"I struggle with OCD, and I struggle with Resting in the Truth!"

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  • Опубліковано 23 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 48

  • @SonoftheKing316
    @SonoftheKing316 День тому +20

    Thank you for your reply brother Jesse, I didn't expect a video reply. My earliest recollection of Believing in Jesus Christ as my Savior was childhood anywhere between 5-8yrs old (Im 30 now), but it was only 4 years ago that really took a deep dive and started taking my faith seriously and not long after, that's when everything hit the fan. I'm so so much better than I was 4yrs ago and that's all thanks to God through Jesus Christ. I'm miles and miles ahead of where I was I'm just not where I want to be yet and that's ok. And if OCD is the thorn in my side then I Know His Grace is sufficient. Since that email, Resting has been a little more easier. Somedays are easier than others but it's much more consistent than it was. I do cast the thoughts the down and bring them to the obedience of Christ that's been a practice of mine for quite awhile lol. If it's Not in line with His word then out the window it goes. I really do thank you for your reply and making a video out of it too ❤ -Daniel

    • @LookinUp_
      @LookinUp_ День тому +3

      Hi Daniel, I do not have OCD, but I want to share a tip that I was given a while back when I was struggling with doubt.
      It's simple but it's helped. First thing when you have doubts is to sort of take that thought captive and ask yourself "what is the lie?".
      Then find the scripture in God's word that corrects it, memorize it and say it to yourself as often as you need it.
      "I feel like He's done with me"
      This is a lie, because:
      Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee; He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
      Suit up with the armor of God and cut those lies down with your sword of the Spirit! 💖
      Ephesians 6:10-18

    • @noahcole6856
      @noahcole6856 День тому +2

      Hi, I have ocd as well and I would say used to have religious ocd. Though for me it has subsided. For a long time I wanted someone to talk to about religious ocd because most of the time the only people who who understand it were those who suffered through it. I have some good resources for it too, mark dejesus talks about religious ocd here on UA-cam, though he isn’t perfect, he can help with ocd.

    • @SonoftheKing316
      @SonoftheKing316 День тому

      @@Jesuslordoflords-y4m I despise sin it sucks I hate it. I turn from the works of the flesh to the best of my ability but Turning/Repentance from sin is Works (Jonah 3:10) it is a good thing and as God's Children we should definitely strive to do that but I don't Trust it. Because it is Works it cannot and will not Save. If it involves my performance and my behavior then it is Imperfect and it is my own righteousness which is as filthy wrags. God's standard is Perfection and that Perfection is only available in the Righteousness of Christ which only Obtained by Faith in Jesus Christ. (Philippians 3:9) I'm on my way to Heaven because of the Righteousness of Jesus Christ imputed on me it's Him and Him alone.

    • @freyaaldrnari6086
      @freyaaldrnari6086 13 годин тому

      I got ocd after covìd. I'm on prednisone pulses now. Changed my life.

    • @freyaaldrnari6086
      @freyaaldrnari6086 13 годин тому

      If this is relatively new for you.. look up viral neuro psychiatric conditions. It has taken 4 years for me to get a diagnosis. It's called PANDAS. Most common in children... can happen in adults. Prednisone is making me well

  • @mcreycm
    @mcreycm 19 годин тому +2

    Praise God.

  • @travishanson166
    @travishanson166 День тому +5

    Jesse I just want to say I love you. We often forget about the burden you have to nurture your own congregation let alone your congregation from all parts of the world. We often forget that preachers and teachers are human too. I understand how overwhelmed you can get. I praise you Jesse Martinez and I pray for comfort for you and Kyla and your children. And I thank you for your ministry and drawing me Closer the Christ.

    • @GS-mh6ub
      @GS-mh6ub 23 години тому +1

      Amen‼️🙏🏽

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  17 годин тому

      That’s so very kind of you. God Bless you!
      - Trent

  • @Ajnarrowpathdigital
    @Ajnarrowpathdigital День тому +9

    Amen bro thank you for this. I struggle with religious ocd also. I know im saved but hearing you say the peace and confidence goes because you have a sin nature makes me feel some what more human and not a weirdo 😂 God bless this ministry

