Candace Owens just responded to Matt and Prager’s dispute about porn! It was really cool to see her totally defend Matt and speak out about the danger of pornography
I suddenly just remembered that it was actually a random girl at school that introduced me to the world of animated pornography back in 2004. I really need to pray for that girl.
I love Matt’s perspective of having compassion on younger self. So easy to suppress younger trauma. Regular confession to pick up this cross is incredible. Christ’s mercy is real and heals us.
As a guy, it’s really great to see women speaking out against pornography from a place of experience, compassion, and recovery. For me personally, a real contributing factor to the shame of porn addiction is the false idea that porn is mostly a male struggle and that women all look down on men who fight this addiction. While that may be true of some women, I think that it’s too easy to project that onto all women because of the lack of discussion about the woman’s side of porn addiction. For that reason, I find so much peace and feel so seen when pornography is discussed from a woman’s perspective. Further, it helps me feel more desirable and helps crush the porn-created paradigm that I’m undesirable to women. I think over time the benefits of open discussion between the sexes about this sin will only continue to manifest themselves, and that excites me.
I love that Rachael actually takes a few seconds to answer some of the deeper "why" questions that she's asked. Doesnt just pop off with the first thing that comes to mind. She understands that truly knowing yourself is a continuous process.
@Angela Preteen curiosity is how I found pornography. I've been watching it for 21-22 years. I'm 32. I read erotic reading material, look at erotic art, pornography, looking at both sexes nude or semi nude. It's my weekly sin. I didn't think it was "that bad" until this morning. I think the culprit is too much time on the internet and too much curiosity. I wonder how this will affect my marriage. I think of how I'll disappoint my husband. I think of the ways it altered my sexuality. I wonder how God feels about self inflicted suffering. Some people's suffering comes from the outside. I think I am usually responsible for my suffering. It is self inflicted. I really like Rachael's honesty.
@@IONov990 hi there. Thank you for your honesty. My story is a little similar to yours. It's hard to let go of . Still struggling. I hope God grants us healing soon, or at least propels us to the path towards it ( I would like to think I am already on that path but i can't say for sure). Actually it's Rachel's first interview on Pints with Aquinas that made me finally admit to myself that I indeed have a problem.
I choose porn over the eucharist. I almost think praying is pointless. I know this may sound dramatic but I feel disgusted with myself. Three times I've acted out what I saw in porn and IT ENDED HORRIBLY. I am 32 and I really don't think I should date until I'm done with this habit. I'm getting older and I'm wondering if I'll ever get married and have children. I am very interested in Magdala ministry but I want COMPLETE ANONYMITY.
Recovering 34 year old Porn addict here, almost a year clean. I cant recommend covenant eyes enough, and switching to an android phone which works better with covenant eyes. Finding a good accountability partner is important as well. My mom is my accountability partner. Shes awesome.
@@IONov990 I will pray for you IO that you and many women who have gone through similar experiences like yourself will recover from the harm that pornography has caused you. I pray that you will find a righteous husband and your sexuality might be restored as God intended it. I'm a 19 year old man who's been porn free for 2 years now and I still suffer from some of its effects as well, but there is hope. God bless.
Recovering 34 year old porn addict here. Been clean almost a year now. I cant recommend covenant eyes enough, especially on an android phone, which works better with covenant eyes. In addition putting a passcode on the smart TV and not having a computer in the home. The most important step in recovery is telling the people who care about you, and asking them to help you. My wife has the passcode to the TV, and my mom is my covenant eyes accountability partner. I hope this comment helps someone, and I pray that the Lord sustain me, Lord Jesus Christ, son of God have mercy on me a sinner.
While one should not go into a marriage with a porn addiction, I think one reason these addictions are so prevalent is because modern society is extremely counter to human biology. Our ancestors generally married as teenagers, whereas us moderns grow up in an extremely pornographic society and are told to wait, wait, wait while our hormones rage. It’s a problem none of us can really address, but I think this issue of porn and masturbation addiction in the West won’t stop until society reorganizes around biology once again. Society is hostile to children and marriage. I hope my kids are lucky enough to find good Catholic spouses when they’re college-aged and minimally suffer the meat grinder experience of modern culture that works against the goals of channeling one’s sexuality properly.
Yeah, this is obvious and it's ironic considering the atheistic outlook people have. If you believe in evolution (to be fair, many or most Christians, including myself, do) -- shouldn't you look to the _hundreds of thousands of years_ of human evolution for answers about how we ought to live? But no one ever does.
@@wormwoodcocktail correct. That was only common within the nobility and even then they would have to wait to come together so pregnancy could be safer for the woman.
What a beautiful conversation. Thank u God for Magdala. And thank you God for Rachel. Magdala gave me a community of sisters who understand me and pray for me and are on this journey with me, together.
There was a huge group of women who loved fifty shades of grey and they would talk about at church an work so yes women struggle with lust , prayer for all who struggle
It blows my mind that I've NEVER heard of Magdala ! I struggled with pornography addiction and that's how I came across Pints with Aquinas. Even though a lot of the help was geared more towards men I really was able to apply it to myself but man I often wondered how helpful it would be to have something for women because it is just not talked about at all but we are struggling with the same addictions. Praise God for your ministry, I pray that you'll continue to grow and reach more and more souls who are in dire need of this ministry, God bless!
Listening to Rachael gives me so much joy because I don't feel alone in how I think and the kind of person I want to become. Thank you so having her on this podcast, Matt!
So many helpful sub topics were addressed here. Healing imagination spoke to me on an extremely personal level and I'm so thankful for that being addressed here. What I found the most healing for my imagination was reading Tolkien and writing my own short stories. I was so filled with wonder as a child and feel that time in highschool and college KILLED it. I'm still healing and college was awhile ago now, but seeing my little daughter so filled with wonder and interest just makes me want to wrap her in my arms and protect her from the world most days. Women do struggle and I'm so thankful there's a ministry for this. Because years ago I knew people who needed it and they didn't feel they had a safe place to go. I also wanted to say THANK YOU MATT for addressing how toxic influencers can be for young Mamas. Even these lovely Catholic moms have said things and shown things that have been harmful to me as a new mom. UA-cam is my only social media now and I may even ditch UA-cam. Because I do not want to encourage envy or insecurities in myself, ya know? To all the young moms out there, sending you love and support!!
This is such a wonderful comment! We have such innocent and playful imaginations as children. It is sad that things like porn can corrupt our minds and turn them against us. I have had to do a lot of work to heal my own mind. Reading your comment reminded me how much I used to like to read fantasy stories as a kid, and I feel that that is something I would love to return to doing instead of just spending free time scrolling on social media.
You write? What genre? I want to be an author. I want to recapture the innocence of youth, loving your friends, and feeling hopeful about the future. Sin is a very real part of our existence. I almost think the only way for a main character to be entertaining if she is cruel, promiscuous, and selfish. Of course she's incredibly sexy. It seems a lot of adult novels include sex
I like the explanation of Till We Have Faces in relation to if prayer is enough. It delves into that prayer can be enough once we get to a point where we can be honest and present our true self to God. And it is through ministries like this that a person can get to a point where they can be truly vulnerable with God and be open to receiving that love and affirmation from Our Lord.
55:19 thank you so much I’ve started tracking my cycle a few months ago in relation to this sin, and I thought I was using it as an excuse but thanks for affirming that my intuition has some truth. It helped me understand where my compulsion comes from (since I’ve been trying my best to get rid of my triggers so I didn’t know what else to do). It’s not a quick fix, but for sure helpful. Thank you!
While listening to this today, I stopped the recording and thanked God for saving me from this rabbit hole. Before I was too far into porn, I gave it up one Lenten season and never went back.
Rachael came to my university to speak, and the perspective she gave was very insightful. Thank you both, Matt and Rachael, for spreading awareness to this issue.
I want to comment on the question "what can men do to support women who struggle with porn addiction?" because I feel like there were things left unsaid. I think men need to tell women how freaking beautiful they are, in a sincere and meaningful and completely chaste way, and I think our dear sisters probably crave that message and should hear it often. We certainly need to keep vigilant to avoid near occasions of sin, so it is certainly wise to avoid placing men and women in situations where they are likely to sin together, but I think we need to recognize that we ultimately really need each other and are configured for each other. I think we need chaste friendships with members of the opposite sex to fully actualize in sexual maturity and heal the damage done by porn and the pornified world. I am a man who struggled with porn for years, and very much am still yearning to fully heal from the wounds it left. After my first few months of sobriety, I was kind of overwhelmed by how distractingly beautiful I found women! My response to seeing their beauty was fear - fear that it would lead me into sin again. While I think that's an appropriate response for a time, we can't live life that way for long. Now I see a beautiful woman and I just thank God for creating her, allowing me to behold his lovely daughter, and say a quick prayer for her that she will persevere in chastity and glorify God with her life. These days I wish there were some forum where I could actually tell all the girls how beautiful I think they are, like in a co-ed church group for adults who have struggled with sexual sin. Is that crazy or dangerous? I'm a very happily married man and I wouldn't want to give the impression that I'm trying to have an affair or build up any kind of inappropriate relationship. My gut just tells me that we need to figure out how to do this if we want to heal. God bless all of you dear women who have struggled with porn, and I am sorry for all the hurt and pain you've experienced from the men in your lives who didn't tell you how beautiful you are when you needed to hear it! God love you and bless, my dear sweet sisters! Thank you, Rachel, for the great work you're doing! Glory to Jesus Christ, now and forever.
