That's what trauma does to your brain...You think everyone hurts you because someone hurts you...When someone traumatized you,you also expect the world to traumatize you.When someone abandons you,you also expect the world to abandon you.When someone bullies you,you also expect the world to bully you.When someone abuses you,you also expect the world to abuse you.That's how defense mechanism does to your brain
I used to live a happy life being alone...when i transferred to a new apartment, i made friends who eventually backstabbed me and ruined my peaceful life. Most people are toxic...to stay happy you really have to choose the people you associate with... good people are so rare.
I'm a loner, too. I think that it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. You may not even have poor social skills. It just means you don't enjoy people all that much. You may not enjoy socializing and seeking out people. If you are introverted, you should just accept yourself for the way you are. Be happy in your own space !
Indeed, you're right. When I was young, however, I was surrounded by people who were convinced that being an introvert was wrong and akin to some kind of illness. I didn't enjoy people all that much then. Extroverts were valued more and they still are to some extent
@AnObservantTraveller74 High school was rough for those reasons. Some people thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't as social as them. I knew people who thought I needed to be fixed. Some even believed I thought I was too good for them. None of that was true. However I drew in people who did understand me and accepted me for who I was. Anything outside of some people's views of "normal" is unacceptable to them. It takes strength to be who you are despite others' criticisms.
I remember since I was little, back in nursery school, I was always the one who stayed alone. It carried on into school, and on days when we had group projects, I would do them alone because no one invited me. There's something ingrained in me that says, "I don't accept less than I deserve."…Additionally when ppl people can't control you or you don't meet their expectations they simply step back much like vampires when their prey has no more blood…It's no wonder vampirism captures the fascination of most people.
As a woman, this was my experience of every friendship I had with other women. Then at about age 40, I decided no more female friends. It's much better for me this way.
Robin Williams killed himself so... I think everyone needs freiends, to get a friend you need to be a friend. Not everyone will click but your friend is out there. Keep looking everyone.....
lol, that saying is so wrong. Only ‘YOU’ can decide how alone you feel. It’s never others. The problem Robin Williams was trying to describe was ‘disconnection’ with people. Totally understandable in the modern world. I feel it too. But deep down. It’s my problem, not other peoples.
We are born alone and we will die alone. Being your own best friend is probably a good idea. I have a big family and a few friends but nothing beats my own company. Many of the things I enjoy doing I can do solo such as reading, meditating, painting, and playing music. I never feel alone when I'm by myself but I have felt alone around others. It's important for me to preserve my peace.
Being touched and sleep with someone is the best feeling and I cannot experience it because of loneliness. Do you have bf? It is easy to write things like this when youre not really alone.
I hate when people say that. Youre not born alone you literally are surrounded by people from the moment you are born. Just because you're hanging out by yourself does not mean youre alone. Being alone is something most humans are really bad at. Were highly social and dependent upon one another for survival.
@@MegaAbgtI don't have a boyfriend. I choose to stay single because I love to invest in myself. Being alone is not for everyone but for me personally I can truly say that's when I'm the happiest. Although I'm alone I actually don't feel lonely.
@@skrrskrr99 Well being alone is not for everyone. Some people actually enjoy it and others don't. We are social creatures by nature. However, some individuals do enjoy being alone. No one will ever know me as deep and personally as I know myself. Learning about my own interests and investing in myself is important to me. Like I said though it's not for everyone.
@Minnie--ru2ew You are so right. I blocked my family from contacting me. Now with less family I have less drama, fewer headaches and peace of mind. And I am more successful and happier.
I think its sad we've become conditioned to be alone. That's the direction of society. Remote working, zoom, gaming, FaceTime, Amazon. All designed to keep people apart. Im a 60 year old woman and I don't recognize the world anymore. I feel sorry for the younger generation.
I'm 62, I love my family/being with them, don't have any friends, but i'm busy with my grand kids, I do like my a lone time, but if I didnt have any family, I'm sure I would need a friend or two, yes, this younger generation is totally different!
You are so lucky to be 60 yrs old. Alot of the younger generations wish so badly to be your age just to get away from this negative life and hopefully closer to the next one where we can finally find true peace and rest.
I'm 60 also, one of the group activities I remember as a youth was roller skating, there was always a skate rink nearby and it was always packed on weekends. These days the rinks have been closed or torn down and not replaced. It was a great social outlet and one could burn calories while doing it. I miss those days.
And when people go outside they do it just for entertainment , one night stands fleeting “situationships”. No common purpose , no sense of “greater good” no cooperation skills, no actual trust built through hard times . Just transactional and superficial
SOLITUDE is priceless! No friends is better than a bunch of fake nice individuals, moochers, BS, backstabbers, traitors, etc. SO PEACEFUL and HAPPY to be ALONE!
@user-jl8yy5ir7s Just about everyone around me is the exact same like you mentioned. Also, last minute cancellation seems normal - the same person would cancel 3X consecutively. So, having learned the hard way, these days I am so much happier enjoying MY SOLITUDE - so happy and peaceful - SOLITUDE is priceless!
So true, these days many ppl are only users and just like parasites, they only nice to u when they need u, I helped some ppl that I had called “friends” but they ended up betraying me and betraying my kindness. Hopefully Karma would kick their as5 soon!
TOTALLY AGREED. Being alone is so much better than being fooled by fake friends. After several experiences of fake friends "inviting" me to lunch but on the day of the lunch, they had "forgotten" about it, and a bunch of fake friends who always "left their wallet at home" after they had eaten the food at the restaurant, and asked me "can you pay for me first and I will pay you back" but they never paid me back, I finally realized the fake friends had scammed me for a free lunch - I AM NOW FRIEND-FREE.
Some of the stupidest choices I have ever made were made because society "told" me that if I didn't I wasn't "normal". Got married for this reason and it was a horrible experience. I really enjoy being by myself and I feel that is my natural state of being for the most part.
Isolation is addicting. Your name becomes less involved in confusion and drama. I became much happier when I stopped communicating with people. Most of my stress came from having friends and communicating to regularly with family.
There are good honest people out there I promise. As a human being we are not meant to be alone. We are social beings of course with the right social influences. But I understand what you are saying Ms. and best of luck to you.
43 single and single. No family no friends. What keep me alive is a good job and knowing myself and loving God and my neighbors. I think that's enough.
I grew up with lots of friends, only to realize later in life that those friendships were because I was so messed up and was a people pleaser. It wasn't till those relationships were tested - including familial - that I realized how shallow and fake they were; now at 60 I'm left with one sibling and 2 friends. Finally at peace
The last few yrs the so called friends that I’ve known for more than a decade turned out to be traitors, idk what happened; perhaps ppl change or perhaps their true color is finally showing! Took my kindness for granted and betrayed my loyalty. I believe Karma will catch up with them tho.
I purposely removed everyone from my life. I feel so much better. No drama at all. I work from home I don't leave the house. I have everything delivered. I'm not a shut in I just love being alone. I've been like this since around 2010.
I work from home too and get everything I need delivered! I really don’t leave the house much either… I got my cat, comfy home, good food and I go outside to get fresh air and take walks in town when it’s nice. 👍 most people just drain me. I love being alone ❤
@Pepperthecat11 I 100% know what you mean. I was never happy before. One day I realized you really have to be happy with yourself. Another person isn't going to make you happy. I thought I had some kind of depression but all it was is people are exhausting. I don't get mad or anything ever. I'm glad your doing well to. There's nothing wrong with being alone.
@@jackinmyhoggoff807 same! I thought there was something wrong with me. I used to go out partying a lot and had a ton of “friends” in my 20s. I’m 34 now, and I don’t drink or smoke anymore and stay home all the time…never been happier or more productive. Glad you are happy too-being a homebody is honestly awesome
Friends come and go. They will backstab you, borrow money, and never pay back, they get mad when you ask to get paid back, like what???? I thought we were friends?? theres no such thing as a friend anymore. My " best friend " borrowed tons of money during his divorce and bankruptcy. When he was doing well again. Even bought himself a pickup truck, big off road tires, a Harley motorcycle, furniture his new home. I asked when he can repay the thousands I let him borrow. He got reeeeaaally mad. Like u have the nerve to ask your friend for money???? What an ungrateful person. I guess he learned how to steal, manipulate, backstab people working as a Corrections Officer in New York. Right Michael H.
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384no, I'm bitter. I plan on dwelling on it so my daughter sees it. She won't be trusting , naive, with smooth, smiling, people, while their hands are reaching for your wallet
@@Heseesyou Amen, blessed GOD thank you for everything, especially for sending your Son Jesus Christ so that our sins could be forgiven and we could be saved.
