Nah. It’s something men are forced to say in “managing women’s emotions”. Men most likely just want to get to know women, but females just straight to the title phase before any compatibility training. Women disallow men to just be honest in moments like such. We know the end result is a hard no, so we do what y’all allow us to; say “we don’t like titles” to dodge that bullet
I feel like if you grow up without seeing a healthy relationship it can easily cause you to become a pick me girl. Recieving no validation can lead you to do anything just to recieve a crumb of attention! It's hard to tell people to learn their worth (everyone must learn that at their own pace) but once you gain confidence/realize your worth, it becomes SOOOO easy to walk away from AintShit men.
Examples of a pick me: 1. Loving blindly. 2. Being loyal to single guys (dating, talking , and sex is not a rltship) 3. Buying his affection( dinners, small gifts, overextending yourself) 4. Letting him see other people. Open relationship. 5. You are charmed easily by his words and gaslighting
I been down some of these roads live and learn. I never thought of myself as a pick me I was blinded by my heart and usually a man's words and actions.
when u are the first to show interest in men ..they’ll act funny and play u cause men love the girl who makes them suffer and chase so they can satisfy their ego when they finally have u
Which I why I don’t use dating apps to talk to men. If I go out and a man is staring at me I may give him a stare here and there but if he doesn’t make the first move then he gets 0 attention from me.
Sadly, many men do. And then plenty of men complain that women do not initiate, don't encourage, don't do anything... No matter what, women get berated. Doomed if we do, doomed if we don't :)
i was watching tess christine s video yesterday and i love her and her boyfriend patrick they are so cute. So she tell how they met and basiclly she went to a party and saw him , thought he is cute and went to talk to him . And now they are getting married after 5 years of being together. Like if its about letting men chase why this kind of things happens then?
Facts. But y’all still fall for it. That’s crazy. If ur a feminist, you should stand on some type of principle. When men pursue with that weak finesse and we still get the end result, y’all look even worse cuz we know that “feminist” title is a front. We laugh at ur failures in thy capacity. We laugh at ur logic and existence for this. Recognize and don’t let ur ego allow your heart to get violated
Omg! Yes!! And then, “I don’t believe in marriage/exclusivity/conventional relationships” cause they’re going to “empower” a whole lot of other women to accept his crumbs. 🤦♀️
I broke up with my boyfriend because he expected me to be a pick me and I was not about that life he expected me to be the hunter and that ain’t my job sis
Okay, not to be rude but he sound like he might be a huge ... uhm ... “female dog”. The funny thing is, because you won’t do all the work for him, I bet that’s probably going to raise his interest in you. He’ll probably be back.
When I first met my boyfriend, he said "Why you have to be so hard, so difficult? No one has ever treated me the way you do. You need to treat me better." I said " Well, I know my worth. Maybe other women settle for less and don't have any expectations." Me being"difficult and hard," was exactly what made him fall in love with me.
Please make a video on how to be “hard to get” or more importantly, how to focus on yourself, your goals and future instead of getting distracted with a guy/men/dating etc...
Charzsi well for starters I think the issue really begins when we place these love interests on a pedestal. We assume that their attention and validation is more important than anything else going on, because the lack of self esteem creates this clinginess/dependency and obsessive need for their approval.
Shit!!!!!!!!! I just deleted the guy I REALLY like!!! This video made me do it and I’ve been wanting to for awhile!!! This is my sign from the universe
i don't know ....if all i wanted was the putang and chicks out here justifying why she giving out with no commitment or expectation treating the D like its a prize. I'd be hitting these chicks out the park way more trecherously too.
Yes, talk about the pick-me’s and bob the builders! Ladies, get out of your feelings and use your BRAIN. Watch how your life changes for the better 💕 you create your reality 😙
Yes, we do.."pick me" has ruined it for a lot of women. I have been told if you don't...somebody else will...they need us "physiologically" ..we should be making them work for it instead of giving it away.
I ust to be a pick me for 4+years l.. saw him out wit his bm and never spoked to him again. Once I let him go lost some weight got my mind right...months later I meet my now bf of 2years. He took me off the market within 3mons. Doesn’t take years for a man to know ur the one. Like u said asha there are plenty of men in the sea ..he’s not the end all be all. Wake up and know ur worth.
All these type of women are doing are letting men get away with this behavior and even rewarding them for it. Have some respect for yourself 🙄 The moment I notice a man I like is interested in someone else, I lose interest. I’m not in competition with ANYONE. Edit: I wrote this at the beginning of the video and she said all of what I just said lmao. Thank you Asha for trying to rid the world of low self esteem 🗣
That's why you need to be in legal committed relationship that will hurt him where it hurts the most (his wallet and physical health) to prevent him from cheating. yes, these days divorce laws are unfair and that's why marriage rate is dropping but when we adjust these laws to punish the cheaters and reward the victims (male or female) when we will see more stable marriages.
