I'm glad she was able to turn her life around. However, let us not champion these stories. But let us teach and encourage healthy practices before marriage. Teach our daughters what to look for in marriage candidate(s) and our sons proper man/husband/father etiquette. Their story was on shaky grounds from the start. And she was in fantasy land crying to be with him before marriage. Props to the sister for her will to succeed but it could have been avoided from the beginning.
Nej muaj hmoo ces ces nej mus nyob rau lub teb chaw zoo vaj huam sib luag khwv Tau sib nrawg ho peb cov poj niam nyob sab teb chaw no ces tseem raug tsuj caij coob kawg li os
In the Hmong community, you can have the purest heart and tried for years and sacrifice your feelings to try to make it work and his family will never see it. Like they can’t just wait for the nyab to choose herself to pin their sons fault on the nyab. So glad she got out!
Me niam hluas aw yus hmoov phem2 ces yus thiaj raug neeg tsim txom os koj thiab kuv wb rau ib sab khau xwb os thaum kuv quaj txaus kua muag tu tsis los lawm ces kawg yus ua tus nrauj nws li ko xwb tiag zoo siab rau koj lub neej tshiab os
Best advice to everyone is, if your marriage isn't working and you have tried and given your all into it, it's time to walk away from it. Especially if it's toxic and full of abuse. Doesn't matter if you have children or not. Remember, your life doesn't end there. Your self-worth is more than that. Love yourself, respect yourself.
Im proud of you for standing up for yourself and your son. He doesn't deserve you. I don't like Hmong culture way of handling marriage issues. Its ok for him to have niam yau and he doesn't have to take responsibility for you and the family, but if you have a bf, it's suddenly all your fault and you have to take responsibility. This is how Hmong culture encourages Hmong men to have more rights and more egoes. I'm glad you teach him a lesson that you will never accept those behaviors.
So sorry for your suffocating life. So happy that our Hmong ladies start fighting the animal rules. In this country we have good laws. Do not compromise to our tradition. It doesn't work. let's the laws fix our cultures. So our Hmong ladies can live a happy life.
Your ex husband could have gone to jail because you were under age and he was 24. Txiv neej siab phem li Koj niag txiv no nyuam qhuav ntxim tsis tau zog noj. Qhov zoo ces twb vim muaj nws tsim koj thiab Koj thiaj tu siab raws koj txoj kev npau suav mus kawm college. Yog nws hlub koj heev ntshe Koj ib sij ib tug me nyuam Koj twb tsis xaiv kev kawm. Be happy for what you e accomplished. I’m very proud of you.
There is no justice for Hmong women because Hmong people function in a patriarchal culture that gives Hmong men to the power to abuse women physically, emotionally or psychologically. I am so proud of this sister for advocating for her happiness and needs. She deserved someone who truly loves her. It was his loss for not being a responsible man/husband.
He only wants u now bc you're successful and have money, not bc he loves u. He knows if he chooses u, he will be financially better off than with his 2nd wife. I'm glad u didn't fall for his lies again.
WOW! I'm so proud of you for making the sacrifice to stay when you needed to & pursued your education! You're an amazing person! I agree with you that Hmong's stupid rule of you paying to save their face is a bunch of BS! You're a good woman to pay them off, I would have resort to the law.
Your ex-husband is an indecisive child. He only stops you because you have some education degrees and better than his 2nd wife. His family is wrong to ask for a refund, and so is yours. Glad you found love greater and moved on. You deserve better!!
Sister you doing good job. But you let the old g push you to the edge. Their is not law you have to reimbursement to your mother and father inlaw , that bushey stupidly forces you.
No need to deal with Hmong people. Divorce him and his family and move on to find someone who will love you…glade that you did. I support your decision and lecturing the 2 clans what they said to you, sister. Bad culture practices 👎! Wish you the best…!
Wow! Absolutely satisfying story to listen to. It's worth every minute of it. So proud of you, sister! I wish every miserable marriage out there has a happy ending like yours!
Sister, you don’t meditate through Hmong people, there’s no justice in the Hmong system. If you are a woman, you lose no matter the situation. We seek justice in western court!
Sister, if your story is true, you should not have to pay your in - laws, kwv tij and neej tsa to get divorced. Just walk out. You don’t owe these people anything!
I absolutely love stories like this one because it gives us divorce/single mom to encourage ourselves to move forward to new beginnings instead of staying the this old lazy fast only chasing Low scums like himself. Thank you sister, you are a inspiration to the world.
