This song sounds like failing all your tests, being ghosted by online friends, coming home from school when it's already dark out, returning to your old bad habits, dissociating in class, walking around with dead leaves stuck in your shoelaces, realizing how lonely you actually are, drinking caffeine again after quitting for a long time, not sleeping enough, wearing an all black outfit every day again, spending your lunch break alone, spending too much time daydreaming and reconsuming your comfort media for the one hundredth time while being scared you'll grow tired of it eventually or maybe that's just my personal flavor of mental illness
Fun fact: The line "Cause 6 is not a pretty number, 8 or 3 are definitely better" is in reference to blood alcohol levels. 0.3 is sober, 0.8 is drunk and 0.6 is tipsy.
@@celestoone is more than one person not allowed to share a piece of knowledge? is there not a chance that both i and someone else commented the same thing around the same time and didn't know someone else also commented it?
2:06 feels so relatable when you have grown up with toxic friends resembling the “alcoholic friends” and what ever you do to try and make them like you they see it as you are trying to be better than them. Or in the phrase “the party never ends” at least for me resembles that no matter what friends you will have they will always be the same and you will have to go through the same thing .a never ending one in this case.
Yeah, feels that way. Or when those "alcoholic friends" never get along, and you, being raised in arguements non-stop, you just leave until they calm down. But then, they take it against you, blaming you for hurting them this way, and call you immature for blocking them whenever an arguement starts between you and them. And lie to your face non-stop, use your symphathy, and blame you for alot of things being your fault so that's why they lied.
2:05 “Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am?!” “ *NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!* ” “What are you?! Stupid?! Of course nobody is gonna understand you!” -Shinji Ikari and Asuka Soryu, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then...what am I? Is this my true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? Nobody understands me!
2:05 why does this part give me dazai vibes so much.. like it's describing his now and past state pretty good "should I choose a noble occupation?" should he haven't been in the port mafia? maybe he shouldn't have gone with mori "if i did i'd only show up late and sick. and they would stare at me with hatred" he most days goes to the agency late or sometimes never. it probably annoys everyone (especially kunikida ig) also he probably thinks agency members don't like him so much (but dw, in fact they care about him. especially kunikida. he calls him in the morning every single day to be sure he's alive or ate something. and in one of the novels they said they don't let dazai die. even tho they don't show, everyone loves him) "plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends" he's a literal genius yk. he was one of the important members in the mafia. he has lots of useful features (such as being able to control his heart etc.) despite that, he left there just bc of his best friend wanted that. (sorry if there's any gramer mistakes. english isn't my first language :3) and if you wonder, name of the anime is "bungo stray dogs"
“I’ll be on my best behavior Taking shots for Mother Nature” I think it’s a reference to an older song “Everybody wants to rule the world “Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on Mother Nature”
This song is oddly specific, Depression, Dissociation, hatred for yourself and others, untold trauma, religious trauma, shutting yourself up so you wont upset someone only for them to see you as weird or rude, you want to be worth something great. Its very relatable
This song seriously takes me back when I was at my lowest. A couple months ago I was empty, getting only an hour of sleep due to staying up all night hearing my parents fight and getting ready to go in to help my mom incase things got physical, never washing my makeup, bags under my eyes, low grades, not being able to focus in class, getting left out of my friend group, running away from home and go back a couple hours later cause I was worried about not knowing where to go cause I had no connections and no one to go to, crying all the time, having panic attacks in school and hiding in the school restrooms, wearing the same dirty ass shoes I never washed, failing everything losing an unhealthy amount of weight and I'm only 14. It's crazy how much meeting a person could change me entirely.
"should I choose a noble occupation, if I did I'd only show up late and sick, and they would stare at me with hatred. plus my only natural talent's wasted" i feel it
(lyrics for whoever needs them) I'm counting back The number of the steps It took for me to get Back on the wagon of the weekend I'll use the auto-timer to prove that I'll Get home with my imagination If they find the body in the basement "In the very house that she was raised in" I'm taking down The number of the Times So when we get the sign From God I'll be the first to call them I'm taking back the number of the beast 'Cause six is not a pretty number Eight or three are definitely better A is for the address on the letter To my alcoholic friends I'm trying hard Not to be ashamed Not to know the name Of who is waking up beside me Or the date, the season or the city But at least the ceiling's very pretty And if you are holding it against me I'll be on my best behavior Taking shots for mother nature Once my fist is in the cupboard Love is never falling over (Hey) Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends My alcoholic friends The party never ends My alcoholic friends
I don't know what the song is about but it gives me the vibes of someone slowly going crazy, because of the people who they are friends with/the people that surround them
!! fun lil back story no one asked for! this is actually about amandas time being a prostitute + being raped. this song correlates with " sex changes " & " dear jenny "
The fact that the name of my toxic friend starts with A, they’re an alcoholic and my last and worst depressive episode was 6 months long makes this song resonate extra hard
This gives me the vibes of finally reaching THAT stage of being a teenager when you do start getting drunk and going to parties with mates and all of that, and both feeling liberated and ashamed of yourself for it
Everyone's talking about fandoms, meanwhile I'm just standing here, wondering if anybody else noticed the referance to "Everybody wants to rule the World" in the bridge
I’m making a list of what fandom people relate this song to so far I have •Little nightmares (specifically “six is not my favourite number”) •Camp Camp •Walten files: Felix •Dream SMP: Tubbo, Tommy and Quackity (for Quackity its specifically because of his storyline with Schlatt) •Shinji Ikari kins •Bungo stray dogs •Wings of Fire: Peril •Sk♾ the infinity •Five nights at Freddy’s/fnaf: Micheal, Fritz and Jeremy aka the night guards and the dead children (specifically “if they find the body in the basement”) •Doki Doki Literature club: Monika •Genshin Impact: The traveler aka Aether or Lumine (specifically “all my natural talents are wasted”) and Nahida aka lesser lord Kusanali (specifically “cause six (herself) is not a pretty number, eight or three (the other archons and greater lore Rhukkatavata) are definitely better.” and “I’ll be on my best behaviour taking shots for Mother Nature” these lyrics relate to her trying to show her people the same comfort the Greater Lord did but them not caring for her in the slightest) (damn Genshin impact lore got really deep woah) And finally the character Chide/Tartiglia I’m feeling brave so I’m gonna try to put this request’s explanation into a nutshell so someone pls tell me if ive fucked up at any point! Anyways the lyrics “natural talent” refers to Chide only valuing himself as a being a soldier for Tsaritsa, he had a dysfunctional childhood which lead to him becoming an unstable adult and the lyrics “and if you are holding it against me” and “they would stare at me with hatred” are vocalising his anxiety of what his siblings would think of his career if they knew about it the line “should I choose a noble occupation” further expressing this fear while also showing