Hey Kati, can you make a video called "watch this if you're thinking about ending our life" ? Somedays I just need a nice video to watch and remember some resons not to give up
It's so tiring fighting this isn't it. For me, I seem to compartmentalize the act of not doing it, reasons not to, what it will cause in my family, etc. Great suggestion!
Hi ! I had this situation 10 years ago, I can promise you suicide is not the answer ! You might feel bad and bored & stuck but you'll realize you needed time to find who you are and once you know, you will love and protect yourself :) If cheesy movies and youtube videos doesn't do the trick, I suggest you turn on scary movies. They're scientifically known to improve strength against stress & negativity, google it ;) Altho keep yourself busy with creativity, at the end you feel great and more productive. So how about you ask a friend or a relative to watch the Scream trilogy while eating HOMEMADE apple pie ? If you're 100% alone like I was, you'll survive and enjoy anyway !
NLP - Diese drei Buchstaben haben mein Leben ruiniert........ ungefähr genauso wie als ich im Jahre 2010 in ein Diakonia LAden reingerannt bin und von einem Verkäufer Scientology belabert wurde Since I was debile!!!!
Hey Kati. Can you make a video on how and why people are addicted to numbing (etc. Food. Social media. Working lots) (etc. Because they not living life as their true selves, not happy with life situation)?
How much of compensating for lack is based simply on a misleading view of reality as we actually experience it? What I mean is what is observable when you don't project some idea or ideal on it and expect whatever it is to match your expectation, which of course, leads to an inevitable disappointment. It is like expecting things to last when change and impermanence is what the Universe does. This can be a common and learned behavior in a culture that places primary value on acquisition of things and competition with others and considers behaviors and beliefs like that to be the most meaningful. That's something to explore for yourself with an open honest investigation, since there are many influences that can lead you to false assumptions about life and hence, there is suffering involved and the need to compensate for the perception of lack in place of the recognition and appreciation of what actually is right now and only now. When you notice that the drives or ideas that revolve around the expectation of some ultimate and lasting satisfaction, (in whatever shape or form you define it) are not at all realistic or true, then you see that satisfaction and other states are temporary; they come and they go like everything does. Coming to terms with that can actually be more satisfying, (well, addiction is an issue here) because what you experience is actually internal reactions and then, satisfaction is also something you generate as a reaction or response to what you imagine or think will be satisfying. So, it is in your hands and maybe even a choice then to cultivate a sense of contentment and satisfaction naturally rather than artificially by way of people and objects. Obviously, nothing and nobody is going to actually do that for long and you are bound to be dissatisfied, otherwise. Consider a sneeze. You can feel the sense of strong irritation as the sensation builds. Then, suddenly, you sneeze and there is a very pleasant sense of relief that then fades away. That's a simile for everything we experience when you pay attention. Why fool one's self by imagining a time or a place where, someday, when everything is right, it will all be okay, (as I imagine it) forever? That prevalent means of avoiding the flow in the present could really drive a person to compensate, overcompensate and even numb themselves as a futile attempt to avoid simply how experience functions. It might take some practice or tenacity to really see how unsatisfactory life typically is, but doing so aligns you with the way of life and that can, conversely allow your mind and emotions to function more naturally and authentically. You have to find out for yourself because it is a matter of experience, not just knowing and ideas. Often, the acceptance, by way of inquiry, into the way things are actually functioning is very connecting and brings about a sense of well being naturally.
Simply put, because the decades of emptiness and loneliness are unbearable...and yet inescapable unless we wish to take on even more abuse from others because we only ever attract abusive parties...and so we seek to distract ourselves from that pain. Consider my reality, I’m 48 and I have been an adult for 30-1/2 years now and, of those years, 30 have been spent living entirely alone devoid of relationships and most of those years largely, if not entirely, devoid of any friends either because my childhood was defined by many others abusing myself and then I made the awful mistake of attempting to date in early adulthood only to be faced with even more violence and abuse and once you realize that even those who would see you as worthy of love (something I can not see even in myself) seek to abuse you there really isn’t anywhere else to go but to isolate yourself from all the people you fear will just continue the abuse because so many in your life have been abusive towards you. So we desperately desire love and companionship but we have learned from repeated experience that such can only come at the expense of more abuse. I don’t know that I would survive much more abuse as it already destroyed my mental and physical health by the time I was 18 and left me permanently disabled, living with severe chronic pain and with Complex PTSD that I had to struggle with on my own for 30 years before I could find a therapist that I could trust enough not to abuse me in the same way those that came before her had. So we have a simple choice, numb ourselves by some means or commit suicide and those are the options many of us face (I left out the abuse that came 30 years ago when I made the terrible mistake of seeking therapy and that very nearly cost me my life years ago, so even therapy was no option). So, in short, we numb to stay alive even if we feel mostly dead. I’m not sure most viewers realize how incredibly recent even the concept of treating trauma is, and childhood trauma in particular (for a long time children were viewed as infinitely resilient and thus childhood trauma was of zero treatment concern - we were literally told that “you are an adult now, so you should just get over it”), so many of us had no treatment options and were left to cope as best we could for decades. But the concept of treating trauma was barely in its infancy in the 1990s and really didn’t become at all common or widespread until sometime well after the 2000s as it takes time for the newest batch of ,metal health professionals who were the first to be taught about developmental trauma to earn their degrees and get into actual practice...and even that only happens after educators finally get on board with teaching their students about childhood trauma and that took time too.
My former therapist always called me on it whenever I got too caught up in my thoughts rather than my feelings. I did it without even realizing it, and I did it all the time. She would ask me how I was feeling and I would answer, "I keep thinking that..." One time I brought up a difficult subject and started talking about the logic of the situation and my reaction, and she straight up cut me off with, "Jeremy, stop talking." I'd been working with her for years, so this was totally fine and I knew what she was doing. Of course the minute I actually paid attention to how I was feeling, I started crying (which I hate doing because I don't like to feel things that intensely or display that level of vulnerability, so much so that I will often physically resist the need to cry). I'm trying to train myself out of negating my emotions in therapy by always saying, "I know it's not logical, but I feel like..." After the fifth time I'd done that with my new therapist (in three sessions, mind you) he told me, "Okay, but feelings aren't logic, so forget about that." And it really struck a chord with me.
Thanks for identifying unhealthy coping mechanisms. When the video ended, I thought, "But what are the ALTERNATIVES to them? Why didn't she suggest ways OUT of resorting to these behaviors rather than just identifying them?!?" PLEASE make THAT video.
That is the hard part I guess... The alternative is to feel the feelings en work through them... As Kati shortly mentioned, try to talk about how you feel, and make a connection. It is going to take some work for me, and it is going to be hard, but together we can do it! :)
On many occasions, I have felt that people were angry with me. I would obsess about it and try to figure out why. I finally came to the conclusion that it was ME who was angry with the person. I have since learned to check in with myself and the person I am having these feelings about.
