*I have just started an online community called Soul Vitamins where you can access all of my courses, books, and videos for a low monthly price. Check it out at **bit.ly/soulvitamins1*
Love this conversation, seeing INFJ from a non-INFJ's eyes. INFJ will not trust you like them without knowing who they truly are, vulnerability included. if you still like them even if they show you their real selves, chances are you, you will see a more stable side of them. they want to see if you can handle the high standard they uphold but also the emotional roller coaster that they struggle with. INFJ has integrity (not playing) but it takes a long time for them to open up or trust you or allow you to be a part of their lives.
That's exactly it. If my emotional roller coaster overwhelms me, how is someone else going to react? I've been working on trusting myself more though and I'm starting to enjoy my roller coaster (sometimes). My ENTJ friend is one of the only people I know who never finds my emotions overwhelming and enjoys being with me no matter what my mental state is. We understand each other's need for space because we both love being alone and pursuing independent interests. He's pretty perplexed by my emotions most of the time but they're confusing to me too. Just having someone listen without judgment is such a relief.
I rewatched this today, INFJ needs to be comfortable talking about feelings, just share feelings more and more depth, it gets him to open up. INFJ fears rejection, betrayal, abandonment, so he wants to be perfect but he can't and may fall short of your expectation, then he feels bothered, overthinking kicks in, he's overwhelmed then wants to shut down. Tell him it's ok to talk or write you letters to share something he never usually shares. Transparency is impt.
Thank you, Boom, for everything you are doing! I am an ENFJ who has been building a relationship with an INFJ over the past three months. I have been researching like crazy to be as understanding as I can be, and that has helped. Your videos have been a treasure trove, and it has helped to lift this weight off of my shoulders. It is one thing to read about the "surface level", but you help to connect the dots in a beautiful way. This is helping me to see and understand him, and to help him know that I accept him as he is. I have always been a patient person, but now I have a better understanding that allows me to really apply that patience in a loving and respectful way that builds him up and not tear him down. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Loved this! This was so much fun! I apologize for the constant giggling. You really have to have a sense of humor. Boo is as entertaining as he is frustrating and I even laugh about my frustrations.
@jamilla perry This was such a great listen, thank you for sharing so openly and insightfully Jamila!! I (an ENFP) date an INFJ male too, and I both understand and admire your patience looool! I noticed you said that you often check in with your friends to "decode" why Boo does what he does when you are confused and frustrated, and I was wondering if there's a reason why you don't speak directly to Boo about it? Have you had experience that it isn't the best way? I ask because I find myself in the same predicament - at times Very confused about what my INFJ partner is doing/not doing, but somehow unable to understand directly from him and having to instead do a TON of research or speak to other INFJ friends. It gets a bit exhausting and time consuming after awhile! And I had wondered if this was healthy.
@@candicepoppylee At that time (and I'm not sure if I explained it in this video), I realized that if I asked "why are you doing that" directly, it was met with a bit of anxiety. I found that, sometimes, he just didn't have an answer and then would become self-conscious. I'm a person that can be super observant at times, so I just learned to redirect my energy to get answers to "simple" questions from other sources...particularly if it was a temporary frustration (i.e. "Why is he being so weird?!?"). However, if it was something I felt would have true impact if I didn't have the right information, then I would ask him directly.
Boom Shikha…I just discovered your channel a few months ago. As an INFJ, I really enjoy listening to your videos and can relate to so much of it. I’ve watched several of the videos with you and Jamila together at this point and I love listening to y’all’s discussions together. I laugh so much listening to you guys. Between you being an INFJ and Jamila in a relationship with an INFJ, it’s great stuff 😂
This is so interesting and helpful. I'm an INFJ myself and I really appreciate you two doing this. Jamila, thank you for opening up about your relationship so we can learn from it!
@@BoomShikha :-)) btw your website looks good. However, I didn't quite understand how it relates to Soul Vitamins? Maybe you could put something up there, too concerning this :-)
Omg this was very engaging, humorous and enlightening! Your questions and added insights were spot on and l loved it,. Jamilla was definitely a perfect person to observe and share about her experiences with an lNFJ, l hope you have her back on because l’m sure we would all love to get updates on her continued relationship with her INFJ BOO THANG!