That was so beautiful. Just wow! I absolutely agree with you and I think a lot of young women, especially women who produce sexual content, need to know there are men who don't want anything from them and can be a brother to them. It makes us feel seen and safe.
I LOVED Rachel. I listened to both interviews and I can't even explain how validated I feel now in my feelings, thoughts and opinions because of many things you guys said. I was feeling like the only woman going through that stuff, the identity crisis, feeling less feminine, the confusing predominant narrative in the Church, the traumas, social media, influencers... I just felt you guys were my long-time friends. Before listening to the first interview with Rachel I felt so alone in my thoughts, my opinions on women and sexual sin, social media, feminity, sin and marriage, etc. Before hearing about Magdala (I haven't tried it yet), I would just keep thinking that something was completely wrong with me for struggling with something that was a "man struggle", now I know that, even with my sins and traumas, I'm not a phenomenon and that there's hope. God bless you guys, I seriously loved these interviews.
When Rachel mentioned how many women are on OnlyFans this quote came to my head: Spengler's Universal Law #9: A country isn't beaten until it sells its women, but it's damned when its women sell themselves.
Don't watch the young mom blogs... find the old moms find the 55 year old mama who has 10 kids and a good chunk or life under her belt.... you will feel so much better. It's like having a internet grandma. Their advice works.
Jerome Kodell, in his book Life Lessons From the Monastery, tells a story about a young man struggling with prayer and remembering scripture. "A monk gave him a wicker basket and told him to fill it with sand, place it outside the door and every day pour a bucket of water over it. The young man did so and dound that each time some of the sand would leak out of the basket. After months of this the basket was clean. He reported this to his spiritual father and the monk said, "my son, you are the basket. The sand is your sinfulness, your pride, your unhappiness. The water is the word of God. The basket doesn't remember the water that gradually cleansed it, neither do you remember every word of scripture you read. But if you continue to pour the water of God's word over your sinfulness, someday you to will be clean." Prayer may not be the quick fix we want. But each time we pray God makes us stronger and prepares us for our victory.
Not really any silver bullets as was said, but there are many bullets of different calibers, and they add up. Finding the best combination of bullets for each person is important. One of them, which I don't think is thought through enough, is really thinking about how to apply Jesus' firm advice in Mt 5:27-30 to this problem. Scrutinizing weaknesses, triggers, occasions (including use of social media), contexts, and practical means of putting oneself in the best position to resist and push through. And Rachael touches on this in her new book. I'm glad she has a section on learning one's triggers, including how the phone can be an occasion for sin. So many people treat their phones today like an extension of their hand. Mt 5:27-30 may be applied here; it may be time to cut it off.
I don't think I agree with this. Why shouldn't there be a "silver bullet"? Maybe we just haven't found it. But what bothers me is the idea behind "triggers" and "occasions for sin". No, that's wrong. That's blaming your own sin on other people. A beautiful woman is not an occasion for sin for me. A picture of a woman is not a trigger. The trigger and the occasion for sin are my bad desires. If you take a serial killer off the street, isolate him from others and remove every kind of weapon from his confinement- he will still be full of murderous intentions. So what if he is unable to act on them? People make the mistake of treating porn like a substance absue problem - all you need to do is quit using, quit consuming, and the addiction goes away. That may be true of cigarettes or alcohol. But it isn't true of porn. Sexual desire never goes away (and if it does, you have a worse problem on your hand than porn). It doesn't go away because it isn't caused by the object of your desire (the woman), but rather, by yourself. A chemical addiction is caused by the thing itself. You can become "addicted" in the sense of a spike in anxiety, a persistent urge, a feeling of compulsion -- and that is a bit like a chemical addiction (the chemicals being your own brains natural reward system gone haywire). But that is the only part that changes when you quit "using". And in fact, it's the least important thing that needs to be changed. The heart issue is what really matters. And that's kinda what I was getting at with the pushback about the "silver bullet". No one trues to solve the porn problem by addressing the heart issue. It's always about controlling the behaviour. What use is that? It's producing a legion of ex-addicts who can't actually control themselves around the forbudden substance, so they swear it off forever. They're like alcoholics who drive the long way home from work to avoid driving past the liquor store. No! You aren't free until you don't care whether there's a liquor store or not! All you have to do, after all, is not go in! And this is the example I use because you are always on a street with a liquor store. There's millions of porn sites out there, and millions of smartphones, tablets, computers, etc.. The silver bullet is tackling the heart issue. That's the only thing that matters.
@@josephbrandenburg4373 I appreciate the concern and engagement. The ideas behind “triggers” and “occasions for sin” do not amount to transferring responsibility for personal sin to others. I am not saying we shouldn’t take responsibility for sin (we should and Jesus is clear on this). I don’t think we should use words like “triggers” and “occasions for sin” in such a way as to deny or minimize personal responsibility for sin. I agree with you (and I think Jesus would agree on the basis of Mt 15:10-20) that tackling the heart issue is most important. But that entails a lot of dynamics and distinctions, so many that I wouldn’t characterize “tackling the heart issue” as a “silver bullet.” The predicament expressed by St. Paul in Romans 7:13-25 remains. Jesus Christ is a general Silver Bullet to evil, sin and concupiscence. I would say the heart is more like the starting point or fundamental battle ground for approaching the whole challenge. I’m using “heart” here in the classical Greek sense of the term (kardia): the seat of the personality, intellect, emotions, will, etc. And we always deal with the heart in the confessional. In her book, Killackey defines trigger as “something that causes us to seek relief in a sexual compulsion.” And I like that definition because it includes the word “causes.” Aquinas devotes four entire articles in the Summa to “The causes of sin, in general.” One of those articles is titled “Whether sin has an internal cause.” Consider his words here: “[T]he direct cause of. sin must be considered on the part of the act. Now we may distinguish a twofold internal cause of human acts, one remote, the other proximate. The proximate internal cause of the human act is the reason and will, in respect of which man has a free-will; while the remote cause is the apprehension of the sensitive part, and also the sensitive appetite. For just as it is due to the judgment of reason, that the will is moved to something in accord with reason, so it is due to an apprehension of the senses that the sensitive appetite is inclined to something; which inclination sometimes influences the will and reason, as we shall explain further… Accordingly a double interior cause of sin may be assigned; one proximate, on the part of the reason and will; and the other remote, on the part of the imagination or sensitive appetite.” I find this insight brilliant. Applying his wisdom, the language of “triggers” and “occasions of sin” address proximate causes of sin that excite the imagination or the sensitive appetite. But the person remains in control of his/her will. So it’s not an “either-or”, but a “both-and”. I also see nothing wrong with characterizing cognitive-behavioral therapy as a “bullet” that addresses sinful compulsive sexual behavior. Such therapy can assist our reason (clearer thinking) and build the virtue of prudence. All of which does relate to the heart, in the classical sense. Throw in grace fortifying the will (via the Sacrament of Penance or otherwise) and you’ve got a couple of bullets working in your favor.
This is just a small comment that I think is worth making - a lot of Catholic speakers emphasize every person's brokenness to the point of mortal sinfulness, but Our Lord has graced certain people, a very few people, with perfect continence with regard to mortal sin of any sort as a witness to His great mercy and power. These people may be few and far between, but to make sweeping statements like "we are all sexually broken" or "no one enters their vocation with perfect chastity" is factually not true and tends to minimize the incredible panoply of the tapestry God weaves through His grace. I am so grateful for the examples of St. Therese or St. Dominic Savio, who were both preserved in this way. The intimacy of Mary Magdalene with Our Lord was very different than the intimacy of the sinless John the Baptist, but He called them both to that intimacy and witness for different purposes.
Just because someone has not struggled outwardly through behavior with sexual sin does not mean that their sexuality is not broken in some way. No one is immune to the effects of original sin and the way that influences how we see ourselves as men and women. For me, sexual sin was preceded by feelings of discomfort and awkwardness and embarrassment about my womanhood throughout puberty as well as exposure to pornographic material as a young child that I certainly didn't understand at all. While I agree with you that some saints never committed mortal sins in the realm of sexuality, I disagree with you that we are not all sexually broken; we absolutely are ALL sexually broken (including ALL the saints), because we all are touched by original sin, the first effect of which was shame and shame in a particularly sexual way. I also think it's important to see the saints as real people, so I think it's ok to make sweeping statements about the way in which we're all somewhat broken and affected by sin. St. Therese, for example, was one of those saints that seemed more like a statue or an icon than a real person, until I realized (along with several others) that the odds are high she struggled with mental illness in her lifetime. How beautiful and wonderful to know that our God is one who makes all things new; whether sexual brokenness, personal tragedies, mental illness, etc...
See, I disagree on one thing; the deliverance ministries in my archdiocese are run by all women charimatics, which makes it difficult to discuss things from a man's life. I never felt comfortable with them. Yet, the meeting with a monastic community changed my life.
The Angelic Warfare Confraternity is great for prayer in healing imagination, the senses and much more. A set of 15 short prayers said everyday. You also have masses said for you and prayers from other members to help.
My favorite part of the interview was Rachel’s reaction to Matt giving her his copy of Mysteries of Christianity. She was more excited than Belle from Beauty and the Beast when she got a whole library 😂
In my work as a couple's counselor, I often talk about the impacts or porn and other erotica on women's sexual expression and marriages. One facet of how porn damages that was not ttouched on deeply is the ways that porn warps women's expectations if their own anatomy and physiology. This can damage the man the woman and the marriage e rven years after the porn use has stopped.
Read “psalms 51” 13x times. It will help you and also for conversion of others. A priest with charism told me this, it was revealed by the Holy Spirit to him.
