@jamielondon6436 in my country we have a saying. "God made man, Sam Colt made them equal". Guns create equality, not governments. I hope you've learned something today.
My first stalker was in kindergarten and no one took it seriously because he was also a child. He would follow me and my grandma home when she would pick me up from school and leave creepy letters in her mailbox. Everyone just called it a ‘childhood crush’ but he never stopped, he just latched onto other girls and slowly lost interest in me as the years went on. 2 years after we graduated he was arrested for s*xually a*using his little sister. Maybe people should listen to stalking victims.
Same, I had a stalker in middle school, but bc it was another kid my parents though it was a guy who had a crush and was a bit too much on trying to hit on...nobody took that seriously, it was during 4years...I'm now 36 and I have PTSD bc of that...
Its disgusting you are taken less seriously if your stalker is not an ex or someone youve been in a relationship with. Or have to wait until something escalated happens like with your incident.
The obsession that drives stalking is shocking, but oddly fits the way media traditionally portrays love. In romance movies/books people are often rewarded for their persistence, they often continue pursuing despite initial rejection, they know their soulmate immediately and based solely on a deep feeling, and even when somebody points out their irrational behavior their feelings are validated if they just hold out.
@@tempest411 yup - the movies oversell that part, but every woman is different. I have definitely encountered women who showed little interest and called me out for not chasing them and I was like "you seemed disinterested, so I didn't bother you." I'm not going to change tactics and risk bothering folks who genuinely aren't interested, but let's not pretend it's not a thing.
@@mezzb sure, I mean there's reasons that this trope exists in media to begin with. the channel "Pop Culture Detective" has excellent videos on topics like this, but from my own conjecture: One of the more benign reasons for this trope's popularity is simply that an interesting story requires conflict and persistence from the hero to overcome it, and obviously there are a million ways to bring conflict into a romance besides making the hero a creep, but in a more malignant sense, most stories in media center a male experience, and knowing the male experience is more likely to include the stalking than to include being stalked, it's potentially just a lazy but simple direction to choose for a story because it either mirrors the writer's experience (likely male) or possibly gives audiences of all genders something to relate to, considering the extent to which aspects of stalking have been accepted into our concept of romance.
I'm 35 and I have had 4 stalkers. My first stalker was when I was 16, stalked by a man in his 40s. I went to the police about all 4 and they refused to do anything about it, even when I was physically harmed. much love to the other 1/3 of women who have experienced the same!
I was stalked as a teenager. Dude kept calling me and no matter what I did, he wouldn't stop. And every time he would know another little detail abaout me. My name, my school, my address... I was so scared that he'd be standing at my front door one day. So I had a male relative pick up the phone the next time he called. It was the last time. Unbelievable...
Same. First time I was stalked was middle school. It was a series of personalized obscene phone calls. The voice sounded like a grown man’s. I wondered if it was someone I interacted with regularly. Creepy and scary.
Hey, in all seriousness, I'm so sorry you lived through that, Anna. Thank you for covering it in a way that will reach an audience that hopefully is listening
Having lost someone very close to me to a stalker more than 30 years ago, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I hope you've got solid support. Best wishes for a successful (and safe) tour!
When I heard the 1/3 statistic, I was like, wow, I'm glad I'm not one of them! But then I realized... I think I am 😬 I just didn't realize it because none of these events rose to this level of scariness, but I've definitely had multiple boys/men follow me, whether it was at school, out in public, online, or even following me home. I'm grateful that all of the experiences I've had were short-lived, and only one or two of them made me feel scared.
The fact you were able to very well articulate a very dangerous problem in our society in a comedic way has impressed me. I feel like a failure after failing to stop a friend from stalking because i just didnt know how to explain it gracefully. That Friendship has ended but im glad you have brought awareness to something very very real, and glad youre safe. I truly hope someone is listening. Keep your accounts private people. There are lurkers watching!
My brother was stalked by a high school friend, she at one point was staring at him through our backyard window when he...never told her our address. It is creepy and scary
That’s insane bro. I had somewhat of a stalker back in highschool but in her defence she had many mental illnesses and she was a great person at face value. She’s been sent to the psych ward a couple times in recent years, I try to reach out to her but she lost interest in me a long time ago.
How saddening that this is somewhat common. I was followed home multiple times, but even online it’s a thing. A guild leader of a cute online MMORPG I play stalked me in game after I blocked him, quit his guild, and even change my username. Even after all that, he still found me and talked to my new friends and guild member. 💀 Some people are unhinged.
On another note, stalking is really scary stuff. I get flashbacks to all the stories I read and watched about women being murdered by dudes with fragile egos and their unhealthy obsessions
@@benikoniko6167 It is very concerning to think about :/ Maybe we can build some cool new towns with only like minded friends. And police who actually care about protecting the people.
Currently being stalked by an apartment mate and am wondering if she's the reason I have food poisoning so bad that it caused internal bleeding. She's jealously obsessive, steals my things, won't leave me alone, and freaks out whenever I try to leave the apartment or spend time with friends. Being stalked is miserable. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Anna. Love your content! Please stay safe!
