Trump Tweets Tough, But He's Got Nothing On Jesus

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2 тис.

  • @m1umo
    @m1umo 8 років тому +310

    "Mr. Trump, Putin is not the leader's intelligence we've been questioning". I'm done.

    • @RohonNag
      @RohonNag 8 років тому +26

      not the leader WHOSE intelligence* (not leader's.)

  • @toadjiang7626
    @toadjiang7626 8 років тому +1792

    "I'm like a smart person." "I know words, I have the best words." "I know the best people, better than the ones you've heard of." "I know things other people don't know.".................... I can't believe nearly half of Americans have fallen for this kind of 7-year-old level BS!

    • @generationofswine-ge5rw
      @generationofswine-ge5rw 8 років тому +30

      Toad Jiang Are you really surprised?

    • @Tenwaystospoildinner
      @Tenwaystospoildinner 8 років тому +44

      Toad Jiang Only half of Americans voted, less than half of which voted for Trump. At best, 25 percent did. And even then, 17 percent of Trump supporters don't trust him. They really believed he was the lesser of two evils.

    • @jairmartinez5156
      @jairmartinez5156 8 років тому +2

      Ten ways to spoil dinner remember emails-emails-emails-emails...........on your plate at dinner for months until Hillary decided to hibernate in nature.

    • @Jianeen
      @Jianeen 8 років тому +21

      Actually trumpanzees are in the minority now.

    • @boneykingofsomewhere
      @boneykingofsomewhere 8 років тому +38

      "i love the poorly educated" sums up his win.......allow me to come off all Presidential for a sec.
      #sad

  • @riveromontara1242
    @riveromontara1242 8 років тому +125

    "When Donald Trump calls you out for being unethical, that's a wake-up call." :D

  • @konsextus
    @konsextus 8 років тому +1258

    "Mr. Trump. Putin is not the leader who's intelligence we've been questioning!" Enough said!!

    • @abhishetty2637
      @abhishetty2637 8 років тому +28

      he is a fucking mastermind ,i haven't seen a leader so calculative and dangerous since Stalin , he deserves credit for that

    • @RuvenssGWilches
      @RuvenssGWilches 8 років тому +2

      I haven't seen someone so dumb to compare Putin with a communist leader, since Putin is against the communist party.

    • @badlydrawnturtle8484
      @badlydrawnturtle8484 8 років тому +25

      +Ruvenss G Wilches
      You do realize that communism isn't the only dangerous ideology, right?

    • @strange2uwaterworld974
      @strange2uwaterworld974 8 років тому +20

      Badly Drawn Turtle - Sure isn't. We've got Christianity, Islam, Catholicism, 3rd wave feminism, sjw mentality, pro-lifers, flat earthers, creationism...

    • @abhishetty2637
      @abhishetty2637 8 років тому +1

      StrangE2u Waterworld there have always been idiots , but never before could so many idiots connect with one other so easyly , stupidly is relative ,I'm stupid , your stupid , everyone is stupid if you look from a certain perspective , even Stephen Hawking is stupid while it comes to dancing

  • @bluethan806
    @bluethan806 8 років тому +280

    It shocks me how many people still take Trump seriously
    Edit: obviously as President, we need to take that seriously, but with Trump it's more of a feared seriousness. This man isn't even my president, but as a Canadian citizen I am still in danger of being affected by him. But what I mean to say shocks me is the amount of people who take Donald Trump as a person seriously, as the president. To listen to him and think "that's president worthy" is what astounds me.

    • @icedmochas9376
      @icedmochas9376 8 років тому +27

      Republicans are retards. This has been known for decades. It's no surprise these brain dead fuckers support the orange buffoon.

    • @jonathansmall4573
      @jonathansmall4573 8 років тому +4

      It shocks me how many people like you still exist on the face of Earth.

    • @mimperial1982
      @mimperial1982 8 років тому +2

      You told him!
      /s

    • @Therealsidjones
      @Therealsidjones 8 років тому +1

      .....I loathe people like you.

    • @robinsonenterprises7385
      @robinsonenterprises7385 8 років тому +3

      Ethan Micallef Hes our president

  • @waltmagic
    @waltmagic 8 років тому +150

    "He has to digest the information before he pulls it out of his ass" Great line!