Hmong law will never work for women because it’s kwv Tig (men) and neej Cha (men). Men support men. In situations like this I wish there were “Women representation” but instead help give fair trial for women, wives are afraid to talk because wives bring shame to our husband or neej Cha. So sad….😢
This is the 21st century, we go to the courts and use American Law. You only endure this type of abuse if you are very Hmong. When we women mention law enforcement, and threaten kwv tij and neej tsa with the law of the U.S, they will let go of the harassment of belittling you into staying in that abusive marriage.
🎉nrog koj tusiab kawg uas koj yuav tau ib tug txiv dev txiv aub neeg siab tsiaj xwb es ntshe koj yog neeg npam pob kavtsij nrauj kiag xwb mas we are in the usa not in laos anymore girl.
What NOT corrupt about Hmong kev cai? You’re expecting justice and rightnesses from a group that allowed him to have two wives? Everyone all of a sudden have something to say when they can get some money lol
Koj niag txiv qub ces ua li tej laus hais os suav cwj ntas ob tog plam li tej lau nej hniaj hais dab neeg ntag laub yom nyuam qhuav cua kom nws Txhob muaj ib lub neej kom tag tiam no mas
So glad you found your worth and all that you deserve in a blessed life. All the rest don't matter. His gift box he gave to you as a wedding gift was a reflection of his own failure as a husband and hopefully, a closure to his guilty conscience. Turns out his guilty conscience is still lingering like a bad taste in his mouth that he can't rid of. And here you are, moved on in life. Doesn't matter who you are, always stand up for yourself and what feels right for you so that you can live a life worth living. You owe it to yourself.
Usually and normally, in our Hmong culture only the person at fault would pay something to settle a problem. The fact that both your husband's clan and your clan agreed for you to pay was something. Sounds like there was something hidden on your part - I'm not saying you are totally at fault but it's more like "zoo sib xws". You paid because you wanted to get out and probably not enough cause for you to leave. In real life if we are totally innocent we and our clan wouldn't settle for what is not right.
What a waste of 10 years of your life to live with a husband that holds someone else in their bed every night, I feel so bad for you. It must of been so lonely and sad. I’m glad you have moved on and found someone who deserves your love.
If i were u i would never pay them. You married him for 10+ years, gave him a child, lived with them, cooked and cleaned for them. The dowry money was worth the time u lived and suffered for them already. But i know u only did it to ua twm them too.
Ho ! Zaj dabneeg no tusiab kawg thaum pib tabsis thaum kawg kuj rog koj zoo siab heev. Sibsib hlub nawb mog. Niam no ces koj niag qub txiv twb yog homless lawm os.
Koj hais yog lawm Hmoob Ruam22 Hmoob txoj Cai ces yog Dev Npua Cai xwb oS.
Kwv tij txoj kev ntshaws nyiaj neejtsa txoj kev tsav hwjchim yog kev cai ruam xwb tsi muaj qabhau dabtsi li vim yog kevcai quab yuam xwb yuav tsum tau hloov nawb kwvtij hmoob.
So proud of you! You had a bitter life with that heartless man, but so happy your life is happier now! Live a good life...
I'm glad she was able to turn her life around. However, let us not champion these stories. But let us teach and encourage healthy practices before marriage. Teach our daughters what to look for in marriage candidate(s) and our sons proper man/husband/father etiquette. Their story was on shaky grounds from the start. And she was in fantasy land crying to be with him before marriage. Props to the sister for her will to succeed but it could have been avoided from the beginning.
Thank you for sharing your life story ; thanks God , you are finally free from the cages….
Hmoob lub siab yeej tsi ncaj ncees os. Zoo qhov Vajtswv coj peb tuaj nyob rau lub teb chaw no. Peb thiaj dim Hmoob txoj niag kev caj tsuj pojniam lawm..
Nej muaj hmoo ces ces nej mus nyob rau lub teb chaw zoo vaj huam sib luag khwv Tau sib nrawg ho peb cov poj niam nyob sab teb chaw no ces tseem raug tsuj caij coob kawg li os
So thankfull
You go girl!! So proud of you!! Have a happy life. ❤❤
I'm so glad you found the strength to leave that loveless marriage and found happiness.
As a husband I honestly dislike the Hmong system. It’s does not provide justice to majority of the women.
