"The White Elf" by Dungeon Wolf (THE WORST METAL ALBUM OF 2023?) | ALBUM REVIEW
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- Опубліковано 23 лис 2023
- Dungeon Wolf are out of touch, out of ideas, and out of their damn minds on, what is very likely, the worst album of 2023.
"The White Elf" by Dungeon Wolf
Released November 22nd 2023 independently
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“All the Florida people, tryin’ to eat my ass.” - Eat My Ass by Dungeon Wolf.
That’s it. They’ve won metal. We can all hang it up and go home.
Looking at the album in Bandcamp I see it’s only supported by an older woman , no hate against her I just assume it’s a mother of a band member , truly an album only a mother could love
They're somewhere in their fifties or sixties. Seems more like one of their wives but they don't seem like the type of men to have relationships to begin with.
One thing’s for sure: If you like this band, you will definitely never #GetSome
Rofl nailed it
The fact this review is longer than the ACTUAL album should tell you how incompetent The White Elf is lmao
I laughed gleefully when I listened to it. It is so bad that it goes into territory occupied by things like Birdemic and McDonald's tiny hamburgers. Nothing can trump what is shown on this album. This isn't comparable to artists like Tom Macdonald and Psycho Synner, this is genuinely a league of its own. Dungeon Wolf out of five, I hope they continue to release music.
Yeah, I listened to Eat my Ass out of curiosity, and the thing got stuck in my head like goddamn herpes.
You know it's bad when every review you see of an album seems to have more effort put into them than the actual album.
It can't be the worst album of 2023 because I put an album out in 2023.
EDIT: I just listened to it. Comment rescinded. Dungeon Wolf wins.
Props for taking the L so respectfully, like a champ. Take notes Dungeon Wolf.
Never even heard of Dungeon Wolf. Went to Spotify to see if the new album was there so I could at least get some knowledge of what they sound like but it’s not there so I’m going to take that as a sign from the metal gods to just forget about it. They only have like 38 monthly listeners anyway.
Edit: Morbid curiosity got the better of me and oh my fucking god!!…I looked them up on UA-cam and Jesus Christ; this is brutal and not in a good way. I’m genuinely laughing so much, my head is pounding.
After your worst metal bands video; I checked out three songs from Dungeon Wolf, and I was shocked and flabbergasted at how bad they were. They legit sound like a parody of traditional heavy metal with some of the laziest instrumentation and vocals and some of the most horrible production and mixing I’ve ever heard that would even make early 90’s Darkthrone sound amazing (and I like that unholy trilogy of albums). This has to be a joke band; because if they aren’t, they may be the worst metal band of all time right alongside Tougher Than Nails and Psycho Synner.
Bro Dungeon Wolf is worse than Nightmares of the EEEEcomposed
Chris Barnes has serious competition now
Dude, come on. It's no longer funnEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Dungeon Wolf makes that Six Feet Under album sound like Hell Awaits.
Dude Psychosexual made better music lol
I'm honestly incredibly impressed that you sat through the whole thing. I listened to 1 minute of it, and then immediately had to wash it off with the entirety of Olhava's "Reborn". That album is 79 minutes long lmao
"Hey mom! Can we get some Manilla Road?"
"No honey. We have Manilla Road at home."
The Manilla Road at home:
I will admit that after looking at this album, it’s honestly quite funny. I mean, it made me laugh at how terrible it is, even despite being… well, terrible.
Even then I’d say that what 30STM dropped this year (Yes They’re still around) was worse, cause that was virtually lifeless. This however did make me feel something.
Addressing the dungeon wolf in the throne room, i think ill wait for the dungeon wolf guy to respond while listening to Wolves in the throne room instead of listening to this album.
Surely they are ...Trolling?!? 🤨
God I hope so but also I hope this is real. Its funny either way. Its also still terrible either way lmao.
Psychosynner has some competition now
If these guys are trolling?! That’s an epic and amazing troll job I must admit lmaooo I kinda hope that’s what they’re doing. Great video as always Robert! 🤘🍻
I gotta be honest, I do believe this is a troll
I listened to the title track for this album and am almost convinced this whole band is trolling. Come on, it’s so obvious. Especially with the comments about being not a snowflake and all that. It’s honestly hilarious.
I think the song "Eat My Ass" is hilarious, it is god fuckin awful though.