Its actually really surprising to me to think that women can have the same issue. I think men have a huge disadvantage against porn in the sense that its much more alluring but I think men also have a big advantage against it because its MUCH less taboo to admit that your watching porn. Men also dont care about their social image nearly as much as women do. Porn is quite the drug.
Because there is this false notion that women do not experience lust or sexual temptations. We do just as much as men. The difference lies in how it manifests. With men it’s obviously more quick, they are supposed to lead and their organs are outward and more noticeable. With women it’s more feelings, takes more time and we are obviously encouraged and more capable to keep it to ourselves.
@@alqoshgirl and funnily enough, it's a fairly modern misconception. Women were considered the lustful, untrustworthy sex for the longest time. It's a strange reversal. Even as late as the 1850's, women were forbidden from attending life drawing classes because of the nude models. The prevailing opinion was that men had self-control and were led by the intellect, but women were lascivious and irrational creatures which had to be protected, like children who try to play in the street.
Do you mean like time of day? Or are you referring to an actual monthly cycle? Curious because I always thought men's hormones stayed pretty steady while women's shifted with their cycle based on fertility at times of the month.
UA-cam is the only type of social media I follow, and it’s been curbed to religious content, nourishing or calm music, and a few political channels that present matters objectively and without riling me up to much. And random content, such as a goldfish breeder right now 😅 still trying to figure that one out as I don’t even have any fish lol. From what I can tell, SM like Twitter and Instagram really are toxic for people. I’ve seen my political channels get banned from their SM for “wrong think,” and they ironically ended up with much better content and have healthier attitudes about life. One of them said going into Twitter was “like constantly fighting” and thanks the ban for helping him get back into philosophy, focus on his family, and steer his course to starting up a more lucrative news business. As to the actual topic, I didn’t even realize I was going down the porn path until it just hit me one day. I’ve never been into romance novels or anything, as my tomboyish mindset was more geared to action and fantasy. However, I do link my initial porn intro due to certain types of anime and fanfiction. Off the bat, I don’t see a problem with anime in general as it’s entertainment like anything the US or Europe can come up with. There’s good and wholesome stuff out there, and then there’s the dark corners people know and joke about but then get offended when it’s rightfully called out to the mainstream. The cultural differences between the US and Japan means there are some things either side can find ‘offensive’ or ‘prudish.’ This lead to me watching certain tropes, interactions, and scenarios that “intrigued” me. I made my way to fan made stories because I loved reading and writing growing up, and it was fun reading different interpretations of scenes, exploring “what ifs,” and sometimes correcting problems from the show/movie. Long story short, I ended up reading stories with more “fluff” content and it escalated to actively seeking the ‘not safe for work (NSFW)’ stuff. It got to a point where I could barely watch shows without thinking “yep, there’s definitely some Rule 34 online” or “I bet someone has already made soft porn of this.” It definitely affected my mood, the way I watched entertainment, and led me to searching up phrases and words I never would have searched on my own 🫣😳 Fortunately, I found myself falling deeper into my faith and was able to stop myself pretty cold turkey. I still watch some anime, but am very picky on the type and genre and filter out any stories that could trigger me. A very unfortunate fact, though, is that modern cartoons and animation are actually a hotbed for introducing such themes to people. Unless it’s clearly labeled ‘adult’ or ‘for mature audiences only,’ most people especially parents don’t vet what their children watch as well as they should. And with kids being more online these days, they’ll look up stuff related to their favorite shows and movies, discover the decent and degenerate options, and start down the porn path. It’s something I’m on the look out for, and is why I still write and publish my own fan works. Partially because it gives me a chance to explore my favorite entertainment, and to provide more wholesome content for people like my younger self. Currently working on a few projects with a focus on action and “filing in the blanks” for one of my childhood shows. Almost a quarter of what I see story-wise is soft porn among some of the main characters, who are freakin MINORS in the show. Another thing to watch out for in regards to animation now a days, the weird obsession with LGBT+ representation and blatant sexual fetishism for under aged characters 🤢🤢
Coming from the male perspective- it's comparatively rare for us to have a problem with written stuff. Men are visual-oriented. But in my own work to rid myself of the _heart issue_ I can say that I've succeeded in changing how I see visual depictions of real people (photos, videos). What used to excite me now disgusts me, because I think about the people and how sad and painful their stories are. I feel ashamed because I'm contributing to their problems. And it's easy, at that point, to stop or to puah it away for longer. So for me, a difficult roadblock to overcome has been the part of my mind that tries to "cheat" - and even though it never interested me before, I have only ever had a problem since then with the situations I imagine in my mind. Sotuations, interactions between completely imaginary people, stuff that I never even write down. Fantasies. It is something that always ultimately leads back to the more obvious stuff -- pictures, videos, etc. But it's hard for me to draw the line where I should because there's no victim. I've been trying to shift my thinking away from the goal of stopping or suppressing a behaviour towards a positive goal of _becoming the sort of person who doesn't have to keep secrets_ . That's been the best strategy for me. Focus on making the best version of myself and removing anything that causes shame or guilt or regret, even if I can't really understand why it's wrong or convince myself that it is. I apologize for going on such a long tangent, but it's interesting to me, reading your experience, because I don't think there are many people making resources for that, or resources that get at the "heart problem" that leads there. Even though it's something I'm not interested in, now that it's the devil's only shot at harming me, I think i could benefit from resources to combat it.
Depends on the influencer of course, I feel like the ones that get deeper into theology are the best, but I recently had an experience where this Catholic influencer that just connects random thoughts to the faith etc and talks about kindness and all that stuff, basically treated me like and old rag after we’ve had several conversations about a myriad of things for I think over a year, and it’s so easy for them to hide behind the block button. Honestly terrible stuff, really makes you wonder which are actually Catholic.
Thank you for the message. The problem with this interview is how it is conducted for people who have not watched the first part of the discussion. I do wish that she shared her story for people who have not seen the first part. The majority of the interview was not about pron and the struggle, which is a huge miss.
Question for the gals in the comments willing to open up about this addiction. Is it significantly different for women in terms of psychology to guys? Like are we both dealing with the same issue, or do men and women suffer different aspects of porn addiction. For me it was an emotional crutch to blot out loneliness and the physical stimulation obviously. Not sure if it’s a similar slippery slope to fall down starting from emotional distress combined with physical pleasure and it starts. Also we all know based on Dr. Peterson’s analysis, men are very visual based and women have a mental base like romance novels being the main female porn fantasy while men it’s more like a control power fantasy. Just my thought and would like to hear how y’all perspective could shine light on this pit.
Honestly I think women are a lot more "visual based" than men realize. I didn't even know what sex was the first time I saw pornography so I was not turning to it for romantic reasons - and yet it really drew me in and got me stuck. I definitely used porn as a way to distance myself from my emotions for several years and although arousal was probably happening on some level I was too dissociated from my own body to notice it for many of those years (never engaged in masturbation). I do think that there are some parts of a woman's struggle with sexual sin that are different from a man's, but I also think there's FAR more overlap than difference - and that's true on a neurological level about our brains. Are the brains of men and women somewhat different? Sure. But they are much more alike than they are different and absolutely both men and women are engaging in compulsive sexual behavior for reasons of intimacy and emotion regulation - because those are two of the good things we look for in marital sex but can't find through porn, masturbation, fantasy, etc...
@@maryjocarney786thank you for your response, and opening up about your experience. We can all gladly sit here and say this sin sucks, and it’s leeched onto our souls wether we want it there or not. So between men and women, we are both affected by the visual stimulation of it, and it then roots into our psychology in different ways for personal reasons making this more complicated than is has to be. I have to admit the first real time I was exposed to anything I can recall pornographic was those pop up ads on arcade game websites, or sexually charged cartoon drawings on posters, ads, etc. This issue is rooted hard in advertising and is the first time I can remember seeing a hot chick in lingerie even as jokes in comedy skits. To me it seems in recent years especially after coming back to church, I’ve noticed how bad things are in the culture seeing every deadly sin on full blast and turned up to 100. With the internet, pride and porn are rampant, fast food and bad eating habits fuel gluttony, corporate business if founded on greed, social media on envy, and national pride and politics on wrath. Then of course we have sloth and gaming culture and smart devices, binging TV. Part of me feels hopeless and then I’m reminded of how Jesus is gonna redeem everyone even more when the second coming happens. So that’s what gives me hope.
@@maryjocarney786They’re not much more alike at all if masturbation isn’t involved. And as a factual matter men are far more visual than women especially with sex.
I'm sorry do men think that women don't masturbate ? Because they do I've known of several women who use porn in the same way men do . I think this might be why it ads to the shame for women because people think women don't feel desire but only just want love. what it is women want both love and desire to be combined ,ideally
@@Earthtime3978I disagree with the notion women are far less visual than men. If this was true why do all the entertainment marketed to women contain aesthetically pleasing people, products and sets? Look at rom-coms, romances, perfume ads, makeup ads and the entire fashion industry. All fueled by beautiful people doing beautiful things. The consumer is largely women. Even action movies have handsome, muscular men showing off their bodies, e.g. MCU. That's almost entirely for women. I'm tired of this false trope
There is a HUNGER from young women to have a woman show them how to be a wife and mother and live biblical marriage. There are people who do that type of content badly. And there are many who don't and who have helped young women. (Titus 2:3-5) If a woman showing their clean home is triggering then it's perhaps something to have some self reflection about. If we are only speaking about "inFLuEnCeRs", then fine. But I can assure you, the constant comments from feminists definitely can sour feminine content creators from wanting criticism from a stranger. When I have people in my comments saying being a homemaker is dragging down the whole of women, or that I'm creating helpless toxic sons, or dooming my daughter to SLAVERY....yeah, I stick to my own spiritual director and people who know me. Content about how to navigate motherhood and homemaking isn't inherently preaching and narcissistic.