This younger generation is very honest and open about their issues. Back in the day people wouldn't ever admit to having any friends bc it feels like social rejection. Having just one good friend you can talk to is the best thing. As you get older, you do not want to be alone.
I just entered my 30s, on the verge of earning my (MA) Masters. Both of my parents, who are still my heroes, passed away when I was 8. I couldn't care any less about anyone else. I just focus on my life.
sorry you lost your parents so young. congrats on getting your Masters degree. That's a huge accomplishment. I hope you can find a loving special person one day but I think you're wise to focus on your own life. Just don't give up hope for connection. That's what we were made for. Take care. W
@@wordswordswords8203 Wow, thank you for this reply. I'll never give up on human connectivity, nor am I seeking it. I think because of my parents showering me with their attention and love, when I was a little boy, before they died - as an adult, I never feel the need for "love" outside of myself or from anyone else. If I somehow meet someone and we have a kid or two, then that's fine. Although, if that were to never happen; that too, is also fine. I wish you well, friend 🙂👍
I once had "friends." But they only came to me when they fuck their lives up or need money. Once they get what they want, I'm back to being invisible. It's better to be alone than being a means to an end for everybody.
Most of the people I know just end up talking about when you aren't around. You know this when other 'friends' leave and they start talking about them.
I'm 38 and I always had friends around me.. from good to toxic .. I finally realized that only I can make myself happy.. I've been friendless for 5 years now.. I got into hobbies and goals and a peace of mind
True, but let's face it, we all want friends and family that we like. Life is much more fulfilling that way if we can have it. Humans are not ment to be alone for long periods of time.
I’m not alone I have a small family and a couple friends. But I am the most alone I have been in life. I was reading my study Bible just yesterday and it said alone and lonely are not the same! Amen
Same.. I used to *dread* going to family holiday gatherings 🙄 drama, passive-aggression, rudeness etc.. I swear people have nothing positive or interesting to talk about so they just make up the most lame shit. Finally I decided I don't want to force myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing anymore and I've never been happier 💗 holidays are now peaceful & beautiful ✨
'' drama, passive-aggression, rudeness etc.. I swear people have nothing positive or interesting to talk about so they just make up the most lame shit.'' Sounds exactly like my 'family'!
I made a very conscious choice to overnight delete social media, acquaintances, fake friends, and family. My soul felt empty with these people and an app knowing things about my personal life that I put out there, trying to gain some type of fake acceptance, was played out. I disappeared overnight and I have so much peace in my life now. My business grew, I took the time to cook better and learn a new language, and I have a few chosen quality people around me who had the same goals. There's no need for this abundance of social activity to lead a healthy and happy life, this is just another thing society tells us. I find solace in being hard to find, I have no desire to be like everyone else.
Greta video! I’m 35 and deleted my social media and stepped away from drinking with friends/partying. I go to gym. Spending time in prayer church and family. It’s positive gains! Thank you for your positivity. We are blessed to have this singleness and other distractions.
I used to get pushed away by people since I was very little. I began to accept the thought that I was never going to fit in society's activities. I learned that I enjoy creating art. Photography became another joy for me. I learned how to compose music. I wrote a few books. Completed me educational goals. I 'm still taking college courses. I stopped drinking in 1996. I learned that being alone, and pushed away wasn't so bad. I knew someone that didn't want to associate with me, because I didn't have a high school diploma. I got my high school diploma then one day I saw them on the street. I walked by them like I didn't know them. They never recognized me, because I had changed. I looked really good. Better than when we last spoke. I just kept walking by. I felt happy, and didn't need them as a friend. I became successful by myself without the need to be around others. It wasn't my fault. I was pushed away. I built my own world. I'm happy.
I realized that I prefer my own company. Friends are huge waste of time and money. In the past I was always investing much much more human energy and resources in friendships which were one sided. I could also say the same when it came to dating and romance. I’ve given up on both and I feel fine. I guess I m not cool enough good looking enough but I’m ok with that and I m finally gonna take time to know me and learn to like myself because at the end of the day that’s the only true friend who will have my back.
Relationships and friendships are always one-sided and not reciprocated by individuals. It seems that one person contributes more or less than the other person. It's all a scam and sets one up to be exploited and abused
The matrix is slowly collasping from the "survivors" point of view.. Pity parties are old.. Generations need to catch up on a galactic interstellar level. I wish everyone luck on their spiritual soul journey. May the peace find you all one day on earth. Blessings. ❤
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
The only time I feel really painfully alone is when I travel. When I am at the airport and know no one cares. No one waits. No one messages me in general. I have no emergency contact to leave at work. Or no one to give my second apartment key to. That is why financial stress makes me sick and miserable. I have only myself to rely on. It was always like that and it will be always like that. Even my own parents never cared for me, they even were jealous of everything I had, even of me smiling. I learned how to whole heartedly laugh when I had my own apartment and was safe... Without being afraid of rage out of the blue from people I should be able to trust. Most people out there just don't develop their emotional intelligence and refuse to grow mentally. Not my problem anymore. I'm out and walk my own lonely but peaceful path.
@@food4444lyfe I understand.Went to Turkey alone to have a stomach surgery. No one even knew, no one cares anyway. Reminds me of the time when I was in hospital as a 6 year old for a small heart surgery. I was in Munih for a week, all alone. My father just dropped me there from Frankfurt and was gone... Not even my mother called.
No the most important friend and only friend you need or I need is Jesus Christ, the Son of God who came to earth as a human and died on the cross to pay a debt we cannot pay so we no longer HAVE to be separated from God! Accepting that free gift (not cheap, but freely given) and trust in Him, read the Bible to learn what pleases Him, what He hates! Time is almost up. Accept Him now before He comes to take His bride home for the wedding. After that the worst times EVER on the earth and to trust in Him then WILL cost your life. The anti Christ, a human indwelt by Satan will seek out believers and kill them. So choose Him now. The door is closing soon. I am not talking about religion, God wants relationship with you! Friendship, not enemies of God.
I can completely relate. Sometimes it’s even more dangerous to be in the company of family because when you have a medical emergency they won’t help you. They will accuse you of faking it.
All my life I've had no friend, just acquaintances and coworkers. I used to live on my own, but now I live with my sister. Before it kind of bothered me that I didn't have a single friend. But now I'm grateful because I've learned to enjoy my own company and I am at peace. Everyone has their own problems, some have more than others. Once you learn to not create your own problems, it's hard to be around those that do.
I am turning 50 years old and these word really touched me. I have been very happy all my life and felt joy being alone. Yes I’m married and have acquaintances but I don’t have a bestie, bro, or BFF type. My wife is concerned I don’t socialize with others the way she does. I don’t even talk to my mother, father or sister much and it mutual because we are there for each other if needed. People need to realize that some humans just function better alone.
I'm one of those people. I am not a victim, however people are exhausting and I am a very "deep" person. I am mostly misunderstood because I don't do what everyone else does. So it is more compassionate for me to stay to myself. My husband is the only person that tries to understand me.
Very truth. It's better to be alone with yourself to cultivate self-improvement that will lead to peace and happiness than in a toxic environment that distracts and sabotages your growth. Congrats Martin for coming to this realization.
What a refreshing video to watch. I am an older person and all my life I was told to make friends. You are told there is something wrong with you if you have no friends. Even before social media, TV made you a failure if you weren't the cool person. I have learned to enjoy my own company and enjoy the silent times. Social media is not reality. You are a smart man. Most people only have a few good friends in their lives. As for family, I have none. Sometimes it is the luck of the draw. But I am okay. Your video only reaffirmed what I knew all this time. Being true to yourself is the best reward. Having tons of friends, social media, distract one from their purpose in life. Thank you for a great video. I hope others draw inspiration as I have. 🎉
Finally a positive person, I always wondered why everyone complaining about not having friends, I'm glad to be alone, too many backstabbing friends these days
One time I confided to my so called friends about a mistake I did at work. I felt so heavy inside and I needed to vent it to people I feel safe around. The response I got was smirk and side eye plus "It's all your fault." These are women aging from 30-35 who I've known for years, I felt so unseen and unloved. No kindness at all.
It is God's love that will wash away all our earthly moments and fully restore us with the light of gladness. All else means nothing. We won't look back.
@@LuvKitKatt Many Stitches, many broken bones homeless by 15 Marine Corps by 17 (SOLID 15 YEAR CAREER) survived a bad situation, no one's victim because I'm the one that got away. I survived
Same here and I'm still thankful to God He is our friend We are in the last days. God is coming soon to bring His people home. Repent of you're sins and get baptized. Be born again by believing and being saved to go to eternal life. Jesus is The Only Way. Have a relationship with Him. He loves you and cares for you're soul. Believe and be saved according to The Book of Romans 10:9. Accept Him as you're personal Lord and Savior. Hear His Word, The Holy Bible, stay in prayer and help others. I am here for prayer. I'm just sharing The Good News. God bless.
