"I have big feels for this. I struggle with self hatred from repetitive failures due to inattentiveness." inattentiveness? How about toxic people who control other people by nitpicking other people's errors?
I needed this today. I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression and i have struggled to keep my room and any other spaces of mine clean and/or organized my whole life. I try and fail many different things to help me stay organized, but inevitably my depression takes hold or i have a stressful period at work and the mess will reach horrible levels. Any time it comes up, i feel so worthless and helpless and guilty and ashamed. I just moved back out after moving in with my dad after the pandemic started, and im of course in a stressful time at work and unpacking and getting the last of my stuff out of my dad's place. I came to get the last of my things out and i (probably subconsciously looking for some approval or recognition) pointed out i was almost done and had done a ton of work already to clean and pack. My dad looked my in the eye and went on a whole "youve disrespected my house for the past 2 years and it's unacceptable and disgusting" etc and i have been crying since (i have a really strong physiological cry response, but i think i just havent let myself have any type of emotional catharsis for a while). Im sitting in my room fending off a ahame spiral because otherwise i will not be able to actually do any work to fix the problem. I don't really like inspirational quotes and it was hard to come down off the initial shame pain (that clenching intense feeling). Usually i try to distract myself off the thinking to sort of "reboot" so i can get away from the spiral as fast as i can. I wasn't responding to my usual types of videos so i was desperately looking for tips to stop the sham3 spiral or explain it later in case i am shamed for crying (even though i did EVERYTHING to hold it back because *shocker* ive been shamed and accused of being manipulative my whole life because i have no way to stop myself crying). I wasnt looking for attention, i just felt such overwhelming shame. Just listening to this was nice to help. I am medicated- vyvanse and lexapro- and see a therapist regularly and i have made a ton of profress, but of course things like this, where i break down over the same trauma AGAIN, make it hard to see all that hard work and fwel like a setback even though i know recovery and building back my self esteem is not a straight line and i will have setbacks like this, but it's hard because 1) it's the same old infected wound being ripped open afresh and 2)in the grand scheme of things, it seems like such a "small" thing to have a meltdown about- even though i KNOW that for me, it's tied to a ton of things that affect my executive function and self worth.
I also come from a long line of neurotic Jewish women, im just the only one who has ADHD and executive dysfunction and got diagnoses and sees a therapist.
Much love. Your not alone. When I’m in the spiral it’s hard to remember to breath and remain present. Meditation and recognition of egoic thought have gone a long way for me. But I still struggle with deep shame.
You deserve to have a father who loves you unconditionally. I wish you well in your efforts to reparent yourself, in setting boundaries internally and externally so you no longer have to tolerate emotional abuse and neglect from those close to you, from loved ones as happened you in your childhood. Wishing you well ❤
Min 12:10 TY & sorry for your experience :( I have a had similar problems, then family and friends *criticize* me for remembering the stories & *Not Forgiving & Letting Go" Great, add shame, guilt & religious type gaslighting on top of my guilt & shame over procrastination, ADHD avoiding controversy & narricistic people surrounding me. In mid 40s now & only learned about depression, ADHD, boundaries, codepencey, people pleasing & narricistic abuse in last 10 years. Trying to improve my stuff as much as possible
I reflect painfully on how many relationships were damaged by my overreacting when feeling rejection. I feel like I left bad reputations behind me. I wake up with such regret sometimes.
To be honest, I really think RSD is a almost neuro-physical consquence of ADHD. You can see it in very small, healthy and loved children. It will get worse through experience for sure, but I’m pretty sure the predisposition comes first (and will, alas, quite soon throw a burden on every relationship). I feel it is originally wired in the hunter-predator brain, I just don’t yet exactly know how. Thank you so mich for your work!
agreed, My 4 yo daughter has it. There needs to be a study that doesn’t assume it’s a learned reaction. It’s visceral and has existed my entire life. There has to be a physical component to it. Please stop assuming it’s a learned behavior. In my experience, and now watching my daughter, it isn’t. It is such a hard thing in my life and my relationships. I really wish there was any kind of successful treatment either medication or therapeutic. It gives me analysis paralysis and thought spirals that are consuming.
I haven’t found any videos or information about how people with RSD tend to reject people first because we don’t want to be rejected. When I realized this, it was very painful for me.
