I thought my dad was a compulsive liar for so long, and I was feeling hurt. Learning about confabulation has helped me so much. I still need to work on the apologizing when I did nothing wrong... that is still hard for me.
Hi @Jenngrace, this is Paula I work with Teepa, here is a great video that will help with the I'm sorry, saying your sorry when you did not do something wrong can be difficult. This video may help explain why its helpful. ua-cam.com/video/vasnp81x63E/v-deo.html
It is so hard, I know my mother has problems remembering and reasoning at this time in her life. It is just that she has always been a narcissist and has played power games. I read her winning an argument with me having to take the submissive position I had to take until grew up and distanced myself from her. I have to remember that even though she got to dominate everyone her whole life, this is not a reason to argue with her now. There is nothing personal in it now.
Hey @Nadia ?, I'm so sorry that this is so hard for you. You are right to feel that way. It sounds like you have found some ways to accept things, but if you would like to talk to someone, please contact our consulting team. We offer free 30-minute consulations. Just email consult@teepasnow.com or call 1-877-877-1671 t get connected.
If I understand correctly, I can respond to agitation with a question that restates the accusation or conflict: I don’t need to disagree or agree, but can apologize for not intending for the way the person feels… “You’re angry that I left without telling you? I never intended for you to be upset; I’m sorry!” …you don’t have to say you were wrong OR that they were wrong. That’s do-able 😊
YES!! @SaLauerman, that is exactly it - thank goodness for people like you in this world! Dementia is doing enough damage, let's protect our relationship by putting it first. Teepa's Apologies: teepasnow.com/blog/how-to-calm-an-angry-dementia-care-provider/
My husband fears for my safety or his dogs safety when I take the dog for a walk. Once lockdown opens up I’m wondering about my Christian meetings which are twice a week twenty miles fro home. He has been outside looking for me even two years ago,wondering if I was in an accident or having car trouble. Should I give him peace of mind and hook up to the meetings by zoom or phone? Or should I try to reason with him , reassuring him that I will call him hen I leave the meetings, that way he’ll know I’m ok? Is there such a thing as enabling someone’s fears?
Wow @MaryAnnHill, this sounds like a challenging situation for sure! I wonder if you would be interested in a free 30 minute consultation: teepasnow.com/services/consulting/ You can actually talk to our team and figure out what to try or at least talk through this question of safety.
One thought- if you join by Zoom, he can be part, and if he learns to trust God more, you both win! (I’m in a similar situation and joining whatever I need to be part of by video has really, really helped.)
Hi, @Lucinda Moreton, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling a bit with your mum. It sounds like mum is wanting to go home, but not recognizing where she is. That is a very common situation. We often want to look for the unmet need behind the comment, like is she hungry, lonely, etc. You may want to check out Teepa on TikTok (www.tiktok.com/@teepasnow), look at some of our store options (shop.teepasnow.com/jsf/woocommerce-archive/tax/product_tag:409/) or sign up for a free 30-minute consult (consult@teepasnow.com). Please know that you are not alone in this journey and we are here to support you.
I thought my dad was a compulsive liar for so long, and I was feeling hurt. Learning about confabulation has helped me so much. I still need to work on the apologizing when I did nothing wrong... that is still hard for me.
Hi @Jenngrace, this is Paula I work with Teepa, here is a great video that will help with the I'm sorry, saying your sorry when you did not do something wrong can be difficult. This video may help explain why its helpful. ua-cam.com/video/vasnp81x63E/v-deo.html
It is so hard, I know my mother has problems remembering and reasoning at this time in her life. It is just that she has always been a narcissist and has played power games. I read her winning an argument with me having to take the submissive position I had to take until grew up and distanced myself from her. I have to remember that even though she got to dominate everyone her whole life, this is not a reason to argue with her now. There is nothing personal in it now.
Hey @Nadia ?, I'm so sorry that this is so hard for you. You are right to feel that way. It sounds like you have found some ways to accept things, but if you would like to talk to someone, please contact our consulting team. We offer free 30-minute consulations. Just email consult@teepasnow.com or call 1-877-877-1671 t get connected.
If I understand correctly, I can respond to agitation with a question that restates the accusation or conflict:
I don’t need to disagree or agree, but can apologize for not intending for the way the person feels…
“You’re angry that I left without telling you? I never intended for you to be upset; I’m sorry!”
…you don’t have to say you were wrong OR that they were wrong. That’s do-able 😊
YES!! @SaLauerman, that is exactly it - thank goodness for people like you in this world! Dementia is doing enough damage, let's protect our relationship by putting it first.
Teepa's Apologies: teepasnow.com/blog/how-to-calm-an-angry-dementia-care-provider/
Thank you so much for making this video available.
My husband fears for my safety or his dogs safety when I take the dog for a walk. Once lockdown opens up I’m wondering about my Christian meetings which are twice a week twenty miles fro home. He has been outside looking for me even two years ago,wondering if I was in an accident or having car trouble. Should I give him peace of mind and hook up to the meetings by zoom or phone? Or should I try to reason with him , reassuring him that I will call him hen I leave the meetings, that way he’ll know I’m ok? Is there such a thing as enabling someone’s fears?
Wow @MaryAnnHill, this sounds like a challenging situation for sure! I wonder if you would be interested in a free 30 minute consultation: teepasnow.com/services/consulting/
You can actually talk to our team and figure out what to try or at least talk through this question of safety.
One thought- if you join by Zoom, he can be part, and if he learns to trust God more, you both win!
(I’m in a similar situation and joining whatever I need to be part of by video has really, really helped.)
Thank you
You are very welcome, @Alana Saint! We are happy that you found us! If you ever have more questions, check out our website: www.teepasnow.com
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I struggle with my mum who has Lewy Bodies and is house bound but wants to get a bus ticket to go "home" which is 300 miles away.
Hi, @Lucinda Moreton, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling a bit with your mum. It sounds like mum is wanting to go home, but not recognizing where she is. That is a very common situation. We often want to look for the unmet need behind the comment, like is she hungry, lonely, etc. You may want to check out Teepa on TikTok (www.tiktok.com/@teepasnow), look at some of our store options (shop.teepasnow.com/jsf/woocommerce-archive/tax/product_tag:409/) or sign up for a free 30-minute consult (consult@teepasnow.com). Please know that you are not alone in this journey and we are here to support you.
@@teepasnowvideos thank you 🙏💞