These guys are definetly trolls. I looked them up due to your Channel and the first video is of some dude dressed as an out of shape Scott Steiner watching what looks like a 90s Playstation Version of Tremors. If they are looking for attention then you are providing it. Your review was entertaining so they get the attention and you get the material. Not a bad trade off
I can't believe people don't realize they're just trolling with a joke band.
im very sure these dudes are trolling. these dudes are reaching legendary status for trolling. aint nothing but love and respect for that. this album is what the nwothm needed. something that reminds us that the nwothm died years ago and these dudes are here to piss on the grave
should we have anything that can go into the negative a Dungeon Wolf out of 5? some things just need to have a negative rating, and this might be it
You might be right come to think of it...
If this isnt a troll band then wtf? 👀👂🏻🙉
Just listened to The White Elf. Dude, I think you've been punked. This can't be a real release. It has to be a joke. It is beyond bad. Nails on a chalkboard bad.
Gonna be heading a good friend's birth shenanigans, but I'm totally putting this video up on the big screen at work later.
I put on your "Worst" vid from the other day and had a good friend almost spit up his Chili cuz he was laughing so hard.
I'm late to the party, but I actually listened to this album and, yeah. Psycho Synner/5 for me. It's a slap in the face to all heavy metal music. I don't even know how this record is not a Psycho Synner/5, I think it's that bad.
Nerd culture and hyper traditional masculine conservatism seem incompatible with each other, so it amuses me when I see them together. Dungeon Wolf must be a joke, right? It's a really good one if so.
I listened to the white elf and got 3 inches taller. Best album of the year, and possibly of the decade
How about this: i LOVE the new Dungeon Wolf album because i didn't hear it. 😉
This band is probably one of the best troll projects I’ve ever seen
Man, I thought your Psycho Synner reviews were funny, but this is somehow even funnier. 🤣😂
Keep up the great work!
Went to listen to this and it’s horribleness exceeded my expectations for how shit it would be. How is it even possible to be this passionate about music yet so bad at it? The name “Metal is Back” for their debut album is so disrespectful to bands of the old like Sabbath, and some of the newest acts like Darko US.
there's Dungeon Wolf's first mistake. They attempted to send that to Metal Trenches. It has to sound like two cars crashing into each other at 150mph to be any good to him.
Patiently waiting for the response from Dungeon Wolf 😂
I know literally nothing about this band... after this, I'm happy to go back to the rock I was living under
GNAW THEIR TONGUES DROPPED A NEW ALBUM TODAY!
Figured I'd let you know cause what better what to utilize the feelings this album created than with some humanity hating music lol
That album is just harsh and horrifying nonsense and I mean that in the best way possible, Gnaw Their Tongues never cease to amaze/terrify.
@themetalmeltdownofficial 🤤🤤🤤 hell yeah! I didn't even know they were doing that, so it was an awesome surprise. I was gonna spin it today at work, but it's not on Spotify, so im gonna buy it when im off
this is why you dont do drugs kids
I can't seem to find them on Spotify?
Thats a good thing I promise lmao
They have a Bandcamp though, if you for some reason really want to torture yourself with this
@@themetalmeltdownofficial I'm morbidly curious. My curiosity is peaked
Dungeon wolf makes ironic punishment division sound good in comparison and thats stretching it
I 110% agree. This album sucks ass through a crazy straw lol
Dungeon Wolf is The Room of Metal music lol.
IIIIII'M THE WHITE ELF, SYMBOL OF VIRTUE.... oh hi Mark
Yes, Happy Birthday to you 🎂. And Anna as well. Give Chompy pound for me.
Yippee! More Catatonic Youths-core!
Holy shit this album is bad. I had no fucking clue about the deep lore with this band LOL.
Why? I watched your entire video and fully knew what to expect, yet still I chose to listen to this "album." Why did I do that? That was 14 minutes of my life that I will never get back. These songs are completely irredeemable, and that is coming from the former sole member of a band called "Electronic Goat Raper 6000."
Could you do a Mortician album ranking???????
Is this any relation to Diamond Cobra and the White Fox?
I heard that these guys harassed you, I heard this album was bad, and I had to check out at least 2 of the songs…legit, this is the kind of bad that has to be heard to be believed. They believed this was good! They thought this 4 track “album”, with a song titled “eat my ass” was going to spark a revolution or some shit!
Still, the harassment…Jesus.
Eat My Ass is so funny 😂 sounds like something Randy from South Park would do drunk and ruin an event
Good news dungeon wolf posted this review on their facebook 👌
😎
The weird thing is, skimming through Barbed Wire Tattoo they seem to have once understood the basics of music. Sure it was uninspired, production was thin and weak, but there was a notion they were vaguely familiar with how to write a song and they were mostly in time back then. It wasn't good music by any means but jfc The White Elf is something else entirely.
It's like if Chris Chan got her fingers on a guitar and just went to town with whatever went through her mind this very second.
Please review Igitur by Sea Mosquito if you can!