When the friends who dumped me for hitting hard times, realise those times are over, the door is shut to them at my place. There is no return. It's not that I'm unforgiving, it's just that I'm not stupid.
We have 3 children and our middle son was always a loner. Never was invited for birthdays and had to deal with racism. When I talked about it with him, he didn't seem to care at all. Now there are some children who like him and wants to play with him, but he is just better off alone. And one time when I was painting and at the same time watching tutorials, he was watching tv and playing with his lego, drawing and sometimes in his bedroom to live in his fantasy world like pretending he's a hero, that he can fly etc. he told me "Mama. These are my happiest moments." He didn't felt pressure from me that we HAVE to do something, like my husband always wants to do things with us: games, playing music, going out for a walk. And that is a good thing of course. But I also discovered that I prefer just to be alone because deep in my heart I'm a loner too.
54 and my family always think I am strange because I prefer to be alone. I enjoyed my own company and many ppl thinks I am not normal because I can go to dinner or movies by myself. As I got older I realized how great it was to be alone and I treasured my simple life and come to realization that being alone doesn’t mean lonely. When I have to go to family gatherings or friends social I find I get anxiety as most times it’s shallow and chaotic. You are correct when you are alone you accomplished many things faster
Wow, I am totally agree with you. I never feel so peaceful right now. Because I have kind heart and I am a people pleaser, people do take advantage of me friends and family. I came to a nervous breakdown. I finally get a hold of myself and take care of me. These are toxic people. Now, I love my isolation, quiet and alone. So now, I do reading more, gardening, finally I find peace. Moving forward, I stop let others people influence me or change me. Thank you for your message . Love it. ❤
I took a step back from friends in my 20's and never bothered with them again. Then I started to find out the truth about the character assassination they used to do on each other including me. One person who I thought was my best friend in my early 20's and was in college and working part time. I always bought lunch and helped out because I was working full time. He turned round to me one day and declared "Oh I'm buying a house." "How an earth can you buy a house?" I asked "Oh I managed to save up £40K for the deposit." Yeah he had been giving everyone the pity story and living of us and stashing his cash for a few years. Once he got the house he started lording it over everyone. I just walked away from that friendship!! No family and hardly any friends and very happy. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning and being able to do whatever you fancy without anyone criticising, demanding or giving you a guilt trip. Also another big deal is it's my money, my house and I will do whatever i please.
its not really friendship though. i would never consider anyone, who has such bad habits that inflict negativity on me, a friend. Same goes for family.
Everyone has bad habits, its not a reason to cut someone off unless its to the point to where they are actively encouraging you to partake in something you know you shouldn't.
I grew up in an alcoholic family. The town I grew up in everybody drank. I drank to fit in. For a while I did fit in, but when I branched off to get healthy and get my finances in order, people don’t like that. They feel like we are arrogant when we want to make these positive changes and have to leave them behind. I made the choice to drink but it is so bad for you. I would never drink again. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I just want to be peaceful, happy and healthy and sleep well and that’s enough for me. The Bible is real. The Cain and Abel scenario is real, so is the Joseph and his brother story. My point is, family and friends are usually the first to betray you and that has been my experience.
My theory is they're the first to betray you, because they know your weaknesses. And when someone knows your weaknesses, they will use that to judge you rather than lift you up.
@@deborahcurtis1385 That is very true Deborah, I tend to forget, but that's probably because if I have any strengths, they are hidden, so they go unnoticed.
@@pegpenguin The strengths are not hidden nor unnoticed. If you are more virtuous, harder working or kinder for example than some friends or family, it can make them hate themselves. So they hate you instead. The more discreet you are the more unegotisical, the more they will hate you. It's their problem but don't forget your strengths. Go harder and hold your head up high.
I too value being alone but the truth is, we are here to create relationships. People have become so untrustworthy, narcissistic, and dangerous, that it has become a challenge to do so.
Martin I think you are right that a person needs to be comfortable and fulfilled with their own company. I am in my 50's and have had periods of many friends and periods of loneliness after several moves to different states. I think it is not good to be so alone. You seem like a wonderful, intelligent, sensitive, kind person. It is good to find people similar to you in wisdom and kindness. Making friends takes effort and discernment. Good luck.
I feel more happy alone than I do around people I have experienced nothing but abuse and pain and humiliation around people I dislike humanity I became a misanthrope
After being divorced I have no friends and only 1 family member left who lives 1000 miles away. I feel isolated and alone, but I'm trying to make the best of it. Never drank, did drugs or smoked. Only focus on survival each day.
Can I be your friend? If you don't mind... I am lonely but I try to survive everyday and try to be positive. Enjoy everyday and be happy as you can be !
Try to reframe not having family or friends and being in survival mode by telling yourself you get a blank slate, no toxic people wanting to shame you for your past. You can reinvent yourself and be whoever you want to be.
Ever since I been on my self love journey after a toxic ex girlfriend broke my heart I been rocking solo and I saw all my so called friends disappeared when I started putting myself first. Best thing I ever did. I’m in better shape than I was before. My creativity has gone through the roof. I love myself more than I ever did in my teenage years or ever. My happiness has skyrocketed. I could go on and on. And there’s a huge difference in being alone and being lonely. Even around a crowd of people I felt more lonely than when I was by myself
You are very smart and self aware. I know a guy who I dated and it didn't work out but we keep in touch. For 10 years straight he had no life and worked Monday - Sunday. He is 36 years old now & has built himself up to retirement. He literally could retire if he wanted to. He oversees his large roofing business on the East Coast and is set for life. I look and think wow !! He was always the oddball out from people I hung out with but now he has the leisure travel back and forth to south america which he does a couple times a month and to and continues to build his business. I commend him so much for never following the crowd. I appreciate you speaking out on looking at things on the positive in building things on your own regardless.
Exactly, I am ALONE but NOT LONELY. I just built a ebay store over the past 9 months. starting from scratch just learning on utube. I would never have been able to build and now provide for myself in a better way owning and operating my own Ebay store if I had lots of freinds and family that needed my time. Being alone and more introverted has enabled me to become more satisfied with myself gave me time to build a future for myself. I could have been pulled in so many directions with lots of friends and family that I never did anything for myself and wake up one day only playing a part in someone else life and not my own. Thank you for this video, being alone but not lonely is a blessing if you put it in perspective and are able to make moves to capitalize on it.
I love my peace and happiness. I have no friends but I'm friendly to anyone in public that likes to have a small chat about the weather or chat about their pet.Thats as far as it goes.But I do love people. I just love them from a distance. ❤❤❤
We are not alone. I am walking with Christ, focusing on goals which I am accomplishing 1 at a time. I don't focus on fitting in with the masses. And yes, I have joy and the peace that surpasses understanding.
62 years young, no friends, no family except for our three children and my husband. My personal freedom means a lot to me so I learned to manage my time wisely. When it comes to 'friendship' I am critical of who I let in to my life. If you want to be the soul that you are and live a life according to your values, it means you have to let go of the 'one-fit-all- model' society wants you te be. It means being oké with having no or just one good 'friend', which has a lot to do with how you see and experience yourself, the people around you and the world you live in. It's a gradual proces, a journey where you discover who you are and what works for you. Take it step by step. What has worked for me, is learning how to be my own best friend first. Thanks for sharing your story. :)
@@insanoibro6331 I'm 62. You asked "what is the peak of youth and what age does youth end?" What do you mean by "peak"? "Peak" in what sense? If you mean biologically, it's probably around your mid-20s, and you probably can't say you are "young" (biologically) once you hit 30" If you mean "peak" financially or materially, then it's probably in your 40s or 50s. If you mean "peak" in terms of your ability to attract women, it's probably about 40. If you mean "peak" in terms of your own personal happiness or contentment, I'd say it's 60+. Or at least, that's how it's been for me. As you get older, you don't have the physique and energy that you used to, but you have learned a lot, grown so much in confidence and competence, become able to set aside so much Bullshit that plagues the young, and after a lot of false starts and mistakes, you build a good life for yourself. That's been my experience, anyhow.
@@Arven8 thanks for the response sir. I'm almost in my mid twenties almost 24 just feel like it's getting late to really turn my life around before im stuck in my bad habits.
This also made me consider the fact that having friends and having acquaintances are two different things. If you’re following your interests, you can at least find like-minded people to can have good conversations with. That kind of fulfills your social needs without having to have “friends”.
