I think this is just a Eurocentric viewpoint. Having high expectations is just a cultural thing that happens to be different from these youtubers and other East Asians who grew up in the US with other Europeans (white people).
Its not possible to change the past, in case that the parents were too strict. But its possible to treat the own children different. We can change the future
Reminds me of the Jennifer Pan story which is about an Asian girl who orchestrated a hire for murder plot to have her pushy parents killed. This story took place in Canada.
league of legends pro doublelifts brother did something similar. my parents personally kept saying "the door is open if you ever want to leave" so I wonder if jennifer was told that? Because she could have just walked away, all of us can just walk away, aint no need for murder
@@Teleios15013 I recall she was temporarily living with some boyfriend? By LAW she is free to go when she's 18 in the USA(I'm assuming same for canada). I know people who's parents called the cops on their kid to kick them out when they didn't want to leave when they were 18 for trespassing property and the parents win that case easily
@@billyburton123the problem is that bf was a massive POS and a drug dealer who Jennifer sought out because her parents couldn’t give her real love. Hell she even lied to her parents about going to college and life only became worse when they found out. Her years living under her parents fucked her up mentally and it’s sad to see. It’s funny, Jennifer Pan will be condemned for orchestrating the death of her abusive parents, but not someone like Gypsy Rose for doing the same, neither directly killed their parents yet there’s a weird double standard in regards to that
My dad is German and my mom is Italian! They were really hard on me too ! Like most of my Asian friends parents , they gave me “freedom” as long as I was good at school and attended university 😅
@@switzjon8405yeah it’s true. It’s why you can make Jeff Bezos money but they will still say you’re a failure because you’re not a doctor. It’s the status attached to the job that is the thing they’re preoccupied. They want to brag to other Asians back home and in Asia being an entrepreneur can be looked down upon unless you’re some kind of industry leader.
This is not an Asian parent thing but an *immigrant* parent thing. Plenty of Asians parents in Asia who are more relaxed in their child rearing practices.
@@billyburton123 there's a bit of a selection bias in play since you say they are transferring from *college.* Obviously, children who are on the track for tertiary education are more likely to have one type of experience (e.g. the stereotypical strict "Asian parenting" upbringing), but there are millions of kids in Asia who don't pursue tertiary education. Korea might be a bit of an exception since nearly 70% of its population has tertiary education, but it's usually less than half for most countries.
@@olivierporte OK, then just compare apples to apples, or Korean vs. American (or whatever) college-bound students. And yeah, South Korea's education is notoriously strict, and there's insane pressure to perform well on college entrance exams (also add mandatory military service to the mix if you're a man). Same situation in Japan (there was a case where a train crashed because the driver didn't want to be 1 minute late), Taiwan, mainland China, and Singapore. Compared to the Gaokao and CSAT, the SAT in the US is kind of a joke. Now I cherish my Asian heritage and all that, but I have to say I'm really fortunate to have grown up in the US and not somewhere like China or Singapore. My parents have often come across as strict many times, but ultimately they mean the best for me, and I can see them improving over several years, which pleases me.
As someone that grew up with extremely strict and toxic Khmer parents If you do not see your parent as a good and respectable role model and they are being extremely strict and controlling It will not end up with good results almost ever
SAME! Khmer parents like mines gotta be more understanding and less controlling. If those kids don't wanna be something that they aren't you shouldn't have to force them. It would be best to understand how they feel in life and to try motivate them on the right path!
@@somkeshav4143 I feel for you in the good way. When they mistreat their own sons they might cause them to run away or just move out when they grow older. Some people like to be independent and left alone sometimes and I understand that too.
thats why i dont care to have kids. i dont want push negative energy i endured as a child to my future child. im 46 years old . also i dont care to have kids anymore . i rather have the freedom i never got growing up as a kid. work and save up and travel and enjoy life. i think having kids going put a strain on my freedom
So what pushes you forward in life if you don't have kids? My uncle's a little older than you and he tells me constantly that not having kids was one of the biggest regrets of his life. I also believe he shared the same sentiments as you as having a kid would make his life unnecessarily harder when it didn't need to be. He saw no positives in having a kid, but now that he is older he feels as if he has nothing to look forward to.
@@ponuni im a white as butter washed chinese guy. i travel alone and eat at restaurants alone. yea sometimes i wish i had a kid but sometimes life passes and it is what it is. my old school chinese parents tell me whos going take care of me at my old age. these days theres no guarantees. my old white co worker and his son havent even talked for over 20 years and live far apart. he says no guarantees in life mate
@@ponuni i look forward to travelling. i travel alone. yea it can be boring but i have places i like to see and explore. my social skills got delayed and i didnt date till i was in my early 30s. i had a gf but it didnt workout and most women i know at my age are single moms/ emotional baggage . better to be single
@@ponuni He is one of those people that never gets tired of entertainment (doesn't matter if the pattern is reused, he finds it entertaining) I'm jealous of that ngl because I get bored easily and I need even newer patterns and details to keep me entertained... I cannot watch the same movie twice if it's not complex enough to get another reading out of it for example
These parents need justification of their past efforts, whether they have been successful or they had some kind of trauma they didn't fully heal from. Basically they see life as a relay race so their children's lives are pretty much an extension of theirs. They live through their children, like their 5th limb so of course they expect full control. Some of these cultures do not regard a new human life as independent so enmeshment is the norm for them. They take their children's failures very personally, like their world has shattered. Another way to look at it is that if the Asian parents are first gen, they perceive themselves as vulnerable. Even being in the middle is unsafe. Only through being the very best can constitute being actually "safe."
Yeah American public schools teach too much bullshit and have failed to help those students find the real knowledge on how to deal with money. It's how so many people hated school in the western world and would rather be interesting by rebelling against this corrupt society.
Asian parents have 1. Limited Social Network: Many parents in the US and Canada have a significantly smaller social circle compared to their native countries, which contributes to a scarcity mindset and drastically limit their perspectives - these transmits to the child, not matter how old they are. 2. Misintepret Confucianism: While filial piety is often emphasized in Confucianism, many parents misunderstand or misapply this Confucianism. True filial piety must be bi-directional (parents to child as well as child to parents), but most Asian parents only adhere to the tradition and dogma that is only one-direction (parents to child only). The child have absolutely no say and obey and adhere 100% to the parent - that is not true filial piety, that is only dogma people have when they misintepret Confucianism. 3. Outdated Mindset: Many parents in Asia continue to hold onto the values and beliefs they had as teenagers, which may not align with the current cultural and societal norms in the US and Canada. 4. Language Barriers: Language barriers hinder parents' access to new child-rearing methods and best practices. Even parents with English proficiency may struggle to fully understand the nuances of Western parenting approaches and perspectives. Case in point, they won't understand most videos in your channel unless you translate everything into their native language. Even then, many things are lost in translations. So their values and beliefs are stuck at those they had as teenagers in Asia with little renewal and adaptation to Western society and today's world. 5. Cultural Disparity: The values and beliefs held by many Asian parents differ significantly from those prevalent in Western cultures, which can lead to misunderstandings and challenges in parenting. Most Asian parents actually adhere to the Legalist / Authoritarian philosophy as opposed to Confucianism, which is wear strict obedience, unquestioning authority comes from. However these are often packaged and advertised as dogma, traditions and "Confucianism" when they are really not. Because of this, children from Asian families are often forced to be burdened with some or all of the above mentioned limitations Asian parents have.
