CRYSTAL PEPSI Employee Training Video (1992)
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- After 26 years lingering in obscurity, here it is... the worldwide debut of the employee training tape for the launch of Crystal Pepsi! The video features two distinct sections: a documentary-style product backgrounder, then a series of sales roleplays for overcoming vendor objections.
Our host opens things up by pondering what access to a crystal ball would be like. Curiously, the theme is promptly dropped in favor of examining consumer behavior and an exaggeration of Pepsi's fulfillment of their preferences. Throughout the accompanying video montage, flashes of several related brands' classic packaging (notably All Sport Body Quencher, Slice, Lipton iced tea and Ocean Spray) overshadow whatever message the voiceover is trying to convey. In contrast to earlier assessments, it is soon revealed that soft drink sales growth is, in fact, slipping. Pepsi's foolproof solution to the dilemma is to unveil new products. Suddenly, the crystal ball reemerges, only this time, a glass bottle of Crystal Pepsi appears inside - the future is now and it looks like a transparent cola.
The MC touts the new carbonated beverage as a trailblazer, destined to succeed in the markets of today. Of note, he elects to refer to the product simply as "Crystal" almost exclusively from here on out. The volume of "clear"-oriented wordplay also quickly reaches the point of overkill, with the announcer using the phrase, ad nauseum, to express the new soft drink's unequivocal chances to succeed. Despite only being released in test markets to this point, Crystal is heralded as something that's "sweeping the nation." Supporting evidence only serves to prove that Crystal Pepsi is, get this... a cola, with Pepsi on the label and it's new. In an unexpected twist, we then join cola chemists at Pepsi headquarters, as they aim to discover the perfect pH for the soft drink - an experiment that is purported to have occupied a full year-and-a-half of their time. Testimonials, each from Pepsi employees, echo the drink's positive attributes, as they speculate on key differentiators of their company's newest offering. Further endorsements lead to the entire film's apex, as one of the talking heads, while commenting on the can/bottle design, asserts that "you look at it and you have to look twice and say, 'wow, that's a cola in there - I want to try that!'"
The goal for Crystal is explained to not just be a sales boost for Pepsi, but rather a complete fundamental shift for carbonated soft drinks as a category. Taking that notion a step further, the announcer proclaims that the new beverage will be Pepsi's "flagship product" - bear in mind, this is coming from a company that is literally named after one specific, well-established product. Why such a bold claim? Well, according to three employees, the test markets went nicely, so, obviously, this will be their biggest, most successful brand to date. "Crystal is not a flash in the pan," according to an unnamed staff member, a claim that the host doubles down on, guaranteeing that it will be "around for a long time." Naturally, this sets the stage for a sales-oriented pep talk... after all, the future is CRYSTAL CLEAR!
Now that we're acquainted with the brand, the next section of the video features a series of sales roleplays, designed to help us confidently highlight features & benefits and overcome customer objections. If you're playing along at home, make sure to "STOP TAPE" when instructed to do so and test your aptitude for representing the brand!
For more on Crystal Pepsi, check out this review that I made for the 2018 re-release. The video features a full product history, complete with all the original can designs, plus a blind head-to-head taste test vs. regular Pepsi: • CTC Review #108 - Crys...
If you're interested in this kind of stuff, please subscribe to the CTC UA-cam channel. We have already uploaded 800 commercials from the 80s/90s and reviewed over 1,000 new & limited edition foods.
How to say absolutely nothing in 16 minutes and 25 seconds.
They say some stuff: it's clear, sales and profits and uhhhh… did I mention it's clear?
Isn't that all corporate slosh?
seems like they ask reasonable questions and then bepis says something like it'll sell and just put it up and it'll sell. well atleast we got to know how well it did
welcome to corporate
@@fermiLiquidDrinker no it's crystal corporate slush
This is like writing your essay and you're done by page 2, but the teacher requires 10 pages.
EXACTLY! I hate wordy fluff. Make your point and be done.
Or like writing a business plan
Marketing people are some of the worst humans to ever exist, like you have to be a REAL piece of shit to go into marketing.
Stephen Seehorn I’ll let our marketing manager know that when I get to work tomorrow, what should I tell HR when I go to see them after? Any advice ?
@@KingofCrusher Many people have felt that way, but what we have found is that if you destructively irradiate the part of your frontal cortex responsible for moral reasoning you may become much less critical of people who work in marketing.
