I'm truly sorry that watching my video left you feeling hurt. If you don't mind, I'm genuinely curious what you find hurtful about the idea that a Christian's funeral should be primarily about Jesus (noting, of course, that I never suggested it should be exclusively about Jesus with no mention of the deceased). Do you mind sharing more?
@@DaveDack First, your video title suggests this is about how to plan a funeral generally, not the funeral of a devout Christian. Then you relegate the person who died to a mere afterthought while strongly pushing the idea a funeral should focus on Christ, which I think is offensive even to most Christians. Surely it should focus on the person, and secondarily on their faith in the resurrection, heaven etc.
@@glennifer1225 Thank you for sharing more, I really appreciate it. It sounds like you were disappointed that my video wasn't what you expected. I'm sorry that happened. I know that's a frustrating experience. To be fair, the first part of my video IS about general funeral planning, both for people who are part of a church and for people who aren't. And when I shift into specifically Christian funerals, I provide a clear disclaimer that I'm doing so and that the rest of the video may not apply to everyone. As for "relegating the person who died to a mere afterthought," on the contrary, focusing on Jesus' resurrection is precisely how Christians AVOID relegating someone to a mere afterthought. If the deceased's past life is the center focus, then they literally become a mere afterthought, just a memory, someone whose life is entirely in the past and now entirely gone. Death wins again. From a Christian perspective, there's no hope in that. Instead, focusing on Jesus' resurrection allows us to say that death does not win and that the deceased will be raised up with Jesus to eternal life. Focusing on Jesus is how we celebrate both who the deceased was and still is in Christ. If the person was a Christian, then the best way to honor and remember their life is to focus on their faith in Christ, which was their greatest hope. To make that "secondary" would risk dishonoring their life and legacy. Paul summed it up nicely in 1 Corinthians 15: "If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have died in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." Christian funerals should, and always have, put Jesus' resurrection front and center because without it there is no hope. I'm not sure why you would think this idea is "offensive even to most Christians." Why would it be? It's what Christians believe, and it's the way they have been doing funerals for two millennia. People aren't usually offended by their own religious beliefs and practices. I have conducted several dozen Christian funerals and not a single person has been offended by this, including friends and family who aren't Christian. I don't know whether you identify as Christian (if you don't then this whole disagreement is a moot point), but either way I truly hope you are able to hold a meaningful service for your dad and discover a way forward for you and your family. May you find some peace and comfort, and may your sense of being lost soon give way to path forward into renewed hope 🙏
Best advice I’ve gotten for the funeral I’m planning for my grandfather - who raised me - in a few days, is that you can do whatever you want and if you’re the next of kin or family member planning the service, it’s your rules. You probably know the person who passed Best and can do better than anyone else when it comes to these decisions so don’t feel pressured into doing things anyone else’s way. My grandfather was a devout Christian and Jesus Christ and the word of god will feature prominently in the service I am planning. That being said, it’s primarily to celebrate his life and give remembrance of him, not be a church service.
My mom just passed. She died so fast. 54 yrs young 😢. We are running around we r so lost, my sister and I live far so we are trying to do it as soon as we can
I'm so sorry to hear that! Remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. Do your best, do it with love, and it will be a meaningful service. God be with you in your grief 🙏
Very few funerals are appropriate. After reading "The Funeral Critic" one realizes how bad most of them are, and what can and should be done to make them more acceptable.
Hi David I'm in the process of planning my own funeral. I recently purchased a burial plot. I'm going to be buried next to my friend who died last year. My problem is i haven't told anyone. I'm 47 single with no children. I live on my own. I don't want to tell my parents at this point if at all. I have two brothers who i may tell at some point. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm planning my own funeral now so i get to be next to my friend and that the plot doesn't go to someone else. I don't want to burden my family with funeral costs and arrangements and i don't want to be cremated. Should i tell someone or leave instructions in a will for example.
