Why we need gender fluidity | Nicholas Metcalf | TEDxUMN
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- Опубліковано 7 лип 2024
- In his talk, Nick Metcalf gives insight into his experiences being a two spirit, and explains why gender fluidity is necessary in today’s world.
Cetanzi - Nicholas “Nick” Metcalf, MSW, is an enrolled member of the Rosebud SiouxTribe, South Dakota where he grew up. Nick attended the University of South Dakota for their Bachelors in Science, and received their MSW in Family Therapy at Augsburg College. Nick has worked in non-profit management throughout most of their professional career. Nick currently works for the MN Department of Human Services and is an active volunteer on a variety of community projects and initiatives impacting communities of color.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
"the world is a great, big place. There are lots of different people and I'm one of them"
Brings a tear to my eye!
Ditto
I am two spirited and of many tribes. Mainly Cherokee, Choctaw and apache. I am married to my beautiful wife with a son. And very happy with who I am. I am a man when I need to be and a women when I need to be. Sometimes when I just want to be. Be strong except that the creator has created us spiritually both, even physically in many ways though many deny it. The creator loves you.
Indo-European Americans could learn a LOT from our nation's original stewards. And I completely agree with Nick that we have a tendency to categorize people so they "fit" into our individual framework of understanding the world. Instead of trying to make people "fit," why can't we simply allow people to be who they are and consequently EXPAND our framework, rather than discarding anything and everything that doesn't fit? I find it sad that Nick feels compelled to present as a man in order to secure safety for himself and those he loves. Thank you, Nick, for such a great presentation. Peace and Contentment to you and your family.
In a tribal community 2 spirit-ness is easily integrated.But in a western civilization you would need to stamp it out,in order to create a huge population in which to run it..My guess!
@@neillgockelen4823 Which is same s*it like trying enforce gender binarity to Natives. Why would they do that? We are accepting gender binarity, they dont. Their decision, our decision. They are right, we are right.
Well said HMF! Wonderful TED talk!
👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
I thought the comments should be a lot less harsh than they are, myself not being in the LGBTQ community I find it interesting to learn about how people feel and how they want to express themselves. They are them and no one else knows what there going through or what they feel. You have to put yourself in other peoples shoes! This is important!
+Nadia Thillerup dude god gave you what he gave you that's it stop taking special pills and wake up.
Josh is the name god ain’t real
@@fadedace1342 ah... Yo you think God gave you a body with goes along with special only for that body occupied rules of behaviors?? Which are never meant to change? Like our clothes never change? Or the style of our architecture? Or like learning is forbidden? Even for plants or animals? Stays the same for ever?? Or only how you learned in oyour own special life time? Are you made out of stone? (even mountains change from while to while??!!) please consult a doctor because of your fear of th e unknown
It's just so beautiful! I loved the expression "a bridge between", this is so accurate
Love this and I had to chuckle when you mentioned "I came out as Gay before coming out as a Native." Be nice for you to speak with our Navajo youth.
You walk with grace and wisdom, Nick. I deeply appreciate you and what you offer the world.
That really got to me 'Two spirited people coming to save the world'
That's how I view the LGBTQ+ community, spreading love and changing people's perceptions for a greater and more peaceful world.
Yes.. If they are given open space and are not told to suppress their identity... Then they can solve their special mission... For the sake of us all
😂
I'm a Non-Binary Trans Guy
This is wonderful 🙏💕
So you're a deluded and confused female then.
The ending was beautiful. It tells you a lot about the world and these societal norms that everyone is expected to live by but really, if we chose to be ourselves and embrace it, the world would be so different. And not in a bad way.
You are a beautiful person, thank you for telling your story! Our society has a long way to catch up to understand the depth and importance of people like you ❤️
Dear Nicolas. This is video is a real eye opener for me. I, as a boy, was alway confused with girls. The world of girls was alway more familiar to me the the boy-world. Since my coming out it came to me fullcircle. I've been strugglie after quitting with homophobic christianity. I found that I prefer the wisdom of Native Americans more then the traumatic 'know it all' persons whontreated menas badly as the did to the beautiful Native Americans. Thank you for sharing
I met Nicholas 2004ish and Nicholas is such a kind and great person always respectful! I haven't seen Nicholas since 2008 because I moved. Also Nicholas is my friend.