his relationship with the Fatui, the “alcoholic friends” mentioned in the song could be the fatui themselves •Omori: Sunny •Helluva Boss: Blitzø and Barbie Wire •Fruit Baskets: Kyo Sohma (specifically “I’m taking back the number of the beast”) •Attack On Titans •Undertale: Flowey and Sans (specifically fanon Sans) •Encanto (specifically “cause six/Bruno is not a pretty number eight/Julietta or three/Pepa are definitely better) •Deltarune: Kris •Southpark •Bojack Horseman (wow how tf was this not on the list earlier) •Demon Slayer: Suma, Genya and Akaza •Call Of Duty Zombies: Ultimis Richtofen •Marble Hornets •Sally Face •Danganrompa v2: Goodbye Despair: Hajime Hinata, Akane Owari (danganrompa characters have really depressing backstories woah.) •Unbrella Academy •Creepypasta: Ticci Toby •Moral Orel: Clay Puppington, Reverend Putty •Doctor Stone •Asagiri Gen •Vampire in the garden: Fine •Harry Potter/Maruaders: Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black (I have a friend who would get soo mad at me for calling the Maruaders Harry Potter..) •Toilet bound Hanako Kun/tbhk: Hanako and Teru •Rick and Morty: Rick •Mandela Catalogue: Thatcher Davis •Your Turn to Die: Sara Chidouin •Scum Villain’s Self Saving System: Shen Jiu and Shen Qingqiu (specifically “should I choose a noble occupation, if I did I’ll only show up late and sick”) •Panty and Stocking: Panty (specifically “I’m trying hard not to know the name of who is waking up beside me”) •Team Fortress 2: Demoman •Buggaloo (edit: I think,,, I think the person who said this one was making a joke,, still keeping it just incase but I feel so stupid 😭) •Roomates: Nathan •Eddsworld: Tord and Tom •Cookie Run Kingdom: Vampire Cookie (dude’s literally an alcoholic) •Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared/DHMIS: Lesley (for me at least) •We Need To Talk About Kevin: Eva •D20 Neverafter: Gerard and Pinocchio (specifically “taking back the number of the beast” for Pinoke “the beast” referring to stepmother, and now I think about the kid is probably an alcoholic) •The Stanley Parable: I cant explain why but this song is just so Narrator •The Promised Neverland: Ray (specifically “Plus, and they, would stare at me with hatred”) •Moominvalley: It feels incredibly strange adding such a wholesome series to this list but .snufkin, maybe even mymble considering it’s implied she slept around when she was younger •Muppet Zoot (not a tv show!! bros a person also their lyrics are anything before and after “I’m trying hard not to be ashamed”) •Total Drama: Sierra (specifically “if they find the body in the basement”) If you have any from your fandom pls tell me and it will be listed Edit: I’m surprised this list got so long I’m honestly impressed Edit 2: if you have an idea but are two afraid to comment because this comment is super old pls know I’ve been consistently updating for about a year now
at 1:37 when she said, "I'll be on my best behavior, taking shots from mother nature", it reminded me of 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' whenever they said "I'll be on my best behavior, turn your back on mother nature". AND the author sang the rhythm very similarly to how 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' did too. 👀👀👀 Any body get me?? maybe the artist did this on purpose to send a deeper message?? .. idk, I just really freaked out whenever I had this realization and I had to send it out to people to see if they can catch the same thing.
i love this song. it feels like that one feeling you get when yiu try to pretend everything is okay and your not actually dying inside and that everyone's nice and cares about you and you have many friends and try to cover everything up with positivity and fake smiles. fake it till you make it am i right? (^w^)
Please don't ,I passed 2 years telling myself "fake it till you make it" that just made my mental health worse , sometimes faking can help, but if you do it every day, without having a place where you can be yourself, it can really fu*k up your head, at a certain point it gets hard to understand when you're faking and when you're being genuine, it's hard to recognize your true self, and after wearing that mask for such a long time ,it fits so well that it gets hard to take it off ,you start to think that you cannot live anymore without it, that no one will like you at this point,and it just gives you other worries , it will get to the pint that it gets hard to breath ,that you cannot get who you are anymore , that you fell always numb, and you cannot interact with people anymore... Or do it , at the end that was just my situation,everyone lives it different,have a nice life
The fact that you’ve described my whole life from what I can remember is concerning, but like what they both said... please try to talk to someone about your feelings, holding it in makes it basically feel like two personas... And that really doesn’t cause you to see your flaws, you can’t grow either. Whether that be writing about it somewhere or talking to an actual person, please don’t let it bottle up like I do. It’s very self destructive.
this song sounds like the world is being colourless again, the sudden urge to be drunk in the middle of the day, intrusive thoughts, not eating all day or just wishing u didn’t, headphones turned to full volume, not responding to ur friends,…
2:03 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me. But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME
-“maybe you’re so afraid that everyone will reject you, that you push them away first” -“i dont like being mean all the time. its kind of become this habit of mine. do you think that its fun being the one that everyone hates? look at me! i dont even have any hair!” from harold and heather from total drama island. idk if anyone else did this but i really related to heather in that scene (other than having no hair) that i just HAD to put it here since i found this song through an edit of her
also i rewrote the song to fit me better: I'm counting up The number of the steps It took for me to get Back in a good mental place I'll use an MRI to prove that I am home in my imagination If they find the skeleton in your closet In the very house that I was “raised in" I'm taking back The number of the Times I had to go back To you and still, you can't raise me I'm taking back the number of the beast 'Cause ten is not a pretty number Five or one are definitely better A is for the address on the letter To my alcoholic mum I'm trying hard Not to be ashamed Of the pathetic woman who was supposed to raise me I must keep people away from me But i don't think im very pretty And if you are holding it against me Im not on my best behaviour Taking hits from my own mother Once my fist is through my door Love is always failing, right? (Hey) Should I choose a good occupation? If I did I'd probably just quit and my mum would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic mum My alcoholic mum Please let this party end My alcoholic mum
1:35 sounds like it’s inspired by “Everybody wants to rule the world” “We will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on Mother Nature” “I’ll be on my best behaviour, taking shots for Mother Nature”
I just wanna say thank you, I know this comment may never be seen. But still, thank you for introducing me to the Dresden Dolls. It got me through a lot, hell it even through a mental hospital! Music is so much In my life, and a lot of others. So thank you cosmicity.
EVERYTHING IS SIMPLY A SHAPE A FORM AN IDENTIFIER TO LET OTHERS RECOGNISE ME AS ME BUT THEN,, WHAT AM I? IS THIS ME? MY TRUE SELF? MY FAKE SELF? *WHAT IS IT THAT I AM* -Shinji Ikari [edit:BRO WHY DID I DO THAT]
This song has a main dish of blaming everything on yourself, a side dish on people blaming things on you and guilt tripping you. With a sauce of being the burnt out mom friend in a toxic fruend group
Not listened to this in months, it used to be my favorite song but I grew tired of it. Glad this was on my recommend again because this is making its way back into my playlist
This song’s line about numbers being better really helped me notice my body dismorphia so that I was able to help myself. This was the most helpful songs in my entire life.❤❤❤
1:36 when she says “I’ll be on my best behavior, taking shots for Mother Nature.” that relates to the lyrics of everybody wants to rule the world, that says, “we’ll find you acting on your best behavior, turn your back on Mother Nature.”
