As someone who has followed you since you drew a stunning picture of a crab in ball-point pen, I am so grateful that you decided to make this update. I am also SO PROUD of how far you've come, and I'm excited to see where the road takes you in the future. If I could give this video 2 thumbs up, I totally would. Good on you, Lou!
oh my god, you remember the crab! You're a true original 🙀🙏🏼🦀 I honestly find it hard to even relate to my former, anorexic self. It's so weird even seeing my first ever UA-cam videos still on here, and it's pretty shocking if you watch them side-by-side. Thanks so much for sticking around after all these years, that actually amazes me and lifts me up so much. Cheers, Jessica!
I've always been inspired by you, your perseverance, and your quest to continually better yourself. Your videos motivated me as I went through school, and made me feel like my love of stationary (and gratuitous highlighting of documents) wasn't weird at all. I know what you mean when you say that you can't relate to your passed self. I feel the same way about past iterations of me. I think that that feeling can help to motivate us now. By acknowledging how far we've come, we are less likely to regress, right? Here since the beginning, here til the end.
I agree with you, great job! Lou you were one of the first youtubers that I would watch regularly a few years ago. I was raising kids alone and in grad school and have had weight and metabolism issues etc all my life! You gave me hope and made me laugh and I liked seeing the food in your kitchen.
This just popped up unexpectedly in my recommendations and I am shook! I remember watching your videos in your darker days and this progress and light is just so wonderful to see. Yay, Lou! x
Lou, I've been following your journey since the IB days! I'm really proud of you and want you to know that you have been a source of consolation and inspiration at the same time... You still are :)
Hey everybody! Thanks so much for tuning in to my video. PLEASE share this with anybody you think would find the message helpful. This kind of thing would have been eye-opening for me all those years ago. I also just wanted to say that I think throughout my upbringing, my parents wanted what was best for me, and they took as many opportunities as possible to give me a good education. Sometimes the way this stuff gets interpreted by the child really backfires, and unfortunately this was how it panned out in my situation. I don’t blame my parents for this stuff, they were just trying to see me into a stable career path. Also! I forgot to mention here that I came *joint* top of the year at undergrad (holla to my homies, u rock) and I only got straight firsts in my final year, in case that was unclear. I’m not some kind of God. Right, think that’s all the clarifying I wanna do. Let me know what you think in the comments below! Lou xx
So interesting. My eating was disordered when I followed you back in the day (way back when you went to Europe with your Mum on a work trip (I believe?) and ate apples? And now I, like you, am pursuing a PhD in Philosophy. Ha!
💕✊🏻Go Lou, power to you! From watching all your eloquent uploads there wasn't a doubt in my mind you wouldn't be amazing academically. Loved your uploads when you showed your drawings, fashion sense, make up hauls, your time as a nanny, Baccalaureate vlogs.... Lovely to see you so happy and helping others x
That's so sweet of you to say! Dang! I can't believe you remember my au pairing videos...I'm pretty sure it would be illegal to post videos like that again 🤣Let's just say: I'm never having kids... Thanks for your continuing support, means so darn much to me xoxxo
Awwww! Thanks so much Harpz! I truly believe it. And I'm not the only living example of such a #glowup. I know so many people who were told they weren't good enough etc. etc., and they've achieved even more than me (and those people inspire the heck out of me, too). I think people who had a rough time find in themselves an unmatchable grit. There's nothing quite like the determination of somebody who thought they had lost everything. With the right support, *those* are the people who end up showing the world that ain't NUTHIN gonna stop 'em 💁🏼♀️xxx
I'm so happy to see you doing so well. I used to watch your early videos and wish I could be as 'disciplined' as you. I remember seeing you in different hotel room videos talking about the foods you would eat. Being messed up in the head myself it never occurred to me that what you were doing was hurting you. I was just envious! Like someone else mentioned I also remember the crab :) also I remember a pink beret in one particular video. I feel disgusted that I used to watch youtubers with illnesses to motivate myself! I'm not surprised you got great results and went to Oxford. I'm glad it's something that makes you happy. You were always so well spoken and talented. Great video! Xx
Oh wow, gosh, it never occurred to me that anybody would watch me while ill and think I was #goalz... jeeez, looks like we've both come a long way! To be honest, education has been (and will always be) a hugely important part of my life, but it's not the be all and end all -- it certainly used to be my entire life though. The things that really matter are love, friendship, and family -- or, at least, these are absolutely incredible cherries on an academic cake. Thanks so much for your kind and generous comments, it means a lot xxxx
LouFederer Wow, I’m sorry to make that point then. I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad. It wasn’t the only reason but it was one of the reasons. I watched other people too and wonder what happened to them. Are they doing well? I’m so happy you are! I love how positive you are in your videos. Inspirational in a different way now for me xxx