INTJ and INFJ both figure out patterns and data.. except INTJ is linear and methodical; literally 1-10 and in that exact order.. and the INFJ is both myopic and big picture at once; will jump from 1 to the end goal 10 and fill in 2-9 in whatever sequence works best in the social dynamic and when. /:)
Yes! I fully acknowledge that I have to do things in a certain order Which certainly makes me a bit more predictable. To me, he is unpredictable because I never know what step he’s on! LOL
@@BoomShikha IKR 😂 I only realized that after working with fellow technicians and comparing the way I problem solve compared to them. They began at what is the first step to a solution, or the first thing to eliminate as the problem, and I always started at what is my desired objective. 🤷🏼♀️ made the last first 😂😂
@@jamilaperry4205 That's one thing I love about the INTJ mind, understanding introverted intuition but using it in such a well organized and systematic manner, my INTJ coworkers tend to be the only ones I trust to bounce off methods and practice with since they think things through with intense depth to fully understand them.
@@sojourneroftheland You’re right! Emotionally I am low key. I’ve had to learn how to be more expressive, but I’m not a pro at it. Boo is pretty good at noting my emotions even if I’m keeping them inside.
Very insightful. And it's funny to see how other view is infj. I tried dating one online and yes it takes a lot of patience..... I'm still trying.....she worth it 💥
That was fun! Jamila, you a definitely unique! My middle daughter is a INTJ 'Mastermind' too, and she's one of the sharpest people I know! It was great hearing your perspective on your interactions with Boo as another IN type. Aren't we the quirky beasts though? INFJ males even more so I can testify. I can only imagine what it's like adding the Black perspective into this! 'Frustrating' is something I've also heard frequently, and patience isn't often forthcoming. We hardly ever 'color within the lines' of the 'normal' response people expect when interacting with us!
I gave up on NORMAL a long time ago. 🤣🤣 Color outside the lines? Ha! INFJs aren’t even coloring! You’re in a corner somewhere learning to do a handstand! 🤣🤣
@@jamilaperry4205 Through The Looking Glass 🌀 We create our own lines & then teach others how to colour outside them 📖✏ . What better way to begin to understand us? Afterall, to know us is to love us 😍💓💞 To love us is to know us 😘
@@jamilaperry4205⚠ You never know when & where I'll strike next 🌏⌚❓ it's great to finally put a face & voice to someone I've been conversing with. VERY rare. I look forward to eventually "meeting" INFJ 🎃 Don't worry about your giggling, it ads life & authenticity to your words that's sorely missing elsewhere. Funny & refreshing ☁⛅☀💨😅 I love how you refer to your INFJ encounters as a "strangeness" in an otherwise normal & organized life . I've been called a LOT worse things in my life than "strange". On behalf of all INFJ's, I accept your complement 🙌 🌌🔭
*I have just started an online community called Soul Vitamins where you can access all of my courses, books, and videos for a low monthly price. Check it out at **bit.ly/soulvitamins1*
💁🎥 I think this is going to become one of your top best vids. so far 📡📺👀😘
🌌🔭
All due to Jamila! ❤️❤️
Love this conversation, seeing INFJ from a non-INFJ's eyes. INFJ will not trust you like them without knowing who they truly are, vulnerability included. if you still like them even if they show you their real selves, chances are you, you will see a more stable side of them. they want to see if you can handle the high standard they uphold but also the emotional roller coaster that they struggle with. INFJ has integrity (not playing) but it takes a long time for them to open up or trust you or allow you to be a part of their lives.
Yes! And I do hope that Boom and I can discuss the “trust tests” I’ve encountered along the way.
That's exactly it. If my emotional roller coaster overwhelms me, how is someone else going to react? I've been working on trusting myself more though and I'm starting to enjoy my roller coaster (sometimes). My ENTJ friend is one of the only people I know who never finds my emotions overwhelming and enjoys being with me no matter what my mental state is. We understand each other's need for space because we both love being alone and pursuing independent interests. He's pretty perplexed by my emotions most of the time but they're confusing to me too. Just having someone listen without judgment is such a relief.
Awww, I love you all!! xx
I rewatched this today, INFJ needs to be comfortable talking about feelings, just share feelings more and more depth, it gets him to open up. INFJ fears rejection, betrayal, abandonment, so he wants to be perfect but he can't and may fall short of your expectation, then he feels bothered, overthinking kicks in, he's overwhelmed then wants to shut down. Tell him it's ok to talk or write you letters to share something he never usually shares. Transparency is impt.