I remember the old times when there was the nostalgic memory’s that we barely thought were anything but now we’re desperate to go back away from the bullying backstabbing anxiety trying to fit in all the time being the left out backup and therapist “friend” sleep can either be good or bad you can think about catastrophic scenarios that are not going to happen probably not or it could be a wonderful escape from reality but the worse part is that it all goes by and away so fast so just remember, you don’t know what you have until you loose it until its gone spend it while its still there in your life…..
this song is literally what university life felt like to me; drinking/smoking to fit in, the fake environment, listening to the loud sounds of music, drunk shouting + glasses shattering while i’m trying to sleep, shots, pure vodka, boring clubs, walking home in the dark in a completely new city, hangovers, surrounded by drunk + high people 24/7, cigarette smoke, peer pressure, turning up to lectures late, never having the motivation to study even though all my teachers told me i was better off doing a degree. so glad i dropped out. ‘all my natural talent’s wasted on my alcoholic friends’ is the lyric that hits the hardest.
POV: your losing motivation to do homework and you are struggling to keep your grades up and all you can do is listen to music and pretend everything is ok
Feels like being ignored by everyone in your class, and make jokes about you being short, being invisible and being pale as a wall, or telling you to wear more revealing clothes so your crush could notice you, all said by the people you consider your friends. It's jokes, but it still hurts. While wanting to destroy every single thing you made, every single art you've made throughout the years, you want it to be destroyed, because you know that you can't do a good job. And then being seen as a creep because you kept trying to get your crush to notice you, and they never said that i was being annoying to them. Or that me hugging them is not comfortable, they said it to their friends but not to me. :| I learned of this, through their friend and a used to be friend of mine :T
never thought i’d find a song that perfectly describes the point im in in my life but i mean here we are. i don’t exactly have friends anymore because i’ve decided to distance myself slightly but my “friends” have never been people i felt connected with i always lached onto them because i don’t want to be lonely but i’ve learned to keep myself company after going through the same cycle for years. it has always been tiring for me to keep up with them, sometimes cause they were just bad people, other times because the only thing they wanted to do outside of school was indulge in illegal activities something i’ve never been interested in. it’s sent me into a state of depression many times so now i’m in my state of exeptence.
I've found this through... A million ways. From Amanda Palmer's personal projects, from Evelyn Evelyn, from The Walten Files, from a random fucking UA-cam mix, I think it's haunting me.
⚠️ Uh so this turned into a vent so ⚠️ This song feels like getting off the school bus and walking through the hallway while everyone laughs and has fun. Sitting in class with your toxic classmates. Leaving class and going past your bus to pet the stray cat then running back to the bus. Getting off the bus again and walking up the tiny hill to your apartment building. Avoiding your manipulative, gaslighting, toxic parents and barely eating or drinking because you just can't. Putting on your earphones and laying in bed and daydreaming about being with your comfort characters for the rest of the day, reading hurt/comfort fanfics and pretending they're talking to me. Ignoring when you parents yell at you and trying your best to hide your emotions so they don't yell at you for crying. The next day, you remember you have a test. You go to school, do the test, hide your tears, finish, fail, not give a shit anymore. Going back home, feeding your cat, petting him for a while, then crying when you make sure your parents won't come here for a while. Not being able to sleep, sobbing at 2 AM, waking up, looking at the mirror, looking the dark circles under your eyes, looking at how they're darker than yesterday and before that. Feeling that emptiness in your chest, how cold it is, it's from the fan, it's from the fan, I like being alone, I don't need friends. Hug yourself at night, it's fine, it's not fine, I hate this. Mom said I looked like more like a homeless person than a girl today, don't cry, you're pathetic, I said don't cry. She told me to clean up even though I told her that it's hard to get up, she ended up yelling at me for being lazy. Stop being dramatic, people have it worse than you do, your old friends already forgot about you, accept it. You only have one friend, she texts you, you text her, she doesn't text you that much, you text her all the time, she loves you, you love her, she's not answering, it's cold, cry about it, it's empty, cry about it, wait, wait more, she answers, you feel warm for the first time in 3 days, you have a long conversation with her about an anime and make theories, you forget all your problems, you're both laughing. She's busy, she has to leave, remember all your problems, it's cold, it's empty, cry about it, know that she won't answer for a few more days. Don't blame her, she has her life together, she's fine, she doesn't have manipulative, gaslighting, toxic parents, don't be jealous, she can decorate her room with pictures of her comfort characters, don't get jealous, she can sleep at night, don't get jealous. You can't sleep, just sleep, just close your eyes, no, the dark figures are still there, watch out, stay awake, keep your legs under your blanket, it's too hot, I can't breathe properly, I didn't drink enough water, keep your legs under the blanket, don't remove the blanket, don't turn your back to the dark figures, don't fall asleep, just play your comfort playlist, i don't feel like music, just play it, ok. Look in the mirror, I look horrible, get ready for school, I'm tired, you have PE first period, think of an excuse, I'm tired, don't cry in front of the teacher, you idiot, stop crying. Atleast I got to not attend. Next period, take notes, don't get frustrated because she erased the board too fast, it's fine, keep your handwriting normal, keep up, don't get frustrated, don't cry, hide your tears. No one knows, it's better this way, go home, daydream, face reality, I can't, they're not real, shut up, cry. Wake up, spend a while trying to get up, look in the mirror, get ready for school, go to school, cry, go home, no one knows, daydream, drink water, eat dinner, not with them, daydream, go to sleep, I can't go to sleep, try, I can't, watch the sunrise while petting your cat. You cat is your only emotional support you have when your friend doesn't answer, get a notification, quick, check who it is, it's my dad, cold, empty, cry, wait, wait, wait, she answers, don't complain, have a conversation, she leaves again, cold, empty, cry.
hey I know this comment is a few months old but I want to tell you that it gets better, I was exactly like this a few years ago and I thought that I would be unhappy for the rest of my life (i had no friends, it took a lot of mental effort for me to do basic things like wash my hair so I just didn't which made me feel like even more of a gross mess) But it really does get better. Just try to build small habits that make you feel better about yourself and be nice to everyone. Don't beat yourself up when you fail, you are such a strong person just for living everyday
2:06 -2:23 hits hard. It's like this feeling of knowing your a total fuck up and even if your ever tried to change it would never work so u might aswell just stay in the self destructive cycle your in because you can't do any better anyway. So why even try.
I didn't know the Walton files fans claimed this song now I gotta learn it sorry I'm late 😰 Edit: AGAGAGA I FINALY LEARNED IT IT ONLY TOOK ME A DAY WOOOO
I thought I left all the walten files memories behind and forgot about it but the comment section made me remember about walten files and now im back to being scared of sleeping alone.
