Young girl? She's 19 years old! That's a legal adult in every state on the country and can be willingly kicked out of someone's house. She's lucky that's all that happened
Don’t blame the Dad in the first story at all. That was one thing he had to remember the love of his life, and his daughter destroyed it. His reaction was 100 percent justified.
The first story: that is the most callous thing she could do to her father regarding the mementos left behind by her deceased mother. To be so cruel to do something like that in response to sibling rivalry is just dumbfounding to me. Regarding OP cutting his daughter out of his life, I think it's a perfectly valid response. People who don't have empathy need to learn that others aren't going to take their crap. Clearly his daughter doesn't have respect for boundaries, nothing resembling accountability for her actions and zero comprehension of the word no. It would be her just deserts if her father cut her off financially and never helped her ever again.
Story 1: unless Ava has a major attitude change and begs on her hands and knees for forgiveness, then no OP should disown her and taken out of his will.
I would assault my daughter for ruining all the precious memories of the love of my life. I have a son who has anger issues. I would assault him the same if he did that.
@Sasha05ya and i dont care what people say not every child deserves a parent just like not every parent deserves a child, and this is one child who doesnt deserve a parent and should get disowned
Story 1 unfortunately I think the bond between op and his daughter is shattered the daughter sounds entitled ripping up something that is a memory of her mother is horrible am sorry but I could never forgive that
She can find another family. I think she burned her bridges here, well more like burned the bridges, nuked the land the bridges were on then dumped trash on them for good measure but you get the point.
@@wolfyblackknight8321yes exactly and the fact that she sat there and smiled smugly when he told her to get out the first time shows she doesnt care about his feeling at all and is a horrible person
Story 1: Ava is pretty much a problem child all grown up. There are lines you just don't cross and she crossed one of them while ripping up the OP's (who is her father) letters. Story 5: This is almost "no good deed goes unpunished". The OP did nothing wrong. Story 7: The wife needs to understand financial priorities.
@pizzasharkguy3807 Well, her "equestrian" butt better be riding a racehorse down at the racetrack. Otherwise, they need to get rid of the horse. Maybe then they will be able to afford their mortgage.
Story1: Imagining the man trying to patch the letters with tape with tears streaming his eyes and kissing the torn letters from his late wife... uhuh... i don't think anyone can recover from that.
The kid deserves to be alone. No respect for anyone. No sympathy for her. She's old enough to understand the severity of her actions. Destroyed irreplaceable items. Put her clothes in trash bags with her personal hygiene products. No makeup, childhood toys/trophies or anything sentimental. Take her car and any money saved for college. Send her a picture of a nice bonfire of those items. Remove from your will and go no contact.
Ava isn't a little kid anymore, she is an adult and should act like one, she did what she did because she knew that would hurt OP and she think that OP wouldn't do nothing, he did.
@@shadowfan115 BS, that have nothing to do with age, she is an adult, we learn what right or wrong since we were kids, like I said she knew that this actions would hurt OP and she still did it.
story !: Ava is now an adult. there are no ifs ands or buts. she tore up those letters to hurt him just like how she used a slur to hurt her brother. she MUST know that there are consequences to her actions. the fact that she rolled her eyes at him shows her blatant lack of respect. there would be no returning to the house EVER. they could come to forgive one another but returning to live there is out of the question.
For me they are horrible at managing money and should really reconsider their lifestyle if they don't want to throw their daughter in a chronically in debt situation she won't be able to escape.
@@orelliaorellia142exactly. Golf, horse, stables, a job where you LOSE money. The whole gated community part really proves the point even more on their irresponsible with money management.
@@orelliaorellia142 It's the right story I think? The last one was the wife accused the dad of being a bad father for working to make ends meet, so he had to miss his daughter's 8th birthday party. Like I said, if my dad can go on golf trips every year on my birthday, I don't see why a guy busting his ass to provide for his family and HAVING to miss one birthday is a problem.
Nah,I'd not let up...if my child tore up old letters my future wife wrote me before we got married and died...I'd ban them from my house and ban them from ever talking to me or my family again...Btw,I'm a sentimental and emotional person,this stands all the way,but I'd probably try and fix it after a couple months
Story 2: That entitled mother's daughter sounds like a spoiled little princess. She can't see her friends or go without coffee and donuts? You poor baby. Kinda a dick move for her mom to back OP into a corner where they have no choice but to agree.
it's a private school, of coarse the daughter is a spoiled brat. Couldn't the girl just meet her friends after school and ask her friends' parents for a ride home? Not everything has to be done the very first thing in the morning. Good luck everyone that had a good thing going. I just takes 1 person to get something good taken away.
I know that was all discussed on a group chat. The other Mom's didn't comment. If I was OP I would've contacted the other ones and asked if they were in agreement. I have a feeling they are not. They didn't want to confront Miss Thang. I would've contacted OP and told him that no I never agreed with it. That Miss Thang just kept pushing it.
the op's daughter is 18, so she's able to find herself a job to get some reasonable income, if she's the kind that hates working, then tough luck for her.
@@kano8 well easier than slaving away at a job on your feet all day somewhere I guess that’s what I mean in comparison to doing fuck all which I’m not advocating for any of this. By the way I’m just throwing out shit
As a person with a half brother who went on a lot of trips, although when I was younger sometimes I got upset that he went somewhere and I didn't, or that he got more money than I did for Christmas. Now I understand that if my mother had "compensated" me, it would've formed a breach of envy between my brother and I. Now it's not like we have the best relationship, but it could be worse.
so sorry for op's loss of his wife, hate his daughter and he needs to cut her out of his life but if the wife was still alive she will be surprised and shocked about what her daughter is doing.