I am very grateful for hearing this. Although I cannot relate to the ED I can apply this the whole 'not feeling good enough' to relate to what you mean...What is mentioned in here is great and so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤️
Ethereal Stranger I’ve literally got a video about not being good enough coming out in an hour! Stay tuned. It gets a bit painful but I hope it’ll offer you some more solidarity 🙏
So inspiring Lou!!! If there’s one message I could give myself at any age is my parents do not own me or my dreams.... I’ve given up on so many because my mum puts fear into me and the fact is, there’s risk to anything but someone has to win, and there’s no reason why that can’t be us! Hell, there’s competition for jobs working on a check out... 10 years ago, wooden floors weren’t as trendy, imagine all the carpenters training, and how well they’ll be doing now! This is so inspiring.. the question should always be ‘why not?’ ‘Are the risks worse than never trying?’ Xxxxxxxxx
I grew up with so much painful disparagement from my parents about going after my artsy dreams. It was like I couldn't win. The risk of failure was always used against me, as if to try to stop me bothering at all. So utterly depressing. I'm so glad you've come really far with your recovery, too. Nobody has the right to hold us back. And if they do want to hold us down, it's probably because our confidence and success threatens them in some way - think we know who the saddo is in that scenario! Thanks for the love + support, Jennie! xxxxx
Getting rid of the need to have everyone's approval is indeed hard to do u.u (typing this as I'm crying because this video is effin inspiring!!) But wait a sec, my gal looking like a snaccc! hahahaha sorry Lou, had to say that, you're glowing!! xx
I friggin' love this comment! The glow is probably coming from the liberally-applied rosehip oil 😏 but otherwise I'm crediting veganism for any unintended snackiness 💁🏼♀️🌱xxxx
really good advice. I'd like to know how you overcome insecurities (if you have them) before sending out applications or chapter drafts. I almost didn't send out the application for the phd position that i actually got, because i felt so insecure and i didn't want to embarass myself and i still struggle with this, even after 3 years into the phd and well over 10 years in academia. (i actually studied philosophy before but stopped after three years because i didn't hand in any of the assignments because of this reason). also, do you have an office or desk at the university available or do you have to work from home?
Hey! Thanks for the comment :)) So, wrt insecurities. I've come along way with this! I guess I realised a while ago that these things don't need to be perfect. Obviously one wants to make PhD applications etc. as good as possible, because that is realistically what everybody else will be doing. But I've read the successful applications of others and they aren't like shiny golden nuggets. The thing that tends to set those applications apart from the competition are the strength of the ideas, backed up by excellent transcripts, references, and writing samples. I think once I'd gotten myself in front of the people who would be able to give me an offer (for the PhD), I also realised the value of rapport, and of the faculty member seeing you as a whole person - and whether you'd be a good addition, in terms of your character and temperament, to the graduate body. Before I got any PhD offers, I'd had informal interviews and chats with the people in power (so to speak), and I think that even though my work was very good (and I had publications, too), a huge factor was that these people liked me. That was pretty massive, I imagine. People love a known quantity. As for sending off draft chapters, I feel even more chill about this than I was my PhD applications. I always remind myself that I am primarily a student. Nobody expects students to be perfect or to have everything worked out. And I turn up to my supervisions genuinely eager to embrace my supervisor's comments. I want to learn from her. But, at the same time, she always tells me how much she is learning from my research. Even though I get imposter syndrome much worse in other settings (conferences, seminars with other students), I manage to get back to my Word documents with a kind of humility that isn't mired by my former perfectionism. I trust the process of research, and keep firmly in mind what a PhD has to achieve, and I realise that things don't have to be absolutely flawless. I definitely edit my work with a more hawkish eye than I write it (I find it helps to write liberally and un-self-consciously), so it's not like I don't turn-on perfectionism mode when I think I need or want to. But I obviously feel hugely insecure, if not just plain scared, when I get into a seminar where my work is being discussed by multiple participants. The public critique of my work feels like it opens up the possibility of humiliation, and when those forums have been hard (or even a bit nasty), I've come away pretty battered and down on myself (+ my work, too). I'm discussing the latter with my therapist this week, and I hope I'll be able to share on my channel my strategies going forward regarding public critique, which I find psychologically much harder to cope with than the private critique of my supervisor.
As someone who has followed you since you drew a stunning picture of a crab in ball-point pen, I am so grateful that you decided to make this update. I am also SO PROUD of how far you've come, and I'm excited to see where the road takes you in the future.
If I could give this video 2 thumbs up, I totally would.