    • @wtom04
      @wtom04 День тому

      @Ajnarrowpathdigital I am a believer and have suffered from thought based OCD since childhood. In the past, I've seen psychiatrists and psychologists, both secular and Christian and have taken meds, prayed about it, but to no avail. OCD is a doubting disease of the mind and I can attest to the fact that many Christians are very susceptible and can fall prey to the 2 false doctrines of Calvinism/Lordship Salvation and Arminian/Lordship Salvation as their false teachings will no doubt create DOUBT, fear, anxiety, and erosion of assurance of one's salvation.
      The most commonly abused passages in the Bible that Calvinists, Arminians, and all works based false teachers will use by taking these passages out of context and use in isolation are Matthew 25:14-30, Luke 8:6-7/Luke 8:13-14, Luke 12:42-46, John 15:2,6, 1 Corinthians 9:27, 2 Corinthians 13:5, Philippians 2:12, Revelation 3:5, etc, etc. It's best to read and study these passages in the right context from a Free Grace perspective. False doctrine will NEVER interpret these passages in the right context. In fact, many false teachers will even go as far as using the Greek and Hebrew in their twisted eisegesis of these passages and will also no doubt use their "Th.M" and "Th.D" degrees in "theology" to push their false doctrine more intelligently.
      Saved Christians who suffer from OCD need to deal with this in a cognitive way by seeking psychotherapy and meds. Of course, everyone is different where some will respond well to treatment, but others will not.

  • @ChristisLord99
    @ChristisLord99 5 годин тому

    Only coming to be saved last August through one of Ono's videos whilst being under ROYS to be saved for most of last year, this is something I still struggle with myself. I find myself praying or mediating on 2 Corinthians 10:5, and Romans 8:1 and 8:39. Something that helps me is accepting what God's word says, and not letting my thoughts or feelings condemn me but rather see what God has to say about me through His word. We are a new creation, we are dead to our sins, we are not justified by our flesh. The ROYS trauma is real, even after knowing the truth, so stand strong to anyone who suffers with this. God knows you, loves you and has sealed you until the day of redemption.

  • @paulvanderveen4309
    @paulvanderveen4309 20 годин тому +1

    Thank you for this sermon!!!! I appreciate all that you do! I struggle with intrusive thoughts and I feel like I needed this.

  • @wtom04
    @wtom04 День тому +5

    I am a believer and have suffered from thought based OCD since childhood. In the past, I've seen psychiatrists and psychologists, both secular and Christian and have taken meds, prayed about it, but to no avail. OCD is a doubting disease of the mind and I can attest to the fact that many Christians are very susceptible and can fall prey to the 2 false doctrines of Calvinism/Lordship Salvation and Arminian/Lordship Salvation as their false teachings will no doubt create DOUBT, fear, anxiety, and erosion of assurance of one's salvation.
    The most commonly abused passages in the Bible that Calvinists, Arminians, and all works based false teachers will use by taking these passages out of context and use in isolation are Matthew 25:14-30, Luke 8:6-7/Luke 8:13-14, Luke 12:42-46, John 15:2,6, 1 Corinthians 9:27, 2 Corinthians 13:5, Philippians 2:12, Revelation 3:5, etc, etc.
    Saved Christians who suffer from OCD need to deal with this in a cognitive way by seeking psychotherapy and meds. Of course, everyone is different where some will respond well to treatment, but others will not.

  • @Alan-w9h
    @Alan-w9h День тому +3

    Thank you Pastor Jesse Romans 4 5 KJV

  • @NYCNY92
    @NYCNY92 День тому +2

    This is for me! It seems like I wrote that message wow! The wavering keeps me in a depleted state! I know what Christ said but the world confuses me. I trust that I’m saved because I truly believe love worship and I’m grateful for what Christ did but man and today’s Christian society continues to try and damn everyone to hell! Even those who have belived smh

  • @justmyopinion628
    @justmyopinion628 День тому +3

    I am starting to understand how Job felt right now.

  • @SVU777
    @SVU777 День тому +4

    I struggle with this all the time than you so much for making this video man!!!!

  • @davidz6490
    @davidz6490 9 годин тому

    Hi. Pastor Jesse! I guess 2 Corinthians 12:9 is the verse for me. I have come down with an autoimmune disease that is called vasculitis where it causes inflammation in my veins. I am in ICU for 12 nights so far. I am making good progress and treatments are going in right direction. At first I didn't know if I was going to make it. I know I belong to the Lord, but was scared to leave my wife behind. I know it must be s reason God has allowed this to happen to me. I guess I needed to be humbled and brought to rock bottom so he can rebuild me! Thank-you for your ministry, and I would greatly appreciate your prayers from you and your church and everyone on this channel. I love you Pastor Jesse!

