If Disney made A New Hope

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  • Опубліковано 2 лют 2025

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  • @gabzitoshorts
    @gabzitoshorts  Місяць тому +95

    If you wish that this was longer, I got you covered! I'm working on a full movie in 3 parts (& a spinoff) and the finale is coming soon!
    Here are the episodes that are currently out: ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Gabzito240p

  • @Aftonyy
    @Aftonyy 6 місяців тому +3056

    that fuck off at the end is perfect

    • @Eco_Zenn
      @Eco_Zenn 6 місяців тому +12

      True lol

    • @LollipopWNoChainsaw
      @LollipopWNoChainsaw 6 місяців тому +9

      here's your 420 likes
      (not sure if 420 is still funny after "velma" so apologies in advance💀)

    • @MrSharariebrum
      @MrSharariebrum 6 місяців тому +3

      But Luke could have been like Ben "Language"

    • @quinterosjorge2
      @quinterosjorge2 6 місяців тому +2

      Fr

    • @jaymac7203
      @jaymac7203 6 місяців тому +1

      And the run lol

  • @Funball18
    @Funball18 6 місяців тому +4359

    Where’s the part where Vader finds a longsword and that somehow works more effectively than the lightsaber??

    • @dearcastiel4667
      @dearcastiel4667 6 місяців тому +364

      *A knife
      In Disney Star Wars, knives have a better jedi kill ratio than lightsabers...

    • @veryangryduckpl2122
      @veryangryduckpl2122 6 місяців тому +196

      No no, a katana, no way disney would make a medieval european weapon work.

    • @xTheMenaceHimselfx
      @xTheMenaceHimselfx 6 місяців тому

      ​@@veryangryduckpl2122 They hate Europe! GRRRR COLONIZERS!1!!

    • @lanefunai4714
      @lanefunai4714 6 місяців тому +49

      ​@@veryangryduckpl2122cultural appropriation!

    • @dutchmansmine9053
      @dutchmansmine9053 6 місяців тому

      @@lanefunai4714 Don't worry, they'll make sure she gay, Asian, or black.

  • @juangabrielcabardo21
    @juangabrielcabardo21 6 місяців тому +2035

    “Kyberectile dysfunction”

    • @toazethegecko
      @toazethegecko 5 місяців тому +15

      That shi had me rolling 😭

    • @DefileOdds
      @DefileOdds 2 місяці тому +3

      ​@@toazethegecko the, use the force, throw me up against the wall and choke me. I had to sit down so I didn't fall down, best star wars reference ever.

    • @theTomoaXL
      @theTomoaXL Місяць тому +4

      Nothing to be ashamed of! It's very common in Jedi over 40!

    • @DefileOdds
      @DefileOdds Місяць тому

      @theTomoaXL But I'm in the clone army, I was Literally born yesterday! I woke up today hit puberty and by bedtime I'm impotent!

  • @emancoy
    @emancoy 6 місяців тому +4956

    Disney Lightsabers are less effective than butter knife

    • @Dave-ug1rx
      @Dave-ug1rx 6 місяців тому +149

      Do you miss when lightsabers actually did what they were supposed to? Disney has ruined Star Wars. It's why I play the games instead. Those are more faithful.

    • @teekay1122
      @teekay1122 6 місяців тому +9

      @@Dave-ug1rxit’s meant for kids. Thats why they don’t cut through people

    • @slycat128
      @slycat128 6 місяців тому +97

      @@teekay1122since when was Star Wars meant for kids? Source?

    • @teekay1122
      @teekay1122 6 місяців тому +7

      @@slycat128 George lucas said it himself?😂 And kids can range up to teenagers

    • @slycat128
      @slycat128 6 місяців тому +65

      @@teekay1122 Lol Star Wars isn’t for kids it’s aimed at mature audiences bud

  • @PalpatinesPlumber
    @PalpatinesPlumber 6 місяців тому +2834

    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Lightsaber the wise?

    • @danieldouglass3761
      @danieldouglass3761 6 місяців тому +100

      Its certainly a story the dysfuntional jedi wouldn't tell you... lol

    • @TheNikoNik
      @TheNikoNik 6 місяців тому +65

      @@danieldouglass3761 is it possible to unlearn of this powerlessness?

    • @Q_uinna
      @Q_uinna 6 місяців тому +42

      It's a LGBT (Lightsaber Gender Brings Trouble) legend...

    • @stereotypespecialist
      @stereotypespecialist 6 місяців тому +21

      With very little power, comes very little responsibility.