J Dolo “you just dont feel you not better” sorry, love i can’t understand that... maybe learn how to write before you join the internet okay sweetie? 💋
When you said 7 years 💔😢 it’s been exactly 7 years . We have 2 kids now . Can’t believe I did this to myself and life . Better late than never I guess I’m done . 😕
don't worry, you are not the only one (i also have 2 kids and waited almost 7 years to leave him)but thanksfully I learn my lesson, left him 2 years ago and ready to level up. I am going to be 25 in July.
Alot of my pick me traits come from my abandonment issues from my childhood, never being good enough,etc but ive been working on myself with the help of God, friends and therapy. Don't be afraid of going to therapy if necessary ladies 🌸
This is so me!! Just ended it, been hurting myself by constantly going over it in my head. I left myself in this situationship knowing full well he didn’t want me! Thank you for giving it to me real! Woke! Thank you
It helps to hear the honest, brutal truth sometimes. He never belonged to me, he belonged to everyone else he was dating. Never made it a point to be with me, boy bye
proving worthiness is different for men and women, that's why we, ladies, think that the more we DO for him, the more he'll love us, because it is what men should do to prove their worth. Nope. Not the case in our case.
Yes I am a pick me girl.... But I am working on this and have deleted his number its been a month of me not talking to him... Your videos have helped me not to back paddle... Thank you💖💕💖💕
I remember when I watched this earlier this year when I was seeing someone. At the start, I was this strong, smart, beautiful and unbothered woman. But then as we got to know each other, everyday that I saw him, I'd leave feeling a bit drained and a bit like I wasn't enough. Then you said, "Men never seen to forget how many woman there are in the world." That gave me a slap back to reality and I was like, hell yes. And I cut it obviously!!
I jus met a Guy this week an he said to me that the WOMAN he want he can't get HER but the woman he don't won't he can get HER..I said ok NOW we really know how to move fo sure NOW
I hope it's fast like you're being chased by zombies...in the other direction. He sounds like a incel narcissist trying his hands at trying to 'neg' you. Can't think of a worst kind of man.
@@lealeahazel8093 It's a term used by game playing dusties. It's a way of indirectly putting people down and inadvertently knocking their self-esteem. This is behavioural trait that comes naturally to narcissistic people. Lots of Black girls are unaware of this horrendous pattern and often ruin themselves trying to make themselves worthy.
Also watch out for men who try to manipulate you into chasing them. Do not text first or call first or initiate any conversation first. By being a non-pick me and remaining unbothered, you will start to see the guys who put in the effort to get you and the ones who don't. Being a non pick me brings clarity.
This was SUCH a good topic that all girls need to hear!!!! Yeeessss! I literally just went through an experience of me being a “pick me” and when things ended I felt taken advantage of. But in actuality I ignored the red flags and didn’t set the appropriate standard for the kind of guy I’m looking for.
I love your topics and conversations love! Please don't be offended, but you can take this if you want, but the blurred background kind of ruins the quality, but overall your face still glows. I just wanted to let you know
Those lashes, bold beautiful eyes and that bang resonates through our souls but most importantly ladies let the message sink in. She's got numerous points ladies. I say "don't cheat yourselves treat yourself, love yourself better than any man ever can so that when he leaves you'll still have the best love of all the love that you feel for yourself".
Geesh. You described how I use to be to a “T”. When I finally woke up to the fact, I never looked back. I, to some degree had the mindset like Cardi B, like, why expect a man to be faithful, when we’re in the age where it’s much easier to cheat...I had to stop my stinkin’ thinkin’ and began to put my faith in God, and He would bring the right one along without me trying to force it, even if that means dating outside my race😊
I’d rather refer to it as “having a heart” and being a nice person. Pick me sounds as if you’re doing all these things just to get him to want you. Granted some women do these things for that reason but there are a lot of women that are genuinely a giving caring person and they’re not actually looking to “bait” the guy. Some people do take advantage of this though so ladies I’ll say please be careful and protect yourself!
2:57 i think it‘s wrong to say a woman doesn‘t have the right to actively pursue sex. Why can‘t a woman feel pleasure too from it ? Why does society think that bs ? We need more sexually confident women
My name is Meredith, but I am certainly not going to be a “low maintenance Meredith!” Lol love you so much asha! I watch your videos now, so that when I start dating I can do it the right way.
