If Disney made A New Hope

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  • Опубліковано 2 січ 2025

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  • @gabzitoshorts
    @gabzitoshorts  14 днів тому +42

    If you wish that this was longer, I got you covered! I'm working on a full movie in 3 parts (& a spinoff) and the finale is coming soon!
    Here are the episodes that are currently out: ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Gabzito240p

  • @emancoy
    @emancoy 5 місяців тому +4389

    Disney Lightsabers are less effective than butter knife

    • @Dave-ug1rx
      @Dave-ug1rx 5 місяців тому +133

      Do you miss when lightsabers actually did what they were supposed to? Disney has ruined Star Wars. It's why I play the games instead. Those are more faithful.

    • @teekay1122
      @teekay1122 5 місяців тому +7

      @@Dave-ug1rxit’s meant for kids. Thats why they don’t cut through people

    • @slycat128
      @slycat128 5 місяців тому +85

      @@teekay1122since when was Star Wars meant for kids? Source?

    • @teekay1122
      @teekay1122 5 місяців тому +5

      @@slycat128 George lucas said it himself?😂 And kids can range up to teenagers

    • @slycat128
      @slycat128 5 місяців тому +53

      @@teekay1122 Lol Star Wars isn’t for kids it’s aimed at mature audiences bud

  • @Aftonyy
    @Aftonyy 5 місяців тому +2749

    that fuck off at the end is perfect

    • @Eco_Zenn
      @Eco_Zenn 5 місяців тому +12

      True lol

    • @LollipopWNoChainsaw
      @LollipopWNoChainsaw 5 місяців тому +9

      here's your 420 likes
      (not sure if 420 is still funny after "velma" so apologies in advance💀)

    • @MrSharariebrum
      @MrSharariebrum 5 місяців тому +3

      But Luke could have been like Ben "Language"

    • @quinterosjorge2
      @quinterosjorge2 5 місяців тому +2

      Fr

    • @jaymac7203
      @jaymac7203 5 місяців тому +1

      And the run lol

  • @Funball18
    @Funball18 5 місяців тому +3919

    Where’s the part where Vader finds a longsword and that somehow works more effectively than the lightsaber??

    • @dearcastiel4667
      @dearcastiel4667 5 місяців тому +333

      *A knife
      In Disney Star Wars, knives have a better jedi kill ratio than lightsabers...

    • @veryangryduckpl2122
      @veryangryduckpl2122 5 місяців тому +183

      No no, a katana, no way disney would make a medieval european weapon work.

    • @xTheMenaceHimselfx
      @xTheMenaceHimselfx 5 місяців тому

      ​@@veryangryduckpl2122 They hate Europe! GRRRR COLONIZERS!1!!

    • @lanefunai4714
      @lanefunai4714 5 місяців тому +45

      ​@@veryangryduckpl2122cultural appropriation!

    • @dutchmansmine9053
      @dutchmansmine9053 5 місяців тому

      @@lanefunai4714 Don't worry, they'll make sure she gay, Asian, or black.

  • @juangabrielcabardo21
    @juangabrielcabardo21 5 місяців тому +1834

    “Kyberectile dysfunction”

    • @toazethegecko
      @toazethegecko 4 місяці тому +13

      That shi had me rolling 😭

    • @DefileOdds
      @DefileOdds Місяць тому +3

      ​@@toazethegecko the, use the force, throw me up against the wall and choke me. I had to sit down so I didn't fall down, best star wars reference ever.

    • @theTomoaXL
      @theTomoaXL 8 днів тому +2

      Nothing to be ashamed of! It's very common in Jedi over 40!

    • @DefileOdds
      @DefileOdds 8 днів тому

      @theTomoaXL But I'm in the clone army, I was Literally born yesterday! I woke up today hit puberty and by bedtime I'm impotent!

  • @PalpatinesPlumber
    @PalpatinesPlumber 5 місяців тому +2564

    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Lightsaber the wise?

    • @danieldouglass3761
      @danieldouglass3761 5 місяців тому +94

      Its certainly a story the dysfuntional jedi wouldn't tell you... lol

    • @TheNikoNik
      @TheNikoNik 5 місяців тому +59

      @@danieldouglass3761 is it possible to unlearn of this powerlessness?

    • @Q_uinna
      @Q_uinna 5 місяців тому +40

      It's a LGBT (Lightsaber Gender Brings Trouble) legend...

    • @stereotypespecialist
      @stereotypespecialist 5 місяців тому +21

      With very little power, comes very little responsibility.

    • @StarwarsR
      @StarwarsR 5 місяців тому +18

      ​@@TheNikoNik Not from Disney

  • @pinky6758
    @pinky6758 5 місяців тому +2097

    Reminder that Finn took Kylo Ren´s lightsaber across his back, right through the spine and his ribcage, and he was perfectly fine the next movie.

    • @shade1121-ce8dc
      @shade1121-ce8dc 5 місяців тому +328

      Oh nothing some water and plastic couldn’t fix.

