Anxiety, Escapism, and Gaming Habits
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- The Game Professor is having a hard time. Everyone is having a hard time. Everything is scary and even video games aren't always enough to feel okay about it. So here's some kind of video thing about it.
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That effort wall between you and "things you want to do and somehow can't" may be part of ADHD. Which is of course only made worse by reality being wholely chaos
I can relate to this heavily. For months my back log has just grown and no matter how many life changes that I want to happen happen, I always feel like I’m stuck. The only thing that really helps is watching Gurren Lagann and just trying things sometimes. Even if I don’t get far in my backlog, just chipping away at one game at a time adds up
This literary made cry, hit too close to home. Good job
One thing that I have seen recently, at least with regards to my own mental wellbeing, is that the handful of tips I found for helping my own state of mind before the quarantine still apply.
A frankly embarrassing fraction of my mood on any given day is governed by how much sleep I've had (both the last night and over the past couple of weeks) and how well I've stayed hydrated.
Obviously there are all kind of long term stresses to deal with at the moment, but I do think it's important not to forget the basics, even if they happen to be different basics for each person.
So i think a lot of people here myself included had or are having this problem or any kind of variation, here is a couple of info and tips that help me:
-Sun! Like go out out the window and take 5 minutes of sun, there are chemicals that activate motivation for evolution purposes.
-basic health always help a lot, exercise and hydratation and good eating are a exelent way to get better, just carrying a water bottle is good enough
-jack off, a lot
-something that helps me when im feeling lonely and calls or text dont help is to listen to randoms on vrChat (did you know it can be played without vr?) Its nice to listen to strangers and kick in that akward feeling of meeting new people
- speaking of new learn stuff, I kind of programed the algorithm of youtube to throw me random things and it helps to kick the mind into thinking and not getting stale
- move. The body feels better and is naturaly rewarded when you just move, yoga exercise dance are the common go to, but strech even a little, be aware of your body, take your shoes off and feel the floor, meditate if you can (i 'll link an alan watts video in a comment that taught me how to, best 14 minutes of my life. Gp gray has an amazing video to organize a routine even in close environment
- for holy gabel's sake put the phone away, turn it off as much as possible, only produces anxiety
- picking up old hobbyes or learning something new is fine but have you ever slept regularly? Helps with the feeling of time repeating, apps that reduce blue light in computers like f lux or twilight for phones help with destressing the mind, if you have a window let the sun wake you up or just tell your body, write down dreams to inform to the brain that is important even if you don't have dreams lately(write down you didnt have any. Sounds silly but trust me, random citizen)
-for video games if you play life games lige league of legends, apex, destiny and the likes, and you feel like you cannot stop or else you are missing out, just be aware of that feeling, give it a good thought
-feel free to put any other things that helps, both links will be in a comment below, if i misspelled anything im typing from an atari controller (nah im from Argentina)
allan watts almost meditation guide: ua-cam.com/video/tSJURyXh7yE/v-deo.html
GP grey on close space organization: ua-cam.com/video/snAhsXyO3Ck/v-deo.html
Love to everyone
This made me feel less alone in what I’m feeling. I don’t play many games, but lately I found myself rewatching Great British Bake Off instead of shows or movies I want to try for the first time. I relate to the feeling of wanting to be creative but being stuck
Hey try small things. The first step is the hardest. Try watching motivational videos eg on procrastination. Write down what u want. Writing has spiritual force of drawing it closer to you. Then write a monthly/ weekly to do list. Prioritize it. And discipline ur self with rewards that you cant give ur self or do something until the task is complete.
Trust me ull move one step closer to ur goal and living in reality. God bless
Sounds a lot like impending burnout, my friend. Be careful pushing through that wall because you may not be able to come back from it for a long, long time.
Really appreciate your vulnerability here. You articulately voice so much of what I’ve felt before. Wish there was were easy answers - but at bare minimum, appreciate you opening up and talking about this kinda stuff. It’s a weird time right now, and it’s okay to go easier on your self. Hang in there!
Feels like cosmic coincidence that I find this video after I've played a short visual novel called Moe Era, it's a simple romance anime visual novel that really opened my eyes to certain personal flaws I have about myself because of certain deep topics discussed that I never expected from it.
A character in it talked about both loving and hating time, because she enjoyed spending her time doing the things she enjoy, but realising all things have to end eventually. "I love spending time, but time will never love me back." it's a quote which still sticks to me as I write this comment.
I am addicted to the internet/computer/video games. I am closing now on 1 full year after finishing high school, I have done nothing valuable to me in that whole year. I wake up every day to sit at the computer in my room, until late at night, then go to sleep and repeat. This is not life, this is what living death feels like. Even when I was still in school 99% of my free time for the past 7 years or so was like that. I attribute many of my faults as a person (zero motivation and willpower, anger, no patience) to this addiction that I've come to see as what it really is in the past 3 years. This is why I really don't like the glorification and obsession of what I perceive to be the majority of people surrounding the use of digital media as a means of "escapism". escaping life is not possible nor healthy to try in my opinion, it has only hurt me in the long run. dealing with life and dealing with your mental health in a constructive way, is healthy. ignoring "life" for a couple of hours will only make it more difficult when you return. instead of escapism, let's try REAL REST, instead of running away from a problem and from challenging ourselves, maybe we should try to use that time to strengthen ourselves as people, learn, acquire skills, achieve goals, work through our mental dimension instead of ignoring it, work on actually making ourselves more mentally healthy, because escapism doesn't do that at all. shutting off until a later point in time doesn't grant us the tools to survive and thrive in the future, using the time we have to treat our bodies and minds right, to work with them, will prepare us for what is to come. the world is not getting worse. we are getting worse by choosing comfort over the harder path of doing what's good for ourselves, of working it out instead of running away from our problems. escapism, passivity, is the easy path, the easy path to a worse life. These are my thoughts and opinions. Be strong, and a good life to you.