Good on you, Lou!
oh my god, you remember the crab! You're a true original 🙀🙏🏼🦀 I honestly find it hard to even relate to my former, anorexic self. It's so weird even seeing my first ever UA-cam videos still on here, and it's pretty shocking if you watch them side-by-side. Thanks so much for sticking around after all these years, that actually amazes me and lifts me up so much. Cheers, Jessica!
I've always been inspired by you, your perseverance, and your quest to continually better yourself. Your videos motivated me as I went through school, and made me feel like my love of stationary (and gratuitous highlighting of documents) wasn't weird at all.
I know what you mean when you say that you can't relate to your passed self. I feel the same way about past iterations of me. I think that that feeling can help to motivate us now. By acknowledging how far we've come, we are less likely to regress, right?
Here since the beginning, here til the end.
I used to watch you years ago and I'm so deeply moved to see how excellently you've done. You freaking rock!
Ahhhh! I remember you!!! God, it feels like a lifetime ago....! Thanks so much for coming back + for the support 🌱💙
I agree with you, great job! Lou you were one of the first youtubers that I would watch regularly a few years ago. I was raising kids alone and in grad school and have had weight and metabolism issues etc all my life! You gave me hope and made me laugh and I liked seeing the food in your kitchen.
This just popped up unexpectedly in my recommendations and I am shook! I remember watching your videos in your darker days and this progress and light is just so wonderful to see. Yay, Lou! x
Lou, I've been following your journey since the IB days! I'm really proud of you and want you to know that you have been a source of consolation and inspiration at the same time... You still are :)
Hey everybody! Thanks so much for tuning in to my video. PLEASE share this with anybody you think would find the message helpful. This kind of thing would have been eye-opening for me all those years ago. I also just wanted to say that I think throughout my upbringing, my parents wanted what was best for me, and they took as many opportunities as possible to give me a good education. Sometimes the way this stuff gets interpreted by the child really backfires, and unfortunately this was how it panned out in my situation. I don’t blame my parents for this stuff, they were just trying to see me into a stable career path. Also! I forgot to mention here that I came *joint* top of the year at undergrad (holla to my homies, u rock) and I only got straight firsts in my final year, in case that was unclear. I’m not some kind of God. Right, think that’s all the clarifying I wanna do. Let me know what you think in the comments below! Lou xx
LouFederer, you are amazing! Such an inspiration! 💫 Thank you so much!
So interesting. My eating was disordered when I followed you back in the day (way back when you went to Europe with your Mum on a work trip (I believe?) and ate apples? And now I, like you, am pursuing a PhD in Philosophy. Ha!
💕✊🏻Go Lou, power to you! From watching all your eloquent uploads there wasn't a doubt in my mind you wouldn't be amazing academically. Loved your uploads when you showed your drawings, fashion sense, make up hauls, your time as a nanny, Baccalaureate vlogs.... Lovely to see you so happy and helping others x
That's so sweet of you to say! Dang! I can't believe you remember my au pairing videos...I'm pretty sure it would be illegal to post videos like that again 🤣Let's just say: I'm never having kids... Thanks for your continuing support, means so darn much to me xoxxo
Another great video Lou!! Very inspirational and showing that anyone can do anything as long they put their mind to it. Loving the videos!! xx 😄
Awwww! Thanks so much Harpz! I truly believe it. And I'm not the only living example of such a #glowup. I know so many people who were told they weren't good enough etc. etc., and they've achieved even more than me (and those people inspire the heck out of me, too). I think people who had a rough time find in themselves an unmatchable grit. There's nothing quite like the determination of somebody who thought they had lost everything. With the right support, *those* are the people who end up showing the world that ain't NUTHIN gonna stop 'em 💁🏼♀️xxx
Very empowering!