    • @jonathontoney2338
      @jonathontoney2338 5 місяців тому +225

      whats even more wild it was healed within a few in few hours of him being hit. they litterly flew back told everyone hand died then abandoned the base and he was already fully healed.

    • @RichardSmith-dl2dk
      @RichardSmith-dl2dk 5 місяців тому +123

      Something, something Bacta tank. Something, something the Force

    • @NoxAtlas
      @NoxAtlas 5 місяців тому +128

      Meanwhile, Qui-Gonn got stabbed once and died. Old Obi-Wan got hit once and was ghostified. Anakin and Luke: "I got cut with a lightsaber once and all I got is a prosthesis."

    • @Nobody-hw6jv
      @Nobody-hw6jv 5 місяців тому +21

      If my memory isn't failing me, I'm sure that Finn's specie wasn't stated in any movie, so it's possible that his specie can live without a spine if they even have any.

  • @fmonproductions
    @fmonproductions 5 місяців тому +958

    I feel like Darth Vader saying “safe flight home!” is such an underrated line

    • @fishsayswhatsgoingon
      @fishsayswhatsgoingon 3 місяці тому +15

      Have a happy landing.
      Avoid low ground.

    • @brianhu9700
      @brianhu9700 2 місяці тому +7

      The Imperials did intentionally allow the Millennium Falcon to leave the Death Star in order to allow them to track it to the Yavin 4 rebel base.

  • @stilescd7213
    @stilescd7213 5 місяців тому +476

    "Have you heard of the tale of Darth Plagueis the wise? Well he somehow survived too. Let him tell you himself."

  • @Blazieth
    @Blazieth 4 місяці тому +150

    In summary:
    Obi-Wan: "Kill me please"
    Vader: "No! You made it weird! You made it _SO_ weird!"

  • @kylegivens3120
    @kylegivens3120 5 місяців тому +408

    They legit sound like they're still friends lmao.

    • @yunivor3146
      @yunivor3146 2 дні тому +1

      I'm pretty sure that if they were left in a room together without being able to kill each other they'd be having fun and trading playful banter in 20 minutes.

    • @argus2244
      @argus2244 19 годин тому

      @@yunivor3146 obi-wan could have possibly gotten answers from anakin and found a way to help him then too

  • @Nokaret
    @Nokaret 4 місяці тому +98

    Obi-Wan died on the way back to his home planet. He became slightly more powerful than Vader imagined. The constant diarrhea remained.

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 26 днів тому +8

      But then...
      ... somehow Obi Wan returned.

  • @holty1314
    @holty1314 5 місяців тому +477

    They did it’s called: “The Force Awakens”

    • @Caboose47
      @Caboose47 3 місяці тому +25

      Even then at least in Force Awakens they got it right. Han actually fucking dies via Lightsaber.

    • @inkyplays1858
      @inkyplays1858 3 місяці тому +22

      @@Caboose47Facts, they didn’t just contradict George Lucas’s canon but they contradicted their own canon. Lmao

    • @Buttington_Headerson
      @Buttington_Headerson 3 місяці тому

      @@MyNameIsRabbitAndIKnowNothing❄️

    • @FractalPrism.
      @FractalPrism. Місяць тому +8

      oh...its A-Woke alright

    • @Mortimer_RS
      @Mortimer_RS 24 дні тому +3

      ​@@FractalPrism. Woke until they got to China, classy Disney

  • @hallo23779
    @hallo23779 20 днів тому +179

    i want a full movie of this 😭

    • @gabzitoshorts
      @gabzitoshorts  20 днів тому +11

      There is! ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Gabzito240p
      2 episodes & a spinoff out, finale coming soon

    • @JinzoCrash
      @JinzoCrash 13 днів тому +2

      So pretty much, the Obi Wan series. And Ahsoka.

  • @geraldlogue7620
    @geraldlogue7620 5 місяців тому +112

    Disney made "A New Hope" back in 2015... They called it "The Force Awakens"...

    • @boqndimitrov8693
      @boqndimitrov8693 5 місяців тому +16

      it looked like a parody of the original, made by people who didn't watch it. and they continue to do so to this day...

    • @ProfoundKrab
      @ProfoundKrab 3 місяці тому +3

      They should've titled it Spaceballs 2

  • @randomlyentertaining8287
    @randomlyentertaining8287 5 місяців тому +120

    The whole bit with Kenobi trying to decapitate himself was hilarious.

  • @matiasvidlund1672
    @matiasvidlund1672 5 місяців тому +211

    There is one good thing about Disney's star wars movies and series. Without it this video would not have been made.

  • @gurvmlk
    @gurvmlk Місяць тому +25

    They're so accustomed to epic duels wherein never a single blow is struck, that they never realized lightsabers are, in fact, completely harmless.