    • @StarwarsR
      @StarwarsR 6 місяців тому +20

      ​@@TheNikoNik Not from Disney

  • @fmonproductions
    @fmonproductions 6 місяців тому +1061

    I feel like Darth Vader saying “safe flight home!” is such an underrated line

    • @fishsayswhatsgoingon
      @fishsayswhatsgoingon 4 місяці тому +18

      Have a happy landing.
      Avoid low ground.

    • @brianhu9700
      @brianhu9700 3 місяці тому +9

      The Imperials did intentionally allow the Millennium Falcon to leave the Death Star in order to allow them to track it to the Yavin 4 rebel base.

  • @stilescd7213
    @stilescd7213 6 місяців тому +595

    "Have you heard of the tale of Darth Plagueis the wise? Well he somehow survived too. Let him tell you himself."

    • @goldscape6875
      @goldscape6875 28 днів тому +9

      nononono
      he somehow RETURNED

    • @ultimate_pleb
      @ultimate_pleb 22 дні тому +1

      Guarantee you Disney is unironically making a 'darth plagus the wise' movie/tv show
      It will release in 2030 at the latest
      Edit: don't know how i managed to spell wise 'wase' but here we are 😂

  • @pinky6758
    @pinky6758 6 місяців тому +2401

    Reminder that Finn took Kylo Ren´s lightsaber across his back, right through the spine and his ribcage, and he was perfectly fine the next movie.

    • @shade1121-ce8dc
      @shade1121-ce8dc 6 місяців тому +361

      Oh nothing some water and plastic couldn’t fix.

    • @jonathontoney2338
      @jonathontoney2338 6 місяців тому +256

      whats even more wild it was healed within a few in few hours of him being hit. they litterly flew back told everyone hand died then abandoned the base and he was already fully healed.

    • @RichardSmith-dl2dk
      @RichardSmith-dl2dk 6 місяців тому +138

      Something, something Bacta tank. Something, something the Force

    • @NoxAtlas
      @NoxAtlas 6 місяців тому +149

      Meanwhile, Qui-Gonn got stabbed once and died. Old Obi-Wan got hit once and was ghostified. Anakin and Luke: "I got cut with a lightsaber once and all I got is a prosthesis."

    • @Nobody-hw6jv
      @Nobody-hw6jv 6 місяців тому +26

      If my memory isn't failing me, I'm sure that Finn's specie wasn't stated in any movie, so it's possible that his specie can live without a spine if they even have any.

  • @Nokaret
    @Nokaret 5 місяців тому +188

    Obi-Wan died on the way back to his home planet. He became slightly more powerful than Vader imagined. The constant diarrhea remained.

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 Місяць тому +22

      But then...
      ... somehow Obi Wan returned.

  • @Blazieth
    @Blazieth 5 місяців тому +201

    In summary:
    Obi-Wan: "Kill me please"
    Vader: "No! You made it weird! You made it _SO_ weird!"

  • @geraldlogue7620
    @geraldlogue7620 6 місяців тому +194

    Disney made "A New Hope" back in 2015... They called it "The Force Awakens"...

    • @boqndimitrov8693
      @boqndimitrov8693 6 місяців тому +26

      it looked like a parody of the original, made by people who didn't watch it. and they continue to do so to this day...

    • @ProfoundKrab
      @ProfoundKrab 4 місяці тому +11

      They should've titled it Spaceballs 2

    • @ronaldthompson4989
      @ronaldthompson4989 25 днів тому +9

      @@ProfoundKrab The Quest For More Money. Spaceballs predicted it XD

  • @kylegivens3120
    @kylegivens3120 6 місяців тому +482

    They legit sound like they're still friends lmao.

    • @yunivor3146
      @yunivor3146 Місяць тому +16

      I'm pretty sure that if they were left in a room together without being able to kill each other they'd be having fun and trading playful banter in 20 minutes.

    • @argus2244
      @argus2244 Місяць тому +7

      @@yunivor3146 obi-wan could have possibly gotten answers from anakin and found a way to help him then too

  • @randomlyentertaining8287
    @randomlyentertaining8287 6 місяців тому +147

    The whole bit with Kenobi trying to decapitate himself was hilarious.

  • @hallo23779
    @hallo23779 Місяць тому +209

    i want a full movie of this 😭

    • @gabzitoshorts
      @gabzitoshorts  Місяць тому +16

      There is! ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Gabzito240p
      2 episodes & a spinoff out, finale coming soon

    • @JinzoCrash
      @JinzoCrash Місяць тому +4

      So pretty much, the Obi Wan series. And Ahsoka.

  • @holty1314
    @holty1314 6 місяців тому +549

    They did it’s called: “The Force Awakens”

    • @CabooseVonSparda
      @CabooseVonSparda 4 місяці тому +27

      Even then at least in Force Awakens they got it right. Han actually fucking dies via Lightsaber.