One problem is that we do not understand friendship as a society any longer. We call people friends who join our Facebook page or group. A true friend requires what any other serious relationship requires: loyalty, respect, humility, love, and a desire to make each other better. It is a critical and important relationship in making a civilization. Yes, alone time is necessary and beneficial too, but friendship is a necessity personally and for society. However, we should work toward having a small circle of true friends instead of numbers of friends. Many comments here claim that there are too many back-stabbing friends or unloyal friends "these days." People have not changed. They are the same as always. The ancient philosophers provide great insight into how we should choose our friends and how it's necessary to remove yourself from anyone who is not a true friend. It is better to have one or two close friends than 1000 Facebook "friends" or hangout friends.
So true. Society likes to push us to make friends since we're young and it's frowned upon to be lonely. The thing is society never taught us what is a friend. A friend shouldn't be just anyone you know or hang out with. It needs to be someone working towards similar goals as you or at the very least someone who can be there with you to have a genuine conversation and connection without the need to have a degenerate activity to do together (drinking, partying, playing video game, smoking, etc).
@hiitsmartin It's probably always been like that to a certain extent, but you just hear about it more with social media. Although, your generation stayed in the house all day in front of a screen, so that's most definitely contributed to it.
I’m 22 and same . Most people aren’t worth it. Only short conversations are good. But it’s like once you get close to them, they do you wrong and act weird
By chance would you like to be friends then? I’m a 25 year old male from the Caribbean island of Trinidad. And I like connecting with others if possible to share different perspectives on things, to share different cultures and just give out. If you don’t want to that’s okay, I understand
My son met a policeman at a restaurant and they had a conversation about friends, and being lonely. I will never forget what that policeman told my son! He said you are so lucky to not have any friends! They will try to persuade you to do things that can be harmful, or just plain stupid! He said that it’s better for you to be alone. Volunteer for charity work. You will see quite a few people who made bad decisions. It will teach you many lessons!
I use to be social having many friends but one by one they all started to fall off when I decided to do something with my life. Now looking back, all of them were envious of me sneaking in these subliminal disses when we hang out. Now a days I feel so emotionally rejuvenated and refreshing. Zero care of these fake MF’s who were never a true friend to begin with..Btw when you cut yourself out of these people’s life, the feelings of not giving a F’k gives you all the powers! You control the game because they don’t know which direction to attack you 🙌🏼
Friends are a positive thing, but not anyone of the world. That is the problem, the world is vibrating at a lower level to me, filled with hate, sexual imorality, corruption and all the rest. With no immediate family I walk alone, but not alone as God fills the void. You walk with God he fills your heart with peace and with peace you are happy, content.
I started isolating myself when I was 24 because I realized how fake and toxic people can be. I grew up having no friends and never had a relationship before. I love isolation because it protects my inner peace and preserves my sanity.
People are so toxic these days. You have to protect your peace
Wise words my friend 😁
This! 👏
And your soul
Exactly!!! You find disappointment.
Realtalk
I turned 36 today and I'm celebrating it alone.
🥧🌷🌹It´s just a day like another one, but anyway,...happy birthday🌻🌻
Happy belated birthday 🥳
Happy Birthday to you!🥳
Happy birthday🎉🎉🎉
@@santalobasantaloba896No. It is called a birth day. Not just a day. You should celebrate if you feel like it.
A wise man once said “It is better to be alone than in bad company”.
“Better to travel alone than in the company of fools “
Exactly, my circle is small, and I will keep it that way until death. The majority of people are not for your success.
Well said!
Or ANY company at that. Being ALONE just because is more peaceful than anything in this world. Doesn’t have to be a reason to just be alone
Amen to that! 👍🏾
Humans are so afraid to the point that friendship has become a threat.
🗣🗣🗣😔🙏🏾
That's what trauma does to your brain...You think everyone hurts you because someone hurts you...When someone traumatized you,you also expect the world to traumatize you.When someone abandons you,you also expect the world to abandon you.When someone bullies you,you also expect the world to bully you.When someone abuses you,you also expect the world to abuse you.That's how defense mechanism does to your brain
Let no man fear the things in life if they have Christ.
"No weapon formed against me shall prosper. "
I used to live a happy life being alone...when i transferred to a new apartment, i made friends who eventually backstabbed me and ruined my peaceful life. Most people are toxic...to stay happy you really have to choose the people you associate with... good people are so rare.
Extremely The Truth .
I'm a loner, too. I think that it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. You may not even have poor social skills. It just means you don't enjoy people all that much. You may not enjoy socializing and seeking out people. If you are introverted, you should just accept yourself for the way you are. Be happy in your own space !
Thank you for saying that. That's awesome
@@billybobscat6233 Yes, completely agree!
Indeed, you're right. When I was young, however, I was surrounded by people who were convinced that being an introvert was wrong and akin to some kind of illness. I didn't enjoy people all that much then. Extroverts were valued more and they still are to some extent
@AnObservantTraveller74 High school was rough for those reasons. Some people thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't as social as them. I knew people who thought I needed to be fixed. Some even believed I thought I was too good for them. None of that was true. However I drew in people who did understand me and accepted me for who I was. Anything outside of some people's views of "normal" is unacceptable to them. It takes strength to be who you are despite others' criticisms.
I remember since I was little, back in nursery school, I was always the one who stayed alone. It carried on into school, and on days when we had group projects, I would do them alone because no one invited me. There's something ingrained in me that says, "I don't accept less than I deserve."…Additionally when ppl people can't control you or you don't meet their expectations they simply step back much like vampires when their prey has no more blood…It's no wonder vampirism captures the fascination of most people.
The competition and jealousy in so called friendships is alarming....
This!!!!
As a woman, this was my experience of every friendship I had with other women. Then at about age 40, I decided no more female friends. It's much better for me this way.
Truth
@@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness.same, but family can be worse in my experience
Even when you are not trying you are made to feel like you can’t be content with what you have. Not all are trying to be millionaires.
No family no friends no headache no problems no pain no stupidity no failures
thats not what family and friends is about bro
@@thegoldentree6913 im not bro not everyone here is male
@@quantaVastitude2021 have you been living under a cave sis? bro has another meaning other than the male sibling. bro is like saying "my friend".
And NO DEBT
@@CorruptionOnACanvas I have no debt
In my experience, knowing less folk = less trouble
💯
😂😂
Sad but true
Straight up! This is why I don’t really hang with people
Facts !
The less people in my life the more Peaceful I am ,🙏🏽💕
Me too. Isolating myself was the best life decision I ever made.
I'm also alone and I freaking love it. ❤
"I'd rather be alone than have my life full of people who make me feel alone"
-Robin Williams, Worlds Greatest Dad
Robin Williams killed himself so... I think everyone needs freiends, to get a friend you need to be a friend. Not everyone will click but your friend is out there. Keep looking everyone.....
@@susiek6560not everyone needs friends , some of us are eagles
lol, that saying is so wrong. Only ‘YOU’ can decide how alone you feel. It’s never others. The problem Robin Williams was trying to describe was ‘disconnection’ with people. Totally understandable in the modern world. I feel it too. But deep down. It’s my problem, not other peoples.
@@susiek6560 that’s why we need Jesus. I don’t feel alone because He’s with me. He’s waiting for everyone.
@stevo6891 same. Ask God for His companionship and He’d probably send you Godly friends.
We are born alone and we will die alone. Being your own best friend is probably a good idea. I have a big family and a few friends but nothing beats my own company. Many of the things I enjoy doing I can do solo such as reading, meditating, painting, and playing music. I never feel alone when I'm by myself but I have felt alone around others. It's important for me to preserve my peace.
Being touched and sleep with someone is the best feeling and I cannot experience it because of loneliness. Do you have bf? It is easy to write things like this when youre not really alone.
I needed that 🎉💯
I hate when people say that. Youre not born alone you literally are surrounded by people from the moment you are born.
Just because you're hanging out by yourself does not mean youre alone.
Being alone is something most humans are really bad at. Were highly social and dependent upon one another for survival.
@@MegaAbgtI don't have a boyfriend. I choose to stay single because I love to invest in myself. Being alone is not for everyone but for me personally I can truly say that's when I'm the happiest. Although I'm alone I actually don't feel lonely.
@@skrrskrr99 Well being alone is not for everyone. Some people actually enjoy it and others don't. We are social creatures by nature. However, some individuals do enjoy being alone. No one will ever know me as deep and personally as I know myself. Learning about my own interests and investing in myself is important to me. Like I said though it's not for everyone.
Less family, less friends, less drama, less headache. You GAIN peace of mind 👍
@Minnie--ru2ew You are so right. I blocked my family from contacting me. Now with less family I have less drama, fewer headaches and peace of mind. And I am more successful and happier.
