I walked into an adult situation as a 5 year old and my dad's reaction was a) inappropriate and b) over the top angry. If he just quietly dealt with it I wouldn't have remembered it- his response and how it scared me is why I remember.
I was like 6 when I walked in on my parents. No yelling or anything. I just slowly and quietly closed the door and walked away. No words were ever spoken. Nothing. I still have nightmares. Haha.
I can't imagine reacting angrily or my husband reacting angrily 💔💔 life is already so scary and intimidating for kids, why make a situation even worse😭 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sucks as a parent when you intentionally wait until everyone's in bed and asleep, you do everything to avoid waking them up, and this ends up happening. I hope our kids are never, ever get exposed to anything like this. I would be worried in this situation, that their daughter has a habit of doing this, because she's clueless as to what's going on, and is curious but scared, idk, it's a very scary thought. Our oldest has never, ever snuck around like this.
The religious/post-religious urge for a parent to freak out at their kids when the parent messed up is simultaneously understandable and horrifically bad. If you don’t help your kids understand sex and when it’s right and wrong to do, you might not be protecting them from harm from others or from their own misunderstandings of relationships that they develop with their young peers when they enter their teens. Underage pregnancy is higher among people who are religious and whose parents aren’t willing to teach them both the good and the bad about sex before their kid’s bodies decide it’s time to become self/taught.
Reminds me of when my brother was about 9 or 10. My parents had turned the shower on and locked the master bedroom door. It was a lazy Saturday morning and they didn’t realize he was awake already. They did not hear the house phone ring, but he did. It was our pastor. He asked to speak to my dad. My brother said:” oh sorry he can’t talk now, he’s in the shower.” Pastor asked to speak to mom instead:” sorry, she’s in there too.” Pastor cackled and just asked to let them know to call him back. My mom and dad were mortified.
@@Prokutzlawncareandlandscaping thank you! I think I said 'lol' because we shower together all of the time, like with family staying with us, when we stay at my mom's for the weekend to visit, it's a lot more efficient then showering separately, plus we just enjoy being close with each other, I don't want to make people feel awkward and think we are having sex with them in the other room awake😭😂
This happened when I was 5 at a cabin. It was dark, I asked what they were doing, they said exercising, I believed them and went back to bed. Update: I confronted my mom about it and she told me I had woken up and asked , "What's that knockin'?" Then came their response above. I didn't remember saying that. Also, my brother was conceived during this exercise session. Lol
I walked in on my parents at a similar age and 1000% remember all of it, but I wouldn’t say I was traumatized. I honestly forgot about it most of my childhood and as I got closer to adulthood, I was like, “ooooh that’s what they were doing” haha
I think it probably depends on the child/person and other things they've gone through or witnessed. I definitely think some will forget and some may have some trauma.
People. Don't worry. What do you think askimos do. Or native indians. Or frontier cabins. Where everybody slept in the same room. This is oldest time. They will eventually learn.This is part of life.
I heard my parents waterbed going lol I was more curious than anything thinking what the heck are they doing! 😂I look back on it now thinking goodness dad was a stud lol jk definitely not traumatized now that I’m old it’s more funny than anything 🤣
When I was 14 I woke up in the middle of the night to loud breathing noises coming from my parents room. It sounded like my Dad was having a heart attack. It honestly scared me. I walked into my parents room & figured out VERY QUICKLY what was going on and made a VERY HASTY exit. The next morning my Mom made breakfast as usual. We all sat at the breakfast table in silence. No mention of anything.
5 years old? That’s nothing. Our 16 year old son opened our bedroom door on us (and immediately closed it). He went into his room and screamed into his pillow. His father’s response was “ next time, knock first”. Mine was “ good grief, you found out your parents have sex. Where do you think you came from”. Hilarious. After that he would bust our chops every chance he got.
@Mew__ yeah, kids who go through this need that reassurance that daddy wasn't hurting mommy, nor the other way around, mommy and daddy were enjoying themselves together but you weren't supposed to see us enjoying each other that way.
Same! I walked in on my parents having sex, and aside from it being awkward, it didn't bother me. Only time it might be an issue, as was pointed out elsewhere in the replies, is if the child doesn't realize that what's going on is consensual. Apparently that happened to a child in his family--she walked in on her parents having sex, and even though it was consensual, she thought that it wasn't, and that, in turn, traumatized her. It was the perceived lack of consent she found traumatic, not the actual act. So, finding some way to talk to the kid and make sure they know mommy and daddy weren't hurting each other without actually having "the sex talk" if the kid's too young for it might be a good idea.
@@Boldstrummer LOL! You want her to describe the details of what she saw while her parents were having sex? Far be it for me to speak for her, but I get the feeling that may be a bit too Freudian for her to be comfortable with doing! 🤣
Happened to me when I was like 5, maybe, my parents were great teachers and by that time I already knew everything I had to know about private parts and such, but besides that, what I saw was just them covered from head to toe, dad on top of mom, they immediately saw me and stopped, "whats up? Are you good?" : Me half asleep "yeah..." -- "ok goodnight go to sleep" .
Reminds me of that 70's Show when Eric caught Kitty and Red doing it. So he was acting weird around them and they sat him down because they thought he was on drugs which he denied the problem wasn't drugs. So Eric's sister Laurie blurted out, "he saw you two doing it." But Eric denies and says, "you know what I am on drugs." 😂
The post sex conversation will set the stage for how a kid will feel about what they saw. I can imagine in less developed nations, and people in general over 100 years ago, kids probably saw/heard their parents having sex due to living situations not being as private as they are today.
@@Opinions-galore24as a kid id pretend to be asleep when they checked on me bcs id stay up reading 😭 lead to many nights where i had to hear some things
Not to be too graphic but when I was about 10 years old I woke up in the night to some strange sounds, and couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on. I could hear my mom and dad breathing heavily and making strange sounds, and I could also hear this “slapping“ sound. I actually got out of bed and went towards the sound. It was very late and I remember being pretty confused. As I stood there next to their bedroom door in the hallway, it took me a minute to realize what was going on. The slapping sound was from aggressive intercourse. I was shocked and stunned. From what I could hear I could tell everything apparently was ok and they were both enjoying it a lot. And I crept back to my bed undetected. I was fine with what they were doing, but I had really never thought about them in that way. I told my two sisters about it and my older sister ended up saying something to our grandma. It was the best thing that could have ever happened. Our grandma had a really nice talk with us in her kitchen. She explained what sex is, and how important it is in a loving relationship. She told us that many people think sex is only for men, but she assured us that sex can be amazing for women also and she encouraged us to look forward to the day we could make love often to the person we would choose to live our lives with. Throughout our teenage years our grandma would give us a few more details and more age-appropriate instruction. My two sisters and I grew up very comfortable with our bodies but we didn’t share sexually with anyone until we were married. By the time we were married we were very well aware of our sexuality, personal sexual function, and were quite experienced in self exploration and pleasure. Each of our honeymoon’s were absolutely amazing. We attribute our great sex lives to our amazing grandma who took the time to help us understand how important sex is as well as encouraging us to look forward to it with positivity. I’ve known many women throughout my life who had horrific experiences on their honeymoon’s because of the negative indoctrination they received growing up. I am so grateful for such a positive upbringing and for such an amazing sexual relationship with my husband today. And it all started late one night hearing my parents making funny noises. Don’t ever be afraid to talk respectfully about sex with your children, age-appropriate of course.
Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].
*especially* if you tell him not to. Not because he has ill intent, but now that he has a command to focus on, he'll ruminate on it and its surrounding data.
@@SimplyBeingTTJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].
@@elibennett6168Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].❤😊
@invisiblespirit5476 exactly… kids should be taught at two to respect closed doors and knock and wait. Most of these situations are 100% avoidable!!🤦♀️
Little girl is lucky enough to have parents, who are apparently 'happily married' even after several children - she'll be ok. If her experience of her parents is them being loving and close to each other generally, why would she jump to the conclusion, something bad happened? She might be confused and curious, but hardly traumatized.
@@yota8325 Well yeah. But I was talking about this specific girl in this specific situation and the mother answered that question in the negative. The situation would obviously be very different, if the context was sex that involves someone being tied up or hit or whatever. I sure hope, parents of small children would not do that with their bedroom door unlocked. Or even the kids in the house, depending on the noise level. 😳
I think it's traumatic if you have parents who don't talk, don't sleep in the same room, don't have sex, don't communicate, fight all the time, really resent and dislike each other 😅
Of course it is traumatizing. Nobody wants to see that it’s gross. Even after you are teen/adult you don’t wanna think or see your parents that way. I caught my mum when I was 9, for months I could seen mum mum the same way, she was no longer pure and sacred, she was dirty. Again, nothing wrong with sex itself between married people. You just don’t wanna see YOUR parents doing it. Pretty simple.
@@marteumar8429 your parents not educating you on sex by 9 is their fault. I can't imagine finding out your parents are adults who have sex is that traumatizing tbh. Sounds more like they failed to properly educate you and didn't talk to you afterwards in a helpful way
I was 6 when I walked in on my parents. In art class same week, some kid brought up the same thing - and every single kid at the table said “me too!” And we proceeded to tell each other what happened 😅😂 not traumatized over here
Happened to me when i was about 7? I definitely remember it. It registered as weird. Later, it registered as gross. And that's where it remains. Gross. Not traumatic.