Major Depression is a bitch man.
God I remember when I was like this! The main thing that helped me was going out to events filled with people who shared a mutual interest, I made so many new friends that way, I had reasons to get up in the morning because every 2 weeks or so I got to hang out with a big group of lovely people.
I recommend you take this advice on board, but I understand that you can't act on it right now because of corona. God 2020 is such a write off year!
@@GameGod77 Yea, I could use some more reasons to motivate me.
Update: I am still addicted but have joined a volunteering program 40 hours a week in a special education school, Life is better.
For those who are at home in front of the screens and want to change, I encourage you to volunteer / do something good / find satisfying work, even just temporarily. Go out there and do nice things.
I feel you buddy.
I don't think it's surprising that you've returned to the games you have returned to. Sure, some games can be used to turn off your brain completely (and One Finger Death Punch IS excellent at that), but the return to titles like Beyond Good and Evil, or Prince of Persia seems to me analogous to picking up a favorite book, or watching a TV show for the 1000th time. It's safe, it's familiar, and you know exactly what would happen when. In times like these, that can be valuable. So long as you know that that's what you're doing, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I also don't believe the fact that you finished Fire Watch is a coincidence either, I've played it, and I loved it, but it does have a very distinctive flavor. The best I can describe it, Fire Watch seems to me like a Scooby-Doo game, first of all, it's short, it's a mystery game, and can occasionally be a bit spooky, but it's never really out to scare you. And not to spoil anything but the ending is... well, you know, you've played it. It's an easy game to pick up, and an easy game to finish. I'm kinda in the same place right now, and if I wouldn't have played it already, I might've gone into it. Much more likely then say, Nier Automata, which I do really want to play, but it just seems SO HEAVY right now.
Based on my experience the most important step is to articulate the situation for yourself, which seemed to be the whole point of this video. Once you've done that, you might find that know that you what you're doing, you'll also know what to do next.
And finally, and this goes out to anyone reading this: There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you feel that you need it. No one can tell you that you do, you'll have to decide it for yourself. But if you do, please act on it, it really does help.
Man this one hit home.
I'm in this video and I don't like it
Same
I know this video must've been tough to sit down and do...but thank you for doing this. Makes me feel somewhat less hopeless to know that other creatives are struggling against that "I MUST ALWAYS BE PRODUCTIVE" impulse. Hope you're finding your groove again!
Omg! This is so relatable I was on the verge of tears! GAAAH! ITS OKAY! It's okay dude. Its okay that when the world is shitty, we take the time to care for ourselves in order to help others later. Honestly I cant help but wonder if we dont take care of ourselves can we really care for much else or care at the kost we could???
Not only has this entire video hit close to home, but I felt like you were describing me when you got into Apex.
Just wanted to say thank you for your words on the movement, it really means a lot to hear a creator on here speak so openly, and awarely about their position, privilege, and what we're fighting for. Thank you so much!!
Thanks for the honesty. It is much appreciated. The problem is that perhaps living in the virtual, games or politics, is like eating an incomplete diet. And so without that touch of the real we end up with the spiritual equivalent of rickets or scurvy. The answer lies in the textures and realities of the physical world. A walk through nature without any agenda or even a camera will bring to mind thoughts you need to focus upon. Likewise real world unmediated conversations with human beings will bring real world understanding. It's NOT easy anymore. Because our entertainments do so much for us now. Nature isn't immediate. Humans are messy. But if our window onto the world is primarily virtual we suffer the deficiencies eventually.
And then there is this quote by Blaise Pascal: “The only thing that consoles us for our miseries is diversion. And yet it is the greatest of our miseries. For it is that above all which prevents us thinking about ourselves and leads is imperceptibly to destruction. But for that we should be bored, and boredom would drive us to seek some more solid means of escape, but diversion passes our time and brings us imperceptibly to our death.”
The willingness to allow ourselves to be bored in order to face ourselves. Interesting concept. Takes courage.
That late-diagnosis ADHD feel. I know that feel, dude.
I don't have an official diagnosis... which is ironic, since I got described ADHD medication after discussing my problems with a psychiatrist a decade ago. I guess they were still of the believe that secondary effects (depression and anxiety) were the reason I showed ADHD symptoms and not the other way around. Now that I know all of that better I would really love to find a specialist, but it is hard at the best of times and now lockdown and social distancing make it even harder.
I too have felt unmotivated and have just wanted to play comfort games.
Unfortunately, I haven't even been able to do that. I got sick shortly after COVID started ramping up (not with COVID) and I can't play many games (comfort or not) without hurting my arms.
BTW: Really liked your Ace Attorney discussions with your friend. I often check to see if a new one has appeared, even though I don't really read blogs.