Hello, I definitely have a rejection phobia and in terms of very specific symptoms it fits even closer to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria were that to be an actual diagnosis. However, I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or even presumed to have had ADHD. But the only information about RSD that I've been able to find is ONLY in the context of ADHD. Is there anyone who can send me in the direction of learning about and coping with RSD without the automatic assumption of any underlying ADHD? Please and thank you.
It's not that we as people with adhd are not listening, it's just I can't follow every detail your saying. I'm literally staring at you listening but if it's not something I'm interested in my brain goes on automatic sleep mode and I will only pick up very few things
Can RSD develop as a recovering or recovered addict and start to remember what you had done and the shame and rejection that you received from your family and community. The shame of your behaviors and actions? The negative thoughts about yourself in your head is non stop and sometimes crippling. Could recovering addicts benefit by being diagnosed and treated for RSD and possibly not have ADHD ?Your video is extremely inciteful.
The studies that led to the conclusion that depression is a result of too low dopamine uptake have recently been discovered to be fraudulent and SSRI's do not perform via the mechanism that is claimed.
I'm on a very low dose of Sertraline (25 mg) and it does seem to help my anxiety a bit. hasn't seem to have affected my focus too much, but I am also on standard stimulants.
I have big feels for this. I struggle with self hatred from repetitive failures due to inattentiveness.
"I have big feels for this. I struggle with self hatred from repetitive failures due to inattentiveness."
inattentiveness?
How about toxic people who control other people by nitpicking other people's errors?
The boundaries between being "too sensitive" and actually being reasonable, speaking up for myself, are so difficult for me to see
This information helps a lot with anyone suffering from social anxiety. These rejection emotions, feelings and beliefs are not endemic only to ADHD.
I needed this today. I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression and i have struggled to keep my room and any other spaces of mine clean and/or organized my whole life. I try and fail many different things to help me stay organized, but inevitably my depression takes hold or i have a stressful period at work and the mess will reach horrible levels. Any time it comes up, i feel so worthless and helpless and guilty and ashamed. I just moved back out after moving in with my dad after the pandemic started, and im of course in a stressful time at work and unpacking and getting the last of my stuff out of my dad's place. I came to get the last of my things out and i (probably subconsciously looking for some approval or recognition) pointed out i was almost done and had done a ton of work already to clean and pack. My dad looked my in the eye and went on a whole "youve disrespected my house for the past 2 years and it's unacceptable and disgusting" etc and i have been crying since (i have a really strong physiological cry response, but i think i just havent let myself have any type of emotional catharsis for a while). Im sitting in my room fending off a ahame spiral because otherwise i will not be able to actually do any work to fix the problem. I don't really like inspirational quotes and it was hard to come down off the initial shame pain (that clenching intense feeling). Usually i try to distract myself off the thinking to sort of "reboot" so i can get away from the spiral as fast as i can. I wasn't responding to my usual types of videos so i was desperately looking for tips to stop the sham3 spiral or explain it later in case i am shamed for crying (even though i did EVERYTHING to hold it back because *shocker* ive been shamed and accused of being manipulative my whole life because i have no way to stop myself crying). I wasnt looking for attention, i just felt such overwhelming shame. Just listening to this was nice to help. I am medicated- vyvanse and lexapro- and see a therapist regularly and i have made a ton of profress, but of course things like this, where i break down over the same trauma AGAIN, make it hard to see all that hard work and fwel like a setback even though i know recovery and building back my self esteem is not a straight line and i will have setbacks like this, but it's hard because 1) it's the same old infected wound being ripped open afresh and 2)in the grand scheme of things, it seems like such a "small" thing to have a meltdown about- even though i KNOW that for me, it's tied to a ton of things that affect my executive function and self worth.
I also come from a long line of neurotic Jewish women, im just the only one who has ADHD and executive dysfunction and got diagnoses and sees a therapist.
I know exactly how gutted that would have made you feel. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Much love. Your not alone. When I’m in the spiral it’s hard to remember to breath and remain present. Meditation and recognition of egoic thought have gone a long way for me. But I still struggle with deep shame.