Tiger parenting in Asian countries really isn't the norm. People in Asia see that and say "that's a very strict family" just like we would here in the US. This topic is about Asian immigrant families, and I think there's a distinction that has to be made. Because in a lot of immigrant enclaves, they're not exactly adhering to the cultural norms of their home country, which has likely changed over the years and decades that family has moved to the US.
It’s none of these reasons except for competition. They want the kid to be number 1 and being number 1 does not equal happiness. It does get you money but not happiness. Where as a good balance parent will raise a kid to have money AND happiness
I haven't finished watching the video yet (and maybe this will be discussed later in the video), but I think a lot of the reasons why parents are so hard on their kids is due to generational trauma. For example, I am Chinese and my parents grew up during the Cultural Revolution (similar circumstances to the Great Depression) and their parents (my grandparents) grew up during WWII. Even though I am a 1st generation American immigrant, I still carry their traumas with me psychologically (due to how I was raised). Most older Chinese people were raised in abject poverty and difficult circumstances.
sad since you could have a child that has a disability . then what? i know of a friend who has a disability but was ok in highschool days. she takes depression meds
This mindset only worked as long as the pyramid scheme of more young people kept up. But this inverted and threatens to collapse due to automation making kids an expensive multi-decade money sink. Ironically “socialist” modern China doesn’t make up for this with its pittance of a pension after forced earlier than usual retirement age.
My Immigrant parents were not Chinese Tiger parents when I was growing up Manhattan Chinatown in the 60's, and now I'm an American parent I also was not a Tiger pop to my American daughter. I can't parent my American daughter like the ways my Chinese parents raised me because that world no longer exist. There are certain Chinese cultures and traditions I feel it's bullshit, because I refuse to have my American daughter buy into this misogynistic Confucianism bullshit. And no, my daughter and I are not bananas or Twinkies, we speak Canto and do things Chinese, unlike Amy Chua.
I grew up with Asian parents but both remarried outside their culture which made growing up really interesting/confusing and still does sometimes. My mother was a huge tiger mom and disowned me for a while because I wanted to study art despite being enrolled in extra curricular art classes and taking AP Art in high school. Later on after remarrying, she would call me everyday when I was working in luxury retail/e-commerce, asking me if I had quit yet, and then slowly softened after seeing my stepfather's parenting (he's German). My father was quite relaxed until recently, his parenting style is contradictory all the time as he moved to the States in his teens, and likes individualism but was brought up in China as a kid. He will often tell me to pursue what makes me happy but then spends his other half of the time comparing me to all the white people in my family saying how they are better than me and earn more than me. He almost seems to have internalised racism, favouring the white people in our family over us, even though my sister earns significantly more than them. He never speaks highly of his own children and refuses to, but speaks highly of his stepchildren. I've been told that I should never be proud of myself because there will always be someone more successful than me. 😅 Any way, I'm a fashion designer who doesn't earn as much as others in my family, and I have just accepted it and limited my contact as all I hear about is how much money I make everytime I return home. I'm married and live in another country happily.
Confucianism may be associated with ancient aristocratic or high society Asian culture..The Chinese word equivalent of Confucianism is Ruism, which means something like "refined man" was an ethics system developed by Chinese philosopher Kong Qiu.. Probably why this doesn't apply to everyone of Asian descent.
Both my parents are Korean yet they were NOT strict at all with me growing up. They are much more strict with my kids (their grandkids). People find this ironic especially with my dad having been in a military for decades. He was a very filial man himself but never enforced his ideals on us.
If I am being pushed then you NEED to tell me why I am doing what I am doing. Saying "BECAUSE I SAID SO" or "Its for your own good" is highly demotivating. I don't know if I never had drive or ambition to begin with or I was so demoralized from being called a failure all the time that I just stopped giving a ish. I got married, I have a decent job nothing great, I live in my own place and I make ends meet. I should have enough saved for a decent retirement. No children though not because I didn't want any just wasn't in the cards. My parents to this day still think I am a failure. I don't resent my parents despite it all there is no point in holding hate or resentment now.
There are some people out there who literally don't think their methods are abusive or cruel. Often times they'll claim it's just "discipline", or claim "they just want what's best for you", or "they're only doing that because they love you", etc. As if the parent status automatically makes you immune to all accountability and obligates the offspring to unconditionally thank and respect them without question. It's absolutely wild how ANYONE would ever defend these monsters and normalize their awful methods.
All the parents in the Chinese church I know except two were Electrical engineers and their kids were Managers and the other one, my peers were Software Engineers except for two again.
Even Biracial white/Asian parents can be extremely strict with their children. I knew this guy who had this dynamic. He was so stressed in high school to excel to get into this great college, but by the time he got there he was burnt out to the point that he got an academic suspension for his freshman year. It didn't end there: he became extrastranged form his parents and gave up on school.
I have a 4.00 in community college Computer Science which has a ton of work (completed the hardest math classes), which I couldn't accomplish when I pursued Economics in CC and at UCSD where I obtained a BA. I was laid off from my finance job last year and thought of doing CS and IT because of fear that AI replace alot of industries. I just got promoted in the Marine Corps reserves 2 months ago to E-4 faster than most people. I'm not even halfway through my 6 year enlistment, yet some Marines are still E-3 even when they've been there 5-6 years. I joined the Marines older than most because it was always my dream to serve and felt it would improve and challenge me in many aspects of my life life, which it did tremendously. Yet my Dad raged at me a month ago and says "your 4.00 doesn't mean shit. You're a loser who doesn't have a fucking decent paying job. Your Marine Corps doesn't mean shit. You're just a community service worker with a gun. So fuck off"...He has his own hedge fund and his secretary from HKU (the most reliable person) and even some of his employees from Ivy League and Oxford/Cambridge quit. Some even cried in front of him. A palm reader I visited in Yau Ma Tei Temple St said "Your dad will get angry even if you do things right." Sadly and weirdly she was spot on. I literally do not know wtf I'm suppose to do when everyday I'm toiling mentally for hours in the library/class room and physically lifting/kickboxing/grappling/running and sacrificing my social life to be above average and viable.