This was so beautiful.... 2 spirited is how I have felt my entire life
are you Native American? If not you can't be two-spirit.
@@serabelden826 I get why that is. At the same time - I'm sure they ment they identify with the concept and that concept has no culture. It's just life. Sure, the word is specific to this culture and shouldn't be used by somebody outside of it, but don't forget that at the end of the day - that was native americans' way of interpreting something that you can find all over the world.
@@serabelden826 you say we can't be two sprited because we aren't Native American and sure I would never presume to use that title but that doesn't change what I am, we may use a different name but we would recognize our common spirit
@@serabelden826 are you African??? So you cannot make your hair into dreadlocks nononono
@@namelsess93 yes and I do not like this reverse anti-rassism which is also very strikt.. It is so close minded.. And you feel so ethicaly superior saying this.. Like I teach you with my arrogance to behave.. Do you understand?? Learn!!! Lol.. But if we believe in reborn.. We could be in each lifetime different nationalities
Thanks for saying the creator makes no mistakes.
I understand dressing as a woman.
The best part was describing his interaction with the children.
Absolutely WONDERFUL! I was a "Tomboy" growing up. I've always been physically strong. I found it a bother to wear makeup and dress up in dresses and heels. But I WAS PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO ONLY MALES. I was good in both the male and female roles but physically female and sexually heterosexual. So yes, I've known for a long time that gender does not equal sexuality. Society projects it as normal for men and women to give up part of themselves. Men should give up what is considered "feminine" and "weak". Therefore, don't cry, don't be a baby, suck it up! And women were taught to be a lady, a nurturer, don't do "boy things", don't fight, don't be aggressive. If these emotions were real physical limbs, maybe people would be less apt to cut them off. I will be raising my grandson with EVERYTHING he came born with INTACT! He will have a balance of masculine and feminine and he will choose his sexual side when he knows what feels right for him. I'll fight societies "NORMALCY" insanity tooth and nail as I have done my entire life. Yeah, that would be you "thumbs down" sociopaths. I will forever poo on your anti-social parade, your dictatorship, you pathetic broken-brained control freaks. My hope is that someday they can fill the empty space in your brains with the missing conscience and give you empathy and help you out of the black hole that consumes and destroys everything in it's path that isn't a carbon copy of itself or doesn't fit into the "normal" mold.
What a beautiful human.
So glad to see someone talking about this
This was great! Thanks for sharing. 💜
That is beautiful. Another kind of courage, to be who you are.
While Two Spirit is not a western concept obviously, the interpretation of it in this case seems heavily distorted by western influences.
Thank you for this video.
I really appreciate this. I feel like I learned a lot, getting to know the speaker as I listened and watched. Here's to a more accepting, freeing future.
Beautiful talk, so meaningful!
I love this so freaking much.
Thanks for sharing Nick, as I am a sister too and with you.
I totally understand the " bridge between" identity. I am a bridge person. I'm the connecting link between female & male. I help these 2 genders, cis-female & cis-male, understand & get along with each other. Therefore, we are energy balancers,...& when male & female are working together in balanced harmony, humanity functions better. And ultimately when human energies are equalized, the health of this Earth improves. ***This is our purpose as Two-Spirit or Bridge People.
Thank you for sharing your story
Beautiful story.
"Two Spirit" - from the Injunuity series and the angles it touches upon. ""Two Spirit" - Injunuity
Truly AWESOME! Thank you
It's actually a good talk. It just needs a better structure and a more descriptive title.. the title is a little bit misleading.
This is a wonderful, warm and inspiring talk. Thank you!
That was an interesting talk! :)
beautiful strong soul xxx
This was much needed.... I learned of the two spirit very recently..... I had just thought I was a unicorn and could never figure out why I didn't fit in with boy or girl.... but fit in as both depending...... it all makes sense.