Oh my gods... Intellectualisation is definitely me. I always try to figure out how to fix things and get upset when people don't want to. I also tend to project, but I can admit and acknowledge that it's because that's been used on me a lot.
I think the first step is realizing that you’re doing it. Then, once you start noticing yourself doing it, you can try to stop overthinking everything and actually deal with how your feeling. I’m not very good at it yet but practice makes better (because no one is perfect)
When we see a therapist we can be helped to explore the feelings and situations we may have understandably not been able to deal with and face, in a SAFE environment which is really important. I hope you get the chance to do that. All care meant. x
I’ve always felt awkward because I don’t use any of these defense mechanisms. My go to is isolation. If I’m upset I will cut off everyone and everything that made me hurt. I will lock myself up in my apartment and refuse to talk to anyone until I am “ready.” And that usually means that someone reached out to me enough to finally get me to talk or I snap out of it. I really need to get better at communicating, it just scares me.
Intellectualising. I do that all the time! Just recently I went through a really big crisis and I came up with this 6 point plan of how we were going to change things. I went into robot mode, I became all clinical and harsh, and one of my support people noticed and said "It's okay to be emotional right now. This is happening to you, you're not just dealing with another client." I kind of felt like my feelings got sent into a helium balloon up into the air until I had dealt with all the practical stuff, and then once the plan was in place, I got to a therapy session and I was given the space and the permission to feel the feelings, and given some tools to stay grounded when those feelings came up at home.
When I feel something isn't right, my first reaction is to cut all social interaction with the people that love and care about me. It's hurtful to them and to me - I don't feel I have the strength to go and see people for help even when they reach out to me yet I can see they want to help. I'm working on it but the journey is hard and long, especially when it's so 'easy' for my mind to combat things around me like this.
Projection sucks. I've been in situations very similar. I really try to calm myself and not let myself get carried away. I'll focus on just trying to relax and enjoy the atmosphere, listen to the music ( if any) basically just go with it even if i dont know anyone at all. I try to enjoy and focus on the simple things.😊
Reflection is the most powerful tool to figure out why we're behaving the way we are. It's one of the first steps you need to take to make any significant change.
Hey Kati! Would love a video on you talking about emotional intelligence - why people have better or lack EI? How to improve it & how it benefits you in relationships etc.
Hi Kati. Wow, today's video was sensational. Everyone has defense mechanisms and by defining them, you have opened my eyes to how I react to my environment. I will try to be more cognizant in the future. Thank you so much for covering this topic!
I never even knew intellectualization was a thing... now I know what to call it😅 thank you kati... oh and what do you call it when you laugh at everything?
Kati, I just wanna say, you look your absolute best here! Yellows, bright pinks, oranges, and lime green all look so amazing on you. You have a true vibrant spring complexion and this top is so flattering on you!
My defense mechanism is building a concrete wall around myself. I never let anyone know ever how emotionally damaged I am because I fear judgment, cynicism or unsolicited advice (all of which I've faced when opening up at some point). They all think I'm happy and my life is perfect. I reserve my true feelings for only my siblings.
Every time I have a panic attack I always have an “out of body experience” I always describe it as “sleep walking” but no one understands what I mean because it’s hard to explain :/ you’re the best! Thank you so much ❤️
Rachel Wyatt I do that too, it’s called Dissociation. There are several different kinds other then DID, like Depersonalization/ Derealization. I describe it as if I was watching a movie but the sound & picture don’t quite match. Check out Kati’s playlist on Disassociation Disorders! ua-cam.com/play/PL_loxoCVsWqy8NqveX22SsMKlW5601YvQ.html
Learning gentle honesty is a key tool. Being seen by ourselves as worthy of growth and accepting our flaws as part of being human and of being able to bring to consciousness in safety.
Hey Kati I know this is my second time commenting on this video. But..something just came up. So this is a big mouth full. So when I was 13 back in October I got sent to counseling because the school found out about my self harm. They called my mom, and my mom immediately sent me to counseling. Also if I didn’t go then the school would call CPS. I wasn’t quite ready to go, and through the whole process I didn’t get better because I just wasn’t ready to talk about everything. That’s way besides the point. Anyways my mom caught me in my room crying around 1:00am about two weeks, and I just said I was really depressed. She asked if I wanted to go back to counseling, and I said yes. She said she would call them the next day, and he called them and they said they would call back. Today I asked her if they called back, and she said, “No Why?” Then we went back and forth, not really getting anywhere. Then she was like don’t you think this is something you can work through on your own?? And I’m absolutely dead terrified of talking about this stuff to my mom, and so I was like ya I guess. So my main question is, “ how do I get her to take me seriously?” I feel like she keeps denying that I’m sick. I also feel like I only can get her attention if I start self harming again. There are also many other things that I have going on other than depression like Ed, trauma, bpd....not meaning to self diagnose but I’m almost positive I have it, add, and exdra.
Darriene Todd it’s really hard for parents to admit something is wrong w/ their child. Best thing u can do is get back into therapy. Really push going to therapy and keep asking if they called back. If you’re mom doesn’t follow through, u can call the therapist yourself or talk to someone at the school about getting back into therapy
i start laughing and joking in super stressful situations, use a lot of sarcasm and passive agressive jokes, too. I know NOW that it isn't healthy (i am in DBT at the moment), but in the darkest moments it really helped me cope.
I am struggling with my partner because of these defense mechanisms, at yesterday that became worse. Never needed a perfect timed video more then today. Thank you so much!
Kati, what an insightful video! This is what I really love about your channel: you help me understand myself and those around me better, allowing for healthy conversation and development. Your videos genuinely make people more understanding towards others. What a beautiful thing you're doing :)
1) The off switch. 2) The volume knob. 3) My kitty cats. 4) The scientific method. 5) James Thurber. 6) The Court Jester. 7) Dylan Moran. 8) Yes, Minister. 9) Dara O'Briain. 10) Sid Caesar. 11) Astrophysics. 12) Robert Sapolsky. These work for me.
I intellectualize a lot! It makes me feel capable, i didn’t realize it was a defense mechanism. I didn’t realize reaction formation was a thing! I learned to do that because my mom always made us give up things we love. So I learned to stop having hope or telling people about my true desires Dealing with repression right now. When the memories come back it seems like a dream but at the same time I know it’s real. I don’t want to tell anyone because I don’t think they’ll believe me.
