If this doesn’t hit home. :/ It hurts having a parent who teaches you to be strong and outspoken but only when your voice is not used in opposition to them. It definitely sucks when they tell you you’re mean when you’re just exercising your voice. Man. 😔 There’s love there but there’s also hurt and misunderstanding.
Reminds me of my relationship with my Mom.... different personalities, but same core issues. Especially when the Mom is selfish....how are you going to say to your daughter don't take it so personal?!? How is a conversation with your Mother, not personal?
No shade but I think the Mom sees herself at the absolute center of everything. Its hard af being yourself around a person (especially a parent) that wants things to go their way IMO. Trying to grow up from an environment where you don't feel like you can be be yourself into the adult world becomes more difficult. Thus was truly eye opening.
Mom is filled with anxiety and has romanticized an altered reality that comforts her. She’s not a monster. She may need a therapist to help her to unpack some things.
Mom is dismissive AF!! She refuses to listen and accept who her daughter is. She’s your daughter NOT your mini-me/clone. She’s sensitive and always in her feelings. SO BE IT, that’s her.... It’s clear she loves her baby. I think more of these talks are vital, mama please try to hear your baby....
Sara K You don’t think the young lady knows and understands that about herself? That’s why she doesn’t need her mom constantly saying it. She’s just looking for her mom to listen and understand her without critique. I am a cancer woman, sensitive and emotional as the day is long. I wish I wasn’t sometimes, but I am. The last thing I need is for my mother to continuously tell me I don’t need to be sensitive and emotional. That’s what’s draining her.....
Sara K And that’s your opinion. I don’t know too many people who don’t say their mothers know them best. ESPECIALLY Black women. You got what you got out of it and I did the same. Not everyone has had my experience NOR see what I saw, AND I’m okay with that💕
Sara K The daughter never said she’s in her feelings all the time that’s the mothers opinion. To me I saw the daughter wanting so much more from her mom but she’s used to her mother laughing in avoidance and oblivion so she just smiles through the pain. We’re 20 seconds into the first question and the daughter is already bawling her eyes out! I instantly picked up on the pain and the fact that the daughter misses the relationship they once had. She’s begging her mom to accept her for who she is and to stop pushing her to be something that she’s not. Just like when she told her mom that she’s not being reclusive and her mom is just taking it that way. Go to 2:30 mark. The daughter is telling her mom this is why I keep to myself. I am my own woman, these are my thoughts & opinions and you combat me and make me be someone that I’m not in order to get the response out of me that you desire. That is so apparently clear! That’s draining from anyone but especially your mother, to constantly pick at you to bring you out of a shell that makes you who you are. She said she’s standoffish because she does NOT like when her mom comes at her like that. She doesn’t want to be in a combative aggressive state and her mom brings that out of her because she’s trying to control who she is. Do you not see that emotion, that hurt, those tears, her pleading? She know doubt loves her mom but she’s NOT being heard....
Damn, when the daughter said her mom let her explore her interests and do a bunch of things but she never learned how to pursue her talents once she was older I FELT THAT. Literally in the same situation right now but at 20. Praying we both figure it out. She seems like a bright and fun person, I know she will find something that makes her happy!!
You’re my sister age and I tell her to pursue her dreams now and right now I’m 27 and wasted so much time for moms approval. It never comes sweetie, always do and be you.
Whewwwwww. This is me and my mom. Being called “sensitive” is a trigger for me. It’s a constant battle between us. They teach us to be strong and to not care what other people think. However they never taught us that they (our moms) fall in that category. Prayers to both you guys!
So mom says daughter shouldn't take things personally but when daughter doesn't want to celebrate/do anything for Thanksgiving, mom takes that personally😂
Have you began to take her sound advice? Its benefits to being emotionally stable. Taking things too personal equates to feeling hit often, believing what the offender said/did, being unhappy, and/or feeling some kind of way. That is indeed a hard way to live.
Stephanie's energy is electric! And Atiya has that cool, calm vibe. I like it. It seems like they're opposites in terms of personality which might make them clash but the love is real between these two women. Loved this!
This hits me to my core. If you experienced a mother like her, this video triggered a bunch of emotions...cuz it certainly did for me. Never knew the term to put how my Mother talked and treated me until my younger sister told me what it is.... Gaslighting.
agreed. some ppl picked that woman apart as if she raised them. it's okay to comment on things that annoy you, but to try to diagnose this woman because of a dislike of her personality...is a bit too much.
Completely agree. These comments are crazy. There may be things they need to work out between them, but calling the mom toxic, manipulative, etc.i didn't get any of that from this short video.
@@MsSamiam79 there's always stuff to work on, u know. when kids come into adulthood, there's always a shift in the relationship. that's what I saw. a young woman coming into herself and a mom listening to a human who used to be totally dependent on her expressing her opinions. that's what I saw. idk what these other folks saw
Yes!! To all this. I think people forget how tough the mother daughter dynamic is. As a mom to a daughter who is in college I can tell you we have had some times that I haven’t had with my sons. I’m glad they’re talking it out and I hope this leads to more growth for both of them.
This video really triggered me......I feel the pain that she's feeling in my heart and it's tough dealing with a parent that's overbearing. Look at her face?,.... It's pain, it's sadness, it's toxic, and the only thing to do with this situation is cry. You can't beat your mother or disrespect her so the only thing you do is cry because your being misunderstood all the damn time!
I am this girl. My family have said I’m sensitive like my mother’s side. Smh I hate this video because it’s so close to home. I no longer want to do holidays with either side of my family.
Same!!! Saying I'm sensitive is like an insult/controlling tactic to get me to be quiet. BUT they have emotional reactions to a LOT of things I do and they expect me to just accept it.
But see that's the thing...you can be sensitive. Just know that being overly sensitive will come with consequences. There are quotes on artwork and such that say...let it go...dont worry be happy etc. If those are taken as insults instead of words of wisdom then the consequence is that one will be offended and upset about many minute things...instead of being happy.
Ugh! My goodness. Usually, when parents say "stop getting in your feelings and let go", it just sounds like "get over it" without trying to understand why the child is upset in the first place. Nobody wants to take the extra step to dig deep anymore. Parents shouldn't be so dismissive of a loved one's feelings. BUT, the way the mother in this video explained "letting go" was ABSOLUTELY REFRESHING. She was not being mean-spirited. She was actually uplifting her daughter. Very admirable of her!