*fewer
@@tpmedia3784 thank you! lol!
Precisely!! 🔥🖖
Absolutelyy correct❤🎉
Someone said solitude can become addictive. I think it is true. Being alone is much less complicated than having people around.
that's interesting. i think that's true. ultimately it's not really very healthy but it's easier on many ways.
Solitude brings depression and unhappiness. Lots of loneliness.
@@Jo.Raquel unless it’s for a very long time
@@Jo.Raquel No. Loneliness brings depression and unhappiness. Solitude brings peace. The two are extremely different.
People are the worst. Humans are so selfish and toxic. I get so annoyed.
I think its sad we've become conditioned to be alone. That's the direction of society. Remote working, zoom, gaming, FaceTime, Amazon. All designed to keep people apart. Im a 60 year old woman and I don't recognize the world anymore. I feel sorry for the younger generation.
I'm 62, I love my family/being with them, don't have any friends, but i'm busy with my grand kids, I do like my a lone time, but if I didnt have any family, I'm sure I would need a friend or two, yes, this younger generation is totally different!
You are so lucky to be 60 yrs old. Alot of the younger generations wish so badly to be your age just to get away from this negative life and hopefully closer to the next one where we can finally find true peace and rest.
I'm 60 also, one of the group activities I remember as a youth was roller skating, there was always a skate rink nearby and it was always packed on weekends. These days the rinks have been closed or torn down and not replaced. It was a great social outlet and one could burn calories while doing it. I miss those days.
And when people go outside they do it just for entertainment , one night stands fleeting “situationships”. No common purpose , no sense of “greater good” no cooperation skills, no actual trust built through hard times . Just transactional and superficial
SOLITUDE is priceless! No friends is better than a bunch of fake nice individuals, moochers, BS, backstabbers, traitors, etc. SO PEACEFUL and HAPPY to be ALONE!
@user-jl8yy5ir7s Just about everyone around me is the exact same like you mentioned. Also, last minute cancellation seems normal - the same person would cancel 3X consecutively. So, having learned the hard way, these days I am so much happier enjoying MY SOLITUDE - so happy and peaceful - SOLITUDE is priceless!
😂😂😂
So true, these days many ppl are only users and just like parasites, they only nice to u when they need u, I helped some ppl that I had called “friends” but they ended up betraying me and betraying my kindness. Hopefully Karma would kick their as5 soon!
TOTALLY AGREED. Being alone is so much better than being fooled by fake friends. After several experiences of fake friends "inviting" me to lunch but on the day of the lunch, they had "forgotten" about it, and a bunch of fake friends who always "left their wallet at home" after they had eaten the food at the restaurant, and asked me "can you pay for me first and I will pay you back" but they never paid me back, I finally realized the fake friends had scammed me for a free lunch - I AM NOW FRIEND-FREE.
In the words of the Who "we won't get fooled again!" Lol
Cutting out a toxic friend group that has been plaguing my life for years was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Same for me. A hug from Brasil
Congratulations 🎉
Well done on your rebirth.
Some of the stupidest choices I have ever made were made because society "told" me that if I didn't I wasn't "normal". Got married for this reason and it was a horrible experience. I really enjoy being by myself and I feel that is my natural state of being for the most part.
I'm with you on that Jen :)
Isolation is addicting. Your name becomes less involved in confusion and drama. I became much happier when I stopped communicating with people. Most of my stress came from having friends and communicating to regularly with family.
There are good honest people out there I promise. As a human being we are not meant to be alone. We are social beings of course with the right social influences. But I understand what you are saying Ms. and best of luck to you.
Alot of people cant be alone with themselves, i love my own company doing what i love, or want to do, its peaceful ☮️😊🙏🏻
I have no friends or family. Most of my family is dead or dead to me and I genuinely enjoy my life more than ever.
Facts
Good for you Sophia! Pretty much the same here.
Same! We got this!
💯
Doing what?
The one who walks alone has the strongest direction 💯
Musashi Miyamoto The Way of Walking Alone
What does this means?
43 single and single. No family no friends. What keep me alive is a good job and knowing myself and loving God and my neighbors. I think that's enough.
I grew up with lots of friends, only to realize later in life that those friendships were because I was so messed up and was a people pleaser. It wasn't till those relationships were tested - including familial - that I realized how shallow and fake they were; now at 60 I'm left with one sibling and 2 friends. Finally at peace
Gosh ..same here
I'm so proud of myself to have been able to realize that 12 years ago at 24 years old
The last few yrs the so called friends that I’ve known for more than a decade turned out to be traitors, idk what happened; perhaps ppl change or perhaps their true color is finally showing! Took my kindness for granted and betrayed my loyalty. I believe Karma will catch up with them tho.
Ditto.
1 real friend is priceless while 1 fake friend can be deadly.
I am 75 years old, I am always alone wherever I am ,I am the happier person.People who loved to have friends ,are the one with no confidents.
Confidence. And you're right!
I purposely removed everyone from my life. I feel so much better. No drama at all. I work from home I don't leave the house. I have everything delivered. I'm not a shut in I just love being alone. I've been like this since around 2010.
I don’t blame you tbh. I stopped hanging out like that around 2020 and I have gained so much peace because of it
I work from home too and get everything I need delivered! I really don’t leave the house much either…
I got my cat, comfy home, good food and I go outside to get fresh air and take walks in town when it’s nice. 👍 most people just drain me. I love being alone ❤
@Pepperthecat11 I 100% know what you mean. I was never happy before. One day I realized you really have to be happy with yourself. Another person isn't going to make you happy.
I thought I had some kind of depression but all it was is people are exhausting. I don't get mad or anything ever. I'm glad your doing well to. There's nothing wrong with being alone.
@@jackinmyhoggoff807 same! I thought there was something wrong with me. I used to go out partying a lot and had a ton of “friends” in my 20s.
I’m 34 now, and I don’t drink or smoke anymore and stay home all the time…never been happier or more productive. Glad you are happy too-being a homebody is honestly awesome
Awesome!😊
l’m almost 53 and have absolutely no friends or family… who cares, l only miss my mom, l could care less about anyone else.
I feel like you are me in the future.
Yup. Everyone else can fuckk off
I'm the same. I'm 47 and have absolutely no one. Not one single friend or family
Same, 41F here! @@rebekah4078
Can I be your friend?
Friends come and go. They will backstab you, borrow money, and never pay back, they get mad when you ask to get paid back, like what???? I thought we were friends?? theres no such thing as a friend anymore. My " best friend " borrowed tons of money during his divorce and bankruptcy. When he was doing well again. Even bought himself a pickup truck, big off road tires, a Harley motorcycle, furniture his new home. I asked when he can repay the thousands I let him borrow. He got reeeeaaally mad. Like u have the nerve to ask your friend for money???? What an ungrateful person. I guess he learned how to steal, manipulate, backstab people working as a Corrections Officer in New York. Right Michael H.
There has never been such a thing, only smoke and mirrors.
bro are you ok?
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384he outta pocket but he's right😂😂😂
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384no, I'm bitter. I plan on dwelling on it so my daughter sees it. She won't be trusting , naive, with smooth, smiling, people, while their hands are reaching for your wallet
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384still bitter
Im not alone.. i walk and talk with Jesus christ daily❤❤
Amen, me too!
Jesus Christ is written with a capital letter, GOD bless you.
I only need JESUS
@@Heseesyou Amen, blessed GOD thank you for everything, especially for sending your Son Jesus Christ so that our sins could be forgiven and we could be saved.
Why doesn't your Jesus make people nicer? 😅
This younger generation is very honest and open about their issues. Back in the day people wouldn't ever admit to having any friends bc it feels like social rejection. Having just one good friend you can talk to is the best thing. As you get older, you do not want to be alone.
I just entered my 30s, on the verge of earning my (MA) Masters.
Both of my parents, who are still my heroes, passed away when I was 8.
I couldn't care any less about anyone else. I just focus on my life.
sorry you lost your parents so young. congrats on getting your Masters degree. That's a huge accomplishment. I hope you can find a loving special person one day but I think you're wise to focus on your own life. Just don't give up hope for connection. That's what we were made for. Take care. W
@@wordswordswords8203 Wow, thank you for this reply. I'll never give up on human connectivity, nor am I seeking it. I think because of my parents showering me with their attention and love, when I was a little boy, before they died - as an adult, I never feel the need for "love" outside of myself or from anyone else.
If I somehow meet someone and we have a kid or two, then that's fine. Although, if that were to never happen; that too, is also fine. I wish you well, friend 🙂👍
@@waedjradi Thank you! I'm glad you have that inner stability.