  • @NoxAtlas
    @NoxAtlas 5 місяців тому +432

    Lightsabers back then: Elegant weapons from a more civilized era that melt through metal and cut people in half without causing a mess.
    Lightsabers these days: "Hey, look at my big flashlight. I got mine in neon pink and I can use it to look cool."

    • @katieandkevinsears7724
      @katieandkevinsears7724 5 місяців тому +31

      My son has a more effective lightsaber. It's made from an old motorcycle hand grip and a dowel rod that's painted green.

    • @Kakarot64.
      @Kakarot64. 5 місяців тому +11

      Lightsabers in reality if they ever get built: getting cut by the blade flash boils your bodily fluids causing you to explode from the expansion of fluids being turned into vapour by the extreme heat of the sabers blade..... also the Jedi will have to wear something that looks like a heavy duty suit of power armour or something similar that can protect them from the heat output of being near the ignited blade.

    • @lordkfc1297
      @lordkfc1297 5 місяців тому +3

      @@Kakarot64. The blade is covered by a plasma film, this gives it its form and serves to protect from the heat.

    • @endtimesprophecybroadcasti2311
      @endtimesprophecybroadcasti2311 5 місяців тому +6

      And it's a mood ring also!

    • @captainrex45
      @captainrex45 4 місяці тому +1

      @@lordkfc1297 found the guy that doesn't understand how lightsabers work... 🤦‍♂️

  • @Dragonangel426
    @Dragonangel426 5 місяців тому +109

    Shoot you? We can't even shoot the broad side of parked car with someone helping us. It's the helmets...

  • @revolution2762
    @revolution2762 5 місяців тому +113

    Nah if this was Disney they would have it play out like normal but paint Kenobi as the bad guy for accepting his death and taking away Vader’s agency.

    • @mutanthybrid3466
      @mutanthybrid3466 Місяць тому +15

      And that is if they don't make Vader and Kenobi look like bumbling fools just to have some random feminist pop in and fix everything.

    • @PedroAlmeida-z1t
      @PedroAlmeida-z1t Місяць тому +7

      @@mutanthybrid3466
      Bro is giving me Obi-Wan Kenobi flashbacks

    • @testtalon
      @testtalon 9 днів тому

      Obi Wan is thr bad guy for not accepting Anakins transition heh into Darth Vader.

    • @PedroAlmeida-z1t
      @PedroAlmeida-z1t 8 днів тому

      @@testtalon
      The younglings would like to know your location

    • @Zehpolishw0nder
      @Zehpolishw0nder 13 годин тому

      Yeah and Darth Vader would've been a woman

  • @mifigor1935
    @mifigor1935 5 місяців тому +299

    You missed the part where Leia takes Obi-Wan's lightsaber and kicks Vader's ass

    • @shinyrayquaza9
      @shinyrayquaza9 4 місяці тому +36

      Leia still had more training than rey

    • @AzumarillConGafasBv
      @AzumarillConGafasBv 4 місяці тому +10

      I mean, Lucas himself considered that Leia was more powerful than Luke and Anakin

    • @mifigor1935
      @mifigor1935 4 місяці тому +26

      @@AzumarillConGafasBv well that could be interpreted differently Leia had leadership skills and I think that a well led army could accomplish more than a single jedi

    • @Talsedoom
      @Talsedoom 4 місяці тому

      I thought it was C3PO?

    • @mifigor1935
      @mifigor1935 4 місяці тому +15

      @@Talsedoom no it needs to be a strong progressive woman for Disney to accept it

  • @duomaxwell6523
    @duomaxwell6523 5 місяців тому +141

    Even if the Stormtroopers did what Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted and shoot, it STILL wouldn't matter because they would ALWAYS MISS THEIR TARGET!

    • @ondururagittandeska2004
      @ondururagittandeska2004 5 місяців тому +15

      "Our clones were more accurate than this" "I know they were able to shoot the younglings" "What?" "What?"

    • @PiperVR
      @PiperVR 5 місяців тому +1

      Way to ruin the joke

    • @buttkciker101
      @buttkciker101 5 місяців тому

      that's what I wanted to see. and then have Obi Wan say oh fuck off in frustration

    • @vonzellable
      @vonzellable 5 місяців тому +4

      Was looking for this. They missed a good cannon joke by having the troopers try and shoot him.

    • @epicguy7479
      @epicguy7479 4 місяці тому +1

      @@PiperVR miss* the joke, fixed that for you.

  • @DevinHull-n8e
    @DevinHull-n8e Місяць тому +44

    0:11 The time Obi-Wan Kenobi became equal to his master.

  • @Blackadam-c9q
    @Blackadam-c9q 4 місяці тому +22

    Disney really did ruin lightsabers. Remember when Darth Maul's waist separated from his torso as he fell down the elevator shaft. Remember when Anakin jumped from the moving bot to get slashed in his arms & legs. If you think about it when Rey slashed Kylo Ren's face he should have been permanently wearing mask like Vader.

