I like the about Tiger Woods driving in rural Ireland. He stops at a rural gas station and says ‘Fill her up’. The attendant says ‘That’s a hell of car there !’ Tiger says ‘ Yeah Mercedes Benz AMF 600 top of the range’. When he pays the bill a golf tee falls onto the floor. The attendant says ‘What s that you’ve dropped ? ..... Tiger says it’s only a tee, I put my balls on it when I’m driving.... the guy says ‘ Them Mercedes fellas, think of everything don’t they ?’
The version I heard was about a preacher (not Catholic, of course) who wrote a comprehensive sermon about his attempt to learn to water ski on vacation. That Sunday his wife had a cold and stayed home, and upon getting to the church he discovered he had misplaced the sermon, so he grabbed an old one from his files, which happened to be about sex, and gave that one. Midweek, when some church ladies came to visit, they told his wife what a wonderful sermon it was, and how much he knew about the subject, and the wife replied, “He’s only tried it twice, and both times he fell off.”
Update: This joke wasn't voted "Best Joke in Ireland; that was just the 'title' of the joke. As for the piss-poor brogue/dialect, it is based on my elderly great- Uncle Peter Ruane from County Mayo. A poor impression at best. Love it or hate it, thanks for watching!
That made me laugh so hard my jaws locked for a second. Our Irish jaws never lock for anything. Hahaha. But ya just have to have the Irish blood to really appreciate a great Irish joke. Slaint :) :) :) :)
Oooh yeah I remember this joke. People are dirty,dirty dirty - don't remember it being voted the #1 joke though? haha - where was it voted #1!? it's a good one :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. BArt Flynn, you know how to tell them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BRILLIANT.
lol,...good one but where's YOUR Irish accent? You sound like a Yankee or a Canuck,....then again I remember my Irish buddy Mokongx3m, he hasn't the traditional irish accent. =P
good joke but he needs to stop with the voice I'm Irish and no one on my fucking island sounds like that if they did I would have them sent off to America
Mick Carey LOL,...your usage of "my fucking island" reminds me of that irish guy in Braveheart when he tells William Wallace he'll get his irish bros to fight alongside the scots, he said "its my island".
For Mick Carey: Is everyone on your effing island loose with the "F" word and run your sentences together without regard for punctuation and cap- italization? I thought his accent was very charming and dignified, unlike Hollywood film producers who often use actors who have crude, ruffian, low class, difficult to interpret accents which put the great people of "The Shattered Emerald" in bad light. You are too thin-skinned. It is a clever joke; let us enjoy it
This fella may go lie down, never heard that joke in my life and that is supposed to be voted the best joke in Ireland, bollocks. He made the joke annoying, not funny, with the stupid accents
That is the worst Alabama accent i have ever heard, no self respecting Irish man would ever tell a joke that bad and i can tell you now it would not get a vote from any Irish person.
I like the about Tiger Woods driving in rural Ireland. He stops at a rural gas station and says ‘Fill her up’. The attendant says ‘That’s a hell of car there !’ Tiger says ‘ Yeah Mercedes Benz AMF 600 top of the range’. When he pays the bill a golf tee falls onto the floor. The attendant says ‘What s that you’ve dropped ? ..... Tiger says it’s only a tee, I put my balls on it when I’m driving.... the guy says ‘ Them Mercedes fellas, think of everything don’t they ?’
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Good one! thanks for sharing.
The version I heard was about a preacher (not Catholic, of course) who wrote a comprehensive sermon about his attempt to learn to water ski on vacation. That Sunday his wife had a cold and stayed home, and upon getting to the church he discovered he had misplaced the sermon, so he grabbed an old one from his files, which happened to be about sex, and gave that one.
Midweek, when some church ladies came to visit, they told his wife what a wonderful sermon it was, and how much he knew about the subject, and the wife replied, “He’s only tried it twice, and both times he fell off.”
Update: This joke wasn't voted "Best Joke in Ireland; that was just the 'title' of the joke. As for the piss-poor brogue/dialect, it is based on my elderly great- Uncle Peter Ruane from County Mayo. A poor impression at best. Love it or hate it, thanks for watching!
True things are often the funniest.
Jesus H Christ man!?! As an Irishman I thought that joke was just absolutely shite!?!
😂😂😂
About as funny as Veradker , and just as shite
NAH NAH NAH, that is not the best joke in Ireland mate, that’s the best joke in the world 🤣😂👍
Love The Irish!