That's awesome!! My dad after his BA he did OCS in the Marine Corps and got his commission in the late 90s. He had a pretty good career in logistics. That led him to have executive level jobs after he got out the military.
My Chinese American parents were hard on their children in the 1960s because life for working class Chinese American Families was difficult and dangerous because we faced frequent anti Chinese racism until about 1990. (3) My 3G-ABC parents were poor and thinking they had to prepare for their individual retirement because they could not trust that they could depend on their children in their retirement. My father avoided churches until he was about to die. My mother was a loyal church goer. They got divorce because my mom could not deal with my dad's episodic emotional outbursts. My dad would get physically violent during these emotional outburst. Being poor and uneducated my parents could not support me all the time. So much of my growing up was trying to see if I could figure out things on my own, since my parents would bail out on me. My parents did not live their life through their son (me) but they were happier with their daughters. My mom felt the need to protect her daughters and my good looking elder sister took most of her savings. Luckily my younger sister was smart got a scholarship didn't need my mom's help. I had too many problems growing up so I got labeled as a failure - so I slowly worked my way through college, while my sisters had a more successful life growing up. for most of her life my mom thought i was defective but was hoping a college education would make me a better person and that i should focus on being a better person than trying to make money. In college the most important thing I learned was how to learn. My younger sister suggested that I needed additional social skills that successful white American males had. I didn't grow up to be rich or super smart - but before she died my mom said she was happy with how I turned out. My parents didn't get any formal education on being parents AND my grandparents (2G ABC) were flawed uneducated, and poor too. The children often inherit the disadvantages of their parents. It is a legacy thingy. In the end, nobody wanted to take care of my dad because of his bad temper so he ended up in an assisted living facility on the day he died. My mom remarried hoping her 2nd husband from her church would take care of her (instead of her children), but her 2nd husband ended up being a gold digger who stressed her out so badly she got cancer and died from all the added stress. Church is for sinners and my stepdad was one. She chose poorly. My biological dad died from smoking... about 3 years sooner than his smoking dad did ... Since my smoking grand dad did not get lung cancer, my smoking dad was sure he would not get lung cancer either. Instead, my smoking dad died of smoking induced emphysema.
Why I always have this sad feeling toward people of color in America. We had to fight for everything, including education. I am still mad and depressed after the overturning of Affirmative Action, by Invaders and Operatives from Asia.
Filial piety is a real thing. Literally every decision an Asian kid makes is supposed to serve the wishes of the parents and honor the family name. You're taught to never question authority and to save face by doing what serves your personal reputation, even if it comes at the cost of your own happiness or fulfillment. There's also a fine line between instilling good values vs parents who behave like tyrants. You can raise your kids properly without necessarily causing them to resent you once they become adults. While it's true that Asian curricula is way more rigorous overseas than it is in the West, first-gen immigrant parents can still impose the same level of strictness despite the Western education system being more lax. You gotta remember: just because they left Asia doesn't mean their values left with them. Regarding the trauma response thing: it's because Asian parents always assume the worst possible outcome to any given endeavor. This is why they're so hellbent on their kids adhering to a traditional path, because they know it offers the greatest long-term stability. It's a probability game of maximizing the odds of attaining success, and the high-paying corporate 9-5 is what's perceived as tried and true. I would say both the refugee and highly-educated archetypes share the same parenting style. It's usually people who grew up in poverty or dire circumstances that cherish the opportunities that we take for granted in the West. Complacency is completely antithetical to how traditional Asian parents operate. Also, someone's intrinsic worth as a human being can't be measured by their status or how much money they have, but Asian parents do boil it down to that level. I'm not sure whether it's external pressure or whether it's a parent's desire to live vicariously through their child. A lot of parents who weren't able to capitalize on their dreams may want to see their dreams manifest through their children. It's like a subconscious way for them to redeem themselves. It's funny that you brought up the connection between religion and materialism because secularist countries tend to be the most materialistic in the absence of faith. We either worship God or we worship the almighty dollar. Those seem to be the only two options. David is trying to be funny, but I bet if you asked a lot of Asian parents if they'd be content with their sons having zero libido, most of them would say "yes" because they think dating acts as a distraction to their studies. The intention that tiger parents impose is well-meaning for the most part. It's just the delivery system that's too overbearing. There are better ways of steering a child on the right path without making it feel like a master-slave dynamic. Andrew, the problem with encouraging a kid to become a real estate agent is that there's no cachet attached to that profession. Even if they end up in a lucrative place financially, the barrier to entry is so low that it's still perceived as low status. If the job doesn't require you to have a bunch of fancy acronyms next to your name, it's not good enough (in their eyes). I don't think Asian parents poke their kids' behinds with carrots. This is only something that freaky women do if they happen to lack access to their toy collection.
I feel like you need to have a balance. You can't be too strict that you become abusive, but you also can't be so permissive that your kids are stuck in an extended adolescence when they are older.
It’s not that our parents were tough, but they were more often than not, being tough for the wrong things. All successful children have tough parents, regardless of culture. I would rather discipline my kids than have life does them
If your parents went from middle class in their country of origin to working class in the west, they don’t want their kids going through poverty in the west.
Are there any statistics on children of Asian immigrants and alcoholism? Cuz if I had parents like that, the insides of my body will be way more toxic than my relationship with them.
Because most Asian parents don't live in 1st world country. Welfare is a foreign concept. Fairness and decent pay are new things. Asian parents know that life is hard and train children hard to withstand the world.
As an Asian, I oppose 愚孝. I think most parents don't see the possibilities of life. That's why the expectations for their kids are similar to other parents so they are raising kids to act the same way.
It's a matter of Conditional vs Unconditional love. Thankfully, my Asian parents are the latter and I find myself more and more thankful for them the older I get.
The notion of a 'tiger parent' is a way to excuse abhorrent treatment of individuals that they have power over. They'll whine that they're being blamed for having high expectations but no one's saying anything bad about high expectations. It's the verbal and physical abuse, the bullying, the manipulation, the use of us as social props that we can't forgive that they are so quick to claim as necessary methods to communicate their expectations. What we realize as adults is that it was just a socially acceptable way to use children as a stress ball. Narcissism likes to find ways to normalize itself into culture, happens in the west too just in different ways.
It’s probably mostly the oversea Asians who are hard on us. We are the minorities and probably generally not accepted unless we excel pass the average. My opinion of course.