    • @inkyplays1858
      @inkyplays1858 4 місяці тому +27

      @@CabooseVonSpardaFacts, they didn’t just contradict George Lucas’s canon but they contradicted their own canon. Lmao

    • @Buttington_Headerson
      @Buttington_Headerson 4 місяці тому

      @@Biogermane❄️

    • @FractalPrism.
      @FractalPrism. 2 місяці тому +11

      oh...its A-Woke alright

    • @Mortimer_RS
      @Mortimer_RS Місяць тому +4

      ​@@FractalPrism. Woke until they got to China, classy Disney

  • @matiasvidlund1672
    @matiasvidlund1672 6 місяців тому +226

    There is one good thing about Disney's star wars movies and series. Without it this video would not have been made.

  • @gurvmlk
    @gurvmlk 2 місяці тому +34

    They're so accustomed to epic duels wherein never a single blow is struck, that they never realized lightsabers are, in fact, completely harmless.

  • @Dragonangel426
    @Dragonangel426 6 місяців тому +121

    Shoot you? We can't even shoot the broad side of parked car with someone helping us. It's the helmets...

  • @NoxAtlas
    @NoxAtlas 6 місяців тому +453

    Lightsabers back then: Elegant weapons from a more civilized era that melt through metal and cut people in half without causing a mess.
    Lightsabers these days: "Hey, look at my big flashlight. I got mine in neon pink and I can use it to look cool."

    • @katieandkevinsears7724
      @katieandkevinsears7724 6 місяців тому +32

      My son has a more effective lightsaber. It's made from an old motorcycle hand grip and a dowel rod that's painted green.

    • @Kakarot64.
      @Kakarot64. 6 місяців тому +11

      Lightsabers in reality if they ever get built: getting cut by the blade flash boils your bodily fluids causing you to explode from the expansion of fluids being turned into vapour by the extreme heat of the sabers blade..... also the Jedi will have to wear something that looks like a heavy duty suit of power armour or something similar that can protect them from the heat output of being near the ignited blade.

    • @lordkfc1297
      @lordkfc1297 6 місяців тому +3

      @@Kakarot64. The blade is covered by a plasma film, this gives it its form and serves to protect from the heat.

    • @endtimesprophecybroadcasti2311
      @endtimesprophecybroadcasti2311 6 місяців тому +6

      And it's a mood ring also!

    • @captainrex45
      @captainrex45 5 місяців тому +2

      @@lordkfc1297 found the guy that doesn't understand how lightsabers work... 🤦‍♂️

  • @bertimusprime7900
    @bertimusprime7900 6 місяців тому +319

    Nothing like Disney. A human wrote this, not an AI. there was reason behind the dialogue, both in character and from the writers' perspective. Disney hasn't managed that in years, and only once in Star Wars, but I don't think that was on purpose.

    • @deleetiusproductions3497
      @deleetiusproductions3497 5 місяців тому +13

      The lightsaber stuff is pretty much the only accurate thing here.

    • @EmpinadoMaxbmdggTheSun
      @EmpinadoMaxbmdggTheSun 3 місяці тому +4

      I think saying that Disney's star wars was written by AI is an insult to any existing AI

    • @iansrife5107
      @iansrife5107 3 місяці тому +5

      Rogue One was pretty good. I hear Andor was too, but I haven't seen that one.

    • @bertimusprime7900
      @bertimusprime7900 3 місяці тому +13

      @@iansrife5107 Watch Andor. It's literally the best star wars since the originals. It was made during the pandemic by a British team, and Disney didn't care about it, so they didn't interfere and ruin it.

    • @megaman37456
      @megaman37456 3 місяці тому +1

      @@iansrife5107 Rogue One was almost a 1:1 story beat and even some character personalities from the Halo Reach video game, that's why Rogue One seemed good, it ripped off far better material.

  • @DevinHull-n8e
    @DevinHull-n8e 2 місяці тому +60

    0:11 The time Obi-Wan Kenobi became equal to his master.

  • @duomaxwell6523
    @duomaxwell6523 6 місяців тому +149

    Even if the Stormtroopers did what Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted and shoot, it STILL wouldn't matter because they would ALWAYS MISS THEIR TARGET!

    • @ondururagittandeska2004
      @ondururagittandeska2004 6 місяців тому +16

      "Our clones were more accurate than this" "I know they were able to shoot the younglings" "What?" "What?"

    • @PiperVR
      @PiperVR 6 місяців тому +1

      Way to ruin the joke

    • @buttkciker101
      @buttkciker101 6 місяців тому

      that's what I wanted to see. and then have Obi Wan say oh fuck off in frustration

    • @vonzellable
      @vonzellable 6 місяців тому +4

      Was looking for this. They missed a good cannon joke by having the troopers try and shoot him.