2:04 "I can't cry I can't depend on anyone else So I have to be good That way maybe my father won't hate me as much But I hated my father Im so tired of it all I want to disgrace myself To get so dirty that no one can stand it" -Misato, Evangelion
2:05 "I never wanted this to happened. I always wanted them to keep on loving me. I keep on telling myself that there my favourite person but all I can say right now is that I hate them for what they did to me but, I still have a feeling of loving them. So is it really my fault? Is it really my fault that im not like them? That we don't have the same age? Or am I just being dramatic? Did they really do this because I'm adopted? Do I really deserve to be ignored by them?"
"6 is not a pretty number, 8, or 3, are definitely better" refers to the BAC and how drunk you are, with 0.6 being impaired, 0.3 being sober and 0.8 being completely drunk. They're saying that they'd rather be completely sober or completely drunk rather than in-between.
This song is like a cake for fandoms, they all take slices and claim that slice for themself
Lord of the flies is my favourite fandom so I claim "i'm taking back the number of the beast cuz 6 is not a pretty number"
@@despairrrrr7774 lord of the flies has a fandom?! Groovy!
@@despairrrrr7774 oh my gosh I had no idea- /gen
claiming the end part for twf fandom
@@drenubes761 same for twf! woaaa it's like it's connected fandom-wise
idk who walten is or what hes filing but this song smacks
This sent me-
HELPPPPPPP
i think he's the guy that works at the coffee shop down town.
Jack Walten when he's filing😩😩
he’s filing a murder case 😘
This song sounds like failing all your tests, being ghosted by online friends, coming home from school when it's already dark out, returning to your old bad habits, dissociating in class, walking around with dead leaves stuck in your shoelaces, realizing how lonely you actually are, drinking caffeine again after quitting for a long time, not sleeping enough, wearing an all black outfit every day again, spending your lunch break alone, spending too much time daydreaming and reconsuming your comfort media for the one hundredth time while being scared you'll grow tired of it eventually or maybe that's just my personal flavor of mental illness
I relate to this to much
@@Janedoe-ns2vd 🤠🤝🤠
this is oddly specific, are you okay?😭
@@ovenn i really wasn't, no. At least my online bestie texted me back now
I remember those dark times.
And now some things are repeating.
But we'll be ok. We will be ok. We can survive this once again.
I like the voice. You can’t tell if it’s masculine or feminine
i really thought it was a man singing it on my first time hearing it
that's exactly why i love amanda palmer so much, they have a voice i wish i had
@@leoromancee its not a man?!
@@personafreak ya the lead singer is named amanda palmer
yeah
Fun fact: The line "Cause 6 is not a pretty number, 8 or 3 are definitely better" is in reference to blood alcohol levels. 0.3 is sober, 0.8 is drunk and 0.6 is tipsy.
stolen comment who
@@celestoone is more than one person not allowed to share a piece of knowledge? is there not a chance that both i and someone else commented the same thing around the same time and didn't know someone else also commented it?
^
0.3 isn't rlly sober though.
@@celestoone rude person who? 🤡
“Six is not a pretty number”
Me: *immediately relates entire song with Little Nightmares*
Oh my god yes
That fits her tho
OMELETTES UR RIGHT
I THOUGHT THE SAME
"Fandomizer • 69 years ago"
669 likes....that's something
I got a bud-light advertisement on this, I think UA-cam wants me to be one of the alcoholic friends 😰
IT HAPPENED AGAIN BUT IT WAS BUD-WEISER NO
😭😭😭
🥲
Sad bro
I GOT A HENNESSY AD
Six has always been my favorite number, I will not accept six slander
SAME
i like nine so close enough ig 🤨
little nightmares
EXACTLY
@@loser6682 damn just expose me I guess
*felix drives off road cutely*
STOP LMAO
STOP 💀
wait is this a walten files thing cuz if so i am now scared to get into it
@@crowthebro Yeah it is
Walten Files is more disturbing than scary or creepy I will say
@@colby314 a friend told me it's like local 58 and now i am terrified of it
2:06 feels so relatable when you have grown up with toxic friends resembling the “alcoholic friends” and what ever you do to try and make them like you they see it as you are trying to be better than them. Or in the phrase “the party never ends” at least for me resembles that no matter what friends you will have they will always be the same and you will have to go through the same thing .a never ending one in this case.
Yeah, feels that way.
Or when those "alcoholic friends" never get along, and you, being raised in arguements non-stop, you just leave until they calm down.
But then, they take it against you, blaming you for hurting them this way, and call you immature for blocking them whenever an arguement starts between you and them.
And lie to your face non-stop, use your symphathy, and blame you for alot of things being your fault so that's why they lied.
holy fuck
It’s amazing how songs speak to people like how this song speaks to me or my friends but what’s more amazing is how you see the song in general
the way the piano sounds, the voice .. it feels like trying to live while u try to repress all your anger, it's just so aggressive and raw.. i love it
yk what else is aggressive and raw? ;)
1:35 reminded me of that one line in "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
i think its meant to be a reference to it lol
it's a reference
YESYESYESYES
@@lavilio4524 KNEW IT
SEE I KNEW I WASENT TRIPPING
2:05
“Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am?!”
“ *NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!* ”
“What are you?! Stupid?! Of course nobody is gonna understand you!”
-Shinji Ikari and Asuka Soryu, Neon Genesis Evangelion
i cant escape the shinnies
no
shinnie
Tf is a shinnie
@@ccxriri you
"Thanks Felix, you're a life-saver!" -Jack Walten's last words before he never saw his children ever again
HELP BAHAHAHAHA that is so ironic
@@tragicgirlfrances lmfao ikr
IRHDRIVEURRH
@@fudgysundaee kinda sus how you make your way into almost every comment section I'm in
*lmao*
Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then...what am I? Is this my true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? Nobody understands me!
I WAS ABOUT TO COMMENT THIS LMAOS
I WAS SEARCHING FOR THIS
Shinnie moment
NOO LMFAO
AKKADKWKDK
so tempted to make a fanfic based on the lyrics of this song
update; its in preparation now! and im calling it phantasmic blues
Its gonna be so cool!
Same lol
do it
if i do its honna be a hurt-comfort btw
Same but a book-
2:05 why does this part give me dazai vibes so much.. like it's describing his now and past state pretty good
"should I choose a noble occupation?"
should he haven't been in the port mafia? maybe he shouldn't have gone with mori
"if i did i'd only show up late and sick. and they would stare at me with hatred"
he most days goes to the agency late or sometimes never. it probably annoys everyone (especially kunikida ig) also he probably thinks agency members don't like him so much (but dw, in fact they care about him. especially kunikida. he calls him in the morning every single day to be sure he's alive or ate something. and in one of the novels they said they don't let dazai die. even tho they don't show, everyone loves him)
"plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends"
he's a literal genius yk. he was one of the important members in the mafia. he has lots of useful features (such as being able to control his heart etc.) despite that, he left there just bc of his best friend wanted that.