Selfish AF
After all that time, what is the grief like today?
I once had "friends." But they only came to me when they fuck their lives up or need money. Once they get what they want, I'm back to being invisible. It's better to be alone than being a means to an end for everybody.
Most of the people I know just end up talking about when you aren't around. You know this when other 'friends' leave and they start talking about them.
Exactly.
That is so true !
My mum always said "You Have To Learn To Like Your Own Company"....She's gone now..... She was Right...
I'm 38 and I always had friends around me.. from good to toxic .. I finally realized that only I can make myself happy.. I've been friendless for 5 years now.. I got into hobbies and goals and a peace of mind
There’s definelty advantages of being alone, there’s a lot of drama associated with most relationships
True, but let's face it, we all want friends and family that we like. Life is much more fulfilling that way if we can have it. Humans are not ment to be alone for long periods of time.
@@boratsagdiyev522Introverts *cough*cough*. 😗
@@boratsagdiyev522 "Humans are not ment to be alone for long periods of time.": proofs ?
I’m not alone I have a small family and a couple friends. But I am the most alone I have been in life. I was reading my study Bible just yesterday and it said alone and lonely are not the same! Amen
Same.. I used to *dread* going to family holiday gatherings 🙄 drama, passive-aggression, rudeness etc.. I swear people have nothing positive or interesting to talk about so they just make up the most lame shit.
Finally I decided I don't want to force myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing anymore and I've never been happier 💗 holidays are now peaceful & beautiful ✨
😂-- they over eat, then somebody farts, then they don't talk for a year, and then they do it again
@gr5382 😂-- that's bad, sounds like Biden sending an email to Kim
Does your family give you crap for not attending fam gatherings?
'' drama, passive-aggression, rudeness etc.. I swear people have nothing positive or interesting to talk about so they just make up the most lame shit.''
Sounds exactly like my 'family'!
😂-- they pretend to be the ideal family until somebody wraps the toilet seat around the neighbors tree
I got friend in Jesus
Where ever i go he goes
Who else do i need.
I love this!
I made a very conscious choice to overnight delete social media, acquaintances, fake friends, and family. My soul felt empty with these people and an app knowing things about my personal life that I put out there, trying to gain some type of fake acceptance, was played out. I disappeared overnight and I have so much peace in my life now. My business grew, I took the time to cook better and learn a new language, and I have a few chosen quality people around me who had the same goals. There's no need for this abundance of social activity to lead a healthy and happy life, this is just another thing society tells us. I find solace in being hard to find, I have no desire to be like everyone else.
Greta video! I’m 35 and deleted my social media and stepped away from drinking with friends/partying. I go to gym. Spending time in prayer church and family. It’s positive gains! Thank you for your positivity. We are blessed to have this singleness and other distractions.
Agree!! All we need is Jesus 🙏🏼✝️
You outgrew everyone🎉
Keep going🏅
I used to get pushed away by people since I was very little. I began to accept the thought that I was never going to fit in society's activities. I learned that I enjoy creating art. Photography became another joy for me. I learned how to compose music. I wrote a few books. Completed me educational goals. I 'm still taking college courses. I stopped drinking in 1996. I learned that being alone, and pushed away wasn't so bad. I knew someone that didn't want to associate with me, because I didn't have a high school diploma. I got my high school diploma then one day I saw them on the street. I walked by them like I didn't know them. They never recognized me, because I had changed. I looked really good. Better than when we last spoke. I just kept walking by. I felt happy, and didn't need them as a friend. I became successful by myself without the need to be around others. It wasn't my fault. I was pushed away. I built my own world. I'm happy.
You are ENOUGH. 👍
Amen dear
Congratulations 🎊 on your new life and success. 😊😊
I ❤ this for you
I realized that I prefer my own company. Friends are huge waste of time and money. In the past I was always investing much much more human energy and resources in friendships which were one sided. I could also say the same when it came to dating and romance. I’ve given up on both and I feel fine. I guess I m not cool enough good looking enough but I’m ok with that and I m finally gonna take time to know me and learn to like myself because at the end of the day that’s the only true friend who will have my back.
Sounds like a massive cope. Socializing with friends is pretty essential to the human experience.
Relationships and friendships are always one-sided and not reciprocated by individuals. It seems that one person contributes more or less than the other person. It's all a scam and sets one up to be exploited and abused
At the end of the day, you're all you have and no one else
Not at all.@@dontbelongherefromanother
@@nick8670no it’s not. People used to need each way more that’s why we think we’re “social creatures”
The matrix is slowly collasping from the "survivors" point of view.. Pity parties are old.. Generations need to catch up on a galactic interstellar level. I wish everyone luck on their spiritual soul journey. May the peace find you all one day on earth. Blessings. ❤
I'm an introvert. I thrive online yet I barely exist IRL. No social life = no drama. Only peace & quiet. I'm okay with that.
The world rewards extroverts the most. There needs to be more positive avenues for introverts.
Sad.
@@insertmyidentityherenot completely if you have a balance
I have nobody but God and the angels
Rapture soon! ⚡⚡
blessings for you
And my Son that’s truthfully it
Amen
Be blessed
Feeling loneliness is a call to oneself. Your soul needs something that no one else can properly provide.
When I saw myself alone I could see the beauty around me. There was no pulling of distraction. Just me, and my mind in silence. It's total silence.
Very wise comment!
Thank you 🙂
@@normapadro420I had a very similar experience. There’s so much going on around us.
If you believe that soul non sense
Bro....i'm 45. My only true friend is my wife. As for family, they are too much work and a waste of time.
Same here with my husband. No drama with no family, is a relief.
Same here just my wife and kids ❤
Well imagine people.who have no wives or kids.... so it's important to make meaningful connections.
Same here my partner our grown kids and my mom,happy and content with just them.🙏
@@dianagonzales5113 Same here. I have no gf or kids ;(
I grew up with a lot of family and friends around me, until I realised they all used me, so I got rid of all of them.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagramm?
Yes he is dr.porassss
I feel blessed when i am alone. No one to bother, no one to disturb.
The only time I feel really painfully alone is when I travel. When I am at the airport and know no one cares. No one waits. No one messages me in general. I have no emergency contact to leave at work. Or no one to give my second apartment key to. That is why financial stress makes me sick and miserable. I have only myself to rely on. It was always like that and it will be always like that. Even my own parents never cared for me, they even were jealous of everything I had, even of me smiling. I learned how to whole heartedly laugh when I had my own apartment and was safe... Without being afraid of rage out of the blue from people I should be able to trust. Most people out there just don't develop their emotional intelligence and refuse to grow mentally. Not my problem anymore. I'm out and walk my own lonely but peaceful path.
I am a hardcore lone wolf, the only time I have a problem with being on my own is when I'm sick and there is no one to care for you
I understand! Same Here!! 😢
@@Kelly-oe8krthen care for someone else. God will send you someone.
For me it’s being hospitalised… esp during “ visiting hours “. Literally the only patient ( room of 8 ) without a single visitor… 😮😮😮😮😮
@@food4444lyfe I understand.Went to Turkey alone to have a stomach surgery. No one even knew, no one cares anyway. Reminds me of the time when I was in hospital as a 6 year old for a small heart surgery. I was in Munih for a week, all alone. My father just dropped me there from Frankfurt and was gone... Not even my mother called.
The most important friend you need is yourself. After that you need some friends and some family.
No the most important friend and only friend you need or I need is Jesus Christ, the Son of God who came to earth as a human and died on the cross to pay a debt we cannot pay so we no longer HAVE to be separated from God! Accepting that free gift (not cheap, but freely given) and trust in Him, read the Bible to learn what pleases Him, what He hates! Time is almost up. Accept Him now before He comes to take His bride home for the wedding. After that the worst times EVER on the earth and to trust in Him then WILL cost your life. The anti Christ, a human indwelt by Satan will seek out believers and kill them. So choose Him now. The door is closing soon. I am not talking about religion, God wants relationship with you! Friendship, not enemies of God.
agreed
@@beaulieuc8910Amen!!
@@DaughteroftheKing67Amen!!!
I can completely relate. Sometimes it’s even more dangerous to be in the company of family because when you have a medical emergency they won’t help you. They will accuse you of faking it.
Yep. And I don't want them having power over whether I live or die when faced with such medical decisions, so I'm going to do a living will.
One thing I've learned in life. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely.
Hell is other people
I LOVE not having close ties with family. And I have dumped all my friends. I have no regrets. Best decision I have ever made.