I envy you your supportive family.
how many times did they say "sort of"? but i agree
Yes.. Therefore nothing is really stable.. Nothing is unchangeable.. He made this special experience so.... But is an open truth for us all... Sort of
I appreciate your sharing your story ! I am finding my way as a he she thank you❤
This kind of stuff reminds me of Greek mythology. The gods could make themselves into anything they wanted to be or turn man into anything they desired.
True. I just don't like the part that they want everybody to accept it whether you whether you want to or not. Be whatever you want but don't shove it down peoples throat to take it in.
@@EJOE44 they aren’t really shoving it down anyone’s throats, they are just explaining what being two spirited is and how they identify with it. People don’t have to listen if they don’t want to and if you really didn’t care about this topic you could’ve just not clicked on the video. I don’t see how they are forcing the concept down anyone’s throats.
Yes, we all are Gods and Goddests and two spirit gods
@@wintershock Maybe the one in the video isn't shoving things down our throat, but others are definitely doing it and cancelling everyone that doesn't validate them, it isn't anyone's job to validate anyone's inner self, only basic rights for all should be applied. Being offended has nothing to do with taking away anyone's rights either however.
ShoutOut to my "CheroCrow" friend Steve Y., in Montana
This was amazing!
great singing -
Not only it is safe to dress as a woman. It is not safe to be a woman presently.
Ariadni Lamar Speciale i don't think you've got anything to worry about
Chris Jones you can not imagine how much I have to worry ...
ignore it all and focus on getting to space
Ariadni Lamar Speciale I believe you meant to say, "Not only IS IT NOT safe to dress ..." OR you actually meant that it IS safe to dress as a woman. You are not clear in your comment. Also, to Chris Jones - if you are speaking about rape, rape is not a sexual act, but an act of dominance and violation of the victim's rights as a human being. Come into the light on what the crime is all about.
Ariadni Lamar Speciale It is not "safe" to be alive, period. Disease and death don't have a gender preference. Neither does "accidents", which in most cases aren't "accidental" at all, but are due to ignorance and incompetence. The weakness that exists in human nature that some would call "natural selection" and "survival of the fittest" or an abundance of people with psychopathy. Worry about all the ways to suffer and die or worry about none at all. Death should only be one's adviser in regards to how short life can be, so don't waste it with excessive worry and paranoia. Watch out for prescription drugs and incompetent health care workers. They seem to be killing 100's of thousands of people a year of all genders. Question everything and if you need surgery, mark the area. All we can do is take precautions, but there are no guarantees. Much of the control over our lives involve outside influences, other people being number one with the environment being number two. Ever watch "1000 Ways to Die"? There we see many people who end up taking their own lives "accidentally". Many Darwin award winners depicted on that show, lol!
+Mae cole
Eww spider 2:03. Anyway, great video!
... He just told a story. He didn't present an argument of any kind for why we need gender fluidity.
You are so right. He told his story, and that's it.
their story IS the point. They were addressing social issues by highlighting their experience in a colonized society.
What does he means with America? America is not a continent?? That's really racist and ignorant to think that America is only United States of America...
Please don't blame our federal govt for your diabetes problem. It's not medical care you need because we all have it. Eating healthy prevents diabetes ... period. I's not govt's fault for you eating poorly.
brave 👍
Except from asserting the need for gender fluidity because "theres this magical native american term for magical people which makes us wonderful", this talk fails to explain the actual neccissity for any sort of gender fluidity.
Please explain to me how the claim in the title of the talk is even remotely met in the video when there is no explanation of an answer, nor any clear arguement other than "because".