I tend to hyper apologize when super upset. It's one of the worst defense mechanisms ever, but usually works because it gets whoever is upset with me to back off. I'm working on it by having to explain exactly what I'm apologizing for whenever I find myself acting out of it
Passive aggression is my family's favorite defense mechanism (including me). It's like a 24/7 thing. I do try to stop doing it, but usually I only notice right after I did it. And the rest of my family, well, they don't even know (or want to know) they're doing it
I'm glad you're giving out helpful tips and advice to everyone, and helping people be more aware of certain issues. Even though you said not to take any of your content as a substitute for professional services, its giving a lot of us an idea of what's going on with us, that we may not have seen or known how to deal with before. So it means a lot! Thank you Kati❣
I use #12 a lot!!! Mainly because when I Express myself in the household it's either taken as answering back or being dramatic and too sensitive, which is so frustrating because you just bottle it all up, and repress it and even project it too. Basically I've done everything in the list... 😭😭😭
I'm definitely not a professional, but from what I understand maladaptive day dreaming is basically a form of escape from reality, so at the very least I think they're similar.
I too have the same doubt but what I think is that mdd is a mild form of dissociation to cope with mild trauma like bullying in school constant critisism from caretakers and the real dissociation like depersonalization, Derealisation are severe form of dissociation for severe trauma like rape,war etc
It’s common for me to use like half of these because I live at home with mostly males that don’t want to hear about feelings. I use sublimation by giving myself cleaning jobs around the house as opposed to internally or externally confronting (talking about) my feelings. This is an example of a negative use of sublimation by being useful at home while ignoring tasks or feelings that shouldn’t be ignored.
Honestly I have been betrayed so much by family and not listened to that I don't even know if talking things out would help me anymore. Like for a mild example when I was a child if i asked my sister or mum to stop doing something, they wouldn't and would do it worse. It still happens. I feel like no one respects my boundaries and that I just don't deserve respect anymore.
Hi Kati. I didn't know I dissociated untill a few months ago when I was out with my therapist as part of my cbt and I come round with him asking if I was ok and if I was still in there. Love and luck to all from Louise in Wales Uk.......
I see a therapist who specialises in all forms of dissociation. From her and from documentaries and education programs with psychiatrists speaking about dissociating as a defence mechanism, unanimously the spoke about it as the healthiest form of protection in the situations it is first used and what is done at the time during stress (or abuse etc) which if not used would have caused the person 's mind to literally go insane and have much worse consequences. Yes it can later make those who repeat and develop chronic dissociation more vulnerable, but its super important for it to be dealt with by someone who is qualified and understands it properly and helps us to understand both its value and which parts no longer work for us. Please be careful from a fellow dissociating buddy :D From Uk too :D
Driving home after a DBT team meeting: I decided to lookup any new behavioral-based content and I come across your video - it was perfect! Exactly what I needed! I appreciate you ❤👍📚
intellectualization. I find myself saying in my head "let me not feel this until the logistics are figured and life calms down THEN i can feel and heal" but ive come to realize that ive compiling a collection of feelings and pushing them aside and NOT EVER GETTING TO THE CALM PART OF LIFE. life is always changing so you gotta feel it when it happens
Ha, you made me tear up at the end, with your kind words, I have been avoiding contacting someone that is important to me, I keep revising and writing down what I would say but it becomes a huge letter of anger and sadness so I dont do it, because I feel like it would be a burden to him to hear all of me out , because he has a separate family and all, I guess just simple talks would do, but I become sad when I contact him, knowing that he will not be there for me through and through so I dont.. He doesnt contact me either which makes me upset also...When I was a kid I didnt process what was happening so many years later I keep realizing the hole that have burrowed inside of me. As if I’m experiencing the separation all over again. Divorce is no joke, I keep feeling more miserable when I think about all those happy or sad times he wasnt there. I hope I’ll get some closure some day. And not feel like a piece of shit ( I hope I’ll learn to love myself also...)
Intellectualisation is a huge one for me. I analyze my problems 148 ways to Sunday and try to figure out how to "fix it" even if the problem isn't really controllable.
The one about intellectualization is interesting. The trouble is, as someone suffering from chronic anxiety, I probably go to intellectualization, because until I settle the nuts and bolts of a situation (what happens next, etc.), I can't go about processing my feelings. For example, to use your divorce example, I would have a really hard time grieving over the relationship when so much is up in the air, when I don't know who gets what and where I'm going to live. Those are kind of immediate concerns, first level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid. I can either work, do stuff that needs to be accomplished, or feel my feelings; I cannot do both.
Nice feeling when you realise that you are the superb combination of displacement, intellectualisation, dissociation, passive aggression and a little bit of projection 🤦🏼♀️
I used Denial when my doctor wanted me to get checked by a neuro because of my balance. I have MS, but this was prior to my diagnosis, my dad also has MS. I developed a hand tremor and with that something told me it was MS. But if I didn’t go to my neuro, he couldn’t run tests and couldn’t tell me that I have MS so it wasn’t real... denial. Most of my childhood is repressed. I remember so little of it. I overcompensate a lot, I throw myself into my job (especially teaching) so no one asks about my mental health. Reaction forming... yup. All the time. Sublimation has been an absolute lifesaver for me. Quite literally. I dissociate more often than not. And passive aggression is something I worked on all last week in therapy. I do it a lot, and realized that I’m the one who gets hurt with passive aggression. I’m working on being the opposite, assertive. That’s been a lifelong battle.
So I like to think of bad coping skills as my thing that I'm really really good at, so good that no one on the outside notices that C-PTSD has completely controlled my life since I was like 8.... 31 now and about to start EMDR really excited/dreading it lol :)
I dunno mine, but when I was little(I was 7 when I started and I stopped at 12), I played with barbies. I wasn't playing witb barbies and dolls cuz they were cool. I was playing the situations out that I had to deal with(i have a really problematic and toxic family) so I was playing with dolls to cope with what happened to me. It took me to another unproblematic world.
I don't use that many defense mechanisms - watches video... Oh MY Gosh- I use almost all of these to different degrees. (Not all- but nearly) - along with the laughing someone mentioned in a comment - and here I thought, all I used was a little 'avoidance' & laughter. Goes to show ya.
I love your videos. Would love to see an interview with Sean about what it's like to be the spouse of a therapist. Does he feel like every conversation is a therapy session? Does he feel like it's a nightmare of constantly second guessing his every word and deed, always wondering, "Is she analyzing me right now?"
Thanks for this video! God, I use so many of these and some I didn't have a name for. Now I can honestly work with my therapist to start coping in a more healthy way with things.
Repression = making a story of excuses for my terrible family in early life. Who then got rid of me. At age 5. No, that's a lot of denial, trauma and repressed rage. I raged as a small child whenever my father walked away from me, and THAT was a correct and valid response.
By the way Kati seeing these things clearly makes me feel more 'normal' and OK, like I can actually handle life better than I previously imagined I could.
Love this topic and the way you bring about relatable examples. So helpful to be able to do homework from this Kati! Loved the ‘No’ from Sean! Haha. you guys truly make this world a better place.