  • @Seshca-r4c
    @Seshca-r4c День тому +2

    Just found your channel and I really needed to hear this Godbless ❤

  • @catmeowpurr
    @catmeowpurr 7 годин тому

    Yes, I have had religious OCD too, I have had fear of the "unpardonable sin". I now understand that this unpardonable sin is not possible in the Church Age, but some sources don't explain this.
    In addition, factors that can contribute to OCD include:
    1. Understanding that the consequence of not being saved is actually being in a real place of torment. Some sources teach that Hell is "separation from God" or even just losing consciousness forever, so some may believe it's not really a big deal. But when you study the scripture, it does explain that those not saved can only go to the place prepared for the Devil and his angels.
    2. Realizing that we are at the end of the Church Age and the Rapture is near. The prophesy is that after the Jews rejected Jesus as their messiah, He would turn to the Gentiles for 2,000 years, then rapture the Church and return to deal with the Jews. And we are at about that 2,000 year point now; prophesied world events are now happening. Many sources don't understand or explain the Rapture, don't explain how urgent the situation is.
    OCD is a medical condition where your brain does not process objective information correctly. So, yes, the same Bible that teaches items 1 and 2 above also teaches "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: It is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9).
    Then you can question what "Faith" is. Some sources, actually most, teach that you must do good thing(s) and/or refrain from doing bad thing(s) to have "faith". But no, if it's something you can boast about, in either in a positive or negative sense, it's not Faith, this is counterintuitive to most people.
    But if you believe the Gospel at one moment in time, you become sealed at that point, Ephesians 1:13. This Sealing provides "insurance" that if you are ever deceived or confused by other doctrines you remain saved.
    Also note Acts 10, the conversion of Cornelius, the first Gentile of the Church Age; Acts 10:43-44, Peter mentions that believing is equivalent to remission of sins, then Cornelius and friends were immediately saved. Peter did not mention that they needed to stop any sin(s). Even the work of water baptism was not required because they were already saved (verse 47).
    But yes, even knowing this, OCD can cause you to be afraid. But God won't hold any medical condition against you.

  • @Freegracecentral
    @Freegracecentral День тому +5

    What does the Bible teach about tithing? is the 10% mandatory?

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  День тому +11

      That was a fast comment! Lol!
      The New Testament “command” is to be a cheerful giver. There is no strict 10% as was in the law, but many just use 10% as a guide. You should give without begrudging or despising the idea. Otherwise, don’t give. God expects us to give in more ways than monetarily also! Some may have to give money, but others may have to give work, talents and help in various ways.
      - Trent

    • @theouterplanet
      @theouterplanet День тому +7

      I suffer from ocd. All my life. It is a beast of a mental illness.

  • @darkdesertgoose2112
    @darkdesertgoose2112 18 годин тому +1

    Jesse, I believe in the Christian gospel namely OSAS. One problem that has bothered me since I was pretty young is, the devil, Satan the fallen angel whatever he might be called. If he tempts us and tries to ruin us, and is basically everywhere, doesn’t that make him almost as if as powerful as God? I know he is not. But it is confusing. Because he is everywhere? But I’ve never been able to understand his ‘presence’. I would like your thoughts. Please explain this in in biblical simplified terms please. Thank you.

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  17 годин тому +1

      He isn’t everywhere. The scripture says he “walks to and fro throughout the earth seeking whom he may devour.” There are definitely demons, but they nor Satan have omnipresence as God does.
      - Trent

    • @darkdesertgoose2112
      @darkdesertgoose2112 13 годин тому

      Thanks, Christians (mainstream) seem to have ways of making believers fear Satan and demons to the point of making them feel they are everywhere. I actually believe they can’t harm or bother true believers and we need not fear. Since embracing OSAS I feel that I no longer have to feel the heavy guilt burden as when I believed the works type gospel.

