Kaelynn Responds to Love On The Spectrum Critique
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- I believe Love On The Spectrum is a great ✨step✨ toward increasing autism representation in media . 📺
There’s also plenty of room to grow! 🩷
🌱 That “growth” becomes a tangible possibility when the autism community can collectively advocate for the ongoing improvement we all hope to see. 
And in the meantime, I believe we should celebrate the great strides being made! ⭐️ #autism #autistic #neurodivergent 
"Not interested in a debate." That's good boundaries. Thank you for sharing with us.
I haven't watched the show, but I still remember the "I am Autism" commercial from Autism Speaks, and how painful that sort of representation was when I was a child. Anything is a step forwards from that. Thank you for putting yourself out there on the internet and Netflix, Kaelynn, because the world needs better autism representation than what I had growing up.
that has nothing to do with this....
@MorganJ You’re joking, right? You think an ABA practitioner, like Kaelynn, is “good representation?” Next you’re going to say that gay conversion therapists who are gay themselves are good representatives of the gay community.
@@GhostIntoTheFog In the nicest possible way, anything is better than my representation being "I will make sure that your marriage fails." and "I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain." Kaelynn posting videos of herself, speaking in her own words is a huge step towards progress compared to how people like me were depicted in the media when I was growing up.
@@GhostIntoTheFogshe is FANTASTIC representation! I’m truly sorry that you had a bad experience with ABA therapy. Truly sorry. But you don’t get to speak for all people with autism. I know that ABA has a rather sordid history, but it’s so much different now than it used to be. ABA has helped countless people live happy, healthy, and successful lives, because it helps you work with your diagnosis rather than against it. While I’m sure there are still old school ABA therapists that use techniques that are outdated and harmful, the vast majority don’t. For countless people, ABA has become the difference between living an independent life and a dependent one. It’s really not ok for you to tell another autistic person that they shouldn’t put their life out there on a public platform because you don’t like a type of therapy that has worked so well for them. Your judgement is not only gross, but it’s potentially very harmful as well.
Autism speaks is the _worst._ They're the polar opposite to positive representation.
I really like the show myself. Also what I think a lot of Americans (which is the target audience) don't realize is that the producers on this show are Australian. The hyper complex edited docuseries with anxiety inducing background music is an American thing (and certain Latin American countries to be fair). I have seen many slice of life foreign docuseries about neurotypical people with the same simple style and light music. Its meant to make the viewing pleasant not infantilize anyone.
I was thinking something similar, and yeah it definitely made me feel relaxed and I knew just by hearing the music that I was in for something very special and, at times, tender
Was also thinking similar, saw so many British shows with similar vibes and they were on a variety of subjects.
This makes sense. I’m Australian and the editing style and music felt very normal/standard to me. Not patronising at all. Also makes sense that the producer is Australian with how much they featured everyone’s dogs. Very reflective of us Aussie’s love of dogs 🤣
yes! it reminded me of great british bakeoff
I thought it was made just to feel light and romantic. I mean it matches the concept?? We want soft light healthy relationships. That's the whole vibe we want to feel from the show. The same goes about the colors that from what I remember are kinda soft in general.
I genuinely do not understand how someone can earnestly say that a show is infantilizing autistic people while also saying that the people on the show don’t realize that the show was infantilizing them and can’t be trusted when they say they like their portrayal in the show as if autistic people are too infantile to understand when people are infantilizing them.
Uh...yeah!
Well, people who have been thru ABA will frequently say that it gave them independence, but it is classified as abuse. It's fairly common for people who are being exploited not to realize that they are being exploited.
I'm autistic and I found the show offensive, not for the music, but for the way that autistic people were treated like a spectacle and made it seem like we are un-datable/un-lovable by the standards of NT people. If I would have seen this show before meeting my fiance, I likely wouldn't have felt "worthy" of dating someone like him.
@12feetupI tried to keep an open mind, as I thought it would be positive representation. It was not.
@@SavageMinnow she’s literally a psychologist, if she says the treatment of the people on the show is fine then I’m gonna trust her over someone who thinks it’s their place to tell others what their experiences are and mean. You’re literally doing the same infantilizing that I just mentioned. This is a reality tv show, not some fucked up torture therapy.
@@LeakyTrees again, I don't think that you can trust the "professional opinion" of an ABA practitioner.
"I'm insulted that you were treated like idiots but don't realize it because you're stupid!" -- someone, probably.
Ahahahahahahaha
This 👆🏻
That's what I thought 😅
In a nutshell.
You said it perfectly haha
Love On The Spectrum, particularly your story, helped me realize that I might be neurodivergent. Here I am a year later and it turns out I'm autistic!
And it's shameful isn't it?
@@williamoarlock8634 he's epic
@@williamoarlock8634 I'm not sure I get what you mean by that. I initially read this as "It's shameful to BE autistic." If that's what you're saying, you should do a little more research about the experiences of autistic people (really anyone who's neurodivergent) and see if you have some less-than-kind views to think about.
If you're saying that the world sees autistic people as shameful, I think it's true that many people do feel that way. But this comment is also unnecessarily pessimistic. It's important to talk about the state of the world and how we can change it for the better, but maybe not in response to someone saying they found out they're autistic. Because the point is that they discovered more about themselves and I think that's a beautiful thing. Discovering that I'm neurodivergent was such a relief because my brain suddenly made sense to me and it allowed me to accept myself more and also to adapt my lifestyle according to my personal strengths and weaknesses.