Thank you, Boom, for everything you are doing! I am an ENFJ who has been building a relationship with an INFJ over the past three months. I have been researching like crazy to be as understanding as I can be, and that has helped. Your videos have been a treasure trove, and it has helped to lift this weight off of my shoulders. It is one thing to read about the "surface level", but you help to connect the dots in a beautiful way. This is helping me to see and understand him, and to help him know that I accept him as he is. I have always been a patient person, but now I have a better understanding that allows me to really apply that patience in a loving and respectful way that builds him up and not tear him down. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Awww, I'm soooo happy my videos helped. :)
Loved this! This was so much fun! I apologize for the constant giggling. You really have to have a sense of humor. Boo is as entertaining as he is frustrating and I even laugh about my frustrations.
It was sooo hilarious... You have such great energy!
Yes, it was an awesome chat. I had so much fun. :)
THANK YOU for sharing your journey! I have watched both videos and your story has helped me so much in these last few weeks.
@jamilla perry
This was such a great listen, thank you for sharing so openly and insightfully Jamila!! I (an ENFP) date an INFJ male too, and I both understand and admire your patience looool!
I noticed you said that you often check in with your friends to "decode" why Boo does what he does when you are confused and frustrated, and I was wondering if there's a reason why you don't speak directly to Boo about it? Have you had experience that it isn't the best way?
I ask because I find myself in the same predicament - at times Very confused about what my INFJ partner is doing/not doing, but somehow unable to understand directly from him and having to instead do a TON of research or speak to other INFJ friends. It gets a bit exhausting and time consuming after awhile! And I had wondered if this was healthy.
@@candicepoppylee At that time (and I'm not sure if I explained it in this video), I realized that if I asked "why are you doing that" directly, it was met with a bit of anxiety. I found that, sometimes, he just didn't have an answer and then would become self-conscious. I'm a person that can be super observant at times, so I just learned to redirect my energy to get answers to "simple" questions from other sources...particularly if it was a temporary frustration (i.e. "Why is he being so weird?!?"). However, if it was something I felt would have true impact if I didn't have the right information, then I would ask him directly.
Boom Shikha…I just discovered your channel a few months ago. As an INFJ, I really enjoy listening to your videos and can relate to so much of it. I’ve watched several of the videos with you and Jamila together at this point and I love listening to y’all’s discussions together. I laugh so much listening to you guys. Between you being an INFJ and Jamila in a relationship with an INFJ, it’s great stuff 😂
Wonderful! So happy to hear that. :)
This is so interesting and helpful. I'm an INFJ myself and I really appreciate you two doing this. Jamila, thank you for opening up about your relationship so we can learn from it!
You’re very welcome! It has been a learning experience for me as well! I truly appreciate Boo! He is my mirror.
@@jamilaperry4205 That's awesome. Wish you the best for your relationship :-)
Thanks for watching, Karen. :)
@@BoomShikha :-)) btw your website looks good. However, I didn't quite understand how it relates to Soul Vitamins? Maybe you could put something up there, too concerning this :-)
Put where? On my website about soul vitamins?
Omg this was very engaging, humorous and enlightening! Your questions and added insights were spot on and l loved it,. Jamilla was definitely a perfect person to observe and share about her experiences with an lNFJ, l hope you have her back on because l’m sure we would all love to get updates on her continued relationship with her INFJ BOO THANG!
Thank you! 😊 He is a trip! I don’t think I’ll run out of stories! 😂
Yes!!! I really enjoyed the interview as well. :)
I loved this conversation, Jamila seems very nice! It was sweet and cute :) Thanks.
Thank you!