You have a point. I can also see it being an issue, because I would imagine there will be some content that shows an almost unrealistic standard (assuming they only put their best online, not the daily reality). I see pros and cons to it, but I think you can be right especially if it is older (or perhaps I should say more experienced) mothers created this kind if content to set a good example.
@@Brian17177 there are absolutely some who only show the good side (which adults can discern if they need to pass by that content), but there are a LOT of us who show daily life in all it's facets. I've been on TikTok making content for two years, with 36k followers, and I'm in a community of other similar creators. We have women thanking us daily for showing them the tasks their mothers failed to teach, for showing how to manage a home, etc. Then we also get comments from angry feminists and/or women who clearly have their own guilt to work out. Which is probably why this woman's criticism wasn't received well if she set forth the same attitude about content creators she showed here. People can't often hide their true feelings as well as they think they can. There seems to be a wide gulf between what young women need to see (life skills) and what conversations like this say they need. Fluffy content only goes so far, which she fully admits about her own work. Women don't just need pats on the back, new mom or not. And while I can't physically go to everyone's home (though I do in my own community) I CAN make a video about how to quickly tidy a living room or bathroom and give advice about cleaning schedules. 🥰 Women do have to discern who they follow on media, but we shouldn't assume if they see a clean kitchen they will want to off themselves. That's a wall of text, I know. 😅 I feel strongly about this after years of helping women online. It's also a pot calling a kettle black bc Matt absolutely is a Catholic influencer.
It’s only by the grace of God, that your organizations in this world exist. So that we can see Christ and thusly GodChristHolySpirit it would be better if your obsession was with and in Christ
@@fireballgarcia1281 a bit awkward to discuss but its the nature of the beast. You write a letter to every girl you get off to. I guarantee by the time it's in the mail you'll think twice in the future. You just take the thing you are ashamed of, and you hand it to the person you wronged. I had an experience meeting a famous girl, just hung out for a bit at work, my addiction was gone by the end of the day because I just realized how bad her life would be in the future. Imagine the girl you see having a son, then imagine her son being shown a video of her performing. I could go on for hours but it's gross to think about and a bit embarrassing. Porn is dehumanizing by nature, anything that helps you view them as a human is working towards the solution
@@fireballgarcia1281 to answer your question as simply as possible, you write the letter to the girl you are addicted to watching. This breaks the secrecy, like opening up an infected wound to let it clean out
I think what would put a lot of women off is? You blame a mystical figure called Satan for their addiction, and act & sound using references to God as almost above those your trying to help.
As someone who has no problem with porn, I rarely consume it. Perhaps because there's no temptation? It not being a "forbidden fruit" to me? I read a statistic- I believe in Pornhub's annual statistics report- that Utah of all places had the highest porn consumption rate per capita out of any state. Conservative, religious, Christian Utah. Go figure, right?
If anyone's confused, I'm not a Christian. In case you're trying to figure out how I could be ambivalent towards porn and yet be Christian at the same time.
This is a variation of the fallacious theoretical framework that underpins the sexual Revolution. “If everyone just open up man, it will be utopia, if it feels good do it man, don’t be a prude, you only feel bad about your actions because of the repressive society, man” No need to consider the catastrophic decline in birth rates, marriage, happiness and the explosion of drug addiction and suicide since the 60’s. It’s obviously a complicated matrix of factors, but sexual degradation is a significant. The idea that we were worse off as a society when people mostly kept it in their pants is laughable.
*Mormon not Christian But yeah, the forbidden fruit angle is definitely a factor. People are forbidden, the subject is tabboo- so children can't talk to their parents about it. Never do something, as a parent, that encourages your children to hide from you. For what it's worth, Matt Fradd is actually really consistent and outspoken about parental communication regarding the subject. He made some videos about it on his Victory channel.
I don’t struggle with porn but I think woman struggle finding a real male leader role/ relationship. Hence why woman loved fifty shades of grey and Dom/submissive books. I think they want traditional male & female roles so they get it from porn because they don’t have it? Idk ladies tell me if this is true?
I disagree somewhat. Some of us who get hooked on porn are actually just attracted to it for the same reasons men are (pleasure, emotion regulation, loneliness, boredom), and I think there's a danger to the idea that traditional gender roles can fully solve the problems men and women encounter in their sexuality. Ultimately, a healthy marital relationship is about mutual self giving not strict roles where one is all dominant and the other all submissive. I think many women turn to dom/submissive fantasies and sex practices because they are fueled by lust - the lust of a man "dominating" a woman as though she is his sex object, and I also think that some women turn to these fantasies because they are not being seen fully or treated with equal regard within the marital act. Food for thought...
Wish her the best, however, her use of language and her unadulterated reliance on the language of the therapeutic is unappealing and problematical in the end.
What did you have in mind that was wrong? It seemed like she used really useful and accurate language. If by reliance on therapeutic terms you mean “not addressing the spiritual dimension” I disagree as she talked about that quite a bit.
@@fireballgarcia1281 I never said "wrong" I did call it unappealing and problematical and it is. There is a sense of identity as trauma or identity as illness and relying on therapeutic language when in actuality the etiology of the disorder is spiritual can lead one down rabbit holes.
@@MJK2600 We are mind, body, AND spirit. I fail to see how any disordered behavior or sin can be strictly spiritual in terms of its etiology when human beings are not strictly spiritual. What you're implying here actually suggests an unhealthy mindset called mind-body dualism that's led many to believe their bodies are bad and only their spirit can be good, which, funnily enough, often contributes to people continuing along a road of disordered sexual sin. Furthermore I can assure you that this woman finds her identity in being a daughter of God and not trauma, she's a good friend of mine.
@@maryjocarney786 I never used the term "strictly". However, my perspective is shaped by an Aristotelian-Thomist understanding of soul (or anima: spirit). The soul is the form of the body. A soul (spirit) makes a human person to be what it is. We are embodied souls -- a composite of body and soul. That being said, the body and soul aren't exactly on equal footing. The soul is primary and it gives unity to the whole: The soul -- the form -- actualizes the body -- the matter. My earlier point was not dualistic in any way because that would presuppose the equality of form and matter. The language of therapy is deterministic and more often than not it treats and focuses on the symptoms but ignores the underlying root cause.
Their comments on social media and being a new mom ring SO true. I had my first last July and it took all of three days to realize how much even the greatest Catholic moms on Instagram made me resent and hate myself during the most joyful and glorious period of my life. Never ever going back. Choosing to trust in our Lord and leaning into Mothers intuition has been so fruitful for me. 🤍
I wish people would stop saying that they struggled with porn and masturbation, when they really enjoyed porn and masturbation and struggled with their conscience afterwards.
You’re both talking platitudes there’s not Christ and what you’re saying about others or for that matter yourself. Where is free will that only God gives! Are you shocked by what you hear Satan using from our frail files?
Imagine being so accomplished and helping so many people by age 25. What a remarkable young woman
Magdala has changed the course of my (broken) relationship to sexuality and addiction. Thanks be to God for Rachael and the whole team.
Candace Owens just responded to Matt and Prager’s dispute about porn! It was really cool to see her totally defend Matt and speak out about the danger of pornography
Link?
ua-cam.com/video/W0gImoTC3qo/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/W0gImoTC3qo/v-deo.htmlsi=BhZxMPxulvnZMNYQ @@jesseholthaus8357
I suddenly just remembered that it was actually a random girl at school that introduced me to the world of animated pornography back in 2004. I really need to pray for that girl.
Oh boy, wait til you visit Mandarake
I love Matt’s perspective of having compassion on younger self. So easy to suppress younger trauma. Regular confession to pick up this cross is incredible. Christ’s mercy is real and heals us.
As a guy, it’s really great to see women speaking out against pornography from a place of experience, compassion, and recovery. For me personally, a real contributing factor to the shame of porn addiction is the false idea that porn is mostly a male struggle and that women all look down on men who fight this addiction. While that may be true of some women, I think that it’s too easy to project that onto all women because of the lack of discussion about the woman’s side of porn addiction.
For that reason, I find so much peace and feel so seen when pornography is discussed from a woman’s perspective. Further, it helps me feel more desirable and helps crush the porn-created paradigm that I’m undesirable to women.
I think over time the benefits of open discussion between the sexes about this sin will only continue to manifest themselves, and that excites me.
I love that Rachael actually takes a few seconds to answer some of the deeper "why" questions that she's asked. Doesnt just pop off with the first thing that comes to mind. She understands that truly knowing yourself is a continuous process.
Thank you Lord for Magdala Ministries and Rachael! My first small group meeting was this week ❤️
It's a terrible habit - easy to fall into and hard to break. The internet is everywhere
@Angela Preteen curiosity is how I found pornography. I've been watching it for 21-22 years. I'm 32. I read erotic reading material, look at erotic art, pornography, looking at both sexes nude or semi nude. It's my weekly sin. I didn't think it was "that bad" until this morning. I think the culprit is too much time on the internet and too much curiosity. I wonder how this will affect my marriage. I think of how I'll disappoint my husband. I think of the ways it altered my sexuality. I wonder how God feels about self inflicted suffering. Some people's suffering comes from the outside. I think I am usually responsible for my suffering. It is self inflicted. I really like Rachael's honesty.