I'd cut her out of my life as well!!! That's a cruel thing to do. Those are from her mother, the love of your life. Maybe one day I could forgive her but she's going to have to grow up first and show me remorse for what she did
Story 7: I am gonna be brutally honest here. She needs to give that damn "equestrian" career. It's killing you guys financially. She needs She needs get another career. 38k a year for someone's job is not a good long term investment. Second this women needs to realize that they are pushing into disaster and will lose their home. If this OP contiunes down his path he's going he is eventually gonna have a stroke or a heart attack and they are gonna be world of hurt. Nobody can be working long hours like that without a break. Your body will give out on you at some point.
I have a very strong feeling that both of them are living above their means. I'm sorry, but when you are forced to work doubles all the time to fail to pay mortgage and loans, you don't hire a photographer for you kids birthday party, you don't go golfing every weekend and you cut short the equestrian expenses to the minimum. They are so bad at managing money. And this guy health will soon be wrecked by all this overwork he does.
A career does not leave you with less money at the end of the year than you would have had otherwise. Thats a hobby and a DAMN expensive one at that. If you cant pay your mortgage you dont go shopping beyond the essentials, you dont go golfing, and you dont go play around on a horse as a hobby.
You are kinda wrong the human brain is still developing up until the age of 25 she was still young and stupid I would agree she fucked up but kicking her out and being an asshole basically making her homeless at that age is wrong
story 6 - that's how parents groom children to be lazy, calculative, lack of discipline and knowing nothing about housekeeping. Although your child not entirely obligated (but you are) to do housework, this golden opportunity to teach children to give when needed. Stupid petty parents, wait till your children are grown up and kick you to one side and then you gonna come here to complain ?
I understand not making the child clean up because it's not his mess The only thing that makes you jerk is the sentence "I decide what's best for my child regardless of whose house I'm in" Your authority as a parent does not supersede the authority of a homeowner in their home. If you disagree with what that homeowner is saying you leave their home not trying to argue the rules of their house. The correct answer here was to state with the issue was and if the grandfather/father-in-law refused then your next move was to leave the house. You would still be called the asshole, but everybody would be within their lanes
Yes finally I was about to post this, the OP is in the wrong, the one owning the house or renting the house/apartment rules are what to be followed when there that's how it works, don't like it leave. If they don't want their child to help clean up fine but then they can't be there as the house rules are the house rules. The only time I would agree with this person would be if the rules were of such a nature that it breaks actual laws or would cause actual harm.
I don’t think that making the mess is a prequel to having to clean. That’s a selfish mentality. I do dishes that I didn’t create and my wife does laundry that isn’t hers. It’s selfish to only help when it’s your fault.
Story 2: It sounds like the choosing beggar parent is failing to provide food for the child and instead was trying to get the OP to cover up neglect at hime by enabling the daughter to grab donuts and coffee by getting dropped off earlier.
The last story. Why do you even have a photographer? You can't afford one good or bad, you could easily take photos yourselves as well as other guest's. It's just an expense that shouldn't have been spent in my opinion.
It seems the wife does not know the value of money and how to spend money, sounds like she is the type of person that buys things without thinking about their situation. she even has a horse, the first thing I would do if you have hard time on money is selling the horse that would save up over 500 dollars a month at least.
@@GJBndls Apparently all in all it is rather 3100 per month (OP gave the number as 38.000$ per year) which obviously makes me agree even more with you!?
Story 1 if you really want a bond with her therapy is a must but frankly put she is old enough to what is acceptable and what isn’t she fucked around and found out
The original poster in the last story really needs to understand that he needs to tell his wife to get rid of the horse. It's hurting them financially and they can't afford it. Also he needs to cut his wife out from being able to access any of the money that he makes because it's obvious she can't make good financial decisions.
I'll be honest, that first one might have put me in jail. The moment I came home to that and I might have grabbed the nearest anything and beat the breaks off her.
Story 1: She tore up something so important to her dad because she was mad she couldn't be transphobic while she lived in his house, she's grown enough to know herr living with her dad is now a privilage, and not something he is legally required to do Story 6: yes, its your fil's house and it's your child. There should be rules whenever a child is in someone elses house like "don't go in this room if I'm not there, ask for snacks first, make sure you knock." Those are fine. But trying to say "every man woman and child who enters this house has to clean it while they're here!" Thats not just dictating someone else's child's responsibilities, but everyone else. Ask for help from the parents or the older kids if you need help cleaning the house. Even offer the kid something they like as payment for helping, like McDonalds, or ice cream, because there are kids out there that do understand the basic concept of "you give me something for my labor" not to the degree of adults, but it's still there
story 6 while on the surface you may have a point we don't know why the rules were set, simply refusing because "my child" doesn't fly when communications aren't practiced. maybe there's a good reason the rule is set
@@aaron75fy maybe, but expecting a child to clean nearly as soon as they step into a house without option or a prior conversation with the parents is pretty ridiculous. But kids aren't the best cleaners and get bored very easily so there's a low chance anything will be done on his end without somone constantly stopping to help or doing their chores because the chikd got fussy cause they came to have fun with their grandparents, not clean all day. And again, paying the child with candies is probably the smartest idea possible. Gives them motivation to clean AND teaches them that doing a good job will most likely end in a reward, (aka money for adults, treats for kids) that's a great lesson for the child AND gets the chores done. Just my opinion, nobody HAS to do it but I just thought it was a clever idea
Story 1: Being mentally, verbally, or physically abusive towards the family members you live with and care for you is a one way ticket out. She was already a danger to her siblings for her explosive verbal abuse. This mental attack of destroying sentimental letters was over the top. It's her way of gaining control. Be nice to me or I'll continue to hurt you. You can't negotiate with terrorists. OP is right on kicking her out. It is the only way she will learn to behave or she will keep burning bridges until she is stuck on her own.