  • @keybraker
    @keybraker 8 років тому +439

    When you thank your self for something you did not do. lol

    • @4therepublic733
      @4therepublic733 8 років тому +1

      Keybraker it was because of him. Consumer confidence is up

    • @shamicentertainment1262
      @shamicentertainment1262 8 років тому +17

      Couldn't that have been from christmas stuff?

    • @4therepublic733
      @4therepublic733 8 років тому +1

      Shamic Entertainment it's not likely.. being its the highest it has been in 15 years

    • @TheDarksteel94
      @TheDarksteel94 8 років тому

      I think it was meant to sound like "Thanks, Obama!", which, as most people know, was one of the most overused phrases in the last few years. :P

    • @tureytaino2785
      @tureytaino2785 8 років тому +4

      Wait 6 months for his budget and we will see. We are still under Obama's budget.

  • @danielcaceres4821
    @danielcaceres4821 8 років тому +196

    Americans are in for a fun ride! You were warned though!

    • @imtiazuddin6257
      @imtiazuddin6257 8 років тому +14

      I feel sad for them. SAD!!! :D

    • @monicanavarro2906
      @monicanavarro2906 8 років тому +13

      They deserve it. As much as I love my American friends and family members, the just pay for the unjust. They, as a nation, need a wake up call for all their actions.

    • @reddawncomming5889
      @reddawncomming5889 8 років тому

      did you see greece welcoming obama. look at tat fun utube video

    • @myfavs5393
      @myfavs5393 8 років тому

      Thanks princess! Just worry about your privileged self and your leftist friends

    • @imtiazuddin6257
      @imtiazuddin6257 8 років тому

      teckelred It isn't a democracy at all. When 79k votes is more important than 2.8 Million it isn't called democracy. Their so called founders built the Electoral college not to have a balance. They built it because they knew that sometime in the future slaves will be free, and they didn't wanted THOSE SLAVES to dictate the outcome of an election.

  • @TheTorridestCheese
    @TheTorridestCheese 8 років тому +524

    New Year's just started and the government is already a shit show. Gonna be a fun four years.

    • @ambercherise2391
      @ambercherise2391 8 років тому +6

      Well, we asked for it!

    • @adamj2428
      @adamj2428 8 років тому +17

      Amber Cherise The majority of Americans asked for something else. The powers that be decided to go a different route however.

    • @idontknowwhatimdoing4632
      @idontknowwhatimdoing4632 8 років тому +10

      Atonement for? Barack Obama has been a great president. There is nothing you can say that will convince anyone with a rational head otherwise. Sure he may have been a little naive in thinking that Republicans would work with him but everything he's done and tried to do has been for the betterment of this country.

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 8 років тому +4

      pcbgatlas our sins included putting W in office and now putting Trump in office.

    • @idontknowwhatimdoing4632
      @idontknowwhatimdoing4632 8 років тому +3

      pcbgatlas well no I do not but than again find me any government whos been completely free of sin. Good Luck!

  • @neharawat293
    @neharawat293 8 років тому +29

    Missed Colbert🙌

  • @oriolez555
    @oriolez555 8 років тому +170

    Awww, he's back!!!! MISS YOU Colbert 💗✨🌸✨

    • @joshuagraham7646
      @joshuagraham7646 8 років тому

      Oriolez he's been back for a while

    • @oriolez555
      @oriolez555 8 років тому

      Joshua Graham I didn't know, I just saw the videos on UA-cam

    • @joshuagraham7646
      @joshuagraham7646 8 років тому

      Oriolez it's been awhile since the report finale

    • @joshuagraham7646
      @joshuagraham7646 8 років тому +2

      Oriolez I miss that show

  • @WASDxMerceless
    @WASDxMerceless 8 років тому +67

    Did Trump just try to paraphrase "Thanks Obama" ?

    • @thelexicon7294
      @thelexicon7294 8 років тому +14

      If I thought he was familiar with the concept of paraphrasing, I'd say yes. As it is... could have been an epic accident? (Like his presidency.)

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp 8 років тому +8

      WASDxMerceless That's not a paraphrase, that's a yufanism

    • @krombopulos_michael
      @krombopulos_michael 8 років тому +31

      WASDxMerceless he's flipped it. With Obama it was about blaming him for bad things he had nothing to do with, for Trump it's about praising himself for good things he had nothing to do with.