@@IONov990 hi there. Thank you for your honesty. My story is a little similar to yours. It's hard to let go of . Still struggling. I hope God grants us healing soon, or at least propels us to the path towards it ( I would like to think I am already on that path but i can't say for sure). Actually it's Rachel's first interview on Pints with Aquinas that made me finally admit to myself that I indeed have a problem.
I choose porn over the eucharist. I almost think praying is pointless. I know this may sound dramatic but I feel disgusted with myself. Three times I've acted out what I saw in porn and IT ENDED HORRIBLY. I am 32 and I really don't think I should date until I'm done with this habit. I'm getting older and I'm wondering if I'll ever get married and have children. I am very interested in Magdala ministry but I want COMPLETE ANONYMITY.
Recovering 34 year old Porn addict here, almost a year clean. I cant recommend covenant eyes enough, and switching to an android phone which works better with covenant eyes. Finding a good accountability partner is important as well. My mom is my accountability partner. Shes awesome.
@@IONov990 I will pray for you IO that you and many women who have gone through similar experiences like yourself will recover from the harm that pornography has caused you. I pray that you will find a righteous husband and your sexuality might be restored as God intended it.
I'm a 19 year old man who's been porn free for 2 years now and I still suffer from some of its effects as well, but there is hope. God bless.
Recovering 34 year old porn addict here. Been clean almost a year now. I cant recommend covenant eyes enough, especially on an android phone, which works better with covenant eyes. In addition putting a passcode on the smart TV and not having a computer in the home. The most important step in recovery is telling the people who care about you, and asking them to help you. My wife has the passcode to the TV, and my mom is my covenant eyes accountability partner. I hope this comment helps someone, and I pray that the Lord sustain me, Lord Jesus Christ, son of God have mercy on me a sinner.
Magdala has given me an amazing relationship with an accountability partner and a beautiful group to share with ❤
So hard to quit . Thank you for this video.
While one should not go into a marriage with a porn addiction, I think one reason these addictions are so prevalent is because modern society is extremely counter to human biology. Our ancestors generally married as teenagers, whereas us moderns grow up in an extremely pornographic society and are told to wait, wait, wait while our hormones rage. It’s a problem none of us can really address, but I think this issue of porn and masturbation addiction in the West won’t stop until society reorganizes around biology once again. Society is hostile to children and marriage. I hope my kids are lucky enough to find good Catholic spouses when they’re college-aged and minimally suffer the meat grinder experience of modern culture that works against the goals of channeling one’s sexuality properly.
I think there is a LOT to this. Absolutely ⬆️
Yeah, this is obvious and it's ironic considering the atheistic outlook people have. If you believe in evolution (to be fair, many or most Christians, including myself, do) -- shouldn't you look to the _hundreds of thousands of years_ of human evolution for answers about how we ought to live? But no one ever does.
Lol no people did not get married as teenagers
@@wormwoodcocktail maybe not as 13 year olds, but nobody would bqt an eye at 17, 18, 19 and that's still teenager
@@wormwoodcocktail correct. That was only common within the nobility and even then they would have to wait to come together so pregnancy could be safer for the woman.
What a beautiful conversation. Thank u God for Magdala. And thank you God for Rachel.
Magdala gave me a community of sisters who understand me and pray for me and are on this journey with me, together.
There was a huge group of women who loved fifty shades of grey and they would talk about at church an work so yes women struggle with lust , prayer for all who struggle
Love, love. Love Rachael Killackey and Magdala Ministries!!! It has been such a blessing to my life!! 😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This interview breaks and mends my heart over and over. Porn really does cause so much damage and robs so many of hope
It blows my mind that I've NEVER heard of Magdala ! I struggled with pornography addiction and that's how I came across Pints with Aquinas. Even though a lot of the help was geared more towards men I really was able to apply it to myself but man I often wondered how helpful it would be to have something for women because it is just not talked about at all but we are struggling with the same addictions. Praise God for your ministry, I pray that you'll continue to grow and reach more and more souls who are in dire need of this ministry, God bless!
Listening to Rachael gives me so much joy because I don't feel alone in how I think and the kind of person I want to become. Thank you so having her on this podcast, Matt!
So many helpful sub topics were addressed here. Healing imagination spoke to me on an extremely personal level and I'm so thankful for that being addressed here. What I found the most healing for my imagination was reading Tolkien and writing my own short stories. I was so filled with wonder as a child and feel that time in highschool and college KILLED it. I'm still healing and college was awhile ago now, but seeing my little daughter so filled with wonder and interest just makes me want to wrap her in my arms and protect her from the world most days. Women do struggle and I'm so thankful there's a ministry for this. Because years ago I knew people who needed it and they didn't feel they had a safe place to go. I also wanted to say THANK YOU MATT for addressing how toxic influencers can be for young Mamas. Even these lovely Catholic moms have said things and shown things that have been harmful to me as a new mom. UA-cam is my only social media now and I may even ditch UA-cam. Because I do not want to encourage envy or insecurities in myself, ya know? To all the young moms out there, sending you love and support!!
This is such a wonderful comment! We have such innocent and playful imaginations as children. It is sad that things like porn can corrupt our minds and turn them against us. I have had to do a lot of work to heal my own mind. Reading your comment reminded me how much I used to like to read fantasy stories as a kid, and I feel that that is something I would love to return to doing instead of just spending free time scrolling on social media.
You write? What genre? I want to be an author. I want to recapture the innocence of youth, loving your friends, and feeling hopeful about the future. Sin is a very real part of our existence. I almost think the only way for a main character to be entertaining if she is cruel, promiscuous, and selfish. Of course she's incredibly sexy. It seems a lot of adult novels include sex
34:46 This hits hard. Listen twice and reflect on your online presence. I needed to.😞
Thank you for this wonderful interview and the humility displayed here!. I just ordered the book to share it with my daughters! God is good!
God bless Rachael! She is doing great work
I like the explanation of Till We Have Faces in relation to if prayer is enough. It delves into that prayer can be enough once we get to a point where we can be honest and present our true self to God. And it is through ministries like this that a person can get to a point where they can be truly vulnerable with God and be open to receiving that love and affirmation from Our Lord.
55:19 thank you so much
I’ve started tracking my cycle a few months ago in relation to this sin, and I thought I was using it as an excuse but thanks for affirming that my intuition has some truth. It helped me understand where my compulsion comes from (since I’ve been trying my best to get rid of my triggers so I didn’t know what else to do). It’s not a quick fix, but for sure helpful. Thank you!
While listening to this today, I stopped the recording and thanked God for saving me from this rabbit hole.
Before I was too far into porn, I gave it up one Lenten season and never went back.
Rachel you are wonderful. Praise be to God!
Rachael came to my university to speak, and the perspective she gave was very insightful. Thank you both, Matt and Rachael, for spreading awareness to this issue.
Billie Eilish - singer , spoke against pornography and how it ruined her childhood.
I want to comment on the question "what can men do to support women who struggle with porn addiction?" because I feel like there were things left unsaid. I think men need to tell women how freaking beautiful they are, in a sincere and meaningful and completely chaste way, and I think our dear sisters probably crave that message and should hear it often. We certainly need to keep vigilant to avoid near occasions of sin, so it is certainly wise to avoid placing men and women in situations where they are likely to sin together, but I think we need to recognize that we ultimately really need each other and are configured for each other. I think we need chaste friendships with members of the opposite sex to fully actualize in sexual maturity and heal the damage done by porn and the pornified world. I am a man who struggled with porn for years, and very much am still yearning to fully heal from the wounds it left. After my first few months of sobriety, I was kind of overwhelmed by how distractingly beautiful I found women! My response to seeing their beauty was fear - fear that it would lead me into sin again. While I think that's an appropriate response for a time, we can't live life that way for long. Now I see a beautiful woman and I just thank God for creating her, allowing me to behold his lovely daughter, and say a quick prayer for her that she will persevere in chastity and glorify God with her life. These days I wish there were some forum where I could actually tell all the girls how beautiful I think they are, like in a co-ed church group for adults who have struggled with sexual sin. Is that crazy or dangerous? I'm a very happily married man and I wouldn't want to give the impression that I'm trying to have an affair or build up any kind of inappropriate relationship. My gut just tells me that we need to figure out how to do this if we want to heal. God bless all of you dear women who have struggled with porn, and I am sorry for all the hurt and pain you've experienced from the men in your lives who didn't tell you how beautiful you are when you needed to hear it! God love you and bless, my dear sweet sisters! Thank you, Rachel, for the great work you're doing! Glory to Jesus Christ, now and forever.
That was so beautiful. Just wow! I absolutely agree with you and I think a lot of young women, especially women who produce sexual content, need to know there are men who don't want anything from them and can be a brother to them. It makes us feel seen and safe.
Thank you both for this wonderful conversation.
Recent conversation between Michael Knowles and Joshua Broome about this was fantastic as well
Love conversation! Thank you so much for sharing ❤
I LOVED Rachel. I listened to both interviews and I can't even explain how validated I feel now in my feelings, thoughts and opinions because of many things you guys said. I was feeling like the only woman going through that stuff, the identity crisis, feeling less feminine, the confusing predominant narrative in the Church, the traumas, social media, influencers... I just felt you guys were my long-time friends. Before listening to the first interview with Rachel I felt so alone in my thoughts, my opinions on women and sexual sin, social media, feminity, sin and marriage, etc. Before hearing about Magdala (I haven't tried it yet), I would just keep thinking that something was completely wrong with me for struggling with something that was a "man struggle", now I know that, even with my sins and traumas, I'm not a phenomenon and that there's hope. God bless you guys, I seriously loved these interviews.