I'm 5 minutes in but it only feels like 4 hours.
i made it 3 minutes and had to bail
1 minute in and i’m bout ready to quit
2:28 and I'm done and wondering why I miss the 80s and 90s 😋
made it to 13min and now i have this nice full beard 👍
@@starkicker5623 same lol
"My grandmother isn't doing so well." "I understand your concern for your grandmother. Thinking less about her and more about crystal Pepsi means more sales and profit."
Sound like somebody got through all the role plays...
"Chemotherapy is expensive and painful. Perhaps give ol' gramgram a cold slug of Crystal Pepsi instead."
@@ignoblesurfer6281 Ever heard the story of the first chemotherapy? Ship full of chemical weapons sinks, survivors in the water got the first chemo lol
try putting grandma in a cold barrel. It will maximize profits
🤣🤣
At a board meeting:
"What... Our competitors have used cocaine, in their Cola"
"Lets try Meth in ours".
the crystal marketing team clearly had too much coke
It's a winning formula.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule is that really why it was discontinued?
i see what you did there. lol
I wish
Store: But we don’t have any more free space near our cash registers...
Salesman: What we found is 80% of the stores that sold this got more Profits. The other 20% mysteriously burned to the ground. How many cases would you like to order?
The Vaporwave scene is going to be mining this video for screenshots for years to come.
My legacy ^
It's so freaking true 'cause I found this on r/Vaporwave in Reddit
That's awesome! I love that sub.
@@christianalvarado7915 same, bro
There are some sounds in here I'm going to use in a music project.
"I run a small independent grocery store" Who's gonna break it to this guy that his grocery store is just a backdrop with merchandising shelves drawn on?
It's real to him
Clearly Pepsi’s only sales tactic was to end every answer with “more profits” or “increased sales”
Someone watched the role play section.
NPC dialogue
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule I even stopped the video when they asked.
It does sound like Oblivion
Let me get this straight...increased sales AND more profits??!? SIGN ME UP!
My friend got addicted to Crystal Pepsi drinking at least a 12 pack a day. Then they stopped making it and he died.
So did the sales and profits of your locally-owned grocery stores, then.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule That's because his friend stopped drinking it after he died, which reduced sales, which reduced profits.
Your friend died as a hero.
Cool story, bro!
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule pretty sure their friend was actually on CRYSTAL METH...not Pepsi
This seems more like a pitch video than a training video.
They are training vendors on how to pitch it. Also, trying to pitch it to vendors at the same time. Nice to see sales haven’t changed in 30 years.
@@matthews835 sales... Sales never changes..
@@matthews835
I dont know about ANY of that.... I'm just here for the kick-ass theme music! Only if it wasnt so heavy.... I think its "grindcore", or some other death metal subgenre. I usually prefer softer, cheezier theme songs in my early 90s soda sales training films! 😁
The first half is a backgrounder, then the second half is more of a traditional sales training. I bet the first half was played for investors or management types, too.
*brainwashing
"I've got no extra space for display"
"YOU'LL DISPLAY IT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT! LET THE CUSTOMERS TRIP OVER IT FOR ALL WE CARE!"
oh, you'll take the coldbarrell...
It will lead to more sales and profit.
@@jimmyredd You're gonna stick that barrel right next to the sandwiches so your customers can stand in line freezing their hand off with a sopping wet can of ice cold PROFIT
What we have found in our test markets is that health conscious consumers love Crystal Pepsi’s you break it, you buy it marketing; which means more sales and more profits.
when i imagined marketing gibberish, this is exactly what came to my mind but I didn't know it.
“When you look at it you have to look twice. It’s like wow, that’s a cola in there, I want to try that.”
He said it about 3 seconds before I read it...
The acting was priceless. 😄
Merchant: I have a concern about doing the thing.
Pepsi rep: I understand your concern about doing the thing. But you should do the thing, because there will be *More Sales and More Profits*
You're hired.
Yeah, that’s called sales and more importantly what a business owner does, not a job/cubicle slave. It’s how you get a bigger slice of the pie.
@@DoctorShocktor you may have missed the point of the joke which was about the repetition of this vague claim for every concern.
STOP TAPE
It will appeal to the health conscious consumer.
Usually when people say, "it tastes diffrent" means they don't like it.
Haha. Not to mention, it tastes practically identical to Pepsi.
Consumer Time Capsule that in itself is not a selling point for many people.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule no, it didn't, lol
@@foylepoirot1437 It did. That's literally a main point of the video. It was caffeine free Pepsi with no food coloring. How does that not qualify as "practically identical"???