    • @epicguy7479
      @epicguy7479 5 місяців тому +1

      @@PiperVR miss* the joke, fixed that for you.

  • @Blackadam-c9q
    @Blackadam-c9q 5 місяців тому +26

    Disney really did ruin lightsabers. Remember when Darth Maul's waist separated from his torso as he fell down the elevator shaft. Remember when Anakin jumped from the moving bot to get slashed in his arms & legs. If you think about it when Rey slashed Kylo Ren's face he should have been permanently wearing mask like Vader.

    • @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185
      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 Місяць тому

      They both did survive

    • @_aWiseMan
      @_aWiseMan Місяць тому +2

      Remember when if you so much as touched a saber you got permanently disfigured at best? Now you are completely fine.

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile Місяць тому +3

      ​@satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 Maul survived as a crippled, wretched creature kept alive out of spite, vader as an even more crippled, wretched creature kept alive by spite AND constantly technological assistance.

    • @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185
      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 Місяць тому +1

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile But they survived

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile Місяць тому +2

      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 it's pretty established that the dark side can do that. They're exceptions who did not get away without grievous injury. that's my point

  • @jamesmacleod671
    @jamesmacleod671 6 місяців тому +47

    Someone should tell Vader & kenobi that the replica ones you see the fans have mock fights with are more dangerous than theirs. LOL

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 Місяць тому +1

      This comment made my fingers hurt lol

  • @잡학박사_스피노
    @잡학박사_스피노 6 місяців тому +111

    0:11 How that get in there?

    • @dgags4548
      @dgags4548 6 місяців тому +6

      haha good one

    • @Kotor5000
      @Kotor5000 4 місяці тому +7

      "Aw don't cry"

    • @wolfeusmc2011
      @wolfeusmc2011 3 місяці тому +3

      "You were an embarrassment" haha you are a person of culture I see 🤣

    • @solomonstello
      @solomonstello 3 місяці тому +1

      😂

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 Місяць тому +1

      "If you strike me down, I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
      "I missed the part where that's my problem."

  • @KirbyIsCute
    @KirbyIsCute 4 місяці тому +19

    "Come on! Shoot me!"
    "Well, we would but we'd probably miss."
    "Then don't aim at me!"

  • @mifigor1935
    @mifigor1935 6 місяців тому +316

    You missed the part where Leia takes Obi-Wan's lightsaber and kicks Vader's ass

    • @shinyrayquaza9
      @shinyrayquaza9 5 місяців тому +39

      Leia still had more training than rey

    • @AzumarillConGafasBv
      @AzumarillConGafasBv 5 місяців тому +11

      I mean, Lucas himself considered that Leia was more powerful than Luke and Anakin

    • @mifigor1935
      @mifigor1935 5 місяців тому +29

      @@AzumarillConGafasBv well that could be interpreted differently Leia had leadership skills and I think that a well led army could accomplish more than a single jedi

    • @Talsedoom
      @Talsedoom 5 місяців тому

      I thought it was C3PO?

    • @mifigor1935
      @mifigor1935 5 місяців тому +17

      @@Talsedoom no it needs to be a strong progressive woman for Disney to accept it

  • @retrogamernr.8569
    @retrogamernr.8569 6 місяців тому +25

    Andor, Rogue One and the Phineas and Ferb starwars episode are the only star wars related things Disney delivered with...

    • @Raleyg
      @Raleyg 5 місяців тому +6

      In fairness, the Jedi games and animated shows were also pretty good. The rest though… yeah disappointing

    • @selfloathingweekly
      @selfloathingweekly 4 місяці тому

      Rogue one is good tho

    • @barghest94
      @barghest94 2 місяці тому

      ​@@selfloathingweeklyThat's what they just said.

    • @watermelongaming3698
      @watermelongaming3698 Місяць тому

      @@barghest94 The original message says "4 months ago (edited)", meaning that Rogue One may have been added to the comment after the reply mentioned it.

  • @gabzitoshorts
    @gabzitoshorts  6 місяців тому +235

    Makes much more sense if you watch the full story :) ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.htmlsi=nAtbnoCiALMOLL0P

    • @gabzito240p
      @gabzito240p 6 місяців тому +2

      facts

    • @AzraealGamer
      @AzraealGamer 6 місяців тому

      These videos are from blades and sorcery?

    • @dantefredul6326
      @dantefredul6326 5 місяців тому +2

      it made PLENTY of sense already lmao

    • @JamesGPacetti
      @JamesGPacetti 2 місяці тому

      HELL NO!!! Disney messed up enough Shit with Star Wars already. So Praise Jesus that they didn’t do that.