Holy heck. That's a bad situation. Yeah I'm not saying she caused your food poisoning but it certainly would be congruent with the other behaviors you describe. Are you able to control the chain of custody of your food until you can get out of there? I hope you have good peer support for a safe exit plan. Best of luck
@@ItsAsparageese Thank you, it's rough since I am busy most of the day and cannot be monitoring the refrigerator most of the time. I have taken to preparing a lot of my food from fresh ingredients and washing and cooking it thoroughly. Also, in the event that I need to store leftovers I wrap it in plastic and trace a marker over it so I know if it has been opened. Despite all of this, I still got sick...twice in the span of a week so far. I do have open cartons of milk and a Brita filter though so I know there would be other ways to poison me. It's a very frustrating situation
@@butterbeans103 Yeah that's still way too vulnerable a situation. There are plenty of ways someone could poison you regardless of washing or cooking, even if you didn't also have liquid reservoirs for incredibly easy targets. If you can possibly just eat takeout for a while, and not store any food in the apartment at all, that would be best. Good luck with everything
When I was 19, I engaged in behavior that I now recognize as stalking and I've regretted it deeply ever since. I wish I could tell my past self "Stop! Can't you see you're harming this person? You will regret it for the rest of your life." But since I can't, all I can do is learn from the mistakes of my past and never do it again.
Good job, and I'm glad you chose to share this. It's INCREDIBLY important for society at large to start realizing that most socially maladjusted behavior is a result of illness or ignorance or simple confusion, and that we need to treat perpetrators with compassion and education (up to a point of course) and not just go "anyone who ever does any amount of XYZ is Other and Inherently Evil and Beyond Help" like so many tend to do. Stalkers are humans, and the vast vast vast majority of humans don't actually WANT to scare or harm anyone. Props on your growth, and I hope your comment helps others learn that growth is possible, for themselves and for others who do certain (most) kinds of wrongs.
I was stalked for 3 years after I dated a guy 11 years older than me for 1.5 years when I was 20. I was straight up groomed into that relationship. It was so so so scary THE WHOLE TIME.
I remember catching that show when you came to Raleigh NC. The way you walked such a fine line between serious and stitches was amazing. Dark and funny are perfect adjectives for it. You truly exemplify the concept of Yin Yang. And I felt that 1/6 statistic for men. I rarely faced it myself, but part of it is because my physique has always been so big and imposing that a lot of people were afraid to come near me most of my life. One time feel like I did face it, I was in college coming home from a late night course and got persistently haggled by a pair of Mormon evangelists who would not leave me alone no matter how much I tried to break off the talk while being too nervous to say anything directly along the lines. The time and the location felt so weird to me, but I was too socially anxious to stand up for myself.
@@maryamw-d7l very real. I was heartbroken because I was supposed to get back with her after not seeing her for about 20 years. The only reason we broke up in our early 20s was we wanted different colleges and lives at the time. we reconnected a few years ago and planned on getting back together. Two weeks after I was ready to move to her state and live with her I found out from a mutual friend she had been murdered by a guy who wouldn't take "no for an answer. A month after he killed her, he hung himself.
@@maryamw-d7l very for real. I was heartbroken, because we were supposed to get back together. Two weeks after I was supposed to move to her state and live with her, I found out from a mutual friend that she was murdered by a stalker she had actually told me about. A month after he killed her he hung himself.
Iti’s really terrifying to feel that, whenever you break up with a man you were getting to know, thisis a real concern. I just broke up with a man who didn’t seem “dangerous” bur he definitely had some self-esteem issues and rejection issues and I definitely felt some level of violence in the words he used to describe partners or women who displeased him. He blocked me everywhere but today I was watching who had watched my ig stories and I saw some unknown profile with 0 followers… my instant thought was “could this be him?” “Could he be stalking me?” and immediately switched to a personal account, so my stories are not there for anyone to watch. I started replaying our interactions to have a grasp on how much he knows about my routines and whereabouts… feeling a bit uneasy. It’s sad that we have to go through this.
I think you overreacted a bit ngl. Your only evidence of a stalker is an alt account. Keep in mind he blocked you, if he didn’t block you he’d still have access to see your public stories so either way anyone and everyone will see what you post. If you physically saw him stalking you then that’s a different story but to see an alt account then immediately question if he knows your daily routine is just paranoia. That alt account probably is him, but maybe he just misses you but didn’t want to unblock you. A girl did that to me once, I blocked her on everything then she showed up few months later with an alt account watching my stories. I knew the account was her so I texted her and she said she misses me, perfectly understandable imo
Well, unfortunately bad news happen every single day. The cost of me not “overreacting” and giving the benefit of the doubt to someone I barely knew is way higher than the “cost” of switching to a private account.
@@aenese34 I will agree it is better to be safe than sorry, but you should always be conscious of your choices and can’t let fear guide you to unrealistic conclusions. People with traumas for example are the most difficult to associate with because they’re usually always paranoid of everyone and everything around them. At that level you’re no longer in control of your thoughts, you’re guided by fear.
I'm sorry that you have been through this Anna. You seem like such a beautiful person on the inside and out. It pains me to think of someone meaning you harm.