Lol no shit shera didnt I vent this word but she definitely influenced this more than anyone else in my opinion. I was going to comment dang asha you watching shera or nah lol but who knows could be coming from her own mind .... or sheras lol
"where your focus goes your energy flows" "know your worth, then put tax on it" "dont be low maintenance meredith nor a pick me patty," "men make time for what they want" what I've learned from your channel a others
This made me mad and hurt my feelings all over again thinking about what I’ve put up with before, but good thing I snapped out of it 😌, I’m so glad you’re doing what you’re called to do ❤️❤️❤️
What's wrong with building with him? My dad's girlfriend is building with him. I think that's cute. If y'all gonna make a buisness together that's cute asf. If y'all gonna learn how a relationship works together that's cute. the problem would be building for him. Like trying to make him leave his fuckboy ways or changing his narcissistic attitude. That right there is what you don't do. After that, nothing wrong with growing, learning, and creating together with your man. Look at H3H3. Both him and his girl started at the bottom.
@Shake Zula I am agree that the Op comment wasn't good advice, but the girl making the video had some good advice. Some stuff she was saying is what my dad tells me. In a different way though.
I definitely was a pick me. I was getting used and screwed over left and right by men I dated. I finally put my foot down with my man. I told him that yes I will support him but I’m not going to bend over backwards for him doing everything he wants. I noticed that he respects me more after I put my foot down. Also fortunately I talked to my girl friends and my family who called me out and said I need to set things straight with him and get my life together. I’m so glad I’m finally waking up because my relationship is better now. I also believe that you can also be a pick me if your in a relationship or married. I was definitely a pick me in my relationship.
Yes !!! You can be a pick me being married and in a relationship for sure !!!!! No we don’t support men financially. That is their job instinctually. He needs to impress you ! Not get comfortable Bc men are always testing women to see how far they can go and what we are willing to accept. I’m glad you put your foot down! ♥️
@@AshaChristinaFoster I can't be romantically or sexually attracted to a man that I have to support financially. I can't do it. I'm not wired that way.
@@olgachafeeva2828 she can still give a compliment. I sense suxh negativity in your comment. Hers was positive l. So ehat if Asha does not want kids. Its still a compliment telling her she would make a good mom IF she became one. The word is IF. Its okay to talk about IFs when giving compliments.
Meeting up with an ex after 7 months of seperation today. I've been binge watching your videos and I am about to be all the way brand new. "We don't repeat our mistakes on this channel. We know better, we do better." 👑
Your tips made me realize to exit an abusive relationship and I found a mature, committed man. He just gave me a promise ring! Thank you for your tips and rules.
I might be divorcing in a year. After 20 years married. What is it like dating ? Is it scary at first? I feel like I would not have the desire to date for a while being that all I ever wanted was my husband. Im not motivated to start over with new people.
You had me at the physiological and biological need for men and emotional need for women (as regards sex). It can be the opposite for any gender. The reason why it’s that stereotyped way is because of social constructs that make women more comfortable to attach emotions to everything. Women can have sex for JUST biological needs if they want to and that’s all.
Men almost immediately know what kind of woman they want and what kind of women they’ll use until they find the woman they want. If he’s not trying to be exclusive; date around because he is. Don’t make yourself too available and make him pay!! Men pay for EVERYTHING and don’t feel like you have to sleep with them. You don’t have to AT ALL!! Very well done video!! I took me until my late 20s to figure this out!! Thankfully I did! Some women NEVER figure this out!
@@AshaChristinaFoster Girllll, there will be youtubers with similar contents such as yours, who are just super repetitive! You have a lovely narrative to each of your videos, alongside having unique great messages! keep up the good work!
One of the biggest myths a man tells:
“ I just don’t like titles”
Translation: I might want a girlfriend, I just don’t want it to be you.
Yup !!!!
Harsh but true
AMEN! A-DAMN IT-MEN TO ALL OF YOUR COMMENT!!!!!
Denyse Denyse I felt that sis! Amen!!
Nah. It’s something men are forced to say in “managing women’s emotions”. Men most likely just want to get to know women, but females just straight to the title phase before any compatibility training. Women disallow men to just be honest in moments like such. We know the end result is a hard no, so we do what y’all allow us to; say “we don’t like titles” to dodge that bullet
We as women just basically need to stop giving single men boyfriend privileges.
Period period period
Or even husband privileges...
Absolutely
LOL you gold diggers are just mad your stock has plummeted!
@S. sea lol k
I was a pick me. It can take a big toll on your mental health. Know your self worth ❤️
JustLovelyMe 💯
I feel like if you grow up without seeing a healthy relationship it can easily cause you to become a pick me girl. Recieving no validation can lead you to do anything just to recieve a crumb of attention! It's hard to tell people to learn their worth (everyone must learn that at their own pace) but once you gain confidence/realize your worth, it becomes SOOOO easy to walk away from AintShit men.
I was a pick me too atleast we learned our lesson!! I will not go through that again, horrible and confusing relationship.
Yes it can! Big toll..
JustLovelyMe I think I was too.
Don't be a Khloe guys~
No but seriously:/
She reminds me of khloe bff lol
hahaaaaa!!!!
Shayvideos1 yas khadijah?