Anyway, those are just my thoughts on that. Have a nice day :)
@@lailanitukuafu Seeing all these 'neurodivergent' spoiled brats and their 'experiences' thanks to well-off coddling parents or 'special interests' that make them money like the cow-horse hybrid Grandin makes me HATE them and HATE myself more.
Can't be bothered addressing the rest of that self-righteous 'optimist' crap.
Have a unpleasant life.
@@lailanitukuafu 'Experiences' of 'neurodivergent' spoiled brats only makes me feel even worse!
This! I was watching a critique and had to stop. I was literally like... This looks like a fun and fresh representation! I'm NOT on the spectrum but my other 3 family members are and my dad said "are these people embarrassed at the thought of being seen as fun or sweet? I'm funny and sweet so I like this."
Ps actors should be paid and everyone should be allowed to be childish if they want to 😅
That’s one problem I have with it though is they don’t pay them.
It’s ridiculous the amount of people who see representation of those with different/higher needs than them and accuse it of being “insulting” or “infantilizing”. Really shows the same line of thinking as “I’m autistic, but I’m not like THOSE autistic people”
Seriously that was my first thought. It’s kind of how I figured out I had autism was because those with higher needs made more sense to me than other adhd people or completely NT people. I was like oh, I DO have the mix she (my therapist) was speaking of because my patients to me in my mind made more sense and were easier to speak with than neurotypical people to be completely honest 😅.
Just because they have bigger needs doesn’t mean they’re infantile it just means they’re different. My cousin has Down syndrome but…he’s still my age. We’re almost 30 😅. He is a sexually mature adult, with health issues, a job, interests in romance and relationships that are maybe differ than mine in terms of understanding and how he communicates and maybe my growing up with him makes me kind of just like accept that like those with lower functioning are not inhuman. In fact prior to my diagnosis I wasn’t ever fond I the term ‘higher functioning’ person or how most people with ‘mental disabilities’ are treated as many I believe just arnt even really bothered to understand similar to mental illness. My Dad has schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder as it’s called now but regardless it’s really just a different way his brain works and knowing it and seeing it made it less scary. Everyone at school meanwhile thinks my cousin is the damn man from the hills have eyes (also that actor was constantly portrayed that way unfairly 😑 he’s quite nice and intellegent from my brief interaction with him at a car show I believe it was? ), I’m young Sheldon or the fucking good doctor and that my Dad is a fucking serial killer. I kid you not I got bullied so much in school for my poor dad checking himself into an institution because he had a hallucination where he had to pull the car over while he was driving me home from school and he was scared, since I was with him he was concerned because it was just clearly getting out of hand and it was something he couldn’t ignore anymore. He had a successful business in town, he was friendly, meek, handsome, loyal to his wife and family, hardworking, never struck, yelled or emotionally abused us. He in general is a sensitive emotionally intellegent and gentle man. His brain just was telling him things that weren’t true, making him more paranoid, messing with his sleep schedule and affect until it made the symptoms worse, the auditory hallucinations and even occasional olfactory hallucinations (very rare btw I learned that alter in school which I thought was interesting 🤔 ). When he got medicated it also sucked. Hearing it from someone I loved made me hate those movies saying they were a schizo maniac.
Real killers are evil people killing with passion, for money, to manipulate, feel big or because they’re cowards. My Dad was just some 30 year old dude who felt like he was on a bad trip everyday in the worst kind of way.
People are all different. Even ‘normal’ people. I’ve met many with brain tumours and have had literal tantrums for lack of a better description at doctors/dietary/other nurses not giving that patient enough time or not talking to them in a way they can process the information.
It’s why I hate the lack of access to language services because my Spanish sucks balls 😂 and seriously it blocks a lot of healthcare from people.
Anyways. Yeah.
Different people are not infantile, they’re just different!
It’s a spectrum 🌈🙌 I’m just glad to catch a glimpse off their amazing minds.
I'm on the spectrum and I found the show offensive, because it felt like they were making a spectacle of my disability. There were some parts that I liked, but overall, I think a lot of the autistic people criticizing the show are not participants... Because they didn't want to participate.
I thought the most infantilizing parts were not the music, but the things said by the families of the participants. It was like they chose autistic people who were specifically infantilized by their families because it would make good TV.
I am usually the first person to point out that those of us on the spectrum can be child-like without being childish, but this particular show seems to portray all autistic people as being childish, which isn't the case.
I really liked the show, so this video was very reassuring to see. It was very heartwarming to see good things happening for the cast, who all seemed very kind and genuine, and it really shines in contrast with a lot of other reality tv. I can't remember his name right now (I haven't seen the second season yet, so my memory isn't great) but the older gentleman in the last few episodes really reminded me of my grandpa who passed a few years back, so that was very nice as well.
In response to one of the comments, I also want to mention how I actually really liked how they cast quote-on-quote "obviously" autistic people. I don't know if I'm autistic, but I am ADHD as well as being mentally ill and medicated for multiple disorders, and that makes me feel very out of sorts in a lot of social situations, and it can be really exhausting to feel like everyone else is an instinctual expert on things that are really difficult and/or stressful for me. Because of this, it was really comforting to see people be allowed to fall outside of the neurotypical norm, if that makes sense? The question sort of reminds me of respectability politics in a sense, because more visibly autistic people are part of good/accurate, human representation too. The show might not represent the spectrum as a whole, but I don't think any group of a handful of people could do that anyway.