Hi Kati. We've already heard about them, but this video made us understand defense mechanisms more. Now I think there is a pretty related topic on this - the Automatic Thoughts or Cognitive Distortions, usually discussed in Cognitive therapy. I think it's a great video idea. 😊
I think I experienced some type of derealization once. I was living through a super weird mix of high pressure/expectations and feeling really overlooked and . . . steamrolled? If that makes sense. . . . I was living on the brink of exhaustion; everyone around me seemed to see me as a blank slate to throw projects at, but otherwise I was pretty much invisible. So then I started feeling like, wherever I went, I was about three feet outside of the room . . . I was never quite where I was . . . never quite anywhere. I felt like I was being pushed out of my body -- maybe even out of the universe itself. Like, one day I just wouldn't exist anymore, maybe wouldn't ever have existed, and nobody would even remember I had been there. So, yeah . . . not even a super derealized derealization, but . . . plenty of room for terror.
@@eyesofthecervino3366 That sounds like some derealization. I once felt like I was a ghost walking the halls and that no one could see me. I felt like the world wasn't real, it was in my head. I thought my mind was going to float away from my body and I would be left in the dark, alone, forever. Scary stuff.
I've had this sensation that I have a real(er) body somewhere else, and all of this is an illusion. There is no exit, and I can't act to protect the source from whatever is happening to it.
Kati: I'm not American. About passive aggressiveness, I usually apologize when I know my actions have hurt someone even without they telling me. For most of my American colleagues, even when I let them know they are wrong, they don't apologize. So mostly, I just use passive aggressiveness or withdraw
Summary 1-Denial 2-Displacement (acting out towards someone else) 3-Intellectualisation (Wasting time searching and trying to understand instead of acknowledging emotionally) 4-Repression to subconscious (will come back up as flashbacks or bodily issues) 5-Projection (attributing our thoughts or feelings to someone else) 6-Overcompensation (doubling up on strengths, never addressing issues) 7-Regression (Acting out) 8-Reaction formation (Acting the reverse of genuine feelings) 9-Rationalisation (Coming up with excuses) 10-Sublimation (Channelling into something more acceptable, eg. doing violent sport to vent off) 11-Dissociation (Going to a dream world, seeing events as an outsider) 12-Passive-Aggression (Creating upsetting situations so called unintentionally, and not admitting) There are more... On the long run, not processing emotions will create issues. Communicate with yourself and people. Open to edits if asked.
Wonderful video, Kati! I'm on vacation from my 1st semester of Psychology, and this made me so excited for what I'll learn next. Lots of love from Brazil! :)
This is so helpful. We're studying defense mechanisms In psychology class and this is a really simple and clear explanation with clear examples and im so thankful for this personally and for class
Intellectualization , projection, regression, reaction formation, rationalization, dissociation are the ones I've always used growing up and currently. dissociation is the big one now that i'm working on because it's what i've been using the longest. I've been aware of the rationalization since my teen years so it isn't what I really use now, and I realized reaction formation and regression at some point earlier in college, but I never realized projection until recently (*that* hit me like a truck) and how communication is the key to seemingly *everything*
I want to call your attention to the fact that nothing is to good for YOU, no matter how great the thing may be, no matter how undeserving you may seem to be. You are entitled to the best there is, for it is your direct inheritance. So don't be afraid to ask, demand and take. The good things of the world are not the portion of any favored sons. They belong to all, but they come only to those who are wise enough to recognize that the good things are theirs by right, and who are sufficiently courageous to reach out for them.
I'm really close to someone who projects a lot. She will fall into depression or anger and then react to people as if they are also angry at her, even when they are not. It's extremely frustrating to be treated like I'm angry and aggressive towards her when I'm not.
Kati Morton Thank you for talking about this. I don't really understand Defense Mechanisms; so I'm glad I watched this video. I even wrote them down so that I would remember them.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
:30 Clear Definition of Defense Mechanisms
2:45 Denial
3:22 Displacement
3:42 Intellectualization
4:17 Repression
5:06 Projection
5:49 Overcompensation
7:03 Regression
7:29 Reaction Formation
8:07 Rationalization
8:56 Sublimation
10:10 Dissociation
10:43 Passive Agression
11:31 Advice on how to avoid using these.
Helpful while making notes off this video 😁😅
thank you :)
Thank you
Great.
ANGEL
Hey Kati, can you make a video called "watch this if you're thinking about ending our life" ? Somedays I just need a nice video to watch and remember some resons not to give up
Vitoria Kipnis Kati already has a great video!!! ua-cam.com/video/6n3XEbloPRI/v-deo.html
That would be amazing.
It's so tiring fighting this isn't it. For me, I seem to compartmentalize the act of not doing it, reasons not to, what it will cause in my family, etc. Great suggestion!
Hi ! I had this situation 10 years ago, I can promise you suicide is not the answer !
You might feel bad and bored & stuck but you'll realize you needed time to find who you are and once you know, you will love and protect yourself :)
If cheesy movies and youtube videos doesn't do the trick, I suggest you turn on scary movies.
They're scientifically known to improve strength against stress & negativity, google it ;)
Altho keep yourself busy with creativity, at the end you feel great and more productive.
So how about you ask a friend or a relative to watch the Scream trilogy while eating HOMEMADE apple pie ?
If you're 100% alone like I was, you'll survive and enjoy anyway !
Vitoria Kipnis ya
Me: “Stressful situation”
Brain:
“PULL THE RIPCORD!!!!!”
Totally xD
NLP - Diese drei Buchstaben haben mein Leben ruiniert........
ungefähr genauso wie als ich im Jahre 2010 in ein Diakonia LAden reingerannt bin und von einem Verkäufer Scientology belabert wurde
Since I was debile!!!!
Oh, yes! Or...
Me:
- Oh, I know how to solve this problem!
Brain:
- I'd be a shame if you got a tension headache, that'd trigger a migraine 😈
PuuuuLl tHe lEvEr cROnk
@@miriam3848 SAME
Hey Kati. Can you make a video on how and why people are addicted to numbing (etc. Food. Social media. Working lots) (etc. Because they not living life as their true selves, not happy with life situation)?
plus using drugs
Zinnia27 yeah. Kind of comfort (good) vs numbing (getting in the way of life)
Absolutely! Something I've struggled with my whole life & am only now becoming aware of it
How much of compensating for lack is based simply on a misleading view of reality as we actually experience it? What I mean is what is observable when you don't project some idea or ideal on it and expect whatever it is to match your expectation, which of course, leads to an inevitable disappointment. It is like expecting things to last when change and impermanence is what the Universe does.
This can be a common and learned behavior in a culture that places primary value on acquisition of things and competition with others and considers behaviors and beliefs like that to be the most meaningful. That's something to explore for yourself with an open honest investigation, since there are many influences that can lead you to false assumptions about life and hence, there is suffering involved and the need to compensate for the perception of lack in place of the recognition and appreciation of what actually is right now and only now.