I came to the video version just to see if Thursday did the promo code well.
You did good sir, well done.
She needs to get on Michael Knowles show.
Candace Owens and Allie Beth Stuckey's too
"Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is that you're an idiot" lol that's gold, I'm totally going to use that
Thank you for working on this, it’s very needed! And lovely conversation!
What a good show! Thank you 🤙👊
That promo code at the end, though... Excellent job, Thursday
When Rachel mentioned how many women are on OnlyFans this quote came to my head:
Spengler's Universal Law #9: A country isn't beaten until it sells its women, but it's damned when its women sell themselves.
Don't watch the young mom blogs... find the old moms find the 55 year old mama who has 10 kids and a good chunk or life under her belt.... you will feel so much better. It's like having a internet grandma. Their advice works.
Jerome Kodell, in his book Life Lessons From the Monastery, tells a story about a young man struggling with prayer and remembering scripture. "A monk gave him a wicker basket and told him to fill it with sand, place it outside the door and every day pour a bucket of water over it. The young man did so and dound that each time some of the sand would leak out of the basket. After months of this the basket was clean. He reported this to his spiritual father and the monk said, "my son, you are the basket. The sand is your sinfulness, your pride, your unhappiness. The water is the word of God. The basket doesn't remember the water that gradually cleansed it, neither do you remember every word of scripture you read. But if you continue to pour the water of God's word over your sinfulness, someday you to will be clean." Prayer may not be the quick fix we want. But each time we pray God makes us stronger and prepares us for our victory.
27:15 as a man I am entirely guilty of this and it led me down to philosophical egoism for a long time.
Rachael you’re a gem 💎 blessings to you and your family Jeremiah 33:3
Not really any silver bullets as was said, but there are many bullets of different calibers, and they add up. Finding the best combination of bullets for each person is important. One of them, which I don't think is thought through enough, is really thinking about how to apply Jesus' firm advice in Mt 5:27-30 to this problem. Scrutinizing weaknesses, triggers, occasions (including use of social media), contexts, and practical means of putting oneself in the best position to resist and push through. And Rachael touches on this in her new book. I'm glad she has a section on learning one's triggers, including how the phone can be an occasion for sin. So many people treat their phones today like an extension of their hand. Mt 5:27-30 may be applied here; it may be time to cut it off.
I don't think I agree with this. Why shouldn't there be a "silver bullet"? Maybe we just haven't found it.
But what bothers me is the idea behind "triggers" and "occasions for sin". No, that's wrong. That's blaming your own sin on other people. A beautiful woman is not an occasion for sin for me. A picture of a woman is not a trigger. The trigger and the occasion for sin are my bad desires.
If you take a serial killer off the street, isolate him from others and remove every kind of weapon from his confinement- he will still be full of murderous intentions. So what if he is unable to act on them?
People make the mistake of treating porn like a substance absue problem - all you need to do is quit using, quit consuming, and the addiction goes away. That may be true of cigarettes or alcohol. But it isn't true of porn. Sexual desire never goes away (and if it does, you have a worse problem on your hand than porn). It doesn't go away because it isn't caused by the object of your desire (the woman), but rather, by yourself. A chemical addiction is caused by the thing itself. You can become "addicted" in the sense of a spike in anxiety, a persistent urge, a feeling of compulsion -- and that is a bit like a chemical addiction (the chemicals being your own brains natural reward system gone haywire). But that is the only part that changes when you quit "using". And in fact, it's the least important thing that needs to be changed. The heart issue is what really matters.
And that's kinda what I was getting at with the pushback about the "silver bullet". No one trues to solve the porn problem by addressing the heart issue. It's always about controlling the behaviour. What use is that? It's producing a legion of ex-addicts who can't actually control themselves around the forbudden substance, so they swear it off forever. They're like alcoholics who drive the long way home from work to avoid driving past the liquor store. No! You aren't free until you don't care whether there's a liquor store or not! All you have to do, after all, is not go in!
And this is the example I use because you are always on a street with a liquor store. There's millions of porn sites out there, and millions of smartphones, tablets, computers, etc..
The silver bullet is tackling the heart issue. That's the only thing that matters.
@@josephbrandenburg4373 I appreciate the concern and engagement. The ideas behind “triggers” and “occasions for sin” do not amount to transferring responsibility for personal sin to others. I am not saying we shouldn’t take responsibility for sin (we should and Jesus is clear on this). I don’t think we should use words like “triggers” and “occasions for sin” in such a way as to deny or minimize personal responsibility for sin. I agree with you (and I think Jesus would agree on the basis of Mt 15:10-20) that tackling the heart issue is most important. But that entails a lot of dynamics and distinctions, so many that I wouldn’t characterize “tackling the heart issue” as a “silver bullet.” The predicament expressed by St. Paul in Romans 7:13-25 remains.
Jesus Christ is a general Silver Bullet to evil, sin and concupiscence. I would say the heart is more like the starting point or fundamental battle ground for approaching the whole challenge. I’m using “heart” here in the classical Greek sense of the term (kardia): the seat of the personality, intellect, emotions, will, etc. And we always deal with the heart in the confessional.
In her book, Killackey defines trigger as “something that causes us to seek relief in a sexual compulsion.” And I like that definition because it includes the word “causes.” Aquinas devotes four entire articles in the Summa to “The causes of sin, in general.” One of those articles is titled “Whether sin has an internal cause.” Consider his words here: “[T]he direct cause of. sin must be considered on the part of the act. Now we may distinguish a twofold internal cause of human acts, one remote, the other proximate. The proximate internal cause of the human act is the reason and will, in respect of which man has a free-will; while the remote cause is the apprehension of the sensitive part, and also the sensitive appetite. For just as it is due to the judgment of reason, that the will is moved to something in accord with reason, so it is due to an apprehension of the senses that the sensitive appetite is inclined to something; which inclination sometimes influences the will and reason, as we shall explain further… Accordingly a double interior cause of sin may be assigned; one proximate, on the part of the reason and will; and the other remote, on the part of the imagination or sensitive appetite.”
I find this insight brilliant. Applying his wisdom, the language of “triggers” and “occasions of sin” address proximate causes of sin that excite the imagination or the sensitive appetite. But the person remains in control of his/her will. So it’s not an “either-or”, but a “both-and”. I also see nothing wrong with characterizing cognitive-behavioral therapy as a “bullet” that addresses sinful compulsive sexual behavior. Such therapy can assist our reason (clearer thinking) and build the virtue of prudence. All of which does relate to the heart, in the classical sense. Throw in grace fortifying the will (via the Sacrament of Penance or otherwise) and you’ve got a couple of bullets working in your favor.
This is just a small comment that I think is worth making - a lot of Catholic speakers emphasize every person's brokenness to the point of mortal sinfulness, but Our Lord has graced certain people, a very few people, with perfect continence with regard to mortal sin of any sort as a witness to His great mercy and power. These people may be few and far between, but to make sweeping statements like "we are all sexually broken" or "no one enters their vocation with perfect chastity" is factually not true and tends to minimize the incredible panoply of the tapestry God weaves through His grace. I am so grateful for the examples of St. Therese or St. Dominic Savio, who were both preserved in this way. The intimacy of Mary Magdalene with Our Lord was very different than the intimacy of the sinless John the Baptist, but He called them both to that intimacy and witness for different purposes.
Just because someone has not struggled outwardly through behavior with sexual sin does not mean that their sexuality is not broken in some way. No one is immune to the effects of original sin and the way that influences how we see ourselves as men and women. For me, sexual sin was preceded by feelings of discomfort and awkwardness and embarrassment about my womanhood throughout puberty as well as exposure to pornographic material as a young child that I certainly didn't understand at all. While I agree with you that some saints never committed mortal sins in the realm of sexuality, I disagree with you that we are not all sexually broken; we absolutely are ALL sexually broken (including ALL the saints), because we all are touched by original sin, the first effect of which was shame and shame in a particularly sexual way. I also think it's important to see the saints as real people, so I think it's ok to make sweeping statements about the way in which we're all somewhat broken and affected by sin. St. Therese, for example, was one of those saints that seemed more like a statue or an icon than a real person, until I realized (along with several others) that the odds are high she struggled with mental illness in her lifetime. How beautiful and wonderful to know that our God is one who makes all things new; whether sexual brokenness, personal tragedies, mental illness, etc...
Oh yay... she's coming back
Matt's pretty good at talking to everybody. Whether they're in their 20s or 80s. Lets get a teen in there haha
See, I disagree on one thing; the deliverance ministries in my archdiocese are run by all women charimatics, which makes it difficult to discuss things from a man's life. I never felt comfortable with them. Yet, the meeting with a monastic community changed my life.
The Angelic Warfare Confraternity is great for prayer in healing imagination, the senses and much more. A set of 15 short prayers said everyday. You also have masses said for you and prayers from other members to help.
My favorite part of the interview was Rachel’s reaction to Matt giving her his copy of Mysteries of Christianity. She was more excited than Belle from Beauty and the Beast when she got a whole library 😂
In my work as a couple's counselor, I often talk about the impacts or porn and other erotica on women's sexual expression and marriages. One facet of how porn damages that was not ttouched on deeply is the ways that porn warps women's expectations if their own anatomy and physiology. This can damage the man the woman and the marriage e rven years after the porn use has stopped.
Women Struggle With P*rn Too…2
reading I Believe In Love right now
Best book ever.
Aside from Sacred Scripture
Read “psalms 51” 13x times. It will help you and also for conversion of others. A priest with charism told me this, it was revealed by the Holy Spirit to him.