I believe you're thinking of sweet Steve
Steve!!! My favorite person ever!!!! He also reminds me of some older male family members of mine ❤
I LOVED the show. I’m neurodivergent and it was so wholesome and entertaining. It was interesting to see the struggles and strengths of people with different forms of autism. It was a great resource to show my family, who doesn’t fully understand autism and the different levels of it.
There was a show on the BBC last year called 'Inside The Autistic Mind'. That was very well made, and helped me to understand autism better.
My son is on the Spectrum.
Please don’t educate yourself on Autistic culture or the autistic neurotype based on an infantilizing, exploitative show, like “Love on the Spectrum.” Please also don’t use ABA practitioners, like Kaelynn as a resource, either. No self-respecting Autistic person harms other Autistic people for a living and narcissistically brags how everyone tells her she’s the best at it.
Yes! While watching critiques over these last few days I kept wondering: “…Has anyone actually asked the cast how they felt?” Assuming someone felt infantilized without asking if they felt infantilized is…very infantilizing
Thank you for saying this. I think a lot of people might be saying that “the show infantilized the cast” because they personally perceive the cast in a certain way, and they want to be able to blame the show for that perception that they have.
Boom. This right here. It's their own perception of Autism.
Damn, that's real.
I've not seen the show, but I can see two factors here: one is that we often aren't great at picking up subtext, so the cast could well have thought things went well but missed problematic aspects of how they were portrayed in the show.
On the other hand, we don't think like neurotypicals, so the assumption that the cast would necessarily be offended by certain things if they caught the subtext might not always be accurate.
Missed seeing you on the new season of "Love On The Spectrum", Kaelynn!
With the rest of the toddlers.
@@williamoarlock8634 I have no idea what you're talking about, as there's no toddlers on the show- only legal adults!
@@williamoarlock8634that seems a little demeaning for those on the show. The goal is to support all on the spectrum, not just ones that fit your criteria
@@cbjueueiwyru7472 I don't have any 'criteria'. I only know I hate being autistic and hate other 'neurodiverse'.
@@BigAlvideos101 They all *look* like oversized toddlers.
This is exactly how I felt about it. I feel like people criticize because tearing things down is much easier and gains more traction than building things up. Standing for nothing but perfection is safer than standing for anything else.
It's infuriating.
You are so eloquent and I love hearing your logical reasoning and perspective 👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you so much!! 😊
@@Kaelynnism Having your infant ego stroked is what you're on here for.
@williamoarlock8634 What are you in the comments section for, then?
@@williamoarlock8634projection
I have only recently watched the show and I absolutely loved it. It was the most wholesome thing ever and it never seemed "infantilising" at all. Perhaps some people need more understanding/exposure to neurodiversity before making comments. Or as you say to actually ask you about your experience. I’m glad you had a good experience on the show, and I loved following your story. ❤
Perhaps you need more “exposure to neurodiversity” if you think an ABA practitioner, like Kaelynn, has even a basic understanding of the subject.
I watched it with my friend last Summer and thought it was so sweet!
@@GhostIntoTheFogshe's autistic so her opinion is valid. ABA is not a harmful practice in itself, although I agree that it used to be when the point was to make people "normal" by NT standards. Things have changed through the decades, now it's mostly about analyzing behaviour as a mean of communication, find the need that it expresses, respond to the need before unease shows, so it's about respecting autistic functioning. I hope you did not go through the kind of practices I talked about earlier and i'm sorry if you did.
I do miss you on the 2nd season! But im glad i can still keep up with you on social media platforms
As an autistic person I loved how I could relate to the different people who all have different traits and different aspects of the spectrum. I watched it together with my mom and it broadened her understanding of the things me and a lot of autistic people have
I LOVED the show! My son (21) was diagnosed at 8 yrs. My daughter (24) only received diagnosis this week. Both so different. I think the show gives both families some hope and strategies - and provides those who dont know people on the spectrum a powerful insight.
We actually have incorporated it into our year 12 English course at my school - used to teach both television documentary and attitudes and values.
That’s a great idea!! I recently began working with kids & considering a career in education, I’ll def keep this show in the back of my mind for whenever the time arises.
Congrats to your daughter by the way! My diagnosis was also at 23-24 so I know how hard it can be to go undiagnosed. Much love to u & ur family!
I am a father of twins, who are almost 9 years old. A boy and girl.
My boy is autistic, has limited speech, etc (the most similar ASD person to my lad was Ken Bruce's son on the BBC documentary). He was diagnosed just before his 4th birthday.
My girl has been referred for an assessment, as she is showing signs of struggling in social settings. If she does get diagnosed, she is on a very different level to my son.
I've never watched the show, though I've been curious about it for a while, admittedly because of the critiques of infantilization and reality TV shenanigans. But I respect your point; it's ironic that many who strike down the show as "childish" seemed to speak over/project their feelings onto the cast members and yourself. Of course, people have a right to be reticent of reality television's potential portrayals of ND--particularly if most of those comments came from other autistic/ND ppl. But it's important to seek out the opinions of those with the actual lived experience, especially wrt neurodiversity.
I also want to raise the point that many could be unwittingly could be projecting their own internalized (or otherwise) ableism when concluding that the show is "childish". I include myself in this. A lot of ND ppl i feel wish to distance themselves from anything or anyone regarded as "cringe" or "immature." So, seeing ppl acting in ways they think are cringe, childish, etc. feels alarming and maybe reminds them of why they might mask. I know i have such knee-jerk reactions at times before i have to ask myself why i'm feeling that way. So it's maybe easier to project than reflect.