I can tell that they love each other but I also sense the slightest bit of envy from the mother. I really hope they sort things out because they are such beautiful people
When I see this I am so emotional to see this. This is considered dysfunction in the black family with black mothers (not all) and daughters. Children are their own individuals and maybe a conversation or 2 would help alleviate the inability to effectively communicate and understand a perspective other than our own. I hope other teens are watching so they could learn a lesson and black mothers are watching so they could learn a lesson as well. Our mothers equip us with this strength and power to endure but yet try to control the very thing they teach us. Individual Independence, courage and the freedom to be someone other than who they are. We gotta listen more to our babies and allow them the freedom to be
Mom can't hold the tenderness of her child's emotions. And it reads as dismissive. She's also the typical mom who raises their child to be strong and outspoken...EXCEPT with mom. This is generational. AND mom needs to really ask and listen to why a child legit don't wanna come home for a holiday.
I dont think the mom understands how difficult to be 27 in 2019. Or being in that age range in this decade. The pressure is different, but parents act like its the same as theirs by saying "i went thru it too" It isnt their fault for not understanding because it isn't an experience theyve had. But if they would just listen and stop telling me how i should feel, i think we could do better I remember crying for being upset about something. And Im not someone who cries often, and my mother got angry with me for crying. "How are you gonna be grown and cry about everything". Bruh just hold me and tell me itll be fine
@@blessedandfavored9242 because weve been conditioned to achieve things by certain ages, our parents compare our success to others so weve learned to do the same. Although we really should just be doing us. The quicker we learn, the happier well be
This was an intense and needed conversation. I hope they begin healing their relationship, especially with these transitions they're both going through.
"What kind of person doesn't want to have Thanksgiving..." A person who doesn't. People can be reclusive if they want; even if they are your child. Your child is a person outside of you and can have thoughts and feelings about things that have nothing to do with you. This mom is full boomer to me and I have seen this personality type a lot. She is probably used to stifling herself for her parents/older relatives and now she wants the same treatment from her daughter. These kinds of moms say they want you to be your own woman but, they mean "I want you to want to be the woman I want you to be and I didn't get to be".
It takes tremendous courage to sit down as mother and daughter and get REAL. Will be 26 next year and my mother still avoids this conversation. I love that her mother supports her dreams and is open to understanding what they need to work on. You can feel the love her mom has for her. Sometimes just hearing and really showing us that makes a difference. Currently crying my eyes out to this, please post more! ❤
You can tell this was a much needed conversation for both mum and daughter hence the tearflows. Hope the daughter is able to heal her past experiences/resentment and forgive her mom so she can develop a new healthy woman-woman relationship with her mom.
Yeah it's beautiful to be vulnerable with each other , just watching this conversation is healing a need of accepting that my mom isn't ready and probably won't ever be ready to grow together with out deamining condemnation.
@@dirisurrezione365 When the time is right it will happen, it happened for me! Sometimes mom and daughter have to individually heal so that when they finally have that conversation there's a certain openness and willingness to hear each other out. On the other hand there are some parents who never want to develop a friendship with their children even if they grow up just want to hold their authoritative position in the dynamic.
@@k_5977 I am so happy for you and your mom! 🥰😍🤩😘 That's so awesome. I forgiven her already and understand her. Know that I'm older I realize not everyone has the same love in their hearts as others that in itself is a gift from GOD. I try to be the spiritual mother for all even my own Mom. One day I can share that love and form new memories with my own children but for now I am so happy womem and men throughout the world are breaking the stigma of mental and emotional health in relational Dynamics after all it's how families are formed that effect the society at large. God bless you and your family ! XO-
I don’t see the Mom as tough or overbearing, she just LOVES her child!! I guess I’m looking at it from a mother’s prospective. It is HARD being a parent and you are your own biggest critic about every choice you make and how it will affect your child. I LOVE them for having this deep sit down! Any relationship we have with another person is a continuous work in progress and we go through individual changes that affect those relationships!! They got this and they’re going to be stronger than ever because they took this step to do the work to fix or make their connection better and stronger! 🙏🏽💜💜💙💙💚💚
As a mom you NEVER know everything, nor have the answers to everything. Depending on your limited or full resources, healthy/unhealthy surrounding and healthy/unhealthy (what we think is or isnt) upbringing that plays a part in how you raise your children. As a mom myself you do the best you can with what you know and got. As a parent your job is never done no matter how old your children are. This video was beautiful. People commenting negatively about the mom like they have all the answers. What parent is perfect NONE. The fact that the mom and daugther can bare their souls on here and share honestly with each other is amazing. Do people realize how many children dare open up to their parents like this without being abused, and killed. Parents tossing their children out, killing, selling all of the above. This is AMAZING! The daugther is older and the mother has lessons to learn in letting go herself. The daugther has feelings too. Its not easy. Im a mom of a boy and we are close but i also am aware there things he doesnt tell me because we both know how i will react. Ive worked on it and we can talk about it. I still wont know everything because im aware he has to figure it out and if he needs my assistance i will do the best i can to assist. I felt this conversation was very healthy and positive the mom know what she was getting into when she came on the show. Its about being... simple as that. Being able to put into action the law of allowing looking at the good the bad the ugly within yourself as daugther and mother. Be a parent and let me know when you have all the answers. You dont know what you will bring into the world. Most arent even ready to become a parent but how many of us were? I wasnt ready but he is here and i made the best of it. When you think you have done all that you could or even thought you did everything right your children can still have unhealthy issues. The sweetest parents have given birth to monsters and had no idea where that behavior came from. I applaud this video from the two beautiful indiginous women. 👏🏽👏🏽
The mother is very judgmental and manipulative in a subliminal way 4:34, 12:46, 15:35. Instead of asking why, she criticizes. 10:51 she also needs to follow her own advice, she wants things to go her way and it’s seems to be a personality thing that’s beyond interacting with her daughter. People are different, while you might be able to “let things go” and be selfish not everyone is like that. This is too relatable, my mother is the same way.