20 is old enough to know that if you fuck around you're going to find out and Ava doesn't seem like a person who would realize that she's caused her own misery. There are plenty of 20 year olds on their own.
The OP who’s a nurse should tell his wife, “I sacrificed being able to spend one birthday with our daughter so we can pay our mortgage! You put us at risk of becoming homeless for some pictures! Don’t you dare challenge my parenting skills because you have no ability to comprehend finances!” She might divorce him for it but if she can’t handle a reality check when she’s this far into the wrong that might be for the best!
When you're so broke you can't even pay your mortgage why are you spending money on a photographer at all let alone $500 with all the improvements to smartphones take a freaking picture with your phone and if you have problem you can edit it on the computer later this woman is ridiculous
What op should have done was told the old bag how much her service dog cost: 50k on the cheaper side....100k on the more well trained side. Service dogs are personally trained to fit the person they are being sold to. The training is so personalized that they can't be given to a new owner without being retained in soms cases.
Story 1: She only started acting sorry when she realized she was being kicked out. If she's 19 then she knows full well what those letters meant to her father and what they might've meant to her siblings as well. She chose to be apathetic and this is what it's costing her. I bet once her siblings find out about what she did, they will refuse to speak to her even if she comes back to the house. I don't know what her problem is or why she's acting this way, but it's no excuse to go out of her way to hurt her father just because they had a dispute the day before. No excuse. She's an adult now, so she's now gonna face adult consequences since reasoning with her or arguing with her seems to just not work.
Leave her for dead,because if I was in that situation I would say:GET OUT OF MY HOUSE I NEVER WANT YOU TO SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME ON PURPOSE EVER AGIAN YOU SHOULD BE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT OR HOUSE ANYWAYS GET A GOOD JOB AND MAYBE YOU CAN FIX YOUR NEW FINACIAL PROBLEM
The first story is kinda suprising because what the daughter did is completely bridge burning and utterly unforgivable, if you want to forgive her whatever but she doesn't deserve to be forgiven hell even if she spent the rest if her life created time travel and stopped it the fact that she could do that and then brush it off as no big deal is disgusting and she should be revolted with her own behaviour. OP could help her a little but should at most go low contact. Daughters actions were just utterly evil.
Story 1: What the daughter did was so heartless, I can't understand how someone could do that, even in a fit of rage. I don't think the dad should have to forgive his daughter if he doesn't think it's worth the trouble. Story 2: Really, your child needs 45 minutes before class to socialize? Not only was the reasoning for this demand crazy, it's also disrespectful to OP and their time. Story 5: I don't think anyone's a jerk here. There's nothing wrong with OP giving Emma a vacation. But I also understand that because of this, the mother wanted to spend a little extra on K. I can very easily imagine that if she didn't do sonething like this, the sisters would start resenting each other. And honestly, OP was a bit out of line for telling the mom how she can or can't go about HER family and money. Story 6: I understand the my house my rules policy, but you can't try to have control over someone else's kid, that's crossing a line. Story 7: Who's the better parent? The one who attends the party or the one who keeps a roof over everyone's head? Hmm. The wife needs to be more responsible with finances. In fact, it sounds like some cheaper lifestyle choices would not be unnecessary for the whole family.
For the last story I have a really big feelings that everyone in this household is bad at managing money. 38 000 dollars out of balance each year! How!? Who with so much problem with loans and mortgage decide to pay a photographer for a birthday party to begin with? Are you sure you need to golf, etc when you have so much money problem? These guys needs to realize they will make their daughter's life a mess by living above what they can. And the father is pulling double all the time to try to catch up with the bills? He will die early from overworking himself! Take a class, I don't know, but stop throwing your money by the window!
Last one, sounds like you two need to give up some of the luxury things you do and have, including the equestrian items. She seems like a very wasteful person
the daughter in the first story should be allowed to come back only if she is treated as a renter ......paying rent and a share of bills and getting her own food, complete with a renter aggrement . She was soooo disresptful and deserves to be treated as she was . This will be a hard learned lesson to her to not destory things belonging to other people .
Story 1: nope, I am not even listening to the rest of the take from the narrator. Ava does not respect OP or her siblings. All taking her back will do is reinforce that nothing will ever happen to her. Also, if she really gave a crap about her safety and shelter situation she would of not bit the hand that feeds her. She is an adult. She screwed up beyond any reasonable level. She deals with the consequences. If OP takes back Ava he is just asking for trouble
"She is a young girl..." She's TWENTY. Stop acting like he threw out a minor with no way to get a job. She doesn't get to make everyone in the house feel like crap and then expect to still be allowed to stay.
Story 1: You literally did everything you could to be a good father and even tried to help Ava, but she still pulled off unforgiving thing. I totally understand your reaction... but If I were you, I'd still allow her back in if she changes her way and begs for forgiveness.
A little inside on the birthday one My dad is a vac mechanic and he has only ever had just my 12 and 13th birthdays off of work so far because he has always been working and I'm used to that my dad works a lot and I have never resented him or gotten mad at him for it because that is the reason we can afford to do so much fun stuff on our families birthdays he works so hard and with his new job he has finally been able to take birthdays off so no if I can go 11 years without my dad being at my birthdays she can go one without her dad at hers
Yes, I so did the same my ex and I went to visit family. They put him to work like we are in the desert during the summer. My ex threw up and i was like nope. His family tried to convince me he was fine. He wasn't fine they didnt known he was coming down. I didnt until he started to show signs. I took him to a motel. I was pregnant and I need my ac. Naw I dont care who you are, you have a right to refuse to work for free.
for the first 1, i would’ve backhanded her till she was seeing stars, took her keys and phone and thrown her out of the house and have her in the will only getting $1 so she can’t say she got nothing and tries to sue.