This is such a great nuanced comment. I definitely agree that as a human it’s easier to project than reflect.
Thanks for sharing. Have a good day! :D
I think most people critiquing the show for infantilization are talking about the neurotypicals who edited the show in a way that is reminiscent of how they bully us or treat us like children. Not the people who were on the show. you only hear about the latter because the internet likes to boost the most controversial takes (drives more interactions).
There seem to be quite a lot of low support needs/super high masking folk out there who get upset and lash out every time that a depiction of autism that isnt their exact experience exists. You see them all the time on reddit complaining that "theres no excuse for [insert pretty typical autistic behavior here], I'M autistic and I don't do that".
They complain incessantly about the sheldons and abeds, the arnies and rain men, while completely ignoring the basic undeniable facts that not only are there are tons of people exactly like these characters out in the real world, there are actually quite a few other depictions of autism out there, and always have been. They are often simply ignored and/or unnoticed, because they are low support needs, high masking, and just like in the real world, often undiagnosed.
"BOOM ROASTED" - Michael Scott
I literally came here to type just that. Thank you kindred spirit. I don't know who you are, but I love you. 😅
I had no idea you were on the show. I have yet to watch the US version, but liked the Australian one.
She's in season 1.
@@imagomonkei And there's different countries that make the same show. I'm most familiar with the british version (The one with the famous line of "Well it seems we've both got autism haven't we") and had no idea she'd been on the show.... I'm about to see how I can find the show to watch it now
woops it's only netflix...
I found your channel by chance via your advocacy focused shorts. I only found out weeks later that you were on the show, so I decided to check it out. I've never been into reality TV in general, dating shows even less so. It's been one of the most joyful and uplifting experiences I've ever had with a TV show. It's provided me with a much better understanding of the experiences of people with autism as someone with little exposure to it. I also found it to be a surprisingly tasteful portrayal of everyone on the show as it avoided the trope other reality shows I've been exposed to fall into of absolutely milking those moments of people at their lowest, dramatizing every situation.
I watched the Australian series and loved it. I loved that the cast were able to take a break from filming when they needed it
Love on the Spectrum is one of my safe go-to shows, I have watched it, probably a good 50 times over by now. It's really great to see people like me developing their relationship and communication skills.
I want to go on the show too but I'm already married XD
I am happy to see you didn't have a negative experience. I watched the first and second season and enjoyed it. I don't really watch reality type shows. But tuned in cause I was curious to see a community of people who don't get represented often. No show or program is going to encompass or get ever nuance of an entire community. In the end this show is a reminder that people want to find love and connection.
Love what you said at 0:26! Worked for many years with students in high schools with varying levels of Autism and distinctly remember the whole SIA movie issue where there was uproar from people. Thought I’d ask my class how they felt and it was a great discussion. Most agreed they didn’t care and were fine with the representation. Had a student teacher there who was horrified at how little they cared overall and had to remind her that our students had autonomy and the right to their own opinions same as she did. She didn’t have to like the movie and they didn’t have to dislike it. Glad you enjoyed your time on the show!
My partner and I (both adults on the spectrum as well) watched the dating show together and had such a nice time tbh. We felt so strongly for all the people on the show and were really rooting for everyone to find happiness in their own ways. It helped us reflect on our own relationship as well, and we had so many nice moments together talking about it. That's why I was so confused & disappointed to hear the critiques that it was infantilizing to the castmembers - it just didn't feel like that critique matched up to our takeaways from the show, but of course, you can never know from the audience what exactly happened behind the scenes. Hearing YOUR take on the matter is really reassuring. Especially the point about how many of those critical voices are actively performing the infantilization they're complaining about by speaking over the castmembers! Best wishes to you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
Thank you for saying this! The whole point of the show is to demonstrate just how similar we autistic people are to neurotypical people, and how we face unique challenges to find love. I thought the show was done with a great deal of positivity and humour, and if more people watched it, there might be more compassion for people on the spectrum. ❤❤❤
The show was not produced or edited by Autistic people and was clearly formatted in an infantilizing way. Imagine for one second if, instead of Autistic people, the show focused on Black people or gay people and used the same format. Would you be as comfortable watching? If not, that should tell you something.
Additionally, inviting an ABA practitioner like Kaelynn to be a cast member is proof enough of the show’s negative impact. The fame she’s gained from being on the show has normalized an abusive and cruel industry that Kaelynn makes excuses for.
@@GhostIntoTheFog Thank you for the super duper comment. Have a wonderful day.
In my opinion, there's more to it than how the participants experienced it. It's also about how it portrays things to the audience. If the portrayal comes across as infantilizing to the audience, it can influence how people view autism and how they act towards people on the spectrum in their own lives. That's completely separate from how the participants experienced it.
To be clear, I have not seen the show, so I do not have an opinion on how well they did or didn't do things. My only opinion is that the participant experience isn't all that matters.
I agree with both her point and yours - without an audience, it wouldn’t be a show, just lived experience. The way we talk about and portray things matters a lot.
editing can also make a story very different then the lived experience
0:45 the comment you showed here was interesting.
‘They also chose more “obvious” autistic individuals. They infantilize them on purpose because the average person still carries that stereotype.’
I would’ve thought it’d be the assumption that they’re going to cast more obviously autistic people instead of ones that blend in well. I wouldn’t expect to see someone who masks well on the show, because that sort of defeats the whole point.