I see this as a normal relationship between mom and daughter. It may be different from what you had but personally, I see nothing toxic about the situation.
As a mom you NEVER know everything, nor have the answers to everything. Depending on your limited or full resources, healthy/unhealthy surrounding and healthy/unhealthy (what we think is or isnt) upbringing that plays a part in how you raise your children. As a mom myself you do the best you can with what you know and got. As a parent your job is never done no matter how old your children are. This video was beautiful. People commenting negatively about the mom like they have all the answers. What parent is perfect NONE. The fact that the mom and daugther can bare their souls on here and share honestly with each other is amazing. Do people realize how many children dare open up to their parents like this without being abused, and killed. Parents tossing their children out, killing, selling all of the above. This is AMAZING! The daugther is older and the mother has lessons to learn in letting go herself. The daugther has feelings too. Its not easy. Im a mom of a boy and we are close but i also am aware there things he doesnt tell me because we both know how i will react. Ive worked on it and we can talk about it. I still wont know everything because im aware he has to figure it out and if he needs my assistance i will do the best i can to assist. I felt this conversation was very healthy and positive the mom know what she was getting into when she came on the show. Its about being... simple as that. Being able to put into action the law of allowing looking at the good the bad the ugly within yourself as daugther and mother. Be a parent and let me know when you have all the answers. You dont know what you will bring into the world. Most arent even ready to become a parent but how many of us were? I wasnt ready but he is here and i made the best of it. When you think you have done all that you could or even thought you did everything right your children can still have unhealthy issues. The sweetest parents have given birth to monsters and had no idea where that behavior came from. I applaud this video from the two beautiful indiginous women. 👏🏽👏🏽
I think they are just working through a season of growth, but they will be alright. It will take a few more years. But it is a difficult moment because the daughter is so fully the woman her mom raised her to be, and the mom now has to adjust. I think they will come out of this strong. People are bashing this mom, but she raised this girl well, and she is letting her go. And she needs to be honored for that. And she is sitting there listening to that child with open ears, and that shit is extraordinary. Everything else is just love working itself out while learning how to let go.
🤔 I sympathize with daughter poor baby just want to be loved and some mommy daughter attention from time to time and the mother seems like a total SWEETHEART 😍🤗 but she might be a narcissist and a little to jokey it's almost as if she's downplaying her daughter's true feelings @9:50 she is completely over her mother's bullshit and probably wants to leave 😣🤷 #selfish #immature #in denial
the following is a response to a comment on this video that reads: “I see Mom as caring. today’s kids are different and as a parent we are constantly learning. Mom is not wrong. No one is wrong. Mom truly cares. Until your a mother of grown children one [shouldn’t] be judging.” mom can be wrong and truly care at the same time. in fact, intrinsic motivation to be better in any relationship often comes from deeply caring about a person enough to improve and not repeat the same hurtful mistakes in the future. moreover, in order to create space for growth and healing, it’s necessary to peacefully be able to hold these two truths simultaneously. it’s a bit contradicting to say that parents aren’t perfect and constantly learning and also say that a parent is not wrong. if there are no mistakes being made then what is the point of all this learning? claiming imperfection necessitates ownership and responsibility of our wrongdoings. in regards to folx who respond defensively when receiving criticism from people who aren’t parents, it’s no question that being a parent definitely invites incomparable perspective and insight, but it is not necessary to be one in order to be able to recognize what a parent should work on in order to improve. who better to help point out these mistakes than the very children that you raised? and of course “today’s kids” are going to be different. that’s ultimately what we’re raising them to be!-different and better than any previous generation of humans so that they may reach heights we were not able to in our time. young humans are terribly intelligent and adapt well to their own generational circumstances just as we did and continue to do so. we don’t give them enough credit. and it certainly shows when they come into adulthood and we still struggle to peacefully accept and rejoice in our differences. we are here to guide, not to mold!
Nobody has this life thing figured out. In the end we all truly will be fine...whatever that means to each and every one of us, we just need to hold on and step into each other’s shoes just a little more so we can see where they’re coming from and treat them with kindness and compassion!
As a mother that grew up close to my single mom & now raising my child........... I understand them both. Loll & my mother always tell me I’m only 28 & everything will be okay just be❤️
When she said you’re going to be fine. Don’t be so in your feelings. I felt that shit. I went through that feeling of being trapped and not able to accomplish shit. I wish I had my mom to tell me to calm down and get out of my feelings.
Me and my mom got into a huge argument today. I told her I have a suicide letter in my glove compartment and that I wish she never took me on as a responsibility because she is so horrible at nurturing a child . I don’t regret it
I feel you & I’ve felt similar sentiments regarding my mother but then I stepped outside myself & questioned if my mother is unable to give me the kind of nurturing I desire because her mother wasn’t able to provide it for her. Our mothers carry trauma they’ve received from their mothers/parents. Idk if it made sense but it helped to understand my mother better
This is so me and my mom.... except she’s dead. And I never got the chance to have this adult conversation. I lost her at 21. And watching this is hard. I think I’ll go watch the masked singer or something.
I see Mom as caring. today's kids are different and as a parent we are constantly learning. Mom is not wrong. No one is wrong. Mom truly cares. Until your a mother of grown children one should be judging.