    • @saferider1094
      @saferider1094 8 років тому

      borot man : A Yufa- what ?

    • @MistedMind
      @MistedMind 8 років тому

      @sagerider10 Not sure if Euphemism? xD

  • @danboyle116
    @danboyle116 8 років тому +37

    For a long time now I thought that. "Dubya" was the stupidest person to ever sit in the big chair. Boy, was I wrong.

    • @krombopulos_michael
      @krombopulos_michael 8 років тому +16

      Dan Boyle this guy makes GWB look like a member of the intellectual elite.

    • @last808
      @last808 8 років тому +4

      It's going to be interesting. Trump will be the first President that's never held public office or served in the US military.

    • @clairealderwood1928
      @clairealderwood1928 8 років тому +7

      Or gave a crap about anyone but himself.

    • @415s30
      @415s30 8 років тому +4

      Or not know anything

    • @sperrinwell-beingandyoga9224
      @sperrinwell-beingandyoga9224 6 місяців тому

      Oh Dan, I am watching this in May 2024. Not much change since 2017, alas.

  • @nigelsenchez
    @nigelsenchez 8 років тому +24

    War is Peace
    Freedom is slavery
    Ignorance is strength
    Hate is Love❤️

  • @ivonnecayabyab4262
    @ivonnecayabyab4262 8 років тому +204

    OH THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK.

  • @radhwangothic
    @radhwangothic 8 років тому +11

    Stephen is on fire already! Biggest balls in all late shows. 💙

  • @chayob8914
    @chayob8914 8 років тому +7

    Thank God you're back Stephen! One of the only people that got us through 2016. We need you on TV everyday just to keep some sanity. Love!

  • @limminji1
    @limminji1 8 років тому +25

    theres so many controversies with trump i just lost track of it

    • @krombopulos_michael
      @krombopulos_michael 8 років тому +11

      Presidentarino Kripperino that's kind of why it works in his favour. People only learn this stuff through repetition. When he has a new scandal every week it means that none of it gets to really sink in or feel like a big deal. It's why something like not releasing tax returns feels like a little side bar. If Clinton had done that, nobody would even be mentioning emails, because that is so much more suspicious, but when Trump refuses to it gets like 3 days of coverage before they move onto the next thing he did.

    • @hittingyouoverthehead
      @hittingyouoverthehead 8 років тому +1

      Exactly! That's exactly how he won the Presidency.

    • @Looserkid13
      @Looserkid13 8 років тому

      You're just proving how brainwashed media controlled robots with no will the Americans are.

  • @lisab9541
    @lisab9541 2 роки тому +5

    Saying they are "Not just TV friends" is the cutest! Who wouldn't want to hang out with these two? These two would have so much they could talk about to each other. What interesting lives and professional achievements they have had.

  • @luluk2112
    @luluk2112 8 років тому +7

    i can't stop laughing at this!....i swear Stephen is my therapy

  • @Shiva108
    @Shiva108 8 років тому +66

    Trump vs. Mayweather! Boy would I love to see that!!!

    • @kalvinteo2600
      @kalvinteo2600 8 років тому

      Mayweather with the haymaker - oh, wait, oh no, the Trump has him locked in. He has him locked in!

    • @Shiva108
      @Shiva108 8 років тому +1

      ***** one thing's for sure: Floyd is going to need a very long shower afterwards.

    • @dawna1952
      @dawna1952 8 років тому

      shiva1008 o

    • @j.hypolite5163
      @j.hypolite5163 8 років тому

      shiva1008 I'd bet money on trumping winning. fo sho

    • @Shiva108
      @Shiva108 8 років тому +6

      Hypolite on account of him actually being a trumpl'oeil of course..he'd confuse Mayweather to death.

  • @terryleung5063
    @terryleung5063 8 років тому +11

    Stephen Colbert is so so so good and humorous, as always. Love him.

  • @peace4myheart
    @peace4myheart 8 років тому +94

    Goddamn, we have such a stupid president come January 20th. LOVE!

  • @jeffcorsiglia5379
    @jeffcorsiglia5379 8 років тому +9

    When Don King becomes a spokesman for the President of your country you have to ask yourself "what the fuck just happened?"