The laws, enforcement, and lack of rehabilitation/education around stalking is the reason we're all struggling to find love and connect with our communities. It's a more serious issue than anyone realizes--including even victims of stalking. Think about it: the reason you, as a woman (majority), have to stay so conservative that you ignore most men and hide is because, after getting stalked a few times, "it's not worth the risk" to even engage, which only accelerates the problem that these men--but affecting ALL men--get more frustrated and never learn what they need to do to find the love and attention they seek.
Other than the "please don't kill yourself" vid' I first watched over a decade ago (which is what first got me into your channel), I've never clicked on one of your vids so fast. Hope you and yours are safe. Can't imagine how terrifying that situation is. = /
I had a stalker who was an ex doing so to get revenge for the breakup. If you have ever seen the Forensic Files episode "Sealed With a Kiss" this was something of a copycat (happened a few months after the trial in the case and we live in the region.) The worst was that everyone, including my own family wanted to believe that I did it even when the last letter gave me an airtight alibi (I wasn't present at the event described and instead was at an amusement park halfway across the state that day.)
It was hard to imagine the horrors of stalking until it happened to a good friend of mine. She has been stalked for about six years now from her early 20s. It was a friend that she knew in a gaming group who she tried to help as he was extremely shy and isolated. Once he became attached, it escalated to obsessive behavior and attempts to isolate her by destroying the group. Then, it escalated to violent behavior, throwing tantrums and destroying property. She was able to get away and closed all of her social media, but he still shows up online with fake identities, sometimes even impersonating mutual friends. This is a real issue.
I recently got to see you live on your tour and you talked about this. Your show was hilarious and fantastic, please come back again!💖💕 It was really heartbreaking to find out you'd been doing stand-up for years until 2018 because of your stalker, I had no idea. You have such a talent for performance and comedy.
We also live in a society that is better at protecting the perpetrators than the victims. It isn't taken seriously at all with our legal system, so law enforcement has their hands tied even if they personally take your situation seriously!
I now work at a call center that , among other things, takes calls from police to confirm if people have restraining orders. So they check with us before they remove an abuser or stalker. So having a current and valid restraining order is a must. Because legally, I can't tell a cop that this guy has a restraining order against him if that order doesn't have you listed as a protectee. So get yours, your kids, and your family members' names on there. That said, police can issue what is called an "under taking" on the scene to act as a temporary restraining order and that could lead to a permanent one. So there are options. Big asterisk: These are the laws up in Canada. I dunno what it is in the US or anywhere else.
I'm so sorry you have had to deal with stalkers.. People need help to deal with whatever it is that makes them do those kinds of things.. Also cool show! I hope i can get to see you one day, but living in a small country in Europe its probs not gonna happen haha! i support and cheer you on at a distance! WOO GIRL!!
I stalked an ex girlfriend when I was a boy. Turning up where I knew she would be and stuff. I was messed up and after a shrink helped me get a handle on it I got an idea of how much damage it does. I’d love to apologise to them but that’s just more stalking man. I learned the best thing to do is just stop and go away. If someone doesn’t want you around: don’t be. Once you actually get an idea of how much damage you’ve done and you’re so sorry and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to make it better. Except live with it and try and educate others.
I found out the other day that this guy I worked with for like 2 weeks 5 or 6 years ago is somehow keeping up with who my friends are and gave my new coworker free pizza last week. My new coworker ordered a pizza and the old coworker was the delivery driver. He said something like "Since you know Gene I'm just going to give you this for free." It isn't threatening but I've been really uncomfortable about it since then
Okay, but we need to address capitalism that the safety measures in this modern-day world with its modern-day problems costs money. Money should not be a barrier to personal safety in a civilized society. A civilized society should also not have the statistics of 1 and 3 women and one in six men being victims of stalking before the age of 25. A civilized society would teach healthy relationship Dynamics and communication skills in public grade school.
"Bestie" is such a cool character, and this format is so much fun. (although I have to admit it sometimes stings a bit when you hold a mirror up to my gender. lol)
I was stalked by a man who turned out to be a s*x offender and he was re-arrested for breaking his probation. Ten years later I am still looking over my shoulder - my heart goes out to anyone experiencing this or who has experienced being stalked.
As a 6''2' male, I remember being pretty scared being stalked by this intense 5''5' woman. I can't even imagine how it feels if it's the other way round...
Your jokes are on point, as always. I would support your stand-up, but I don't live anywhere near the locations you'll be heading. I enjoy your adept skill at making serious topics less serious, while providing information and not disrespecting other's experiences. It's a very unique comedic style, and I'm totally here for it.
I am a man and I had a female stalker. She wasn't scary, just a bit angry and mixed up. She used to turn up at reception at work, phone me at work using false names to get through, she broke into my flat when I wasn't there and did some weird disturbing cooking. Eventually the police took her away and she got some mental health treatment. She showed up again with her care worker a few months later and the three of us sat and had a nice cordial chat. I never saw her again after that, hope she's doing well.
There are some terrible humans around.Much trouble starts with the mental health. The mind, in this case thought, is taken serious by people all over. No one teaches their children” beware of your own thoughts ,they can not touch reality”
I was on this notification SO FAST knowing either some awesome advice was about to be dropped, or we were about to drop somebody. What a great sponsor!