All my life I've had no friend, just acquaintances and coworkers. I used to live on my own, but now I live with my sister. Before it kind of bothered me that I didn't have a single friend. But now I'm grateful because I've learned to enjoy my own company and I am at peace. Everyone has their own problems, some have more than others. Once you learn to not create your own problems, it's hard to be around those that do.
I am turning 50 years old and these word really touched me. I have been very happy all my life and felt joy being alone. Yes I’m married and have acquaintances but I don’t have a bestie, bro, or BFF type. My wife is concerned I don’t socialize with others the way she does. I don’t even talk to my mother, father or sister much and it mutual because we are there for each other if needed. People need to realize that some humans just function better alone.
I'm one of those people. I am not a victim, however people are exhausting and I am a very "deep" person. I am mostly misunderstood because I don't do what everyone else does. So it is more compassionate for me to stay to myself. My husband is the only person that tries to understand me.
Very truth. It's better to be alone with yourself to cultivate self-improvement that will lead to peace and happiness than in a toxic environment that distracts and sabotages your growth. Congrats Martin for coming to this realization.
i love having zero people to be accountable for
Me too!! It’s the best!
That’s one thing I love being a loner for the most part
What a refreshing video to watch. I am an older person and all my life I was told to make friends.
You are told there is something wrong with you if you have no friends. Even before social media, TV made you a failure if you weren't the cool person. I have learned to enjoy my own company and enjoy the silent times. Social media is not reality. You are a smart man. Most people only have a few good friends in their lives. As for family, I have none. Sometimes it is the luck of the draw. But I am okay.
Your video only reaffirmed what I knew all this time. Being true to yourself is the best reward. Having tons of friends, social media, distract one from their purpose in life. Thank you for a great video. I hope others draw inspiration as I have. 🎉
Finally a positive person, I always wondered why everyone complaining about not having friends, I'm glad to be alone, too many backstabbing friends these days
I find some family interaction very painful. After being knifed once too many times, Ive chosen to walk away.
@@SIERRATREES They will hate you for that. Trust me! LOL
One time I confided to my so called friends about a mistake I did at work. I felt so heavy inside and I needed to vent it to people I feel safe around. The response I got was smirk and side eye plus "It's all your fault." These are women aging from 30-35 who I've known for years, I felt so unseen and unloved. No kindness at all.
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely🧘🏽♂️🌍☀️🌙🌠
Yes the less friend the more peace in life . Very true . Gods love is the only love that counts .
Yes Amen ✝️🙏
It is God's love that will wash away all our earthly moments and fully restore us with the light of gladness. All else means nothing. We won't look back.
Amen. I only ever truly need God! God provides!
I deliberately have no friends … and no family
Search for the Vedas and secret of Universe. One time youll should be with someone. I am like you and very stronger person. A hug from Brasil
@Sabrinaescoperes So fine !!
I Rock with God, blessed with 2 narcissistic parents, parental Alienation and neglect was my world. ZERO family and no fake friends, I do better Solo
yoooooo !!!!!!!!
@@LuvKitKatt Many Stitches, many broken bones homeless by 15 Marine Corps by 17 (SOLID 15 YEAR CAREER) survived a bad situation, no one's victim because I'm the one that got away. I survived
SAME
Same here, brother.
Same 😊
Family are vultures. They think they are entitled to your assets because they are your family.
Same here and I'm still thankful to God
He is our friend
We are in the last days. God is coming soon to bring His people home. Repent of you're sins and get baptized. Be born again by believing and being saved to go to eternal life. Jesus is The Only Way. Have a relationship with Him. He loves you and cares for you're soul. Believe and be saved according to The Book of Romans 10:9. Accept Him as you're personal Lord and Savior. Hear His Word, The Holy Bible, stay in prayer and help others. I am here for prayer. I'm just sharing The Good News. God bless.
Yes I have God as my friend that's the main thing 🙏 Amen
Most especially, they will only remember you when they need something from you. Money money money!!
When the friends who dumped me for hitting hard times, realise those times are over, the door is shut to them at my place.
There is no return. It's not that I'm unforgiving, it's just that I'm not stupid.
We have 3 children and our middle son was always a loner. Never was invited for birthdays and had to deal with racism. When I talked about it with him, he didn't seem to care at all. Now there are some children who like him and wants to play with him, but he is just better off alone. And one time when I was painting and at the same time watching tutorials, he was watching tv and playing with his lego, drawing and sometimes in his bedroom to live in his fantasy world like pretending he's a hero, that he can fly etc. he told me "Mama. These are my happiest moments." He didn't felt pressure from me that we HAVE to do something, like my husband always wants to do things with us: games, playing music, going out for a walk. And that is a good thing of course. But I also discovered that I prefer just to be alone because deep in my heart I'm a loner too.
54 and my family always think I am strange because I prefer to be alone. I enjoyed my own company and many ppl thinks I am not normal because I can go to dinner or movies by myself. As I got older I realized how great it was to be alone and I treasured my simple life and come to realization that being alone doesn’t mean lonely. When I have to go to family gatherings or friends social I find I get anxiety as most times it’s shallow and chaotic. You are correct when you are alone you accomplished many things faster
Are you married?
We are Twins! Can we be Friends please?
@@lysianeamougou definitely.reach out anytime 😀
Wow, I am totally agree with you. I never feel so peaceful right now. Because I have kind heart and I am a people pleaser, people do take advantage of me friends and family. I came to a nervous breakdown. I finally get a hold of myself and take care of me. These are toxic people. Now, I love my isolation, quiet and alone. So now, I do reading more, gardening, finally I find peace. Moving forward, I stop let others people influence me or change me. Thank you for your message . Love it. ❤
I took a step back from friends in my 20's and never bothered with them again. Then I started to find out the truth about the character assassination they used to do on each other including me.
One person who I thought was my best friend in my early 20's and was in college and working part time. I always bought lunch and helped out because I was working full time. He turned round to me one day and declared "Oh I'm buying a house."
"How an earth can you buy a house?" I asked
"Oh I managed to save up £40K for the deposit."
Yeah he had been giving everyone the pity story and living of us and stashing his cash for a few years. Once he got the house he started lording it over everyone.
I just walked away from that friendship!!
No family and hardly any friends and very happy.
Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning and being able to do whatever you fancy without anyone criticising, demanding or giving you a guilt trip. Also another big deal is it's my money, my house and I will do whatever i please.
4:16 you're right, it's better to be alone than have friends who have bad habits like alcoholism and drug abuse.
its not really friendship though. i would never consider anyone, who has such bad habits that inflict negativity on me, a friend. Same goes for family.
Everyone has bad habits, its not a reason to cut someone off unless its to the point to where they are actively encouraging you to partake in something you know you shouldn't.
@@nick8670 if you hang out with wise ones, you will be wise. If you deal with stupid ones, you will fair badly.
I agree, you should choose your friends wisely, but having a problem with substances doesn't make you inherently stupid.@@AZrakoon
@@nick8670 Why waste time on people that are ruining their own lives?. They can drown alone
Great video, i am 52 and an orphan, my insight is that it all worked out. I have a beautiful network and memories. Hang in there everyone. ❤
I grew up in an alcoholic family. The town I grew up in everybody drank. I drank to fit in. For a while I did fit in, but when I branched off to get healthy and get my finances in order, people don’t like that. They feel like we are arrogant when we want to make these positive changes and have to leave them behind. I made the choice to drink but it is so bad for you. I would never drink again. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I just want to be peaceful, happy and healthy and sleep well and that’s enough for me. The Bible is real. The Cain and Abel scenario is real, so is the Joseph and his brother story. My point is, family and friends are usually the first to betray you and that has been my experience.
Amen
My theory is they're the first to betray you, because they know your weaknesses. And when someone knows your weaknesses, they will use that to judge you rather than lift you up.
@@pegpenguin They know your strengths too, and that is more challenging for them. Because just by existing, you remind them of what they are not.
@@deborahcurtis1385 That is very true Deborah, I tend to forget, but that's probably because if I have any strengths, they are hidden, so they go unnoticed.
@@pegpenguin The strengths are not hidden nor unnoticed. If you are more virtuous, harder working or kinder for example than some friends or family, it can make them hate themselves. So they hate you instead. The more discreet you are the more unegotisical, the more they will hate you. It's their problem but don't forget your strengths. Go harder and hold your head up high.
I too value being alone but the truth is, we are here to create relationships. People have become so untrustworthy, narcissistic, and dangerous, that it has become a challenge to do so.
Martin I think you are right that a person needs to be comfortable and fulfilled with their own company. I am in my 50's and have had periods of many friends and periods of loneliness after several moves to different states. I think it is not good to be so alone. You seem like a wonderful, intelligent, sensitive, kind person. It is good to find people similar to you in wisdom and kindness. Making friends takes effort and discernment. Good luck.