Well the title of the video should have given sex part away…maybe parents listen around little that wouldn’t get the sex talk..but woukd get the Santa talk.. 🤷🏻♀️. The warning is nice…
This is why you lock the door. I am listening to a podcasts and they say that same thing. No matter the time of day. My parents did the same. Then we never knew when they were doing it because the door was always locked.
@@theevilascotcompany9255Samantha Jones for all her sexual liberation was never very into monogamy, so I feel like it’s not the best example. But can I think of a better one? Ooof probably not.
Dr. John I would not tell the child how much you enjoyed it but rather how much you love each other and how this is one way you show each other and that it makes you happy. I would totally leave out that you really enjoyed it. I think a statement like that could bring on some unhealthy curiosity way too early. I am speaking from experience. My mother was way too open and shared too much with my sister and I way too early. Thanks for listening.
So fun fact. I had older parents (had because my mom passed away in 2022) and growing up I never really thought about it but as a teen I kinda just (wrongfully) assumed they didn’t get it on anymore because of old age. One day, when I was 19, work was slow at my retail job so I went home early. I walked in and yelled ‘I’m home!’ Like always and I heard a thud followed by a door slamming shut. I was confused, thinking one of them had fallen, but my dad stumbles out in just his underwear and my mom is laying in the bed laughing hysterically. My cat sauntered out of the room as well and my only thought was “YOU HAD THE CAT IN THE ROOM?!”
Just to make this caller feel better… I walked in on my parents when I was 6. It was 100% my fault. My parents had locked their door, but I had recently learned how to pick their lock; I learned the hard way you never do that with mom and dad’s room. But my mom was like you and had a really great reaction. I wasn’t traumatized by the experience at all. Obviously I was very embarrassed at the time, but it didn’t “ruin me” towards sex. You seem like a great mom and while your daughter’s never going to forget this (I certainly haven’t) my guess is it’s all going to be okay.
My mom says I walked in on them when I was a kid and I literally remember nothing about it. And it's not because I 'blocked' it, it's just not in my memory bank (thankfully, haha). Mom supposedly played it off like it wasn't a big deal so my brain didn't clock it as a big deal and I never put a 'pin' in that memory.
I saw the title and BUSTED OUT LAUGHING!!! She’s tripping! Lol I’m surprised she’s so shocked about it when she has 4 kids! 😂😂😂 little miss will be fine!
She is tripping! Because Mom didn’t mean for her little miss xD to see that. She will be fine but I think Mom is struggling because she can’t explain it all just yet. Lol You mean with 4 kids, you’re surprised that this is only the first time it’s happened? 😂
You can’t change the fact that she saw, however, you can change the way you react. The reaction and response is the most important thing. If you stay calm and make it clear that no one did anything wrong, but she shouldn’t have seen that, she probably won’t even remember. If you scream and yell or get angry, make her feel like she did something wrong, she’s going to hold onto that negatively. I see too many parents making that mistake. It’s like when a kid falls down or gets hurt and the parents start screaming bloody murder and freaking out. The kid cries harder. When they stay calm or laugh it off, often times the kid does the same and even laughs as well. The reaction is so important. Children mimic other peoples reactions and body language. We learn how to regulate our emotions from watching our parents and people who are close to us as we grow up and develop.
That happened to me. Luckily they were under the covers. I ran downstairs to the living room, sat in the piano bench, started laughing and then I started crying. I was confused about it all, including my response. I got over it real quick, it didn’t impact my childhood or adulthood. But everyone handles things differently.
I walked in on my dad and his new wife when I was around 9, I didn't understand what was happening and they yelled at me for opening the door without knocking 😂 I wasn't traumatized and I learned my lesson about knocking
I just REALLY dont understand how explaining the technical parts of how sex works is age appropriate. 5 is VERY little. I get explaining sex is for grown up mommies and daddies. Its normal for ADULTS and never kids. Respect privacy and announce yourself, etc. But that to me feels like too much information for kindergarten student.
I agree. I don't think it needs to be explained like this.. sounds too graphic. And bringing it up over and over, it's just more traumatizing in my opinion.
Ask again about being in the closet. Ask her if she has any questions. Assure her that she can ask you about anything whenever she wants to and finish making her sandwich. You are dwelling on this too much. From a distance, an outsider who has never had sex cannot see body parts between legs or imagine them. A five year old doesn't have the capacity to take a flat picture in a book into a bedroom setting. Mom is making too much of this.
I can’t believe he gave that advice!! Trying to force the child into explaining in detail what she saw, and “Daddy’s parts go into Mommy’s parts” oh my GOD! If I heard that at 5 I would never want to get married, and would also constantly be trying to get that image out of my mind when looking at my parents… ew! I think she should tell the child if she did see anything, whatever it was, it was safe and normal for adults and she’ll understand when she’s older. That’s it.
1 thing I have to disagree John is to tell her daughter that her mom was enjoying herself. Because if an adult is trying to do that to her she is going to see it as enjoying herself. As someone that was molested as a child, please don’t say that to a kid. I would say just say that only 2 people that are in love with each other and are married, they are just sharing a special moment that’s for them only and nobody else. Everything else, it’s perfect.
I definitely agree that if the other parts of the conversation they had didn’t happen, that she could concluded that. It sounds like she was told it wasn’t for her to see and it for ADULTS.
I did walk in on my parents but they never talked about it and I never asked. I was about 8 or 9. I was fine. I didn’t have sex until marriage at 25. Your kid will be fine for sure. I wished my parents would have talked to me about.
I’m the complete opposite. I stayed a virgin for 22 years of my life, am happily married, and am SO glad my parents did NOT talk about it afterwards. The last thing I wanted to do was have such an awkward conversation. I knew all I needed to know when the time came and it did NOT include any discussion about parents having “fun” 🤮.
Omg. This brought back memories when my daughter at age 6 walked in on us. She said you are butt wrestling And that was that Never to be mentioned again !!
One night my son overheard me when he was real young. He decided to talk about it when my family was over at the dinner table. He talked about the "weird noises" coming from mommy and daddy's room. My face turned beet red and everyone laughed. I think I was the one more traumatized. LOL
I have seen it too and the next day i asked my mom what they were doing...and guess what my mom said..that they were praying...i knew she was lying right away and let go of it..its hilarious when i think of it as an adult
"She said she didn't see anything." 😂 I think it was handled really well. I think if explained well children eventually understand. Daughter will probably laugh about it her entire life lol.
I walked in on my parents when I was 16. My mom just calmly said “please knock next time.” I wasn’t traumatized and learned my lesson! I was a lot more mindful of ALWAYS knocking before entering 😂
It's different at 16 because you already understand what's going on. Kinda funny it took you that long to be mindful about knocking though, I remember once I walked into my parent's bedroom without knocking (they weren't doing anything, just watching TV), and my dad said "Never walk in without knocking first, we could have been naked", and that was enough for me to learn about knocking 😂 unfortunately I did hear them doing it since my bedroom was adjacent to theirs, but it didn't traumatize me either.
@@declaracionespolemicashaha! That’s why I emphasized “always.” It wasn’t that I never knocked before, I was actually pretty good about that. That particular incident though I got home late from work and was in a rush to tell them something and just barged in 🫣 From then on it didn’t matter how much of a hurry I was in - I knocked 😆
I slept in the same room as my parents when i was young, and I heard them going at it one night 😭 I dont think it scarred me in the long run, but I was upset that they didn't have the consideration to take it elsewhere. I dont care if youre a couple, my needs come first.
5 year olds are still pretty young and innocent. Not to say that they won’t be confused and potentially act out on what they saw. There’s a saying that kids are great reporters(in this case responders) but bad interpreters.
9:44 idk if it’s necessarily a good idea to give a 5 yr old the full details of the sex talk tho 😅 u can explain that it’s a normal adult thing, or even that that’s how babies r made, but I wouldn’t describe the anatomy of it for a kid under 9 y.o under any circumstances
I totally agree with you, I would NOT talk about daddy’s parts going into mommy’s parts at such a young age as 5!! TMI for that developmental level. I would only explain it if they start asking at an older age how it actually works (like when my daughter at 9 was like, wait, how does the sperm get to the egg?).
@@dcarr-kr7hk oh yea 100% 😂😭 I didn’t even learn how it worked till age 11 but I’ll never forget how shocked I was in that moment - was completely freaked out for weeks ☠️
Tbh, I did learn about this at 5. But again, it was hard for me at the time to comprehend. I don't think it's wrong being truthful that p and v make babies. Now, casually talking about acts is inappropriate
@the_seer_0421 No one regardless of age wants to hear his/her parents having sex. Ive never heard my parents doing it, and for all I know they bought us all the baby store and remained virgins. 😂
The only thing I disagree with Dr. John on this is... maybe not calling it a secret. Children who are sexually abused by parents are told to keep secrets.... just saying.