(sorry if there's any gramer mistakes. english isn't my first language :3)
and if you wonder, name of the anime is "bungo stray dogs"
“I’ll be on my best behavior
Taking shots for Mother Nature”
I think it’s a reference to an older song “Everybody wants to rule the world
“Acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on Mother Nature”
OH MY GOD THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING
Fr
I KNEW I RECOGNISED THAT FROM SOMEWHERE OMG
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING
I knew I knew that line from somewhere
This song is oddly specific, Depression, Dissociation, hatred for yourself and others, untold trauma, religious trauma, shutting yourself up so you wont upset someone only for them to see you as weird or rude, you want to be worth something great. Its very relatable
this song is just a vibe...
system of a down pfp
lets be friends
now
@@-chaoticnaturegirl-1390 I was gonna say the same thing-
@@bambamslugs system of a down is amazing
system of a down profile picture
I have a crush on this song.
LMAO SAME
Canon
Yo.
AYO CAN I DRINK YOU?
@@kel3341 HELL YEAH THERE'S A REASON IT SAYS 'KEL'S ORANGE JOE AND NOT JUST ORANGE JOE 😎😎
Everyone talking about finding this through the walten files while I'm here finding it through a South Park speedpaint 😳
Same and I'm over here finding it through a Dazai Osamu edit
SAME WHAT
Of Leslie on TikTok? Same
OMG SAME
@@mushroomdance7756 SAME
if i ever drive off a cliff im going to play this while i do it
same
omg noodle please dont drive off a cliff
noo
Wait cause same-
same 100%
This song seriously takes me back when I was at my lowest. A couple months ago I was empty, getting only an hour of sleep due to staying up all night hearing my parents fight and getting ready to go in to help my mom incase things got physical, never washing my makeup, bags under my eyes, low grades, not being able to focus in class, getting left out of my friend group, running away from home and go back a couple hours later cause I was worried about not knowing where to go cause I had no connections and no one to go to, crying all the time, having panic attacks in school and hiding in the school restrooms, wearing the same dirty ass shoes I never washed, failing everything losing an unhealthy amount of weight and I'm only 14.
It's crazy how much meeting a person could change me entirely.
I hope you are doing better
I can relate a whole lot, it lasted around 2-4 years until I met someone who helped a lot, it’s crazy how someone can change you for the better
I hope you're doing better now
I hope you are doing better now.
@@angle5222 hopefully one day I too get to meet that person
when walten does some filing
I CANT FUCKING DO THIS THIS ISSO FUNY FRO NO REASON
walten do be filing doe😳💯
Lol
WHO THE FUCK IS WALTEN
@@ethanabbott1871 AND WHY IS HE FILING!?
"should I choose a noble occupation, if I did I'd only show up late and sick, and they would stare at me with hatred. plus my only natural talent's wasted" i feel it
(lyrics for whoever needs them)
I'm counting back
The number of the steps
It took for me to get
Back on the wagon of the weekend
I'll use the auto-timer to prove that I'll
Get home with my imagination
If they find the body in the basement
"In the very house that she was raised in"
I'm taking down
The number of the Times
So when we get the sign
From God I'll be the first to call them
I'm taking back the number of the beast
'Cause six is not a pretty number
Eight or three are definitely better
A is for the address on the letter
To my alcoholic friends
I'm trying hard
Not to be ashamed
Not to know the name
Of who is waking up beside me
Or the date, the season or the city
But at least the ceiling's very pretty
And if you are holding it against me
I'll be on my best behavior
Taking shots for mother nature
Once my fist is in the cupboard
Love is never falling over
(Hey)
Should I choose a noble occupation?
If I did I'd only show up late and sick
And they would stare at me with hatred
Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends
My alcoholic friends
The party never ends
My alcoholic friends
the lyrics are literally on the screen in the video
@@Basicallysociety she basically said "for whoever needs them" but i do agree with u there are lyrics on the screen.
This really helps me out since I'm the type to read lyrics and I don't like lyrics just pop up. I'd rather knowing it first ❤
@@Basicallysociety WELL IM SORRY I NEED TO SEE ALL HE LYRICS AND NOT JUST ONE LINE OF IT OR ELSE IT WILL MESS ME UP WHILE SINGING
@@Candybatz894 BLUD IS NOT SORRY
1:48 i love the vocals “oOoOover” its so nice for some reason
I don't know what the song is about but it gives me the vibes of someone slowly going crazy, because of the people who they are friends with/the people that surround them
that's my oc's backstory broooooooooooooooooo
!! fun lil back story no one asked for!
this is actually about amandas time being a prostitute + being raped. this song correlates with " sex changes " & " dear jenny "
@@andromeda6306 oh.
i thought that it was something about toxic friends
that explains "not to know the name of who is sleeping(?) right beside me"
@@andromeda6306 ‘fun’
I thought it was about having toxic friends which always make you handle their problems
I don’t know what the fawk a walten file is but this song slaps. Came here for soul eater
YOOOOO I USED TO LOVE SOUL EATER :')
I love soul eater
@@blueivory5880 same
SOUL EATER IS ONE OF MY COMFORT ANIME
It's the numbers part isn't it, that part reminds me of kid and his symmetry obsession lol
why in gods name is this the most relatable song I've ever heard?
are you okay
@Ｓｔｕｐｉｄ░Ｂｉｔｃｈ (代因ソ) are _you_ okay
@Ｓｔｕｐｉｄ░Ｂｉｔｃｈ (代因ソ) me neither but try to get a good night's sleep once in a while also clean ur room
Yes, how are you?
“I’m taking back the number of the beast, cuz six is not a pretty number, eight or three is definitely better” god I love that line
The fact that the name of my toxic friend starts with A, they’re an alcoholic and my last and worst depressive episode was 6 months long makes this song resonate extra hard
This gives me the vibes of finally reaching THAT stage of being a teenager when you do start getting drunk and going to parties with mates and all of that, and both feeling liberated and ashamed of yourself for it
Can relate
This song can work for so many fandoms and it's also a vibe so like an epic song right here-
Everyone's talking about fandoms, meanwhile I'm just standing here, wondering if anybody else noticed the referance to "Everybody wants to rule the World" in the bridge
YES
Omg what’s the reference?!
"Im trying hard,not to be ashamed" hit me harder then a bullet
Same :( hope your doing alright tho
I find this song really comforting, like it’s about everything getting a tiny bit better, even if it’s still all going wrong.