All the kids will be clearly hooked on crystal!
Meth
bassbinrevival Crystal Meth Pepsi - marketing genius idea
It’s deff a meth have for the kids!
Better than being hooked on coke?
It's TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT!!
Crystal Pepsi was less successful than its little known cousin, Crystal Meth.
yeah pepsi pushed the wrong product
Haha. Yeah, that Crystal is definitely here to stay.
it contained 1% meth they coppied coke with the 1% cocaine
I couldn't stop thinking about that everytine they referred to it by a name what also happens to shorthand for crystal methamphetamine.
You,my friend, are correct.
There's never been a product quite like Cripple Piss.
You got that right. Haha.
A HOH SIS
It would be nice to look at consumers' balls.
I remember kinda liking it. It appealed to my needs as a health-concious consumer.
100 nasty ass flavors.
I think the idea that it's not a drink, makes it seem like it's a drink.
Thanks, Scrotal Beverage Company!
I wonder why a product that has fewer cats than the competition didn’t stay around.
@@cellina.starfire Maybe because it brings rats to stores.
But how will Crystal Helpsi help increase help in my HELP?
Store Managers: "I just don't know about Crystal Pepsi."
Pepsi: "I understand, but just put it in your store. It'll increase sales and profits." *Stares at the managers with whirling eyes* "SALES AND PROFITS! SALES AND PROFITS!"
Why can’t I stop hearing hearing “it would be nice to look at consumers’ balls” at the start XD.
There you are! i scrolled way to long for this...
Our customers are looking for a product that will bring rats to their stores! Eh eh eh!
" Here at Pepsi, we've literally ran out of ideas so in a moment of desperation, we asked the janitor what he would do to make Pepsi better. After farting and scratching his balls, he said to take the color out. Soooo, that's what we did ".
That’s highly unfair, you simplified the process way too much. They also made the flavor worse.
Whoever leaked this must've been threatened to be shot if they did.
The guy that sold this tape to me like 16 or 17 years ago is a saint and you know it.
I feel bad for whoever had to make those hand-drawn store and warehouse backgrounds. So much effort into making something not very good and used for such an inane purpose...
I've thought about that many times. A truly thankless job.
It’s called doing it cheap because nothing better was needed, it’s just a dumb corporate piece. This is how ya makes the monies.
It's the same today. Spending countless hours on videography, graphics, animation, art, design, post-production, etc. to create ads for stuff... some of which you know is useless or untruthful. All to convince the consumer that buying your client's product will somehow Elevate Their Consciousness or Make The World A Better Place.
Consider that if you think of going into the creative industries. That's why I decided to go into engineering instead...
It's not like these guys do it for free or fun, they're making money 🤑
Great tape. Glad it was able to be preserved and enjoyed for years to come.
I'm so happy to do it. Can't imagine how the internet survived without it.
9:20 and 9:30 you can just faintly hear the director saying Action, this is a well put together tape
I can't even count how many times I've watched this and I never noticed. Nice work!
How the hell did you even notice that?
Tony must’ve had headphones
Corporate vids often have rock bottom budgets and the latest idiot marketing director or assistant just gives the job to the lowest bid. Welcome to America!
Got another one, you can hear "cut" at 11:50
At at 12:16 the same direction from 11:50 says "now"
My dad worked for Pepsi during this...he said it was SUCH a flop
Yeah, it was a horrible failure, but it's relaunches during the last few summers have done fairly well.
Yeah I noticed they had a v2.0. Sometimes it just takes a little practice I guess. They were just ahead of their time
It was mostly a nostalgia play. I know that I was a big fan of Crystal Pepsi (obviously, given that I have the training tape) and I was happy to get another taste. That said, the formula was different than the one profiled here.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule
Speaking purely about the taste, there was nothing wrong with the original formula. At least, when compared to the 2016-2017 version, it didn't use GMOs. That said, I am glad I still have my stash of 2016's! But what I really want is a return of Crystal Pepsi, Pepsi Blue, AND Josta..... at the same time!
If only they'd had a recent model to follow of a huge, well established cola brand making a new recipe only to be met with anger and rejection.
"Crystal has generated the kind of following that guarantees that it will be around for a long time"
Narrator "It was not around for a long time"
Feels like I'm watching Rick's interdimensional cable ads
Sales training to overcome objections. Summary: "I understand you concerns but this will sale like our other non clear beverage"...wow...amazing.