  • @JohnDugan-k2n
    @JohnDugan-k2n День тому +3

    #bibleline I do believe and have faith in what Jesus did on the cross but quite a few times during the day my mind loses focus and wanders towards other things like watching a movie or reading. Does this happen to other people too. I know the bible instructs us to love the lord with all of our heart but when my mind gets distracted is that a sin

    • @Jesuslordoflords-y4m
      @Jesuslordoflords-y4m День тому

      If you are reading then read the Bible

    • @JohnDugan-k2n
      @JohnDugan-k2n День тому +1

      @Jesuslordoflords-y4m thank but I was asking bibleline

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  16 годин тому

      I wouldn’t say getting distracted is always a sin. It depends. God doesn’t expect us fo necessarily be complete stoics. That would amount to less profitability in my opinion. If you’re distracted in which you rarely read scripture, pray, witness and etc, then that is a problem. That far of a distraction would qualify as sin, especially if you’re distracted to do sinful things. The keeping of standards doesn’t make you righteous, but it is good to strive and continue to grow in the knowledge of the Lord. Let Bible reading and prayer become a habit in your life.
      - Trent

    • @JohnDugan-k2n
      @JohnDugan-k2n 15 годин тому +1

      @BibleLine I do read about a half hour of scripture in the morning and in the evening near bed time. I also pray off and on during the day and when I go for walks I do sometimes talk to Jesus. Even though I do enjoy reading james Patterson books who he is a thriller mystery writer I also have delved into Christian/fiction literature from time to time. Not sure what you mean by witnessing but I have talked about Jesus to a small handful of people over the past year (kind of shy) but not sure how helpful I have been or led them to him

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  15 годин тому +1

      That’s fantastic! Yes, sharing the gospel with people. The goal should be continuous growth. Your mindset should always strive to focus on the Lord and His will for your life.
      - Trent

  • @danstone8783
    @danstone8783 17 годин тому

    The batytle we have to believe and accept that we are saved and have eternal life has as much or more to do with wrong traching and preaching as it does one's own flesh.

  • @iamachildofgodbecauseibeli2491
    @iamachildofgodbecauseibeli2491 День тому +4

    Excuse me ☝️ brother 👨 in our Lord Jesus Christ, I am discussing with someone who believes the lie of salvation can be lost 😞 and he probably also believes the lie that salvation can be forfeited or be given back to God to perish in hell and he told me that Jonah, chapter 2 KJV, verse 2 KJV proves Christians can lose their salvation and I am not sure 🤔 how to prove to him that Jonah, chapter 2 KJV, verse 2 KJV doesn’t prove once saved stay saved or conditional security, I wonder 💭 if you can not only reply to me Jonah, chapter 2 KJV, verse 2 KJV in context but also do a video about it so that the next time someone else quotes me Jonah, chapter 2 KJV, verse 2 out of context to prove loss of salvation then I don’t have to comment or reply to you again. I need to learn how to use email as a beginner.

    • @BibleLine
      @BibleLine  16 годин тому +1

      I believe I answered you once on this matter. It’s okay.
      Jonah 2:2 is not about salvation. Jonah was literally in the fish 3 days and 3 nights. He wasn’t suffering in hell. At best, he literally died and went to “Sheol” which is the place of the dead (saved and unsaved) in the Old Testament. This idea is really expounded on in Luke 16.
      Jonah believed God, but he was stubborn. We also know our Lord points to him as an example of his own death and resurrection.
      This is a weak attempt for your friend to use Jonah 2:2 as a loss of salvation verse.
      - Trent

  • @StevieB-g4e
    @StevieB-g4e День тому +2

    "Church" is not a building made with hands.
    I am in Church 24/7.
    Greater is He that is in me than is in the world.
    Church is NOT a building, and there is not one instruction by Paul or anyone else in the New Testament to erect a building and call it a church.
    Not one.
    There were no church buildings in the early Church.
    The "Church" is and always will be , a body of believers
    Born again, washed in the Blood.
    You can go to these buildings and hear a pastor, NOT rightly dividing the Word.
    They will take something from the Old Testament, meant for the Jews, and dump it in the New Testament and apply it to Christians.
    Like tithing.
    Putting NT believers under the law and not under Grace.
    Paul asks us to give from the heart, mainly to feed the poor, as we should. Not to pay for the erection of a building.
    Where two or three are gathered in my Name , there I am in the midst.
    A house , a paddock, a river , a hot air balloon, wherever.
    Anything that our focus is on other than Christ, is idolatry.