Never
"Don't be so lonely, that you forget your worth" 👏
Tiffany Malloyd sza’s quaking
Ive been there
I was def a pick me , never a fucking agin. I’m too beautiful
Yes you are sis 😘
ray ray thank you❤️
Sky Todd ✨✨✨
Sky Todd sameeee 😭😭 but that’s when I was a teen
A. Dot rather be lonely than a pick me
Examples of a pick me:
1. Loving blindly.
2. Being loyal to single guys (dating, talking ,
and sex is not a rltship)
3. Buying his affection( dinners, small gifts, overextending yourself)
4. Letting him see other people. Open relationship.
5. You are charmed easily by his words and gaslighting
You’re the BEST♥️☺️
@@AshaChristinaFoster lol
Be “fake charmed” and get what you want out of him
i feel attacked
I been down some of these roads live and learn. I never thought of myself as a pick me I was blinded by my heart and usually a man's words and actions.
when u are the first to show interest in men ..they’ll act funny and play u cause men love the girl who makes them suffer and chase so they can satisfy their ego when they finally have u
Also it lets us know you don’t give it up easy, which is a turn on if he’s actually looking for a relationship
Which I why I don’t use dating apps to talk to men.
If I go out and a man is staring at me I may give him a stare here and there but if he doesn’t make the first move then he gets 0 attention from me.
Sadly, many men do. And then plenty of men complain that women do not initiate, don't encourage, don't do anything... No matter what, women get berated. Doomed if we do, doomed if we don't :)
Vindictive Violet
That’s the way to do it girl..preach 🙌🏾
i was watching tess christine s video yesterday and i love her and her boyfriend patrick they are so cute. So she tell how they met and basiclly she went to a party and saw him , thought he is cute and went to talk to him . And now they are getting married after 5 years of being together. Like if its about letting men chase why this kind of things happens then?
Rather be single than being a pick me🐥
Some men hide under the guise of 'im a feminist' to make women do things for them and chase them
Ew so dusty 😂
OMG your comment.....big facts 💯!!!! This should be in the Bible right after the 10 commandments.
Facts. But y’all still fall for it. That’s crazy. If ur a feminist, you should stand on some type of principle. When men pursue with that weak finesse and we still get the end result, y’all look even worse cuz we know that “feminist” title is a front. We laugh at ur failures in thy capacity. We laugh at ur logic and existence for this. Recognize and don’t let ur ego allow your heart to get violated
So true
Omg! Yes!! And then, “I don’t believe in marriage/exclusivity/conventional relationships” cause they’re going to “empower” a whole lot of other women to accept his crumbs. 🤦♀️
I broke up with my boyfriend because he expected me to be a pick me and I was not about that life he expected me to be the hunter and that ain’t my job sis
Felicia Baloyi yes! what is going with man now days?
💯
Okay, not to be rude but he sound like he might be a huge ... uhm ... “female dog”.
The funny thing is, because you won’t do all the work for him, I bet that’s probably going to raise his interest in you. He’ll probably be back.
can you elaborate more
Felicia Baloyi ahhh those dang libra and Virgo men lol
Former pick me here!
...these men ain't shit ! Lol
Exactly!! LOL!!Same here!
Nia M facts 😭
@THECHICAGOHONKER I think thatd pretty obvious from the initial comment lol
@THECHICAGOHONKER I'm not bitter lol just smarter than I used to be. If my so called " bitterness" bothers you, feel free to comment elsewhere:)
@THECHICAGOHONKER * your.
And I'm really not bitter. I appreciate that input that no one asked for though!
When I first met my boyfriend, he said "Why you have to be so hard, so difficult? No one has ever treated me the way you do. You need to treat me better." I said " Well, I know my worth. Maybe other women settle for less and don't have any expectations." Me being"difficult and hard," was exactly what made him fall in love with me.
Sandra Fabian period
What were u difficult about
I always smile and say "define hard and difficult".
Same!!
Why is there literally so many pick me girls in the comments, like you, not even realizing it?
Damn!!! You sounded like my dad when he told me that "he needs to love you a little more than you love him"
Midou Michaud That’s some good advice from your father!
My dad says that too
Omg, my dad says this too...
If a MAN tells you that -you should listen.
Yes!!! Men should love you more than you love them!!
Please make a video on how to be “hard to get” or more importantly, how to focus on yourself, your goals and future instead of getting distracted with a guy/men/dating etc...
Charzsi well for starters I think the issue really begins when we place these love interests on a pedestal. We assume that their attention and validation is more important than anything else going on, because the lack of self esteem creates this clinginess/dependency and obsessive need for their approval.
Facts a video on this is needed
Yaaaas please
You have to do one hobby for yourself and one hobby for others (charity).
Air five ✋
Shit!!!!!!!!! I just deleted the guy I REALLY like!!! This video made me do it and I’ve been wanting to for awhile!!! This is my sign from the universe
I blocked the guy I've liked for 4 years! IM DONE!!!!! and I'm finally ok with it!