Hey there. I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend. Generally speaking, it's wise of you to plan ahead for your funeral and burial plot. While I can't give legal advice, I definitely recommend that you tell someone AND leave some kind of instructions, otherwise no one will know how to honor your wishes. As for telling your family, I know it can be hard to do, but it's probably best to tell them. That said, I don't know your family dynamics so use your own judgment. God bless!
I've been trying to find a video that can help me. No luck so far. So hope you have answers for this. My daughter is 41. The doctor expected her to live to her mid-30's. She developed type 1 diabetes in her 20's as well as other conditions. I've nearly lost her on different occasions. This last time was a few weeks ago, in hospital in DKA with coma, and other things. She told me some years back that due to her health conditions, she does not qualify for life insurance. I'm divorced and on disability. She's married but separated. I've never done or even been to a funeral before. Is this to be handled by her husband and his family? I wish I had the money to bury her next to her stillborn baby who she lost full term after hospital nurses sent her home very sick, in DKA, dilated, and they didn't even check her blood sugar or call her doctor. She was back the next day not really aware of things. When she woke up, her doctor said her baby didn't make it and they came very close to losing her too. He also paid for her baby's funeral. Is it possible to arrange for her to be next to her stillborn? What are my options? Do churches ever cover the cost of a burial?
This is a pretty common reaction and I totally get the sentiment behind it, but from a Christian perspective the funeral is primarily about the resurrection of the dead in Christ. So it is about the deceased, but it's about their identity in Christ, not just about their life. And I never said the funeral is about the pastor preaching.
My dad just passed. I am so lost. But the idea that his funeral should be about jesus, rather than about my dad, is deeply hurtful.
I'm truly sorry that watching my video left you feeling hurt. If you don't mind, I'm genuinely curious what you find hurtful about the idea that a Christian's funeral should be primarily about Jesus (noting, of course, that I never suggested it should be exclusively about Jesus with no mention of the deceased). Do you mind sharing more?
@@DaveDack First, your video title suggests this is about how to plan a funeral generally, not the funeral of a devout Christian. Then you relegate the person who died to a mere afterthought while strongly pushing the idea a funeral should focus on Christ, which I think is offensive even to most Christians. Surely it should focus on the person, and secondarily on their faith in the resurrection, heaven etc.
@@glennifer1225 Thank you for sharing more, I really appreciate it.
It sounds like you were disappointed that my video wasn't what you expected. I'm sorry that happened. I know that's a frustrating experience. To be fair, the first part of my video IS about general funeral planning, both for people who are part of a church and for people who aren't. And when I shift into specifically Christian funerals, I provide a clear disclaimer that I'm doing so and that the rest of the video may not apply to everyone.
As for "relegating the person who died to a mere afterthought," on the contrary, focusing on Jesus' resurrection is precisely how Christians AVOID relegating someone to a mere afterthought. If the deceased's past life is the center focus, then they literally become a mere afterthought, just a memory, someone whose life is entirely in the past and now entirely gone. Death wins again. From a Christian perspective, there's no hope in that. Instead, focusing on Jesus' resurrection allows us to say that death does not win and that the deceased will be raised up with Jesus to eternal life. Focusing on Jesus is how we celebrate both who the deceased was and still is in Christ. If the person was a Christian, then the best way to honor and remember their life is to focus on their faith in Christ, which was their greatest hope. To make that "secondary" would risk dishonoring their life and legacy.
Paul summed it up nicely in 1 Corinthians 15: "If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have died in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." Christian funerals should, and always have, put Jesus' resurrection front and center because without it there is no hope.
I'm not sure why you would think this idea is "offensive even to most Christians." Why would it be? It's what Christians believe, and it's the way they have been doing funerals for two millennia. People aren't usually offended by their own religious beliefs and practices. I have conducted several dozen Christian funerals and not a single person has been offended by this, including friends and family who aren't Christian.