    • @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185
      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 26 днів тому

      They both did survive

    • @_aWiseMan
      @_aWiseMan 4 дні тому +1

      Remember when if you so much as touched a saber you got permanently disfigured at best? Now you are completely fine.

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 2 дні тому +2

      ​@satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 Maul survived as a crippled, wretched creature kept alive out of spite, vader as an even more crippled, wretched creature kept alive by spite AND constantly technological assistance.

    • @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185
      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 2 дні тому +1

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile But they survived

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 2 дні тому +2

      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 it's pretty established that the dark side can do that. They're exceptions who did not get away without grievous injury. that's my point

  • @bertimusprime7900
    @bertimusprime7900 5 місяців тому +306

    Nothing like Disney. A human wrote this, not an AI. there was reason behind the dialogue, both in character and from the writers' perspective. Disney hasn't managed that in years, and only once in Star Wars, but I don't think that was on purpose.

    • @deleetiusproductions3497
      @deleetiusproductions3497 4 місяці тому +12

      The lightsaber stuff is pretty much the only accurate thing here.

    • @EmpinadoMaxbmdggTheSun
      @EmpinadoMaxbmdggTheSun 2 місяці тому +4

      I think saying that Disney's star wars was written by AI is an insult to any existing AI

    • @iansrife5107
      @iansrife5107 2 місяці тому +5

      Rogue One was pretty good. I hear Andor was too, but I haven't seen that one.

    • @bertimusprime7900
      @bertimusprime7900 2 місяці тому +10

      @@iansrife5107 Watch Andor. It's literally the best star wars since the originals. It was made during the pandemic by a British team, and Disney didn't care about it, so they didn't interfere and ruin it.

    • @megaman37456
      @megaman37456 2 місяці тому +1

      @@iansrife5107 Rogue One was almost a 1:1 story beat and even some character personalities from the Halo Reach video game, that's why Rogue One seemed good, it ripped off far better material.

  • @잡학박사_스피노
    @잡학박사_스피노 5 місяців тому +108

    0:11 How that get in there?

    • @dgags4548
      @dgags4548 4 місяці тому +6

      haha good one

    • @Kotor5000
      @Kotor5000 3 місяці тому +7

      "Aw don't cry"

    • @wolfeusmc2011
      @wolfeusmc2011 2 місяці тому +3

      "You were an embarrassment" haha you are a person of culture I see 🤣

    • @solomonstello
      @solomonstello 2 місяці тому +1

      😂

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 26 днів тому +1

      "If you strike me down, I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
      "I missed the part where that's my problem."

  • @zerothefaceless4888
    @zerothefaceless4888 5 місяців тому +498

    If Disney made a New Hope, Luke would be a girl who uses the force with no training, beats Vader in a sword fight and does anything better than Han does.

    • @icemariofan2746
      @icemariofan2746 5 місяців тому +133

      Yeah, and instead of being named Luke, she would be named Rey

    • @LegacyKnight-zm6vz
      @LegacyKnight-zm6vz 5 місяців тому +110

      She would also train Obi-Wan instead of the other way around, the movie would make a stupid joke every five seconds, and she would beat Palpatine in a few short seconds during the final battle

    • @timonsolus
      @timonsolus 5 місяців тому +17

      Actually, Disney should have rebooted the original trilogy instead of producing the awful sequels.
      In the Disney version, Leia should have gone to Dagobah for Jedi training with Yoda instead of Luke - she was better suited than he was to become a Jedi thanks to her experience as a Senator and as a senior Rebel commander. Luke should have stayed an X-Wing pilot and leader of Rogue Squadron, destroying the 2nd Death Star in Return of the Jedi in place of Wedge Antilles.

    • @lumbagoboi1649
      @lumbagoboi1649 5 місяців тому +11

      Lol force awakens really is just a new hope but the main character is overpowered

    • @z304legend
      @z304legend 5 місяців тому +1

      ​@@timonsolus come on now it would of still been woke, we wanted a challenge not a semi not challenge XD. Hope this was a joke btw

  • @jamesmacleod671
    @jamesmacleod671 5 місяців тому +43

    Someone should tell Vader & kenobi that the replica ones you see the fans have mock fights with are more dangerous than theirs. LOL

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 26 днів тому +1

      This comment made my fingers hurt lol

  • @NickAndriadze
    @NickAndriadze 4 місяці тому +6

    That, ''OH, f*ck off...'' at the end was so spot on, I love it.

  • @Rhron
    @Rhron 5 місяців тому +35

    Have you ever heard the tragedy of limp lightsabers?

    • @stereotypespecialist
      @stereotypespecialist 5 місяців тому +2

      Is that a new Fred Durst project?

    • @Rb889
      @Rb889 17 днів тому

      Think about wonder woman... Think about wonder woman... YEAH!