Every Asian person normally has some self-respect towards others and sets higher standards, besides just being obedient and preserving its culture and tradition. However, in the US, due to freedom of speech and thought, younger parents have now adopted the Western world practices. They tend to express more of their own feelings and are open to seeking out to other peers for social networking, believes, behaviors, etc. However, they tend to lose some good manner and morals as time goes by. Hopefully, Western social media these days will not negatively influence the younger generations. There are pros and cons. Mental health can be a huge factor living in a strict Asian family home. Some of the older parents or new immigrants are having harder time trying to adopt this new era and a lot of children are having hard time trying to balance and fit in both worlds.
It’s because asian parents expect you to be perfect and expect you to do everything right and not average or below average and they always want you to be a doctor and lawyer a dentist and engineer but in my opinion you could be anything if you put your mindset and hard work and determination and everything you do in life
I think this is just a Eurocentric viewpoint. Having high expectations is just a cultural thing in some countries in East Asia that happens to be different from the experiences "suffered" by these youtubers and other East Asians who grew up in the US with other Europeans (white people).
Yea so western centric. I’m raised by strict parents but I’m glad they did because they worked hard for me. Some Asians just need to learn to appreciate more and stop thinking with western point of view.
The only Asians that were able to leave their countries and immigrate to the united states before 2000 are the ones that focused on career and being the best. The ones who more relaxed and balanced/ relaxed couldn't compete and were forced to stay in their respective countries.
@leisiyox you have to "try hard" to make it out. Go visit India, there are plenty of parents who are not hard at all on their kids. I've seen it first hand
There's actually a socio-political reason why filial piety is stressed in Confucian cultures. According to Confucian political philosophy, the family is the micromodel of the state. When a son practices filial piety, he is exercising the same loyalty and duty towards his parents in a manner akin to a minister towards the Emperor or a soldier to the general. The idea is that from practicing filial piety, you level-up and learn other virtues such as zhong 忠 and shu 恕 (which roughly translates to loyalty and mercy). Furthermore, those who understand the basics of Confucian ethics will demonstrate sangang wucang 三綱五常 (Three Fundamental Bonds and Five Constant Virtues) and maintain social harmony (positive social dynamics within a functional society). The sangang 三綱 (three bonds) are between father and son, lord and minister, and husband and wife. The wucang 五常 (five virtues) are ren 仁 (benevolence), yi 義 (righteousness), li 禮 (propriety), zhi 智 (wisdom), and xin 信 (trustworthiness). Problem with translating these Chinese philosophical concepts to English is that they encompass more than what that one English word entails.
All that is very beautiful culturally that Asian parents are like that but everything is fine until you talk to a Puerto Rican and ask him why Puerto Rico’s parents are stricter than Asians.
As with most things, good things taken too far can become toxic. But isn’t it more likely that some of the success that Americans with Asian background have done relatively well is the emphasis placed on academics? Could it be that the care and attention given by the parents for doing well in school is part of this success? Sure, this can become toxic but let’s not throw it all away. Seriously, can we say that public school is enough to train all children? Isn’t it more likely that there will be gaps since public school is teaching to the broad middle? I think it’s very important to find that balance to have a child grow up to be well rounded in academic, athletic, and social skills. It serves no one’s interest to raise a child that is miserable and stressed out. But it also serves no one’s interest to raise a child that is illiterate, lazy, and friendless. So there is a middle ground somewhere in between.
You guys would have fun in a black household. Almost zero academic pressure. Wanna hang out in the streets, play video games all day, watch a ton of TV and get horrible grades? No problem.
it should be... "Why are non-ASIAN parents so EASY on their kids?" I don't know why us Asians keep standardizing our cultures to non-Asian? Just by flipping the standard around, the mindset automatically changes.
The reason why they are hard on us is because they want a better life for us and most asian immigrants are poor and had to work really hard to get to where they are at.
Another good question. Tbh I've said it before I'm only HALF Chinese and my father never whooped me or pushed hard, he just wanted the best for me. My black mom? Whooped me and pushed me because how she grew up. Hey least they meant well 😂
My father was a strict German. His daily greeting was "What work did you do today to justify your existence?" He expected that any grade below A was a failure.
Why are Asian parents, while pushing for high academics and big corporate jobs in America , but not setting tall goals for American marriage, like marrying a white girl?
East Asia is very competitive. If you don't do well in school, you won't do well in life. This is not the case in the West.
asia = academics
west = social
You wont be well in the west with no social circle or social life even if you have the greatest academic achievements
I think this is just a Eurocentric viewpoint. Having high expectations is just a cultural thing that happens to be different from these youtubers and other East Asians who grew up in the US with other Europeans (white people).
@@quincy189the west is great. All you gotta do is focus on going out and chatting to ppl and having fun and making friends
Western and Asian failed what it means to be a human being.
That is SO true!
Its not possible to change the past, in case that the parents were too strict. But its possible to treat the own children different. We can change the future
Reminds me of the Jennifer Pan story which is about an Asian girl who orchestrated a hire for murder plot to have her pushy parents killed. This story took place in Canada.
league of legends pro doublelifts brother did something similar. my parents personally kept saying "the door is open if you ever want to leave" so I wonder if jennifer was told that? Because she could have just walked away, all of us can just walk away, aint no need for murder
@@billyburton123I really doubt she could just leave. And if she could she had no where to go. She was trapped
@@Teleios15013 I recall she was temporarily living with some boyfriend? By LAW she is free to go when she's 18 in the USA(I'm assuming same for canada). I know people who's parents called the cops on their kid to kick them out when they didn't want to leave when they were 18 for trespassing property and the parents win that case easily
@@billyburton123the problem is that bf was a massive POS and a drug dealer who Jennifer sought out because her parents couldn’t give her real love. Hell she even lied to her parents about going to college and life only became worse when they found out.
Her years living under her parents fucked her up mentally and it’s sad to see.
It’s funny, Jennifer Pan will be condemned for orchestrating the death of her abusive parents, but not someone like Gypsy Rose for doing the same, neither directly killed their parents yet there’s a weird double standard in regards to that
Being tiger parents can back fire 🔥
My dad is German and my mom is Italian! They were really hard on me too ! Like most of my Asian friends parents , they gave me “freedom” as long as I was good at school and attended university 😅
because they live through thier kids. You’re more of a bragging right and trophy to them. Not all Asian parents but the stereotypical ones
That's sad if that's true.
@@switzjon8405yeah it’s true. It’s why you can make Jeff Bezos money but they will still say you’re a failure because you’re not a doctor. It’s the status attached to the job that is the thing they’re preoccupied. They want to brag to other Asians back home and in Asia being an entrepreneur can be looked down upon unless you’re some kind of industry leader.