@joelleweetjewel9948 I just assumed the point of the show is showing how more obviously autistic people navigate dating. I haven’t seen the show, so I don’t know the severity of the autism of any of the participants (except the lady in this video, although even that isn’t fair to judge through 60 second videos).
Edit: for clarity, I do now realize that assumption was incorrect.
My wife and I loved everyone on the show. We were cheering for each and every person and truly wanted each to find love. I think the show showed you well for the ways you are different but most importantly the ways you are the same as anyone else. The nerves and the awkwardness, hey, non-autistic people experience all that, too! Show me a neuro-typical person and I'll show you someone who had bad and awkward dates. That's just the nature of it. Anyhow, from my wife and I, we both thought you were fantastic and wish you the very best of luck in finding someone special in your life. They are out there. 100%
Thank you for weighing in on this (you're amazing): I am one of the people who have made some review videos and I try to be as fair as possible as I don't directly know the participants. I don't necessarily feel that the cast was infantilized but some of the music and introductions did sound like they were coming from a children's show. All that said, I think you are correct, we should be asking cast members directly how they feel about the show/treatment of asd people on the show. I should have reached out for comment, so for that I am sorry. My other question for you is, is it true that you were not paid for your time on the show because it is considered a documentary (so they would only cover expenses). If so, how do you feel about that and should they pay cast members moving forward? Thank you, Claire
Thank you for sharing this! I really enjoy watching the show because it makes me feel represented and seen, so I love hearing that you and other cast members had good experiences!
Thank you for making this! I watched Love on the Spectrum when I first got my autism diagnosis and it made me feel much less alone in my struggles with romance
I am glad that you feel like the show represented you well. I agree people should consider how the participants themselves feel about their experience as well. However as an autistic person myself, I find it hard to enjoy the show for the reasons mentioned at the beginning. I haven’t watched you on it but just have found you from social media. I am glad you really like and support the team behind the show. I personally just can not watch the show because of the vibes that at least I perceive as being infantilizing, etc. Key phrase being “I perceive”. We can all have different options of things sometimes
Just as a heads up, Kaelynn practices ABA for a living. She’s a terrible person who betrayed our community for a paycheck and has convinced herself she can reform an inherently abusive industry (spoiler: she can’t). She also partners with other toxic and infantilizing organizations, like the charity Best Buddies, which treats Autistic employment itself like an act of charity and Autistic adults like children.
i haven’t watched love on the spectrum for a HOT MINUTE so I wasn’t aware you were on the show!! I should get back to watching it 😅
Yep! Season 1 -starts in episode two 😊
Season 1 of the US/Netflix version, that is
Does any reality dating show have "dignified representation" of anything or anyone? As far as dating shows go, Love on the Spectrum is pretty tame and kind. It didn't bother me at all and the music and intro bits reminded me of Great British Bake Off.
I'm pretty sure you can take most of these criticisms and apply them to any dating show and they would still ring true.
Omg! I commented the same thing about GBBO!
@@goose2888 I LOVE GBBO!
The music also reminds me of that UK Blind Date show where everyone goes to the same restaurant.
3rd repost attempt (edited also!): I just want to say the show was fantastic. I have recently become quite the cynic about this world currently and the show really reminded me that there still are some kind hearted, decent people out there. I felt the majority of the show and cast were very sincere. Kaelynn is incredible. My hope for humanity has been restored! (if only a little) :)
by the way one of my two best friends in the world is high functioning autistic and I completely agree that the show can't possibly show the complete gambit of all types of autism and I don't think it should have to or needs to. To me it felt like a genuine slice of life of a handful of incredible people and that is wonderful and all it needed to be.
I completely agree :')
I love the show. I just finished season two. Cian seems like a great guy and I love how he interacts with everyone on the show.
I agree, if you want to know how the participants felt, ask them! I’m so sick of people being “advocates” when they really have no understanding of issues but just want to make themselves feel superior. Personally, I think the show did a great job of showing how autism is so very different in each individual. Im guessing many people who have been undiagnosed may just recognize themselves. People have a very narrow view of what autism is, and we definitely need to widen that in order to better understand and help people on the spectrum. I also found the show to be so relatable when it comes to dating- it’s awkward for everyone!!
I had this exact conversation the other day.
Someone was saying it was created as entertainment so people could laugh at the cast members.
They did not know I had autism but my response was that it showed people with autism in a positive light and that more programs like this would be helpful to start to "normalise" autism in society.
Some people may point and laugh but that is their issues they need to deal with.
Thank you so much for talking about this. As an adult seeking diagnosis, nothing has pushed me further away from the "community" than people with privilege speaking over those without. They're doing the exact ableist thing they blame allistic people for. But unlike HFA, those with high support needs don't have the same level of power. HFA think they're speaking up for others, but they're really just speaking over them.
You are the only autistic "influencer" I've seen handle this conversation with tact and without the narcissism currently plaguing our culture. I wish you all the best.
Worded amazingly!
Well, I, for one, was diagnosed HFA, and I have issues with the show, because I feel it does a bad job at representing the diversity of the autistic spectrum. The show (I'm mainly referring to the second season) has a huge focus on “unusual behaviour”, and it feels as if participants were cast accordingly. Now, like it or not, this is how I felt while watching a show that I otherwise enjoyed. You make it sound as if HFA and Asperger people (all outdated categorizations, but still usable for sketchy illustration purposes) had a lot of power, actually supporting the common view that we're not really disabled in our lives, and that we spend our days bitching about privileges we allegedly don't have. Accept that people are possibly not as you think they are, and that critique may be legitimate, even when you (and Kælynn) don't feel the same way.