People are judgmental in the comments but I keep wondering how many of us can have those kinds of conversations with our moms. They are blessed to have each other, it’s so beautiful
I see many people commenting negatively. But I think this is more common than not...::this reminds me of my relationship with my mom and I. And yes, it gets stressful at times, but our bond is still there and genuine
Why did I have this exact question with my mom last week. I won't speak on all black mothers, because I don't know their relationship, but if I ever had an opinion or belief that my mom didn't have she always just said it was in defiance of her. She never really believed or let me have my own opinions unless they were her own. I could never have my own beliefs and she always invalidated how what I felt and what I believed in. It really messes people up your feelings of self worth, it makes you think that you're not good enough and that you won't be loved for being yourself. And I see that on both sides of my family. If your own move can't love you fully for who you are, who can? :/
It’s hard for her mom to really say what real. The mom use to be her child. Most little girls remind their mom of them. So when your mom seems she doesn’t care because she says lighten up she is just saying “ I use to be there “ I use to overthink “ I use to be you “. Rather she knows it or not her mom is her ride or die. Once she get out her feelings and be the bigger person for her mom their relationship will be great. I’m speaking from experience with my and my mom. I was the daughter t to the T. The Lord made me realize how to work it. But being in your feelings about everything is tragic to most things in life. Trussstt meee. I’m so happy I learned this early because of I didn’t my life would be so different man ❤️
Daje Austin I completely AGREE with you!! I guess it took me growing older and having my own children to realize how blessed I am to have my Mom! I know now how freaking HARD it is to be a parent. People assume that just because someone is “grown” or becomes a parent that they have everything figured out when we don’t because LIFE changes & throws obstacles our way EVERY DAY! So when you have a child when you’re in the so called prime of your life when you’re supposed to be working on your self it’s BIG! Then to have a child in the mist of it, sends your brain into overdrive of “what are you gonna do with you life..job..school..house..car..FUTURE!” It’s a lot to handle & her Mom is just telling her calm down baby, you got this. If I can make it so can you! You hit the nail right on the head about her Mom telling her to let things go or do worry so much, it’s because she’s been there and MADE IT and from how amazing she sees her daughter at the age she is, she KNOWS her baby can handle it and just wants her to see that shit happens, we hurt, get sad, mad and all those other emotions but we CAN’T sit it in those feelings or allow them to take over and stall our growth or movement!!
Aww.. mom struggles with vulnerability. So it’s hard to deal with her daughter’s vulnerability and authenticity. They can work through it. They love each other deeply.
I believe that caught the mom off guard. She probably didnot want being in jail brought up for whatever reason. I'm thinking this because of her facial expression.
Look like some sort of ombre thing going on. So perhaps you can try a darkish pink/burgundy on the perimeter of your lips and put a light pink/blush lipstick in the center. Blend the two...then go over it was a clear lip gloss for shimmer
This is why I coach on identity....s/n, mom is uncomfortable being vulnerable. Also, she dictates and she listens to respond vs hearing to understand. Hearing is a bodily function.
No, mom. You don't understand, that IS judgment. You trying to change her. My mom is like that. I think you want what's best for us, but in YOUR way and with YOUR ideologies. And that's when we don't feel accepted. I just wish some of the mothers accept that if the child is a bit "different" or "too much" of anything, that that's OK. I mean I know I wouldn't be questioning so much of whether people are truly genuine with me or not if from a young age I wasn't made to feel unaccepted.
Bruh this my mom to a tee. Basically what she's saying is I know you love me but not sure that you like me. When she said: "you don't get to pick and choose my independence." pfff
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
If this doesn’t hit home. :/ It hurts having a parent who teaches you to be strong and outspoken but only when your voice is not used in opposition to them. It definitely sucks when they tell you you’re mean when you’re just exercising your voice. Man. 😔 There’s love there but there’s also hurt and misunderstanding.
You took the words out of my mouth
Yea. I wonder if it's a culture thing because my mom's the same way.
My life!!! The same dynamics!
Yes yes yes
Reminds me of my relationship with my Mom.... different personalities, but same core issues. Especially when the Mom is selfish....how are you going to say to your daughter don't take it so personal?!? How is a conversation with your Mother, not personal?
No shade but I think the Mom sees herself at the absolute center of everything. Its hard af being yourself around a person (especially a parent) that wants things to go their way IMO. Trying to grow up from an environment where you don't feel like you can be be yourself into the adult world becomes more difficult. Thus was truly eye opening.
Mom is filled with anxiety and has romanticized an altered reality that comforts her. She’s not a monster. She may need a therapist to help her to unpack some things.
Mom is dismissive AF!! She refuses to listen and accept who her daughter is. She’s your daughter NOT your mini-me/clone. She’s sensitive and always in her feelings. SO BE IT, that’s her.... It’s clear she loves her baby. I think more of these talks are vital, mama please try to hear your baby....
I literally experience exactly what you just said with my mom sometimes!
Sara K You don’t think the young lady knows and understands that about herself? That’s why she doesn’t need her mom constantly saying it. She’s just looking for her mom to listen and understand her without critique. I am a cancer woman, sensitive and emotional as the day is long. I wish I wasn’t sometimes, but I am. The last thing I need is for my mother to continuously tell me I don’t need to be sensitive and emotional. That’s what’s draining her.....
Tierra McClendon Me too💔 (I know we’re all doing our best though)
Sara K And that’s your opinion. I don’t know too many people who don’t say their mothers know them best. ESPECIALLY Black women. You got what you got out of it and I did the same. Not everyone has had my experience NOR see what I saw, AND I’m okay with that💕
Sara K The daughter never said she’s in her feelings all the time that’s the mothers opinion. To me I saw the daughter wanting so much more from her mom but she’s used to her mother laughing in avoidance and oblivion so she just smiles through the pain. We’re 20 seconds into the first question and the daughter is already bawling her eyes out! I instantly picked up on the pain and the fact that the daughter misses the relationship they once had. She’s begging her mom to accept her for who she is and to stop pushing her to be something that she’s not. Just like when she told her mom that she’s not being reclusive and her mom is just taking it that way. Go to 2:30 mark. The daughter is telling her mom this is why I keep to myself. I am my own woman, these are my thoughts & opinions and you combat me and make me be someone that I’m not in order to get the response out of me that you desire. That is so apparently clear! That’s draining from anyone but especially your mother, to constantly pick at you to bring you out of a shell that makes you who you are. She said she’s standoffish because she does NOT like when her mom comes at her like that. She doesn’t want to be in a combative aggressive state and her mom brings that out of her because she’s trying to control who she is. Do you not see that emotion, that hurt, those tears, her pleading? She know doubt loves her mom but she’s NOT being heard....
Damn, when the daughter said her mom let her explore her interests and do a bunch of things but she never learned how to pursue her talents once she was older I FELT THAT. Literally in the same situation right now but at 20. Praying we both figure it out. She seems like a bright and fun person, I know she will find something that makes her happy!!
You’re my sister age and I tell her to pursue her dreams now and right now I’m 27 and wasted so much time for moms approval. It never comes sweetie, always do and be you.
I am also a 20 year old man, I often feel like that.