As the friend who makes those Ace Attorney discussions with the good professor, thank you so much for this comment. Hearing that people are reading them is always a delightful surprise. I also wish you the best with your recovery from illness, and hope you're able to find comfort in these trying times.
Oh wow, haven't seen your videos in years and just noticed this new video. You're in awesome shape dude
I totally feel you. I went from working the equivalent of 60+ hours a week to staying home 7 days a week in the span of a few days. I was left feeling completely hollow, because I had essentially ruled escapism out of my life, because every minute of my existence required that I be productive in some way, whether it was by listening, by working, by studying, or by actively resting so that I could be productive enough the next day. Everything I did was about performance, and it was necessary to do so, because the life I wanted to live required that sacrifice. And I was prepared for it. But I was on the path towards a burn out. My energy reserve was so thin, I was worried that I wouldn't make it to the end of my semester, because I couldn't even fathom making it to the next week.
The pandemic was a slap in the face. First, financial worry, but I was lucky enough to be in a country where I quickly received support. Then, solitude. See, I live alone. I live alone, so that I can be *more* productive, so that no one can get in my way when it comes to accomplishing the things that I have to accomplish. It's completely messed up, to see the people around me as potential nuisances. But they were - are - because a lot of what surrounds me beckons me to slow down, when I know that the key to what I want requires that I work harder.
So I figured that I'd use that time to prepare for my Master's. I listed dozens of articles that I wanted to read, and intended to make a short summary of every single one, so that I would be able to do everything faster once the seminars started. I really meant to do it. But I only read half of an article so far, because I feel so profoundly sad and confused. I'm not in the US, and so my political worries are much less soul-crushing than yours probably are. However, this pandemic has indeed separated me from my family. I resent them. I most likely had COVID around April, and I was very sick, but they act like it's just a really bad cold and keep gathering in conditions where I can't join them. I feel left out and alone. I'm tired of being at home, but I don't own a car, and even if I did, I don't have anywhere to go.
I've been watching a lot of superhero movies lately, and playing a lot of superhero games. I dream of a world where my existence is meaningful. I dream of a world where I am not tied to things like money, or where I live, or whether or not I have a car. I dream of being a man, so that the few times where I do go out, I don't have to go back because creeps keep scaring me. All in all, I went from actively rejecting escapism to essentially swimming in it most of the time. I avoid almost everything else. And I can't fault myself for being that way, because even when I analyze it from the most objective perspective, my life is simply not very fun. Nor is it very fulfilling, or meaningful, or headed towards something better - between the impending recession, the rise in rent, the growing distance between my family and I... there's very little to look forward to. I'm worried that I may even have to give up my video game studies, when people stop investing in video game research, and I am unable to find work that pays me more than minimum wage.
I don't know. I wrote a lot, but the Internet has become our new public place. Watching superhero stuff makes me feel good. And sometimes, when I feel good enough, I turn off the game for an hour or two, and I vaccuum. Or I pick up the Hannah Arendt book that I started a while back and read a page or two, and I learn new things. Or I write to someone I love - my friends, my lover - to know how they're doing, because they've become my new family. I try to appreciate those small steps for what they are in themselves - rather than obsessing over the amount of hours it took because I did those things. And it works a little. I'm better than I was a few months ago.
Hi... I'm a bit late to this but I just discovered the channel after watching the analysis of Bastion....
I'm feeling in a similar way. The way I'm usually justifying not playing the interesting games I want to play by saying "I don't want to start playing it and having to stop playiong and breaking the flow" and while that's true, I'd rather play the entire game continually instead of stopping it, playing overwatch with my SO and then going back at the game, I still need to work... and spend time with my family... and then I end up either playing something mindless I can just play while watching videos or not even playing something at all.
Then, when I finally "pick something up" I forget to do stuff because I'm so fixated in the game that I truly forget about everything else, eating, talking to people and sometimes procastinating work to play that game a bit more, and these aren't even continuous games, they are like Need For Speed Heat, and during the day, I can stop after every single race, but I wouldn't. I'd just keep playing.
These are escapisms from life, from work, from my relationship, from even starting games that I really want to play. This was worsened because I couldn't stand playing overwatch over and over again, and my SO lives for it, but we had been playing pretty much only overwatch for over a year and a half, and only mystery heroes, it felt mind numbing, and became something toxic and we fought a lot because of these things. I don't know why I'm commenting this, I guess I needed to vent this kind of stuff and this video brought to mind stuff I usually just shove in the back of my mind and not deal with.
I guess it's time to get back at therapy. I've also abandoned that, not just my games.
This resonated deeply with me, thank you for making this, I really appreciated it, I think I needed to hear this as much as you needed to say it.
I hope it helps to tell you are definitely not the only one who goes through this. I have often traced my feelings of overwhelming to my backlog. I turned games into a chore trying to focus and knock them out quickly or slowly. For me, the feeling I’m chasing after with games is that of my childhood when I had no responsibilities and forcing myself into something pushed me away from it. I try now to simply play what I am motivated to play and try not to feel bad if I’m in the mood for something else. When I’m feeling ready to come back to a certain title, it will always be there waiting. Thank you for sharing. You’re awesome and I loved your candor in this video. I think you approached everything very well.
I think things are more difficult than usual in the world right now. To be discouraged by bad news isn't entirely bad news: it means that you still care and you're looking for ways for things to work out. That empathy is a source of strength if you cultivate it properly. A big part of that is taking care of yourself, including you own mental health.