  • @LowTierHuman-10
    @LowTierHuman-10 3 місяці тому +9

    Back in the day, lightsabers have a way of fighting, form and all. Today, lightsabers are treated as a glowing baseball bat.

  • @landonweldy5468
    @landonweldy5468 4 місяці тому +12

    Disney did make a new hope, it’s called the force awakens

  • @Ferox2121
    @Ferox2121 5 місяців тому +54

    Missed the joke that obi wans lightsabre turns instantly red once Vader touches it... 😂

  • @antoniogirgenti9738
    @antoniogirgenti9738 5 місяців тому +91

    0:58
    Look who's talking.

  • @retrogamernr.8569
    @retrogamernr.8569 5 місяців тому +19

    Andor, Rogue One and the Phineas and Ferb starwars episode are the only star wars related things Disney delivered with...

    • @Raleyg
      @Raleyg 4 місяці тому +5

      In fairness, the Jedi games and animated shows were also pretty good. The rest though… yeah disappointing

    • @selfloathingweekly
      @selfloathingweekly 3 місяці тому

      Rogue one is good tho

    • @barghest94
      @barghest94 Місяць тому

      ​@@selfloathingweeklyThat's what they just said.

    • @watermelongaming3698
      @watermelongaming3698 4 дні тому

      @@barghest94 The original message says "4 months ago (edited)", meaning that Rogue One may have been added to the comment after the reply mentioned it.

  • @sleepinggorilla
    @sleepinggorilla 5 місяців тому +15

    Last Jedi had the opportunity to do something really cool.
    Luke was trying to get Kylo-Ren to kill him so that he could connect with Rey the way Obi-Wan did with him, except that he would connect with Kylo and guide him back to the light in the next movie.
    I really thought that's where they were going with the story. Maybe Kylo would die and they would all attach to Rey at the end and bring the Jedi back through her.

  • @zshah3107
    @zshah3107 5 місяців тому +63

    Live long & suck it, Disney Star Wars!

  • @KirbyIsCute
    @KirbyIsCute 3 місяці тому +15

    "Come on! Shoot me!"
    "Well, we would but we'd probably miss."
    "Then don't aim at me!"

  • @HdNinjaMsBrickStudio
    @HdNinjaMsBrickStudio 2 місяці тому +8

    1:17 was that a reference to Luke saying nuh uh to being Vader's son

  • @Theinfectorss
    @Theinfectorss 5 місяців тому +27

    Light Saber, a weapon that shoots a plasma beam from a "kyber crystal", mainly used for *cutting and slicing* through enemies or objects.

    • @ImperativeGames
      @ImperativeGames 5 місяців тому

      Disney writers don't know what the word "plasma" means as the only thing they learned in school is SJW/woke ideology.

  • @zonxgi
    @zonxgi 5 місяців тому +16

    The part where he's trying to cut his head...😆

  • @hunterkiller1440
    @hunterkiller1440 4 місяці тому +2

    At least the Acolyte got one thing right.

    • @Chaos4Eva1
      @Chaos4Eva1 2 місяці тому

      😂😂

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 26 днів тому

      You mean when they cancelled season 2?

  • @TheDrexxus
    @TheDrexxus 2 місяці тому +8

    If DIsney wrote New Hope, Obi-wan would've been stabbed in a non-vital area, fake death, then come back in the next movie.
    Those cowards are too afraid to kill characters.
    Hell, even Tarkin probably would've survived and been the main villain of the sequel, lessening the impact and presence of Vader and ruining the movie.

    • @yosemiteyosemi488
      @yosemiteyosemi488 19 днів тому +1

      Unless the characters have a large white male fanbase, then that's another story.
      "Obi-wan, Han, Luke, and Chewie don't make it but what's this?! OH LOOK! PrInCess Leia makes it. In fact she doesn't just do that, she saves the whole galaxy all by herself!"

  • @kongernen9373
    @kongernen9373 2 години тому +1

    We love the stormtroopers in the background

  • @rubynall80
    @rubynall80 5 місяців тому +11

    Even before Disney, those Stormtroopers weren't going to be able to kill him.

  • @humantacos9800
    @humantacos9800 5 місяців тому +104

    If Disney had made it, all the good guys would be strong empowered women with no character development.

    • @Ieatpaste23
      @Ieatpaste23 5 місяців тому +19

      And lesbian.

    • @petreyakir-dc9bp
      @petreyakir-dc9bp 5 місяців тому +9

      Can't forget the lesbian

    • @AedanTheGrey
      @AedanTheGrey 5 місяців тому +4

      You guys really do like to talk about hating women and minorities dont you?

    • @humantacos9800
      @humantacos9800 5 місяців тому +24

      @@AedanTheGrey Explain how that is hate.

    • @AedanTheGrey
      @AedanTheGrey 5 місяців тому

      @@humantacos9800 when you bitch about the inclusion of women and minorities in media, youre really just saying you hate them in a stealthy way
      If you dont hate them, maybe consider not joining the incels in their bullshit?