14:59 NTA & I would be petty AF & up your gifts to your niece while keeping the gifts to the step sister modest. I would say “Well since you think she has a rich aunt & punished her for going to Japan, I’ve decided to make up for that choice by stepping up the gifts for her.”
Costco story. Lady, WTF are you THINKING? Story 4. Lady, if you want a pet, go to the local ANIMAL SHELTER. They have dogs and cats available for ADOPTION.
Last story: I looked it up, equestrian pays between $19,261 and $34,090 per year. Only "top-level" equestrians make $34K, and average mid-level Equestrian pays $22,426 per year. If expenses for her being an equestrian cost $35,000 per year, your wife doesn't have a job as an equestrian, she has a HOBBY as an equestrian. One that happens to recoup some of its expenses. But all that checks out with the rest of what we know about her. She is frivolous with money and spends money without consideration of her family's budget on things SHE wants. She effectively would earn the family more money if she stayed home and didn't work since brings home $13,000 less than her expenses. She has an expensive hobby she calls a job. Not to mention it would be better for the child.
W/ S/1 given that she is 18+ throwing her out was the best solution...tbh if she was lil younger i would have put het in a psychiatrist center or someth, but as she is old enough that wouldnt work cause she could technically sign herself off of it :/
Story 2, Not the jerk. Making a change in the schedule without first consulting with the driver was dumb. The other parents and especially that entitled one, treated OP like some chauffeur and didn't even bother to ask his opinion.
If dudes wifes "career" costs 38ka year; it isn't a career. It’s a hobby. He isn't a bad father, but should have discussed that and budgetting earlier.
Last story: guy and his wife spend so much money on stupid stuff like golf, a photographer and then wife is mad at husband because he has to pay the bills
Story 7 that woman is going to kill that little girks dad. She over spends and her career loses 40k a year wtf. She needs to support so he can stop working himself to the grave and will never be able to retire.
Calling the daughter a young girl isnt quiet right, is it? Isnt she over 18? Meaning a legal adult. So there is in my POV no excuse for her to destroy the letters from his dead wife, as the VO said, those might be some of the last memories he has of the love of his life, and her MOTHER! She erased a part of her own mother, and she didnt even seem to feel any guilt, she only realized that she f-ed up when he told her to get out, but did she actually feel guilty over the destruction of those letters? Does she realize what she did?
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Young girl? She's 19 years old! That's a legal adult in every state on the country and can be willingly kicked out of someone's house. She's lucky that's all that happened
She is actually 20 , I had to go back n check when it said he took the car
@@maryjane4432yeah that's what I thought
Exactly! I can't even fathom what she did there, she is messed up... 😢 I wonder if she has the ability to feel empathy at all....
Don’t blame the Dad in the first story at all. That was one thing he had to remember the love of his life, and his daughter destroyed it. His reaction was 100 percent justified.
Abso-fucking-lutely! I'd be *beyond* furious! This is worse than unforgivable!
The first story: that is the most callous thing she could do to her father regarding the mementos left behind by her deceased mother.
To be so cruel to do something like that in response to sibling rivalry is just dumbfounding to me. Regarding OP cutting his daughter out of his life, I think it's a perfectly valid response. People who don't have empathy need to learn that others aren't going to take their crap. Clearly his daughter doesn't have respect for boundaries, nothing resembling accountability for her actions and zero comprehension of the word no. It would be her just deserts if her father cut her off financially and never helped her ever again.
I'd do the exact same thing as OP, the daughter's an entitled asshat
she is also 20, so she is plenty old enough to be on her own
@@venus-pq5ggAnd old enough to know that what she did was beyond fucked up
*mementos
ferb, i know what we were gonna do today!
Story 1: unless Ava has a major attitude change and begs on her hands and knees for forgiveness, then no OP should disown her and taken out of his will.
I would assault my daughter for ruining all the precious memories of the love of my life. I have a son who has anger issues. I would assault him the same if he did that.
@Sasha05ya and i dont care what people say not every child deserves a parent just like not every parent deserves a child, and this is one child who doesnt deserve a parent and should get disowned
Story 1 unfortunately I think the bond between op and his daughter is shattered the daughter sounds entitled ripping up something that is a memory of her mother is horrible am sorry but I could never forgive that
_The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb._
She can find another family. I think she burned her bridges here, well more like burned the bridges, nuked the land the bridges were on then dumped trash on them for good measure but you get the point.
@@wolfyblackknight8321yes exactly and the fact that she sat there and smiled smugly when he told her to get out the first time shows she doesnt care about his feeling at all and is a horrible person
Story 1: Ava is pretty much a problem child all grown up. There are lines you just don't cross and she crossed one of them while ripping up the OP's (who is her father) letters.
Story 5: This is almost "no good deed goes unpunished". The OP did nothing wrong.
Story 7: The wife needs to understand financial priorities.
I agree with OP in Story 1. I'd be *furious* with my child if they shredded important personal documents.
I'm trying to figure out how she's spending $38000 on a hobby?
@@Devillin apparently she's a "Equestrian" the words of the story not mine
The wife in the last or needs to get rid of the horse it's hurting them financially
@pizzasharkguy3807 Well, her "equestrian" butt better be riding a racehorse down at the racetrack. Otherwise, they need to get rid of the horse. Maybe then they will be able to afford their mortgage.
Story1: Imagining the man trying to patch the letters with tape with tears streaming his eyes and kissing the torn letters from his late wife... uhuh... i don't think anyone can recover from that.
I would throw her out too. How dare you tear up those letters your mother wrote to me
Same.