I'm not saying it's really good, and I realise there's a personal stake in this: harrassment and stuff, as you mentioned, but I personally think you have reviewed much, much worse stuff on this very channel. I even feel in a sense that Dungeon WOlf's heart is in the right place, unlike, I don't know, Psycho Sinner or Sexual or whatever.
Am I the only person who seriously gets annoyed when these wanna be “masculine” men try to use the word woke as some sort of derogatory term? Like cmon people it’s almost 2024, time to grow tf up already and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and what makes them happy.. but these guys want to be taken seriously yet they put out a trash album.
Nahh I'm with ya, I roll my eyes and giggle every time I hear these ultra macho types cry about 'woke' shit lmao
I knew this day would come the headache on hearing this monstrosity and worse than the Christmas album and Otep covers oh my god I want to give it a biggest score every -100000 out 10
Same dude.
Sorry this is unrelated but have you ever heard of ancient north?
Angry Fan Boy Drinking Game coming up. Angry Fan Boy : Dungeon Wolf.
I could very easily make a drinking game out of Dungeon Wolf comments lmao
@@themetalmeltdownofficial Can't wait to see their reply to this review! 🤣
@themetalmeltdownofficial All them hungry people trying to eat my ass! 🤣🤣🤣 Literally tears rolling down my face. Thanks for recommending a good laugh. 👍
I know that Thanksgiving already passed, but I'm thankful that The White Elf exists because it led to a hilarious review that made my morning! 🤣
Ok I listened to them & ya I’m not getting that time back
Jeez I just listened to it 😂😂😂😂oh dear.
Robert I suggest a cure ok.
Your amazing beer brined pork chops and that wonderful cassoulet and a bottle of Jack Daniels should do the trick ❤😂😂😂😂
Agreed
Damn man, after all the videos about this band, I simply had to go and see what all the hype is about, I didn't think they can be that bad.. Unfortunately, I was proven wrong.. I listened to the title track and managed to get to the solo, at which point it was too painful to continue.. Honestly, I first thought you might be a bit bias given your history with the band, but DAMN, that was really awful..
😂😂😂😂😂
methinks you are feeding a troll
That’s what I’m thinking, too. I feel like I’m wearing a tinfoil hat with that observation, though.
They're definitely taking the piss but I think on some level they ARE serious about what they do, otherwise I don't see why they'd go to such lengths.
Bro... I feel your pain about Dungeon Wolf. Will be drinking a Kracken Rum and Coke tonight for moral support. 🤘 😂
Lobotomy the album
I’ve got one word to describe this album. Ew. That’s it. I turned it off after 5 seconds. Not even gonna bother trying lol.
For fans of Metallica - St Anger when they want something even less listenable
Ngl i kinda want to hear this album now just to hear for myself the tragedy that is this album.
With the album cue the “ENDLESS TRASH” meme.
A better album definitely is that new panopticon
I haven't even heard it yet... but yes, absolutely.
As a gen Z kid who enjoys old school rock from the 80s and 70s I only have this to say about Dungeon Wolf
You guys need to chill it with the attitude you are throwing at The Metal Meltdown, you’re giving metal and rock a bad name by acting so immature you make a new born look like they can be prime minister of Canada. Go home you’re drunk.
On a side note there is a lot of bands and artists I’ve seen that have tried to bring back the 80s/70s sound
Chez Kane
H.E.A.T
The Casanovas
Crown Lands
Dorothy
Dragonland
Edge of Paradise
Enforcer
Frozen Crown
Burning Witches
And Sophie Lloyd
(I know most of these are power metal bands, but still)
Dungeon Wolf, you’ve only made jokes of yourselves
I’ll give credit to psychos sinner, least with those guys they actually made a pretty impressive feat releasing nine albums in one day granted, none of that music was good, but still, I’m impressed that they did it.
Dungeon Wolf try better or don’t try at all. Keep on rocking metal meltdown 🤘
Enforcer are alright, but I'm not huge on their sound. Still, it's music I would consider owning unlike dungeon wolf.
@@sirspookybones1118 at least with enforcer they aren’t trying hard to sound like grumpy old grandpa bingeing on Fox News beer in hand, and screaming at GenZ kids for not appreciating black Sabbath or Judas Priest. And is an amateur on the guitar.
There's also towers of London and hard steel they to are considered the worst
Low hanging fruit. Let a few older fellas dream. My brother just had cancer surgery & I… I just prefer the positive side of UA-cam which seems to vanish quickly.