When you notice that the drives or ideas that revolve around the expectation of some ultimate and lasting satisfaction, (in whatever shape or form you define it) are not at all realistic or true, then you see that satisfaction and other states are temporary; they come and they go like everything does. Coming to terms with that can actually be more satisfying, (well, addiction is an issue here) because what you experience is actually internal reactions and then, satisfaction is also something you generate as a reaction or response to what you imagine or think will be satisfying. So, it is in your hands and maybe even a choice then to cultivate a sense of contentment and satisfaction naturally rather than artificially by way of people and objects. Obviously, nothing and nobody is going to actually do that for long and you are bound to be dissatisfied, otherwise.
Consider a sneeze. You can feel the sense of strong irritation as the sensation builds. Then, suddenly, you sneeze and there is a very pleasant sense of relief that then fades away. That's a simile for everything we experience when you pay attention. Why fool one's self by imagining a time or a place where, someday, when everything is right, it will all be okay, (as I imagine it) forever? That prevalent means of avoiding the flow in the present could really drive a person to compensate, overcompensate and even numb themselves as a futile attempt to avoid simply how experience functions.
It might take some practice or tenacity to really see how unsatisfactory life typically is, but doing so aligns you with the way of life and that can, conversely allow your mind and emotions to function more naturally and authentically. You have to find out for yourself because it is a matter of experience, not just knowing and ideas. Often, the acceptance, by way of inquiry, into the way things are actually functioning is very connecting and brings about a sense of well being naturally.
Simply put, because the decades of emptiness and loneliness are unbearable...and yet inescapable unless we wish to take on even more abuse from others because we only ever attract abusive parties...and so we seek to distract ourselves from that pain. Consider my reality, I’m 48 and I have been an adult for 30-1/2 years now and, of those years, 30 have been spent living entirely alone devoid of relationships and most of those years largely, if not entirely, devoid of any friends either because my childhood was defined by many others abusing myself and then I made the awful mistake of attempting to date in early adulthood only to be faced with even more violence and abuse and once you realize that even those who would see you as worthy of love (something I can not see even in myself) seek to abuse you there really isn’t anywhere else to go but to isolate yourself from all the people you fear will just continue the abuse because so many in your life have been abusive towards you. So we desperately desire love and companionship but we have learned from repeated experience that such can only come at the expense of more abuse. I don’t know that I would survive much more abuse as it already destroyed my mental and physical health by the time I was 18 and left me permanently disabled, living with severe chronic pain and with Complex PTSD that I had to struggle with on my own for 30 years before I could find a therapist that I could trust enough not to abuse me in the same way those that came before her had. So we have a simple choice, numb ourselves by some means or commit suicide and those are the options many of us face (I left out the abuse that came 30 years ago when I made the terrible mistake of seeking therapy and that very nearly cost me my life years ago, so even therapy was no option). So, in short, we numb to stay alive even if we feel mostly dead.
I’m not sure most viewers realize how incredibly recent even the concept of treating trauma is, and childhood trauma in particular (for a long time children were viewed as infinitely resilient and thus childhood trauma was of zero treatment concern - we were literally told that “you are an adult now, so you should just get over it”), so many of us had no treatment options and were left to cope as best we could for decades. But the concept of treating trauma was barely in its infancy in the 1990s and really didn’t become at all common or widespread until sometime well after the 2000s as it takes time for the newest batch of ,metal health professionals who were the first to be taught about developmental trauma to earn their degrees and get into actual practice...and even that only happens after educators finally get on board with teaching their students about childhood trauma and that took time too.
My former therapist always called me on it whenever I got too caught up in my thoughts rather than my feelings. I did it without even realizing it, and I did it all the time. She would ask me how I was feeling and I would answer, "I keep thinking that..." One time I brought up a difficult subject and started talking about the logic of the situation and my reaction, and she straight up cut me off with, "Jeremy, stop talking." I'd been working with her for years, so this was totally fine and I knew what she was doing. Of course the minute I actually paid attention to how I was feeling, I started crying (which I hate doing because I don't like to feel things that intensely or display that level of vulnerability, so much so that I will often physically resist the need to cry).
I'm trying to train myself out of negating my emotions in therapy by always saying, "I know it's not logical, but I feel like..." After the fifth time I'd done that with my new therapist (in three sessions, mind you) he told me, "Okay, but feelings aren't logic, so forget about that." And it really struck a chord with me.
"Not so healthy right?"
Shaun: no
haha sorry that was just so good :D
I love how Kati smiled childishly there.
My whole family use humor to cope with difficult or uncomfortable emotions. I would love to know more about this one. Great video Kati!
My whole country uses that :))
@@kedithmiaff are you brazilian??? Ajdkdgisj
@@alecojaleco nope hahaha
I guess it could be overcompensation or sublimation? I'm also interested in this. Like, when it's all shit, let's joke about it.
It is not healthy
Thanks for identifying unhealthy coping mechanisms. When the video ended, I thought, "But what are the ALTERNATIVES to them? Why didn't she suggest ways OUT of resorting to these behaviors rather than just identifying them?!?" PLEASE make THAT video.
That is the hard part I guess... The alternative is to feel the feelings en work through them... As Kati shortly mentioned, try to talk about how you feel, and make a connection.
It is going to take some work for me, and it is going to be hard, but together we can do it! :)
On many occasions, I have felt that people were angry with me. I would obsess about it and try to figure out why. I finally came to the conclusion that it was ME who was angry with the person. I have since learned to check in with myself and the person I am having these feelings about.
I started crying when you mentioned the "intellectualization" one because that's my main thing and I've never had a word for it before.
Same for me... I saw that coming though but I feel I might have cried a lot about it way before I know the actual word. =(
Oh my gods... Intellectualisation is definitely me. I always try to figure out how to fix things and get upset when people don't want to. I also tend to project, but I can admit and acknowledge that it's because that's been used on me a lot.
Ah you helped me realise part of why I project.thanks
Wow, just realized that I’ve been using intellectualization to avoid actually dealing with my feelings. Thank you Katie
I don't get how I can stop doing that
I think the first step is realizing that you’re doing it. Then, once you start noticing yourself doing it, you can try to stop overthinking everything and actually deal with how your feeling. I’m not very good at it yet but practice makes better (because no one is perfect)
When we see a therapist we can be helped to explore the feelings and situations we may have understandably not been able to deal with and face, in a SAFE environment which is really important. I hope you get the chance to do that. All care meant. x
i love how you seperate definitions with different colours. it helps me a lot to focus haha
My fav therapist Kati Morton! Thank you for educating us all on so many things!
Awe xoxo Of course :)
I’ve always felt awkward because I don’t use any of these defense mechanisms. My go to is isolation. If I’m upset I will cut off everyone and everything that made me hurt. I will lock myself up in my apartment and refuse to talk to anyone until I am “ready.” And that usually means that someone reached out to me enough to finally get me to talk or I snap out of it. I really need to get better at communicating, it just scares me.