This makes me feel better about the time in like 2012 i went to amoeba music and walked past Anna Akana with her boyfriend on the street and didn't say anything.
Been stalked twice, once in person ( before stalking was recognized as a real threat) and once online. It’s such a weird, uncomfortable experience, having someone you barely know be obsessed with you. The nice part about getting old and fat is leaving THAT threat behind.
tour link is showing 404, fyi. If you want to see her show, head to the site and click on the tour button. Totally worth seeing in person (thanks for coming to Nashville!)
You joked about the woman, but I had a female stalker. Not at all as common as male stalkers, but they can be just as scary and are not to be underestimated 😬 I thought she was my friend, but she was not. My guess is she was struggling with abandonment and was maybe in the closet and felt some type of way about me being out and bi. She was like... rageful yet interested in me??? I have no idea - it was very strange and scary in hind sight.
Just finished watching "Play Misty, for Me", I still can't imagine what it must be like, hope you have plenty of support around you. Wish I could do more. 🤗🤗🤗
I had someone stalking me for years after breaking up. We met when I was their customer and they had all my personal details violated, they were stalking where I am, if I changed my phone, my address, everything! Every time I decided to do something I was receiving a threating message from them saying that they know what I am about to do and they will follow me for ever. I still have panic attacks when I see an unknown number.
Wow, that incogni even manifested to deal with that situation is crazy. That there is a whole industry and consumer base out there for mining personal data for nefarious reasons makes the world seem very unsettling. Personal experience of stalking was of emotional instability overpowering reason but this is a whole different ballgame and psychological pathway of premeditation and intent to harm. What a horrible and unfair world. I'm other news, my dog is great!
Is it stalking when a girl finds out where you live, does a background check on you, finds your workplace and shows up to say hi, then comes to your house and tells you to sleep with her or she'll call police and falsely claim you graped her?
I heard about compartmentalization in computer systems with the help of virtual machines to increase security by adding a layer instead of putting your main system being exposed to outside threats. Now i realize that humans used it well before entering the digital world and you know what? it makes sense. to everyone reading this, take care all! :)
"double ptsd, what is that ppttssdd" I burst out lauphing.
Double D
same
I wanna see the blooper reel for that
love it
Omg. And I wonder how many times it took to say correctly
I heard countless of stalker stories and what’s the most scary & frustrating is the law enforcement won’t do anything unless you’re hurt.
My stalker stabbed me and they still didn't really do anything (because he was wealthy and I didn't die). So. There's that!
@@BanthaWorship That's fucked up. :-(
2nd amendment is for a reason, duh...
@@MendedPerspective To protect stalkers?
@jamielondon6436 in my country we have a saying. "God made man, Sam Colt made them equal". Guns create equality, not governments. I hope you've learned something today.
My first stalker was in kindergarten and no one took it seriously because he was also a child. He would follow me and my grandma home when she would pick me up from school and leave creepy letters in her mailbox. Everyone just called it a ‘childhood crush’ but he never stopped, he just latched onto other girls and slowly lost interest in me as the years went on. 2 years after we graduated he was arrested for s*xually a*using his little sister. Maybe people should listen to stalking victims.
When people make excuses for bad behavior, the person doing it will not recognize it as bad.
Sadly the only way he could go was worse.
Same, I had a stalker in middle school, but bc it was another kid my parents though it was a guy who had a crush and was a bit too much on trying to hit on...nobody took that seriously, it was during 4years...I'm now 36 and I have PTSD bc of that...
America NEVER listens to women. Look who they voted for for President, ffs
Now I wonder how many stalkers started this behavior in early like that???
Its disgusting you are taken less seriously if your stalker is not an ex or someone youve been in a relationship with. Or have to wait until something escalated happens like with your incident.
The obsession that drives stalking is shocking, but oddly fits the way media traditionally portrays love. In romance movies/books people are often rewarded for their persistence, they often continue pursuing despite initial rejection, they know their soulmate immediately and based solely on a deep feeling, and even when somebody points out their irrational behavior their feelings are validated if they just hold out.
yeah
Especially in Indian films (Bollywood)
I talked to a girl once that was disappointed with me because I was NOT stalking her.
@@tempest411 yup - the movies oversell that part, but every woman is different. I have definitely encountered women who showed little interest and called me out for not chasing them and I was like "you seemed disinterested, so I didn't bother you." I'm not going to change tactics and risk bothering folks who genuinely aren't interested, but let's not pretend it's not a thing.
@@mezzb sure, I mean there's reasons that this trope exists in media to begin with.
the channel "Pop Culture Detective" has excellent videos on topics like this, but from my own conjecture:
One of the more benign reasons for this trope's popularity is simply that an interesting story requires conflict and persistence from the hero to overcome it, and obviously there are a million ways to bring conflict into a romance besides making the hero a creep, but in a more malignant sense, most stories in media center a male experience, and knowing the male experience is more likely to include the stalking than to include being stalked, it's potentially just a lazy but simple direction to choose for a story because it either mirrors the writer's experience (likely male) or possibly gives audiences of all genders something to relate to, considering the extent to which aspects of stalking have been accepted into our concept of romance.