  • @GazmoSin1960s
    @GazmoSin1960s 8 років тому +5

    Always able to bring in the laughs to this crazy situation. You go Colbert!

  • @lindzay5359
    @lindzay5359 8 років тому +11

    Fuck "LOVE!" is stuck in my head now

  • @giorgialadashvili4771
    @giorgialadashvili4771 8 років тому +1112

    Trump's twitter is slowly devolving into a Putin fangirl diary.

    • @qwertyCandy
      @qwertyCandy 8 років тому +48

      How long before he starts linking to NSFW fanarts?

    • @ihatedonaldtrump5620
      @ihatedonaldtrump5620 8 років тому +2

      G Alad hahahaha

    • @Robin-kp1nv
      @Robin-kp1nv 8 років тому +41

      And soon we'll see Putin x Trump x Pence Love Triangle Fanfics

    • @oldfashionrealamerican7458
      @oldfashionrealamerican7458 8 років тому

      find how you liberals idiots know attack Putin and Russia back in 2012, Barack Hussein Obama even praise Putin and mitt Romney was warns Russia, and lol stupid libertads 😂😂😂

    • @Sam_Guevenne
      @Sam_Guevenne 8 років тому +38

      you my friend need to learn english

  • @LoneWolfZakuro14
    @LoneWolfZakuro14 8 років тому +160

    Yaaaay! It's back!

    • @Yasmeentea
      @Yasmeentea 8 років тому +17

      I know, I am so happy. I hope you have are doing well. 😊

    • @Yasmeentea
      @Yasmeentea 8 років тому +2

      ***** Me too, and my name is also Jasmine lol. Have a nice day as well. :)

    • @zain4019
      @zain4019 8 років тому +2

      Jasmine Tea that's actually really nice :)

    • @Yasmeentea
      @Yasmeentea 8 років тому +3

      greenthumb b Thanks, it's easy to be mean online since you don't know the person you are interacting with, so I want to be nice since I don't know what the person is going through. With that, I hope you have a nice day too. :)

    • @LoneWolfZakuro14
      @LoneWolfZakuro14 8 років тому +1

      Oh my god this conversation is so lovely. lol

  • @nihilnohana
    @nihilnohana 8 років тому +7

    Stephen is so savage and I love it.

  • @to2burger
    @to2burger 8 років тому +46

    "Of course President Elect Trump defended America by supporting Russia."

    • @magdalebel6092
      @magdalebel6092 4 роки тому

      You might want to check your facts. Looks like Biden is the one with ties to Russia.

    • @magdalebel6092
      @magdalebel6092 4 роки тому

      Not Trump, Biden

  • @thatmahtabgirl
    @thatmahtabgirl 8 років тому +12

    My days were depressing without him and now it's gonna get better, Thanks Stephen.

  • @kellylingro3288
    @kellylingro3288 8 років тому +7

    10:43 I literally choked on my coffee

  • @spacitron4818
    @spacitron4818 8 років тому +33

    This would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

  • @samueljames9270
    @samueljames9270 8 років тому +2

    The joke about having to digest the information before pulling it out of his ass had me dead 😂😂😂😂

  • @tilaNmanx
    @tilaNmanx 8 років тому +1

    Dude I've missed you. *salutes with a single tear rolling down mah face* Welcome back.

  • @itscris1973
    @itscris1973 8 років тому +39

    Colbert and Noah are back baby! WOOOOOO!

    • @yosemt780
      @yosemt780 8 років тому

      It's Cris ☺☺☺

    • @gorginhanson
      @gorginhanson 8 років тому +1

      Yes but Noah isn't funny. Bring back Jon Stewart and we'll actually have some solace.

    • @itscris1973
      @itscris1973 8 років тому +2

      gorginhanson What do you mean he isn't funny?!??

    • @gorginhanson
      @gorginhanson 8 років тому

      It's Cris I guess what I meant to say is that: he isn't funny.

    • @itscris1973
      @itscris1973 8 років тому

      gorginhanson Whatever you say man

  • @sacmakiz
    @sacmakiz 8 років тому +38

    Really excited about Trump's upcoming foolishness in the next four years even though he's not my president.