I relate to how you feel unproductive. I haven't gotten a lot of the things done that I've wanted to in the last few months. I should count myself lucky to find a new job so soon after getting laid off due to Coronavirus cutbacks at my old company. Still, I've been meaning to get back to my own creative projects as well, except I haven't.
Well... the afternoon is young. I can put in an hour or two into something concrete.
Wonderful video dear sir. I love your work.
Agreed
I don't have any real answers, but something I find sometimes helps is, rather than sitting down to an extended task (playing through a 30 hour game in order to write an in-depth analysis of it), to just sit down to play 10 minutes or half an hour - to see how the game starts, or check that it runs well - in a situation where I'm not going to need to stop in the near future. Only commit to a bite-size chunk (or even just a nibble) of progress, with the opportunity to go further if you don't feel like stopping once you hit that checkpoint. Even if you do stop at that first checkpoint, that little bit of progress still counts, and if you do continue, well, that's gravy.
I understand professor. I feel the exact same way. I'm trying to play Pokemon Sword and Shield right now, but it just feels like, what's the point? What reason do I have exactly to play another Pokemon game? I already have my phone, and I spend more time playing Dragons and Puzzles than I do Pokemon. So, why do I try to do it? As of now, I still don't have a solid answer to that, but I think your idea of nostalgia at least fills some of the holes. I love Pokemon, have since I first played it when I was 10. I WANT to be the very best, like no one ever was. And yes, I DO want to catch them all. But that can't just be it, right? What is it that makes me keep coming back to Pokemon when I don't really feel interested in it anymore? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know thing: no matter what level of Hell the world sinks into day by day, the world of Pokemon will always feel like home to me.
About 3-4 years ago, I was writing an essay for my senior year of undergrad asking the question "Are Games Literature?". At the time, Bob Dylan just got the Nobel Prize for lit, so it seemed a good a time as any to analyze the broadening perceptive of literature in the academic sphere. While trying to find good quotes and whatnot for that essay, I found this channel. It didn't help my essay, but I enjoyed watching your vids for a while. During that time, those early years as it were, I always thought that your vids were good, but there was something keeping them from being great.
Over the years, I've enjoyed watching your writing get better and more focused. It seems that you're saying more in less time, and your writing style is more developed as your own, and not just "some guy on youtube". I'm glad that I've watched this channel so consistently, because I think this is your first great video. Not only is it personal, but its topical and poignant. There are a lot of analyses out there that could be the same as anyone else's. But here, with this vid, it is something wholly your own; unique. I hope you understand your growing importance in the great tapestry of gaming analysis.
I am not one of your biggest fans. In fact, I only discovered your channel a couple days ago while trolling UA-cam for “The World Ends With You” analysis.
But let me just say, first of all, LOVE the channel. I’ve devoured so many of your insightful videos and look forward to having you in my feed in the future.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I see you, man. I see you talking in this video, and it feels like you’re telling me about myself. One of the hardest things about feeling this way is that it can be hard to find anyone who sympathizes. And I do. I understand. You’re not the only one who’s feeling this way.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing, because it helps ME just knowing that there’s someone out there who understands how powerless I feel, and how useless it can feel to not be able to meet some supposed (usually imaginary) expectation of productivity.
I may not have been one of your biggest fans so far, but rest assured, I shall be going forward. Thank you.
Really vulnerable video, Professor. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I'm in this space, too. Both with my hobbies and with my work - I'm going back to college and it feels like a herculean effort to just keep my head above water with respect to schoolwork. After I'm done I often don't have the energy to do anything but play familiar games or scroll Tumblr mindlessly. And even that dropped off - I fell off Animal Crossing New Horizons last month and have yet to pick it back up again.
On the other hand, after a few months of this, I rallied a little and got a story done I've been picking at for two years. I joined Art Fight and got a lot of pieces done for that.
I seem to be on another downswing, but that's depression for you. I've been fighting it for years and feeling like the world's going to hell isn't helping.
I think that there's nothing wrong with 'comfort food' once in a while, especially during times like these. I should replay Ecco the Dolphin and re-read Raptor Red. Maybe watch some old films, too.
You are saying exactly what I was thinking and feeling the last couple months. Keep making your content my dude.
Hey man, first of all, lots of love to you, brother. You are not alone in this - big things are happening and we can all feel it.
I can also relate to the added difficulty of unfulfilled self expectations in these times.
I got two things to say that might be useful to you and whoever else finds themselves in similar places:
1) It took me a while to realize depression isn't necessarily an emotional state, but a cognitive one. You don't need to be sad or morose to be depressed. Sometimes it just manifests in exactly the ways you described: lack of motivation and caring, a feeling of constantly swimming upstream, difficulty to engage in new activities or learn new things... this general kind of mental fatigue. Realizing this might also help take some of the pressure off. It's also useful to understand, because when it comes to life, you need to spend energy to make energy, and learning how to spend what little energy you have in order to revitalize yourself is an art form that will serve you all your life.
2) I think there's a specific difference between escapism and recreation that is important to stress, and might help nudge things in the right direction every now and then. I see it like this: escapism requires no energy investment, and in return yields no energy. It's like hitting the pause button. Recreation means you invest some small amount of energy, but receive slightly more in return. I'm writing this because I think that every little thing you can invest a little extra energy into - when you feel that you can! (forcing it can work sometimes, but can't be a long term strategy) - will end up yielding positive reinforcement.