1:16 “Listen, bestie, the choices are laugh or cry and I just did my makeup.” Mood!
I'm 35 and I have had 4 stalkers. My first stalker was when I was 16, stalked by a man in his 40s. I went to the police about all 4 and they refused to do anything about it, even when I was physically harmed. much love to the other 1/3 of women who have experienced the same!
"OMG thats so much admin" I relate to that so much
I was stalked as a teenager. Dude kept calling me and no matter what I did, he wouldn't stop. And every time he would know another little detail abaout me. My name, my school, my address... I was so scared that he'd be standing at my front door one day. So I had a male relative pick up the phone the next time he called. It was the last time. Unbelievable...
How old was the stalker?!
Same. First time I was stalked was middle school. It was a series of personalized obscene phone calls. The voice sounded like a grown man’s. I wondered if it was someone I interacted with regularly. Creepy and scary.
Anna being her own bestie is one of the best thing ever and more people should do that.
Love yourself, people.
me waiting for netflix to give this woman a standup special because i live in bangladesh and can't go to her shows
They're too busy giving specials to racist, homophobic, and transphobic comedians so they can whine about being canceled for an hour.
@@Wintermute01001 boy, must you be the live of every party... 😀
I live in Tucumán Argentina
*waiting in german*
That feeling of being unsafe. What a primal feeling. It isn’t talked enough or what a privilege it is to feel safe. I love that she mentioned it
The nod you give after "Bestie" acknowledges you are playing both parts might be one of the funniest things I've seen.
Hey, in all seriousness, I'm so sorry you lived through that, Anna. Thank you for covering it in a way that will reach an audience that hopefully is listening
Having lost someone very close to me to a stalker more than 30 years ago, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I hope you've got solid support. Best wishes for a successful (and safe) tour!
When I heard the 1/3 statistic, I was like, wow, I'm glad I'm not one of them! But then I realized... I think I am 😬 I just didn't realize it because none of these events rose to this level of scariness, but I've definitely had multiple boys/men follow me, whether it was at school, out in public, online, or even following me home. I'm grateful that all of the experiences I've had were short-lived, and only one or two of them made me feel scared.
Following you home 💔 I’m sorry! The fact the behaviors are so normalized we don’t recognize them is a bit of a different realization for me
-“THEY’RE OBSESSED WITH ME.”..😹😹😹-
1:56 I actually constantly forget because your acting is so good, it felt really weird to be reminded that this is just one person
I really appreciate that you even briefly acknowledged that this happens to men as well. Less frequently, but any is more than should happen.
The fact you were able to very well articulate a very dangerous problem in our society in a comedic way has impressed me. I feel like a failure after failing to stop a friend from stalking because i just didnt know how to explain it gracefully. That Friendship has ended but im glad you have brought awareness to something very very real, and glad youre safe. I truly hope someone is listening. Keep your accounts private people. There are lurkers watching!
I felt like it was a leftist meme type situation, if you want to be a comedian you can't be writing a short story it has to be funny quick.
My brother was stalked by a high school friend, she at one point was staring at him through our backyard window when he...never told her our address. It is creepy and scary
@@ajregalia1334 that's really creepy... wonder what's going on I their heads... they need to see a doctor
That’s insane bro. I had somewhat of a stalker back in highschool but in her defence she had many mental illnesses and she was a great person at face value.
She’s been sent to the psych ward a couple times in recent years, I try to reach out to her but she lost interest in me a long time ago.
"Honestly, it's mostly bugs." I feel that.
Can confirm the stalker story from her stand up show is both dark and very funny.
PPTTSSDD 😂
PTSD squared
The way she just rattled that off so casually too LOL
lol forget CPTSD
Wicked good joke
This girl's jokes are top tier.
“The choices are laugh or cry and I just did my makeup”
💀💀💀
How saddening that this is somewhat common. I was followed home multiple times, but even online it’s a thing. A guild leader of a cute online MMORPG I play stalked me in game after I blocked him, quit his guild, and even change my username. Even after all that, he still found me and talked to my new friends and guild member. 💀 Some people are unhinged.
The 😛 sent me
On another note, stalking is really scary stuff. I get flashbacks to all the stories I read and watched about women being murdered by dudes with fragile egos and their unhealthy obsessions
@@benikoniko6167 It is very concerning to think about :/ Maybe we can build some cool new towns with only like minded friends. And police who actually care about protecting the people.
😝
Best part 😜
Right!!!😂
Currently being stalked by an apartment mate and am wondering if she's the reason I have food poisoning so bad that it caused internal bleeding. She's jealously obsessive, steals my things, won't leave me alone, and freaks out whenever I try to leave the apartment or spend time with friends. Being stalked is miserable. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Anna. Love your content! Please stay safe!
Holy heck. That's a bad situation. Yeah I'm not saying she caused your food poisoning but it certainly would be congruent with the other behaviors you describe. Are you able to control the chain of custody of your food until you can get out of there? I hope you have good peer support for a safe exit plan. Best of luck
That's not stalking - that's a full-on abusive relationship. When's your lease up and can you get out sooner than that?