  • @zerothefaceless4888
    @zerothefaceless4888 6 місяців тому +512

    If Disney made a New Hope, Luke would be a girl who uses the force with no training, beats Vader in a sword fight and does anything better than Han does.

    • @icemariofan2746
      @icemariofan2746 6 місяців тому +136

      Yeah, and instead of being named Luke, she would be named Rey

    • @LegacyKnight-zm6vz
      @LegacyKnight-zm6vz 6 місяців тому +117

      She would also train Obi-Wan instead of the other way around, the movie would make a stupid joke every five seconds, and she would beat Palpatine in a few short seconds during the final battle

    • @timonsolus
      @timonsolus 6 місяців тому +17

      Actually, Disney should have rebooted the original trilogy instead of producing the awful sequels.
      In the Disney version, Leia should have gone to Dagobah for Jedi training with Yoda instead of Luke - she was better suited than he was to become a Jedi thanks to her experience as a Senator and as a senior Rebel commander. Luke should have stayed an X-Wing pilot and leader of Rogue Squadron, destroying the 2nd Death Star in Return of the Jedi in place of Wedge Antilles.

    • @lumbagoboi1649
      @lumbagoboi1649 6 місяців тому +12

      Lol force awakens really is just a new hope but the main character is overpowered

    • @z304legend
      @z304legend 6 місяців тому +2

      ​@@timonsolus come on now it would of still been woke, we wanted a challenge not a semi not challenge XD. Hope this was a joke btw

  • @Rhron
    @Rhron 6 місяців тому +37

    Have you ever heard the tragedy of limp lightsabers?

    • @stereotypespecialist
      @stereotypespecialist 6 місяців тому +2

      Is that a new Fred Durst project?

    • @Rb889
      @Rb889 Місяць тому

      Think about wonder woman... Think about wonder woman... YEAH!

  • @imperialbricks4217
    @imperialbricks4217 7 днів тому +1

    “B-b-b-b-but Sabine got stabbed in a non crucial part of the stomach and got immediate medical attention waaahhh” real argument I’ve heard by the way, simple you get stabbed in your body or face all the way through then you die that’s why Qui gon died you can just keep changing the rules and excusing it.

  • @bead4life
    @bead4life 4 місяці тому +9

    Back in the day, lightsabers have a way of fighting, form and all. Today, lightsabers are treated as a glowing baseball bat.

  • @NickAndriadze
    @NickAndriadze 5 місяців тому +6

    That, ''OH, f*ck off...'' at the end was so spot on, I love it.

  • @sleepinggorilla
    @sleepinggorilla 6 місяців тому +15

    Last Jedi had the opportunity to do something really cool.
    Luke was trying to get Kylo-Ren to kill him so that he could connect with Rey the way Obi-Wan did with him, except that he would connect with Kylo and guide him back to the light in the next movie.
    I really thought that's where they were going with the story. Maybe Kylo would die and they would all attach to Rey at the end and bring the Jedi back through her.

  • @revolution2762
    @revolution2762 6 місяців тому +119

    Nah if this was Disney they would have it play out like normal but paint Kenobi as the bad guy for accepting his death and taking away Vader’s agency.

    • @mutanthybrid3466
      @mutanthybrid3466 2 місяці тому +17

      And that is if they don't make Vader and Kenobi look like bumbling fools just to have some random feminist pop in and fix everything.

    • @PedroAlmeida-z1t
      @PedroAlmeida-z1t 2 місяці тому +8

      @@mutanthybrid3466
      Bro is giving me Obi-Wan Kenobi flashbacks

    • @testtalon
      @testtalon Місяць тому

      Obi Wan is thr bad guy for not accepting Anakins transition heh into Darth Vader.

    • @PedroAlmeida-z1t
      @PedroAlmeida-z1t Місяць тому

      @@testtalon
      The younglings would like to know your location

    • @Zehpolishw0nder
      @Zehpolishw0nder Місяць тому

      Yeah and Darth Vader would've been a woman

  • @landonweldy5468
    @landonweldy5468 5 місяців тому +12

    Disney did make a new hope, it’s called the force awakens

  • @zonxgi
    @zonxgi 6 місяців тому +16

    The part where he's trying to cut his head...😆

  • @Ferox2121
    @Ferox2121 6 місяців тому +54

    Missed the joke that obi wans lightsabre turns instantly red once Vader touches it... 😂

  • @EEVEE_fan16
    @EEVEE_fan16 2 місяці тому +2

    You know people complain about how lightsabers in video games dont cut people in half but there its kinda understandable, if you had a weapon that one hit kills everything that would eliminate all challenge, in movies tho ? Its just inconpetence

  • @TheDrexxus
    @TheDrexxus 3 місяці тому +9

    If DIsney wrote New Hope, Obi-wan would've been stabbed in a non-vital area, fake death, then come back in the next movie.
    Those cowards are too afraid to kill characters.
    Hell, even Tarkin probably would've survived and been the main villain of the sequel, lessening the impact and presence of Vader and ruining the movie.