Anyway, I dunno if this was helpful to anyone, but internet doesn't convey a should clasp or a hug or a look of understanding and encouragement, so that's what I got.
I agree that the world really sucks right now. However, there are many, many pockets of good in my life. My significant other, my family, and my favorite UA-camrs like you are just some examples of how good the world can be. Motivation is coming incredibly hard right now, but I try to think of how I can help other people, and the ways that we can move forward in spite of the world. I don't know the specifics of your life, but I can say one thing. You are a big inspiration for me, and I will always appreciate the things you create. No matter what your upload schedule is like, or what content you create, I will be here, patiently waiting and rewatching your videos over and over again. Thank you for your effort, and the inspiration you have given me to keep going.
This one resonates. It's something I struggle with constantly, trying to like, get through the things I was so excited to put on my backlog. But when I sit down to play them it feels like work compared to just... browsing reddit. Even though they obviously add much more to my life than reddit does. I wish I had an answer.
Just wanna add to the ranks of people saying I feel this whole video in its entirety
I'm trying to edit a video and its just hard to push myself to get any of it done, and finding that motivation is so spotty, and it makes me really upset with myself
Great video! Felt the exact same sense of malaise and paralysis when this coronavirus shutdown began! I had lots of plans but there was an overwhelming feeling of "what's the point?" It's hard for some people to pretend to carry on as normal when things are not normal.
My 70 hours of fallout new vegas understands this
I’ve ended up in this kind of pit myself but in a different way... playing video games to expand my horizons, grasp new ideologies, etc.
But... I’m a digital artist and I’ve not done the practice that I’ve really needed to get around to. The blissful feeling that I get from taking in an amazing new experience in a game is something I’ve chased to experience again and again... I’ve developed a lot as a person as a result, but seriously neglecting the craft that I’m supposed to be working on. I’ve finally managed to make good progress in June and July, but I’ve fallen into a bit of a blockage again, and made it 25 hours into Xenoblade in a fairly short amount of time...
I’m here wishing for the worst of it to be over, but 😩 facing the worst of it is what I need to do to move forward
I relate to this soo much! I've been wanting to work on a comic and write my own books for months, heck even years! I know I can do it but somehow I just can't. Stuck, stuck in a state of no motivation and energy. But I still want to do it and I'm not giving up, even if it means I just have to do the frustrating but healthy baby steps to reach my goals.
*yawn* go do it then.
Dude, you should really put and anxiety trigger in the title. That ending makes you really anxious. You put ourselves in your shoes and then you leave us with an existential question so real and with so much angst...
Thank you for sharing your personal story. I really appreciate it.
Really good video, gave me a lot to think about.
I think I understand what you are going through more than I'm willing to admit, and kind of stopped myself from watching this video until now thinking it would be too scary. Just nice hearing this from someone that isn't the voice inside my head, thank you.
I have no idea how, but you've hit on my exact problem lately.
Not just games; doing *anything* that I 'should' be doing - working on the fantasy story I want to publish, listening to the audiobooks my boyfriend has bought for me, watching episodes of the D&D show I have dearly fallen in love with and am so far behind on (yes, it's Critical Role), even playing the games I have been recommended (Persona 3, in my case, leading up to eventually playing Personas 4 and 5) and have enjoyed immensely...all of that falls by the wayside.
Instead, I just keep modding and restarting Skyrim. I keep playing The Sims 4, or Style Savvy, or No Man's Sky's Creative Mode. Anything with no effort. It feels like I'm trapped, stuck, just like you said. I have ADHD, just like you, but that's only so much of an excuse. I have depression and anxiety disorders, and they can freeze me up, but I've overcome this barrier before. I don't know why it's so hard to do so now.
I don't have the answers. I might never have them. But if there's any takeaway from this, it's that you are not alone in how you feel.
oh dude. I feel this so much. I don't have any answers, either but... you're not alone. Good luck out there.
I just found your channel and I live in Chico. I throughly enjoy everything you’ve said and you’ve inspired me to write my own essays on what I know about art and video games (lmaooo I’ll finally use my humanities degree).
Take a break when you need it. You touched on a lot of heavy and relatable topics in here, so if you just need to sit for a minute, feel free. Maybe take a walk around sunset, try to find a new way to relax 💖
(Also it was super refreshing to hear a white dude say that bit abt nostalgia, naïveté, and ignorance. Thank u for your work)
Oh hey, nice to find someone from the same area! Glad you found the channel. :)
Here is something that you can do that might help: take a break from your social media and news outlets for a month and then step back and count your blessings, after all you have quite a few. You have someone you love who you can play video games with, a place to live, food to eat, and an interesting tie. I’m sure there are a ton of other things too that I don’t know about.
I saw something once about people with anxiety rewatching shows/movies, rereading books, etc because, even if the genre was horror or thriller, it was familiar. They already knew what the outcome was and that was comforting amid such constant inner turmoil. I don’t know if there’s any science behind it, but that definitely lines up with my experience.
There’s a lot going on right now. Take it one day at a time and listen to yourself. If you need to take it slow or replay a favorite “comfort food” game more than usual, do it. Get through right now. As you can, let in those more nutritional enriching game experiences, but don’t beat yourself up for just enjoying something. Take care.