I actually remember exactly where I was the first time I tried a Crystal Pepsi. I was 14 years old and I was taking a CPR/first aid certification class so that I could get more babysitting gigs in my neighborhood.
Unrelated: I love how all of the Pepsi reps in the role plays (except for the lady) are pitching it like they have a gun held to their heads. 😂😂
My first Crystal Pepsi was at a "Lil Peach" convenience store with my dad. I literally can't remember if I ever had another one after that (until it came back), which was their main problem. Tons of one time buys, very few repeat buys. And, yeah, those role plays are tough to watch. Haha.
That's what people look like when they're reading off a cue card.
That's probably because they did, and a voice in their ear-piece: "Just remain calm....face the camera and...push...the....Pepsi....we have people watching your home"
This video was uploaded with the most thorough description. It's one of my favorite writings I've ever read.
Thank you so much! It needed a proper description. I hope most folks take the time to read it.
1992: _"Crystal (Pepsi) has generated a following that guarantees that it will be around for a LOOONG time."_
2019: What Crystal Pepsi?
It's more popular now than it was then... not that that's saying much.
Wrong not even 1995.
Lol they did rerelease it for a little bit. I think they did it last year? Sometimes I still occasionally see it.
@@lynn3310 yeah I think I saw it at walmart 1 month or 2 ago
i buy it when I see it. it's just Pepsi without the food dye. all pops should be clear.
If it had caffeine it would sell but then it would just compete with regular Pepsi
Has the LA Beast seen this video yet? He’s the crystal pepsi man!
He was here on day one. Even left a comment.
Peeling the foam labels off of those glass bottles was so satisfying
You got that right.
I still do that with the glass bottles of Original New York Seltzer
Stop the tape. Yeah, but.. more profit and more sales.
This guy gets it.
"But the REAL success of Crystal is the repeat business." Hahaha, you can say that again.
So many lolzy meth references here. It's like they predicted the future. "Crystal Methsi".
Yeah, simply calling it "Crystal" didn't age very well. Haha.
Yeah, that's methed up
I wish they would bring it back!
A 15 second ad for NEW CRYSTAL PEPSI is more than enough to convince me to buy this product... but 16 minutes is just torture.
"All that I want is a Crystal Pepsi to share with you..."
Those 2-liters are a thing of beauty. If only we could have them back! Cannot wait for the 2022 return.
Back in the day, cola had cocaine in it, so crystal should have meth in it.
Well played.
It would have sold much better
that was still a good hundred years before this video
"An alternative uh...beverage!"
Clearly.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule Ha😃 I see what you did there 😉👍
Crystal Pepsi Training Video: *Exists*
Vaporwave artists:
It's F R E E R E A L E S T A T E
Also this entire video feels straight out of tim and eric..
Gotta' get that AESTHETIC
Man I fell asleep watching a totally unrelated video and woke up and this video was playing. How did the UA-cam algorithm take me here???
Im so glad Crystal Pepsi is still around! It really revolutionized soda.
how the hell does it take anyone 16 minutes and 25 seconds to explain the premise of crystal friggin pepsi
each minute drives increased traffic, which will in return see a spike in sales, which translates to more profit
@@vanillacokejunky well played
It's perfectly clear what I need to do. Subscribed.
There's never been a product quite like Cripple Piss. A HoH SiS.
Well, it was sew in lowdium, had fewer cats, and it was fucking free.
My wife just died and my store is going bankrupt! Plus my store is literally 20 square feet.
That’s why you really want a Cold Barrel in your store. If people buy a bag of chips they’ll buy a crystal Pepsi and that equals more profits for you.
They lost me at caffeine free..
Amen.
Two years later: "Crystal WHO!?!" -PepsiCo
I started working in sales at Pepsi in 2005, by then we just put in the contract you have to accept all new innovation products. Good times.
I love how you can hear "action" multiple times lol
I thought I was clicking on an old SNL skid... but now I'm thirsty, and scared 90's haircuts will come back.
Well, there was Crystal Gravy, but this is 100% real.
If Crystal Pepsi was so profitable you would think they could at least afford to hire some competent actors, or film more than one take. I love the guy at 8:51 “looking for an alternative…uh, beverage”
Sounds like he's talking about meth
Crystal. Just crystal.
When i was a kid i was obsessed with Crystal Pepsi when it came out.