    • @catmom1322
      @catmom1322 8 років тому +3

      nor mine

    • @ln031744
      @ln031744 8 років тому +1

      Agreed! & we have Stephen Colbert here to make us laugh through it! Love, Stephen, love! 😂

    • @timmyjoey6633
      @timmyjoey6633 8 років тому

      He will be YOUR president though, so hop off the Magic School Bus and put down your coloring books.

  • @cdismufasa
    @cdismufasa 8 років тому +4

    Whenever he comes back from a break his monologues are soooo good.

  • @turboking95
    @turboking95 8 років тому +4

    "He needs time to digest the information before he yanks it out of his ass." PRICELESS. X'D

  • @ScottThomasPhoto
    @ScottThomasPhoto 8 років тому +3

    In a recent interview on CBS, you mentioned you would like to have Donald Trump on your show. I think after this monologue, I don't think it is ever going to happen. LOL Thank you for saying what a lot of us are thinking.

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 Рік тому

      Donald Trump was already on the show. His second guest ever, I think

  • @narutoqweavatar
    @narutoqweavatar 8 років тому +3

    Trump vs Mayweather! Make it happen! I'll pay to watch that!

  • @EliasBac
    @EliasBac 8 років тому +51

    Trump is a real life version of Cartman.

  • @lauratamayo6830
    @lauratamayo6830 8 років тому +4

    Love you Stephen!! I think you're going help me get through my Trump depression!!

  • @blazep629
    @blazep629 8 років тому +2

    I nearly lost it at the Daughter's B-Day card! *Love!* ❤️

  • @machkeznho8692
    @machkeznho8692 8 років тому +3

    Dear Mr. Colbert,
    I wanted to thank you for your show over the past several weeks, The elections had me so utterly disenchanted as an American who served his country in a time of war and your show has allowed me to see the absolute humor behind it all. Thanks for bringing someone who is really down in the dumps some laughter during the holidays my life has been really hard but your "Like a really funny guy"

  • @717paddy
    @717paddy 8 років тому +4

    That last joke was savage... A+ for that one!

  • @a.joseph518
    @a.joseph518 8 років тому +4

    Donald got that from "two Corinthians" 😂

  • @definitelynotskynet
    @definitelynotskynet 3 роки тому +3

    I know this one is old but I had to watch it just because the thumbnail is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

  • @fixtehfernback
    @fixtehfernback 6 років тому +1

    Aww listening to his piano player talk about their friendship was so sweet 🖤👍

  • @theorigin12
    @theorigin12 8 років тому +1

    I'm just dying here at the appearance of Don King XD

  • @everyonesfavoritecritic
    @everyonesfavoritecritic 8 років тому +4

    First, he tells himself to keep calm on stage. Now he's thanking himself. Cabinet members better watch out -- he might fire them and replace them with himself.

  • @msluvlee717
    @msluvlee717 8 років тому +3

    The fact that Trump called millions of Americans enemies is very troubling! Also they didn't stop the Ethics Committee dismantling because of Trump's tweet but because of thousands of phone calls from the American people! He is not against the idea he just thinks they have bad timing!

  • @ragnarokncc3137
    @ragnarokncc3137 8 років тому +4

    Stephen went haaaard. Savage! Love!

  • @aNytmare
    @aNytmare 8 років тому +17

    So this is how liberty dies.... with thunderous applaus!

    • @UserRobot215
      @UserRobot215 8 років тому

      Nyt Mare yep. Perhaps he might even build a Death Star.

    • @aNytmare
      @aNytmare 8 років тому +2

      Well there is tons I can do, when you call me any of that. But I doubt that you understand the fundamental problem here. And I don't think I can explain it to you in a way, you would accept or understand.

    • @OppaiAI
      @OppaiAI 8 років тому

      You can't explain it because you are brainwashed. You keep repeating what the corrupt media is telling you, crying for safe space, hatting on people for making a reasonable decision you disagree with, but you can't explain why the liberty supposedly dying or why people voted like they did.
      You are not an enlightened rebel watching the fall of the free society, you are a mindless drone brainwashed into submission by an evil and inhumane system which just took a massive hit.