  • @TheRewasder97
    @TheRewasder97 5 місяців тому +6

    Lightsabers bouncing off stormtrooper armour like baseball bats are TIGHT!

    • @boqndimitrov8693
      @boqndimitrov8693 5 місяців тому +1

      Disney apparently decided to give the stormtroopers a chance for survival! 😂😂😂

  • @Damitsall
    @Damitsall 2 місяці тому +2

    There is no way Disney could have made a story this coherent.

  • @MadChristoph
    @MadChristoph 5 місяців тому +9

    SC 38 Reimagined is the only thing I consider A New Hope remaster

  • @bigdummy9844
    @bigdummy9844 5 місяців тому +6

    If this was made by Disney they wouldn't need the ship to fly off, they could just jump into outter space and float off to the next planet

  • @thePavuk
    @thePavuk 5 місяців тому +5

    "Order 66 was inside job" that's some t-shirt material

  • @Blackstonelegion
    @Blackstonelegion 5 місяців тому +5

    Cant wait for "If Disney made Phantom Menace"

  • @Albumancer
    @Albumancer 2 місяці тому +5

    "What's next, Order 66 was an inside job?" 😂

  • @darthrevan7923
    @darthrevan7923 5 місяців тому +6

    honestly better then the entire disney franchise star wars.

  • @heyitsmeagain1961
    @heyitsmeagain1961 5 місяців тому +5

    Given Disney today, very surprised at least one character hasn’t upgraded from a lightsaber to a heavy saber.

  • @GeorgeCostanza-02
    @GeorgeCostanza-02 4 дні тому +1

    like my jedi masters before me, i have adapted the "8 year old girl at a soft ball tournament" jedi style.
    -kylo ren

  • @Lawrence_Talbot
    @Lawrence_Talbot 5 місяців тому +8

    Why didn’t Vader just throw a butter knife into Ben’s sternum? Must’ve not seen the acolyte

  • @arandompersonontheinternet8684
    @arandompersonontheinternet8684 4 місяці тому +2

    Lightsabers if they were actually made of light

  • @lasarith2
    @lasarith2 5 місяців тому +13

    Wait till Star Wars man sees this .

  • @8ddball314
    @8ddball314 5 місяців тому +4

    “Safe flight home”
    That’ll teach him. W Vader.

  • @Obi-Wan_Kenobi
    @Obi-Wan_Kenobi 4 місяці тому +6

    I would never be this uncivilized!

  • @jonathanwilliams1271
    @jonathanwilliams1271 Місяць тому +1

    Using the force to fix "Kyberectile dysfunction”... So that's what "The Force Awakens" really meant...

  • @DiegoB0525
    @DiegoB0525 5 місяців тому +7

    They already made a new hope ..... it was episode 7

  • @clairetellkamp6253
    @clairetellkamp6253 Місяць тому +1

    I cannot describe how many times I express this complaint about people getting stabbed through the stomach or chest, and the response is: "ERM, ACTUALLY Darth Maul survived getting chopped in half! So... Yeah..."
    It's like... Yeah... Darth Maul surviving being bisected moments after Qui-Gon died of stomach stab is one of the prime examples of the complaint.... Almost like Darth Maul wasn't *originally* supposed to survive, and Fellatio Filoni decided to write him back in, consistency be damned.

  • @sharkblade101
    @sharkblade101 5 місяців тому +5

    Them Breaking The Fourth Wall It's So Freaking Hilarious! 😂

  • @Korijenkins1414
    @Korijenkins1414 3 дні тому +1

    It's the subtle things too. The lack of flashes when two guys dueling lock sabers, the sparks that always come off them now (lightsabers don't spark on each other, idk where that came from).
    What else? Oh, the lack of damage when someone hits an inanimate object. We went from these things cutting through blast doors in episode 1 to not even being able to cut a metal bar or leave a scorch mark on the ground with a miss (see all of the Obi-Wan duels, specifically Vader vs the chick inquisitor). When two lightsabers hit now there's usually a visible bounce from one plastic prop hitting the other because the props now weigh too much due to the lighting mechanisms inside.

  • @imonit4272
    @imonit4272 5 місяців тому +5

    “Well, try mine…” 😂🤣😂

  • @ohnothimagen224
    @ohnothimagen224 5 місяців тому +1

    This is more of a robot Chicken sketch than Disney.

  • @StinkyGringo
    @StinkyGringo 5 місяців тому +16

    If Disney made it, obi wan would be a girl witch with a lazer whip, and vader would have 6 blades coming from one hilt. 😂

    • @albedo8451
      @albedo8451 4 місяці тому

      Me: thinking of Darth Ferb 😂

  • @seanswader7425
    @seanswader7425 4 місяці тому +2

    The one good thing about the Acolyte is that nobody got up in the next scene. I’m struggling to think of other good things, but I can at least admit that one

  • @koharumi1
    @koharumi1 5 місяців тому +4

    "Harder Ani!"