Intellectualising.
I do that all the time!
Just recently I went through a really big crisis and I came up with this 6 point plan of how we were going to change things.
I went into robot mode, I became all clinical and harsh, and one of my support people noticed and said "It's okay to be emotional right now. This is happening to you, you're not just dealing with another client."
I kind of felt like my feelings got sent into a helium balloon up into the air until I had dealt with all the practical stuff, and then once the plan was in place, I got to a therapy session and I was given the space and the permission to feel the feelings, and given some tools to stay grounded when those feelings came up at home.
My amygdala must be working soo hard! Hope it doesn't burn out before I have worked through it
overworking to avoid talking about relationship/dating hit way too hard. I didn't even realize I was doing this until now, thank you.
How do you always know what I need to hear when I need it?
Ikr?
She's probably an INFJ. We can do telepathy........
Was just about to write the same thing!
When I feel something isn't right, my first reaction is to cut all social interaction with the people that love and care about me. It's hurtful to them and to me - I don't feel I have the strength to go and see people for help even when they reach out to me yet I can see they want to help. I'm working on it but the journey is hard and long, especially when it's so 'easy' for my mind to combat things around me like this.
Projection sucks. I've been in situations very similar. I really try to calm myself and not let myself get carried away. I'll focus on just trying to relax and enjoy the atmosphere, listen to the music ( if any) basically just go with it even if i dont know anyone at all. I try to enjoy and focus on the simple things.😊
Reflection is the most powerful tool to figure out why we're behaving the way we are. It's one of the first steps you need to take to make any significant change.
Hey Kati! Would love a video on you talking about emotional intelligence - why people have better or lack EI? How to improve it & how it benefits you in relationships etc.
Hi Kati. Wow, today's video was sensational. Everyone has defense mechanisms and by defining them, you have opened my eyes to how I react to my environment. I will try to be more cognizant in the future. Thank you so much for covering this topic!
I am so glad you liked it and found it helpful!! yay!! xoxo
I never even knew intellectualization was a thing... now I know what to call it😅 thank you kati... oh and what do you call it when you laugh at everything?
Elzanie Vorster omg I do that 😂😂😂😂
I was hoping she would mention this one too! I definitely use laughter as a defense mechanism.
She has a video talking about that - racking my brain to remember what it's called, it's in her 100's of videos somewhere lol
Ash G i think it’s called inappropriate reaction or inappropriate affect. Something like that lol
Elzanie Vorster this is such a common defensive mechanism there’s a saying for it. “laugh to keep from crying”
Kati, I just wanna say, you look your absolute best here! Yellows, bright pinks, oranges, and lime green all look so amazing on you. You have a true vibrant spring complexion and this top is so flattering on you!
My defense mechanism is building a concrete wall around myself. I never let anyone know ever how emotionally damaged I am because I fear judgment, cynicism or unsolicited advice (all of which I've faced when opening up at some point). They all think I'm happy and my life is perfect. I reserve my true feelings for only my siblings.
I typically dissociate, sublimate, regress, and project.
Every time I have a panic attack I always have an “out of body experience” I always describe it as “sleep walking” but no one understands what I mean because it’s hard to explain :/ you’re the best! Thank you so much ❤️
Rachel Wyatt I do that too, it’s called Dissociation. There are several different kinds other then DID, like Depersonalization/ Derealization. I describe it as if I was watching a movie but the sound & picture don’t quite match. Check out Kati’s playlist on Disassociation Disorders!
ua-cam.com/play/PL_loxoCVsWqy8NqveX22SsMKlW5601YvQ.html
Just hearing you say 'welcome cheers me up.
Wow this is so needed thank you so much! Your video is amazing and teaches everyone so much!
Learning gentle honesty is a key tool. Being seen by ourselves as worthy of growth and accepting our flaws as part of being human and of being able to bring to consciousness in safety.
Mine is over compensating, I get really into things and just say I'm busy even if I'm not
Thanks for sharing :) xoxo
Hey Kati I know this is my second time commenting on this video. But..something just came up. So this is a big mouth full. So when I was 13 back in October I got sent to counseling because the school found out about my self harm. They called my mom, and my mom immediately sent me to counseling. Also if I didn’t go then the school would call CPS. I wasn’t quite ready to go, and through the whole process I didn’t get better because I just wasn’t ready to talk about everything. That’s way besides the point. Anyways my mom caught me in my room crying around 1:00am about two weeks, and I just said I was really depressed. She asked if I wanted to go back to counseling, and I said yes. She said she would call them the next day, and he called them and they said they would call back. Today I asked her if they called back, and she said, “No Why?” Then we went back and forth, not really getting anywhere. Then she was like don’t you think this is something you can work through on your own?? And I’m absolutely dead terrified of talking about this stuff to my mom, and so I was like ya I guess. So my main question is, “ how do I get her to take me seriously?” I feel like she keeps denying that I’m sick. I also feel like I only can get her attention if I start self harming again. There are also many other things that I have going on other than depression like Ed, trauma, bpd....not meaning to self diagnose but I’m almost positive I have it, add, and exdra.
Darriene Todd it’s really hard for parents to admit something is wrong w/ their child. Best thing u can do is get back into therapy. Really push going to therapy and keep asking if they called back. If you’re mom doesn’t follow through, u can call the therapist yourself or talk to someone at the school about getting back into therapy
i start laughing and joking in super stressful situations, use a lot of sarcasm and passive agressive jokes, too. I know NOW that it isn't healthy (i am in DBT at the moment), but in the darkest moments it really helped me cope.
I am struggling with my partner because of these defense mechanisms, at yesterday that became worse. Never needed a perfect timed video more then today. Thank you so much!
you are so refreshing to watch... I feel like all my problems are resolved by simply being here
Kati, what an insightful video! This is what I really love about your channel: you help me understand myself and those around me better, allowing for healthy conversation and development. Your videos genuinely make people more understanding towards others. What a beautiful thing you're doing :)
Your videos help me see myself with compassion. Thank You!
hi kati!! i like your yellow, flowery shirt!!! i haven’t said it in a while but thank you as always for all that you do! :-)
Awe thanks!!! And of course! I am so happy to be a helpful resource :) xoxo
I love this !! You're like one of the nicest people kati !
Kati seems like someone who's mostly self-aware and that is awesome!
1) The off switch. 2) The volume knob. 3) My kitty cats. 4) The scientific method. 5) James Thurber. 6) The Court Jester. 7) Dylan Moran. 8) Yes, Minister. 9) Dara O'Briain. 10) Sid Caesar. 11) Astrophysics. 12) Robert Sapolsky. These work for me.
Absolutely great topic. Thanks.
I intellectualize a lot! It makes me feel capable, i didn’t realize it was a defense mechanism.