WOW this is how I've felt since March. And, tbh, how I felt during and after a bad time in my life. Whuch makes me think you've made a video that can serve as a case study of coping. Surviving. Instead of saying "i should be doing X but i'm not whats wrong", maybe we should all be taught to think "i should be doing x but I'm not, this feeling meand that something is wrong, i should be heslthy but I'm cleatly not, what can we do then?"
Guess what, the phrase your needing is "Executive disorder" take a look, read a bit, you'll see it fits right in with ADHD and Anxiety and a lot of other things, it's such a common component of other disorders.
Great! Now i think i have ADHD.
it's in a LOT of things, don't come to a conclusion without professional assistance
I dunno how you managed to do it but from 4:30 to 6:00 you captured my exact thoughts on why I play games. It's the reason games like rocket league and fortnite have never really interested me. I don't get anything new out of them, I don't feel emotionally or intellectually challenged. The world ends with me, as I've learned, and I enjoy games that will push that world further.
And you were totally right about all this sounding pretentious as hell.
this video really resonated with me. it just doesnt hit like it used to anymore. idk if its me, the world, or maybe both...
I think you are the first one who spoke about that, but this is very common, at least for me is, but I never have put into words, thanks
For a while now i've been trying to balance out things that you mention. I work at 3 jobs - full time school's psychologist, full time academia lecturer/researcher, and having my own practice on a side. My daughter is 11 months old, i'm trying to be as much present in her life and to be a supportive husband to my wife. Things are hectic to say the least, i'm bulding some resilience incorporating Stoic phylosophy to kinda get me going.
But there are days when nothing helps. I need to get away from it for a while. Buddhist monk would go to seclusion and be off the world for weeks. I can't afford that but what i can do is become Spawn of Bhaal again and try to solo the whole Baldur's Gate 2 or i hear the call of the Force and take on the Ebon Hawk. Somedays i need to build a small house in minecraft. Often i crave for adventure so i'm putting those silly Guybrush Threepwood look and try to save Elaine co's she's cursed into golden statue. And i need that escape to cope. It can be one evening, maybe 2 hours before sleep. But this, in my darkest days, can keep me happy to go and grind another day.
It's okay dude
I had a similar experience with some games recently. The Last of Us Part 2 is brilliant but SO hard to play, especially right now. Minecraft doesn't draw me in the way it did before COVID. I'm finding that different games, games less oriented around combat and violence are where my head feels best right now. After having both Gris and Tacoma on my PS4 hard drive for months I finally played them both through from beginning to end and found them delightful - gentle explorations of character and creativity that just feel good to play right now. Somehow, that has also helped to steady me and make me more productive in other areas in my life.
There's nothing wrong with revisiting old favorites either. I'm currently re-playing the point-and-click adventure 'The Longest Journey' - partially in preparation for another game in my backlog, 'Dreamfall Chapters' - but also just because it's a game I remember fondly and fits into that character-driven model that's working for me right now.
I'm starting to read more (another thing I've been struggling with) and I'm finally doing the things that need to be done to close out the house I need to sell. It all helps, in one way or another.
You'll get there, James - we all will. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
I appreciate the sincerity in sharing Your thoughts on self discovery. Thank you.
Just do what makes you happy first, and take it one day at a time. That's my best advice.
I know the hardest part is just doing the thing, but I think pushing yourself to play at least 15 minutes of whatever game you have planned for your next analysis would be the best step forward. If you're not feeling it then you can turn it off and it only took 15 minutes out of your day, if you're feeling it then you keep playing until you want a break.
I recently got into streaming and that's encouraged me to play more often. It also helps that 3 other friends also started doing twitch stuff at the same time and we watch each other's streams, but I reckon you could get at least a dozen people watching you at any given time and interact with chat along the way.
I love your style of videos and your perspective but I rarely have experience with the games you make a video on. So this video is pretty cool
100% how I've felt recently. I was practically forcing myself to play Doom Eternal until I acknowledged I just wasn't having fun with it and uninstalled the thing. Keep going back to games I've already played and that make me feel happy.
OMG, is like I am hearing myself in the voice of professor. Every single word and feeling is what I am feeling right now.
We will gonna make it together, Professor! And soon games will be something that we love again.
You know, one solution to this paradox could be just... Accepting that you're not capable of doing everything at once and breaking down the task. Just Choose three games to play in a week, two short one long, and give yourself the rest of the time to do what your brain needs to get rid of that stress. To borrow the voice of GlaDoS, the best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one.
What may help is just simply abstaining from all media for a day or so a month or week, perhaps every Sunday as a sort of "tech Sabbath". Radical issues may require radical solutions. It helped me vastly with porn addiction, and I understand that may not be relevant to your situation or may even be harmful in that you trap yourself in a room with your demons and no way to deal with them. But you can deal with them. If not an entire day, break it up across days at the cost of effectiveness.
Good to have you back, professor.
This is just my opinion, but I think ever sine the November Iran riots, the pandemic, etc. I've felt that none of this matters anymore. The world s ruled by tyrants and it doesn't matter to keep up with the latest movies, games., etc . I've been wanting to play some game, like you wanted to revisit Bioshock, but I just couldn't do. It's as if I don't have the urge to go through the challenges and stories of the games, even though on normal circumstances I'd love to drown myself in games with great narratives.
Thanks for making this video.
Cheers from Iran.