This is not an Asian parent thing but an *immigrant* parent thing. Plenty of Asians parents in Asia who are more relaxed in their child rearing practices.
nah, I hear the opposite from most of korean foreign students who transferred to college here
@@billyburton123 there's a bit of a selection bias in play since you say they are transferring from *college.* Obviously, children who are on the track for tertiary education are more likely to have one type of experience (e.g. the stereotypical strict "Asian parenting" upbringing), but there are millions of kids in Asia who don't pursue tertiary education. Korea might be a bit of an exception since nearly 70% of its population has tertiary education, but it's usually less than half for most countries.
not if you live in east asia
@@olivierporte OK, then just compare apples to apples, or Korean vs. American (or whatever) college-bound students.
And yeah, South Korea's education is notoriously strict, and there's insane pressure to perform well on college entrance exams (also add mandatory military service to the mix if you're a man). Same situation in Japan (there was a case where a train crashed because the driver didn't want to be 1 minute late), Taiwan, mainland China, and Singapore. Compared to the Gaokao and CSAT, the SAT in the US is kind of a joke.
Now I cherish my Asian heritage and all that, but I have to say I'm really fortunate to have grown up in the US and not somewhere like China or Singapore. My parents have often come across as strict many times, but ultimately they mean the best for me, and I can see them improving over several years, which pleases me.
I grew up in China. What you said is not true.
It is a competition as who is the best parent and who has the best genes. They don't want to lose face!
As someone that grew up with extremely strict and toxic Khmer parents
If you do not see your parent as a good and respectable role model and they are being extremely strict and controlling
It will not end up with good results almost ever
SAME! Khmer parents like mines gotta be more understanding and less controlling. If those kids don't wanna be something that they aren't you shouldn't have to force them. It would be best to understand how they feel in life and to try motivate them on the right path!
@@JunSouljahthis advice doesn’t fit well into the psyche of Indian parents like mine or my family in general, but boy do they need it fr
@@somkeshav4143 I feel for you in the good way. When they mistreat their own sons they might cause them to run away or just move out when they grow older. Some people like to be independent and left alone sometimes and I understand that too.
thats why i dont care to have kids. i dont want push negative energy i endured as a child to my future child. im 46 years old . also i dont care to have kids anymore . i rather have the freedom i never got growing up as a kid. work and save up and travel and enjoy life. i think having kids going put a strain on my freedom
So what pushes you forward in life if you don't have kids? My uncle's a little older than you and he tells me constantly that not having kids was one of the biggest regrets of his life. I also believe he shared the same sentiments as you as having a kid would make his life unnecessarily harder when it didn't need to be. He saw no positives in having a kid, but now that he is older he feels as if he has nothing to look forward to.
@@ponuni im a white as butter washed chinese guy. i travel alone and eat at restaurants alone. yea sometimes i wish i had a kid but sometimes life passes and it is what it is. my old school chinese parents tell me whos going take care of me at my old age. these days theres no guarantees. my old white co worker and his son havent even talked for over 20 years and live far apart. he says no guarantees in life mate
@@ponuni i look forward to travelling. i travel alone. yea it can be boring but i have places i like to see and explore. my social skills got delayed and i didnt date till i was in my early 30s. i had a gf but it didnt workout and most women i know at my age are single moms/ emotional baggage . better to be single
Good for you! At least you know what you want, and aren’t ashamed to say it! Go do what makes you happy because this life is short!
@@ponuni He is one of those people that never gets tired of entertainment (doesn't matter if the pattern is reused, he finds it entertaining)
I'm jealous of that ngl because I get bored easily and I need even newer patterns and details to keep me entertained... I cannot watch the same movie twice if it's not complex enough to get another reading out of it for example
These parents need justification of their past efforts, whether they have been successful or they had some kind of trauma they didn't fully heal from. Basically they see life as a relay race so their children's lives are pretty much an extension of theirs. They live through their children, like their 5th limb so of course they expect full control. Some of these cultures do not regard a new human life as independent so enmeshment is the norm for them. They take their children's failures very personally, like their world has shattered. Another way to look at it is that if the Asian parents are first gen, they perceive themselves as vulnerable. Even being in the middle is unsafe. Only through being the very best can constitute being actually "safe."
I really am thinking it is boomers and the generation after them that are the ones responsible for causing the strict Tiger parent stereotype.
social skill is important like those real estate agents make a lot more money even without good grades in school or into academic
Yeah American public schools teach too much bullshit and have failed to help those students find the real knowledge on how to deal with money. It's how so many people hated school in the western world and would rather be interesting by rebelling against this corrupt society.
Asian parents have
1. Limited Social Network: Many parents in the US and Canada have a significantly smaller social circle compared to their native countries, which contributes to a scarcity mindset and drastically limit their perspectives - these transmits to the child, not matter how old they are.
2. Misintepret Confucianism: While filial piety is often emphasized in Confucianism, many parents misunderstand or misapply this Confucianism. True filial piety must be bi-directional (parents to child as well as child to parents), but most Asian parents only adhere to the tradition and dogma that is only one-direction (parents to child only). The child have absolutely no say and obey and adhere 100% to the parent - that is not true filial piety, that is only dogma people have when they misintepret Confucianism.
3. Outdated Mindset: Many parents in Asia continue to hold onto the values and beliefs they had as teenagers, which may not align with the current cultural and societal norms in the US and Canada.
4. Language Barriers: Language barriers hinder parents' access to new child-rearing methods and best practices. Even parents with English proficiency may struggle to fully understand the nuances of Western parenting approaches and perspectives. Case in point, they won't understand most videos in your channel unless you translate everything into their native language. Even then, many things are lost in translations. So their values and beliefs are stuck at those they had as teenagers in Asia with little renewal and adaptation to Western society and today's world.
5. Cultural Disparity: The values and beliefs held by many Asian parents differ significantly from those prevalent in Western cultures, which can lead to misunderstandings and challenges in parenting.
Most Asian parents actually adhere to the Legalist / Authoritarian philosophy as opposed to Confucianism, which is wear strict obedience, unquestioning authority comes from.
However these are often packaged and advertised as dogma, traditions and "Confucianism" when they are really not.
Because of this, children from Asian families are often forced to be burdened with some or all of the above mentioned limitations Asian parents have.
Asian countries need to overhaul their education and pension systems to remove tiger parenting culture.
Tiger parenting in Asian countries really isn't the norm. People in Asia see that and say "that's a very strict family" just like we would here in the US. This topic is about Asian immigrant families, and I think there's a distinction that has to be made. Because in a lot of immigrant enclaves, they're not exactly adhering to the cultural norms of their home country, which has likely changed over the years and decades that family has moved to the US.