In the Hmong community, you can have the purest heart and tried for years and sacrifice your feelings to try to make it work and his family will never see it. Like they can’t just wait for the nyab to choose herself to pin their sons fault on the nyab. So glad she got out!
You are an amazing woman, your husband deserves every thing he gets. Be happy now.
Yes, Yog Tus Lawm Tsis Hlub Mas Ua Neeg Tu2 Siab Os!! 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Me niam hluas aw yus hmoov phem2 ces yus thiaj raug neeg tsim txom os koj thiab kuv wb rau ib sab khau xwb os thaum kuv quaj txaus kua muag tu tsis los lawm ces kawg yus ua tus nrauj nws li ko xwb tiag zoo siab rau koj lub neej tshiab os
Mee koj ntxim hlub tiag li yuav hlub yuav hlub tsis dhuav noj tsis nntxaus li. Koij ma
Hlub kv ma
Best advice to everyone is, if your marriage isn't working and you have tried and given your all into it, it's time to walk away from it. Especially if it's toxic and full of abuse. Doesn't matter if you have children or not. Remember, your life doesn't end there. Your self-worth is more than that. Love yourself, respect yourself.
Well said.
niam laus kuv mloog kj cov dab neeg thov kuv quaj quaj li xwb es pua kam tham kuv neej rau kuv mloog thiab o
Yep!! If you don’t appreciate what you have. When they change their mind. There’s no turning back.
Kv nrog kj zoo siab vim kj mus tau lub neej tshiab lawm o
Wow txaus tu siab kawg os txiv neej siab phem na….
Me ntxhais aw twb kawm ntawv siab2 li koj es txhob mus hais ntawm hmoob os hmoob ces hais kom lawv zoo xwb yog tsis sib haum sib yuav tsis tau lawm ces mus rau txoj cai Nyob teb chaws no xwb koj thiaj tsis poob nyiaj rau cov ntsej muag ntshaw nyiaj naw thiab thiaj ncaj rau peb cov poj niam ua lawv tsis hlub na!
Im proud of you for standing up for yourself and your son. He doesn't deserve you. I don't like Hmong culture way of handling marriage issues. Its ok for him to have niam yau and he doesn't have to take responsibility for you and the family, but if you have a bf, it's suddenly all your fault and you have to take responsibility. This is how Hmong culture encourages Hmong men to have more rights and more egoes. I'm glad you teach him a lesson that you will never accept those behaviors.
So sorry for your suffocating life. So happy that our Hmong ladies start fighting the animal rules. In this country we have good laws. Do not compromise to our tradition. It doesn't work. let's the laws fix our cultures. So our Hmong ladies can live a happy life.
You go girl!!! I'm proud of you sister
😭😭😭😭 Los Los kua muag li od me koj niam aw….
Your ex husband could have gone to jail because you were under age and he was 24. Txiv neej siab phem li Koj niag txiv no nyuam qhuav ntxim tsis tau zog noj. Qhov zoo ces twb vim muaj nws tsim koj thiab Koj thiaj tu siab raws koj txoj kev npau suav mus kawm college. Yog nws hlub koj heev ntshe Koj ib sij ib tug me nyuam Koj twb tsis xaiv kev kawm. Be happy for what you e accomplished. I’m very proud of you.
There is no justice for Hmong women because Hmong people function in a patriarchal culture that gives Hmong men to the power to abuse women physically, emotionally or psychologically. I am so proud of this sister for advocating for her happiness and needs. She deserved someone who truly loves her. It was his loss for not being a responsible man/husband.
Definitely agree 100%
Me niam hluas kuv twb nias lub tswb rau koj lwm es thov koj pab nias raukuv thiab nawb
He only wants u now bc you're successful and have money, not bc he loves u. He knows if he chooses u, he will be financially better off than with his 2nd wife. I'm glad u didn't fall for his lies again.
Cov tsa nees ko twb tuag yuav tag lawm. Peb cov hluas no los coj ces yuav coj txawv lawm.
Hmoob li cai ces yog dev npua cai xwb mas xav hais li cas ces los hais xav ua li cas los ua ib leeg hais ib zag ib tug hais ib zaj.
WOW! I'm so proud of you for making the sacrifice to stay when you needed to & pursued your education! You're an amazing person!
I agree with you that Hmong's stupid rule of you paying to save their face is a bunch of BS! You're a good woman to pay them off, I would have resort to the law.
I agreed with you especially the 2nd part of your comments.