So cruel what she did
It’s bad but throwing her out doesn’t solve anything.
@@Batman-lg2zj it does you remove the problem
@@wowgek7 Yup. If he has a further concern about her, he can pay her downpayment on an apartment, and let her figure out the rest herself.
SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING
The kid deserves to be alone. No respect for anyone. No sympathy for her. She's old enough to understand the severity of her actions. Destroyed irreplaceable items. Put her clothes in trash bags with her personal hygiene products. No makeup, childhood toys/trophies or anything sentimental. Take her car and any money saved for college. Send her a picture of a nice bonfire of those items. Remove from your will and go no contact.
She isn't even a child she is 20
I wouldn't burn her items because I wouldn't want to stoop to her level. Kicking her out and not letting her come back is good enough for me.
Ava isn't a little kid anymore, she is an adult and should act like one, she did what she did because she knew that would hurt OP and she think that OP wouldn't do nothing, he did.
And if that was me she would not be allowed back into my house ever
She's 19 and her brain is still developing so no the dad is an Ahole but she is also an Ahole
Uhhh the human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25 so she is still young enough to not know what she did was wrong
@@shadowfan115 BS, that have nothing to do with age, she is an adult, we learn what right or wrong since we were kids, like I said she knew that this actions would hurt OP and she still did it.
story !: Ava is now an adult. there are no ifs ands or buts. she tore up those letters to hurt him just like how she used a slur to hurt her brother. she MUST know that there are consequences to her actions. the fact that she rolled her eyes at him shows her blatant lack of respect. there would be no returning to the house EVER. they could come to forgive one another but returning to live there is out of the question.
For the last story: I get the feeling that if they lose their house, everyone will blame OP.
For me they are horrible at managing money and should really reconsider their lifestyle if they don't want to throw their daughter in a chronically in debt situation she won't be able to escape.
@@orelliaorellia142exactly. Golf, horse, stables, a job where you LOSE money. The whole gated community part really proves the point even more on their irresponsible with money management.
Pffftttt my dad used to have an annual out of state golf trip on my birthday for YEARS. She can get over it
@@LandCfan You are not answering to the right story pal.
@@orelliaorellia142 It's the right story I think? The last one was the wife accused the dad of being a bad father for working to make ends meet, so he had to miss his daughter's 8th birthday party. Like I said, if my dad can go on golf trips every year on my birthday, I don't see why a guy busting his ass to provide for his family and HAVING to miss one birthday is a problem.
Nah,I'd not let up...if my child tore up old letters my future wife wrote me before we got married and died...I'd ban them from my house and ban them from ever talking to me or my family again...Btw,I'm a sentimental and emotional person,this stands all the way,but I'd probably try and fix it after a couple months
She is his wife in this case
Story 2: That entitled mother's daughter sounds like a spoiled little princess. She can't see her friends or go without coffee and donuts? You poor baby. Kinda a dick move for her mom to back OP into a corner where they have no choice but to agree.
Agreed, kids need to be told “No” now and then.
She acts like not having this will kill them
it's a private school, of coarse the daughter is a spoiled brat. Couldn't the girl just meet her friends after school and ask her friends' parents for a ride home? Not everything has to be done the very first thing in the morning. Good luck everyone that had a good thing going. I just takes 1 person to get something good taken away.
I know that was all discussed on a group chat. The other Mom's didn't comment. If I was OP I would've contacted the other ones and asked if they were in agreement. I have a feeling they are not. They didn't want to confront Miss Thang. I would've contacted OP and told him that no I never agreed with it. That Miss Thang just kept pushing it.
I can't understand how the mental growth of these children goes. She thought that her father would be happy? 😢😢😢
Huh? She ripped them apart because she was angry. What part did that say she thought he would be happy?
@@randomviewer8756exactly she did it because she knew that would hurt him the most so i say he should disown her and ban her from his house
I have a feeling this story is going to BLOW UP! Like REALLY, REALLY BLOW UP
CREMATION 💀💀💀💀💯🔥❗️‼️💯💯🔥❗️‼️💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Me too
the op's daughter is 18, so she's able to find herself a job to get some reasonable income, if she's the kind that hates working, then tough luck for her.
Actually 20
@@Nuclear746 still, it's best that she does anyway.
Or at least there’s always Only Fans if she hates working and wants easy money. 😅
@tigernotwoods914 only easy money of she has already made a name for herself.
@@kano8 well easier than slaving away at a job on your feet all day somewhere I guess that’s what I mean in comparison to doing fuck all which I’m not advocating for any of this. By the way I’m just throwing out shit
Story 1 is 100% reasonable
Call me cruel, but I hope this Ava has a short life.
The last story: A career should be making you money not losing it
As a person with a half brother who went on a lot of trips, although when I was younger sometimes I got upset that he went somewhere and I didn't, or that he got more money than I did for Christmas. Now I understand that if my mother had "compensated" me, it would've formed a breach of envy between my brother and I. Now it's not like we have the best relationship, but it could be worse.
Are you saying your half brother would have hated you if you got the same things? Sounds pretty fucked if you ask me
@@CyberRaveLights not entirely but it would sure had created some animosity between us
so sorry for op's loss of his wife, hate his daughter and he needs to cut her out of his life but if the wife was still alive she will be surprised and shocked about what her daughter is doing.
but the daughter's reaction will be reasonable if she gets caught by her mother.
I'd cut her out of my life as well!!!
That's a cruel thing to do. Those are from her mother, the love of your life.
Maybe one day I could forgive her but she's going to have to grow up first and show me remorse for what she did
yeah and getting a job would be the first thing I expect out of her.
1st story. Absolutely not. She should NEVER be allowed to enter the house again. Make sure the will is written so she gets nothing and can't fight it.