I didn’t realize reaction formation was a thing! I learned to do that because my mom always made us give up things we love. So I learned to stop having hope or telling people about my true desires
Dealing with repression right now. When the memories come back it seems like a dream but at the same time I know it’s real. I don’t want to tell anyone because I don’t think they’ll believe me.
Thank you Kati, I've never seen a list like this, and just realized I am the master of at least 11 of these, and am working at the full trifecta.
I tend to hyper apologize when super upset. It's one of the worst defense mechanisms ever, but usually works because it gets whoever is upset with me to back off. I'm working on it by having to explain exactly what I'm apologizing for whenever I find myself acting out of it
L K Kati talked about this in a great video a few months ago! ua-cam.com/video/3fCdT-EGUEc/v-deo.html
Passive aggression is my family's favorite defense mechanism (including me). It's like a 24/7 thing. I do try to stop doing it, but usually I only notice right after I did it. And the rest of my family, well, they don't even know (or want to know) they're doing it
tsukigalleta aww
Im in mental health of my nursing program right now and this is by far the most helpful video ever
I'm glad you're giving out helpful tips and advice to everyone, and helping people be more aware of certain issues. Even though you said not to take any of your content as a substitute for professional services, its giving a lot of us an idea of what's going on with us, that we may not have seen or known how to deal with before. So it means a lot! Thank you Kati❣
Excellent video! Very helpful!
I use #12 a lot!!! Mainly because when I Express myself in the household it's either taken as answering back or being dramatic and too sensitive, which is so frustrating because you just bottle it all up, and repress it and even project it too. Basically I've done everything in the list... 😭😭😭
Would you consider Maladaptive Daydreaming a form of dissociation?
I'm definitely not a professional, but from what I understand maladaptive day dreaming is basically a form of escape from reality, so at the very least I think they're similar.
maybe if you do it uncontrollably
I too have the same doubt but what I think is that mdd is a mild form of dissociation to cope with mild trauma like bullying in school constant critisism from caretakers and the real dissociation like depersonalization, Derealisation are severe form of dissociation for severe trauma like rape,war etc
It’s common for me to use like half of these because I live at home with mostly males that don’t want to hear about feelings. I use sublimation by giving myself cleaning jobs around the house as opposed to internally or externally confronting (talking about) my feelings. This is an example of a negative use of sublimation by being useful at home while ignoring tasks or feelings that shouldn’t be ignored.
Honestly I have been betrayed so much by family and not listened to that I don't even know if talking things out would help me anymore. Like for a mild example when I was a child if i asked my sister or mum to stop doing something, they wouldn't and would do it worse. It still happens. I feel like no one respects my boundaries and that I just don't deserve respect anymore.
Hi Kati. I didn't know I dissociated untill a few months ago when I was out with my therapist as part of my cbt and I come round with him asking if I was ok and if I was still in there. Love and luck to all from Louise in Wales Uk.......
I see a therapist who specialises in all forms of dissociation. From her and from documentaries and education programs with psychiatrists speaking about dissociating as a defence mechanism, unanimously the spoke about it as the healthiest form of protection in the situations it is first used and what is done at the time during stress (or abuse etc) which if not used would have caused the person 's mind to literally go insane and have much worse consequences. Yes it can later make those who repeat and develop chronic dissociation more vulnerable, but its super important for it to be dealt with by someone who is qualified and understands it properly and helps us to understand both its value and which parts no longer work for us. Please be careful from a fellow dissociating buddy :D From Uk too :D
Driving home after a DBT team meeting: I decided to lookup any new behavioral-based content and I come across your video - it was perfect! Exactly what I needed! I appreciate you ❤👍📚
Hope and Grace Welcome to the Community!
I am sweating, is it normal to have experience with every single one of those defense mechanisms? And I mean, a *lot* of experiences?
Whether or not it's normal, at least now you know and you can start working on it!
intellectualization. I find myself saying in my head "let me not feel this until the logistics are figured and life calms down THEN i can feel and heal" but ive come to realize that ive compiling a collection of feelings and pushing them aside and NOT EVER GETTING TO THE CALM PART OF LIFE. life is always changing so you gotta feel it when it happens
Ha, you made me tear up at the end, with your kind words, I have been avoiding contacting someone that is important to me, I keep revising and writing down what I would say but it becomes a huge letter of anger and sadness so I dont do it, because I feel like it would be a burden to him to hear all of me out , because he has a separate family and all, I guess just simple talks would do, but I become sad when I contact him, knowing that he will not be there for me through and through so I dont.. He doesnt contact me either which makes me upset also...When I was a kid I didnt process what was happening so many years later I keep realizing the hole that have burrowed inside of me. As if I’m experiencing the separation all over again. Divorce is no joke, I keep feeling more miserable when I think about all those happy or sad times he wasnt there. I hope I’ll get some closure some day. And not feel like a piece of shit ( I hope I’ll learn to love myself also...)
Intellectualization is my go-to mechanism LOL! I look into the facts and details so much I get nothing done!
Your camera quality in your videos is what i live for
I take my anger out on Sean
It’s not good, is it..?
Sean:......Nö
Thanks for this Kati!
Intellectualisation is a huge one for me. I analyze my problems 148 ways to Sunday and try to figure out how to "fix it" even if the problem isn't really controllable.
My name is Chandler Bing, I make jokes when I'm unconfortable
Actually that's a coping mechanism and a reaction formation defense mechanism at the same time.
Is overpreparing a defence mechanism?
Thank you for explaining all these defence mechanisms Kati! Especially giving examples is really helpful!
Hey Kati,
Id just like to say I love your videos and they are super helpful 😊
Hope you're having an amazing start to your week!!
The one about intellectualization is interesting. The trouble is, as someone suffering from chronic anxiety, I probably go to intellectualization, because until I settle the nuts and bolts of a situation (what happens next, etc.), I can't go about processing my feelings. For example, to use your divorce example, I would have a really hard time grieving over the relationship when so much is up in the air, when I don't know who gets what and where I'm going to live. Those are kind of immediate concerns, first level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid. I can either work, do stuff that needs to be accomplished, or feel my feelings; I cannot do both.
Nice feeling when you realise that you are the superb combination of displacement, intellectualisation, dissociation, passive aggression and a little bit of projection 🤦🏼♀️
I used Denial when my doctor wanted me to get checked by a neuro because of my balance. I have MS, but this was prior to my diagnosis, my dad also has MS. I developed a hand tremor and with that something told me it was MS. But if I didn’t go to my neuro, he couldn’t run tests and couldn’t tell me that I have MS so it wasn’t real... denial.
Most of my childhood is repressed. I remember so little of it.
I overcompensate a lot, I throw myself into my job (especially teaching) so no one asks about my mental health.
Reaction forming... yup. All the time.
Sublimation has been an absolute lifesaver for me. Quite literally.