You finished school and he saw his big fish swimming away, so hes crying, that’s it.
Koj ua Yog dhau lawm. Be strong
Zaj no tu siab tiag tiag li
Peb hmoob ..mas ua tsis fares..rau peb cov ua ntxhais li o
Dev liam ces yog dev liam.
Yes, you did a good job very good. Hmong peoples need to learn about this story, Hmong law do not use any more.
Zoo siab os niam laus. I’m so happy for u for standing up for urself. Nobody knows the pain expect for u. So glad for u.
es dab xwm kab dua twg lawm cas ho nthe nqho los nrog peb ntseeg VAJTSWV zoo dua
Your ex-husband is an indecisive child. He only stops you because you have some education degrees and better than his 2nd wife. His family is wrong to ask for a refund, and so is yours. Glad you found love greater and moved on. You deserve better!!
Sister, I’m so proud of you. I’m glad you moved on. Have a happy life!
All the Hmong women that have bad married should be using this lady story for example and leaned.
Sister you doing good job. But you let the old g push you to the edge. Their is not law you have to reimbursement to your mother and father inlaw , that bushey stupidly forces you.
He and his parents just wants that Masters degree money. Lol. Good for u sis! Came up from a horrible situation.
Cov neeg ko txhob siv hmoob cai. Siv meskas cai xwb kom cov niag ntsej muag ko nyob nkuaj xwb.
👍👍👍👍👍zoo heev li.
No need to deal with Hmong people. Divorce him and his family and move on to find someone who will love you…glade that you did. I support your decision and lecturing the 2 clans what they said to you, sister. Bad culture practices 👎! Wish you the best…!
Wow! Absolutely satisfying story to listen to. It's worth every minute of it. So proud of you, sister! I wish every miserable marriage out there has a happy ending like yours!
Klk l , k.
Sister, you don’t meditate through Hmong people, there’s no justice in the Hmong system. If you are a woman, you lose no matter the situation. We seek justice in western court!
Just threatened them with the laws, n they will back away so fast. Make them taste their own medicine.😂
Amen!
Yog 100% there is no fairness in the Hmong system.
😊
I couldn’t agree more!!!
Because you have a degree that’s why he wants you to stay tuvivncaus….cold heart man….so proud of you..Hmong people is all about faces
You did good I am so proud of you
Great story!!!
Sister, if your story is true, you should not have to pay your in - laws, kwv tij and neej tsa to get divorced. Just walk out. You don’t owe these people anything!
I absolutely love stories like this one because it gives us divorce/single mom to encourage ourselves to move forward to new beginnings instead of staying the this old lazy fast only chasing Low scums like himself. Thank you sister, you are a inspiration to the world.
Nws quaj vim nws yuav plam koj mus xwb, tus muam yeej ua tsis raws kev cai Hmoob lawm, ua neej nyob yuav tsum tuav cai mas, koj twb tsis tuav cai koj thiaj tau kho lawv, dhau ntawd koj tig rov los rhuav Hmoob kab lig kev cai, vim koj nyob mekas koj thiaj ua tau xwb, yog koj nyob peb teb chaws koj yuav raug coj mus kawm nawb.
Cov kwv tij quav dev xwb tsis tas mloog2 li os ua li yus ua tau xwb txhob kk lawv lawv tsis yog tus khwv yus noj tsis tau k kiag
ตอนอยู่ไม่เห็นค่า พอไปแล้วดันเห็นว่ามีค่า ผช.เห็นแก่ตัวจริงๆไม่เคยรักใครนอกจากตัวมันเอง
Moob txoj niag cai ces yeej qias neeg li ko os sister
Txiv dev Mas tsis sawv zoo thaum yus hlub tsis hlub thaum yus tsis aus Mas ua dev leg xwb.
Tau mloog thib ib lawm lau cov phooj ywg aw.
Koj tau ib qho khoom plig los ntawm UA-cam.
Hmongs rules is just a mess up injustice rules just for men made up by men.
You should of said your leaving to love yourself not to find someone to love you. But I’m so proud of you for finally leaving him and love yourself.
You put yourself in that situation
So happy for you sister, your ex doesn't deserve you
❤
Hmong law will never work for women because it’s kwv Tig (men) and neej Cha (men). Men support men. In situations like this I wish there were “Women representation” but instead help give fair trial for women, wives are afraid to talk because wives bring shame to our husband or neej Cha. So sad….😢
This is the 21st century, we go to the courts and use American Law. You only endure this type of abuse if you are very Hmong. When we women mention law enforcement, and threaten kwv tij and neej tsa with the law of the U.S, they will let go of the harassment of belittling you into staying in that abusive marriage.