Whewwwwww. This is me and my mom. Being called “sensitive” is a trigger for me. It’s a constant battle between us. They teach us to be strong and to not care what other people think. However they never taught us that they (our moms) fall in that category. Prayers to both you guys!
So mom says daughter shouldn't take things personally but when daughter doesn't want to celebrate/do anything for Thanksgiving, mom takes that personally😂
Good point..
When mom says "...personally" I think she means, don't think its about you.
@@AnA-lj7vf ok
Also the next time someone asks for Kleenex, GET THEM KLEENEX!
They left home girl hanging for a min 😂
I know right
Google Account yes!! I came here to say that!! Damn! 5+ minutes in..
Her whole face was wet.
was it on the ground the whole time lol
Their relationship reminds me so much of me and my mom. When mom says not to take things so personal, my mom tells me this all the time
Sydney Simmons lol same. You should read The Four Agreements, awesome book
I know it’s important not to take things personal but never invalidate your feelings either. ❤️
Have you began to take her sound advice? Its benefits to being emotionally stable. Taking things too personal equates to feeling hit often, believing what the offender said/did, being unhappy, and/or feeling some kind of way. That is indeed a hard way to live.
Stephanie's energy is electric! And Atiya has that cool, calm vibe. I like it. It seems like they're opposites in terms of personality which might make them clash but the love is real between these two women. Loved this!
This hits me to my core. If you experienced a mother like her, this video triggered a bunch of emotions...cuz it certainly did for me. Never knew the term to put how my Mother talked and treated me until my younger sister told me what it is.... Gaslighting.
a lot of people are pulling their baggage into this conversation. STOP. two generations of women sorting their lives together is beautiful.
agreed. some ppl picked that woman apart as if she raised them. it's okay to comment on things that annoy you, but to try to diagnose this woman because of a dislike of her personality...is a bit too much.
@@madamepaka yea, it's a lot of pop-culture qualified psychologists on here. it's like stop...
Completely agree. These comments are crazy. There may be things they need to work out between them, but calling the mom toxic, manipulative, etc.i didn't get any of that from this short video.
@@MsSamiam79 there's always stuff to work on, u know. when kids come into adulthood, there's always a shift in the relationship. that's what I saw. a young woman coming into herself and a mom listening to a human who used to be totally dependent on her expressing her opinions. that's what I saw. idk what these other folks saw
Yes!! To all this. I think people forget how tough the mother daughter dynamic is. As a mom to a daughter who is in college I can tell you we have had some times that I haven’t had with my sons. I’m glad they’re talking it out and I hope this leads to more growth for both of them.
This video really triggered me......I feel the pain that she's feeling in my heart and it's tough dealing with a parent that's overbearing. Look at her face?,.... It's pain, it's sadness, it's toxic, and the only thing to do with this situation is cry. You can't beat your mother or disrespect her so the only thing you do is cry because your being misunderstood all the damn time!
thank you
Throughout all of this all I could think about was ‘I could never do this with my mother ‘
Sahra Mohamud same here :((
Saaaaame. She would probably start shouting and miss the point of what I'm saying....
And yet everyone talks about how horrible she is
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
righttt
I am this girl. My family have said I’m sensitive like my mother’s side. Smh I hate this video because it’s so close to home. I no longer want to do holidays with either side of my family.
Me too girl!
Me too😅
Same!!! Saying I'm sensitive is like an insult/controlling tactic to get me to be quiet. BUT they have emotional reactions to a LOT of things I do and they expect me to just accept it.
But see that's the thing...you can be sensitive. Just know that being overly sensitive will come with consequences. There are quotes on artwork and such that say...let it go...dont worry be happy etc. If those are taken as insults instead of words of wisdom then the consequence is that one will be offended and upset about many minute things...instead of being happy.
Ugh! My goodness. Usually, when parents say "stop getting in your feelings and let go", it just sounds like "get over it" without trying to understand why the child is upset in the first place. Nobody wants to take the extra step to dig deep anymore. Parents shouldn't be so dismissive of a loved one's feelings. BUT, the way the mother in this video explained "letting go" was ABSOLUTELY REFRESHING. She was not being mean-spirited. She was actually uplifting her daughter. Very admirable of her!
I can tell that they love each other but I also sense the slightest bit of envy from the mother. I really hope they sort things out because they are such beautiful people
Some mothers think their daughters stole their youth.
When I see this I am so emotional to see this. This is considered dysfunction in the black family with black mothers (not all) and daughters. Children are their own individuals and maybe a conversation or 2 would help alleviate the inability to effectively communicate and understand a perspective other than our own. I hope other teens are watching so they could learn a lesson and black mothers are watching so they could learn a lesson as well. Our mothers equip us with this strength and power to endure but yet try to control the very thing they teach us. Individual Independence, courage and the freedom to be someone other than who they are. We gotta listen more to our babies and allow them the freedom to be
2intriguing1 Wow sis this comment was everything 😭🙌🏾🙌🏾
I LOVE this mom. She has her flaws of course but she LOVES her daughter and thinks the world of her.
sabzSoul I agree
I think the same thing! These ppl are tearing here down in the comments and I’m questioning if we’re watching the same interview.
But she messed her shit up so...
Mom can't hold the tenderness of her child's emotions. And it reads as dismissive. She's also the typical mom who raises their child to be strong and outspoken...EXCEPT with mom. This is generational. AND mom needs to really ask and listen to why a child legit don't wanna come home for a holiday.
Spot on!
I feel very sorry for the daughter. She’s going to have to be strong, especially when she becomes a mother herself.
I dont think the mom understands how difficult to be 27 in 2019. Or being in that age range in this decade. The pressure is different, but parents act like its the same as theirs by saying "i went thru it too"
It isnt their fault for not understanding because it isn't an experience theyve had. But if they would just listen and stop telling me how i should feel, i think we could do better
I remember crying for being upset about something. And Im not someone who cries often, and my mother got angry with me for crying. "How are you gonna be grown and cry about everything". Bruh just hold me and tell me itll be fine
Why are people fearful of turning older?