It’s none of these reasons except for competition. They want the kid to be number 1 and being number 1 does not equal happiness. It does get you money but not happiness. Where as a good balance parent will raise a kid to have money AND happiness
I haven't finished watching the video yet (and maybe this will be discussed later in the video), but I think a lot of the reasons why parents are so hard on their kids is due to generational trauma.
For example, I am Chinese and my parents grew up during the Cultural Revolution (similar circumstances to the Great Depression) and their parents (my grandparents) grew up during WWII.
Even though I am a 1st generation American immigrant, I still carry their traumas with me psychologically (due to how I was raised). Most older Chinese people were raised in abject poverty and difficult circumstances.
Poking a kid in the butt with a carrot was not in my bingo card of asian parenting, but hey, you've heard it here first, guys ^^.
😂😂😂 pretty sure that’s sexual assault wtf
Chinese parents view their children as investments. It's so sad
sad since you could have a child that has a disability . then what? i know of a friend who has a disability but was ok in highschool days. she takes depression meds
This mindset only worked as long as the pyramid scheme of more young people kept up. But this inverted and threatens to collapse due to automation making kids an expensive multi-decade money sink. Ironically “socialist” modern China doesn’t make up for this with its pittance of a pension after forced earlier than usual retirement age.
My Immigrant parents were not Chinese Tiger parents when I was growing up Manhattan Chinatown in the 60's, and now I'm an American parent I also was not a Tiger pop to my American daughter. I can't parent my American daughter like the ways my Chinese parents raised me because that world no longer exist.
There are certain Chinese cultures and traditions I feel it's bullshit, because I refuse to have my American daughter buy into this misogynistic Confucianism bullshit. And no, my daughter and I are not bananas or Twinkies, we speak Canto and do things Chinese, unlike Amy Chua.
I grew up with Asian parents but both remarried outside their culture which made growing up really interesting/confusing and still does sometimes. My mother was a huge tiger mom and disowned me for a while because I wanted to study art despite being enrolled in extra curricular art classes and taking AP Art in high school. Later on after remarrying, she would call me everyday when I was working in luxury retail/e-commerce, asking me if I had quit yet, and then slowly softened after seeing my stepfather's parenting (he's German). My father was quite relaxed until recently, his parenting style is contradictory all the time as he moved to the States in his teens, and likes individualism but was brought up in China as a kid. He will often tell me to pursue what makes me happy but then spends his other half of the time comparing me to all the white people in my family saying how they are better than me and earn more than me. He almost seems to have internalised racism, favouring the white people in our family over us, even though my sister earns significantly more than them. He never speaks highly of his own children and refuses to, but speaks highly of his stepchildren. I've been told that I should never be proud of myself because there will always be someone more successful than me. 😅 Any way, I'm a fashion designer who doesn't earn as much as others in my family, and I have just accepted it and limited my contact as all I hear about is how much money I make everytime I return home. I'm married and live in another country happily.
Confucianism may be associated with ancient aristocratic or high society Asian culture..The Chinese word equivalent of Confucianism is Ruism, which means something like "refined man" was an ethics system developed by Chinese philosopher Kong Qiu.. Probably why this doesn't apply to everyone of Asian descent.
Thanks for such a terrific discussion about this phenomenon!
Both my parents are Korean yet they were NOT strict at all with me growing up. They are much more strict with my kids (their grandkids). People find this ironic especially with my dad having been in a military for decades. He was a very filial man himself but never enforced his ideals on us.
My father only said he loves me once in my life when I said I wanted to become an Aeronautical engineer.
If I am being pushed then you NEED to tell me why I am doing what I am doing. Saying "BECAUSE I SAID SO" or "Its for your own good" is highly demotivating. I don't know if I never had drive or ambition to begin with or I was so demoralized from being called a failure all the time that I just stopped giving a ish.
I got married, I have a decent job nothing great, I live in my own place and I make ends meet. I should have enough saved for a decent retirement. No children though not because I didn't want any just wasn't in the cards.
My parents to this day still think I am a failure. I don't resent my parents despite it all there is no point in holding hate or resentment now.
There are some people out there who literally don't think their methods are abusive or cruel. Often times they'll claim it's just "discipline", or claim "they just want what's best for you", or "they're only doing that because they love you", etc. As if the parent status automatically makes you immune to all accountability and obligates the offspring to unconditionally thank and respect them without question.
It's absolutely wild how ANYONE would ever defend these monsters and normalize their awful methods.
1:44 The Shoe game is on point in the background.
All the parents in the Chinese church I know except two were Electrical engineers and their kids were Managers and the other one, my peers were Software Engineers except for two again.
Even Biracial white/Asian parents can be extremely strict with their children. I knew this guy who had this dynamic. He was so stressed in high school to excel to get into this great college, but by the time he got there he was burnt out to the point that he got an academic suspension for his freshman year. It didn't end there: he became extrastranged form his parents and gave up on school.
extrastranged ?
@@quincy189estranged
I have a 4.00 in community college Computer Science which has a ton of work (completed the hardest math classes), which I couldn't accomplish when I pursued Economics in CC and at UCSD where I obtained a BA. I was laid off from my finance job last year and thought of doing CS and IT because of fear that AI replace alot of industries. I just got promoted in the Marine Corps reserves 2 months ago to E-4 faster than most people. I'm not even halfway through my 6 year enlistment, yet some Marines are still E-3 even when they've been there 5-6 years. I joined the Marines older than most because it was always my dream to serve and felt it would improve and challenge me in many aspects of my life life, which it did tremendously. Yet my Dad raged at me a month ago and says "your 4.00 doesn't mean shit. You're a loser who doesn't have a fucking decent paying job. Your Marine Corps doesn't mean shit. You're just a community service worker with a gun. So fuck off"...He has his own hedge fund and his secretary from HKU (the most reliable person) and even some of his employees from Ivy League and Oxford/Cambridge quit. Some even cried in front of him. A palm reader I visited in Yau Ma Tei Temple St said "Your dad will get angry even if you do things right." Sadly and weirdly she was spot on. I literally do not know wtf I'm suppose to do when everyday I'm toiling mentally for hours in the library/class room and physically lifting/kickboxing/grappling/running and sacrificing my social life to be above average and viable.
That's awesome!! My dad after his BA he did OCS in the Marine Corps and got his commission in the late 90s. He had a pretty good career in logistics. That led him to have executive level jobs after he got out the military.