    • @aNytmare
      @aNytmare 8 років тому

      Ok let me try. Trump is a demagogue. He will say anything to make the people happy. But he is the first one (I know of) to openly admit to that. And history shows, having a demagogue in power can be very dangerous. Getting rid of the ethics committee is a very dangerous move. As John Dalberg-Acton said: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. The Ethics committee is a self imposed balance to keep the people at power in check, that forces self reflection. It is basically the first line of defense for a politician to crave more power than 1 person should morally have in a democracy.

    • @aNytmare
      @aNytmare 8 років тому +1

      So this 'could be' the first step to remove the checks and balances in place to stop 1 person to aquire too much power. And while it could look like a desirable step in the right direction, it could also be the first step away from democracy. So maybe the GOP and Trump camouflaged this step away from demoracy towards a government controlled more by an elite or even a single person as a step towards a desireable direction. Hence the thunderous applause for the death of liberty.
      (I don't know the future or the plans of the GOP or Trump, I am just saying that the obvious might be a subterfuge and it can never hurt to try to sneak a peak beyond the curtains)

  • @notyouraverageharleyquinnstan
    @notyouraverageharleyquinnstan 8 років тому +1

    Those cards are hilarious lol😂

  • @BellaWorldAni
    @BellaWorldAni 8 років тому +3

    LOVE! Oh my God, I LOVE YOU, Stephen! I missed you while you were on vacation. :) So good to hear someone who is SANE. Thank you!

  • @kolleo13
    @kolleo13 8 років тому +8

    the best 11 minutes of my day so far great video . how is this being allowed to happen astounds me. this is going to be fun

  • @xxspicygurlxx
    @xxspicygurlxx 8 років тому +3

    This is why I hate the electoral college.

  • @Timodeus44
    @Timodeus44 7 років тому +2

    Trump's face when Don King interrupted him was priceless.

  • @DC9848
    @DC9848 8 років тому +1

    Mr. Colbert you were on fire on that night!

  • @SoCloseToToast
    @SoCloseToToast 8 років тому +32

    I still don't understand why anybody in the comments gets offended by anything this show says. Its all jokes at the end of the day and nobody in the comments are actually gunna do anything. Its just sports talk.

    • @Lionheart1188
      @Lionheart1188 8 років тому +2

      Not jokes, it's societal conditioning via comedy

    • @BaldMancTwat
      @BaldMancTwat 8 років тому +1

      Yeah, it's obviously just the media trying to push their agenda. Btw, I used to watch you when I was younger, Toast. :)

    • @BobJones-jp8wk
      @BobJones-jp8wk 7 років тому

      Sports talk is that like locker room talk?

    • @KingLeBronTv
      @KingLeBronTv 6 років тому +2

      The crazy part is everything said about Trump is true. Even when people are joking about it. Trump is a fucking idiot smh

  • @makimamagica2000
    @makimamagica2000 8 років тому +4

    As always, every time they ask DJT to elaborate his answer is the same, "Stay tuned. Tell you later. Etc." Just like a child.

  • @agentK1896
    @agentK1896 8 років тому +3

    That was brutal.

  • @harveydhindsa1578
    @harveydhindsa1578 8 років тому +2

    Every tweet is different, every war is the same...It gets into your head because it is not natural. Waiting, fighting, tweeting... one of 'em is already enough to break anyone.

  • @DenziCs
    @DenziCs 7 років тому +3

    Looking back at this, that second greeting card really IS based on a true story now...

  • @Asoka-great
    @Asoka-great 8 років тому +53

    Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride....Just Fasten Your Seat-Belts, might be little Rough..

    • @drphil36
      @drphil36 8 років тому +4

      And ugly, ugly from the first day of office.

    • @idontknowwhatimdoing4632
      @idontknowwhatimdoing4632 8 років тому +2

      I'd watch yourself until March 16th. Tis when we hit the Debt Ceiling. If we default all hell could break lose.

    • @schin9307
      @schin9307 8 років тому

      Wouldn't be the first time lul. You guys lived thru it :D

    • @drphil36
      @drphil36 8 років тому +1

      Sheralyn Chin True but give me any republican but Trump or Pence, they will destroy so much, maybe even the world.

    • @schin9307
      @schin9307 8 років тому

      Philip de Ficquelmont *Chews popcorn from South East Asia as 16 March approaches. Lul.