@@Headsign The irony of you being unable see your own privilege in this context, when we're speaking about people who are literally unable to talk coherently... is unfathomable.
Congratulations on proving my point 👏
The only person exposing a privilege is you, since you obviously believe that only autistic people with strong support needs are disabled and underprivileged. I have no idea about your background, just as little as you have about mine, but it's actually you who proved my point. In the future, better speak about experiences you actually share.@@remylebae3395
@@Headsign amazingly unkind to describe very very typical traits of autism as unusual behaviors and blame it on the producers. All you're doing is putting down the very real autistic people from that show. As a moderate support needs autistic (also diagnosed), I am also confused because both Steve and Journey seem reasonably high masking to me. Just look how uncomfortable Steve was with Sharona touching him and how he didn't feel able to say it. That was such a resonant image of high masking autism
But I guess it was too much to have level 2 and 3 representation too 🥴 /sarcasm
I really enjoy the show and I'm very grateful for stumbling onto your social media today and finding all the awesome resources you provide.
I love this programme i have a 15 yesr old autistic son and it gave me hope he will fined a companion one day xx
I've only watched a bit of the Australian version, and I can't put my finger on it but there's something that bugs me. It might just be that I have lived 55 years highly masking (at least from myself 🤣) and only known I'm on the spectrum for the last two. There's still so much excavating to do to rework my foundation.
The show was one of the most beautiful series I’ve watched recently. Autism is a beautiful manifestation of diversity and such critiques come from ignorance and prejudice. ❤❤❤
I’ve watched the U.S. series, I found several of the cast members were so helpful for me to learn more about Autism. I’m 2 years into a diagnosis made at age 48. You have been the one I learn from the most. I will be willing to bet you anything all the people still making those comments aren’t Autistic nor do they know anyone autistic
Kaelynn, I never have seen the show. But you have taught me much more than I ever knew I didn't understand. Outside seeing a few aspects of your behavior as "quirky" I don't think I would have ever known you as anything but "A sweet woman with a few personality quirks, but name me one person I will know who doesn't have a quirk or two" I used to hear the word "autism" an it had serious negative imagery in my head. Thanks to these past few months of your perspective, and your explaining things... Answering questions I didn't know to ask, or if I did know, that I wouldn't ask out of discomfort with asking awkward questions, my understanding has grown.
I think you all did a fantastic job of making people aware. I hope each and ever one of you find the happiness you deserve!
I think YOU are awesome. You bring so much awareness. You share reality. Your tips and tricks are so helpful! Keep it up ❤
Wow !
Just keep being you. You give such hope, and do so with such clarity and savior faire. I am humbled and grateful for your, and others like you, helping us. Most of your videos, I think are aimed directly at me! I feel this exact way, etc. I know this is not aimed at me, just I can relate now. Thanks to you, and sadly just a few others.
We need more people like you. So keep on being you, and thank you ALL truly.
I dont really care about the show but I do think it would be nice if they paid the cast members :,) even if they didnt think it was needed
Yeah, I think being paid would’ve been good. That said, we all went into it knowing it wasn’t paid
@@Kaelynnism I know I know, I don’t think the lack of pay was awful but I do think it should be standard to pay anyone in these shows if the company behind it can
Is the show like a non-profit kind of thing?@@Kaelynnism
@@Kaelynnismwow I didn’t know that. If only people making this ruckus & speaking over cast members would put their energy into advocacy for fair payment for autistics…
I found you through the show btw & it’s been a world of difference to me! I never knew I was (clearly) AuDHD because of how little knowledge the common public has on what being autistic is like. I think your casting was… probably the first time I’ve ever seen someone ACTUALLY autistic in media just… live life. Media portrayals are so stereotypical and have a very strict narrative for what “autism looks like”
I also am following your professional work with kids! I’ve been considering it myself, I find that I understand the “troublemaker” type kids because… they just have some neurodivergence like me :)
Alright, my adhd is reaaal strong right now, so I’ll end my thought here. Thanks for all your work! :D
I watched the series two days ago and I found it very insightful. Learning each person's autism is different. Knowing that the firefighter left you in a middle of a date was heartbreaking and really goes to show, how little people understand autism. I found myself repeatedly saying the production crew spoke to each of you very respectfully and carried out this series with great care. I was rooting for each person on there to find love. I think this series has helped inform people who are willing to learn and see the reality. Instead of making their own opinions and assumptions. I went into this series with a complete open mind and open heart. If all people do this while watching. They will come away with some personal growth of their own.❤❤
Thanks for your perspective! What about them not paying the participants?
She said in another comment that it would have been nice, but they all went into it knowing it wasn’t paid.
I absolutely love the show. It was wonderful to see so many people get out of your comfort zones and grow. And to see some people find successful relationships and be so happy❤️❤️❤️ because everyone deserves happiness!!!
Kaelynn please keep my daughter Joelle Therese in your prayers who is 6 yr old girl with autism
All of the cast of this show brought tears of JOY to my eyes
From the bottom of my heart may you and your loved ones be blessed in the name of Jesus
Mark Maynerich
Springfield, IL
Thank you so much for this clarity! I was much much more interested in finding out more about what all of the REAL people on the show felt about this odd debate anyways!!! ❤ 🙌☺️ so awesome, thank you for sharing this!
🙏😊
Someone can be treated poorly, even if they dont agree they were treated poorly. Saying you didnt mind doesnt mean others cant criticize the treatment.