Amen! Very well said
Tus txivneej ko siab phem limhiam dhau es npam nws kom txhob tau zoo neej xwb. Yog nws tsis hloov ces thaum tuag los tsis muaj pojniam ua ntees.
He crying because he gonna lose a good wife with high education plus all those $$$$😂😂😂
Nej puas paub tias hmoob cai ces yog dev npua cai xwb na tsis muaj qab haus lis os
WOW! This is karma for real table does turn around.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
👍👍🌹🌷
Wow!!! What a sad 11 years life with your ex. But happy for you found a happiness life.
🎉nrog koj tusiab kawg uas koj yuav tau ib tug txiv dev txiv aub neeg siab tsiaj xwb es ntshe koj yog neeg npam pob kavtsij nrauj kiag xwb mas we are in the usa not in laos anymore girl.
Wow . good story
Tus me niam tsev cas pheej yuav khes hmoob txoj niag kev cai khuj noj khuj haus n'a ya loo Tom tawv dawb ces tas xwb mas
Glad you stand-up for yourself😂😂😂😂
Bravo !!!!!
Good job sister
Don't lump the rest of us in with your ex b/c you chose to be in an abusive relationship
What NOT corrupt about Hmong kev cai? You’re expecting justice and rightnesses from a group that allowed him to have two wives? Everyone all of a sudden have something to say when they can get some money lol
Lawv niag tub twb tsis yuav yus es tseem them nqi tshoob rov qab rau lawv ua dab tsi .
IHMOGOB PHALAVej
Hmoob kev cai, yog kev cai ruam xwb na. Yeej Tsis muaj leej yuam tau koj ib sim neej na. Tus yuam tau koj ces yog tu taw phom ntshis rau koj xwb na.
Your in law know they going to loose someone like you. So they have to put a act to see if you can come back.
Mloog tib ob lawm o
Zoo li koj kos ces mu rau dev dub aim qhov quav xwb ma lov yog thuam hmoob npaum kos na lov
There’s no justice in the Hmong system. Don’t fall for it!
Koj niag txiv qub ces ua li tej laus hais os suav cwj ntas ob tog plam li tej lau nej hniaj hais dab neeg ntag laub yom nyuam qhuav cua kom nws Txhob muaj ib lub neej kom tag tiam no mas
So glad you found your worth and all that you deserve in a blessed life. All the rest don't matter. His gift box he gave to you as a wedding gift was a reflection of his own failure as a husband and hopefully, a closure to his guilty conscience. Turns out his guilty conscience is still lingering like a bad taste in his mouth that he can't rid of. And here you are, moved on in life. Doesn't matter who you are, always stand up for yourself and what feels right for you so that you can live a life worth living. You owe it to yourself.
Usually and normally, in our Hmong culture only the person at fault would pay something to settle a problem. The fact that both your husband's clan and your clan agreed for you to pay was something. Sounds like there was something hidden on your part - I'm not saying you are totally at fault but it's more like "zoo sib xws". You paid because you wanted to get out and probably not enough cause for you to leave. In real life if we are totally innocent we and our clan wouldn't settle for what is not right.
Xaiv tus hlub yus yeej zoo tshaj... tus hlub yus thiaj paub yus sab, yus mob, yus nkees, thiab yus chim...
Oh oh lol. . .. another bachelor degree story 😂😂
It's either a Doctor or Masters Degree story. Everyone of these stories. 😂😂😂.
@bluewhisper5008 I know right, ever since last year 😆 and they always end up divorced or cheating..
Never be reborn as a Hmong woman.
Example of NAS
Ib peb yog kuv nawb
What a waste of 10 years of your life to live with a husband that holds someone else in their bed every night, I feel so bad for you. It must of been so lonely and sad. I’m glad you have moved on and found someone who deserves your love.
If i were u i would never pay them. You married him for 10+ years, gave him a child, lived with them, cooked and cleaned for them. The dowry money was worth the time u lived and suffered for them already. But i know u only did it to ua twm them too.
Hnubno peb nyob muaj nom muaj tswv es uacas nej pheej yuav hais ntawm hmoob ua tus dabtsi? Hahahaha