Wow was not expecting the husband to actually be a good guy in the end
Story 7: I am gonna be brutally honest here. She needs to give that damn "equestrian" career. It's killing you guys financially. She needs She needs get another career. 38k a year for someone's job is not a good long term investment. Second this women needs to realize that they are pushing into disaster and will lose their home. If this OP contiunes down his path he's going he is eventually gonna have a stroke or a heart attack and they are gonna be world of hurt. Nobody can be working long hours like that without a break. Your body will give out on you at some point.
Yeah, the financial problems can track back to the mother.
I have a very strong feeling that both of them are living above their means. I'm sorry, but when you are forced to work doubles all the time to fail to pay mortgage and loans, you don't hire a photographer for you kids birthday party, you don't go golfing every weekend and you cut short the equestrian expenses to the minimum. They are so bad at managing money. And this guy health will soon be wrecked by all this overwork he does.
A career does not leave you with less money at the end of the year than you would have had otherwise. Thats a hobby and a DAMN expensive one at that.
If you cant pay your mortgage you dont go shopping beyond the essentials, you dont go golfing, and you dont go play around on a horse as a hobby.
Last story: Wife needs to change BIG TIME, or divorce.
Story 2 - How do kids in this school get a coffee or donuts?My school wouldn't give food as well.
"She is a young girl."
She's 20 years old, not 12. She's lucky getting kicked out was the worst thing that happened to her.
You are kinda wrong the human brain is still developing up until the age of 25 she was still young and stupid I would agree she fucked up but kicking her out and being an asshole basically making her homeless at that age is wrong
A photographer for an 8 year Olds party? I had 2, called mom and dad
Right? In this day and age, everyone with a smartphone can take pictures.
story 6 - that's how parents groom children to be lazy, calculative, lack of discipline and knowing nothing about housekeeping. Although your child not entirely obligated (but you are) to do housework, this golden opportunity to teach children to give when needed. Stupid petty parents, wait till your children are grown up and kick you to one side and then you gonna come here to complain ?
Awesome. I was about to give up on humanity and these entitled/stupid people make me wish humanity dies.
Story 2: That other parent is selfish, and trying to control the carpool schedule, NOT OP.
I understand not making the child clean up because it's not his mess The only thing that makes you jerk is the sentence "I decide what's best for my child regardless of whose house I'm in"
Your authority as a parent does not supersede the authority of a homeowner in their home. If you disagree with what that homeowner is saying you leave their home not trying to argue the rules of their house.
The correct answer here was to state with the issue was and if the grandfather/father-in-law refused then your next move was to leave the house. You would still be called the asshole, but everybody would be within their lanes
Yes finally I was about to post this, the OP is in the wrong, the one owning the house or renting the house/apartment rules are what to be followed when there that's how it works, don't like it leave.
If they don't want their child to help clean up fine but then they can't be there as the house rules are the house rules. The only time I would agree with this person would be if the rules were of such a nature that it breaks actual laws or would cause actual harm.
I don’t think that making the mess is a prequel to having to clean. That’s a selfish mentality. I do dishes that I didn’t create and my wife does laundry that isn’t hers. It’s selfish to only help when it’s your fault.
@@Loverboy0694 I'm going to destroy your house and not clean it up. Have fun with that responsibility
now the costco story made my day it sounded like she was just dumbfounded at the answer from the other line
Story 2: It sounds like the choosing beggar parent is failing to provide food for the child and instead was trying to get the OP to cover up neglect at hime by enabling the daughter to grab donuts and coffee by getting dropped off earlier.
The last story. Why do you even have a photographer? You can't afford one good or bad, you could easily take photos yourselves as well as other guest's. It's just an expense that shouldn't have been spent in my opinion.
It seems the wife does not know the value of money and how to spend money, sounds like she is the type of person that buys things without thinking about their situation. she even has a horse, the first thing I would do if you have hard time on money is selling the horse that would save up over 500 dollars a month at least.
@@GJBndls Apparently all in all it is rather 3100 per month (OP gave the number as 38.000$ per year) which obviously makes me agree even more with you!?
I loved seeing Spyro in the background! 🐉
Bro, the 3rd stories opening was hilarious😂 idk why
I would probably have spoken to the other parents before making my decision, but no, you're not wrong
story 1 gives full house vibes but everytime i think of that story it makes me so angry so ava does deserve what her dad did
Story 1 if you really want a bond with her therapy is a must but frankly put she is old enough to what is acceptable and what isn’t she fucked around and found out
The daughter in story 1 deserved that honestly.
For the first story, Ava is 20. While perhaps harsh, she needs a reality check.
Story 1.....cut your losses.
Daughter is trash - a waste of time.
You are not an a-hole.
The original poster in the last story really needs to understand that he needs to tell his wife to get rid of the horse. It's hurting them financially and they can't afford it. Also he needs to cut his wife out from being able to access any of the money that he makes because it's obvious she can't make good financial decisions.
I'll be honest, that first one might have put me in jail. The moment I came home to that and I might have grabbed the nearest anything and beat the breaks off her.
Story 1: She tore up something so important to her dad because she was mad she couldn't be transphobic while she lived in his house, she's grown enough to know herr living with her dad is now a privilage, and not something he is legally required to do
Story 6: yes, its your fil's house and it's your child. There should be rules whenever a child is in someone elses house like "don't go in this room if I'm not there, ask for snacks first, make sure you knock." Those are fine. But trying to say "every man woman and child who enters this house has to clean it while they're here!" Thats not just dictating someone else's child's responsibilities, but everyone else.