She may literally be poisoning you, please do what you can to protect yourself and escape before she causes more permanent damage to you
@@ItsAsparageese Thank you, it's rough since I am busy most of the day and cannot be monitoring the refrigerator most of the time. I have taken to preparing a lot of my food from fresh ingredients and washing and cooking it thoroughly. Also, in the event that I need to store leftovers I wrap it in plastic and trace a marker over it so I know if it has been opened. Despite all of this, I still got sick...twice in the span of a week so far. I do have open cartons of milk and a Brita filter though so I know there would be other ways to poison me. It's a very frustrating situation
@@butterbeans103 Yeah that's still way too vulnerable a situation. There are plenty of ways someone could poison you regardless of washing or cooking, even if you didn't also have liquid reservoirs for incredibly easy targets. If you can possibly just eat takeout for a while, and not store any food in the apartment at all, that would be best. Good luck with everything
When I was 19, I engaged in behavior that I now recognize as stalking and I've regretted it deeply ever since. I wish I could tell my past self "Stop! Can't you see you're harming this person? You will regret it for the rest of your life." But since I can't, all I can do is learn from the mistakes of my past and never do it again.
Good job, and I'm glad you chose to share this. It's INCREDIBLY important for society at large to start realizing that most socially maladjusted behavior is a result of illness or ignorance or simple confusion, and that we need to treat perpetrators with compassion and education (up to a point of course) and not just go "anyone who ever does any amount of XYZ is Other and Inherently Evil and Beyond Help" like so many tend to do. Stalkers are humans, and the vast vast vast majority of humans don't actually WANT to scare or harm anyone. Props on your growth, and I hope your comment helps others learn that growth is possible, for themselves and for others who do certain (most) kinds of wrongs.
@@ItsAsparageese Thank you.
MY 7TH STALKERSHIP 👁👁🎀✨️💅🏼
I was stalked for 3 years after I dated a guy 11 years older than me for 1.5 years when I was 20. I was straight up groomed into that relationship. It was so so so scary THE WHOLE TIME.
I am so sorry for this experience :(
I remember catching that show when you came to Raleigh NC. The way you walked such a fine line between serious and stitches was amazing. Dark and funny are perfect adjectives for it. You truly exemplify the concept of Yin Yang. And I felt that 1/6 statistic for men. I rarely faced it myself, but part of it is because my physique has always been so big and imposing that a lot of people were afraid to come near me most of my life.
One time feel like I did face it, I was in college coming home from a late night course and got persistently haggled by a pair of Mormon evangelists who would not leave me alone no matter how much I tried to break off the talk while being too nervous to say anything directly along the lines. The time and the location felt so weird to me, but I was too socially anxious to stand up for myself.
My ex was murdered by her stalker, and my female stalkers have either tried to kill me or ruined my life.
Wait...for real or are you being sarcastic?
@@maryamw-d7l very real. I was heartbroken because I was supposed to get back with her after not seeing her for about 20 years. The only reason we broke up in our early 20s was we wanted different colleges and lives at the time. we reconnected a few years ago and planned on getting back together. Two weeks after I was ready to move to her state and live with her I found out from a mutual friend she had been murdered by a guy who wouldn't take "no for an answer. A month after he killed her, he hung himself.
@@maryamw-d7l very for real. I was heartbroken, because we were supposed to get back together. Two weeks after I was supposed to move to her state and live with her, I found out from a mutual friend that she was murdered by a stalker she had actually told me about. A month after he killed her he hung himself.
@@maryamw-d7l What makes you think he's being sarcastic?
@@ajregalia1334 🤷 Probably hope for humanity. But it only takes a few to ruin a reputation for most. 🙁
Iti’s really terrifying to feel that, whenever you break up with a man you were getting to know, thisis a real concern. I just broke up with a man who didn’t seem “dangerous” bur he definitely had some self-esteem issues and rejection issues and I definitely felt some level of violence in the words he used to describe partners or women who displeased him. He blocked me everywhere but today I was watching who had watched my ig stories and I saw some unknown profile with 0 followers… my instant thought was “could this be him?” “Could he be stalking me?” and immediately switched to a personal account, so my stories are not there for anyone to watch. I started replaying our interactions to have a grasp on how much he knows about my routines and whereabouts… feeling a bit uneasy. It’s sad that we have to go through this.
I think you overreacted a bit ngl. Your only evidence of a stalker is an alt account.
Keep in mind he blocked you, if he didn’t block you he’d still have access to see your public stories so either way anyone and everyone will see what you post.
If you physically saw him stalking you then that’s a different story but to see an alt account then immediately question if he knows your daily routine is just paranoia.
That alt account probably is him, but maybe he just misses you but didn’t want to unblock you.
A girl did that to me once, I blocked her on everything then she showed up few months later with an alt account watching my stories. I knew the account was her so I texted her and she said she misses me, perfectly understandable imo
Well, unfortunately bad news happen every single day. The cost of me not “overreacting” and giving the benefit of the doubt to someone I barely knew is way higher than the “cost” of switching to a private account.
@@Rockyroad321 This is very much giving "Damn, I feel called out for my stalker behavior. Quick, better tell them they're the problem!".
@@aenese34 You totally did the right thing and Gavin de Becker (the author of The Gift of Fear) would agree with you.