@@bravebird4553 4 years!?!?!?!?!
@@427skies yep. 4 long wasted years. I adored him and he knew it. I just woke up one day and said I'm over it!! So glad I did. His lost!
@@bravebird4553 His loss indeed!!! Smh. I'm sorry you wasted 4 years of your life though...
Sis same lol 😂
The last guy I dealt with taught me that men would say ANYTHING
Carnisha XO same
Me too
Holy shit yes. Let the actions speak!!!
SAME! I learned the hard way.
What he say 😭
The big sister I don’t have. This channel is literally everything. Thank you.
“ you’re just a girl that’s been in his life that’s been convenient. He cares about you by default...she keeps coming around.” *Shrugs*
Some men are just pure evil smh
They're broken nd misguided with big egos tht no amount of money, sex or respect can fill...jus my experience/opinion 😒
@STONYISLANDNATIVE
That goes for your mother.
i don't know ....if all i wanted was the putang and chicks out here justifying
why she giving out with no commitment or expectation treating the D like its a prize.
I'd be hitting these chicks out the park way more trecherously too.
Anyone can be pure evil. I've seen it from all sorts.
Some of y'all ain't no better
I feel so sorry for young single women today. I wish you all the love in the world.
No need to . I'm good.
Traci....very patronizing....unfortunately some of us women didnt have the right people in our lives to show us...& its not abnormal to be human....
I know you meant well Traci, thank you.
Yes, talk about the pick-me’s and bob the builders! Ladies, get out of your feelings and use your BRAIN. Watch how your life changes for the better 💕 you create your reality 😙
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Becky Kim yes, almost daily! I feel like SheRa is raising a whole generation 😂🤔 lol so glad more women are keeping it real on UA-cam.
And sponge bobs 😂
Ii just start with self-love. Built up from the ground up. Then you won’t fall for the finesse
Bob the builders 🤣🤣🤣🤣
If women only knew truly how much power we have.....# turnthetables2k19
💯💯💯
Yes, we do.."pick me" has ruined it for a lot of women. I have been told if you don't...somebody else will...they need us "physiologically" ..we should be making them work for it instead of giving it away.
Allllrighty!
@Paul Hogue This is a gold-digging cult. The words they use don't always follow the dictionary definition, or any consistent definition of any kind.
💯💯❤❤❤
I ust to be a pick me for 4+years l.. saw him out wit his bm and never spoked to him again. Once I let him go lost some weight got my mind right...months later I meet my now bf of 2years. He took me off the market within 3mons. Doesn’t take years for a man to know ur the one. Like u said asha there are plenty of men in the sea ..he’s not the end all be all. Wake up and know ur worth.
So you're married?
Mia not wise to marry after only 4 months but a good step to marriage.....
All these type of women are doing are letting men get away with this behavior and even rewarding them for it. Have some respect for yourself 🙄 The moment I notice a man I like is interested in someone else, I lose interest. I’m not in competition with ANYONE.
Edit: I wrote this at the beginning of the video and she said all of what I just said lmao. Thank you Asha for trying to rid the world of low self esteem 🗣
PERIODDDDDDDD 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽 like I don’t care !!!!!! 🤷🏽♀️ he’s done !
This was meant for me I FEEL ATTACKED but in a good way lol
Me too, but we got this we will do better!!
Jocelyn B saaame 😂😂💔💔
Jocelyn B same girl
Lmao...
Jocelyn B same lol 😳
Sad thing is a guy can still take you off the market and still
Play the shit out of you I seen this happen to my friends
Yup! But usually they weren't shit from the beginning and you have to pay close attention because even little signs are there.
427IndigenousSkies yes
You gotta pay attention to whether they're taking you off the market for their own selfish reasons or if they're going to improve your life
Would u rather get played by someone who’s single or someone who took you off the market?
That's why you need to be in legal committed relationship that will hurt him where it hurts the most (his wallet and physical health) to prevent him from cheating. yes, these days divorce laws are unfair and that's why marriage rate is dropping but when we adjust these laws to punish the cheaters and reward the victims (male or female) when we will see more stable marriages.
This video snatched my ENTIRE life.
Mine too!
*you look so elegant and expensive and i luv it*
NanaAdwoa her style reminds me of michaela(?) from how to get away with murder, so classy i luvs it
J Dolo “you just dont feel you not better” sorry, love i can’t understand that... maybe learn how to write before you join the internet okay sweetie? 💋
@@adora8701 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣this clapback is legendary, YASSSSSSSSS
Hi pretty👏😍 New subscriber....loving this energy😚
Doesn't she!