A 5yo can understand what sex is, I remember having books about it and my mom explaining, I didn't really catch the "we do it because it's feel good fun only adults feel" part, but I understood the mechanics and that that was where babies came from and not to worry about it
Yes me too the book I had said it is a “special adult way of hugging” married people do to make a baby. Very simple and easy to understand. I was satisfied with the answer at that age and that was that. I think we overthink this kind of thing.
I feel like at 5, how she handled it AFTER it happened is so much more important than the moment itself. She’ll remember that if she was scared to say anything, Mom still chose to apologize IF anything was seen and explain a little. Maybe next time she’ll be more open to ask questions or explain what she’s feeling when she’s older and experiences something.
I experienced this when I was 7 years old. My dad just high-fived me, told me to give them 5 minutes, and told me to close the door behind me without missing a thrust.
It’s awful when it happens 😂 it’s awful when you are a kid and think Dad is hurting Mom or your the adult and you feel shame about “hurting” your kid for doing something super important for martial intimacy. John gave great advice! I took away several lessons from this call, including verifying that the kids are in their beds before locking the doors! 😂
Agreed. I also think it’s important for parents to show their children, adults being affectionate, as parents. We taught our boys about their “personal private places” which usually were covered by a bathing suit that others should not see or touch.
Considering how many of these Dr. Delony calls are based on parents no longer having sex and the tension it causes, in some ways it's good to see kind of the opposite problem, lol.
My coworker and her husband were the parents of two young daughters, age 3 and 5. They were very casual about nudity; however, one day when her husband came home from work, nature called, and he had to make a quick trip to the bathroom. As he was standing at the toilet, with the bathroom door open, their 5-year-old walked by, stopped dead in her tracks, pointing at him, and loudly said, “WHAT IS THAT?” Yep, the door was immediately closed, and there was no more casually walking around the house while nude, or having ‘dangly’ body parts to be seen.
@probablynot1368... I laughed so loud at your comment!!! I would have also been horrified. ☺️ Some things which are private should stay that way. (Honestly? I cannot imagine my father being foolish enough to walk around naked. I would have thrown up!)
@probablynot1368... I laughed so loud at your comment!!! I would have also been horrified. ☺️ Some things which are private should stay that way. (Honestly? I cannot imagine my father being foolish enough to walk around naked. I would have thrown up!)
It's funny to read this as a Finn. Families go to sauna together naked when the kids are young. Later as the kids reach puberty, families tend to go to their sauna in a group that consists of people of only their gender. So, basically, men's turn and then women's turn or the other way around as there's usually only a single sauna. The locker rooms in public swimming halls are segregated by gender, but everyone goes around naked in them. It's totally normal for a bunch of guys to shower naked as there's multiple showers and then go to sauna naked and sit on a cloth. Afterwards, they'll put on their swimwear and go to the swimming area where everyone is expected to and does wear swimwear. Some friend groups go to a mixed sauna etc. Being naked isn't necessarily sexual in nature. I remember going to the bathroom as a kid to take a leak on my potty while my Dad or Mom was on the toilet. I saw their genital areas and they told me their names and it wasn't made into a big fuss. I think that may have happened multiple times until at some point, probably when I didn't use a potty anymore, I just stopped entering the bathroom if someone was already in there. America has a weird relationship with nudity from a Northern European perspective, but I get it.
@excitedaboutlearning1639 My grandparents were Finnish. I remember being in the sauna with mom and grandma. I was about 3 yrs. I just remember being impressed at how big grandma's boobs were! This was back in the early 1970s. Mom was the youngest in the family. Grandparents were quite elderly by then.
Reminds me of the impromptu conversation i had with my 5 year old son about why he wasn't allowed to be the father of his (9 month old) sister's children when they grow up and still keep it appropriate for his 5 year old mind.
This is every parents nightmare. But its a good topic to get advice for anyone who has kids. But imo its a good idea to have a conversation with her about the bird's and bees!
This is a serious question, but come on, it is also sort of funny. Even the caller must know it is funny. I am sure this happens all the time. And while I am not a therapist and do not have kids, I do believe this is highly manageable or able to be tended to. I would never laugh if it was truly and utterly serious (i.e., death in family, etc.).
@@ihateallyall I mean it surely happens. It never happened to me. I recall a comedian said parent do not want to think of their (adult) kids having sex, but (adult) kids defiantly do not want to think of their folks having sex! It is true. I liked how Dr. John asked if it was regular married sex or extra off the wall sex. Lol. But it was a fair question b/c they likely could have talked their way around regular sex to the child, but crazy sex, not so much.
@@dcarr-kr7hk Well the thing w/ the child in the closet basically seeing a full show, sure that is rare, but a kid walking in on their parents doing you know what b/c IDK they forgot to lock the door in the heat of it all has happened.
I can't imagine having 'the talk' with a 5 year old. I would not be going into detail. Not at that age. Don't beat yourself up. It's bound to happen eventually in most homes. There's only so much safeguarding you can do. Kids are sneaky and smart. Good luck!
I think your advice is too much, ask her what she saw, if it was the sex act, then just state it’s what married mummy’s and daddy’s do when they have a special love that only grown ups have together. No need to explain the sex act at all! You can say grown ups enjoy it, but it’s only what grown ups do together if they want to.
When I was a teen, my Mom had a rule that when I came home late from work or a friend's house that I had to knock softly on my parents' bedroom door (to avoid startling my Mom out of sleep... she is a light sleeper), and then crack the door open and quietly call to her to let her know I was home safe. She has always been an early bird and goes to bed at 9pm. However, she told us she couldn't sleep as peacefully knowing my brother or I were still out of the house driving around at night. So, this was a system she made so she could then sleep peacefully without waking up every 30 minutes to look out her window for us. Well, when I was 17, in my senior year of highschool, around Christmas time, my Dad had a work Christmas party one night. My Dad's workplace allows employees only at the main party, not spouses or families. So, when I pulled into the driveway and noticed my Dad's truck was not there, I assumed he was still out with his colleagues. I could see the light of the television glowing through my parents' bedroom window, so I knew that meant my Mom had already gone to bed. Well, like always, I came in the house and got settled, then went upstairs, lightly knocked on her door, cracked it open to tell her I was home... and my parents were both in there... going at it. I immediately slammed the door closed and ran downstairs slamming all the kitchen cabinets while I frantically searched for comfort food and ranted about how they should have had their door locked. I was SO mad that I was only MONTHS away from heading off to college without every having walked in on them and then THAT was the age I happened to do so. I had thought I was home free. There was no telling a 17 year old that they were simply wrestling. 😂 I heard my parents upstairs laughing at the situation, which made it even worse, but they didn't leave their room that night. So, I went to bed grossed out and angry at them. The next morning, they asked me why I had not knocked. I told them I HAD knocked and they just didn't hear me. I asked them why they didn't have their door locked. They said they knew we were old enough to knock first and wouldn't just walk in. I explained that I did what I have always been taught to do and it backfired... and that I thought Dad was still at his Christmas party anyway, so why would I think to knock loudly and startle Mom awake. As it turned out, there had been a spontaneous after party where some of the spouses showed up to spend time enjoying holiday cheer and having some drinks. My Dad had a few too many, so my Mom had driven him home in her car and they planned to pick up his truck the next day. It was the perfect storm for this to happen to me. My parents pulled the same, "How did you think you were made?" line, and I responded with, "I'm aware of how it happens, but I choose to think it only ever happened the two times necessary to conceive my brother and me, because what person wants to picture their parents... ick. Besides, I prefer to imagine the stork dropped me off... and my brother definitely came via FedEx from the cabbage patch, because we are NOTHING alike." 😂 The next day, my Dad, who found the whole situation hilarious, told his colleagues about it and his one colleague proceeded to call me "Full Moon" for the remainder of my knowing him... because I had seen my Dad's butt in full view before slamming that door. 🤦♀️ 20 years later... my family STILL laughs about this incident. Then there is me... scarred for life. Lol. 😂
Oh wait until she goes to school and is asked to draw a picture of her family lolol. I did that when I was 6 in kindergarten. The teacher almost passed our. 😅
My daughter was around 5 or 6 and walked in on us in the morning. She ran and jumped on the bed and yelled “Jungle gym time!”😂😂😂😂 thank you for bringing that memory back! Luckily we were under covers.
My primary school daughters were in their own tents. My ex wanted to engage in the act and I was not keen because they were close by. I was really reluctant. But he insisted, he forced me, I hated it. The next day my older (enlightened) daughter (age 7) told me my younger daughter (age 5) had cried the night before. My older daughter had to cover her ears. It still saddens me to this day that he was so selfish and didn't consider our little girls. 💔
I dnn't actually know what you meant by "forced you" but I am more concerned that he did that to you than your children heard you crying. That sounds like a toxic relationship.
Bruh how did he "force you"? Is it really that hard to say "no"? Unless he physically forced you to do it, it's the fault of both of you. Should've been more responsible and stood your ground.