@@aenese34 I will agree it is better to be safe than sorry, but you should always be conscious of your choices and can’t let fear guide you to unrealistic conclusions.
People with traumas for example are the most difficult to associate with because they’re usually always paranoid of everyone and everything around them. At that level you’re no longer in control of your thoughts, you’re guided by fear.
I'm sorry that you have been through this Anna. You seem like such a beautiful person on the inside and out. It pains me to think of someone meaning you harm.
The turn and nod to the camera that it's both you. I want to cry watching this, btw
I said this once and ill say it again: these besties are the funniest anna videos TO DATE
"Because I never go outside...I don't knowww" epic delivery, ngl.
The laws, enforcement, and lack of rehabilitation/education around stalking is the reason we're all struggling to find love and connect with our communities. It's a more serious issue than anyone realizes--including even victims of stalking. Think about it: the reason you, as a woman (majority), have to stay so conservative that you ignore most men and hide is because, after getting stalked a few times, "it's not worth the risk" to even engage, which only accelerates the problem that these men--but affecting ALL men--get more frustrated and never learn what they need to do to find the love and attention they seek.
The breaking of the 4th wall is amazing!! Well that and the "😛"! Also, stalking is bad!
Anna still making quality skits with awesome advice..even on turkey day! #StayAwesomeGotham
Happy Holidays Anna Akana
love your work. that was a serious subject done in such a hilarious way. keep it up.
Other than the "please don't kill yourself" vid' I first watched over a decade ago (which is what first got me into your channel), I've never clicked on one of your vids so fast. Hope you and yours are safe. Can't imagine how terrifying that situation is. = /
I'm subbing to boost content like this. This is legit good information that some people really need to hear. Thanks for making it.
I’ve been stalked too. It’s….eerie to say the least. The Gift of Fear is a great book to anyone currently facing the issue.
Anna is so funny at serious topics, I feel almost bad laughing
I had a stalker who was an ex doing so to get revenge for the breakup. If you have ever seen the Forensic Files episode "Sealed With a Kiss" this was something of a copycat (happened a few months after the trial in the case and we live in the region.) The worst was that everyone, including my own family wanted to believe that I did it even when the last letter gave me an airtight alibi (I wasn't present at the event described and instead was at an amusement park halfway across the state that day.)
It was hard to imagine the horrors of stalking until it happened to a good friend of mine. She has been stalked for about six years now from her early 20s. It was a friend that she knew in a gaming group who she tried to help as he was extremely shy and isolated. Once he became attached, it escalated to obsessive behavior and attempts to isolate her by destroying the group. Then, it escalated to violent behavior, throwing tantrums and destroying property. She was able to get away and closed all of her social media, but he still shows up online with fake identities, sometimes even impersonating mutual friends. This is a real issue.
I was just wondering how to take my private information off the internet in an easy way and was so lost on where to go to do that. Thank you!
lmao the "ahhh"s are fuckin killin me lol
I recently got to see you live on your tour and you talked about this. Your show was hilarious and fantastic, please come back again!💖💕 It was really heartbreaking to find out you'd been doing stand-up for years until 2018 because of your stalker, I had no idea. You have such a talent for performance and comedy.
We also live in a society that is better at protecting the perpetrators than the victims. It isn't taken seriously at all with our legal system, so law enforcement has their hands tied even if they personally take your situation seriously!
Stay safe, Anna!
I now work at a call center that , among other things, takes calls from police to confirm if people have restraining orders. So they check with us before they remove an abuser or stalker. So having a current and valid restraining order is a must. Because legally, I can't tell a cop that this guy has a restraining order against him if that order doesn't have you listed as a protectee. So get yours, your kids, and your family members' names on there.
That said, police can issue what is called an "under taking" on the scene to act as a temporary restraining order and that could lead to a permanent one. So there are options.
Big asterisk: These are the laws up in Canada. I dunno what it is in the US or anywhere else.
I'm so sorry you have had to deal with stalkers.. People need help to deal with whatever it is that makes them do those kinds of things..
Also cool show! I hope i can get to see you one day, but living in a small country in Europe its probs not gonna happen haha! i support and cheer you on at a distance! WOO GIRL!!
I haven't been here in 5 years. Your editing has come a long way 👏
I like the bestie character of hers
I stalked an ex girlfriend when I was a boy. Turning up where I knew she would be and stuff. I was messed up and after a shrink helped me get a handle on it I got an idea of how much damage it does. I’d love to apologise to them but that’s just more stalking man. I learned the best thing to do is just stop and go away. If someone doesn’t want you around: don’t be. Once you actually get an idea of how much damage you’ve done and you’re so sorry and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to make it better. Except live with it and try and educate others.
I found out the other day that this guy I worked with for like 2 weeks 5 or 6 years ago is somehow keeping up with who my friends are and gave my new coworker free pizza last week. My new coworker ordered a pizza and the old coworker was the delivery driver. He said something like "Since you know Gene I'm just going to give you this for free." It isn't threatening but I've been really uncomfortable about it since then
This is both amazing, saddening and informative
Okay, but we need to address capitalism that the safety measures in this modern-day world with its modern-day problems costs money. Money should not be a barrier to personal safety in a civilized society.