@@blessedandfavored9242 because weve been conditioned to achieve things by certain ages, our parents compare our success to others so weve learned to do the same. Although we really should just be doing us. The quicker we learn, the happier well be
As a mother it is so hard. We grew up different, so we are trying to adjust to the new generation. That doesn't make us wrong. At least we trying.
@@caezsty I want a deeper breakdown. I'm just trying to have comfort so I want to know like the specifics and what's different and things like that.
Don’t be afraid to say that exact last sentence to your mom. Kids don’t come with instructions. Sometimes parents need specific directions.
the mother is very overbearing but I can't be mad cause I can also tell it comes from a loving place.. its hard..
MOM YOU ARE NOT LISTENING AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS CLEARLY HURTING
😢
You were attached. You cried the whole ride home lol
This was an intense and needed conversation. I hope they begin healing their relationship, especially with these transitions they're both going through.
"What kind of person doesn't want to have Thanksgiving..." A person who doesn't. People can be reclusive if they want; even if they are your child. Your child is a person outside of you and can have thoughts and feelings about things that have nothing to do with you. This mom is full boomer to me and I have seen this personality type a lot. She is probably used to stifling herself for her parents/older relatives and now she wants the same treatment from her daughter. These kinds of moms say they want you to be your own woman but, they mean "I want you to want to be the woman I want you to be and I didn't get to be".
Tht cud be a good thing to
God honest, I would be crying this whole conversation, anything good or bad about my Mother makes me cry.
Are you a cancer? Lol
"that's ya father's people" going in the repertoire.
😂😂
It takes tremendous courage to sit down as mother and daughter and get REAL. Will be 26 next year and my mother still avoids this conversation. I love that her mother supports her dreams and is open to understanding what they need to work on. You can feel the love her mom has for her. Sometimes just hearing and really showing us that makes a difference. Currently crying my eyes out to this, please post more! ❤
2 minutes in they’re crying already. Wow. Aww.
I love this. Honesty and vulnerability is so transformative.
You can tell this was a much needed conversation for both mum and daughter hence the tearflows. Hope the daughter is able to heal her past experiences/resentment and forgive her mom so she can develop a new healthy woman-woman relationship with her mom.
Yeah it's beautiful to be vulnerable with each other , just watching this conversation is healing a need of accepting that my mom isn't ready and probably won't ever be ready to grow together with out deamining condemnation.
@@dirisurrezione365 When the time is right it will happen, it happened for me! Sometimes mom and daughter have to individually heal so that when they finally have that conversation there's a certain openness and willingness to hear each other out.
On the other hand there are some parents who never want to develop a friendship with their children even if they grow up just want to hold their authoritative position in the dynamic.
@@k_5977 I am so happy for you and your mom! 🥰😍🤩😘 That's so awesome. I forgiven her already and understand her. Know that I'm older I realize not everyone has the same love in their hearts as others that in itself is a gift from GOD. I try to be the spiritual mother for all even my own Mom. One day I can share that love and form new memories with my own children but for now I am so happy womem and men throughout the world are breaking the stigma of mental and emotional health in relational Dynamics after all it's how families are formed that effect the society at large. God bless you and your family ! XO-
@@dirisurrezione365 Indeed, mental health matters. God bless you too and Merry Christmas! 🎄🤗
I don’t see the Mom as tough or overbearing, she just LOVES her child!! I guess I’m looking at it from a mother’s prospective. It is HARD being a parent and you are your own biggest critic about every choice you make and how it will affect your child.
I LOVE them for having this deep sit down! Any relationship we have with another person is a continuous work in progress and we go through individual changes that affect those relationships!!
They got this and they’re going to be stronger than ever because they took this step to do the work to fix or make their connection better and stronger! 🙏🏽💜💜💙💙💚💚
As a mom you NEVER know everything, nor have the answers to everything. Depending on your limited or full resources, healthy/unhealthy surrounding and healthy/unhealthy (what we think is or isnt) upbringing that plays a part in how you raise your children. As a mom myself you do the best you can with what you know and got. As a parent your job is never done no matter how old your children are. This video was beautiful. People commenting negatively about the mom like they have all the answers. What parent is perfect NONE. The fact that the mom and daugther can bare their souls on here and share honestly with each other is amazing. Do people realize how many children dare open up to their parents like this without being abused, and killed. Parents tossing their children out, killing, selling all of the above. This is AMAZING! The daugther is older and the mother has lessons to learn in letting go herself. The daugther has feelings too. Its not easy. Im a mom of a boy and we are close but i also am aware there things he doesnt tell me because we both know how i will react. Ive worked on it and we can talk about it. I still wont know everything because im aware he has to figure it out and if he needs my assistance i will do the best i can to assist. I felt this conversation was very healthy and positive the mom know what she was getting into when she came on the show. Its about being... simple as that. Being able to put into action the law of allowing looking at the good the bad the ugly within yourself as daugther and mother. Be a parent and let me know when you have all the answers. You dont know what you will bring into the world. Most arent even ready to become a parent but how many of us were? I wasnt ready but he is here and i made the best of it. When you think you have done all that you could or even thought you did everything right your children can still have unhealthy issues. The sweetest parents have given birth to monsters and had no idea where that behavior came from. I applaud this video from the two beautiful indiginous women. 👏🏽👏🏽
They sound like sisters. They straight left script and had a full convo. ❤ it.
I absolutely love this channel. Thank you for great content.
The mother is very judgmental and manipulative in a subliminal way 4:34, 12:46, 15:35. Instead of asking why, she criticizes. 10:51 she also needs to follow her own advice, she wants things to go her way and it’s seems to be a personality thing that’s beyond interacting with her daughter. People are different, while you might be able to “let things go” and be selfish not everyone is like that. This is too relatable, my mother is the same way.
oh stop
michelle louise so do you and your need for attention. Get lost.
No she is not.
I see this as a normal relationship between mom and daughter. It may be different from what you had but personally, I see nothing toxic about the situation.