I'm bummed you're not on the second season. You were the only person I related to on the first season. You previously said something that resonated with me about being in limbo where you don't fit in with neurotypicals but also don't fit in with other autistic people. I was happy to see that representation on the show.
Maybe you can become an ABA practitioner, like Kaelynn, if you admire her so much.
Loved this show watching season 2 now. Kaelynn you’re the best 💚💜
There are valid critiques, but people got so much help from being on that show, and i got soooo much help from watching it!!
So glad to see this. If anything I thought there was a lot of unspoken nuance - my husband watched it first and I was suspicious honestly but I watched it and got extremely invested!! Haven't seen you in it yet - I've only watched S2!
Love on the Spectrum is quite possibly the sweetest and greatest show I've ever seen. I really don't care for reality TV, but I love this one. Thanks for what you do! 😃
I was wondering about how this show was portrayed! I had heard some good things and my sister said me and her should watch it so i would love to now hearing your perspective and knowing you were on the show! Ill have to check it out 💗💗
I dunno, it was more a critique on reality TV practices and gimmicks (like calling this a documentary series and not reality TV, for example). When exploiting a specific group of people that is often portrayed poorly in media to begin with in order to pitch their show, the “gross” comes in to even sharper focus. Even if the cast enjoyed doing it (they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t since they’re not even paid from what I understand), trying to watch it gave me the creepy crawlies, and so the critique is to better understand why it did that, not be a social justice crusader for the cast.
This is a great response. It made me angry that some people said they shouldn’t have cast people who were “too obviously” autistic. It’s clear that they just want neurotypical people who are a bit quirky because that is what TikTok has convinced them autism is.
The only time they undoubtedly do, is when they say people's likes/dislikes. Even people not on the spectrum: she like grass, she dislikes loud noises.
Why is this infantilizing? Genuine question
I'm autistic and I thought it was great. I wish I could introduce myself to people that way
That show made me think about autistic people in a way I never had before. It definitely opened my eyes.
Thank you for your perspective. I did think it was infantlizing and have wondered how the autistic community feels about it. Your perspective matters the most, so I defer to you. Am nt.
I believe since you are closer to the cast and crew of the show than any of us you might have a different opinion. As a watcher who didn't know you or these people before, I surely grew fond of the cast and their experiences but I'm definitely not fond of the editing and the choices made for the music and other narrative choices. The australian edition didn't bothered me much actually, but the american one had so much narration and silly music , with editing to make awkward silences awkarder(?) it really felt like I was watching a documentary about the secret life of a 4 years old, and that makes me sad. Not for you or the cast in any way, you were all fantastic, it's just the way it was handled, the community(myself included) felt very annoyed since infantilization is a topic of discussion for us, but it's very good to see a media that portrays autistic people as people who have common urges and demands like sex, gender, sexual identity and being in a stable relationship. The show has its pros and cons. Some people might find a positive experience, some other might propagate more stereotypes about us. Unfortunately(or not) these things are never black or white.
THANK YOU. I love the show, and part of why I love it is because it focuses on the positive sides of autism, autistic joy, autistic love, supportive families (even though I don't love certain people's mothers 👀 (not you Kaelynn)) and it's such a breath of fresh air when I'm so used to seeing media that portrays autistic people as this huge burden, and when I'm used to my autism making me feel difficult to be around
I so agree!
And, yet, Kaelynn chose to practice ABA for a living (an inherently abusive pseudoscientific industry that is built on a negative and pathologizing view of autistic traits). Kaelynn is a complicit hypocrite.
@GhostIntoTheFog uhh what? I've followed her for a while and I've heard her speak out against ABA and I've never heard her say that's her job
@marleymasterson8995 How closely do you follow her? One of her featured UA-cam videos is her giving a lecture on planned ignoring (an ABA technique). She also wrote multiple pieces about being an ABA practitioner for the website The Art of Autism (and even says in one that she considers herself the best RBT on Earth). You can also look her credentials up on the website of the organization that certifies ABA practitioners (the BACB). Although she’s been downplaying it recently (as she knows how hostile the majority of the Autistic community is to ABA), she’s been practicing it for almost a decade.
@@GhostIntoTheFog wow that's really disappointing
I loved the show! It gives me hope that I'll find someone who will love me for who I am ❤
Thank you for speaking sense from your *actual experience* on the programme
Watching the show gives me hope ❤❤❤
AuDHDer here. I didn't watch the show at first because after reading the description I thought "this feels exploitive". Then my roomate and his gf watched it and ITS SO F'N WHOLESOME 😍 the people are so sweet and honestly makes me feel like trying dating again and looking for someone who also has level 1 autism.
Yes, very wholesome that one of the show’s stars (Kaelynn) does ABA for a living. Next, we should have a dating show that follows members of the gay community who are employed as gay conversion therapists.
@@GhostIntoTheFogI suggest you watch her video on planned ignoring so you can see how she works and actually applies the right principles of the method, and not some half-assed summary on some vulgarisation website. Her way of doing is actually very in phase with autistic functioning and doesn't have a lot to do with converting people into neurotypicals. Precisely she does interventions to stop these bad practices by explaininc people who are poorly trained how it's supposed to be done to be respectful
I didn't know that people were making such negative comments about the show. Well, my mom and I have watched both seasons, and we enjoyed it very much! As a person with Autism, I'm happy that this show exists! My sister and I grew up in the 80s and 90s, and we didn't have anything like this! Even in the 2000s and 2010s, we didn't have anything like this! Thanks for your honesty, Kaelynn. Hope you find love!