When you said 7 years 💔😢 it’s been exactly 7 years . We have 2 kids now . Can’t believe I did this to myself and life . Better late than never I guess I’m done . 😕
You live and you learn girl. Does he want to get married?
don't worry, you are not the only one (i also have 2 kids and waited almost 7 years to leave him)but thanksfully I learn my lesson, left him 2 years ago and ready to level up. I am going to be 25 in July.
bubble gum thanks❤️🥰
Dont settle for less than what you deserve! You are a queen. Leave his ass👏🏾
@@ladiiyb You are young !
Not👏🏾one👏🏾single👏🏾lie👏🏾told. Sick and tired of these “pick-mes” justifying “men’s” bs behaviour. So many women need to start practicing self love
It doesn't stop once you become wife or gf - keep your standards and values high until your last day on Earth 💜💜
Yees
Yesss!! Plsss
Very true girrrrrrrrrrrlll otherwise he gonna keep cheating or worse hit you
"he cares about you by default" 👀
I know... my stomach folded right there!
I’ m so mad right now but i swear i’ll never get played again
I'm so mad too ....I swear I will never get played again
Alot of my pick me traits come from my abandonment issues from my childhood, never being good enough,etc but ive been working on myself with the help of God, friends and therapy. Don't be afraid of going to therapy if necessary ladies 🌸
This is so me!! Just ended it, been hurting myself by constantly going over it in my head. I left myself in this situationship knowing full well he didn’t want me! Thank you for giving it to me real! Woke! Thank you
Me to Amber 😭😭
I needed this wake up call
It helps to hear the honest, brutal truth sometimes. He never belonged to me, he belonged to everyone else he was dating. Never made it a point to be with me, boy bye
4:42 "Proving is his job, NOT yours". Sooo profound. One of the most valuable things I've learned from you thus far Asha. Thank you!
proving worthiness is different for men and women, that's why we, ladies, think that the more we DO for him, the more he'll love us, because it is what men should do to prove their worth. Nope. Not the case in our case.
"Proving is his job, NOT your" not profound at all, just really narcissistic and entitled
Why should you have to prove nothing. Does the man have to prove something just because he’s a man?
@@keiranmorrisart spoken just like a little boy.
@@througheverything Yes! That's what MANLY men do.
We need to stop giving and giving and giving
PERIODDDDDD 👸🏽
What do you give exactly?
Where are these girls who are supposedly "giving". If they existed in any significant amount, I think I would have met them by now.
Yes I am a pick me girl.... But I am working on this and have deleted his number its been a month of me not talking to him... Your videos have helped me not to back paddle... Thank you💖💕💖💕
Good job. You'll do better.
❤
Thumeka Sithole 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
“Only dead fish go with the flow” Ooooooooffff girl u woke me uppp
It’s trueeeeeee ☺️
I remember when I watched this earlier this year when I was seeing someone. At the start, I was this strong, smart, beautiful and unbothered woman. But then as we got to know each other, everyday that I saw him, I'd leave feeling a bit drained and a bit like I wasn't enough.
Then you said, "Men never seen to forget how many woman there are in the world." That gave me a slap back to reality and I was like, hell yes. And I cut it obviously!!
I jus met a Guy this week an he said to me that the WOMAN he want he can't get HER but the woman he don't won't he can get HER..I said ok NOW we really know how to move fo sure NOW
I hope it's fast like you're being chased by zombies...in the other direction. He sounds like a incel narcissist trying his hands at trying to 'neg' you. Can't think of a worst kind of man.
@@kayade5305 yeah he's history..he was so stuck on self..ugh 😝
@@kayade5305 neg?
@@lealeahazel8093 It's a term used by game playing dusties. It's a way of indirectly putting people down and inadvertently knocking their self-esteem.
This is behavioural trait that comes naturally to narcissistic people. Lots of Black girls are unaware of this horrendous pattern and often ruin themselves trying to make themselves worthy.
Oh yes! Men have to be a certain caliber and have a certain lifestyle to get the women they really want.
I’m loving this, beautiful black woman who puts herself on a pedestal 😍🌸
Also watch out for men who try to manipulate you into chasing them. Do not text first or call first or initiate any conversation first. By being a non-pick me and remaining unbothered, you will start to see the guys who put in the effort to get you and the ones who don't. Being a non pick me brings clarity.
This is yall secret
This was SUCH a good topic that all girls need to hear!!!! Yeeessss! I literally just went through an experience of me being a “pick me” and when things ended I felt taken advantage of. But in actuality I ignored the red flags and didn’t set the appropriate standard for the kind of guy I’m looking for.
Claire Garland this happen to me also never again
Girl I’m 25 and never been in a relationship but definitely taking notes thank you for these encouraging videos stay blessed❤️
You’re a baddie and I’m obsessed. I love the way you talk
When you said "Don't get Tristan Thompson'd"😂😂😂😂 you're always on point with the advice. Looking beautiful as usual
so true
What did they do?
Damn sis do we got beef?? You came for my neck AND my edges! Chaiii NO LIES were told.