No one feels ‘old’ & the tastes change, so I feel it’s cruel to pick at someone for so much time, even if they’re only ok. We’ve got to learn to rise above Robert. Negativity really sucks, even if it’s from them or you, so , I’ll say a positive, I really enjoyed your cooking video, I could tell you were in you element & the food looked really good. Thanks for all the entertainment Metal Meltdown
Ok, just heard that stuff about "The WHite Elf" actually being some "anti-woke" anthem. yeah they are pretty silly and I guess when I say their hearts are in the right place, I mean musically. I don't think the production is bad or at least, it suits my ears, and I like what I think are their influences a lot. Performances could use some work but, the band just seemed almost endearing to me with their combination of lack-of-fanfare and true-metal posturing. Could have fooled me that that's not the same singer as their old stuff...vocals still sound like a real bad Manilla Road/Longing's Past imitation.
That album cover alone is cringe meter 😂
Love how they're whining about "woke" but get mad when someone says their music was bad lol. Like I thought the fanboys were bad but it looks like they got a page out of Ronnie's book about whining about dumb shit lol
Oh no, he's caught bad music disease again
Wow! Probably the worst metal album cover too. Makes goregrind folks look like a fine art piece.
Dude, I love the way you’re frothing at the mouth about all the barrel-scraping incompetence and stupidity and then, AND THEN, we hear “ And then there’s the song Eat My Arse”. Bwaaahaa! Seriously, thanks for listening to this turd for us. I’m tempted to listen to it just to see how bad it really is, but I’m worried about breaking my algorithm.
I’m gonna have to hear how bad this thing is just for the meme value now 😂 I’m expecting The Room in musical form 😂
Truly the.... thing... of all time!
I feel like I am wearing a tinfoil hat while I’m thinking this, but I truly feel like they’re just trying to annoy you. Like, not releasing the album for weeks, and then releasing it ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? Am I going crazy, or am I not? I hope genuinely that this is the last time you’re going to talk about Dungeon Wolf, because from here on out, I don’t think they need the attention from you anymore.
I mean who knows. The timing is interesting but we don't know for sure whether it was intentional or a coincidence so I'm not gonna go there.
Im sorry you had to subject yourself to this for our intertainment.
Had to give this a listen in curiosity, this is by far the worst thing I have ever heard.
I kept saying is this for real….absolutely horrendous
Bruh
If I wanna promote my music I just write my influences and then you can decide if you like it or not xD
Wow. I listened to this album and it’s beyond terrible. This album could arguably be called the worst album ever made from any genre.
I think we found the new Psychosinner.
no one will ever be able to fill the void left by Psycho Synner but props to Dungeon Wolf for trying.
Dude I just checked out ONE. ONE. Song. Can't be that bad right? WRONG. I should of listened...
I literally plan on never listening to this album but everything you are saying leads me to believe they are a joke parody band made up of incompetent method actors who while they never break character which is maybe worth admiring . But what they are commiting to is a terribble role in a incompetent film with no script.
My god I went to listen to the song eat my ass ad it starts with "women so hungry she needs a grown mans' ass" 🤣🤣🤣
Think I might give this one a miss thanks bud
I think that might be a good idea
I listened to about a minute and a half of the first song and turned it off after that, it's that bad.
DW be trolling you!
I gave this band a try after watching your Most Hated Bands Of All Time video... and I'm blown away by how dreadful they sound!!🤣🤣🤣
Sorry you had to torture yourself with a whole album!!🙈🙈🙈
here before they are lol
Am I the serial killer they speak of? 🤔
Well you're username is name of a real life serial killer so maybe
I had to listen to them, just to see if you were overreacting. Listened to the title track.
My demos sound better than that.
The only unity they'll be bringing into the world will be a movement to revoke their recording equipment as a violation of the Geneva Convention.
Its REGARDLESS just regardless.
"Is irregardless a word? Yes. It may not be a word that you like, or a word that you would use in a term paper, but irregardless certainly is a word. It has been in use for well over 200 years, employed by a large number of people across a wide geographic range and with a consistent meaning." - Merriam-Webster
@@themetalmeltdownofficial hey man just being extra protective of you especially don't want to give Dungeon Wolf any ammunition for further nonsense against you.
Thx for your vids.
The tired old cliché that beauty is in the eye of the beholder has never been more clear to me after listening to this review. To each his own, but I really enjoy Dungeon Wolf's catalogue and appreciate the artistry in their work. After two tours overseas, I had been struggling with substance abuse and PTSD. Their song about the heroin overdose was the primary inspiration for me to get into rehab and turn my life around. I'm now focused on being a single dad and giving my three boys a life they never had.
Even if this is a joke, it's very unfunny.
This has to be a troll band though, right? Everything screams satire.
Its definitely possible. Worth noting that they continue to ferociously insist they're 100% serious.