    • @yosemiteyosemi488
      @yosemiteyosemi488 Місяць тому +1

      Unless the characters have a large white male fanbase, then that's another story.
      "Obi-wan, Han, Luke, and Chewie don't make it but what's this?! OH LOOK! PrInCess Leia makes it. In fact she doesn't just do that, she saves the whole galaxy all by herself!"

  • @abyssalseal
    @abyssalseal 7 днів тому +1

    half expected them to kiss lowkey

  • @antoniogirgenti9738
    @antoniogirgenti9738 6 місяців тому +91

    0:58
    Look who's talking.

  • @bigdummy9844
    @bigdummy9844 6 місяців тому +8

    If this was made by Disney they wouldn't need the ship to fly off, they could just jump into outter space and float off to the next planet

  • @arandompersonontheinternet8684
    @arandompersonontheinternet8684 5 місяців тому +3

    Lightsabers if they were actually made of light

  • @Clneditz
    @Clneditz 19 днів тому +2

    Whats stronger a knife or a disney lightsaber me: knife 😂

  • @HdNinjaMsBrickStudio
    @HdNinjaMsBrickStudio 3 місяці тому +14

    1:17 was that a reference to Luke saying nuh uh to being Vader's son

  • @zshah3107
    @zshah3107 6 місяців тому +63

    Live long & suck it, Disney Star Wars!

  • @TheRewasder97
    @TheRewasder97 6 місяців тому +7

    Lightsabers bouncing off stormtrooper armour like baseball bats are TIGHT!

    • @boqndimitrov8693
      @boqndimitrov8693 6 місяців тому +1

      Disney apparently decided to give the stormtroopers a chance for survival! 😂😂😂

  • @DJZOMBIE_2323
    @DJZOMBIE_2323 5 місяців тому +3

    "If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" Vader struck him and couldn't kill him... he struck him down.

  • @thePavuk
    @thePavuk 6 місяців тому +5

    "Order 66 was inside job" that's some t-shirt material

  • @Theinfectorss
    @Theinfectorss 6 місяців тому +27

    Light Saber, a weapon that shoots a plasma beam from a "kyber crystal", mainly used for *cutting and slicing* through enemies or objects.

    • @ImperativeGames
      @ImperativeGames 6 місяців тому

      Disney writers don't know what the word "plasma" means as the only thing they learned in school is SJW/woke ideology.

  • @AtomicBLB
    @AtomicBLB 27 днів тому +1

    It's wild how Lightsabers are like cardboard tubes in everything Disney Star Wars except the sequel trilogy and The Acolyte.

  • @Blackstonelegion
    @Blackstonelegion 6 місяців тому +5

    Cant wait for "If Disney made Phantom Menace"

  • @Damitsall
    @Damitsall 3 місяці тому +2

    There is no way Disney could have made a story this coherent.

  • @rubynall80
    @rubynall80 6 місяців тому +11

    Even before Disney, those Stormtroopers weren't going to be able to kill him.

  • @GeorgeCostanza-02
    @GeorgeCostanza-02 Місяць тому +1

    like my jedi masters before me, i have adapted the "8 year old girl at a soft ball tournament" jedi style.
    -kylo ren

  • @Obi-Wan_Kenobi
    @Obi-Wan_Kenobi 5 місяців тому +7

    I would never be this uncivilized!

  • @brennanjeffries4151
    @brennanjeffries4151 29 днів тому +1

    If a new hope was written by Disney, they would be fighting over a lovers quarrel and not over him thinking he turned padme against him

  • @humantacos9800
    @humantacos9800 6 місяців тому +107

    If Disney had made it, all the good guys would be strong empowered women with no character development.

    • @Ieatpaste23
      @Ieatpaste23 6 місяців тому +21

      And lesbian.

    • @petreyakir-dc9bp
      @petreyakir-dc9bp 6 місяців тому +11

      Can't forget the lesbian

    • @AedanTheGrey
      @AedanTheGrey 6 місяців тому +4

      You guys really do like to talk about hating women and minorities dont you?

    • @humantacos9800
      @humantacos9800 6 місяців тому +27

      @@AedanTheGrey Explain how that is hate.

    • @AedanTheGrey
      @AedanTheGrey 6 місяців тому

      @@humantacos9800 when you bitch about the inclusion of women and minorities in media, youre really just saying you hate them in a stealthy way
      If you dont hate them, maybe consider not joining the incels in their bullshit?