I’m making a list of what fandom people relate this song to so far I have
•Little nightmares (specifically “six is not my favourite number”)
•Camp Camp
•Walten files: Felix
•Dream SMP: Tubbo, Tommy and Quackity (for Quackity its specifically because of his storyline with Schlatt)
•Shinji Ikari kins
•Bungo stray dogs
•Wings of Fire: Peril
•Sk♾ the infinity
•Five nights at Freddy’s/fnaf: Micheal, Fritz and Jeremy aka the night guards and the dead children (specifically “if they find the body in the basement”)
•Doki Doki Literature club: Monika
•Genshin Impact: The traveler aka Aether or Lumine (specifically “all my natural talents are wasted”) and Nahida aka lesser lord Kusanali (specifically “cause six (herself) is not a pretty number, eight or three (the other archons and greater lore Rhukkatavata) are definitely better.” and “I’ll be on my best behaviour taking shots for Mother Nature” these lyrics relate to her trying to show her people the same comfort the Greater Lord did but them not caring for her in the slightest) (damn Genshin impact lore got really deep woah)
And finally the character Chide/Tartiglia I’m feeling brave so I’m gonna try to put this request’s explanation into a nutshell so someone pls tell me if ive fucked up at any point! Anyways the lyrics “natural talent” refers to Chide only valuing himself as a being a soldier for Tsaritsa, he had a dysfunctional childhood which lead to him becoming an unstable adult and the lyrics “and if you are holding it against me” and “they would stare at me with hatred” are vocalising his anxiety of what his siblings would think of his career if they knew about it the line “should I choose a noble occupation” further expressing this fear while also showing his relationship with the Fatui, the “alcoholic friends” mentioned in the song could be the fatui themselves
•Omori: Sunny
•Helluva Boss: Blitzø and Barbie Wire
•Fruit Baskets: Kyo Sohma (specifically “I’m taking back the number of the beast”)
•Attack On Titans
•Undertale: Flowey and Sans (specifically fanon Sans)
•Encanto (specifically “cause six/Bruno is not a pretty number eight/Julietta or three/Pepa are definitely better)
•Deltarune: Kris
•Southpark
•Bojack Horseman (wow how tf was this not on the list earlier)
•Demon Slayer: Suma, Genya and Akaza
•Call Of Duty Zombies: Ultimis Richtofen
•Marble Hornets
•Sally Face
•Danganrompa v2: Goodbye Despair: Hajime Hinata, Akane Owari (danganrompa characters have really depressing backstories woah.)
•Unbrella Academy
•Creepypasta: Ticci Toby
•Moral Orel: Clay Puppington, Reverend Putty
•Doctor Stone
•Asagiri Gen
•Vampire in the garden: Fine
•Harry Potter/Maruaders: Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black (I have a friend who would get soo mad at me for calling the Maruaders Harry Potter..)
•Toilet bound Hanako Kun/tbhk: Hanako and Teru
•Rick and Morty: Rick
•Mandela Catalogue: Thatcher Davis
•Your Turn to Die: Sara Chidouin
•Scum Villain’s Self Saving System: Shen Jiu and Shen Qingqiu (specifically “should I choose a noble occupation, if I did I’ll only show up late and sick”)
•Panty and Stocking: Panty (specifically “I’m trying hard not to know the name of who is waking up beside me”)
•Team Fortress 2: Demoman
•Buggaloo (edit: I think,,, I think the person who said this one was making a joke,, still keeping it just incase but I feel so stupid 😭)
•Roomates: Nathan
•Eddsworld: Tord and Tom
•Cookie Run Kingdom: Vampire Cookie (dude’s literally an alcoholic)
•Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared/DHMIS: Lesley (for me at least)
•We Need To Talk About Kevin: Eva
•D20 Neverafter: Gerard and Pinocchio (specifically “taking back the number of the beast” for Pinoke “the beast” referring to stepmother, and now I think about the kid is probably an alcoholic)
•The Stanley Parable: I cant explain why but this song is just so Narrator
•The Promised Neverland: Ray (specifically “Plus, and they, would stare at me with hatred”)
•Moominvalley: It feels incredibly strange adding such a wholesome series to this list but .snufkin, maybe even mymble considering it’s implied she slept around when she was younger
•Muppet Zoot (not a tv show!! bros a person also their lyrics are anything before and after “I’m trying hard not to be ashamed”)
•Total Drama: Sierra (specifically “if they find the body in the basement”)
If you have any from your fandom pls tell me and it will be listed
Edit: I’m surprised this list got so long I’m honestly impressed
Edit 2: if you have an idea but are two afraid to comment because this comment is super old pls know I’ve been consistently updating for about a year now
shinji ikari kins
@@Hana-lj9nm I’ll add it :)
walten files is also “my alcoholic friends” because felix!!
bungo stray dogs
Peril from Wings of Fire
Don't know why, but this is the vibe when you're walking to the mall/home with friends and laughing even though an angsty song is playing in your ear
this song feels like when you're freinds and family have pissed you off or upset you for the last time
This song is the definition of melancholy , the rhythm , the lyrics , the voice , everything ...
at 1:37 when she said, "I'll be on my best behavior, taking shots from mother nature", it reminded me of 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' whenever they said "I'll be on my best behavior, turn your back on mother nature". AND the author sang the rhythm very similarly to how 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' did too. 👀👀👀 Any body get me?? maybe the artist did this on purpose to send a deeper message?? .. idk, I just really freaked out whenever I had this realization and I had to send it out to people to see if they can catch the same thing.
yeah im pretty sure it's a reference
yeah that’s funny! I wonder why it referenced that, since the songs aren’t related in any way from what I know
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING, I THOUGHT THE CREATOR OF THE SONG "EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD" SAMPLED THIS SONG 😃
@@IsntItWonderfulAngelaDAWG THIS WAS MADE 3 years AGO EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD WWS MADE 30 YEARS AGO
1:35 that reference to Everybody Wants To Rule The World (Tears For Fears) caught me off guard! :D
Same
Woah, I actually just noticed that now that you mentioned it lol
Yep
i love this song. it feels like that one feeling you get when yiu try to pretend everything is okay and your not actually dying inside and that everyone's nice and cares about you and you have many friends and try to cover everything up with positivity and fake smiles. fake it till you make it am i right? (^w^)
Please don't ,I passed 2 years telling myself "fake it till you make it" that just made my mental health worse , sometimes faking can help, but if you do it every day, without having a place where you can be yourself, it can really fu*k up your head, at a certain point it gets hard to understand when you're faking and when you're being genuine, it's hard to recognize your true self, and after wearing that mask for such a long time ,it fits so well that it gets hard to take it off ,you start to think that you cannot live anymore without it, that no one will like you at this point,and it just gives you other worries , it will get to the pint that it gets hard to breath ,that you cannot get who you are anymore , that you fell always numb, and you cannot interact with people anymore...
Or do it , at the end that was just my situation,everyone lives it different,have a nice life
emphasis on what arson said. hiding your emotions makes them settle until they evolve and get worse and worse
The fact that you’ve described my whole life from what I can remember is concerning, but like what they both said... please try to talk to someone about your feelings, holding it in makes it basically feel like two personas... And that really doesn’t cause you to see your flaws, you can’t grow either.
