks petable we pet
Random human sees deadly beast "I would like to pet this creature."
Humans awe!
Aliens Wtf?
The whole counsel lined up for head pats
I got to admit the fact that he made the beast purr like a cat gave me a great big smile. About 1/3 through so far loving it
I mean for an AI generated and narrated story they got one thing right. Humanity tends to make pets out of everything, Cause we're above everything.
We're too stupid to be afraid.
Draxha sounds like Drakthar, by drakthar’s hammer, another banger is upon us, what a story 🫡
"if its not a friend then why its friend shaped"
I would love to read a book series about this
Didn't know Hagrid had a Son xD
"That's a giant, human eating Spider!"
"Nah... it's cute, if you know how to love it!"
He pet his way up the latter. It was said he pet god himself.
Just wait until they hear about the Floridian ''yoink man'' lol. He is the pinnacle apex predator.
Ohh! Space kitty
So he's just Steve Irwin
I hope that if any alien reads this they won't bite...
Here critter critter , here critter 😅
I didn't expect less from Ghost from Mass effect
Some animals you can do this with but unfortunately some animals just aren't wired for it. For instance no amount of understanding and empathy will help you with a Great White shark.
Actually there are people who have formed bonds with sharks. There was this scuba diver who visited a shark sanctuary and this one shark would follow him around for belly pats. Now hippos, hippos will absolutely wreck you.
@@ashtrathewitch9 Some sharks you can do this, yes. Notice i was very specific in referring to Great Whites? I dare you to try it with them.
@@aeroprime3322 it's happened lol,
I don't remember what season of Shark Week it was, but there was a guy in South Africa who interacted quite peacefully with a pair of Great Whites. One of them even pulled him along while he held its dorsal fin. Kinda like a dolphin will do.
The majority of shark attacks happen because young sharks think people look like a hard-wired food item. Such as surfers on surfboards looking like seals. Also, sharks don't come "running" when human blood hits the water. I hate to break it to you, but animals don't humans taste good. We are a last resort food item for most predators.
Don't forget you are literally an alien to this creature. The smells coming off you do not compute with it's instincts. It wouldn't know what the hell to do with you. But ya 50/50 you are getting shredded.
I don’t know if this is ai or not and I don’t too much care right now. I do know that I enjoyed this story and the way it was told.
Thank you. I’m am now a new fan and subscriber.
Most of these short stories are from a sub reddit of authors in /HFY
"Wrapped Attention" should be Rapt Attention.
Must've been friend shaped.
I mean...i played the entirety of monster hunter looking at everything and going BIG FRIEND, so yea i understand
Hang on a second! The one type of people who will never need assistance connecting and empathizing with animals is telepathic people. The fact that their animals are also telepathic immediately begs the question, "why don't you ask what's wrong? Why can't they give you a telepathic image of what's worrying them so you can hunt it for them?"
Hmm...
Telepathy doesn't mean you'd understand their thoughts. You're thinking a question in English. The animal doesn't know English. So, it can't think you an answer you'd understand.
Hims is just a sand puppy! What a good sand puppy! :p
These stories rarely address the individuality of humans. Harper could do that, but someone else, probably could not; but the aliens seem to ascribe this as a general human ability. I love animals, the next guy, not so much. It makes a difference. Nevertheless, really enjoyed the story.
So true. I have heard of people doing work where they have to visit many people’s property, and getting bit by dogs, chased by bulls, and every sort of horror story. Then I did that kind of work for a couple years and never had a single bad encounter with an animal, in spite of being in all the same potential situations. I left smiling dogs with their tails wagging everywhere I went. I even had a big bull show me he had a sore foot so I would go find the owner and get him some help. Oh, the worst encounters I had involved people, who unfortunately are impossible to tame.
I mean to be fair, I can't think of many animals that dont enjoy being pet. Heck even fish like scritches.
You know when the first aliens arrive, someone is gonna try to pet them. 😂
If not friendly, why friendly shaped?
I'm highly amused by this particular story. Done right, this would make a great sci-fi movie.
"Can I pet that daaawg?"
Very cool stuff
Human: What's your name?
Alien: *points at the placard*
Human: Veno Mous, oh hi Veno-Mous ❤
I liked this, it is a pretty solid and amusing concept and adorably wholesome too.
Ngl, I still can't tell if this was an AI narrator.
Alien: it’s a deadly beast. Don’t go near it.
Human: it’s so cool looking. I’ma touch it.
some animals yes, try these methods with a hippo, or a polar bear, nah.
What do you want? it was cute 😅
Jack Harper: I just want to befriend and pet the creatures.
Also Jack Harper: "ends up bringing peace to the galaxy by petting alien creatures"
"That is a Colathron Death Beast!"
"I call him Snuggles. He LOVES chin scratches."
"You can tame anything if you don't mind getting bit"
-timmy mc channel
I feel this is a nice break from 'ra ra humans! we're so tough!' type stories. it's nice to see us valued for our compassion instead of our capacity for violence or death planet toughness.
Humans being the most dangerous thing in the universe certainly helps with petting.
Very cool story
Human: can I pet that dog?
Alien guide: that is a deathbeast, it is responsible for the extinction of 50 different species on this planet, having hunted them to extinction.
Human: oh so he's a very good boy.
Can i pet that dog?
The galaxy 🌌: this beast can rip through the fabric of space. Reduce any being to atoms.
Humans: good alien puppy 🐶
We do like friending dangerous things. 😂
New rule for human diplomacy. Don’t let the humans pet you! 😂
Great Story! Thanks!
Humanity: we will pet anything and everything that is pettable.
What is this series ?
Im so confused what did i just find this is so good im usually goimg down a rabbit hole of 40k stuff but this is like a breath of fresh air and quite auxillerating is this from a specific universe just a random scifi story seiries or what?
I clicked on this because of boredom....and the comment section didn't disappointed 😂
My favorite FB group will love this! (You better call a hearse, because I'm gonna pet that thing)
If not friend, why friend shaped?
A new Steve Irwin of the galaxy.
If not sentient we will give head pats...hell if sentient and cute will also get head pats
The only creature that this doesn't work on is the common house cat
Alien: wtf is that!?
*points a giant reptilian monstrosity*
Human: This my good boy Al. Had him since he was an egg *proceeds to scratch belly*
This is ridiculously cheesy but I can’t stop listening
“Can I pet that dawg?”
Animals can sense your intentions, but that doesn't mean they care.
After all that it would be funny if the story ended with Harper returning to Earth and the first thing he does is go to pet his cat and it bites him.
I notice that in the second picture during the story, at mid screen, there are at least 2 Humanoid Aliens wearing red uniforms. DO NOT, under any circumstances, let those red uniformed Aliens anywhere near those Colathran Death beasts because Everybody knows that Red Uniforms means they'll be killed.
Our empathy? Have you seen what's happening on Earth? Lmao
Right??😂😂
This story is a perfect follow-up to the story/WP from "Almost Anything Can Pack Bond with a Human" from u/ApocalypseOwl. Perfect for a coffee in the morning.
Glad you enjoyed the story! 😊👽