I feel more happy alone than I do around people I have experienced nothing but abuse and pain and humiliation around people I dislike humanity I became a misanthrope
Facts ^
Same
It’s simple math and science. You have to be insane to continue on with your abusers
After being divorced I have no friends and only 1 family member left who lives 1000 miles away. I feel isolated and alone, but I'm trying to make the best of it. Never drank, did drugs or smoked. Only focus on survival each day.
Can I be your friend? If you don't mind... I am lonely but I try to survive everyday and try to be positive. Enjoy everyday and be happy as you can be !
Move to the beach , smoke 🥦
Ftw 😂
Try to reframe not having family or friends and being in survival mode by telling yourself you get a blank slate, no toxic people wanting to shame you for your past. You can reinvent yourself and be whoever you want to be.
@@Kelly-oe8kr That's a great way to look at it. Thank you.
@@Kelly-oe8kryess.. You can reinvent yourself! The past no longer matters. The past doesn't exist anymore
Ever since I been on my self love journey after a toxic ex girlfriend broke my heart I been rocking solo and I saw all my so called friends disappeared when I started putting myself first. Best thing I ever did. I’m in better shape than I was before. My creativity has gone through the roof. I love myself more than I ever did in my teenage years or ever. My happiness has skyrocketed. I could go on and on. And there’s a huge difference in being alone and being lonely. Even around a crowd of people I felt more lonely than when I was by myself
same
The less I have to deal with people, the happier and more peaceful I am. I'm sick of dealing with other people's drama, and I refuse to do it anymore.
You are very smart and self aware. I know a guy who I dated and it didn't work out but we keep in touch. For 10 years straight he had no life and worked Monday - Sunday. He is 36 years old now & has built himself up to retirement. He literally could retire if he wanted to. He oversees his large roofing business on the East Coast and is set for life. I look and think wow !! He was always the oddball out from people I hung out with but now he has the leisure travel back and forth to south america which he does a couple times a month and to and continues to build his business. I commend him so much for never following the crowd. I appreciate you speaking out on looking at things on the positive in building things on your own regardless.
Exactly, I am ALONE but NOT LONELY. I just built a ebay store over the past 9 months. starting from scratch just learning on utube. I would never have been able to build and now provide for myself in a better way owning and operating my own Ebay store if I had lots of freinds and family that needed my time. Being alone and more introverted has enabled me to become more satisfied with myself gave me time to build a future for myself. I could have been pulled in so many directions with lots of friends and family that I never did anything for myself and wake up one day only playing a part in someone else life and not my own. Thank you for this video, being alone but not lonely is a blessing if you put it in perspective and are able to make moves to capitalize on it.
How much do you make?
This is wonderful.
Finally someone who thinks the same, i like to socialize a little as a human, but I don’t like to be close to ppl and have them in my house.
I love my peace and happiness. I have no friends but I'm friendly to anyone in public that likes to have a small chat about the weather or chat about their pet.Thats as far as it goes.But I do love people. I just love them from a distance. ❤❤❤
Are u me?😂❤
@@oxytoxic7006I am she and she is me 😂😂😂
😅😅😅 we are sisters from another countries
This is my life🎉
I HEAR THIS !!! Its amazing how with the small chat, in an instant, there can be genuine warmth and humor.
We are not alone. I am walking with Christ, focusing on goals which I am accomplishing 1 at a time. I don't focus on fitting in with the masses. And yes, I have joy and the peace that surpasses understanding.
62 years young, no friends, no family except for our three children and my husband. My personal freedom means a lot to me so I learned to manage my time wisely. When it comes to 'friendship' I am critical of who I let in to my life. If you want to be the soul that you are and live a life according to your values, it means you have to let go of the 'one-fit-all- model' society wants you te be. It means being oké with having no or just one good 'friend', which has a lot to do with how you see and experience yourself, the people around you and the world you live in. It's a gradual proces, a journey where you discover who you are and what works for you. Take it step by step. What has worked for me, is learning how to be my own best friend first. Thanks for sharing your story. :)
Being young is such a blessing. Now I'm 59 I know.
With all due respect what age would you say is the peak of youth and what age would you say youth ends? Thank you.
@@insanoibro6331 I'm 62. You asked "what is the peak of youth and what age does youth end?" What do you mean by "peak"? "Peak" in what sense? If you mean biologically, it's probably around your mid-20s, and you probably can't say you are "young" (biologically) once you hit 30" If you mean "peak" financially or materially, then it's probably in your 40s or 50s. If you mean "peak" in terms of your ability to attract women, it's probably about 40. If you mean "peak" in terms of your own personal happiness or contentment, I'd say it's 60+. Or at least, that's how it's been for me. As you get older, you don't have the physique and energy that you used to, but you have learned a lot, grown so much in confidence and competence, become able to set aside so much Bullshit that plagues the young, and after a lot of false starts and mistakes, you build a good life for yourself. That's been my experience, anyhow.
@@Arven8 thanks for the response sir. I'm almost in my mid twenties almost 24 just feel like it's getting late to really turn my life around before im stuck in my bad habits.
@@insanoibro6331 Never too late! I'm still working on breaking myself of bad habits and I'm 62, lol.
I believe you didn't reach your skills level at this age so you are still young but...lazy maybe?
This also made me consider the fact that having friends and having acquaintances are two different things. If you’re following your interests, you can at least find like-minded people to can have good conversations with. That kind of fulfills your social needs without having to have “friends”.
One problem is that we do not understand friendship as a society any longer. We call people friends who join our Facebook page or group. A true friend requires what any other serious relationship requires: loyalty, respect, humility, love, and a desire to make each other better. It is a critical and important relationship in making a civilization. Yes, alone time is necessary and beneficial too, but friendship is a necessity personally and for society. However, we should work toward having a small circle of true friends instead of numbers of friends. Many comments here claim that there are too many back-stabbing friends or unloyal friends "these days." People have not changed. They are the same as always. The ancient philosophers provide great insight into how we should choose our friends and how it's necessary to remove yourself from anyone who is not a true friend. It is better to have one or two close friends than 1000 Facebook "friends" or hangout friends.
So true. Society likes to push us to make friends since we're young and it's frowned upon to be lonely. The thing is society never taught us what is a friend. A friend shouldn't be just anyone you know or hang out with. It needs to be someone working towards similar goals as you or at the very least someone who can be there with you to have a genuine conversation and connection without the need to have a degenerate activity to do together (drinking, partying, playing video game, smoking, etc).
It’s tech that has retired people to be lonesome and isolated
@hiitsmartin It's probably always been like that to a certain extent, but you just hear about it more with social media. Although, your generation stayed in the house all day in front of a screen, so that's most definitely contributed to it.
I’m 22 and same . Most people aren’t worth it. Only short conversations are good. But it’s like once you get close to them, they do you wrong and act weird
By chance would you like to be friends then? I’m a 25 year old male from the Caribbean island of Trinidad. And I like connecting with others if possible to share different perspectives on things, to share different cultures and just give out. If you don’t want to that’s okay, I understand
My son met a policeman at a restaurant and they had a conversation about friends, and being lonely. I will never forget what that policeman told my son! He said you are so lucky to not have any friends! They will try to persuade you to do things that can be harmful, or just plain stupid! He said that it’s better for you to be alone. Volunteer for charity work. You will see quite a few people who made bad decisions. It will teach you many lessons!
I use to be social having many friends but one by one they all started to fall off when I decided to do something with my life. Now looking back, all of them were envious of me sneaking in these subliminal disses when we hang out.
Now a days I feel so emotionally rejuvenated and refreshing. Zero care of these fake MF’s who were never a true friend to begin with..Btw when you cut yourself out of these people’s life, the feelings of not giving a F’k gives you all the powers! You control the game because they don’t know which direction to attack you 🙌🏼
Friends are a positive thing, but not anyone of the world. That is the problem, the world is vibrating at a lower level to me, filled with hate, sexual imorality, corruption and all the rest. With no immediate family I walk alone, but not alone as God fills the void. You walk with God he fills your heart with peace and with peace you are happy, content.
Yes!! I just posted a comment bout low level vibration. I litterly know it's just human failures.
Amen 💯
Amen 🙏🏾
Im one of those people with no friends and no reliable immediate family but the people around me are toxic. Makes me appreciate my alone time more.
I started isolating myself when I was 24 because I realized how fake and toxic people can be. I grew up having no friends and never had a relationship before. I love isolation because it protects my inner peace and preserves my sanity.
Worthwhile best video I’ve seen today! Nameste🙏🏽