My Chinese American parents were hard on their children in the 1960s because life for working class Chinese American Families was difficult and dangerous because we faced frequent anti Chinese racism until about 1990. (3) My 3G-ABC parents were poor and thinking they had to prepare for their individual retirement because they could not trust that they could depend on their children in their retirement. My father avoided churches until he was about to die. My mother was a loyal church goer. They got divorce because my mom could not deal with my dad's episodic emotional outbursts. My dad would get physically violent during these emotional outburst. Being poor and uneducated my parents could not support me all the time. So much of my growing up was trying to see if I could figure out things on my own, since my parents would bail out on me. My parents did not live their life through their son (me) but they were happier with their daughters. My mom felt the need to protect her daughters and my good looking elder sister took most of her savings. Luckily my younger sister was smart got a scholarship didn't need my mom's help. I had too many problems growing up so I got labeled as a failure - so I slowly worked my way through college, while my sisters had a more successful life growing up. for most of her life my mom thought i was defective but was hoping a college education would make me a better person and that i should focus on being a better person than trying to make money. In college the most important thing I learned was how to learn. My younger sister suggested that I needed additional social skills that successful white American males had. I didn't grow up to be rich or super smart - but before she died my mom said she was happy with how I turned out. My parents didn't get any formal education on being parents AND my grandparents (2G ABC) were flawed uneducated, and poor too. The children often inherit the disadvantages of their parents. It is a legacy thingy. In the end, nobody wanted to take care of my dad because of his bad temper so he ended up in an assisted living facility on the day he died. My mom remarried hoping her 2nd husband from her church would take care of her (instead of her children), but her 2nd husband ended up being a gold digger who stressed her out so badly she got cancer and died from all the added stress. Church is for sinners and my stepdad was one. She chose poorly. My biological dad died from smoking... about 3 years sooner than his smoking dad did ... Since my smoking grand dad did not get lung cancer, my smoking dad was sure he would not get lung cancer either. Instead, my smoking dad died of smoking induced emphysema.
Why I always have this sad feeling toward people of color in America. We had to fight for everything, including education. I am still mad and depressed after the overturning of Affirmative Action, by Invaders and Operatives from Asia.
tl;dr
Filial piety is a real thing. Literally every decision an Asian kid makes is supposed to serve the wishes of the parents and honor the family name. You're taught to never question authority and to save face by doing what serves your personal reputation, even if it comes at the cost of your own happiness or fulfillment. There's also a fine line between instilling good values vs parents who behave like tyrants. You can raise your kids properly without necessarily causing them to resent you once they become adults.
While it's true that Asian curricula is way more rigorous overseas than it is in the West, first-gen immigrant parents can still impose the same level of strictness despite the Western education system being more lax. You gotta remember: just because they left Asia doesn't mean their values left with them.
Regarding the trauma response thing: it's because Asian parents always assume the worst possible outcome to any given endeavor. This is why they're so hellbent on their kids adhering to a traditional path, because they know it offers the greatest long-term stability. It's a probability game of maximizing the odds of attaining success, and the high-paying corporate 9-5 is what's perceived as tried and true.
I would say both the refugee and highly-educated archetypes share the same parenting style. It's usually people who grew up in poverty or dire circumstances that cherish the opportunities that we take for granted in the West. Complacency is completely antithetical to how traditional Asian parents operate. Also, someone's intrinsic worth as a human being can't be measured by their status or how much money they have, but Asian parents do boil it down to that level.
I'm not sure whether it's external pressure or whether it's a parent's desire to live vicariously through their child. A lot of parents who weren't able to capitalize on their dreams may want to see their dreams manifest through their children. It's like a subconscious way for them to redeem themselves.
It's funny that you brought up the connection between religion and materialism because secularist countries tend to be the most materialistic in the absence of faith. We either worship God or we worship the almighty dollar. Those seem to be the only two options.
David is trying to be funny, but I bet if you asked a lot of Asian parents if they'd be content with their sons having zero libido, most of them would say "yes" because they think dating acts as a distraction to their studies.
The intention that tiger parents impose is well-meaning for the most part. It's just the delivery system that's too overbearing. There are better ways of steering a child on the right path without making it feel like a master-slave dynamic.
Andrew, the problem with encouraging a kid to become a real estate agent is that there's no cachet attached to that profession. Even if they end up in a lucrative place financially, the barrier to entry is so low that it's still perceived as low status. If the job doesn't require you to have a bunch of fancy acronyms next to your name, it's not good enough (in their eyes).
I don't think Asian parents poke their kids' behinds with carrots. This is only something that freaky women do if they happen to lack access to their toy collection.
I feel like you need to have a balance. You can't be too strict that you become abusive, but you also can't be so permissive that your kids are stuck in an extended adolescence when they are older.
They know the hardships and what’s valuable in life.
lol yep they are sheeps
Can’t think for themselves
It’s not that our parents were tough, but they were more often than not, being tough for the wrong things.
All successful children have tough parents, regardless of culture. I would rather discipline my kids than have life does them
If your parents went from middle class in their country of origin to working class in the west, they don’t want their kids going through poverty in the west.
I could have been a contender with an uncle and auntie like you guys
Are there any statistics on children of Asian immigrants and alcoholism? Cuz if I had parents like that, the insides of my body will be way more toxic than my relationship with them.
Yes it’s pretty high but usually more common in Asian immigrants
If your parents are not good or respectable... It won't end well anyway, regardless of they are strict or not
Because most Asian parents don't live in 1st world country. Welfare is a foreign concept. Fairness and decent pay are new things. Asian parents know that life is hard and train children hard to withstand the world.
I think this only applies to Chinese and not so much to flippno? I don’t know any flippno deep into their studies .
im pretty sure its not you they're referring to, look at how you spell 🙄🤭
The Mexicans of Asia
@@poofum just a lazy f who doesn’t care lol
Didn’t know I was reply to prince of youtube
This applies to confucian cultures.
@@ta0304 that’s why I’m with white gf 😀
As an Asian, I oppose 愚孝. I think most parents don't see the possibilities of life. That's why the expectations for their kids are similar to other parents so they are raising kids to act the same way.
I love this channel. Makes me want to migrate to South Korea
It's a matter of Conditional vs Unconditional love. Thankfully, my Asian parents are the latter and I find myself more and more thankful for them the older I get.
Bobby Lee said he never had that problem. 😂
I don't know what you're talking about. My mom told me to quit university in Canada and go back to Singapore to work. That was 1994.
So much of this in our home. So true…
The notion of a 'tiger parent' is a way to excuse abhorrent treatment of individuals that they have power over. They'll whine that they're being blamed for having high expectations but no one's saying anything bad about high expectations. It's the verbal and physical abuse, the bullying, the manipulation, the use of us as social props that we can't forgive that they are so quick to claim as necessary methods to communicate their expectations. What we realize as adults is that it was just a socially acceptable way to use children as a stress ball. Narcissism likes to find ways to normalize itself into culture, happens in the west too just in different ways.