Ask for help from the parents or the older kids if you need help cleaning the house. Even offer the kid something they like as payment for helping, like McDonalds, or ice cream, because there are kids out there that do understand the basic concept of "you give me something for my labor" not to the degree of adults, but it's still there
story 6 while on the surface you may have a point we don't know why the rules were set, simply refusing because "my child" doesn't fly when communications aren't practiced. maybe there's a good reason the rule is set
@@aaron75fy maybe, but expecting a child to clean nearly as soon as they step into a house without option or a prior conversation with the parents is pretty ridiculous.
But kids aren't the best cleaners and get bored very easily so there's a low chance anything will be done on his end without somone constantly stopping to help or doing their chores because the chikd got fussy cause they came to have fun with their grandparents, not clean all day.
And again, paying the child with candies is probably the smartest idea possible. Gives them motivation to clean AND teaches them that doing a good job will most likely end in a reward, (aka money for adults, treats for kids) that's a great lesson for the child AND gets the chores done.
Just my opinion, nobody HAS to do it but I just thought it was a clever idea
Be pretty cool if you started linking where the stories are coming from so we can go read OP's comments, and any potential updates
Story 1:
Being mentally, verbally, or physically abusive towards the family members you live with and care for you is a one way ticket out. She was already a danger to her siblings for her explosive verbal abuse. This mental attack of destroying sentimental letters was over the top. It's her way of gaining control. Be nice to me or I'll continue to hurt you. You can't negotiate with terrorists. OP is right on kicking her out. It is the only way she will learn to behave or she will keep burning bridges until she is stuck on her own.
20 is old enough to know that if you fuck around you're going to find out and Ava doesn't seem like a person who would realize that she's caused her own misery. There are plenty of 20 year olds on their own.
I fledged at 19.
The OP who’s a nurse should tell his wife, “I sacrificed being able to spend one birthday with our daughter so we can pay our mortgage! You put us at risk of becoming homeless for some pictures! Don’t you dare challenge my parenting skills because you have no ability to comprehend finances!”
She might divorce him for it but if she can’t handle a reality check when she’s this far into the wrong that might be for the best!
Me at 5:53: *surprised stare "That's _exactly_ what that means "
When you're so broke you can't even pay your mortgage why are you spending money on a photographer at all let alone $500 with all the improvements to smartphones take a freaking picture with your phone and if you have problem you can edit it on the computer later this woman is ridiculous
What op should have done was told the old bag how much her service dog cost: 50k on the cheaper side....100k on the more well trained side.
Service dogs are personally trained to fit the person they are being sold to. The training is so personalized that they can't be given to a new owner without being retained in soms cases.
Story 1: She only started acting sorry when she realized she was being kicked out. If she's 19 then she knows full well what those letters meant to her father and what they might've meant to her siblings as well. She chose to be apathetic and this is what it's costing her. I bet once her siblings find out about what she did, they will refuse to speak to her even if she comes back to the house. I don't know what her problem is or why she's acting this way, but it's no excuse to go out of her way to hurt her father just because they had a dispute the day before. No excuse. She's an adult now, so she's now gonna face adult consequences since reasoning with her or arguing with her seems to just not work.
Why is story one the perfect drama movie plot?
You know what, if your kids want to get their early then have fun doing it yourself
Leave her for dead,because if I was in that situation I would say:GET OUT OF MY HOUSE I NEVER WANT YOU TO SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME ON PURPOSE EVER AGIAN YOU SHOULD BE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT OR HOUSE ANYWAYS GET A GOOD JOB AND MAYBE YOU CAN FIX YOUR NEW FINACIAL PROBLEM
The first story is kinda suprising because what the daughter did is completely bridge burning and utterly unforgivable, if you want to forgive her whatever but she doesn't deserve to be forgiven hell even if she spent the rest if her life created time travel and stopped it the fact that she could do that and then brush it off as no big deal is disgusting and she should be revolted with her own behaviour. OP could help her a little but should at most go low contact. Daughters actions were just utterly evil.
If your wife’s career sets her back $38000/year that’s not a career that’s a hobby.
Story 1: What the daughter did was so heartless, I can't understand how someone could do that, even in a fit of rage. I don't think the dad should have to forgive his daughter if he doesn't think it's worth the trouble.
Story 2: Really, your child needs 45 minutes before class to socialize? Not only was the reasoning for this demand crazy, it's also disrespectful to OP and their time.
Story 5: I don't think anyone's a jerk here. There's nothing wrong with OP giving Emma a vacation. But I also understand that because of this, the mother wanted to spend a little extra on K. I can very easily imagine that if she didn't do sonething like this, the sisters would start resenting each other. And honestly, OP was a bit out of line for telling the mom how she can or can't go about HER family and money.
Story 6: I understand the my house my rules policy, but you can't try to have control over someone else's kid, that's crossing a line.
Story 7: Who's the better parent? The one who attends the party or the one who keeps a roof over everyone's head? Hmm. The wife needs to be more responsible with finances. In fact, it sounds like some cheaper lifestyle choices would not be unnecessary for the whole family.
For the last story I have a really big feelings that everyone in this household is bad at managing money. 38 000 dollars out of balance each year! How!? Who with so much problem with loans and mortgage decide to pay a photographer for a birthday party to begin with? Are you sure you need to golf, etc when you have so much money problem? These guys needs to realize they will make their daughter's life a mess by living above what they can. And the father is pulling double all the time to try to catch up with the bills? He will die early from overworking himself! Take a class, I don't know, but stop throwing your money by the window!
my main issue is the fact that they consider golf a mandatory bill
Some of these stories are crazy 😂
Last one, sounds like you two need to give up some of the luxury things you do and have, including the equestrian items.