The perfect hip beverage for the 90s! By 1996, I bet Crystal Pepsi will utterly dominate the soft drink market! Look out, world... here comes Crystal Pepsi!
I'm drinking a Crystal Pepsi while watching this video, satisfying as hell..
An experience 26 years in the making.
Me too
Where the hell are you people getting crystal pespsi
Tangerine Tech that’s what I wanted to know also !!!! WTH ????? 😂😂😂😂
Oh man, I feel like this Crystal Pepsi thing is _really_ gonna take off! Definitely here to stay.
I was 13 when this came out. August 92 vacation trip with the family to Disneyland in a giant Ford ecoliner. Good memories.:-)
I got to three minutes while reading the comments and thought most assuredly it had to be almost over.
1992: A whole new Cola Experience! A clear cut success!
Me in 1993, 'where is all the crystal Pepsi?'
"........it looks like a beautiful package!"
Me: hehehehehehehehehe
Well played.
I'll always remember crystal Pepsi from when I was a kid
10:42 "is it here to stay?" *avoids question*
They say it's here to stay a few times in the tape. I wonder how that turned out.
You forgot Stop tape directly after lol
This all started with the meat slicer guy from Old Country Buffet. Now I’m here. Lol
I've seen u on every video, its been reassuring. I feel like you're still going down the rabbit hole.
I don't think this much about a car before I buy it. But a soft drink, this is a big decision.
Thanks for this video. I'm finally gonna beat Brenda at sales and profits!
I believe in you!
We need this brand again
We. Need. Chadtronic.
Huh?
Consumer Time Capsule he’s a UA-camr who reacts to stuff like this
Sweet. Let's get it to him.
I remember this coming out when I was 16.
I recall thinking if I should save a couple of bottles because I wasn't sure how long it would be around.
I'm 45 and everytime I mention it someone my age they don't remember it.
I did like it !
Everytime I hear Van Halen - Right Now, I immediately think of the release commercial for this product.
Those salesmen went on to be the top most elite salesmen of our generation
The amount of 90s in this video is TOO DAMN HIGH
I liked how it tasted when it came out in the 90s and few years ago. Wish it stay around.
They need to bring this back for like a month for fun
I can't wait to try the new Cripple Piss!
Pepsi: If you can see through it, 'health conscious consumers' will buy it.
"I have legitimate concerns about Crystal Pepsi"
"Sales and profits, sales and profits, sales and profits"
"Okay, you've convinced me"
"Can this product help me get my religious boating trip business off the ground?"
"You'll have more sails and extra prophets"
10/10 dad joke!!!!! 🤣
Underrated comment. 👌
I'm Christian but THAT'S DAMN FUNNY.
Decent!
Lol... Well done.
So clear, I can't see it anymore
HAHAHA. Well played.
Haha! Good one.
Ha ha ha
just like, john cena.
There’s even Diet Crystal Pepsi, for anyone who was born without taste buds.
Amazing throwback!!!
Glad you checked it out, Beast!
The Beast brought me here. Have A Good Day!!!
Thanks for your efforts in bringing it back recently, even if it was for a short time. I was able to grab a 20oz bottle and greatly enjoyed it. I'm 38 now but it took me back to when I was around 12 years old. I miss Crystal Pepsi.
Was wondering when you were going to comment beast.
Have a good day!!!! I'm binge watching your video's right now. Oh and F U youtube for jacking around with LA beast's views!!!
This is why I pay for internet access.
I liked this so much I made it into a full terrible 80's song ua-cam.com/video/WtJnQ5jTDT0/v-deo.html
To true endless
The World Wide Web (WWW) will be big one day. Better get on it early.
STOP TAPE... Me Too!
Money well spent for sure.
This is what I would buy a time machine for, how many cases of Crystal can I bring back for you?
"Crystal has generated the kind of following that guarantees it'll be around for a LONG time" 😢
Niver heard of this pepsi obviously niver made it to the UK or did not make it
@@madally2009 It ran from 1992-1994 appearing 'briefly' in the UK according to Wiki. It was a short lived but good soda.
I remember seeing crystal a few years ago
We're still talking about it
Absolutely insane. I read your comment and as I was reading it, THE GUY SAID EXACTLY WHAT I WAS READING!!!!! It was like a quarter of a second off, but still pretty much on point to exactly as I was reading. So weird.
Me: *scroll scroll scroll"
UA-cam: you wanna watch a Crystal Pepsi training video?
Me: I mean...
It just asked me and I couldn't say no. It was so polite. It would have been rude of me to do otherwise.