In ths U.S. The Farmer is the Land Owner.
Nah my parents are cool, as long as I pass my exam I'm good.
I never including my 4 siblings ever been pushed to study hard!
It’s probably mostly the oversea Asians who are hard on us. We are the minorities and probably generally not accepted unless we excel pass the average. My opinion of course.
This is so true with many immigrants in America
Pleases publish a list of your Asian American urban lingo
Every Asian person normally has some self-respect towards others and sets higher standards, besides just being obedient and preserving its culture and tradition.
However, in the US, due to freedom of speech and thought, younger parents have now adopted the Western world practices. They tend to express more of their own feelings and are open to seeking out to other peers for social networking, believes, behaviors, etc. However, they tend to lose some good manner and morals as time goes by. Hopefully, Western social media these days will not negatively influence the younger generations. There are pros and cons.
Mental health can be a huge factor living in a strict Asian family home. Some of the older parents or new immigrants are having harder time trying to adopt this new era and a lot of children are having hard time trying to balance and fit in both worlds.
It’s because asian parents expect you to be perfect and expect you to do everything right and not average or below average and they always want you to be a doctor and lawyer a dentist and engineer but in my opinion you could be anything if you put your mindset and hard work and determination and everything you do in life
Because kids are the property of the parents
I think this is just a Eurocentric viewpoint. Having high expectations is just a cultural thing in some countries in East Asia that happens to be different from the experiences "suffered" by these youtubers and other East Asians who grew up in the US with other Europeans (white people).
Yea so western centric. I’m raised by strict parents but I’m glad they did because they worked hard for me. Some Asians just need to learn to appreciate more and stop thinking with western point of view.
@@quyenluong3705 thank you.
I love East Asian culture
I am so excited about this video already and I haven’t even started watching it yet.
Y’all trippin, yall are heavily privileged lmfao, I get it tho not every race is perfect
Americans call these people nerds or people pleasers and call them weak.
Yes indeed to say but don't give up step up.
3:54 so in other words manors.
Emotional Damage!
Their parents were worse to them. By contrast they think they’re being nice.
They want to show them off, so they can brag about them self !
The only Asians that were able to leave their countries and immigrate to the united states before 2000 are the ones that focused on career and being the best. The ones who more relaxed and balanced/ relaxed couldn't compete and were forced to stay in their respective countries.
Out competed by tryhards I see
@leisiyox you have to "try hard" to make it out. Go visit India, there are plenty of parents who are not hard at all on their kids. I've seen it first hand
Hey, guys! Do a video on tiger mom that has mental health issues.😢
Yeah and it paid off - you live only once so give it all or die with missed opportunities!
Because they are narcissists acting like you owe them something.
There's actually a socio-political reason why filial piety is stressed in Confucian cultures. According to Confucian political philosophy, the family is the micromodel of the state. When a son practices filial piety, he is exercising the same loyalty and duty towards his parents in a manner akin to a minister towards the Emperor or a soldier to the general. The idea is that from practicing filial piety, you level-up and learn other virtues such as zhong 忠 and shu 恕 (which roughly translates to loyalty and mercy). Furthermore, those who understand the basics of Confucian ethics will demonstrate sangang wucang 三綱五常 (Three Fundamental Bonds and Five Constant Virtues) and maintain social harmony (positive social dynamics within a functional society). The sangang 三綱 (three bonds) are between father and son, lord and minister, and husband and wife. The wucang 五常 (five virtues) are ren 仁 (benevolence), yi 義 (righteousness), li 禮 (propriety), zhi 智 (wisdom), and xin 信 (trustworthiness).
Problem with translating these Chinese philosophical concepts to English is that they encompass more than what that one English word entails.
All that is very beautiful culturally that Asian parents are like that but everything is fine until you talk to a Puerto Rican and ask him why Puerto Rico’s parents are stricter than Asians.
Como puertorriqueña, puedo confirmar!
Im not.
I guess they want there blood to have a strong future and have a independent life 😮😊
Watching this and David wearing a green hat had me snickering lol ❤
Confucianism
east asia
Go back to medical school, Andrew. 😌
As with most things, good things taken too far can become toxic. But isn’t it more likely that some of the success that Americans with Asian background have done relatively well is the emphasis placed on academics? Could it be that the care and attention given by the parents for doing well in school is part of this success?
Sure, this can become toxic but let’s not throw it all away. Seriously, can we say that public school is enough to train all children? Isn’t it more likely that there will be gaps since public school is teaching to the broad middle?
I think it’s very important to find that balance to have a child grow up to be well rounded in academic, athletic, and social skills. It serves no one’s interest to raise a child that is miserable and stressed out. But it also serves no one’s interest to raise a child that is illiterate, lazy, and friendless. So there is a middle ground somewhere in between.
Your a failure if you don’t finish college why why I’m so sad 😭 😔 😞
You guys would have fun in a black household. Almost zero academic pressure. Wanna hang out in the streets, play video games all day, watch a ton of TV and get horrible grades? No problem.
LOL
Didn't apply to me. 4th gen asian, my parents were cool.
its more on to prepare us live in the ugly world called life
it should be... "Why are non-ASIAN parents so EASY on their kids?" I don't know why us Asians keep standardizing our cultures to non-Asian? Just by flipping the standard around, the mindset automatically changes.
Good point - when did Western attitudes get so lax on cultural expectations?
Why? It's a parenting thing passed down for generations. Btw it is not a stereotype. It is a fact.
The reason why they are hard on us is because they want a better life for us and most asian immigrants are poor and had to work really hard to get to where they are at.
Another good question. Tbh I've said it before I'm only HALF Chinese and my father never whooped me or pushed hard, he just wanted the best for me. My black mom? Whooped me and pushed me because how she grew up. Hey least they meant well 😂
how old are you?
First
My father was a strict German. His daily greeting was "What work did you do today to justify your existence?" He expected that any grade below A was a failure.
😂 man I love it. I also think this way but try to maintain balance. It can be great way to think especially during difficult times
If the parents are not hard on the kids, the world will be when they grow up.
Parents should provide children with a balance of comfort and challenges
@@seinewong4968 children only want comfort so parents need to be hard on them.
@@leiliang129 balance, not only comfort. You know what does home means for us?
You wanna go home and face the same pressure as your workplace?
@@seinewong4968 we are talking about children. What is the workspace you are talking about?
WMAF- We have two high performing, well rounded, socially aware, Tiger Cubs.
How typical of you!
@@leisiyox very typical
Why are Asian parents, while pushing for high academics and big corporate jobs in America , but not setting tall goals for American marriage, like marrying a white girl?
marrying white girl is tall goal? says who?
WTF are you talking about? you mean white people are better than other races?