The thing that will stay with me from this call - both Amanda and Dr John mentioned it - is the importance of body language. I had never thought of that but I can totally get how that makes a difference - I think a lot of people might get the right words but if the posture is kind of retreating from the conversation or it makes the child ?uneasy? in some way, I can see that countering any effect that the right words may have The fact that Mom was so mindful about her body language, was really good. I think she is setting up her daughter for success - because her child might not be ready to talk about it (I’m sure she saw something if I’m reading between the lines right) but she didn’t let the situation go unaddressed. Some parents would be so awkward about it, they’d pretend like it never happened. But not Amanda & good on her ❤
What about from the age of 7 you repeatedly hear your mom having “joy” with many different men until the age of 18 when I left home. My brother and I repeatedly asked her to be quiet she never listened and I often wonder if I should speak to a therapist about it! It was literally sickening and traumatic. I don’t think this little girl will suffer with this her mom sounds so caring
@LM-cm5zh Im so sorry you had to experience that. I'm sure it must've been very traumatizing. If it still bothers you then I would suggest you see a therapist. There's a big difference between growing up with married parents and a single parent, as in your case especially. I hope that things are ok between you and your mum. I pray for total healing for you. God bless you. Sending much love and hugs. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@Princess90547 thank you so much for your reply it really means a lot. I’ve thought about it and I am going to seek therapy. My relationship with her is tense to say the least and I feel I need someone to hear my story as a lot of other stuff happened too. Xx 😘
@@LM-cm5zh You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Know that God loves you and cares about you. Trust Him. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
@@LM-cm5zh You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Know that God loves you and cares about you. Trust Him. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
@@LM-cm5zh You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
lol every parent's nightmare 😅. it happened to my parents - my brother remembers it but it's not all that bad. at least they know its a part of life that happens.
I think most people can relate to what the caller was talking about, it brought up a memory for me! You handled it well with sensible advice, tact and humor.
Walked in on my parents at like 7/8 & I was confused and never talked about it. As a mother now, I’d have handled it differently than my folks. This episode is actually helpful of what to do or not to do in the horrible event this were to happen. Good on Amanda for being proactive about it.
@@Ohboycommentsectionit's almost as if therapists can help with difficult conversations 🤔 the average person isn't equipped to deal with trauma and the child didn't simply walk in on her parents; she was there for the whole session
I got traumatised by NOT seeing my parents ever kiss or do anything sexual. Never even heard them. (They never did actually have sex) in my younger years this made me think I am asexual and thought that there was something wrong with me.
My 13 year old daughter heard this episode and she says “throw the whole kid away and get a new one” 😅
This was so funny 😂😂 your daughter has a great sense of humor
Yep sounds like a 13 year old to me. 😆
😂
You daughter is a whole mess😂😂😂
This one is damaged for life 😂😂😂😂😂
I walked into an adult situation as a 5 year old and my dad's reaction was a) inappropriate and b) over the top angry. If he just quietly dealt with it I wouldn't have remembered it- his response and how it scared me is why I remember.
I was like 6 when I walked in on my parents. No yelling or anything. I just slowly and quietly closed the door and walked away. No words were ever spoken. Nothing. I still have nightmares. Haha.
I hated having to hear my parents and then coming home earlier than they expected me to be 😢
I can't imagine reacting angrily or my husband reacting angrily 💔💔 life is already so scary and intimidating for kids, why make a situation even worse😭 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sucks as a parent when you intentionally wait until everyone's in bed and asleep, you do everything to avoid waking them up, and this ends up happening. I hope our kids are never, ever get exposed to anything like this. I would be worried in this situation, that their daughter has a habit of doing this, because she's clueless as to what's going on, and is curious but scared, idk, it's a very scary thought. Our oldest has never, ever snuck around like this.
The religious/post-religious urge for a parent to freak out at their kids when the parent messed up is simultaneously understandable and horrifically bad.
If you don’t help your kids understand sex and when it’s right and wrong to do, you might not be protecting them from harm from others or from their own misunderstandings of relationships that they develop with their young peers when they enter their teens.
Underage pregnancy is higher among people who are religious and whose parents aren’t willing to teach them both the good and the bad about sex before their kid’s bodies decide it’s time to become self/taught.
I'm so sorry. 🫂💛
Reminds me of when my brother was about 9 or 10. My parents had turned the shower on and locked the master bedroom door. It was a lazy Saturday morning and they didn’t realize he was awake already. They did not hear the house phone ring, but he did. It was our pastor. He asked to speak to my dad. My brother said:” oh sorry he can’t talk now, he’s in the shower.” Pastor asked to speak to mom instead:” sorry, she’s in there too.” Pastor cackled and just asked to let them know to call him back. My mom and dad were mortified.
I shower with my husband all of the time and it's definitely not a sex thing😭😭😭 I just love it! I get scared family thinks it's a sexual act lol
😂😂😂
Why lol ? Your married. Nothing is defiled in the bed of marriage. All that is a gift and part of marriage lol your good
@@Prokutzlawncareandlandscaping thank you! I think I said 'lol' because we shower together all of the time, like with family staying with us, when we stay at my mom's for the weekend to visit, it's a lot more efficient then showering separately, plus we just enjoy being close with each other, I don't want to make people feel awkward and think we are having sex with them in the other room awake😭😂
😂😂😂
This happened when I was 5 at a cabin. It was dark, I asked what they were doing, they said exercising, I believed them and went back to bed.
Update: I confronted my mom about it and she told me I had woken up and asked , "What's that knockin'?" Then came their response above. I didn't remember saying that. Also, my brother was conceived during this exercise session. Lol
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Allot of intense cardio!
‘Daddy was helping Mommy brush her teeth’.
That’s hilarious!
15 years from now a therapist will hear the other side of this story
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
I’m dead 😂
Yep 😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I walked in on my parents at a similar age and 1000% remember all of it, but I wouldn’t say I was traumatized. I honestly forgot about it most of my childhood and as I got closer to adulthood, I was like, “ooooh that’s what they were doing” haha
Lol I did too
I think it probably depends on the child/person and other things they've gone through or witnessed. I definitely think some will forget and some may have some trauma.
lol
People.
Don't worry. What do you think askimos do. Or native indians. Or frontier cabins. Where everybody slept in the same room. This is oldest time. They will eventually learn.This is part of life.
I heard my parents waterbed going lol I was more curious than anything thinking what the heck are they doing! 😂I look back on it now thinking goodness dad was a stud lol jk definitely not traumatized now that I’m old it’s more funny than anything 🤣
When I was 14 I woke up in the middle of the night to loud breathing noises coming from my parents room. It sounded like my Dad was having a heart attack. It honestly scared me. I walked into my parents room & figured out VERY QUICKLY what was going on and made a VERY HASTY exit. The next morning my Mom made breakfast as usual. We all sat at the breakfast table in silence. No mention of anything.
🤣
Ick.
😂
😂😂
And that’s how it should stay. Silent awkwardness. 😂
I was 38 when I walked in on my 87 year old grandparents going at it. They were really slow and wrinkly.
Omg these comments are sending me
💀💀💀🤣
Bruhhhh 😂
That would definitely be traumatizing 😆
Haha that's kind of sweet in a weird way
With this great mother, she will get over it.
true and she sounds hot as hell, you can tell he was into the convo cause of her voice
5 years old? That’s nothing. Our 16 year old son opened our bedroom door on us (and immediately closed it). He went into his room and screamed into his pillow. His father’s response was “ next time, knock first”. Mine was “ good grief, you found out your parents have sex. Where do you think you came from”. Hilarious. After that he would bust our chops every chance he got.
😂
I mean the alternative is your parents hate each other and sleep in different rooms. Now the sex option doesn't sound so bad.
Pretty gross. Lock the door next time. Nobody can stand parents who have sex
@@marteumar8429 Agreed. That particular day was a Sunday afternoon and our son was expected to be gone for several hours.
True. I am still traumatized seeing mine when I walked in on them at the age of 22.😭@@marteumar8429
"In fact, mommy was really enjoying herself" 💀💀💀 I would literally pass away
Yeah, kill me now. 🤢
It is important though. Kids can mistake moaning for crying or whimpers of pain, which scares them.
@Mew__ yeah, kids who go through this need that reassurance that daddy wasn't hurting mommy, nor the other way around, mommy and daddy were enjoying themselves together but you weren't supposed to see us enjoying each other that way.
@Undercoverbat95 Okay bro, Jesus also didn't want kids to be scared.
beat me... I scrolled down to this comments the exact moment he said that
If kids were severely traumatized by seeing their parents have sex, society would have long ago fallen apart. 😂
some are and some aren't.
😂😂😂😂😂
some children are traumatized by it, it can be very scary and uncomfortable they are babies and dont understand what is happening
Society is falling apart in my opinion lol 😂
It already has. Long ago.
I still remember walking in on my parents when I was 4 lol When I think of traumatic memories that never comes up as one.
Same! I walked in on my parents having sex, and aside from it being awkward, it didn't bother me. Only time it might be an issue, as was pointed out elsewhere in the replies, is if the child doesn't realize that what's going on is consensual. Apparently that happened to a child in his family--she walked in on her parents having sex, and even though it was consensual, she thought that it wasn't, and that, in turn, traumatized her. It was the perceived lack of consent she found traumatic, not the actual act. So, finding some way to talk to the kid and make sure they know mommy and daddy weren't hurting each other without actually having "the sex talk" if the kid's too young for it might be a good idea.
Same!