  • @newyorkstatestormchasers
    @newyorkstatestormchasers 18 днів тому

    The "fuck off" at the end legit made me laugh out loud...and it's nighttime here. 😂

  • @_JustynkaPL
    @_JustynkaPL 5 місяців тому +6

    This is comedy gold

  • @DJZOMBIE_2323
    @DJZOMBIE_2323 4 місяці тому +2

    "If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" Vader struck him and couldn't kill him... he struck him down.

  • @RedSiegfried
    @RedSiegfried 5 місяців тому +6

    If Disney made A New Hope.
    Oh, don't worry. They will.

  • @DamontheDemon7
    @DamontheDemon7 4 місяці тому +1

    1:20
    Love the pose here.
    Arms folded with those defective sabers

  • @silencedmaxim5889
    @silencedmaxim5889 5 місяців тому +11

    This isn't canon lore accurate. When Vader grabbed Ben's lightsaber, it should have turned from blue to red. Because that's how lightsabers work now.

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 2 дні тому

      That's like saying "oh the dark side is just when you get a little angry and now you're a sith" you and i both know that's not how it works lmao

    • @silencedmaxim5889
      @silencedmaxim5889 2 дні тому

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile Have you not seen the Disney SW show that's from (I'm guessing the Acolyte, but I can't be bothered to remember)?

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 2 дні тому

      @@silencedmaxim5889 why would i watch something i know is garbage? People who do that are just looking to be outraged and honestly, kind of deserve it.

    • @silencedmaxim5889
      @silencedmaxim5889 2 дні тому

      @@Tom_Cruise_Missile You might not like it, but it's canon in the book of Disney. It's not canon in my book, but that's a personal matter.

  • @ironclad452
    @ironclad452 Годину тому

    Geez... this was surprisingly accurate. I felt like I was watching an actual Disney scene! "see how funny and quirky we are? lol we're relatable!!"

  • @amperesclaw9203
    @amperesclaw9203 5 місяців тому +3

    No because Disney wouldn’t have anything to copy off of

  • @dr.frankensquirter
    @dr.frankensquirter 5 місяців тому +2

    And then Darth Vader says "the power of ManNNNnNNNNNNeeEEEe"

  • @Lac4ever
    @Lac4ever 5 місяців тому +3

    If disney made a new hope it would be crap like the rest after disney brought star wars

  • @nathanpierce7681
    @nathanpierce7681 10 днів тому

    i love the two stormtroopers in the background CLEARLY debating on shooting ben and ultimately deciding against it for one reason or another
    also the fact that vader just refuses to kill obi wan because he'll just become a force ghost sounds perfectly in character, he'd probably want him imprisoned tbh

  • @gabzitoshorts
    @gabzitoshorts  5 місяців тому +235

    Makes much more sense if you watch the full story :) ua-cam.com/video/RDA0JOK48Fk/v-deo.htmlsi=nAtbnoCiALMOLL0P

    • @gabzito240p
      @gabzito240p 5 місяців тому +2

      facts

    • @AzraealGamer
      @AzraealGamer 5 місяців тому

      These videos are from blades and sorcery?

    • @dantefredul6326
      @dantefredul6326 4 місяці тому +2

      it made PLENTY of sense already lmao

    • @JamesGPacetti
      @JamesGPacetti Місяць тому

      HELL NO!!! Disney messed up enough Shit with Star Wars already. So Praise Jesus that they didn’t do that.

  • @guymanitoba3347
    @guymanitoba3347 2 місяці тому +2

    Obiwan : I loved you anakin
    Vader : I know
    Obiwan : wait what?
    And happily ever after
    This is the way in disney now

  • @TheKaiyaK
    @TheKaiyaK 5 місяців тому +3

    Have you ever heard a tragedy of Disney trylogy?

  • @emperorvader283
    @emperorvader283 4 місяці тому +1

    Vader has 2 Kyber Crystals.

  • @unkn0wnrge189
    @unkn0wnrge189 5 місяців тому +5

    Disney light sabers are actually d1ld0s

  • @E-Lazarus
    @E-Lazarus 16 днів тому

    Usually when you don't want your enemy dead, you imprison him.

  • @teamofone1219
    @teamofone1219 Місяць тому

    Obi Wan: Come on shoot me.
    Stormtrooper: Sorry sir Disney somehow made us even worse at aiming. We’re practically just canon fodder at this point.
    Obi wan: But you were just ordered by vader to miss right?
    Stormtrooper: Nope we just are that terrible.
    Obi Wan: God damn it.

  • @alexrompen805
    @alexrompen805 5 місяців тому +25

    This CANT be from Disney.... theres no sexual or gender identity politics and all 3 main characters are powerful white males with no DEI women around to tell and show them how much better then them they are....

    • @King_Nex
      @King_Nex 5 місяців тому +3

      To be fair, the original also had a woman berating all the men for most of the rescue.