  • @kongernen9373
    @kongernen9373 Місяць тому +1

    We love the stormtroopers in the background

  • @Albumancer
    @Albumancer 3 місяці тому +5

    "What's next, Order 66 was an inside job?" 😂

  • @guymanitoba3347
    @guymanitoba3347 3 місяці тому +3

    Obiwan : I loved you anakin
    Vader : I know
    Obiwan : wait what?
    And happily ever after
    This is the way in disney now

  • @8ddball314
    @8ddball314 6 місяців тому +4

    “Safe flight home”
    That’ll teach him. W Vader.

  • @rex17ly62
    @rex17ly62 Місяць тому +1

    Well at least the stormtroopers stayed the same

  • @darthrevan7923
    @darthrevan7923 6 місяців тому +6

    honestly better then the entire disney franchise star wars.

  • @ohnothimagen224
    @ohnothimagen224 6 місяців тому +1

    This is more of a robot Chicken sketch than Disney.

  • @heyitsmeagain1961
    @heyitsmeagain1961 6 місяців тому +5

    Given Disney today, very surprised at least one character hasn’t upgraded from a lightsaber to a heavy saber.

  • @hunterkiller1440
    @hunterkiller1440 5 місяців тому +2

    At least the Acolyte got one thing right.

    • @Chaos4Eva1
      @Chaos4Eva1 3 місяці тому

      😂😂

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 Місяць тому +2

      You mean when they cancelled season 2?

  • @sharkblade101
    @sharkblade101 6 місяців тому +5

    Them Breaking The Fourth Wall It's So Freaking Hilarious! 😂

  • @lasarith2
    @lasarith2 6 місяців тому +13

    Wait till Star Wars man sees this .

  • @MadChristoph
    @MadChristoph 6 місяців тому +9

    SC 38 Reimagined is the only thing I consider A New Hope remaster

  • @TheKonniGroupShredder
    @TheKonniGroupShredder 25 днів тому +2

    Order 66 was def an inside job 😂

  • @silencedmaxim5889
    @silencedmaxim5889 6 місяців тому +12

    This isn't canon lore accurate. When Vader grabbed Ben's lightsaber, it should have turned from blue to red. Because that's how lightsabers work now.

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile Місяць тому

      That's like saying "oh the dark side is just when you get a little angry and now you're a sith" you and i both know that's not how it works lmao

    • @silencedmaxim5889
      @silencedmaxim5889 Місяць тому

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile Have you not seen the Disney SW show that's from (I'm guessing the Acolyte, but I can't be bothered to remember)?

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile Місяць тому

      @@silencedmaxim5889 why would i watch something i know is garbage? People who do that are just looking to be outraged and honestly, kind of deserve it.

    • @silencedmaxim5889
      @silencedmaxim5889 Місяць тому

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile You might not like it, but it's canon in the book of Disney. It's not canon in my book, but that's a personal matter.

  • @ironclad452
    @ironclad452 Місяць тому

    Geez... this was surprisingly accurate. I felt like I was watching an actual Disney scene! "see how funny and quirky we are? lol we're relatable!!"

  • @Lawrence_Talbot
    @Lawrence_Talbot 6 місяців тому +8

    Why didn’t Vader just throw a butter knife into Ben’s sternum? Must’ve not seen the acolyte

  • @notthething9531
    @notthething9531 4 місяці тому +1

    Too well written and the jokes actually land

  • @imonit4272
    @imonit4272 6 місяців тому +5

    “Well, try mine…” 😂🤣😂

  • @clairetellkamp6253
    @clairetellkamp6253 2 місяці тому +1

    I cannot describe how many times I express this complaint about people getting stabbed through the stomach or chest, and the response is: "ERM, ACTUALLY Darth Maul survived getting chopped in half! So... Yeah..."
    It's like... Yeah... Darth Maul surviving being bisected moments after Qui-Gon died of stomach stab is one of the prime examples of the complaint.... Almost like Darth Maul wasn't *originally* supposed to survive, and Fellatio Filoni decided to write him back in, consistency be damned.

  • @_JustynkaPL
    @_JustynkaPL 6 місяців тому +6

    This is comedy gold

  • @dr.frankensquirter
    @dr.frankensquirter 6 місяців тому +2

    And then Darth Vader says "the power of ManNNNnNNNNNNeeEEEe"

  • @DiegoB0525
    @DiegoB0525 6 місяців тому +7

    They already made a new hope ..... it was episode 7

  • @macrussell78
    @macrussell78 28 днів тому

    Obi-Wan evaporates leaving behind his robes.
    Luke:"Well that just happened..."

  • @koharumi1
    @koharumi1 6 місяців тому +4

    "Harder Ani!"