  • @benedictcross1864
    @benedictcross1864 8 років тому +4

    I remember seeing that stupid 'Love!' tweet and wondering how on earth someone could take the mick out of themselves that badly while being totally serious about it. Hilarious to see it in a comedy show!

  • @KRex1961
    @KRex1961 8 років тому +3

    There's nothing you can know that isn't known
    Nothing you can see that isn't shown
    There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
    It's easy
    All you need is love
    All you need is love
    All you need is love, love
    Love is all you need

  • @valeriefaabergpitel7356
    @valeriefaabergpitel7356 6 років тому +2

    AWESOME! Keep the laughs coming Stephen!

  • @Broockle
    @Broockle 8 років тому +1

    "He needs time to digest the information before he yanks it out of his Ass"
    I'm dieing xD

  • @jaytranscendencemodder1280
    @jaytranscendencemodder1280 8 років тому +6

    Please, if those cards are not already real, someone make them. PLEASE I NEED THEM

    • @avimittal6914
      @avimittal6914 8 років тому +5

      To tell your daughter that she's hot?

  • @wulfsaga2
    @wulfsaga2 8 років тому +29

    HAPPY NEW YEAR COLDBERT!

  • @CarlosEmilioEsq
    @CarlosEmilioEsq 8 років тому +9

    "And I also know things that other people don't know."
    Jesus, if someone said that to me in a conversation in the real world, I probably couldn't even keep a straight face. This guy talks like a teenager trying to get out of a jam he already knows he can't get out of. But he's gonna give it a try anyway, why not?

  • @sethwoodhouse4797
    @sethwoodhouse4797 8 років тому +2

    Good to have you back Stephen

  • @delibertatem4922
    @delibertatem4922 8 років тому +2

    Thank god Stephen is back!!!!! Love!

  • @RonWinter335
    @RonWinter335 8 років тому +4

    Anytime someone rips on Donald Trump, an angel gets their wings. Love!

  • @Faeriedarke
    @Faeriedarke 8 років тому +13

    ♥ I adore this show ♥ Thanks for making me laugh, your acerbic wit is the best.

  • @Looserkid13
    @Looserkid13 8 років тому +3

    These guys gotta win best writing. Hilarious stuff.

  • @badireitz1789
    @badireitz1789 7 років тому +1

    I keep watching this, for the first 0.48 seconds. His sincerity, beautiful.

  • @sandramarylu3063
    @sandramarylu3063 8 років тому +1

    STEVE SO GLAD YOU COME BACK, REALLY MISSED YOU.

  • @eshevin
    @eshevin 8 років тому +3

    Think of how important punctuation is. "Trump Tweets Tough, But He's Got nothing On. Jesus!!"

  • @geogmz8277
    @geogmz8277 8 років тому +4

    "I know stuff about hacking" oh wow! Anonymous you're in troubles.

  • @therealkbrackson
    @therealkbrackson 8 років тому +6

    you got oprah? damnnnnn colbertdawggg! you go!

  • @Hockeyfan9884
    @Hockeyfan9884 8 років тому +2

    I WILL FOREVER LIKE STEPHEN ESPECIALLY WITH REGARDS TO HOW HE PRESENTS TRUMP AS AN IDIOT IN TRUE FASHION. KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK STEPHEN, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB MAN. HAPPY NEW YEARS.

  • @moif
    @moif 6 років тому +1

    The cards were the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thumbs up.

  • @thetruthfulchannel6348
    @thetruthfulchannel6348 8 років тому +8

    So, anonymous tips don't count, but anonymous votes do? Nice hypocrisy. How is it even constitutional for congress to vote anonymously?

  • @darthtooth1016
    @darthtooth1016 8 років тому +3

    If manhattans called "the big apple". Does that make Trump tower "the big orange?"

  • @hammadali594
    @hammadali594 8 років тому +20

    The new amendment that Trump looks like he will pass is to make Twitter's character limit from 140 to 1400.

    • @Marathonracer
      @Marathonracer 8 років тому +1

      +Hammad Ali If that twittering twat increases Twitter's character limit to 1400, he won't be able to understand what he's supposed to be twittering about. Then he'll need a special "Twitter Translator". That's when the real fun begins !