    • @alexrompen805
      @alexrompen805 5 місяців тому +12

      @King_Nex true, but that woman had a character, flaws and personality.... can't be Disney with thkse things

    • @imperialhighcommand8535
      @imperialhighcommand8535 5 місяців тому +8

      @@alexrompen805 Exactly. She was human. Her flaws made her actual capabilities much more interesting, rather than just taking away all the stakes whenever she was on screen. She also showed moments of genuine weakness, struggle and empathy. She lost her homeworld. She struggled with whether or not to sacrifice the Rebels or her planet. And she comforted Luke after he lost Obi-Wan. And that was just in the first movie, after all. Plus, she and the other characters had to work together to stop the Empire. Luke wouldn't have blown up the Death Star without Han rushing into help at the last minute. And Han wouldn't have helped rescue Leia were it not for Luke convincing him to. And none of them would have gotten anywhere had Leia not hid the plans in R2. They all needed each other to succeed.
      You hit the nail on the head, in all honesty. No way Disney would do something like that today.

    • @Saeronor
      @Saeronor 5 місяців тому +1

      @@King_Nex Don't forget Chewbacca has always been a proud female of hairdom, spearheading body positivity while playing naked.

    • @josebencomo2385
      @josebencomo2385 4 місяці тому

      Well, the joke is the white hetero males have grown sexually ineffective so it is like Disney that way.

  • @Vennnaya
    @Vennnaya 13 днів тому

    The dialogue is too good for this to have been written by disney lmao

  • @SB-vj7sz
    @SB-vj7sz 5 місяців тому +6

    Just to be clear, Kenobi didn’t die in New Hope. Watch all the other lightsaber battles. Hands fly off. Heads roll. Kenobi force teleported much the same way Luke did in the Last Jedi, but closer as to not strain himself. He left only his cloak and boarded a transport to Zeltros, where he is retired, only to appear as a Force Ghost to keep up appearances.

    • @epicguy7479
      @epicguy7479 4 місяці тому

      Where the hell did you get that info from? Luke died just the way as Kylo Ren cuts his projector-self off in half so it wouldn’t make sense if Kenobi still managed to survive and “transport” to Zeltros just like Luke when he fell off the rock at the sunset, how do you explain that? Just because he left his cloak on the floor after his final fight with Darth Vader doesn’t evaluate your lack of evidence for retiring that says otherwise.
      Even if Kenobi “did” used projection to fight Vader, it won’t matter considering the fact that he would still be dead a few YEARS later in the ABY as a force ghost.

    • @SB-vj7sz
      @SB-vj7sz 4 місяці тому

      @@epicguy7479 it doesn’t matter how long his retirement was. I suggest that Old Ben was never struck by Vader in the first place. As a long time fan I can use the original three movies as proof. In what you kids call “New Hope” the fight between Kenobi and Vader left no body at all, but the fight between Luke and Vader cost Luke a hand. Pieces are left behind. No one else vanishes during a light saber fight. If I expand to the 3 prequels, heads roll. Bodies are left behind. Even if I include the sorry excuse for the three “Next Jedi”, they dumbed down the light saber but Finn still had evidence of being hit. As you put it, after being swiped through, Luke falls off a mountain. But Ben just disrobes and is gone. The saber doesn’t even touch him, let alone cut through. Everything he does after can be done through the force while still alive. The only embellishment I offer is going to Zeltros, cause heck, why not give his retirement some flair.

  • @zerorequiem526
    @zerorequiem526 14 днів тому

    This is basically just Anakin and Obi-Wan having a regular conversation in Clone Wars, lol

  • @chrisstetsko5020
    @chrisstetsko5020 5 місяців тому +10

    WRONG! If Disney had done this scene both Vader and Obi-Wan would be gay-women talking it out. Just as Kathleen Kennedy and Leslye Headland planned it out. And the rating would sink like the Titanic.

  • @TheMist81
    @TheMist81 4 місяці тому +2

    Where is the black genderswapped vader? This is mandatory for a 2024 disney remake.

  • @ericbass3349
    @ericbass3349 5 місяців тому +10

    I don't know, to really be Disney-fied, Darth Vader would have to be a woman and Obi-Wan would be gay, possibly in a wheelchair. Other suggestions on further Disney-fication are welcomed.

    • @dutchmansmine9053
      @dutchmansmine9053 5 місяців тому

      Luke would have to be a black woman, and Han would be a bumbling idiot, and his relationship with Chewbacca would be an analogy for slavery.

  • @fr0styyproductionsmc
    @fr0styyproductionsmc 5 місяців тому +1

    You should make a full length movie. I’d watch every second.

  • @sagaswp
    @sagaswp 5 місяців тому +13

    If Disney had made this Luke would be Lucy and she'd be lame and gay.

  • @defiction0001
    @defiction0001 3 місяці тому +1

    I'm Rey.
    Rey what?
    Reyzor Crest.