  • @seanswader7425
    @seanswader7425 5 місяців тому +2

    The one good thing about the Acolyte is that nobody got up in the next scene. I’m struggling to think of other good things, but I can at least admit that one

  • @RedSiegfried
    @RedSiegfried 6 місяців тому +6

    If Disney made A New Hope.
    Oh, don't worry. They will.

  • @BoohooYes-vw9hj
    @BoohooYes-vw9hj 25 днів тому +2

    Somehow general kenobi has returned

  • @StinkyGringo
    @StinkyGringo 6 місяців тому +16

    If Disney made it, obi wan would be a girl witch with a lazer whip, and vader would have 6 blades coming from one hilt. 😂

    • @albedo8451
      @albedo8451 5 місяців тому

      Me: thinking of Darth Ferb 😂

  • @jonathanwilliams1271
    @jonathanwilliams1271 2 місяці тому +1

    Using the force to fix "Kyberectile dysfunction”... So that's what "The Force Awakens" really meant...

  • @alexrompen805
    @alexrompen805 6 місяців тому +26

    This CANT be from Disney.... theres no sexual or gender identity politics and all 3 main characters are powerful white males with no DEI women around to tell and show them how much better then them they are....

    • @King_Nex
      @King_Nex 6 місяців тому +3

      To be fair, the original also had a woman berating all the men for most of the rescue.

    • @alexrompen805
      @alexrompen805 6 місяців тому +13

      @King_Nex true, but that woman had a character, flaws and personality.... can't be Disney with thkse things

    • @imperialhighcommand8535
      @imperialhighcommand8535 6 місяців тому +9

      @@alexrompen805 Exactly. She was human. Her flaws made her actual capabilities much more interesting, rather than just taking away all the stakes whenever she was on screen. She also showed moments of genuine weakness, struggle and empathy. She lost her homeworld. She struggled with whether or not to sacrifice the Rebels or her planet. And she comforted Luke after he lost Obi-Wan. And that was just in the first movie, after all. Plus, she and the other characters had to work together to stop the Empire. Luke wouldn't have blown up the Death Star without Han rushing into help at the last minute. And Han wouldn't have helped rescue Leia were it not for Luke convincing him to. And none of them would have gotten anywhere had Leia not hid the plans in R2. They all needed each other to succeed.
      You hit the nail on the head, in all honesty. No way Disney would do something like that today.

    • @Saeronor
      @Saeronor 6 місяців тому +1

      @@King_Nex Don't forget Chewbacca has always been a proud female of hairdom, spearheading body positivity while playing naked.

    • @josebencomo2385
      @josebencomo2385 5 місяців тому

      Well, the joke is the white hetero males have grown sexually ineffective so it is like Disney that way.

  • @KuchiKopium
    @KuchiKopium 12 днів тому

    "Source: Palpatine's ass? Where he pulled it from?"
    I was dying LOL

  • @amperesclaw9203
    @amperesclaw9203 6 місяців тому +4

    No because Disney wouldn’t have anything to copy off of

    • @Do_not_at_me_bro
      @Do_not_at_me_bro 15 днів тому

      I can't believe Disney still gets praise for literally ctrl C, ctrl V and then change 10 words

  • @zerorequiem526
    @zerorequiem526 Місяць тому

    This is basically just Anakin and Obi-Wan having a regular conversation in Clone Wars, lol

  • @Lac4ever
    @Lac4ever 6 місяців тому +3

    If disney made a new hope it would be crap like the rest after disney brought star wars

  • @mightypancake2211
    @mightypancake2211 26 днів тому +1

    Lore - plasma swords that really should kill the wielder before the enemy, yet it does it so well that the enemy can be diced up.
    Disney SW lore- Being killed by a lightsaber is impossible as you can be stabbed through and be walking 5 minutes later like nothing happened. and the wielder of the lightsaber is so incompetent they don't even make sure you are dead.
    Probably why Maul living through being chopped in half was such a buzz kill during the clone wars.

  • @Matthew-o3q
    @Matthew-o3q 25 днів тому +3

    Imagine being butt hurt over a movie😂

  • @E-Lazarus
    @E-Lazarus Місяць тому

    Usually when you don't want your enemy dead, you imprison him.

  • @unkn0wnrge189
    @unkn0wnrge189 6 місяців тому +5

    Disney light sabers are actually d1ld0s

  • @whiskeyvictor5703
    @whiskeyvictor5703 6 місяців тому +1

    Lightsaber in Star Wars: A New Hope: instant dismemberment in the cantina without warning. Savage.😱
    Lightsaber in Di$ney Wars: Hey, let's pose a lot with our rainbow-bright sabers! Modelling for a magazine cover.
    🙄