  • @Lili-Benovent
    @Lili-Benovent День тому

    The religion of Ahriman is a philosophy and is based on Anarchy, hedonism and fun, Satan is the center of our religion and he is regarded as the God of fun, his teachings are based on discarding the false 'Jesus and Muhammad' cults. We renounce the evil Christian religion and all the teachings of the false prophet Jesus.
    You will follow Lord Ahriman on the path to everlasting enjoyment of everything this world has to offer and all the good things Christians like to criticize and condemn. Satan is the emissary of Lord Ahriman who rules the world, The Keeper of the Dark. Satan is the supreme teacher of the arts of the Never world, he empowers his followers with a new understanding of nature and the means to access and learn the lost abilities of the spirit seekers of the past.
    Our aim is to exert political influence to close down all the Christian Churches and Islamic Mosques in the country and introduce the disaffected Christians and Muslims to the joys of Satanism. Once you have adopted your new religion you can forget about contributing money to the Churches, Satan will not require you to donate money that could be far better spent on having a good time and enjoying your life.
    Now doesn’t this sound great? You instantly lose all of your hang-ups, fear, paranoia and guilt trips and start living life the way it was meant. Your journey through life begins when you commit yourself to a new life free from all the obligations that have been imposed on you from childhood, you will be free, the world and all its possibilities will be yours. Search for us on UA-cam and the dark web. Blessed be.
    Join us.

  • @Timojin-w3t
    @Timojin-w3t День тому +1

    I believe that God hates me and is the author of all pain and suffering in my life. He is capricious and plays favorites choosing on a whim to bless some abundantly with love and kindness along with good relationships. He chose to mess up when creating me from the start giving me a traumatic birth along with putting me in a family full of betrayal cruelty and abandonment. The very word "love" is a cuss word and I hate hearing it. Love is a sick joke played upon people like me who God doesn't care about. Some people have the luxury and that's what it is a luxury for God's favorite spoiled kiddies, but NOT FOR ME! Because Jesus Christ hates ME! Don't get me started on the topic of Christian women or so-called sisters in Christ. I've known witches who are kinder than them. There is no hate like a Christian woman's love. God's name shouldn't be Yahweh, it should be Noweh as in No Way! I am tired of His hateful silence and I willl speak to Him no more because He Hates me and He hates my prayers!

    • @wanderer44-xr5si
      @wanderer44-xr5si День тому +1

      Sorry to hear about all you have been through. I assure you that God does not hate you, and He is not the author of your suffering. The Bible shows that God created humanity out of love, but the brokenness in our world results from sin and the freedom He gave humans to choose. While this brokenness causes suffering, God’s heart breaks with yours.
      Jesus Christ entered into our suffering-He came into this world not to condemn but to save and to heal the brokenhearted (John 3:17; Psalm 34:18). He knows betrayal, rejection, and physical and emotional agony. He took all of it upon Himself on the cross so that we could find healing, restoration, and hope.
      It’s easy to feel like love is a cruel joke, especially when life has shown you the opposite. But God’s love is not limited by human failures. Even when others fail us, God’s love remains constant. He has not abandoned you, even if it feels that way now. Sometimes, in our darkest moments, it’s hard to see Him, but He is near and ready to meet you in your pain.
      You are not forgotten or unloved. God’s love for you is not determined by the approval or disapproval of others. Jesus Himself said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
      I invite you to give God another chance. You don’t have to hide your anger, questions, or doubts from Him-He can handle them. Cry out to Him honestly, even if it’s just to say, “I don’t know what to believe anymore.” God hears and cares. I encourage you to just open your heart and give Him another chance. I know He cares for you, and does not want you to feel this way. You can simply pray something like, Heavenly Father,
      "I come before You, not knowing how to express the pain and anger in my heart. Life feels overwhelming, and I can't understand why it seems like You have forgotten me. My heart is heavy, and I feel rejected and unloved.
      Lord, You see the depths of my soul, even the places I want to hide. Please help me. Even when I doubt You, even when I’m angry, draw me close. Let Your love break through the walls of pain and bitterness I feel.
      Jesus, Remind me that You care for me and that Your love is not based on how others have treated me or the struggles I’ve faced. Heal the broken pieces of my heart and show me that You are near, even in silence.
      Help me to believe in Your love when it feels impossible. Remind me that Your plans for me are for good, even when I cannot see it. Give me the strength to trust You, one step at a time."
      In Jesus’ name,
      Amen. Will keep you in prayers. Be blessed