A civilized society should also not have the statistics of 1 and 3 women and one in six men being victims of stalking before the age of 25. A civilized society would teach healthy relationship Dynamics and communication skills in public grade school.
"Bestie" is such a cool character, and this format is so much fun. (although I have to admit it sometimes stings a bit when you hold a mirror up to my gender. lol)
I was stalked by a man who turned out to be a s*x offender and he was re-arrested for breaking his probation. Ten years later I am still looking over my shoulder - my heart goes out to anyone experiencing this or who has experienced being stalked.
As a 6''2' male, I remember being pretty scared being stalked by this intense 5''5' woman.
I can't even imagine how it feels if it's the other way round...
the love you put into your videos can be felt❤❤
i'm so sorry that you have been stalked and might be going through that right now.... that is so scary.
What a great channel! Glad I found it!
The best friend dress is so cute!! Anna your videos are always so on point! 😊
Im in the 1/6 men that's been stalked. My stalker has sent me messages everyday for the past 4 years.
Your jokes are on point, as always. I would support your stand-up, but I don't live anywhere near the locations you'll be heading. I enjoy your adept skill at making serious topics less serious, while providing information and not disrespecting other's experiences. It's a very unique comedic style, and I'm totally here for it.
I am a man and I had a female stalker. She wasn't scary, just a bit angry and mixed up. She used to turn up at reception at work, phone me at work using false names to get through, she broke into my flat when I wasn't there and did some weird disturbing cooking. Eventually the police took her away and she got some mental health treatment. She showed up again with her care worker a few months later and the three of us sat and had a nice cordial chat. I never saw her again after that, hope she's doing well.
There are some terrible humans around.Much trouble starts with the mental health. The mind, in this case thought, is taken serious by people all over. No one teaches their children” beware of your own thoughts ,they can not touch reality”
Ana, you look gorgeous and amazing. As always brilliant content and so genuine.
I was on this notification SO FAST knowing either some awesome advice was about to be dropped, or we were about to drop somebody. What a great sponsor!
Anna I hate that someone who tries, who makes the world better has to pay with their security.
I hope your remain safe and well.
"Ugghhh... That's so much admin" 😂😂😂
This makes me feel better about the time in like 2012 i went to amoeba music and walked past Anna Akana with her boyfriend on the street and didn't say anything.
Thanks for this!
Been stalked twice, once in person ( before stalking was recognized as a real threat) and once online. It’s such a weird, uncomfortable experience, having someone you barely know be obsessed with you. The nice part about getting old and fat is leaving THAT threat behind.
Just sorry this is happening. Hope things get better for you.
Love love love you Anna ❤
Thank you.
tour link is showing 404, fyi. If you want to see her show, head to the site and click on the tour button. Totally worth seeing in person (thanks for coming to Nashville!)
everyone deserves to be their own 'bestie'
You joked about the woman, but I had a female stalker. Not at all as common as male stalkers, but they can be just as scary and are not to be underestimated 😬 I thought she was my friend, but she was not. My guess is she was struggling with abandonment and was maybe in the closet and felt some type of way about me being out and bi. She was like... rageful yet interested in me??? I have no idea - it was very strange and scary in hind sight.
Your comedy skit about a serious topic is quite amusing Anna!
Just finished watching "Play Misty, for Me", I still can't imagine what it must be like, hope you have plenty of support around you. Wish I could do more. 🤗🤗🤗
Cyberstalking and group stalking have skyrocketed in the past 10-15 years.
a quote from law and order svu "if she can´t say no, it is not a grape..."
I'm really skeptical about her stalker stats. Who are all these people doing stalking? Where do they get the time. Seems like too much work.
High-school kids got lots of free time... 😢
I had someone stalking me for years after breaking up. We met when I was their customer and they had all my personal details violated, they were stalking where I am, if I changed my phone, my address, everything! Every time I decided to do something I was receiving a threating message from them saying that they know what I am about to do and they will follow me for ever. I still have panic attacks when I see an unknown number.
Wow, that incogni even manifested to deal with that situation is crazy. That there is a whole industry and consumer base out there for mining personal data for nefarious reasons makes the world seem very unsettling.
Personal experience of stalking was of emotional instability overpowering reason but this is a whole different ballgame and psychological pathway of premeditation and intent to harm. What a horrible and unfair world.
I'm other news, my dog is great!
Is it stalking when a girl finds out where you live, does a background check on you, finds your workplace and shows up to say hi, then comes to your house and tells you to sleep with her or she'll call police and falsely claim you graped her?
Wishing you safety and a sense of security. Everyone deserves that.
I heard about compartmentalization in computer systems with the help of virtual machines to increase security by adding a layer instead of putting your main system being exposed to outside threats. Now i realize that humans used it well before entering the digital world and you know what? it makes sense. to everyone reading this, take care all! :)
If I could "Dance with the
Stars" , Anna....You would
be My Choice. 💕
Sincerely.....
Anna is a treasure
Love the realistic talk interactions shots Anna is talking to us 🤣
This is sad and disturbing and wildly hilarious and you're outrageously brave and talented.
Yeah… I think stalking is, in part, why I backed off doing UA-cam