"You can miss him BUT not want him back!" Damn! that hit me like a dagger to the heart! Thank you for the excellent video 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤❤❤
Relationships are like exercise. It’s sooooooo much work and not everyone is successful at reaching their goal.
I love your topics and conversations love! Please don't be offended, but you can take this if you want, but the blurred background kind of ruins the quality, but overall your face still glows. I just wanted to let you know
KrissyBeYou agreed. Or at least it’s too strong and should be reduced by like 50%
Agreed
No longer a pick me! Been single 5 yers, I refuse to settle... Period!
Those lashes, bold beautiful eyes and that bang resonates through our souls but most importantly ladies let the message sink in. She's got numerous points ladies.
I say "don't cheat yourselves treat yourself, love yourself better than any man ever can so that when he leaves you'll still have the best love of all the love that you feel for yourself".
Finally! A man in the comments who’s not a dusty!
Geesh. You described how I use to be to a “T”. When I finally woke up to the fact, I never looked back. I, to some degree had the mindset like Cardi B, like, why expect a man to be faithful, when we’re in the age where it’s much easier to cheat...I had to stop my stinkin’ thinkin’ and began to put my faith in God, and He would bring the right one along without me trying to force it, even if that means dating outside my race😊
Awww babe I love this !!!!! Wow I’m so proud of you :”)!!!!
Sheraseven1 & MichaelaPink
Do you watch them? It seems like it. They definitely speak on Pick Me’s and everything you have been talking about.
Do u watch @SheRaSeven1 cuz girl 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I think so , cause shera is the one who came up with the word
Exactly,but she claims she doesn't
I was just thinking that!!
debbielexy I don’t think Shera came up with the word, I’ve been seeing Pick Me on Twitter forever
AsheraSeven1 said these words first from what I can remember
“Low maintenance Meredith” 😂😂😂 girl I’m deadddd 💀 such valuable content!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When she said “You don’t get a man to build with, you get a man to build FOR YOU” I bout fell out of my seat 💺 THAT was a Whole word!
I’d rather refer to it as “having a heart” and being a nice person. Pick me sounds as if you’re doing all these things just to get him to want you. Granted some women do these things for that reason but there are a lot of women that are genuinely a giving caring person and they’re not actually looking to “bait” the guy. Some people do take advantage of this though so ladies I’ll say please be careful and protect yourself!
2:57 i think it‘s wrong to say a woman doesn‘t have the right to actively pursue sex. Why can‘t a woman feel pleasure too from it ? Why does society think that bs ? We need more sexually confident women
I don't think it's wise for her to pursue it, but other than that, I agree with you 100%.
"Don't try to date a single man." oof I FELT THAT ONE SIS
I love the way she always says "God loves you" at the end.
The creator of the universe loves you wholly so let no man love you half heartedly!!
My name is Meredith, but I am certainly not going to be a “low maintenance Meredith!” Lol love you so much asha! I watch your videos now, so that when I start dating I can do it the right way.
Once you stop chasing a dude, he will chase you. If he doesn't, he ain't sh*t... Period 🤗
This is @sheraseven word “pick me” I love shera😍😍😍
"dustiieeeessssss" 😂😂
No she did not coin the word “pick me”. Women have been using that word way before she started doing videos on it 🙄
"Pick me" is not Shera's word. Feminist women was using that word for years. Yes Shera uses the word a lot but NO she didn't invent the word.
😒😒😒 word been around
Lol no shit shera didnt I vent this word but she definitely influenced this more than anyone else in my opinion.
I was going to comment dang asha you watching shera or nah lol but who knows could be coming from her own mind .... or sheras lol
She said he cares about me by default 😭😭, Omg I am screaming in disgust of myself. I can'tttt
So nice of you to promote Ashera Star goddess content! Glad you’re spreading the word because this country is full of pick Mes
I wish I saw this a year ago lmfaooo
Olín Hernández Lmao same
“Don’t get Tristan Thompsoned.”
whew! a word 👌🏾
I watched this video three years ago and swore this wasn’t me& now I completely understand this was me & im the prize , Thank you love
"where your focus goes your energy flows"
"know your worth, then put tax on it"
"dont be low maintenance meredith nor a pick me patty,"
"men make time for what they want"
what I've learned from your channel a others
This made me mad and hurt my feelings all over again thinking about what I’ve put up with before, but good thing I snapped out of it 😌, I’m so glad you’re doing what you’re called to do ❤️❤️❤️
Being loyal to single men.amen!!We 'married to him' he' single af'..that was a bit unladylike of me but true. We need tough love..Thanks sis!!
“You don’t build WITH him, you get with somebody who is gonna build FOR you.” GIRL YASSS👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 AMEN‼️
A. Dot ummm k
Shake Zula exactly smh
Shake Zula Can it be half and half? Lol
What's wrong with building with him? My dad's girlfriend is building with him. I think that's cute. If y'all gonna make a buisness together that's cute asf. If y'all gonna learn how a relationship works together that's cute. the problem would be building for him. Like trying to make him leave his fuckboy ways or changing his narcissistic attitude. That right there is what you don't do.