I dissociate more often than not.
And passive aggression is something I worked on all last week in therapy. I do it a lot, and realized that I’m the one who gets hurt with passive aggression. I’m working on being the opposite, assertive. That’s been a lifelong battle.
So I like to think of bad coping skills as my thing that I'm really really good at, so good that no one on the outside notices that C-PTSD has completely controlled my life since I was like 8.... 31 now and about to start EMDR really excited/dreading it lol :)
Katie Wheeler You got this! ❤️
I dunno mine, but when I was little(I was 7 when I started and I stopped at 12), I played with barbies. I wasn't playing witb barbies and dolls cuz they were cool. I was playing the situations out that I had to deal with(i have a really problematic and toxic family) so I was playing with dolls to cope with what happened to me. It took me to another unproblematic world.
I don't use that many defense mechanisms - watches video... Oh MY Gosh- I use almost all of these to different degrees. (Not all- but nearly) - along with the laughing someone mentioned in a comment - and here I thought, all I used was a little 'avoidance' & laughter. Goes to show ya.
I love your videos. Would love to see an interview with Sean about what it's like to be the spouse of a therapist. Does he feel like every conversation is a therapy session? Does he feel like it's a nightmare of constantly second guessing his every word and deed, always wondering, "Is she analyzing me right now?"
Thanks for this video! God, I use so many of these and some I didn't have a name for. Now I can honestly work with my therapist to start coping in a more healthy way with things.
This is one of your best videos lately! Thank you Kati!
Repression = making a story of excuses for my terrible family in early life. Who then got rid of me. At age 5.
No, that's a lot of denial, trauma and repressed rage. I raged as a small child whenever my father walked away from me, and THAT was a correct and valid response.
By the way Kati seeing these things clearly makes me feel more 'normal' and OK, like I can actually handle life better than I previously imagined I could.
Love this topic and the way you bring about relatable examples. So helpful to be able to do homework from this Kati! Loved the ‘No’ from Sean! Haha. you guys truly make this world a better place.
Hi Kati. We've already heard about them, but this video made us understand defense mechanisms more. Now I think there is a pretty related topic on this - the Automatic Thoughts or Cognitive Distortions, usually discussed in Cognitive therapy. I think it's a great video idea. 😊
Derealisation isn;t always a safer feeling, it can be utterly terrifying.
@@RobespierreThePoof I have gotten terror from it. Now that I know what it is, I don't get the terror. sometimes I appreciate it when it sets in.
I think I experienced some type of derealization once. I was living through a super weird mix of high pressure/expectations and feeling really overlooked and . . . steamrolled? If that makes sense. . . . I was living on the brink of exhaustion; everyone around me seemed to see me as a blank slate to throw projects at, but otherwise I was pretty much invisible.
So then I started feeling like, wherever I went, I was about three feet outside of the room . . . I was never quite where I was . . . never quite anywhere. I felt like I was being pushed out of my body -- maybe even out of the universe itself. Like, one day I just wouldn't exist anymore, maybe wouldn't ever have existed, and nobody would even remember I had been there.
So, yeah . . . not even a super derealized derealization, but . . . plenty of room for terror.
@@eyesofthecervino3366 That sounds like some derealization. I once felt like I was a ghost walking the halls and that no one could see me. I felt like the world wasn't real, it was in my head. I thought my mind was going to float away from my body and I would be left in the dark, alone, forever. Scary stuff.
I've had this sensation that I have a real(er) body somewhere else, and all of this is an illusion. There is no exit, and I can't act to protect the source from whatever is happening to it.
@@Acetyl53 That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.
Kati: I'm not American. About passive aggressiveness, I usually apologize when I know my actions have hurt someone even without they telling me. For most of my American colleagues, even when I let them know they are wrong, they don't apologize. So mostly, I just use passive aggressiveness or withdraw
Repression & Dissociation the most used mechanism for me 💔
Just watched this video for class and was greatly surprised by how much information I learned ! Thanks :)
Summary
1-Denial
2-Displacement (acting out towards someone else)
3-Intellectualisation (Wasting time searching and trying to understand instead of acknowledging emotionally)
4-Repression to subconscious (will come back up as flashbacks or bodily issues)
5-Projection (attributing our thoughts or feelings to someone else)
6-Overcompensation (doubling up on strengths, never addressing issues)
7-Regression (Acting out)
8-Reaction formation (Acting the reverse of genuine feelings)
9-Rationalisation (Coming up with excuses)
10-Sublimation (Channelling into something more acceptable, eg. doing violent sport to vent off)
11-Dissociation (Going to a dream world, seeing events as an outsider)
12-Passive-Aggression (Creating upsetting situations so called unintentionally, and not admitting)
There are more...
On the long run, not processing emotions will create issues. Communicate with yourself and people.
Open to edits if asked.
Thanks Kati for narrowing them down to twelve...BTW, I thoroughly appreciate your snappy kick-in-the-pants style!
Wonderful video, Kati! I'm on vacation from my 1st semester of Psychology, and this made me so excited for what I'll learn next. Lots of love from Brazil! :)
Love the topic! You explained it really well and the examples were very relatable!
Thanks kati!
You are truly amazing. I just hope someday I can help and inspire others like you do! 💗
Good video, I think I've used all of those at one time or another...
Hi, can you do a video about the negative side effects of the birth control pill on our mental health?
This was really helpful. Can you do a series where you focus on each of the defense mechanisms? And something on cognitive distortions?
Q
This is so helpful. We're studying defense mechanisms In psychology class and this is a really simple and clear explanation with clear examples and im so thankful for this personally and for class
Intellectualization
, projection, regression, reaction formation, rationalization, dissociation are the ones I've always used growing up and currently. dissociation is the big one now that i'm working on because it's what i've been using the longest. I've been aware of the rationalization since my teen years so it isn't what I really use now, and I realized reaction formation and regression at some point earlier in college, but I never realized projection until recently (*that* hit me like a truck) and how communication is the key to seemingly *everything*
I want to call your attention to the fact that nothing is to good for YOU, no matter how great the thing may be, no matter how undeserving you may seem to be. You are entitled to the best there is, for it is your direct inheritance. So don't be afraid to ask, demand and take. The good things of the world are not the portion of any favored sons. They belong to all, but they come only to those who are wise enough to recognize that the good things are theirs by right, and who are sufficiently courageous to reach out for them.
I'm really close to someone who projects a lot. She will fall into depression or anger and then react to people as if they are also angry at her, even when they are not. It's extremely frustrating to be treated like I'm angry and aggressive towards her when I'm not.
I’m so glad your channel exists. Thank you for your work, Kati
Kati Morton Thank you for talking about this. I don't really understand Defense Mechanisms; so I'm glad I watched this video. I even wrote them down so that I would remember them.
I learned about this in psych class!
Also first comment :))
Yay!! xoxo