When the pandemic hit I immediately dumped 100 hours into Chocobo's Mystery Dungeon: Every Buddy. The repetitive nature of going down dozens of samey dungeon floors over and over again combined with the cute visuals was really soothing. My other timesink has been the Atelier series, which again has a comforting, repetitive cycle of gathering and crafting combined with an overall chill vibe. Not much else to add other than that I hear you.
I feel like a fraud. I am a fraud. I have not done anything with my life except play video games. I don't do what I want to do because I doubt my abilities. I am wasting financial aid because I don't have the discipline to study and complete assignments. I am a fraud. I can't shake this feeling
It's not pretentious man. There are a lot of people with your same thought process. And you kinda just made me realize that it's okay to think that way.
"Guesting on a friend's blog where we replay the Phoenix Wright games."
Would that be Wright Wednesday? Yoooooo! I've been reading it in more or less real time ever since The First Turnabout! I'm pretty new to this UA-cam channel, though, so hopefully that excuses me failing to connect the dots between the two Ace Attorney fans called Sam analysing videogames :D
Yep, that's me! Happy to see a fan of Wright Wednesday!
I'm in such a bad spot right now, I can relate to this except the thing I have to do isn't videogames, and the escapism i've been doing is worse in a way, since I even resorted to way less healthy things than playing games to escape, although i've done that too. Honestly I don't know how to stop and it is overwhelming.
Hey, during the pandemics, I felt like so emotionally rock bottom that I needed some sort of joy. Tried first on Final Fantasy 7 Remake(in which I was very skeptical until I saw Dan Floyd's playthrough) and Persona 5 royal. Loved them both, but I felt exhausted on playing them on some point. Since then I've been looking for some cheesiness on some games on games like Kingdom Hearts, and if not a game, then in things like Mexican telenovelas. I hope things get better for me
I love Dan, his channel is so intensely positive. His videos are soemtimes the only things I have to look forward to in a given day.
I thought at first this was going to be a reaction and response to that one podcast clip that was going around twitter a few days ago but it was actually more personal than that.
I know this feeling exactly and you've articulated it so well. Destiny 2 is I guess the closest thing I have to an escapist game, though I don't play it enough fully to classify it as such since most of the remaining content I have left and want to do requires finding a group of people to play through with, meaning I'm not consistently playing solo much anymore. Nah most of my easy escape activities are the most passive media to consume, watching UA-cam videos ....kinda like this one. And it's not rewatching stuff I've seen a million times before, there's an infinite amount of new videos posted every day so I still feel like I'm experiencing something new while not making a great effort. But it can only stave off the feeling of guilt of meaninglessness for so long.
You are not alone, we're all trying to figure this out as best we can. I was also getting psychiatric help to figure myself out that had to be cut short because I turned 26 and was taken off my parents' insurance, and my minimum wage job doesn't have benefits. (This was last year btw. You can prob guess why I haven't felt very motivated to make much progress on this front.) I hope that someday soon I can go back to that but until then I'm trying my hardest to not spiral into full on nihilism. And I hope that things get better for you and your partner.
(Also where can I see this blog of your friends' about Ace Attorney? I love seeing people's reactions to that)
I felt this video emotionally and spiritually. I am not the only one who feels this way.
Man, this hits home...
Other people have already commented on this but this mental block, where you can't even begin to do things that you know would be beneficial/meaningful/fulfilling but you KNOW if you could just start it could be good? Sounds like the executive dysfunction part of Adhd (±burnout).
This can make it hard to prioritize stuff in the best of times, though we might develop coping mechanisms. But I think with everything going on in the world those internal coping systems we have created break down because there are new, pressing, existential priorities (with varying degrees of how much we can do about them.)
If there are multiple tasks of value but everything is stressful, suddenly anything that doesn't have at least a little instant gratification feels basically impossible. Heck, even choosing a task can feel impossible, and then begins the guilt cycle where nothing feels like enough and no rest is restorative because "I should be doing more". (This comic is a good expansion of that twitter.com/ADHD_Alien/status/1157690943014920192)
I think little a escapism is ok; we do what we need to survive, AND it's good to acknowledge as you have done when we devote a disproportionate amount of time and energy to escapism over other important things. It's not a moral failure, (god knows that's hard to believe) it's just how the ADHD brain is wired so that chasing dopamine feels like self-preservation, even if we know it's not in the long term. For myself, I have found the most helpful thing was having someone I trust to keep me accountable (the guilt of letting a loved one down and having to explain myself to them shifts some tasks up the priority list; but more than that when failure does happen I can trust them to call me out when my energy distribution doesn't align with my goals or help troubleshoot. Basically, outsource the thing I cannot trust my brain cannot do.), but there are also ADHD communities that have accountability chats and places where people share their coping mechanisms.
All this to say... you're not alone. And it's not laziness, but it is a problem with energy distribution that can be dealt with and that you're clearly trying to deal with. I don't think this can be overcome alone or with brute force (at least for us DREADpirates); if recent events have taught us anything is that we need to support each other and allow ourselves to be supported when we need it.
This was a really well done and thoughtful video! It's nice to see here and in the comments that other people are dealing with the same sort of feelings and apathy towards backlog, even when they're games I *want* to play. It's been a weird feeling. But the discussion and working through your thoughts and feelings was good for me to reflect on, too, and I think helped give a bit of clarity. And having even that little bit of clarity I think makes it a little easier to deal with, so it kinda helped make me feel like ok, I can go open up that game I've been meaning to play/finish, and play it even for an hour or two. I hope it's been cathartic for you to actually get these thoughts out there, too!