Her mom reminds me of my mom. Romanticizes reality. I be like where were you this whole time cause we couldn't have been in the same house. 🏡 💕✨
!!!!!!!!!!!!! the accuracy
As a mom you NEVER know everything, nor have the answers to everything. Depending on your limited or full resources, healthy/unhealthy surrounding and healthy/unhealthy (what we think is or isnt) upbringing that plays a part in how you raise your children. As a mom myself you do the best you can with what you know and got. As a parent your job is never done no matter how old your children are. This video was beautiful. People commenting negatively about the mom like they have all the answers. What parent is perfect NONE. The fact that the mom and daugther can bare their souls on here and share honestly with each other is amazing. Do people realize how many children dare open up to their parents like this without being abused, and killed. Parents tossing their children out, killing, selling all of the above. This is AMAZING! The daugther is older and the mother has lessons to learn in letting go herself. The daugther has feelings too. Its not easy. Im a mom of a boy and we are close but i also am aware there things he doesnt tell me because we both know how i will react. Ive worked on it and we can talk about it. I still wont know everything because im aware he has to figure it out and if he needs my assistance i will do the best i can to assist. I felt this conversation was very healthy and positive the mom know what she was getting into when she came on the show. Its about being... simple as that. Being able to put into action the law of allowing looking at the good the bad the ugly within yourself as daugther and mother. Be a parent and let me know when you have all the answers. You dont know what you will bring into the world. Most arent even ready to become a parent but how many of us were? I wasnt ready but he is here and i made the best of it. When you think you have done all that you could or even thought you did everything right your children can still have unhealthy issues. The sweetest parents have given birth to monsters and had no idea where that behavior came from. I applaud this video from the two beautiful indiginous women. 👏🏽👏🏽
Sou Eu Sou Thank you!
I think they are just working through a season of growth, but they will be alright. It will take a few more years. But it is a difficult moment because the daughter is so fully the woman her mom raised her to be, and the mom now has to adjust. I think they will come out of this strong.
People are bashing this mom, but she raised this girl well, and she is letting her go. And she needs to be honored for that. And she is sitting there listening to that child with open ears, and that shit is extraordinary. Everything else is just love working itself out while learning how to let go.
This is definitely me and my mom. I’m Atiya all the wayyyyy. This was very beautiful to watch..
🤔 I sympathize with daughter poor baby just want to be loved and some mommy daughter attention from time to time and the mother seems like a total SWEETHEART 😍🤗 but she might be a narcissist and a little to jokey it's almost as if she's downplaying her daughter's true feelings @9:50 she is completely over her mother's bullshit and probably wants to leave 😣🤷
#selfish
#immature
#in denial
@Sara K that's your opinion and I have mine and I'm going to stand in mine 🤷 and so far my opinion has gain me six likes your's doesn't have any 😜
@Sara K I didn't give a diagnosis I gave an opinion there's a difference but oh well on to the NEXT VIDEO SHALL WE🤷
@Sara K OMG Sarah shut up why are you so pressed 🤷🤣 you must be a narcissist as well 🤔💅👑
The mom said a lot of nothing.
Damn atiya wanted to cry off bat😞
I love this one. Coming of age and reassurance. And HONESTY. ❤️
the following is a response to a comment on this video that reads: “I see Mom as caring. today’s kids are different and as a parent we are constantly learning. Mom is not wrong. No one is wrong. Mom truly cares. Until your a mother of grown children one [shouldn’t] be judging.”
mom can be wrong and truly care at the same time.
in fact, intrinsic motivation to be better in any relationship often comes from deeply caring about a person enough to improve and not repeat the same hurtful mistakes in the future. moreover, in order to create space for growth and healing, it’s necessary to peacefully be able to hold these two truths simultaneously. it’s a bit contradicting to say that parents aren’t perfect and constantly learning and also say that a parent is not wrong. if there are no mistakes being made then what is the point of all this learning? claiming imperfection necessitates ownership and responsibility of our wrongdoings.
in regards to folx who respond defensively when receiving criticism from people who aren’t parents, it’s no question that being a parent definitely invites incomparable perspective and insight, but it is not necessary to be one in order to be able to recognize what a parent should work on in order to improve. who better to help point out these mistakes than the very children that you raised?
and of course “today’s kids” are going to be different. that’s ultimately what we’re raising them to be!-different and better than any previous generation of humans so that they may reach heights we were not able to in our time. young humans are terribly intelligent and adapt well to their own generational circumstances just as we did and continue to do so. we don’t give them enough credit. and it certainly shows when they come into adulthood and we still struggle to peacefully accept and rejoice in our differences. we are here to guide, not to mold!
Nobody has this life thing figured out. In the end we all truly will be fine...whatever that means to each and every one of us, we just need to hold on and step into each other’s shoes just a little more so we can see where they’re coming from and treat them with kindness and compassion!
When the mom started to tear up, I started tearing up!!😂😂😂 OH MA GAH!!😂😂😂🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
❤ oh her mom loves her so deeply. its so beautiful to see that depth of maternal love.
Amazing conversation. This gave me so much insight in my own life 💜
Thank you for being vulnerable for the world
When the app comes out, can we film our conversations and upload them to youtube, ofc mentioning the app ? 🤔🤔🤔
"Dont take stuff so personal!"
"That's a judgement tho"
*takes statement personal lmaooo
As a mother that grew up close to my single mom & now raising my child........... I understand them both. Loll & my mother always tell me I’m only 28 & everything will be okay just be❤️
A lot of these conversations are not the healthiest and are hard to watch at times. I appreciate the openness.
I watch a lot of these videos but this was beautiful. It’s so honest I appreciate you ladies for being this open and vulnerable.
When she said you’re going to be fine. Don’t be so in your feelings. I felt that shit. I went through that feeling of being trapped and not able to accomplish shit. I wish I had my mom to tell me to calm down and get out of my feelings.
Me and my mom got into a huge argument today. I told her I have a suicide letter in my glove compartment and that I wish she never took me on as a responsibility because she is so horrible at nurturing a child . I don’t regret it
I feel you & I’ve felt similar sentiments regarding my mother but then I stepped outside myself & questioned if my mother is unable to give me the kind of nurturing I desire because her mother wasn’t able to provide it for her. Our mothers carry trauma they’ve received from their mothers/parents. Idk if it made sense but it helped to understand my mother better
And to piggyback on what was said: life ends unexpectantly at times. It helps to understand her past then to respond to pain by adding to it.
@michellelouise -they do not! Stop pushing that narrative-they need communication and honesty.