😅❤
You deserve to have a father who loves you unconditionally. I wish you well in your efforts to reparent yourself, in setting boundaries internally and externally so you no longer have to tolerate emotional abuse and neglect from those close to you, from loved ones as happened you in your childhood. Wishing you well ❤
Min 12:10 TY & sorry for your experience :( I have a had similar problems, then family and friends *criticize* me for remembering the stories & *Not Forgiving & Letting Go" Great, add shame, guilt & religious type gaslighting on top of my guilt & shame over procrastination, ADHD avoiding controversy & narricistic people surrounding me. In mid 40s now & only learned about depression, ADHD, boundaries, codepencey, people pleasing & narricistic abuse in last 10 years. Trying to improve my stuff as much as possible
We’ll said! I cringed when she recounted her experience 😮
Now quite a few weeks have been listening hours and hours videos from ADDittude , very useful, BUT THIS ONE IS SO SPECIALLY USEFUL AND HELPING💖
I reflect painfully on how many relationships were damaged by my overreacting when feeling rejection. I feel like I left bad reputations behind me. I wake up with such regret sometimes.
To be honest, I really think RSD is a almost neuro-physical consquence of ADHD. You can see it in very small, healthy and loved children. It will get worse through experience for sure, but I’m pretty sure the predisposition comes first (and will, alas, quite soon throw a burden on every relationship).
I feel it is originally wired in the hunter-predator brain, I just don’t yet exactly know how. Thank you so mich for your work!
agreed, My 4 yo daughter has it. There needs to be a study that doesn’t assume it’s a learned reaction. It’s visceral and has existed my entire life. There has to be a physical component to it.
Please stop assuming it’s a learned behavior. In my experience, and now watching my daughter, it isn’t. It is such a hard thing in my life and my relationships. I really wish there was any kind of successful treatment either medication or therapeutic. It gives me analysis paralysis and thought spirals that are consuming.
RSD is not endemic to ADHD.
Social anxiety itself is RSD.
I haven’t found any videos or information about how people with RSD tend to reject people first because we don’t want to be rejected. When I realized this, it was very painful for me.
I’m so glad I found this channel. Thanks for doing these.
We only have ourself to love ourself its on inside of uswe have to make up for lost time time to love our self
I gave up on planning because I never really did things on my plan and it started to make me feel bad. So I keep stopping
I'm so sorry those soccer mom's did that to you ❤️
what is the different between RSD and emotional flashbacks\emotional regressions?
Hello, I definitely have a rejection phobia and in terms of very specific symptoms it fits even closer to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria were that to be an actual diagnosis. However, I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or even presumed to have had ADHD. But the only information about RSD that I've been able to find is ONLY in the context of ADHD. Is there anyone who can send me in the direction of learning about and coping with RSD without the automatic assumption of any underlying ADHD?
Please and thank you.
Lifes Season brand Mood Stabil-T. With
Theanine and 5 HTP and Paradise magnesium formula with saffron.
It's not that we as people with adhd are not listening, it's just I can't follow every detail your saying. I'm literally staring at you listening but if it's not something I'm interested in my brain goes on automatic sleep mode and I will only pick up very few things
Can RSD develop as a recovering or recovered addict and start to remember what you had done and the shame and rejection that you received from your family and community. The shame of your behaviors and actions? The negative thoughts about yourself in your head is non stop and sometimes crippling. Could recovering addicts benefit by being diagnosed and treated for RSD and possibly not have ADHD ?Your video is extremely inciteful.
Do you think there is a correlation between drug addiction and RSD? Thank you
Subtitles translation do not work
I’m in them a lot
Its pain..its confusion its abuse. .please ppl take respinsibility by meditation. . You are just who God says you are
We have been hearing that SSRI's can make ADHD worse?
I tried venlafaxine and my anxiety was better but my executive functioning became so much worse and I didn't have the anxiety to motivate me
Ssri’s were so bad for me. The worst experience of my life was my big pharma psych med roller coaster
Bad for me too.
The studies that led to the conclusion that depression is a result of too low dopamine uptake have recently been discovered to be fraudulent and SSRI's do not perform via the mechanism that is claimed.
I'm on a very low dose of Sertraline (25 mg) and it does seem to help my anxiety a bit. hasn't seem to have affected my focus too much, but I am also on standard stimulants.
Plz apologize to your children bc you dumped you emotional baggage on innocent children . Plz apologize everday
disturbing.