Dear Games professor. May i suggest Legacy of kain ? they are amazing in entertainment and Lore / Story value. It helped me a few years back when i was in a similar situation as you. All my support for you. Btw by sharing your videos YOU ARE ALREADY DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, for you and all your fans
This rings painfully true. And yet I'll stay in my never ending spiral of doing nothing to change.
For me my comfort games are straightforward platformers like Celeste, n++, or broforce and puzzle games which I have beaten over and over again so I've memorized each and every puzzle but I still find it fun to solve. I have so many great games in my to do list like Snake Pass, Beholder, Beyond good and evil, Spec Ops, and the Mass Affect and Fallout series but starting something new feels almost impossible, especially when I've got all of these comfort games right there
That hair is on point man.
I feel like that too, thank you, it was very cathartic!
Thank you, I needed that.
This video makes me feel slightly uncomfortable in the best way. Ty good sir
Its burnout, man. Not the fatigue that goes away after a while but that which builds up slowly and stays for a while. With any artistic endeavour it eventually happens. You need a long break and some re-assessment.
About escapism, Is the whole world not an escapism which is keeping us away from realizing our oneness? Everything is escapism, man. No need for feeling guilty.
I watched the whole video and was like 'this is just me :/' and I was like 'okay so how did he deal with it' and then the video ended and I was like ;-; feels tho man
Well, I'm late to the party, but I imagine it's a bit iffy doing games for a living? It's similar to how educational games have an inner tension between play and a predetermined goal. It's a lot different than lurking in the Age of Mythology wiki and accumulating sus amounts of that info for no good reason. And if new games become work, old games can be a nice way to avoid it.
Also, let's not mention how games have become somewhat stagnant where it's often the same concept/mechanics with a tiny new twist or better graphics. I recently got a feeling I exhausted the fantasy rpg tropes and it's the same "chosen one saves world with a skill tree" thing and it's just rinse, repeat and possibly meta-game with a guide or a wiki for the optimal play. That's why I got interested in this channel anyhow, to see what's out there in game stories. I speculate that was one of the reasons Undertale exploded as it did, because it subverted rpg tropes and by doing so offered the possibility to have that sense of wonder and exploration.
Really thoughtful and thought provoking video! Thank you for uploading this.
ADHD and productivity is a bitch. Sometimes despite our intentions, we just dont want to do it.
You are not alone.
I had Zelda Breath of the Wild for the last 4 months but couldn't bring myself to play it. Then one day I just started playing it and I am having fun. Now I just need to do some of the school work that I been putting off for a similar amount of time. LOL
Dude I'm happy you're playing coffee talk. I found that one very soothing. Any chance you'll play Ancestors: the humankind Odyssey?
There's a word for what you're going through, it's called Executive Dysfunction. I have it too.
Thank you for expressing yourself. The more you do the better you'll feel. Also, try to ask yourself why you do what you are doing in general? Is your personal life goal at the moment is to play games so you can write essays about them? Why? And by the way if you have a load of stuff to do I believe it is time for you to create a schedule for your youtube channel. You mentioned you have a day job, a partner and stuff you revisit to enjoy yourself, that is normal and it's a good thing. Now know that you can work around it by priority, as in which matters most? Decide which has more importance and schedule your youtube channel around your day job, partner, and stuff you like to do.
I hope this helps, thank you for your channel, it is great to hear your opinion. Also, strategize how your UA-cam channel will grow! Figure out how to make this your main source of income so that you can gain hrs in the day to your channel and have more leeway with other things. Any who, thanks for reading this comment I hope I didn't take out of your time. Bye.
I don't agree with all of your political views... but i agree that the world has become way too political lately, and it's starting to bring everyone down. I'm glad games are a way for people of different backgrounds and views to come together, and enjoy sharing a hobby. At the end of the day, life should be one big co-op PvE.
I hope things get better for you. I've been away from the channel for a bit, but i'm glad you're still active. All the best.
Spend some time studying eastern philosophy or even just listen to Alan Watts on UA-cam a bit every day. Best wishes and despite the highly personal content in this video I'm sure plenty of people who view it are experiencing similar circumstances. You're honestly no doubt will help many through their own difficult situations.
Thank you for this
I keep playing Brawl Stars... even though I could be playing HL: Alyx or No Man Sky VR. PCVR seems like such a bother. My VR rig is still unplugged despite my office remodel being complete 2 weeks ago.
I'm spending my free time on a little boat I bought.
Talking of the wall, watch the channel HowToADHD, there is one directly referencing the "Wall of Awful"
Good talk.
The mentality of games being in a 'backlog' isnt a great way of looking at it, as you are just workifying your favourite leisure time activity. Loads of people give advice on the internet and I'm just another online idiot but if I were you I'd play whatever game I want in my freetime and, as your channel is about reviewing, make time slots in the week which you dedicate to doing those games and review videos. It is just separating those life modes and putting that into a schedule which works for you, and then endeavour to stick to it. Be harsh on yourself to ensure you stick to the schedule but don't beat yourself up too much if you miss it on once or twice. Comment is well too late but hope it could still help a bit.
Salari brought me here❤️💜.
💜💜💜