What did you see exactly ?
@@Boldstrummer LOL! You want her to describe the details of what she saw while her parents were having sex? Far be it for me to speak for her, but I get the feeling that may be a bit too Freudian for her to be comfortable with doing! 🤣
Happened to me when I was like 5, maybe, my parents were great teachers and by that time I already knew everything I had to know about private parts and such, but besides that, what I saw was just them covered from head to toe, dad on top of mom, they immediately saw me and stopped, "whats up? Are you good?" : Me half asleep "yeah..." -- "ok goodnight go to sleep" .
Reminds me of that 70's Show when Eric caught Kitty and Red doing it. So he was acting weird around them and they sat him down because they thought he was on drugs which he denied the problem wasn't drugs. So Eric's sister Laurie blurted out, "he saw you two doing it." But Eric denies and says, "you know what I am on drugs." 😂
And Red's guidance to Eric is "It feels better than it looks!"
I thought of this scene too haha
@@jengoodwyn2715 I almost wrote that in here 😂 what about
Kitty: “foreplay is very important.”
Red: “Nooo it’s not 😂.”
Kitty: “YES. IT IS. 😡”
Hilarious episode!
Oh my god this is exactly what I thought of, I loved how the sister was so nice to Eric and gave him a hug
The post sex conversation will set the stage for how a kid will feel about what they saw. I can imagine in less developed nations, and people in general over 100 years ago, kids probably saw/heard their parents having sex due to living situations not being as private as they are today.
They also regularly saw farm animals getting it on, according to my husband who grew up on a farm
Agreed those people have a million kids too
Absolutely. Far from "liberated," we are actually much more neurotic about sex than our ancestors.
@@claborn79 very much so.
@@mrsbobannaI have seen farm animals do it and I don’t even live on a farm 😂. But that’s different than seeing your own parents do it…
"Mommy wasn't getting hurt. In fact, mommy was really enjoying herself" lol
😂😂🎉
Ew 😂😂😂😂
🤮
@@marteumar8429Right tf
@Undercoverbat95 Dude, I’m Baptist…I know…
Kindly check the children's bedrooms and make sure they are in bed before going to bed. Then lock your door
Exactly.
That's what my husband and I do LOL
On point!
@@Opinions-galore24as a kid id pretend to be asleep when they checked on me bcs id stay up reading 😭 lead to many nights where i had to hear some things
That’s what my parents used to do every night lol
Maybe this is why. lol
When this happened to me at 10 years old my dad yelled, “Mommy is having a nightmare!” Nope, pretty sure the nightmare was all mine. 😂
😆 Your dad has an interesting way of lying.
😂😂😂
The mom handled that perfectly
Not to be too graphic but when I was about 10 years old I woke up in the night to some strange sounds, and couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on. I could hear my mom and dad breathing heavily and making strange sounds, and I could also hear this “slapping“ sound. I actually got out of bed and went towards the sound. It was very late and I remember being pretty confused. As I stood there next to their bedroom door in the hallway, it took me a minute to realize what was going on. The slapping sound was from aggressive intercourse.
I was shocked and stunned. From what I could hear I could tell everything apparently was ok and they were both enjoying it a lot. And I crept back to my bed undetected. I was fine with what they were doing, but I had really never thought about them in that way.
I told my two sisters about it and my older sister ended up saying something to our grandma. It was the best thing that could have ever happened. Our grandma had a really nice talk with us in her kitchen. She explained what sex is, and how important it is in a loving relationship. She told us that many people think sex is only for men, but she assured us that sex can be amazing for women also and she encouraged us to look forward to the day we could make love often to the person we would choose to live our lives with.
Throughout our teenage years our grandma would give us a few more details and more age-appropriate instruction.
My two sisters and I grew up very comfortable with our bodies but we didn’t share sexually with anyone until we were married. By the time we were married we were very well aware of our sexuality, personal sexual function, and were quite experienced in self exploration and pleasure. Each of our honeymoon’s were absolutely amazing. We attribute our great sex lives to our amazing grandma who took the time to help us understand how important sex is as well as encouraging us to look forward to it with positivity.
I’ve known many women throughout my life who had horrific experiences on their honeymoon’s because of the negative indoctrination they received growing up. I am so grateful for such a positive upbringing and for such an amazing sexual relationship with my husband today.
And it all started late one night hearing my parents making funny noises.
Don’t ever be afraid to talk respectfully about sex with your children, age-appropriate of course.
Wise woman. Thanks for sharing about your grandmother
A very wise grandma. You are very blessed, and I'm happy for you❤
Wow. Bravo to your grandma 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].
How do you care to know how 'amazing " your sisters wedding night/honey moon was??? 😮😮 other than that great story and grandma
One of my fears as a parent…. My son is autistic and would explain what he saw with every family member even if I told him not to 😂
Oh no lol
Yup my son is also autistic and he would do the same thing.
*especially* if you tell him not to.
Not because he has ill intent, but now that he has a command to focus on, he'll ruminate on it and its surrounding data.
@@jceggbert5 exactly
LOL!!!
I walked in to ask something, my dad said “WALK OUT” and I walked back out.
Basically same
Your use of caps was on point - lol
😂😂😂😂
@@SimplyBeingTTJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].
@@elibennett6168Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].❤😊
My 5 year old has learned to open the bedroom door when locked. This is a great reminder to put a 2nd lock on it.
Or you give your child discipline for violating rules and boundaries.
We just installed a second lock. Worth every penny
@invisiblespirit5476 exactly… kids should be taught at two to respect closed doors and knock and wait. Most of these situations are 100% avoidable!!🤦♀️
Well she already has a head start on the "where do babies come from?"
Yeah, she's finding out real fast that that whole stork thing's a myth! 🤣
Little girl is lucky enough to have parents, who are apparently 'happily married' even after several children - she'll be ok. If her experience of her parents is them being loving and close to each other generally, why would she jump to the conclusion, something bad happened? She might be confused and curious, but hardly traumatized.
I guess if the sex was kinky or had some bdsm elements a kid could perseve it as being a bad or dangerous act
@@yota8325
Well yeah. But I was talking about this specific girl in this specific situation and the mother answered that question in the negative.
The situation would obviously be very different, if the context was sex that involves someone being tied up or hit or whatever. I sure hope, parents of small children would not do that with their bedroom door unlocked. Or even the kids in the house, depending on the noise level. 😳
I think it's traumatic if you have parents who don't talk, don't sleep in the same room, don't have sex, don't communicate, fight all the time, really resent and dislike each other 😅
Of course it is traumatizing. Nobody wants to see that it’s gross. Even after you are teen/adult you don’t wanna think or see your parents that way.
I caught my mum when I was 9, for months I could seen mum mum the same way, she was no longer pure and sacred, she was dirty. Again, nothing wrong with sex itself between married people. You just don’t wanna see YOUR parents doing it. Pretty simple.
@@marteumar8429 your parents not educating you on sex by 9 is their fault. I can't imagine finding out your parents are adults who have sex is that traumatizing tbh. Sounds more like they failed to properly educate you and didn't talk to you afterwards in a helpful way
I was 6 when I walked in on my parents. In art class same week, some kid brought up the same thing - and every single kid at the table said “me too!” And we proceeded to tell each other what happened 😅😂 not traumatized over here
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
John’s laughing is cracking me up hysterically
Happened to me when i was about 7?
I definitely remember it.
It registered as weird.
Later, it registered as gross.
And that's where it remains. Gross. Not traumatic.
Sounds like you grew up in a loving home think of it that way.
Same lol walked in on my parents once and then heard them another time. Just gross lol not traumatic
I mean it's the way all of us were born. What y'all want them to wear duct tape on their mouths? Be glad they are still in love after all these years.
What about normal?
@@aaron6841your parents having sex doesn't mean that they love each other. 😅 And it doesn't mean a loving home
Bro talks about sex for 12 minutes and then warns everyone to not let kids hear that he’s about to talk about Santa Clause 😂
Yeah that's what stuck out to me haha.
Well the title of the video should have given sex part away…maybe parents listen around little that wouldn’t get the sex talk..but woukd get the Santa talk..
🤷🏻♀️.
The warning is nice…
This is every parent's worst nightmare. I think I'll check to make sure all the kids are asleep before sex happens next time.
I just relegate it to the bedroom and lock the doors. Idc what time of day.....
This is why you lock the door. I am listening to a podcasts and they say that same thing. No matter the time of day. My parents did the same. Then we never knew when they were doing it because the door was always locked.
Also, lock your bedroom door!
If it's every parent's worst nightmare then why aren't they're locking their damn doors 😂
It’s hardly the WORST nightmare
Shout out to the parents having monogamous married sex. ❤
This is such a weird comment.
@@terricox3559I agree! Should we give out trophies? 🤪
@@oleandra3759 I know right. It's a choice not an accomplishment
Ayyy
@@terricox3559is it though? You know how many married couples don’t do this? Lol
Every parent has a fear of this happening!! 😂
😂
And every friend I've ever had had either heard, seen, or stumbled upon their parents going at it at least once in their lives. 😂
My parents made me watch, I grew up Amish and had a girlfriend at 13 and they wanted to teach…..