    • @edmundob.guevarra9565
      @edmundob.guevarra9565 10 годин тому +1

      Same here. Been contemplating unaliving myself these past years. I know, it is a SIN but it is a very logical decision for me. Seems like the more I grow in the knowledge of God's word and the more I desire to serve Him, the more God peppers me with crippling adversities, and of course some would say "iT bUilDs cHriStIaN cHaRacTeR!" but contrary to that it only tears me apart and shatters my faith. It's hard to think about rewards in heaven when you have bills to pay here and now and can't get a job due to severe social anxiety. Some professing christians say it is God's will for me to not work at a job because it might cause me to lose interest in God but that makes a mockery of "If ye won't work neither should you eat". Unaliving is a sure option for me at this point but until then, I'll still spread the Gospel to people outside my circle as long as this body still wants to live.

    • @wanderer44-xr5si
      @wanderer44-xr5si 9 годин тому

      @@edmundob.guevarra9565 I want to share with you the vital truth that the Holy Spirit is necessary for salvation and is the key to overcoming anxiety and hopelessness. The Bible teaches that salvation is not merely about knowing God intellectually but being born again through His Spirit. Jesus said, “Unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God” (John 3:5). The Holy Spirit brings new life, convicts us of sin, and enables us to fully trust in Christ as Savior.
      The Holy Spirit also helps us navigate the challenges of life. In moments of anxiety, He comforts us, reminding us of God’s promises. The Apostle Paul wrote, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness... He intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26). He fills our hearts with peace and empowers us to face adversity with courage and hope.
      To receive the Holy Spirit, you need to come to God in faith and repentance. Acknowledge that you are a sinner in need of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Invite Him to be the Lord of your life, surrendering yourself completely. Luke 11:13 says, “How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” With a sincere heart, pray and ask God to fill you with His Spirit.
      The Holy Spirit will not only seal your salvation but will also transform your life, equipping you with strength and peace. Trust Him to guide you and fill you with the hope that can only come from a relationship with Jesus. I want to encourage to pour out your heart to god, and simply pray something like, "Heavenly Father,
      I come before You burdened by anxiety and longing for peace. I confess my need for You and acknowledge that my own strength is insufficient. Lord, I surrender my fears and uncertainties to You, trusting in Your promises of love and faithfulness.
      Please fill me with the Holy Spirit, who brings comfort, guidance, and strength. Renew my heart and mind, replacing fear with Your perfect peace. Help me to trust You fully and to walk confidently in Your presence.
      In Jesus' name, Amen.".....Its not about the words, its bout your heart. Dont give up, Jesus cares for you. Will keep you in my prayers. God bless you

    • @Timojin-w3t
      @Timojin-w3t 7 годин тому

      @edmundob.guevarra9565 Yep! I was all fired up for Christ 30 years ago when I first got saved. God sent a flood like the one in Noah's time to extinguish that fire in me and my heart has been thoroughly blackened by 30 years of broken promises and sanctimonious "brothers in christ" telling me to be content as a single to which I said "Easy for you to say Mr. Married Man" just because God loved you enough to bless you that way doesn't mean he feels that way about all of us. He rolls his dice on every life, depending on how those dice land will determine whether He calls you "Jacob whom I loved or Esau who He hated" or an Isaac or Ishmael. The Lord is whimsical and capricious. I think of that disgusting god in that movie "Thor love and thunder" who laughed at the suffering of a "Gor" a very devout servant of his who he told his purpose was just to die for his name while the same God laughed at the death of his daughter. I have prayed and hoped for so long. If God actually cared He would have done something by now. He is all powerful, yet he does nothing with that power unless it is to cause loss, pain and injury while having the audacity to call himself a loving God. He wants us to come to church to sing a bunch of silly songs that flatter His ego that is to big for this universe to contain. I really hate Christian music because it is hypersuperficoal and full of meaningless fluff that I cannot relate to and makes me nauseous. Give me some Pantera or some Slipknot. I listen to that stuff and it hits home. If I can't have love, I want to burn it off this meaningless planet and destroy all the beautiful "happy" people in a maelstrom of blood and fire.