I can’t forgive someone who intentionally hurts me. Fuck their feelings,
michelle louise smh. You need to put the pipe down
They have a very sweet relationship. Even W/ all the ups and downs
This is deep.
Much love🖤. She is a great mum and she is a great daughter
This is so me and my mom.... except she’s dead. And I never got the chance to have this adult conversation. I lost her at 21. And watching this is hard. I think I’ll go watch the masked singer or something.
Ricci 34821 hugs xx
awww...im sorry
Same. That's all I kept thinking for the 2nd half of this video
This is necessary, timeless, progressive, and precious.
I see Mom as caring. today's kids are different and as a parent we are constantly learning. Mom is not wrong. No one is wrong. Mom truly cares. Until your a mother of grown children one should be judging.
damn, they can't get the girl some tissue?
edit: nevermind
Ughh, I relate to the daughter so much
Two seconds in and I already love this woman.
People are judgmental in the comments but I keep wondering how many of us can have those kinds of conversations with our moms. They are blessed to have each other, it’s so beautiful
i wanna be friends with the daughter. our moms would probably be good friends too.
I see many people commenting negatively. But I think this is more common than not...::this reminds me of my relationship with my mom and I. And yes, it gets stressful at times, but our bond is still there and genuine
This mother sounds toxic...I feel a lot of Narc vibes here ..manipulation, guilt tripping ,judgement....this mom is making me upset
@michelle louise exactly LMAOOO
I felt the same i can see she loves her daughter too
The mothers love would be under her conditions.
My mom af, i like piercings and I’m pretty grundgey and she hates it . I hide a lot of my true personality from her
Why did I have this exact question with my mom last week. I won't speak on all black mothers, because I don't know their relationship, but if I ever had an opinion or belief that my mom didn't have she always just said it was in defiance of her. She never really believed or let me have my own opinions unless they were her own. I could never have my own beliefs and she always invalidated how what I felt and what I believed in. It really messes people up your feelings of self worth, it makes you think that you're not good enough and that you won't be loved for being yourself. And I see that on both sides of my family. If your own move can't love you fully for who you are, who can? :/
This was beautiful!!!
It’s hard for her mom to really say what real. The mom use to be her child. Most little girls remind their mom of them. So when your mom seems she doesn’t care because she says lighten up she is just saying “ I use to be there “ I use to overthink “ I use to be you “. Rather she knows it or not her mom is her ride or die. Once she get out her feelings and be the bigger person for her mom their relationship will be great. I’m speaking from experience with my and my mom. I was the daughter t to the T. The Lord made me realize how to work it. But being in your feelings about everything is tragic to most things in life. Trussstt meee. I’m so happy I learned this early because of I didn’t my life would be so different man ❤️
Daje Austin I completely AGREE with you!! I guess it took me growing older and having my own children to realize how blessed I am to have my Mom! I know now how freaking HARD it is to be a parent. People assume that just because someone is “grown” or becomes a parent that they have everything figured out when we don’t because LIFE changes & throws obstacles our way EVERY DAY! So when you have a child when you’re in the so called prime of your life when you’re supposed to be working on your self it’s BIG! Then to have a child in the mist of it, sends your brain into overdrive of “what are you gonna do with you life..job..school..house..car..FUTURE!” It’s a lot to handle & her Mom is just telling her calm down baby, you got this. If I can make it so can you!
You hit the nail right on the head about her Mom telling her to let things go or do worry so much, it’s because she’s been there and MADE IT and from how amazing she sees her daughter at the age she is, she KNOWS her baby can handle it and just wants her to see that shit happens, we hurt, get sad, mad and all those other emotions but we CAN’T sit it in those feelings or allow them to take over and stall our growth or movement!!
This video really hits hard
I relate to the daughter so much. Mother daughter relationships are so complicated
It seems like this is a only daughter situation. There is so much love there
Aww.. mom struggles with vulnerability. So it’s hard to deal with her daughter’s vulnerability and authenticity. They can work through it. They love each other deeply.
"When I wanted to be a photographer for 2 weeks" - I felt that statement lol
💔❤ #Healing to the mom & daughter
Why would mom be surprised at her wishing not to have experienced her being locked up?
Like what child would want to see their parent go to jail?
I believe that caught the mom off guard. She probably didnot want being in jail brought up for whatever reason. I'm thinking this because of her facial expression.
The daughter reminds me of me sooooo much!! I’m getting ISFP vibes
what lip gloss is she wearing!!!!!!!
Look like some sort of ombre thing going on. So perhaps you can try a darkish pink/burgundy on the perimeter of your lips and put a light pink/blush lipstick in the center. Blend the two...then go over it was a clear lip gloss for shimmer
This is why I coach on identity....s/n, mom is uncomfortable being vulnerable. Also, she dictates and she listens to respond vs hearing to understand. Hearing is a bodily function.
Mom's everything ❤
What a beautiful relationship... ❤️💓
Wow I relate to the daughter so much
lol I really wish I could get my mom to do this .. It would open up so much things especially on camera
I'm TRIGGERED
I can’t watch this in peace all this crying 😭😭😭
I enjoyed this episode though very pure
No, mom. You don't understand, that IS judgment. You trying to change her.
My mom is like that. I think you want what's best for us, but in YOUR way and with YOUR ideologies. And that's when we don't feel accepted. I just wish some of the mothers accept that if the child is a bit "different" or "too much" of anything, that that's OK. I mean I know I wouldn't be questioning so much of whether people are truly genuine with me or not if from a young age I wasn't made to feel unaccepted.
I wonder if they are from the DMV area ?
Nic Andrews they gotta be
They definitely are
I was thinking DMV or Baltimore with those accents.
Bruh this my mom to a tee. Basically what she's saying is I know you love me but not sure that you like me.
When she said: "you don't get to pick and choose my independence." pfff
I wonder where they are from, sounds like the DMV area
Mom is manipulative
These loves are defff from the DC area. I hear my family all in this convo lol.
Yeah mom doesn’t listen at all
Awesomeness!!!
Bring the girl some tissues! WTF
Tierra McClendon the tissue was on the ground the whole time lol
“Oh we’re going to do that then…” ohhh child the momma Toxic