👍👌🍀🇮🇪
Nethier made me laugh it's very very hard to make me laugh
Farts
What do ya call a dog with no legs
Great joke. Very well told. A friend from Greece
lol good one,well-told, mate!
If that's the best Joke I don't want to hear the worst one1 begorra!
Well by jayzus if that's the funniest the worst one must be fuckin brutal all together
Very good
Fourking brilliant and original. Here I was thinking that I heard everything.
Thanks for making me smile.
That made me laugh so hard my jaws locked for a second. Our Irish jaws never lock for anything. Hahaha. But ya just have to have the Irish blood to really appreciate a great Irish joke. Slaint :) :) :) :)
Hilarious!
That was funny xD
You're face made me laugh way more than the joke
Up the green lol
Oooh yeah I remember this joke. People are dirty,dirty dirty - don't remember it being voted the #1 joke though? haha - where was it voted #1!? it's a good one :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. BArt Flynn, you know how to tell them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BRILLIANT.
i no that is so scabby to irish people like i'm irish and I sound nothing like that
Sophie Mullen don't lie we do lol
Great joke teller, excellent job with the accent, too. Thanks for making me laugh!!
Noelle Jordan com ..lousy irish accent...but good joke
🍀👍🇮🇪
Brilliant accent ! what was it ? Somali ?
yea and your bloody English you had a Beatles poster in the background
🤣🤣🤣☘
The worst joke in Ireland 🇮🇪 you mean.
Hey my name is riley
good one pal
EEEEEJIT
🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂PMSL😂😂😂😂😂😂
lol
Gondar
I'm from Ireland, and nobody from Ireland talks like that, and joke wasn't even funny, no way was that voted the best joke ever
I was scrolling down the comments looking for the inevitable real Irishman pissing all over this. Thanks for showing up.
i have that Beatles poster.... lol just saying..
Dude. I'm crying. That was funny.
XD
lol,...good one but where's YOUR Irish accent? You sound like a Yankee or a Canuck,....then again I remember my Irish buddy Mokongx3m, he hasn't the traditional irish accent. =P
Joe Serrano Thanks! I'm a Yank from Northeast, Ohio. Posted it 5 years ago. Enjoy the other comments below slamming my dialect...!
good joke but he needs to stop with the voice I'm Irish and no one on my fucking island sounds like that if they did I would have them sent off to America
Mick Carey LOL,...your usage of "my fucking island" reminds me of that irish guy in Braveheart when he tells William Wallace he'll get his irish bros to fight alongside the scots, he said "its my island".
He did indeed but he's long died so it's my fucking island I claimed it right
For Mick Carey: Is everyone on
your effing island
loose with the "F"
word and run your
sentences together
without regard for
punctuation and cap-
italization? I thought
his accent was very
charming and dignified, unlike
Hollywood film
producers who often
use actors who have
crude, ruffian, low
class, difficult to interpret accents
which put the great
people of "The Shattered Emerald"
in bad light. You are
too thin-skinned. It
is a clever joke; let
us enjoy it
Shit.
You're a natural yarn-spinner
Gobdaw
Pathetic effort at an Irish accent only surpassed by an even worse effort at a joke! That was like witnessing an accident.
fek n one
Good joke but no need for the fail of an Irish accent.
One of the funniest jokes i've ever heard. !!!
ah begorrah ilaughed so much i dropped me potatoes
Nobody in Ireland says oh begorrah.. Not one person
no it wasn't it's offensive
Sophie Mullen not at all
To the easily offended, yes.
Cringe - this is actual Irish humour:
ua-cam.com/video/YP4rpogDsiY/v-deo.html
"Best" joke in Ireland.
Worst joke teller in the world.
Including the bad Irish accent... None of us sound like that... It sounds like Mrs. Doubtfire having a stroke
I’ve heard way better.
I searching for Irish jokes, and I really hope this was good, but it was total shite... 😢
A yanks attempt at an Irish accent,,,,,CRINGE!!!!!!
STUPIT JOKE,
that accent is really bad and is so offensive
Sophie Mullen I agree
This fella may go lie down, never heard that joke in my life and that is supposed to be voted the best joke in Ireland, bollocks. He made the joke annoying, not funny, with the stupid accents
He is a jerk
Why that so-and-so!
not a good joke at all.....accent was worse!
👎
That is the worst Alabama accent i have ever heard, no self respecting Irish man would ever tell a joke that bad and i can tell you now it would not get a vote from any Irish person.