@@Dark_Souls_3 oh, wow, that's very different to stumbling upon your parents accidentally because you heard them, or came home early. I am so sorry.
@@Dark_Souls_3 are you serious?? 😱
God bless this lady she sounds so sweet
And a very good Mother. 👑❤️
She sounds like she’s doing a great job talking to her kids. I commend her
June Cleaver on the streets and Samantha Jones in the sheets. Lucky dad. 👍
@@theevilascotcompany9255Samantha Jones for all her sexual liberation was never very into monogamy, so I feel like it’s not the best example. But can I think of a better one? Ooof probably not.
Dr. John I would not tell the child how much you enjoyed it but rather how much you love each other and how this is one way you show each other and that it makes you happy. I would totally leave out that you really enjoyed it. I think a statement like that could bring on some unhealthy curiosity way too early. I am speaking from experience. My mother was way too open and shared too much with my sister and I way too early. Thanks for listening.
Agree 100%
I was thinking the same thing
Agree
I 100% agree!
same
This happened to me at the age of 4. I distinctly remember my father saying, "Oh, he's young enough... he won't remember."😅
Lol the irony
Same Lol!!!!!😂
😭
Dwlll u remember that vividly
LOL.
I love how John's getting down to the details of the scene 😂
He has to know what he is dealing with!
So fun fact. I had older parents (had because my mom passed away in 2022) and growing up I never really thought about it but as a teen I kinda just (wrongfully) assumed they didn’t get it on anymore because of old age. One day, when I was 19, work was slow at my retail job so I went home early. I walked in and yelled ‘I’m home!’ Like always and I heard a thud followed by a door slamming shut. I was confused, thinking one of them had fallen, but my dad stumbles out in just his underwear and my mom is laying in the bed laughing hysterically. My cat sauntered out of the room as well and my only thought was “YOU HAD THE CAT IN THE ROOM?!”
😂😂😂
She's still your mom even though she has passed away, that'll never change!
Why was the cat in there oml 💀😭
Our dogs always in the room 😆 humping her little monkey . It cracks me up
That is hilarious.
*I laughed so hard* when he asked was it boring under the cover sx or were you guys getting after it! 🤣
I would have asked the same thing lol. If it was boring under the covers, they could have maybe played it off as if they were wrestling or something.
I was waiting for a camera angle of the booth when he asked that! 😂
Like now I want to know if he was getting a BJ or she was bent over 😂
SAMEEEE 😭🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Just to make this caller feel better… I walked in on my parents when I was 6. It was 100% my fault. My parents had locked their door, but I had recently learned how to pick their lock; I learned the hard way you never do that with mom and dad’s room.
But my mom was like you and had a really great reaction. I wasn’t traumatized by the experience at all. Obviously I was very embarrassed at the time, but it didn’t “ruin me” towards sex. You seem like a great mom and while your daughter’s never going to forget this (I certainly haven’t) my guess is it’s all going to be okay.
One one my boys started picking our lock, so I ordered a second "heavy duty" lock. I need the peace of mind!
Picking the lock?!? 😩😩😄
Picking the lock is crazy
My mom says I walked in on them when I was a kid and I literally remember nothing about it. And it's not because I 'blocked' it, it's just not in my memory bank (thankfully, haha). Mom supposedly played it off like it wasn't a big deal so my brain didn't clock it as a big deal and I never put a 'pin' in that memory.
Sorry Dr John, but tbe comments in this post are the best part. They actually outshine you this time. Bur I really do love your show.
totally agree lol😂
I saw the title and BUSTED OUT LAUGHING!!! She’s tripping! Lol I’m surprised she’s so shocked about it when she has 4 kids! 😂😂😂 little miss will be fine!
She is tripping! Because Mom didn’t mean for her little miss xD to see that. She will be fine but I think Mom is struggling because she can’t explain it all just yet.
Lol You mean with 4 kids, you’re surprised that this is only the first time it’s happened? 😂
You can’t change the fact that she saw, however, you can change the way you react. The reaction and response is the most important thing. If you stay calm and make it clear that no one did anything wrong, but she shouldn’t have seen that, she probably won’t even remember. If you scream and yell or get angry, make her feel like she did something wrong, she’s going to hold onto that negatively.
I see too many parents making that mistake. It’s like when a kid falls down or gets hurt and the parents start screaming bloody murder and freaking out. The kid cries harder. When they stay calm or laugh it off, often times the kid does the same and even laughs as well.
The reaction is so important. Children mimic other peoples reactions and body language. We learn how to regulate our emotions from watching our parents and people who are close to us as we grow up and develop.
That happened to me. Luckily they were under the covers. I ran downstairs to the living room, sat in the piano bench, started laughing and then I started crying. I was confused about it all, including my response. I got over it real quick, it didn’t impact my childhood or adulthood. But everyone handles things differently.
I walked in on my dad and his new wife when I was around 9, I didn't understand what was happening and they yelled at me for opening the door without knocking 😂 I wasn't traumatized and I learned my lesson about knocking
Dude she didn't knock she was hiding 🤦
@@helenellsworth9556 The commenter was talking about his/her own experience.
They could have prevented that by locking the door. It was all their fault
@@lorainefleeman6011Or maybe they forgot to lock the door before getting it on. Did you ever think about that?
@@gerrenallmon6999 Guaranteed they won't ever forget again...
I just REALLY dont understand how explaining the technical parts of how sex works is age appropriate. 5 is VERY little. I get explaining sex is for grown up mommies and daddies. Its normal for ADULTS and never kids. Respect privacy and announce yourself, etc. But that to me feels like too much information for kindergarten student.
I agree
Many kids these days are exposed to porn by 7, so I think the earlier the better to teach about those things in a safe way
I agree. I don't think it needs to be explained like this.. sounds too graphic. And bringing it up over and over, it's just more traumatizing in my opinion.
Ask again about being in the closet. Ask her if she has any questions. Assure her that she can ask you about anything whenever she wants to and finish making her sandwich. You are dwelling on this too much. From a distance, an outsider who has never had sex cannot see body parts between legs or imagine them. A five year old doesn't have the capacity to take a flat picture in a book into a bedroom setting. Mom is making too much of this.
I can’t believe he gave that advice!! Trying to force the child into explaining in detail what she saw, and “Daddy’s parts go into Mommy’s parts” oh my GOD! If I heard that at 5 I would never want to get married, and would also constantly be trying to get that image out of my mind when looking at my parents… ew! I think she should tell the child if she did see anything, whatever it was, it was safe and normal for adults and she’ll understand when she’s older. That’s it.
1 thing I have to disagree John is to tell her daughter that her mom was enjoying herself. Because if an adult is trying to do that to her she is going to see it as enjoying herself. As someone that was molested as a child, please don’t say that to a kid. I would say just say that only 2 people that are in love with each other and are married, they are just sharing a special moment that’s for them only and nobody else. Everything else, it’s perfect.
Who molested you? Are you damaged goods now ?
100% agree
Absolutely!
He made it clear to tell the five year old that it’s only for her and the parents.
I definitely agree that if the other parts of the conversation they had didn’t happen, that she could concluded that. It sounds like she was told it wasn’t for her to see and it for ADULTS.
I did walk in on my parents but they never talked about it and I never asked. I was about 8 or 9. I was fine. I didn’t have sex until marriage at 25. Your kid will be fine for sure. I wished my parents would have talked to me about.
I’m the complete opposite. I stayed a virgin for 22 years of my life, am happily married, and am SO glad my parents did NOT talk about it afterwards. The last thing I wanted to do was have such an awkward conversation. I knew all I needed to know when the time came and it did NOT include any discussion about parents having “fun” 🤮.
Omg. This brought back memories when my daughter at age 6 walked in on us. She said you are butt wrestling And that was that Never to be mentioned again !!
Omg butt wrestling that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time!! Lololol thank you
I'm dead 🤣
Butt wrestling 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hahaha!
Hahahaha
One night my son overheard me when he was real young. He decided to talk about it when my family was over at the dinner table. He talked about the "weird noises" coming from mommy and daddy's room. My face turned beet red and everyone laughed. I think I was the one more traumatized. LOL
I have seen it too and the next day i asked my mom what they were doing...and guess what my mom said..that they were praying...i knew she was lying right away and let go of it..its hilarious when i think of it as an adult
"She said she didn't see anything." 😂
I think it was handled really well. I think if explained well children eventually understand.
Daughter will probably laugh about it her entire life lol.
I walked in on my parents when I was 16. My mom just calmly said “please knock next time.” I wasn’t traumatized and learned my lesson! I was a lot more mindful of ALWAYS knocking before entering 😂
It's different at 16 because you already understand what's going on. Kinda funny it took you that long to be mindful about knocking though, I remember once I walked into my parent's bedroom without knocking (they weren't doing anything, just watching TV), and my dad said "Never walk in without knocking first, we could have been naked", and that was enough for me to learn about knocking 😂 unfortunately I did hear them doing it since my bedroom was adjacent to theirs, but it didn't traumatize me either.