Yes, it was awesome. :)
22:36 your INFJ stare 🥰
Hehehhehe. It was unintentional. :)
@@BoomShikha I love it.. I have that stare also because when people are talking to me I can see what they are saying
thanks boom and jamila really awesome conversation
You are so welcome. :)
INTJ and INFJ both figure out patterns and data.. except INTJ is linear and methodical; literally 1-10 and in that exact order.. and the INFJ is both myopic and big picture at once; will jump from 1 to the end goal 10 and fill in 2-9 in whatever sequence works best in the social dynamic and when. /:)
Yes! I fully acknowledge that I have to do things in a certain order Which certainly makes me a bit more predictable. To me, he is unpredictable because I never know what step he’s on! LOL
YESSSS!!! Very well deduced, Rebecca. :)
@@BoomShikha IKR 😂 I only realized that after working with fellow technicians and comparing the way I problem solve compared to them. They began at what is the first step to a solution, or the first thing to eliminate as the problem, and I always started at what is my desired objective. 🤷🏼♀️ made the last first 😂😂
@@jamilaperry4205 That's one thing I love about the INTJ mind, understanding introverted intuition but using it in such a well organized and systematic manner, my INTJ coworkers tend to be the only ones I trust to bounce off methods and practice with since they think things through with intense depth to fully understand them.
@@sojourneroftheland You’re right! Emotionally I am low key. I’ve had to learn how to be more expressive, but I’m not a pro at it. Boo is pretty good at noting my emotions even if I’m keeping them inside.
Loved your interview Jamila , great fun
Yes!!! :)
Hahaha what a great exchange! Makes me feel guilty for my INFJ awkwardness.
Hehehe. :)
Very insightful. And it's funny to see how other view is infj. I tried dating one online and yes it takes a lot of patience..... I'm still trying.....she worth it 💥
Thanks for watching. :)
LOVE this! Laughed so hard! Thanks for sharing your story, Jamila.
You’re welcome! I’ll try harder to be serious next time… But I make no promises! 🤣🤣
@@jamilaperry4205 Don't worry, it's one of those ones where if you don't laugh, you'll cry. We are so frustrating/confusing that we HAVE to laugh!
Exactly. :) Laugh or cry. :P
Boom laughter is EVERYTHING
Agreed. :)
That was fun! Jamila, you a definitely unique! My middle daughter is a INTJ 'Mastermind' too, and she's one of the sharpest people I know! It was great hearing your perspective on your interactions with Boo as another IN type. Aren't we the quirky beasts though? INFJ males even more so I can testify. I can only imagine what it's like adding the Black perspective into this! 'Frustrating' is something I've also heard frequently, and patience isn't often forthcoming. We hardly ever 'color within the lines' of the 'normal' response people expect when interacting with us!
I gave up on NORMAL a long time ago. 🤣🤣 Color outside the lines? Ha! INFJs aren’t even coloring! You’re in a corner somewhere learning to do a handstand! 🤣🤣
@@jamilaperry4205 Most true!
Hehehehe. :)
@@jamilaperry4205 Through The Looking Glass 🌀
We create our own lines & then teach others how to colour outside them 📖✏ .
What better way to begin to understand us?
Afterall, to know us is to love us 😍💓💞 To love us is to know us 😘
@@scottmcintosh4397 He’s army. Are you done throwing up? Need some ginger ale and crackers? 🤣🤣
Jamila allow him to gift you dont block yourself... he wants to because when he pleases you it makes him feel good. I love your energy.
Thank you! Yes I’m learning how to be a better receiver.
Thank you for sharing!! :)
10:55 Could say I'm like an Almond Joy😅 🤔...but this may not work well if someone doesn't get the reference 😒.
🤣🤣🤣 Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.
@@jamilaperry4205 😂😂😂
Bahaahha. :)
Honestly sounds like my dynamic with an INTP! As an INFJ female.
Fascinating!! :)
🌰 "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."
🌎 From the "INFJ side of the planet" 🌎😅
🌌🔭
Scott! I was wondering when you were going to comment!
Hehehehe. :)
@@jamilaperry4205⚠ You never know when & where I'll strike next 🌏⌚❓
it's great to finally put a face & voice to someone I've been conversing with. VERY rare. I look forward to eventually "meeting" INFJ 🎃
Don't worry about your giggling, it ads life & authenticity to your words that's sorely missing elsewhere. Funny & refreshing
☁⛅☀💨😅
I love how you refer to your INFJ encounters as a "strangeness" in an otherwise normal & organized life . I've been called a LOT worse things in my life than "strange". On behalf of all INFJ's, I accept your complement 🙌
🌌🔭
Love this.. thank you for asking about how she keeps attracting INFJ..I was just about to ask. Thank you Boom
Glad it was helpful! :)
❤
Thanks for watching. :)