Psalm 51 is very helpful. 🙏🏻
It's hard to hold people accountable
If you do not know their name
Its actually really surprising to me to think that women can have the same issue. I think men have a huge disadvantage against porn in the sense that its much more alluring but I think men also have a big advantage against it because its MUCH less taboo to admit that your watching porn. Men also dont care about their social image nearly as much as women do. Porn is quite the drug.
Because there is this false notion that women do not experience lust or sexual temptations. We do just as much as men. The difference lies in how it manifests. With men it’s obviously more quick, they are supposed to lead and their organs are outward and more noticeable. With women it’s more feelings, takes more time and we are obviously encouraged and more capable to keep it to ourselves.
@@alqoshgirl
No you don't
@@alqoshgirl and funnily enough, it's a fairly modern misconception. Women were considered the lustful, untrustworthy sex for the longest time. It's a strange reversal. Even as late as the 1850's, women were forbidden from attending life drawing classes because of the nude models. The prevailing opinion was that men had self-control and were led by the intellect, but women were lascivious and irrational creatures which had to be protected, like children who try to play in the street.
@@alqoshgirlIt’s self created. Women try to keep up that image. Men have nothing to do with women stuffing there sexual desires.
Sorry Matt, men absolutely do have a hormone cycle.
As a guy I definitely did that in my own recovery. Where I was able to anticipate the temptations.
Do you mean like time of day? Or are you referring to an actual monthly cycle? Curious because I always thought men's hormones stayed pretty steady while women's shifted with their cycle based on fertility at times of the month.
@@Brian17177iirc there is a daily testosterone cycle related to the sleep cycle
@Alifarliam okay that would make sense.
@@Brian17177 there's a daily cycle and a monthly cycle.
@Alifarliam yeah I looked into it (very briefly) and it appears you are correct
UA-cam is the only type of social media I follow, and it’s been curbed to religious content, nourishing or calm music, and a few political channels that present matters objectively and without riling me up to much. And random content, such as a goldfish breeder right now 😅 still trying to figure that one out as I don’t even have any fish lol.
From what I can tell, SM like Twitter and Instagram really are toxic for people. I’ve seen my political channels get banned from their SM for “wrong think,” and they ironically ended up with much better content and have healthier attitudes about life. One of them said going into Twitter was “like constantly fighting” and thanks the ban for helping him get back into philosophy, focus on his family, and steer his course to starting up a more lucrative news business.
As to the actual topic, I didn’t even realize I was going down the porn path until it just hit me one day. I’ve never been into romance novels or anything, as my tomboyish mindset was more geared to action and fantasy. However, I do link my initial porn intro due to certain types of anime and fanfiction.
Off the bat, I don’t see a problem with anime in general as it’s entertainment like anything the US or Europe can come up with. There’s good and wholesome stuff out there, and then there’s the dark corners people know and joke about but then get offended when it’s rightfully called out to the mainstream. The cultural differences between the US and Japan means there are some things either side can find ‘offensive’ or ‘prudish.’ This lead to me watching certain tropes, interactions, and scenarios that “intrigued” me.
I made my way to fan made stories because I loved reading and writing growing up, and it was fun reading different interpretations of scenes, exploring “what ifs,” and sometimes correcting problems from the show/movie. Long story short, I ended up reading stories with more “fluff” content and it escalated to actively seeking the ‘not safe for work (NSFW)’ stuff. It got to a point where I could barely watch shows without thinking “yep, there’s definitely some Rule 34 online” or “I bet someone has already made soft porn of this.”
It definitely affected my mood, the way I watched entertainment, and led me to searching up phrases and words I never would have searched on my own 🫣😳
Fortunately, I found myself falling deeper into my faith and was able to stop myself pretty cold turkey. I still watch some anime, but am very picky on the type and genre and filter out any stories that could trigger me. A very unfortunate fact, though, is that modern cartoons and animation are actually a hotbed for introducing such themes to people. Unless it’s clearly labeled ‘adult’ or ‘for mature audiences only,’ most people especially parents don’t vet what their children watch as well as they should. And with kids being more online these days, they’ll look up stuff related to their favorite shows and movies, discover the decent and degenerate options, and start down the porn path.
It’s something I’m on the look out for, and is why I still write and publish my own fan works. Partially because it gives me a chance to explore my favorite entertainment, and to provide more wholesome content for people like my younger self. Currently working on a few projects with a focus on action and “filing in the blanks” for one of my childhood shows. Almost a quarter of what I see story-wise is soft porn among some of the main characters, who are freakin MINORS in the show. Another thing to watch out for in regards to animation now a days, the weird obsession with LGBT+ representation and blatant sexual fetishism for under aged characters 🤢🤢
Coming from the male perspective- it's comparatively rare for us to have a problem with written stuff. Men are visual-oriented. But in my own work to rid myself of the _heart issue_ I can say that I've succeeded in changing how I see visual depictions of real people (photos, videos). What used to excite me now disgusts me, because I think about the people and how sad and painful their stories are. I feel ashamed because I'm contributing to their problems. And it's easy, at that point, to stop or to puah it away for longer.
So for me, a difficult roadblock to overcome has been the part of my mind that tries to "cheat" - and even though it never interested me before, I have only ever had a problem since then with the situations I imagine in my mind. Sotuations, interactions between completely imaginary people, stuff that I never even write down. Fantasies. It is something that always ultimately leads back to the more obvious stuff -- pictures, videos, etc. But it's hard for me to draw the line where I should because there's no victim.
I've been trying to shift my thinking away from the goal of stopping or suppressing a behaviour towards a positive goal of _becoming the sort of person who doesn't have to keep secrets_ . That's been the best strategy for me. Focus on making the best version of myself and removing anything that causes shame or guilt or regret, even if I can't really understand why it's wrong or convince myself that it is.
I apologize for going on such a long tangent, but it's interesting to me, reading your experience, because I don't think there are many people making resources for that, or resources that get at the "heart problem" that leads there. Even though it's something I'm not interested in, now that it's the devil's only shot at harming me, I think i could benefit from resources to combat it.
By God’s grace, we show up in Christ
Depends on the influencer of course, I feel like the ones that get deeper into theology are the best, but I recently had an experience where this Catholic influencer that just connects random thoughts to the faith etc and talks about kindness and all that stuff, basically treated me like and old rag after we’ve had several conversations about a myriad of things for I think over a year, and it’s so easy for them to hide behind the block button. Honestly terrible stuff, really makes you wonder which are actually Catholic.
Finally, an amen
Thank you for the message. The problem with this interview is how it is conducted for people who have not watched the first part of the discussion. I do wish that she shared her story for people who have not seen the first part. The majority of the interview was not about pron and the struggle, which is a huge miss.
Would love to know what's the fat red book Matt gifted Rachel during the talk 😅, unable to catch the name
The Mysteries of Christianity by Fr Matthias Scheeben
Question for the gals in the comments willing to open up about this addiction. Is it significantly different for women in terms of psychology to guys? Like are we both dealing with the same issue, or do men and women suffer different aspects of porn addiction. For me it was an emotional crutch to blot out loneliness and the physical stimulation obviously. Not sure if it’s a similar slippery slope to fall down starting from emotional distress combined with physical pleasure and it starts. Also we all know based on Dr. Peterson’s analysis, men are very visual based and women have a mental base like romance novels being the main female porn fantasy while men it’s more like a control power fantasy. Just my thought and would like to hear how y’all perspective could shine light on this pit.
Honestly I think women are a lot more "visual based" than men realize. I didn't even know what sex was the first time I saw pornography so I was not turning to it for romantic reasons - and yet it really drew me in and got me stuck. I definitely used porn as a way to distance myself from my emotions for several years and although arousal was probably happening on some level I was too dissociated from my own body to notice it for many of those years (never engaged in masturbation). I do think that there are some parts of a woman's struggle with sexual sin that are different from a man's, but I also think there's FAR more overlap than difference - and that's true on a neurological level about our brains. Are the brains of men and women somewhat different? Sure. But they are much more alike than they are different and absolutely both men and women are engaging in compulsive sexual behavior for reasons of intimacy and emotion regulation - because those are two of the good things we look for in marital sex but can't find through porn, masturbation, fantasy, etc...
@@maryjocarney786thank you for your response, and opening up about your experience. We can all gladly sit here and say this sin sucks, and it’s leeched onto our souls wether we want it there or not. So between men and women, we are both affected by the visual stimulation of it, and it then roots into our psychology in different ways for personal reasons making this more complicated than is has to be. I have to admit the first real time I was exposed to anything I can recall pornographic was those pop up ads on arcade game websites, or sexually charged cartoon drawings on posters, ads, etc. This issue is rooted hard in advertising and is the first time I can remember seeing a hot chick in lingerie even as jokes in comedy skits. To me it seems in recent years especially after coming back to church, I’ve noticed how bad things are in the culture seeing every deadly sin on full blast and turned up to 100. With the internet, pride and porn are rampant, fast food and bad eating habits fuel gluttony, corporate business if founded on greed, social media on envy, and national pride and politics on wrath. Then of course we have sloth and gaming culture and smart devices, binging TV. Part of me feels hopeless and then I’m reminded of how Jesus is gonna redeem everyone even more when the second coming happens. So that’s what gives me hope.
@@maryjocarney786They’re not much more alike at all if masturbation isn’t involved.
And as a factual matter men are far more visual than women especially with sex.