Same 😂😂😂
@@declaracionespolemicashaha! That’s why I emphasized “always.” It wasn’t that I never knocked before, I was actually pretty good about that. That particular incident though I got home late from work and was in a rush to tell them something and just barged in 🫣 From then on it didn’t matter how much of a hurry I was in - I knocked 😆
I slept in the same room as my parents when i was young, and I heard them going at it one night 😭 I dont think it scarred me in the long run, but I was upset that they didn't have the consideration to take it elsewhere. I dont care if youre a couple, my needs come first.
😂😂😂
As it should, you were a child!
Thats abuse and grooming behavior.
Yeah wtf
5 year olds are still pretty young and innocent. Not to say that they won’t be confused and potentially act out on what they saw. There’s a saying that kids are great reporters(in this case responders) but bad interpreters.
My daughter saw my wife straddling me, while facing me.
She did try to act it out later.
Your right about that . . .
She handled that so so well and the fact that she wasnt nervous to talk about it is amazing
9:44 idk if it’s necessarily a good idea to give a 5 yr old the full details of the sex talk tho 😅
u can explain that it’s a normal adult thing, or even that that’s how babies r made, but I wouldn’t describe the anatomy of it for a kid under 9 y.o under any circumstances
I totally agree with you, I would NOT talk about daddy’s parts going into mommy’s parts at such a young age as 5!! TMI for that developmental level. I would only explain it if they start asking at an older age how it actually works (like when my daughter at 9 was like, wait, how does the sperm get to the egg?).
I agree.
All of that would have traumatized me as a child. (Maybe it might be different for little boys but for me, as a female = traumatizing.)
@@dcarr-kr7hk oh yea 100% 😂😭 I didn’t even learn how it worked till age 11 but I’ll never forget how shocked I was in that moment - was completely freaked out for weeks ☠️
Tbh, I did learn about this at 5. But again, it was hard for me at the time to comprehend. I don't think it's wrong being truthful that p and v make babies. Now, casually talking about acts is inappropriate
Wrong.. they should know correct anatomical names of body parts
A coworker of mine heard his parents having sex when he was 21. He said he went to his room put his headphones on and said “my life is in shambles” 😂
I'm sorry but at 21 that is just childish.
@@the_seer_0421 I wouldn't want to hear that at any age
@the_seer_0421
No one regardless of age wants to hear his/her parents having sex.
Ive never heard my parents doing it, and for all I know they bought us all the baby store and remained virgins. 😂
The only thing I disagree with Dr. John on this is... maybe not calling it a secret. Children who are sexually abused by parents are told to keep secrets.... just saying.
yes
I walked in on my parents in my own house when I was 29. 😂 I’m still traumatized being an adult. I thought the stork brought me. 😂😂
29?!!!! 😩😩😩😩😩😩. That is horrid! 😂😅
That would be way worse than being 5
Now that is really something
A 5yo can understand what sex is, I remember having books about it and my mom explaining, I didn't really catch the "we do it because it's feel good fun only adults feel" part, but I understood the mechanics and that that was where babies came from and not to worry about it
Yes me too the book I had said it is a “special adult way of hugging” married people do to make a baby. Very simple and easy to understand. I was satisfied with the answer at that age and that was that. I think we overthink this kind of thing.
I feel like at 5, how she handled it AFTER it happened is so much more important than the moment itself. She’ll remember that if she was scared to say anything, Mom still chose to apologize IF anything was seen and explain a little. Maybe next time she’ll be more open to ask questions or explain what she’s feeling when she’s older and experiences something.
I experienced this when I was 7 years old. My dad just high-fived me, told me to give them 5 minutes, and told me to close the door behind me without missing a thrust.
🤣omg
Lmao
Not without missing a thrust!!! 😩😩😩😂😂😂
It’s awful when it happens 😂 it’s awful when you are a kid and think Dad is hurting Mom or your the adult and you feel shame about “hurting” your kid for doing something super important for martial intimacy. John gave great advice! I took away several lessons from this call, including verifying that the kids are in their beds before locking the doors! 😂
That’s what I would be worried about if I was married and in this situation - that at that age they might think that Dad is hurting mom
‘Talk about Santa clause so shield little ears’
Haha Jon if they haven’t already switched channels because of little ears…. 😅
Agreed. I also think it’s important for parents to show their children, adults being affectionate, as parents. We taught our boys about their “personal private places” which usually were covered by a bathing suit that others should not see or touch.
I saw my parents when I was 4 and it still grosses me out today. 😂
😂
I thought I’m the only one grossed out.
How lucky is the child to have parents who still get after it after 4 kids 😂❤ one day she will appreciate
Considering how many of these Dr. Delony calls are based on parents no longer having sex and the tension it causes, in some ways it's good to see kind of the opposite problem, lol.
Do people just stop having sex after they have kids? This never crossed my mind…
My coworker and her husband were the parents of two young daughters, age 3 and 5. They were very casual about nudity; however, one day when her husband came home from work, nature called, and he had to make a quick trip to the bathroom. As he was standing at the toilet, with the bathroom door open, their 5-year-old walked by, stopped dead in her tracks, pointing at him, and loudly said, “WHAT IS THAT?” Yep, the door was immediately closed, and there was no more casually walking around the house while nude, or having ‘dangly’ body parts to be seen.
@probablynot1368... I laughed so loud at your comment!!!
I would have also been horrified. ☺️
Some things which are private should stay that way. (Honestly? I cannot imagine my father being foolish enough to walk around naked. I would have thrown up!)
@probablynot1368... I laughed so loud at your comment!!!
I would have also been horrified. ☺️
Some things which are private should stay that way. (Honestly? I cannot imagine my father being foolish enough to walk around naked. I would have thrown up!)
It's funny to read this as a Finn. Families go to sauna together naked when the kids are young.
Later as the kids reach puberty, families tend to go to their sauna in a group that consists of people of only their gender. So, basically, men's turn and then women's turn or the other way around as there's usually only a single sauna.
The locker rooms in public swimming halls are segregated by gender, but everyone goes around naked in them. It's totally normal for a bunch of guys to shower naked as there's multiple showers and then go to sauna naked and sit on a cloth. Afterwards, they'll put on their swimwear and go to the swimming area where everyone is expected to and does wear swimwear.
Some friend groups go to a mixed sauna etc. Being naked isn't necessarily sexual in nature.
I remember going to the bathroom as a kid to take a leak on my potty while my Dad or Mom was on the toilet. I saw their genital areas and they told me their names and it wasn't made into a big fuss. I think that may have happened multiple times until at some point, probably when I didn't use a potty anymore, I just stopped entering the bathroom if someone was already in there.
America has a weird relationship with nudity from a Northern European perspective, but I get it.
😂
@excitedaboutlearning1639 My grandparents were Finnish. I remember being in the sauna with mom and grandma. I was about 3 yrs. I just remember being impressed at how big grandma's boobs were! This was back in the early 1970s. Mom was the youngest in the family. Grandparents were quite elderly by then.
Reminds me of the impromptu conversation i had with my 5 year old son about why he wasn't allowed to be the father of his (9 month old) sister's children when they grow up and still keep it appropriate for his 5 year old mind.
This is every parents nightmare. But its a good topic to get advice for anyone who has kids. But imo its a good idea to have a conversation with her about the bird's and bees!
A Nightmare? What about childhood cancer. diabetes, kidney disease, death.....?
@@karenboyd6293
Fallacy
My dad told me how babies are in the most explicit, violent, traumatizing way
This is a serious question, but come on, it is also sort of funny. Even the caller must know it is funny. I am sure this happens all the time. And while I am not a therapist and do not have kids, I do believe this is highly manageable or able to be tended to. I would never laugh if it was truly and utterly serious (i.e., death in family, etc.).
happened to me when I was 9 with my mother and her boyfriend. total full out cowgirl position. I just wanted a pop tart man
@@ihateallyall I mean it surely happens. It never happened to me. I recall a comedian said parent do not want to think of their (adult) kids having sex, but (adult) kids defiantly do not want to think of their folks having sex! It is true. I liked how Dr. John asked if it was regular married sex or extra off the wall sex. Lol. But it was a fair question b/c they likely could have talked their way around regular sex to the child, but crazy sex, not so much.
@DominickSpano... I don't think it happens all the time.
@@dcarr-kr7hk Well the thing w/ the child in the closet basically seeing a full show, sure that is rare, but a kid walking in on their parents doing you know what b/c IDK they forgot to lock the door in the heat of it all has happened.
@@dcarr-kr7hk I think it happens often.
It’s more awkward than traumatizing.
I was agreeing to everything but the kid having secrets with doctors lol.
exactly!! so many bad doctors out there, totally disagree with him saying that. i grew up in an area where the pediatrician was molesting children!
I just think of all the doctor who did things to their patients and I agree. no doctor secret.
@@RoseNZieg exactly
I can't imagine having 'the talk' with a 5 year old. I would not be going into detail. Not at that age. Don't beat yourself up. It's bound to happen eventually in most homes. There's only so much safeguarding you can do. Kids are sneaky and smart. Good luck!
She’s so young, chances are, if you don’t bring it up, she’ll forget about it. I’d take that route. Having a conversation will only prolong the memory
I think your advice is too much, ask her what she saw, if it was the sex act, then just state it’s what married mummy’s and daddy’s do when they have a special love that only grown ups have together. No need to explain the sex act at all! You can say grown ups enjoy it, but it’s only what grown ups do together if they want to.