Lol
YES
_i mean_
And here we are
"Certainly not a flash in the pan."
"Guaranteed it will be around for a long time."
Don't question the tape. Crystal Pepsi will live forever.
"Crystal is certainly not a flan. It's a brand. It's a brand of flan. They ask for flan and they're buying a brand of flan again and agan."
i feel like if they marketed it as a limited time offer (then expanded if it was successful) it would’ve done much better and not harmed the brand as much
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
To be fair, it was back on the market in 2018-2019 and may still be around in 2020. It was unique enough to be hard to forget.
After watching this I feel confident enough to sell any bullsh*t.
Just remember... sales and profits!
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule Spoken like a true Ferengi.
Lol
Well, talking about Crystal Pepsi and sales...
You’ve got a bright future in the door to door sales of vacuums and mystery cleaning products
“We at Pepsi understand our customer. And our customers want Cola. That’s why we developed a cola that isn’t a cola at all. It will be around forever.”
Y'see, jazz is like Jell-o pudding... no, it's actually it's more like Kodak film... no, actually Jazz is like the new Pepsi - it'll be around forever. Hehehehehe
@@Hotlog69 🤜🤛
There’s a “crystal” product that’s been selling well for 25 years but it’s not a Pepsi
Exactly what I thought!
Shard
Its weed
🧐
Say my name.
15:08 “times are tough now. I just don’t think crystal will sell well in my store” this man was a prophet.
And the slimy salesman sounds like Satan 😂
The longer this goes on......the longer it goes on
The longer it goes on means increased sales and profits for you!
It's the newest addition to the Pepsi lineup, and its new.
STOP TAPE .... now more time has been spent
That’s like saying “last night in the Bronx 5 people were killed by a fire in the Bronx that killed 5 people”
Underrated
The real Pepsi challenge is being able to sit through all 16 minutes of this.
Anybody who was able to sit through this/actually interested should be on a watchlist.
@@yellowblanka6058 I'm heading back to the Wendy's training video.
It's easy I'm watching this while drinking a Pepsi 😂
@@yellowblanka6058 how could anyone not sit through this entire video? Only weirdos would choose not to watch this.
"Crystal Pepsi doesn't taste like any other clear drink, it's got a different taste" hahhahahhaa
None of those reviews were positive lmao
Almost like Pepsi or something
I remember thinking it tasted like a sweeter, maybe just smoother sprite lol
"It's the first new soft drink in awhile to fly the Pepsi banner, and it's new" 1:52
@@ChrisLeeW00 best selling point of all time
12:08 "I understand space is an issue. What I'd like for you to do is throw out your entire stock of Coca Cola products. This will increase profits for Lord PEPSI.
And become part of the Pepsi people!!!!
That would be Saint Pepsi. 😜
“Crystal Pepsi is not a flash in the pan”
...I’m glad I was alive to drink it as a kid, and as an adult during both pan flashes.
fuck you
@@user-73a Wow, come down there Crystal Pepsi man.
I missed it both times
@@yodiggitty8225 I'm sorry to hear that. Why or how did you miss the rerelease?
@@jonnda it came out the first time a decade before I was born, and the second time I just didnt care enough to try it
"Crystal Pepsi is good because it is new. Now let's listen to some upbeat music."
It really didn't taste like anything
„Human music... i like it!“
I didn't have the remake Crystal Pepsi a dew years ago but the original was actually not bad. Kinda over sweet I guess.
@@Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence never had the original but I had the remake last year and it was good
Caffeine free cola without caramel color, still not a terrible idea. I mean, it’s perfectly clear that crystal flew right of the shelves. No one has anything like it.
But I don't want to murder my family
STOP TAPE
But I don't want to murder my family
I understand your family is at a premium in your life. But market tests show replacing your family with cold barrels will increase beverage sales, which will lead to more sales, which will lead to more profits.
DING
LOL this comment needs a thousand likes
/resume tape
Omg
This comment had me chuckling uncontrollably for a solid minute
What is this comment spoofing?
"it doesn't taste like any other clear drinks that I've ever tasted. it's got a different taste."
Yeah...Ass Flavor
Its supposed to taste brown
Then they made the black guy imply that it was better because they took the dark out of it.
How many different clear drinks could there possibly be
@@D-Fens_1632 ikr I actually thought at first he said "it's a whiter drink" instead of lighter. He also says it with all the enthusiasm of someone being held against their will.