I'm sorry do men think that women don't masturbate ? Because they do I've known of several women who use porn in the same way men do . I think this might be why it ads to the shame for women because people think women don't feel desire but only just want love. what it is women want both love and desire to be combined ,ideally
@@Earthtime3978I disagree with the notion women are far less visual than men. If this was true why do all the entertainment marketed to women contain aesthetically pleasing people, products and sets? Look at rom-coms, romances, perfume ads, makeup ads and the entire fashion industry. All fueled by beautiful people doing beautiful things. The consumer is largely women. Even action movies have handsome, muscular men showing off their bodies, e.g. MCU. That's almost entirely for women. I'm tired of this false trope
There is a HUNGER from young women to have a woman show them how to be a wife and mother and live biblical marriage. There are people who do that type of content badly. And there are many who don't and who have helped young women. (Titus 2:3-5)
If a woman showing their clean home is triggering then it's perhaps something to have some self reflection about. If we are only speaking about "inFLuEnCeRs", then fine. But I can assure you, the constant comments from feminists definitely can sour feminine content creators from wanting criticism from a stranger. When I have people in my comments saying being a homemaker is dragging down the whole of women, or that I'm creating helpless toxic sons, or dooming my daughter to SLAVERY....yeah, I stick to my own spiritual director and people who know me. Content about how to navigate motherhood and homemaking isn't inherently preaching and narcissistic.
You have a point. I can also see it being an issue, because I would imagine there will be some content that shows an almost unrealistic standard (assuming they only put their best online, not the daily reality). I see pros and cons to it, but I think you can be right especially if it is older (or perhaps I should say more experienced) mothers created this kind if content to set a good example.
@@Brian17177 there are absolutely some who only show the good side (which adults can discern if they need to pass by that content), but there are a LOT of us who show daily life in all it's facets. I've been on TikTok making content for two years, with 36k followers, and I'm in a community of other similar creators. We have women thanking us daily for showing them the tasks their mothers failed to teach, for showing how to manage a home, etc.
Then we also get comments from angry feminists and/or women who clearly have their own guilt to work out. Which is probably why this woman's criticism wasn't received well if she set forth the same attitude about content creators she showed here. People can't often hide their true feelings as well as they think they can.
There seems to be a wide gulf between what young women need to see (life skills) and what conversations like this say they need. Fluffy content only goes so far, which she fully admits about her own work. Women don't just need pats on the back, new mom or not. And while I can't physically go to everyone's home (though I do in my own community) I CAN make a video about how to quickly tidy a living room or bathroom and give advice about cleaning schedules. 🥰 Women do have to discern who they follow on media, but we shouldn't assume if they see a clean kitchen they will want to off themselves.
That's a wall of text, I know. 😅 I feel strongly about this after years of helping women online. It's also a pot calling a kettle black bc Matt absolutely is a Catholic influencer.
Matt what book did you give her? Would like to look into it. Thanks
The Mysteries of Christianity by Fr Matthias Scheeben
@@hsram1131 Thank you!
Based.
32:21 Brett Cooper is Mentioned
Amen
Thank God there is a ChristGodHolySpirit
Just didn’t hear here get into the nitty gritty. More chit chat than anything
The first step is in Christ
You have not even mentioned how the Holy Spirit works in us in faith
How sweet are you💞😇🕊💞
Hit the like button...as I usually forget.
Why do you not ask if it’s Christ using your frail files or Satan. For example, if someone leaves their mic off, is it Christ or Satan?
Food for thought, did Adam love did eve love, Adam
Thank you,GOD and the Virgin Mary bless you all 🙏
So, where is Christ! In the introduction to Self.
Slayer of lackeys
It’s only by the grace of God, that your organizations in this world exist. So that we can see Christ and thusly GodChristHolySpirit it would be better if your obsession was with and in Christ
Here's how to stop. Write the girl a letter. Done. End of story. If you know they know, you stop.
I don’t quite understand, who are your writing your letter to? How does that help you break a pornography addiction?
@@fireballgarcia1281 a bit awkward to discuss but its the nature of the beast.
You write a letter to every girl you get off to. I guarantee by the time it's in the mail you'll think twice in the future.
You just take the thing you are ashamed of, and you hand it to the person you wronged.
I had an experience meeting a famous girl, just hung out for a bit at work, my addiction was gone by the end of the day because I just realized how bad her life would be in the future. Imagine the girl you see having a son, then imagine her son being shown a video of her performing.
I could go on for hours but it's gross to think about and a bit embarrassing. Porn is dehumanizing by nature, anything that helps you view them as a human is working towards the solution
@@fireballgarcia1281 to answer your question as simply as possible, you write the letter to the girl you are addicted to watching. This breaks the secrecy, like opening up an infected wound to let it clean out
Are you willing to intervene in Christ.
All things are possible in Christ . Unless you’re letting Satan use your frail files!
Hopefully the talk is in Christ
Fear is not of God
I think what would put a lot of women off is? You blame a mystical figure called Satan for their addiction, and act & sound using references to God as almost above those your trying to help.
As someone who has no problem with porn, I rarely consume it. Perhaps because there's no temptation? It not being a "forbidden fruit" to me? I read a statistic- I believe in Pornhub's annual statistics report- that Utah of all places had the highest porn consumption rate per capita out of any state. Conservative, religious, Christian Utah. Go figure, right?
If anyone's confused, I'm not a Christian. In case you're trying to figure out how I could be ambivalent towards porn and yet be Christian at the same time.
This is a variation of the fallacious theoretical framework that underpins the sexual Revolution. “If everyone just open up man, it will be utopia, if it feels good do it man, don’t be a prude, you only feel bad about your actions because of the repressive society, man”
No need to consider the catastrophic decline in birth rates, marriage, happiness and the explosion of drug addiction and suicide since the 60’s. It’s obviously a complicated matrix of factors, but sexual degradation is a significant. The idea that we were worse off as a society when people mostly kept it in their pants is laughable.
Utah is considered more Mormon then protestant.
*Mormon not Christian
But yeah, the forbidden fruit angle is definitely a factor. People are forbidden, the subject is tabboo- so children can't talk to their parents about it. Never do something, as a parent, that encourages your children to hide from you.
For what it's worth, Matt Fradd is actually really consistent and outspoken about parental communication regarding the subject. He made some videos about it on his Victory channel.
1:50:12 😳
I don’t struggle with porn but I think woman struggle finding a real male leader role/ relationship. Hence why woman loved fifty shades of grey and Dom/submissive books. I think they want traditional male & female roles so they get it from porn because they don’t have it? Idk ladies tell me if this is true?
that makes a lot of sense! I think you’re right
I disagree somewhat. Some of us who get hooked on porn are actually just attracted to it for the same reasons men are (pleasure, emotion regulation, loneliness, boredom), and I think there's a danger to the idea that traditional gender roles can fully solve the problems men and women encounter in their sexuality. Ultimately, a healthy marital relationship is about mutual self giving not strict roles where one is all dominant and the other all submissive. I think many women turn to dom/submissive fantasies and sex practices because they are fueled by lust - the lust of a man "dominating" a woman as though she is his sex object, and I also think that some women turn to these fantasies because they are not being seen fully or treated with equal regard within the marital act. Food for thought...
Is it Christ who does not use your free will or Satan, using your frail files!
No one sees God unless they see Christ
Wish her the best, however, her use of language and her unadulterated reliance on the language of the therapeutic is unappealing and problematical in the end.
What did you have in mind that was wrong? It seemed like she used really useful and accurate language. If by reliance on therapeutic terms you mean “not addressing the spiritual dimension” I disagree as she talked about that quite a bit.
@@fireballgarcia1281 I never said "wrong" I did call it unappealing and problematical and it is. There is a sense of identity as trauma or identity as illness and relying on therapeutic language when in actuality the etiology of the disorder is spiritual can lead one down rabbit holes.
@@MJK2600 We are mind, body, AND spirit. I fail to see how any disordered behavior or sin can be strictly spiritual in terms of its etiology when human beings are not strictly spiritual. What you're implying here actually suggests an unhealthy mindset called mind-body dualism that's led many to believe their bodies are bad and only their spirit can be good, which, funnily enough, often contributes to people continuing along a road of disordered sexual sin. Furthermore I can assure you that this woman finds her identity in being a daughter of God and not trauma, she's a good friend of mine.
@@maryjocarney786 I never used the term "strictly". However, my perspective is shaped by an Aristotelian-Thomist understanding of soul (or anima: spirit). The soul is the form of the body. A soul (spirit) makes a human person to be what it is. We are embodied souls -- a composite of body and soul. That being said, the body and soul aren't exactly on equal footing. The soul is primary and it gives unity to the whole: The soul -- the form -- actualizes the body -- the matter. My earlier point was not dualistic in any way because that would presuppose the equality of form and matter. The language of therapy is deterministic and more often than not it treats and focuses on the symptoms but ignores the underlying root cause.
Their comments on social media and being a new mom ring SO true. I had my first last July and it took all of three days to realize how much even the greatest Catholic moms on Instagram made me resent and hate myself during the most joyful and glorious period of my life. Never ever going back. Choosing to trust in our Lord and leaning into Mothers intuition has been so fruitful for me. 🤍
Hopefully the kick in the pants is from Christ not just self!
I wish people would stop saying that they struggled with porn and masturbation, when they really enjoyed porn and masturbation and struggled with their conscience afterwards.
She's needs to have a good cry. She looks like she's about to have an emotional breakdown.
You’re both talking platitudes there’s not Christ and what you’re saying about others or for that matter yourself. Where is free will that only God gives! Are you shocked by what you hear Satan using from our frail files?