    • @TheArtemis07
      @TheArtemis07 8 років тому +2

      Hammad Ali I don't think he can handle writing something that long.

    • @brandongray7744
      @brandongray7744 6 років тому

      He doesn't have that much stamina. It would take him an hour to send one tweet. He would also have to get every tweet approved by putin.

  • @cmilla111
    @cmilla111 8 років тому +2

    "I know things people other people dont know."?!
    If you heard a stranger say this in Starbucks you'd probably laugh out loud. If a friend said it you would ridicule them. But it is somehow tolerated for the soon to be most powerful person on the planet.
    But seriously people; LOVE!

  • @EliteEarnings01
    @EliteEarnings01 8 років тому +2

    that last part had me dead 💀💀💀

  • @InnocentDoodles
    @InnocentDoodles 8 років тому +8

    Oh come on, We all know the real phrase is "If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget." It's not that hard to remember!

    • @shadowabsol
      @shadowabsol 8 років тому +2

      InnocentDoodles AAAAAHAHA! YES!
      I wonder what Donald trump would do to the dog park...

  • @xavierthorn4652
    @xavierthorn4652 8 років тому +184

    If you voted against Hillary, that's fine, but if you actually voted FOR Trump, you are what's wrong with this country.

    • @RussianSCUD
      @RussianSCUD 8 років тому

      Elaborate.

    • @Snipergoat1
      @Snipergoat1 8 років тому +5

      Your opinion means nothing Xavior. Enjoy 8 years of the God-Emperor reaming you. Signed, yet another deplorable.

    • @maggyurena4425
      @maggyurena4425 8 років тому +2

      God-Emperor just like Nero the Zero, lolol

    • @Snipergoat1
      @Snipergoat1 8 років тому +3

      Maggy Urena
      He hasn't even taken the oath of office yet and he is already a more effective leader than Barry O ever was. And yes, I will use the term God-Emperor so long as it spins up assholes.

    • @jamesroby1948
      @jamesroby1948 8 років тому +5

      who signs a youtube comment?

  • @robertanderson7324
    @robertanderson7324 8 років тому +10

    Rolling in the new year with your amazing show! Love it, Stephen! Keep up the good work and the good show. :) Happy New Year Everyone! 🎆🎈

  • @catharinesloper8504
    @catharinesloper8504 8 років тому +1

    Attorney's also are allowed to investigate themselves--equally stupid.

  • @apicalmaristem
    @apicalmaristem 8 років тому +2

    Thank God Stephen is back!

  • @edrienekyle9535
    @edrienekyle9535 8 років тому +6

    Loveeeeeee! Everywhere on 2017!!!!

  • @aohige
    @aohige 8 років тому +8

    I despise Trump as much anyone, but credit is due where credit is due. Stopping the GOP from destroying the Ethics commission was a very good move.

    • @johsmith2481
      @johsmith2481 8 років тому +7

      aohige It was the OBVIOUS thing to do. We can't start giving the man credit for an act that literally any person would have done as well. Will we give credit to Donald Trump if he chooses to start attending all the intelligence briefings now too?

    • @aohige
      @aohige 8 років тому +6

      Joh Smith But that sounds exactly like the Obama-haters' excuses whenever he does anything sensible in the past eight years.
      We need to be better.

    • @johsmith2481
      @johsmith2481 8 років тому +1

      aohige Bah, I want to be bitter and immature though, blame Trump for every single bad thing while he's in office, like Republicans did with Obama. I know, you're right in the end though.

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp 8 років тому +3

      I'll give credit where credit is due but even a broken clock is correct twice. There's still a lot to hate about him.

    • @ikendusnietjij2
      @ikendusnietjij2 8 років тому +1

      Question: Did Trump tweet about the Ethics commission thing after the media widely condemned the GOP about it? Or before.
      Since if before that'd be actually good, if after that'd not deserve much credit, he'd just be saving face then.

  • @Issacas1166
    @Issacas1166 8 років тому +3

    This show! "I Love" ❤️ 😂😂😂😂

  • @nathanhuff9606
    @nathanhuff9606 8 років тому +2

    Legitimately heartwarming moment at the beginning!

  • @agriperma
    @agriperma 8 років тому +2

    "He needs time to digest the information, before he yanks it out of his ass" Now that's how you end a monologue !