After that, nothing wrong with growing, learning, and creating together with your man. Look at H3H3. Both him and his girl started at the bottom.
@Shake Zula I am agree that the Op comment wasn't good advice, but the girl making the video had some good advice. Some stuff she was saying is what my dad tells me. In a different way though.
You’re like the big sister I never had , ily and your advice is always on point 😭❤️
I definitely was a pick me. I was getting used and screwed over left and right by men I dated. I finally put my foot down with my man. I told him that yes I will support him but I’m not going to bend over backwards for him doing everything he wants. I noticed that he respects me more after I put my foot down. Also fortunately I talked to my girl friends and my family who called me out and said I need to set things straight with him and get my life together. I’m so glad I’m finally waking up because my relationship is better now. I also believe that you can also be a pick me if your in a relationship or married. I was definitely a pick me in my relationship.
Yes !!! You can be a pick me being married and in a relationship for sure !!!!! No we don’t support men financially. That is their job instinctually. He needs to impress you ! Not get comfortable Bc men are always testing women to see how far they can go and what we are willing to accept. I’m glad you put your foot down! ♥️
@@AshaChristinaFoster I can't be romantically or sexually attracted to a man that I have to support financially. I can't do it. I'm not wired that way.
You truly give me Nicki Minaj "Miley, what's good?" vibes! 😌
I know, right!? 😁
True 😃
Every woman needs a "Asha". Keep telling it like it is. ❤👌
Aww thank you babe ♥️
I needed to hear this. No sugar coating, just straight facts. 90% of men are like this nowadays and I’m not tolerating it anymore. I’m leveling up.
I wish someone had told be this in college lol I had to learn the hard way.
Your advice is always like a loving, caring slap in the face from a friend lol 😂 You’ll be a great mother one day as well
Maybe she doesn't want kids. Stop assuming everyone does.
@@olgachafeeva2828 she can still give a compliment. I sense suxh negativity in your comment. Hers was positive l. So ehat if Asha does not want kids. Its still a compliment telling her she would make a good mom IF she became one. The word is IF. Its okay to talk about IFs when giving compliments.
Don't worry babe if he leaves you, the man who can't handle a strong woman always run to a fucking poor pick me! You're perfect.❤️
I love how strong she is! She's not afraid to put it as it is!
Ugh I Love You lol I definitely needed this video especially with what I’m dealing with now . I was nodding my head this whole video
The advice gets realer and realer with each video and I love it
Ughhh, I was such a pick me 😭
Meeting up with an ex after 7 months of seperation today. I've been binge watching your videos and I am about to be all the way brand new.
"We don't repeat our mistakes on this channel. We know better, we do better." 👑
Your tips made me realize to exit an abusive relationship and I found a mature, committed man. He just gave me a promise ring! Thank you for your tips and rules.
"Don't be so lonely that you forget your worth!"
I’m approaching my third year in college, found myself being very distracted and I definitely needed to hear this. Thank youuu 🙌🏾. Back to the grind.
Im 30 with 3 kids from a 12 year relationship. Back in the dating world and this punched me in the chest so hard......
I might be divorcing in a year. After 20 years married. What is it like dating ? Is it scary at first? I feel like I would not have the desire to date for a while being that all I ever wanted was my husband. Im not motivated to start over with new people.
"Where your focus goes,your energy flows"💓
I love how to the point and concise you are with your advice. So many level up channel's get caught up with being quirky.
;)
You had me at the physiological and biological need for men and emotional need for women (as regards sex). It can be the opposite for any gender. The reason why it’s that stereotyped way is because of social constructs that make women more comfortable to attach emotions to everything. Women can have sex for JUST biological needs if they want to and that’s all.
Men almost immediately know what kind of woman they want and what kind of women they’ll use until they find the woman they want. If he’s not trying to be exclusive; date around because he is. Don’t make yourself too available and make him pay!! Men pay for EVERYTHING and don’t feel like you have to sleep with them. You don’t have to AT ALL!!
Very well done video!! I took me until my late 20s to figure this out!! Thankfully I did! Some women NEVER figure this out!
Sending you love asha. You are so beautiful, classy and eloquent.
It annoys me so much when people call girls pick me when they don’t even know the real definition
I love love your content. You are not passive aggressive nor are you repetitive!
Honestly This is like the ultimate compliment to a UA-camr lol ! Thank youuuuu♥️
@@AshaChristinaFoster Girllll, there will be youtubers with similar contents such as yours, who are just super repetitive! You have a lovely narrative to each of your videos, alongside having unique great messages! keep up the good work!
It is okay to be repeatative. I don't know about aggressive and passive.