You’re just a rando with a smartphone like everyone else. Your opinion has zero value.
@@mikenelson8377 What like your comment? 🤦🏻♀️
Are you a therapist?
@@Veracityseeker7 Better than that, a parent with common sense.
I don't think a 5 year old needs to hear about sex. It may awaken something in her that she is not yet ready for
When I was a teen, my Mom had a rule that when I came home late from work or a friend's house that I had to knock softly on my parents' bedroom door (to avoid startling my Mom out of sleep... she is a light sleeper), and then crack the door open and quietly call to her to let her know I was home safe. She has always been an early bird and goes to bed at 9pm.
However, she told us she couldn't sleep as peacefully knowing my brother or I were still out of the house driving around at night. So, this was a system she made so she could then sleep peacefully without waking up every 30 minutes to look out her window for us.
Well, when I was 17, in my senior year of highschool, around Christmas time, my Dad had a work Christmas party one night. My Dad's workplace allows employees only at the main party, not spouses or families.
So, when I pulled into the driveway and noticed my Dad's truck was not there, I assumed he was still out with his colleagues. I could see the light of the television glowing through my parents' bedroom window, so I knew that meant my Mom had already gone to bed.
Well, like always, I came in the house and got settled, then went upstairs, lightly knocked on her door, cracked it open to tell her I was home... and my parents were both in there... going at it.
I immediately slammed the door closed and ran downstairs slamming all the kitchen cabinets while I frantically searched for comfort food and ranted about how they should have had their door locked. I was SO mad that I was only MONTHS away from heading off to college without every having walked in on them and then THAT was the age I happened to do so. I had thought I was home free. There was no telling a 17 year old that they were simply wrestling. 😂
I heard my parents upstairs laughing at the situation, which made it even worse, but they didn't leave their room that night. So, I went to bed grossed out and angry at them.
The next morning, they asked me why I had not knocked. I told them I HAD knocked and they just didn't hear me. I asked them why they didn't have their door locked. They said they knew we were old enough to knock first and wouldn't just walk in. I explained that I did what I have always been taught to do and it backfired... and that I thought Dad was still at his Christmas party anyway, so why would I think to knock loudly and startle Mom awake.
As it turned out, there had been a spontaneous after party where some of the spouses showed up to spend time enjoying holiday cheer and having some drinks. My Dad had a few too many, so my Mom had driven him home in her car and they planned to pick up his truck the next day.
It was the perfect storm for this to happen to me. My parents pulled the same, "How did you think you were made?" line, and I responded with, "I'm aware of how it happens, but I choose to think it only ever happened the two times necessary to conceive my brother and me, because what person wants to picture their parents... ick. Besides, I prefer to imagine the stork dropped me off... and my brother definitely came via FedEx from the cabbage patch, because we are NOTHING alike." 😂
The next day, my Dad, who found the whole situation hilarious, told his colleagues about it and his one colleague proceeded to call me "Full Moon" for the remainder of my knowing him... because I had seen my Dad's butt in full view before slamming that door. 🤦♀️
20 years later... my family STILL laughs about this incident. Then there is me... scarred for life. Lol. 😂
😅😅😅😅
hilarious as hell
😅😂 sorry but it’s so funny to read it
@@christinapearson4287 it is a very funny story. It would be even funnier for me if it was someone else's story. 🤣
@@zoelife7272 🤣😂🤦♀️ It is... I just wish it wasn't my story. 🤪
She has happy, loving parents. She'll be fine.
Kids seeing body parts blown off and heads chopped off on local TV. I think your child will be fine.
And kids are killing others and themselves in record numbers....I don't think your logic checks out
I love how he laughs in these situations! Fabulous!!
The only thing more would be adding maybe "This is why we knock or not sneak around on anyone in the house".
Oh wait until she goes to school and is asked to draw a picture of her family lolol. I did that when I was 6 in kindergarten. The teacher almost passed our. 😅
😂😂😂😂
My daughter was around 5 or 6 and walked in on us in the morning. She ran and jumped on the bed and yelled “Jungle gym time!”😂😂😂😂 thank you for bringing that memory back!
Luckily we were under covers.
LMAO!
🤣🤣🤣
Yup I definitely remember those images 16-17 years later. They never leave
The 5 year old will absolutely remember it. Best is to be humorous about it as the kid will be embarrassed.
By the way, I had to come to the comments to read everyone else’s experiences on this!! 😜🥴👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My primary school daughters were in their own tents. My ex wanted to engage in the act and I was not keen because they were close by. I was really reluctant. But he insisted, he forced me, I hated it.
The next day my older (enlightened) daughter (age 7) told me my younger daughter (age 5) had cried the night before. My older daughter had to cover her ears.
It still saddens me to this day that he was so selfish and didn't consider our little girls.
💔
I dnn't actually know what you meant by "forced you" but I am more concerned that he did that to you than your children heard you crying. That sounds like a toxic relationship.
@@karenboyd6293
Her 5 yr old daughter had cried the night before. Not the mother
@@karenboyd6293 Yes, very toxic. Happy on my own now 🙏🌈✨🌸
Bruh how did he "force you"? Is it really that hard to say "no"? Unless he physically forced you to do it, it's the fault of both of you. Should've been more responsible and stood your ground.
The thing that will stay with me from this call - both Amanda and Dr John mentioned it - is the importance of body language. I had never thought of that but I can totally get how that makes a difference - I think a lot of people might get the right words but if the posture is kind of retreating from the conversation or it makes the child ?uneasy? in some way, I can see that countering any effect that the right words may have
The fact that Mom was so mindful about her body language, was really good. I think she is setting up her daughter for success - because her child might not be ready to talk about it (I’m sure she saw something if I’m reading between the lines right) but she didn’t let the situation go unaddressed. Some parents would be so awkward about it, they’d pretend like it never happened. But not Amanda & good on her ❤
What about from the age of 7 you repeatedly hear your mom having “joy” with many different men until the age of 18 when I left home. My brother and I repeatedly asked her to be quiet she never listened and I often wonder if I should speak to a therapist about it! It was literally sickening and traumatic. I don’t think this little girl will suffer with this her mom sounds so caring
@LM-cm5zh
Im so sorry you had to experience that. I'm sure it must've been very traumatizing. If it still bothers you then I would suggest you see a therapist. There's a big difference between growing up with married parents and a single parent, as in your case especially. I hope that things are ok between you and your mum. I pray for total healing for you. God bless you. Sending much love and hugs.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@Princess90547 thank you so much for your reply it really means a lot. I’ve thought about it and I am going to seek therapy. My relationship with her is tense to say the least and I feel I need someone to hear my story as a lot of other stuff happened too. Xx 😘
@@LM-cm5zh
You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Know that God loves you and cares about you. Trust Him. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
@@LM-cm5zh
You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Know that God loves you and cares about you. Trust Him. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
@@LM-cm5zh
You are most welcome and thank you for your reply as well. I'm glad you've decided to go for therapy. Emotional issues can carry on for a lifetime if not dealt with. When it comes to issues of the heart, forgiveness is key. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your Mum will be restored. Sometimes, if both parties are willing, it just takes a good sit down and to talk about everything, with absolute honesty, transparency, respect, and to listen in order to understand. I trust that you will find the best therapist in your town. And perhaps at some stage, if necessary, you could even bring your Mum in for a session with you. May you and her find peace with each other. I believe it's imperative to find the right person. Most important is one who's a good listener and has your best interests at heart ❤️ Take care, and all of the very best to you. Much love and hugs ❤️❤️
lol every parent's nightmare 😅. it happened to my parents - my brother remembers it but it's not all that bad. at least they know its a part of life that happens.
I think most people can relate to what the caller was talking about, it brought up a memory for me! You handled it well with sensible advice, tact and humor.
Walked in on my parents at like 7/8 & I was confused and never talked about it. As a mother now, I’d have handled it differently than my folks. This episode is actually helpful of what to do or not to do in the horrible event this were to happen. Good on Amanda for being proactive about it.
I walked in on my parents at a similar age and never told them to this day. She will have the memory but, she'll be fine.
Very respectfully handled by John, well done
As someone who walked in on my parents-she might be traumatized. Get her some therapy.
Why get a therapist involved? Be a parent.. yes literally...be apparent. Why do many young parents skip the hard talks ???
Walking in on your parents was deeply distressing? Jealous of your mom or something?
@@Dark_Souls_3wow you took something everyone would think is gross and made it veeery strange.
@@Ohboycommentsectionit's almost as if therapists can help with difficult conversations 🤔 the average person isn't equipped to deal with trauma and the child didn't simply walk in on her parents; she was there for the whole session
@@RepentImmediatelythen you pay the fees.
I got traumatised by NOT seeing my parents ever kiss or do anything sexual. Never even heard them. (They never did actually have sex) in my younger years this made me think I am asexual and thought that there was something wrong with me.
i would take her to an art therapist to help her process and heal
My house has 7 kids in it. None of them are traumatized. Kids just see things sometimes. Just tell her they were kissing and hugging and let it go.