I'm so happy to see you doing so well. I used to watch your early videos and wish I could be as 'disciplined' as you. I remember seeing you in different hotel room videos talking about the foods you would eat. Being messed up in the head myself it never occurred to me that what you were doing was hurting you. I was just envious! Like someone else mentioned I also remember the crab :) also I remember a pink beret in one particular video. I feel disgusted that I used to watch youtubers with illnesses to motivate myself! I'm not surprised you got great results and went to Oxford. I'm glad it's something that makes you happy. You were always so well spoken and talented. Great video! Xx
Oh wow, gosh, it never occurred to me that anybody would watch me while ill and think I was #goalz... jeeez, looks like we've both come a long way! To be honest, education has been (and will always be) a hugely important part of my life, but it's not the be all and end all -- it certainly used to be my entire life though. The things that really matter are love, friendship, and family -- or, at least, these are absolutely incredible cherries on an academic cake. Thanks so much for your kind and generous comments, it means a lot xxxx
LouFederer Wow, I’m sorry to make that point then. I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad. It wasn’t the only reason but it was one of the reasons. I watched other people too and wonder what happened to them. Are they doing well? I’m so happy you are! I love how positive you are in your videos. Inspirational in a different way now for me xxx
I am very grateful for hearing this. Although I cannot relate to the ED I can apply this the whole 'not feeling good enough' to relate to what you mean...What is mentioned in here is great and so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤️
Ethereal Stranger I’ve literally got a video about not being good enough coming out in an hour! Stay tuned. It gets a bit painful but I hope it’ll offer you some more solidarity 🙏
So inspiring Lou!!! If there’s one message I could give myself at any age is my parents do not own me or my dreams.... I’ve given up on so many because my mum puts fear into me and the fact is, there’s risk to anything but someone has to win, and there’s no reason why that can’t be us! Hell, there’s competition for jobs working on a check out... 10 years ago, wooden floors weren’t as trendy, imagine all the carpenters training, and how well they’ll be doing now! This is so inspiring.. the question should always be ‘why not?’ ‘Are the risks worse than never trying?’ Xxxxxxxxx
I grew up with so much painful disparagement from my parents about going after my artsy dreams. It was like I couldn't win. The risk of failure was always used against me, as if to try to stop me bothering at all. So utterly depressing. I'm so glad you've come really far with your recovery, too. Nobody has the right to hold us back. And if they do want to hold us down, it's probably because our confidence and success threatens them in some way - think we know who the saddo is in that scenario! Thanks for the love + support, Jennie! xxxxx
So much love to you
Such an amazing message :)
I'm glad you think so x
Woohooo love you Lou xxx
Getting rid of the need to have everyone's approval is indeed hard to do u.u (typing this as I'm crying because this video is effin inspiring!!)
But wait a sec, my gal looking like a snaccc! hahahaha sorry Lou, had to say that, you're glowing!! xx
I friggin' love this comment! The glow is probably coming from the liberally-applied rosehip oil 😏 but otherwise I'm crediting veganism for any unintended snackiness 💁🏼♀️🌱xxxx
It's funny that going to KCL is somehow subpar, according to this vid.
You make me want to read more books lol
Daisy Lewis not the worst result I guess 🤣
really good advice. I'd like to know how you overcome insecurities (if you have them) before sending out applications or chapter drafts. I almost didn't send out the application for the phd position that i actually got, because i felt so insecure and i didn't want to embarass myself and i still struggle with this, even after 3 years into the phd and well over 10 years in academia. (i actually studied philosophy before but stopped after three years because i didn't hand in any of the assignments because of this reason). also, do you have an office or desk at the university available or do you have to work from home?
Hey! Thanks for the comment :)) So, wrt insecurities. I've come along way with this! I guess I realised a while ago that these things don't need to be perfect. Obviously one wants to make PhD applications etc. as good as possible, because that is realistically what everybody else will be doing. But I've read the successful applications of others and they aren't like shiny golden nuggets. The thing that tends to set those applications apart from the competition are the strength of the ideas, backed up by excellent transcripts, references, and writing samples. I think once I'd gotten myself in front of the people who would be able to give me an offer (for the PhD), I also realised the value of rapport, and of the faculty member seeing you as a whole person - and whether you'd be a good addition, in terms of your character and temperament, to the graduate body. Before I got any PhD offers, I'd had informal interviews and chats with the people in power (so to speak), and I think that even though my work was very good (and I had publications, too), a huge factor was that these people liked me. That was pretty massive, I imagine. People love a known quantity. As for sending off draft chapters, I feel even more chill about this than I was my PhD applications. I always remind myself that I am primarily a student. Nobody expects students to be perfect or to have everything worked out. And I turn up to my supervisions genuinely eager to embrace my supervisor's comments. I want to learn from her. But, at the same time, she always tells me how much she is learning from my research. Even though I get imposter syndrome much worse in other settings (conferences, seminars with other students), I manage to get back to my Word documents with a kind of humility that isn't mired by my former perfectionism. I trust the process of research, and keep firmly in mind what a PhD has to achieve, and I realise that things don't have to be absolutely flawless. I definitely edit my work with a more hawkish eye than I write it (I find it helps to write liberally and un-self-consciously), so it's not like I don't turn-on perfectionism mode when I think I need or want to. But I obviously feel hugely insecure, if not just plain scared, when I get into a seminar where my work is being discussed by multiple participants. The public critique of my work feels like it opens up the possibility of humiliation, and when those forums have been hard (or even a bit nasty), I've come away pretty battered and down on myself (+ my work, too). I'm discussing the latter with my therapist this week, and I hope I'll be able to share on my channel my strategies going forward regarding public critique, which I find psychologically much harder to cope with than the private critique of my supervisor.