I don't know whether you identify as Christian (if you don't then this whole disagreement is a moot point), but either way I truly hope you are able to hold a meaningful service for your dad and discover a way forward for you and your family. May you find some peace and comfort, and may your sense of being lost soon give way to path forward into renewed hope 🙏
Best advice I’ve gotten for the funeral I’m planning for my grandfather - who raised me - in a few days, is that you can do whatever you want and if you’re the next of kin or family member planning the service, it’s your rules. You probably know the person who passed Best and can do better than anyone else when it comes to these decisions so don’t feel pressured into doing things anyone else’s way. My grandfather was a devout Christian and Jesus Christ and the word of god will feature prominently in the service I am planning. That being said, it’s primarily to celebrate his life and give remembrance of him, not be a church service.
Thank you for your words of wisdom. To focus on the resurrection of Jesus would be to focus on a most magnificent event!
You're very welcome!
Never thought I would be on UA-cam searching this but unfortunately my friend passed away at 28 from fentanyl overdose 💔
Oh man I'm so sorry to hear that. Whatever your faith/beliefs, I hope my video helps you plan a meaningful service for your friend.
My mom just passed. She died so fast. 54 yrs young 😢. We are running around we r so lost, my sister and I live far so we are trying to do it as soon as we can
I'm so sorry to hear that! Remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. Do your best, do it with love, and it will be a meaningful service. God be with you in your grief 🙏
The problem with planning is we changed tombstone to a Columbarium. This cost more money losing on the tomestone.
Ty for the advice
You're welcome!
This was so helpful thank you
I'm so glad to hear it! God bless 🙏
@@DaveDack my pastor is going to do the funeral this month. I prayed, found your video same day, emailed my church. Thanks so much
Good stuff pastor. Helpful
Glad to hear it, thanks!
is direct cremation free? if not how much is it? thanks
I don't think cremation is free, but you'd have to ask a crematory to sure 👍
Very few funerals are appropriate. After reading "The Funeral Critic" one realizes how bad most of them are, and what can and should be done to make them more acceptable.
Hi David I'm in the process of planning my own funeral. I recently purchased a burial plot. I'm going to be buried next to my friend who died last year. My problem is i haven't told anyone. I'm 47 single with no children. I live on my own. I don't want to tell my parents at this point if at all. I have two brothers who i may tell at some point. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm planning my own funeral now so i get to be next to my friend and that the plot doesn't go to someone else. I don't want to burden my family with funeral costs and arrangements and i don't want to be cremated. Should i tell someone or leave instructions in a will for example.
Hey there. I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend. Generally speaking, it's wise of you to plan ahead for your funeral and burial plot. While I can't give legal advice, I definitely recommend that you tell someone AND leave some kind of instructions, otherwise no one will know how to honor your wishes. As for telling your family, I know it can be hard to do, but it's probably best to tell them. That said, I don't know your family dynamics so use your own judgment. God bless!
Thanks for the advice Dave.
I've been trying to find a video that can help me. No luck so far. So hope you have answers for this. My daughter is 41. The doctor expected her to live to her mid-30's. She developed type 1 diabetes in her 20's as well as other conditions. I've nearly lost her on different occasions. This last time was a few weeks ago, in hospital in DKA with coma, and other things. She told me some years back that due to her health conditions, she does not qualify for life insurance. I'm divorced and on disability. She's married but separated. I've never done or even been to a funeral before. Is this to be handled by her husband and his family? I wish I had the money to bury her next to her stillborn baby who she lost full term after hospital nurses sent her home very sick, in DKA, dilated, and they didn't even check her blood sugar or call her doctor. She was back the next day not really aware of things. When she woke up, her doctor said her baby didn't make it and they came very close to losing her too. He also paid for her baby's funeral. Is it possible to arrange for her to be next to her stillborn? What are my options? Do churches ever cover the cost of a burial?
Jesus already had his funeral. The focus should be on the person who died. That is literally the objective of the gathering.
Not from a Christian perspective.
The funeral is supposed to be about the deceased, not about the pastor preaching. OMG. You have it all backwards.
This is a pretty common reaction and I totally get the sentiment behind it, but from a Christian perspective the funeral is primarily about the resurrection of the dead in Christ. So it is about the deceased, but it's about their identity in Christ, not just about their life. And I never said the funeral is about the pastor preaching.