Whether that be writing about it somewhere or talking to an actual person, please don’t let it bottle up like I do. It’s very self destructive.
cringe
@Ｓｔｕｐｉｄ░Ｂｉｔｃｈ (代因ソ) who said that girl it’s “she” in french
I always heard “once my sister is in the cupboard” and thought that it was a very accurate representation of siblings
I’m confused, can you explain how it would be accurate? Like what would it mean?
I just meant “putting your sister in the cupboard” because of dumb things siblings do
Classic piano riff in the background 1:34
this song sounds like the world is being colourless again, the sudden urge to be drunk in the middle of the day, intrusive thoughts, not eating all day or just wishing u didn’t, headphones turned to full volume, not responding to ur friends,…
She has literally the best type of female voice
At 1:57 I hit my knee exactly when the background person said ”hey!”
"I am taking back the number of the beast" i love it 😩🙌
cause six is not a pretty number 😊
2:03 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me. But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME
??? ya okay dude?
@@elliewilms2019 shinji
-“maybe you’re so afraid that everyone will reject you, that you push them away first”
-“i dont like being mean all the time. its kind of become this habit of mine. do you think that its fun being the one that everyone hates? look at me! i dont even have any hair!”
from harold and heather from total drama island. idk if anyone else did this but i really related to heather in that scene (other than having no hair) that i just HAD to put it here since i found this song through an edit of her
this song feels like sleep deprivation
thats funny because i have to go to work in a couple hours and here i am jamming to this song in the middle of the night
yeah, cause i’m having a beer and it’s almost 2 am 🤩 i have classes in the morning
this song sounds like stress, anger, PTSD, and depression all in one.
also i rewrote the song to fit me better:
I'm counting up
The number of the steps
It took for me to get
Back in a good mental place
I'll use an MRI to prove that
I am home in my imagination
If they find the skeleton in your closet
In the very house that I was “raised in"
I'm taking back
The number of the Times
I had to go back
To you and still, you can't raise me
I'm taking back the number of the beast
'Cause ten is not a pretty number
Five or one are definitely better
A is for the address on the letter
To my alcoholic mum
I'm trying hard
Not to be ashamed
Of the pathetic woman
who was supposed to raise me
I must keep people away from me
But i don't think im very pretty
And if you are holding it against me
Im not on my best behaviour
Taking hits from my own mother
Once my fist is through my door
Love is always failing, right?
(Hey)
Should I choose a good occupation?
If I did I'd probably just quit and
my mum would stare at me with hatred
Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic mum
My alcoholic mum
Please let this party end
My alcoholic mum
DISCLAIMER I DONT LIVE WITH MY MUM ANY MORE
as an art student this song made me feel bittersweet
1:35 sounds like it’s inspired by “Everybody wants to rule the world”
“We will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on Mother Nature”
“I’ll be on my best behaviour, taking shots for Mother Nature”
It also sounds like it. Different words and voice though
this song is so comforting to me and i dont know why
I just wanna say thank you, I know this comment may never be seen. But still, thank you for introducing me to the Dresden Dolls. It got me through a lot, hell it even through a mental hospital! Music is so much In my life, and a lot of others. So thank you cosmicity.
THANK U FOR THE COMMENT UR SO SWEET !! im rlly glad it helped ! :)) i'm glad things r doing better for uu
0:47 "Doing nothing is boring, work or sleep are definitely better"
This song gives me all the serotonin I need
EVERYTHING IS SIMPLY
A SHAPE
A FORM
AN IDENTIFIER
TO LET OTHERS RECOGNISE
ME AS ME
BUT THEN,,
WHAT AM I?
IS THIS ME?
MY TRUE SELF?
MY FAKE SELF?
*WHAT IS IT THAT I AM*
-Shinji Ikari
[edit:BRO WHY DID I DO THAT]
You shinnie 👿
no
HAHAHAHAHHA
LMFAOOOOO
2:05
0:22 "If they find the body on the closet"
Bad parenting
crap
i like how you can take it as friends with alcoholism or alcoholic drinks
This song has a main dish of blaming everything on yourself, a side dish on people blaming things on you and guilt tripping you. With a sauce of being the burnt out mom friend in a toxic fruend group
Not listened to this in months, it used to be my favorite song but I grew tired of it. Glad this was on my recommend again because this is making its way back into my playlist
This is underrated, I love this!!
This song’s line about numbers being better really helped me notice my body dismorphia so that I was able to help myself. This was the most helpful songs in my entire life.❤❤❤
This music reminds me of Dazai Osamu. The lyrics, the instrumental, the voice singing, everything resembles him
She’s giving off marina and the diamonds vibes ♥️
This itches my brain perfectly
2:04 "Ah Shit the lean monster" "I LOVE LEAN"
1:36 when she says “I’ll be on my best behavior, taking shots for Mother Nature.” that relates to the lyrics of everybody wants to rule the world, that says, “we’ll find you acting on your best behavior, turn your back on Mother Nature.”
This song reminds me of sarcastically laughing at my own pain because crying is getting old
HELP
same
I can relate.
Shoutout to all the people who searched ”I’m taking back the number of the beast” instead of my alcoholic friends
I remember the old times when there was the nostalgic memory’s that we barely thought were anything but now we’re desperate to go back away from the bullying backstabbing anxiety trying to fit in all the time being the left out backup and therapist “friend” sleep can either be good or bad you can think about catastrophic scenarios that are not going to happen probably not or it could be a wonderful escape from reality but the worse part is that it all goes by and away so fast so just remember, you don’t know what you have until you loose it until its gone spend it while its still there in your life…..
this lowkey describes dazai from bsd 👀
I'm obsessed with the part at 1:35, the piano and their voice are so satisfying
this song is literally what university life felt like to me; drinking/smoking to fit in, the fake environment, listening to the loud sounds of music, drunk shouting + glasses shattering while i’m trying to sleep, shots, pure vodka, boring clubs, walking home in the dark in a completely new city, hangovers, surrounded by drunk + high people 24/7, cigarette smoke, peer pressure, turning up to lectures late, never having the motivation to study even though all my teachers told me i was better off doing a degree. so glad i dropped out.
‘all my natural talent’s wasted on my alcoholic friends’ is the lyric that hits the hardest.
POV: your losing motivation to do homework and you are struggling to keep your grades up and all you can do is listen to music and pretend everything is ok
Feels like being ignored by everyone in your class, and make jokes about you being short, being invisible and being pale as a wall, or telling you to wear more revealing clothes so your crush could notice you, all said by the people you consider your friends.
It's jokes, but it still hurts.
While wanting to destroy every single thing you made, every single art you've made throughout the years, you want it to be destroyed, because you know that you can't do a good job.
And then being seen as a creep because you kept trying to get your crush to notice you, and they never said that i was being annoying to them.