She seems like a very wasteful person
the daughter in the first story should be allowed to come back only if she is treated as a renter ......paying rent and a share of bills and getting her own food, complete with a renter aggrement . She was soooo disresptful and deserves to be treated as she was . This will be a hard learned lesson to her to not destory things belonging to other people .
19:16 since when did birthdays need photographers
Story 1: poor dad, this in inexcusable. Send her to the streets, she is unworthy of the loved ones she betrayed (yes I stole that from Thor)
Here's another phrase: _The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb._
Give her 1$ in the Will so that she cant legally claim she was intended to get more in the OP's Will
The first story. If the letters have been shredded into large pieces, the OP should tell his daughter to tape them back together as a form of apology.
I wouldn't trust her with this
No the op should disown her and ban her from his house
story 1 she is 18 if she did that to me she wouldnt be ever returning ever in my house she can live in an homeless shelter for al I care
Wow he remembered The middle child
Story 1: nope, I am not even listening to the rest of the take from the narrator.
Ava does not respect OP or her siblings. All taking her back will do is reinforce that nothing will ever happen to her. Also, if she really gave a crap about her safety and shelter situation she would of not bit the hand that feeds her.
She is an adult. She screwed up beyond any reasonable level. She deals with the consequences.
If OP takes back Ava he is just asking for trouble
Story 1 kick her out and don’t allow her back until she apologizes and until she commits to be better otherwise she’s not your daughter
"She is a young girl..." She's TWENTY. Stop acting like he threw out a minor with no way to get a job. She doesn't get to make everyone in the house feel like crap and then expect to still be allowed to stay.
Story 1: You literally did everything you could to be a good father and even tried to help Ava, but she still pulled off unforgiving thing. I totally understand your reaction... but If I were you, I'd still allow her back in if she changes her way and begs for forgiveness.
fuck that
A little inside on the birthday one My dad is a vac mechanic and he has only ever had just my 12 and 13th birthdays off of work so far because he has always been working and I'm used to that my dad works a lot and I have never resented him or gotten mad at him for it because that is the reason we can afford to do so much fun stuff on our families birthdays he works so hard and with his new job he has finally been able to take birthdays off so no if I can go 11 years without my dad being at my birthdays she can go one without her dad at hers
Yes, I so did the same my ex and I went to visit family. They put him to work like we are in the desert during the summer. My ex threw up and i was like nope. His family tried to convince me he was fine.
He wasn't fine they didnt known he was coming down. I didnt until he started to show signs. I took him to a motel. I was pregnant and I need my ac. Naw I dont care who you are, you have a right to refuse to work for free.
for the first 1, i would’ve backhanded her till she was seeing stars, took her keys and phone and thrown her out of the house and have her in the will only getting $1 so she can’t say she got nothing and tries to sue.
If you need to spend $38,000 a year for an activity, that is not a career, that is just an expensive hobby.
14:59 NTA & I would be petty AF & up your gifts to your niece while keeping the gifts to the step sister modest. I would say “Well since you think she has a rich aunt & punished her for going to Japan, I’ve decided to make up for that choice by stepping up the gifts for her.”
Costco story. Lady, WTF are you THINKING?
Story 4. Lady, if you want a pet, go to the local ANIMAL SHELTER. They have dogs and cats available for ADOPTION.
1st story- nope, everything is justified. she is 18, she can live on her own. she wants to live her life, then let her live her life, alone.
How in the heck do you put clothes and especially golfing before your mortgage?!
A career does not cost money. That's a hobby.
bro I was at the park like 3 years ago with my cats and these kids really said my cats were their cat I was like bruh
Bro what, this happened to my neighbors like actually
Last story: I looked it up, equestrian pays between $19,261 and $34,090 per year. Only "top-level" equestrians make $34K, and average mid-level Equestrian pays $22,426 per year. If expenses for her being an equestrian cost $35,000 per year, your wife doesn't have a job as an equestrian, she has a HOBBY as an equestrian. One that happens to recoup some of its expenses.
But all that checks out with the rest of what we know about her. She is frivolous with money and spends money without consideration of her family's budget on things SHE wants.
She effectively would earn the family more money if she stayed home and didn't work since brings home $13,000 less than her expenses. She has an expensive hobby she calls a job. Not to mention it would be better for the child.
#1 She needed discipline way before this started. 20 is too old to start disciplining her
W/ S/1 given that she is 18+ throwing her out was the best solution...tbh if she was lil younger i would have put het in a psychiatrist center or someth, but as she is old enough that wouldnt work cause she could technically sign herself off of it :/
Story 2, Not the jerk. Making a change in the schedule without first consulting with the driver was dumb. The other parents and especially that entitled one, treated OP like some chauffeur and didn't even bother to ask his opinion.
'Young girl'?! Dude, she's 19!
If dudes wifes "career" costs 38ka year; it isn't a career. It’s a hobby.
He isn't a bad father, but should have discussed that and budgetting earlier.
I love your videos
Last story: guy and his wife spend so much money on stupid stuff like golf, a photographer and then wife is mad at husband because he has to pay the bills
Story 7 that woman is going to kill that little girks dad. She over spends and her career loses 40k a year wtf. She needs to support so he can stop working himself to the grave and will never be able to retire.
Calling the daughter a young girl isnt quiet right, is it? Isnt she over 18? Meaning a legal adult. So there is in my POV no excuse for her to destroy the letters from his dead wife, as the VO said, those might be some of the last memories he has of the love of his life, and her MOTHER! She erased a part of her own mother, and she didnt even seem to feel any guilt, she only realized that she f-ed up when he told her to get out, but did she actually feel guilty over the destruction of those letters? Does she realize what she did?
What’s with people trying to buy/take other people’s pets?
And they actually think the owner will sell their pet to them?
You definitely jerked out with that one in story 1.