Some people on the show enjoying their time there doesn't in any sense address, debunk, or excuse the alleged issues with the show's music, editing, framing, lack of pay, etc.
The argument isn't that the cast didn't have a good time. One can very much make critiques despite that. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
I LOVED this show SO much!! I wondered if some of it was scripted tho?? I loved seeing and learning about all the diverse people and just listening to you guys talk and share your points of view. I watched both the US seasons and the Australian seasons too. I am also on the spectrum of neurodivergence. I wish they would continue the show with a reality show of everyone's lives. James and his parents would make for great fun to watch. Connor and his family were wonderful. Dani is such a wonderful person and character. And I wish you had come back to season 2 !! I really love everyone on the show so much and would love to see more of you all!
and Tanner!! He really does spread joy. Kelvin and Subodh were terrific and such loving, sweet people. Steve was such a cool, amazing, optimistic, and positive sweet guy! Abbey is the cutest and I love her relationship with David. I could definitely "feel the love tonight" and I LOVE The Lion King as well!! And Journey was so sweet and fun and I feel like she is going to one day find what she is looking for
It was a great show! We loved it. We suspect that we may be on the spectrum ourselves. We missed you on season 2. I'm so glad that you have a UA-cam channel so we can still follow you.
No show can do everything but i'm so glad it did right by you all!!
Ich habe mir die Serie sehr gerne angeschaut! Und freue mich dass du dich dazu äußerst ♥️
Schön dich hier auf UA-cam gefunden zu haben ✌🏻
Liebe Grüße aus Germany 🌸
Wonderful answer!! 👏🏼 I loved watching you on the show! ❤
Didn’t realize you were on the show! Definitely going to check out your episodes
I enjoyed the show and understanding the struggles that people with autism face while trying to find love. You are a wonderful woman that will no doubt, find love.
how people that participated in the show were treated and how the show is edited for the broader audience are two separate issues
Do you think she hasn't watched it and isn't capable of voicing critique on the editing if she had any? Again, you're proving her point by speaking over the cast members who are very happy with the entire finished product
@@thesingingtown
1) she can voice a criticism of the editing or not, and so can anyone
2) this doesn't prove any point
3) criticizing editing choices is not "speaking over"
4) not only people that participate in a show can criticize it
5) you didn't even address the point, which is: how participants were treated and the editing choices as displayed for the broader audience are two separate issues
One of my favourite shows, its a great portrayal and positive representation for sure.
It also gave opportunities to the cast to have their OWN platform if they so wished, the way you help so many of us every day with yours! I’m considered low support needs, and my ADHD masks a lot of my symptoms since I was late diagnosed, and seeing myself in someone who speaks like me, thinks like me, and has so many good tips? You’re the role model I needed at 14, and I found you at 21 because of Love on the Spectrum.
All my family members went over my head thinking they will protect me by providing their words. Today I have a harder time talking about what makes sense to them. I am single because I don't know how to talk with the opposite sex.
The show makes me uncomfortable as an autistic person so I don’t watch it, but I think you make a great point about trying to speak over the experiences of the people involved. Representation looks different to lots of people and we can talk about it but we should be mindful and not accusatory.
Just finished watching the show with my girlfriend and have to say it was amazing to get an insight into all the different "levels" of autism. Before watching this I had a somewhat of an idea of what autism was, but I put it all in the same box, which is dead wrong - but that's why the show is so great because I actually learned something. I hope everything is going great with you and the other cast members, and if you ever need any help with anything graphic design related please do reach out to be, I would love to help spread the word in any way that I can.
I love the show it makes my heart happy
The show makes me feel the way I imagine it would feel to catch a wave of wind as a bird flying freely
I’m neurotypical and I loved the show. It challenged a lot of assumptions I had about autism and I learned SO much. I know the show isn’t necessarily FOR me but I definitely walked away from it more informed about the diversity of the autism spectrum. Neurodiversity aside, it was a refreshing departure from the typical dating show because the cast truly wanted to find love and weren’t cynically trying to get on TV. I think that despite its flaws, Love on the Spectrum is a net positive and a great source of education for neurotypical people.
Seeing you on the show is what led me to getting an assessment and now have a diagnosis. So, thank you!
ooh I might have to watch this then. It's been on my radar, but I haven't looked into it much. For context, I'm one of those people who likely have a parent on the spectrum and potentially myself but no formal diagnosis. Got my dad a pack of fidget toys for Christmas one year and later my mom texted me like, "Where did you find these???? He won't put them down????" We're also Falling Deep Into Pet Care Rabbit Hole buddies. He's got several fish tanks and I'm a guinea pig mom.
I wish u all got paid for ur work and time.
I really appreciated your point about your voice. Also, my first thought: I have not heard one person in my entire life use the word infantilizing. What creeps me out is that most of those comments are likely just copycat echo chamber alleged opinions. Social media comments can often be so pedestrian and predictable. Think for yourself, people. It's free. 👊🏻👏🏻🤓
I am so thrilled to hear this from you, a cast member, as if feel I've learned *so* very much from the show. It appears to be respectful, informational and Cian a supportive and positive interviewer. 🧠🌈 thank you for addressing this issue
Right on Kaelynn!!! Well said!!! As an adult with Autism, I feel like Love on The Spectrum is fantastic. It shows the Autism challenges of trying to connect with other people very well. People...we don't need allies...we need co-conspirators! Let us speak for ourselves and then support us when we do! ❤