Or that me hugging them is not comfortable, they said it to their friends but not to me. :|
I learned of this, through their friend and a used to be friend of mine :T
I agree, 8 is simply superior
never thought i’d find a song that perfectly describes the point im in in my life but i mean here we are. i don’t exactly have friends anymore because i’ve decided to distance myself slightly but my “friends” have never been people i felt connected with i always lached onto them because i don’t want to be lonely but i’ve learned to keep myself company after going through the same cycle for years. it has always been tiring for me to keep up with them, sometimes cause they were just bad people, other times because the only thing they wanted to do outside of school was indulge in illegal activities something i’ve never been interested in. it’s sent me into a state of depression many times so now i’m in my state of exeptence.
I've found this through... A million ways. From Amanda Palmer's personal projects, from Evelyn Evelyn, from The Walten Files, from a random fucking UA-cam mix, I think it's haunting me.
“I’m waking up, not to be ashamed, of who wakes up beside me” “A is the address of the letter, to my alcoholic friends.”
⚠️ Uh so this turned into a vent so ⚠️
This song feels like getting off the school bus and walking through the hallway while everyone laughs and has fun. Sitting in class with your toxic classmates. Leaving class and going past your bus to pet the stray cat then running back to the bus. Getting off the bus again and walking up the tiny hill to your apartment building. Avoiding your manipulative, gaslighting, toxic parents and barely eating or drinking because you just can't. Putting on your earphones and laying in bed and daydreaming about being with your comfort characters for the rest of the day, reading hurt/comfort fanfics and pretending they're talking to me. Ignoring when you parents yell at you and trying your best to hide your emotions so they don't yell at you for crying. The next day, you remember you have a test. You go to school, do the test, hide your tears, finish, fail, not give a shit anymore. Going back home, feeding your cat, petting him for a while, then crying when you make sure your parents won't come here for a while. Not being able to sleep, sobbing at 2 AM, waking up, looking at the mirror, looking the dark circles under your eyes, looking at how they're darker than yesterday and before that. Feeling that emptiness in your chest, how cold it is, it's from the fan, it's from the fan, I like being alone, I don't need friends. Hug yourself at night, it's fine, it's not fine, I hate this. Mom said I looked like more like a homeless person than a girl today, don't cry, you're pathetic, I said don't cry. She told me to clean up even though I told her that it's hard to get up, she ended up yelling at me for being lazy. Stop being dramatic, people have it worse than you do, your old friends already forgot about you, accept it. You only have one friend, she texts you, you text her, she doesn't text you that much, you text her all the time, she loves you, you love her, she's not answering, it's cold, cry about it, it's empty, cry about it, wait, wait more, she answers, you feel warm for the first time in 3 days, you have a long conversation with her about an anime and make theories, you forget all your problems, you're both laughing. She's busy, she has to leave, remember all your problems, it's cold, it's empty, cry about it, know that she won't answer for a few more days. Don't blame her, she has her life together, she's fine, she doesn't have manipulative, gaslighting, toxic parents, don't be jealous, she can decorate her room with pictures of her comfort characters, don't get jealous, she can sleep at night, don't get jealous. You can't sleep, just sleep, just close your eyes, no, the dark figures are still there, watch out, stay awake, keep your legs under your blanket, it's too hot, I can't breathe properly, I didn't drink enough water, keep your legs under the blanket, don't remove the blanket, don't turn your back to the dark figures, don't fall asleep, just play your comfort playlist, i don't feel like music, just play it, ok. Look in the mirror, I look horrible, get ready for school, I'm tired, you have PE first period, think of an excuse, I'm tired, don't cry in front of the teacher, you idiot, stop crying. Atleast I got to not attend. Next period, take notes, don't get frustrated because she erased the board too fast, it's fine, keep your handwriting normal, keep up, don't get frustrated, don't cry, hide your tears. No one knows, it's better this way, go home, daydream, face reality, I can't, they're not real, shut up, cry. Wake up, spend a while trying to get up, look in the mirror, get ready for school, go to school, cry, go home, no one knows, daydream, drink water, eat dinner, not with them, daydream, go to sleep, I can't go to sleep, try, I can't, watch the sunrise while petting your cat. You cat is your only emotional support you have when your friend doesn't answer, get a notification, quick, check who it is, it's my dad, cold, empty, cry, wait, wait, wait, she answers, don't complain, have a conversation, she leaves again, cold, empty, cry.
@✧ Shroomi ✧ um so yeah it actually happened or is happening right now 😬
hey I know this comment is a few months old but I want to tell you that it gets better, I was exactly like this a few years ago and I thought that I would be unhappy for the rest of my life (i had no friends, it took a lot of mental effort for me to do basic things like wash my hair so I just didn't which made me feel like even more of a gross mess) But it really does get better. Just try to build small habits that make you feel better about yourself and be nice to everyone. Don't beat yourself up when you fail, you are such a strong person just for living everyday
Shit, same :(
it gets better. i know you think it doesn't, but it DOES. speaking from experience. u can do this
Yeah....This is wayyy too relatable
IDK THE WALTEN FILES BUT THIS SONG SLAPS
AYYYY NEITHER DO I !!!!
2:06 -2:23 hits hard. It's like this feeling of knowing your a total fuck up and even if your ever tried to change it would never work so u might aswell just stay in the self destructive cycle your in because you can't do any better anyway. So why even try.
@dom sorry bro 😂
This is Death The Kid's song specifically 0:42
omg yes
YES :))
I didn't know the Walton files fans claimed this song now I gotta learn it sorry I'm late 😰
Edit: AGAGAGA I FINALY LEARNED IT IT ONLY TOOK ME A DAY WOOOO
Hello!
@@sansundertalereal-p6p get back in your bon suit 🙄
theres no such thing as late. whats more important is that youve done it
I love this song.
It has a simple rhythm, after listening to the first verse. All you would need would be the lyrics and background music.
2:05 my heart would break whenever this part comes
I thought I left all the walten files memories behind and forgot about it but the comment section made me remember about walten files and now im back to being scared of sleeping alone.
2:04
"I can't cry
I can't depend on anyone else
So I have to be good
That way maybe my father won't hate me as much
But I hated my father
Im so tired of it all
I want to disgrace myself
To get so dirty that no one can stand it"
-Misato, Evangelion
Although the song have a sad meaning but its so addictive ✨
2:05
"I never wanted this to happened. I always wanted them to keep on loving me. I keep on telling myself that there my favourite person but all I can say right now is that I hate them for what they did to me but, I still have a feeling of loving them. So is it really my fault? Is it really my fault that im not like them? That we don't have the same age? Or am I just being dramatic? Did they really do this because I'm adopted? Do I really deserve to be ignored by them?"
"6 is not a pretty number, 8, or 3, are definitely better" refers to the BAC and how drunk you are, with 0.6 being impaired, 0.3 being sober and 0.8 being completely drunk.
They're saying that they'd rather be completely sober or completely drunk rather than in-between.
I get overwhelmed so easily my anxiety creeps inside of me makes it hard to breathe what’s come over me feels like I’m somebody else
I’m imagining singing this while my comfort characters cheer for me.