CWVproduction their (not sure if thats the prefered pro-noun) entire story is supporting the need for gender fluidity in society. Its riddled with heartbreak that reflects societies uncomfortableness with transgender/two soul people. Your use of language is also a good example of why we need gender fluidity
this being a sad life story about being an outsider in a society, still does not make gender fluidity needed, whatever it may be (more on that later), but only the need to accept different lifestyle choices. a person does not get to call him/herself "us" because he cannot be a plural. its a-priori because the definition of the word dictates it, and it doesnt matter how much he feels as "two souls".
also, what the hell IS gender fluidity? can you explain it? I assume its allowing for more than two genders. but as I see it, just because you have a certain disposition, either kind and caring, or rugged and tough, does not make you into a different gender. a women can have any number of qualities and still be a woman, and same goes for men.
so what is the problem that gender fluidity solves? people not being jerks to people with different choices? this is solved with actual tolerance, not linguistical tricks which give names to things that already have names. he is a man, she is a woman, its not a matter of choice or feeling, and the role they portary in society doesnt change that, and while its cute that the children insist on calling him/her "mom", its not that by itself that makes him an actual mom, because a mom is not "something which acts in a caring way like a mom", its a term for a woman with children.
CWVproduction To your first concern, language is adaptive and has been since its conception. Sociology spends a great deal of time discussing language pathways that have developed to help make our lives more efficient, communication more effective or sometimes simply because of association. Take the relevant word 'gay' for example; it dictionary definition, colloquial and use as a noun are far different from each other. You may disagree with trans-two soul people re-purposing the use of 'their' because your personal culture didn't have a hand in it, but it an effective way of communicating a dynamic gender position
To your second question; gender fluidity holds in contention the vast ary of gender identities that we assert as 'transgender'. It refers, in a broad sense, to gender identity, expression and behavior (all of which can be very different). Going deeper than that, we have sex (biological outside), hormonal (someone can be male with more female hormones, drastically changing their physiology, for example), sex again (genitals- this can be both genitals or one/other) and identity (what you feel you are, important and often dismissed). Anyone under the term transgender can be one or any arrangement of those dimensions and still be refereed to as transgender. That makes the term, and our understanding of it, incredibly limiting.
Please note that this is not an extensive list/view of transgender. I'm a cis male (another example of gender-fluid nouns, for those of us who have no gender separation), and thus am not a forward authority on everything transgender. I totally recommend looking into resources, watching material and talking to others to help get a broader picture of things. I only ask they you please be respectful; these people have spent their lives being told that they were freaks, defects and being beaten for a choice most of us never had to make. Even if you choose to disagree with their views, please be respectful
He seems like a man to me. A man with certain mannerisms that are more common on woman, but nevertheless a man.
That's the thing. If I was to say he is a woman because of these manneirisms, then I would have to assume that certain behaviors are inherently "womanish" (Not commonly, but inherently, which makes a huge difference). And that's simply not true. These characteristics doesn't guide the gender of someone. The gender, for me, is not defined by the behavior of an individual. I'm trained to accept the any man with any behavior as a man, and any woman with any behavior as a woman. Thats egalitarian for me. I can see this guy as a guy, and treat him like I treat any guy, without prejudice, that way.
Oh, and cut the crap about "being more safe" while dressing as a man. The only "safety" you get when dressing as a man is the feeling of safety. It's actualy statisticaly less safe being a man, but the narrative being pushed make you believe it's safer being a man, then you feel safe dressed as a man.
They are not a man.
This is the stupidest idea I've heard in a while. We are entering another Victorian age where some idealists try to create a society as "it should be" (rather as they see it) while neglecting human nature, instincts and downright logic. Isn't it a surprise that the majority of species that have survived thus far have a male and a female gender?
Are some people between genders? Sure. Some people also write with their left hands. Should we now change society for left handed people (have doors open on both sides, accept writing from right to left and left to right, stop people from saying "you're right" to saying "you're ambidextrous"? Should we now deny the usage of words like "sinister", "gauche", and encourage right handed children to write with both hands?
Not only will it be confusing and messy, but it's outright pointless...
The point is, noone is asking you to be gender fluid, a leftie..
You should know the society isn't yours exclusively, it's people's, all people, and people are known for being all different, so yes the society needs an adaptation so all people could fit in. You say all species that could make it thru have male and female, right! Just like humans, it's not about getting rid of the male and female, it's about living and lettin' live, I'm not like you, if I identify as a gay man and you don't get it, it doesn't mean, I not in fact gay, it means you don't get it Period
Xx
Ray Madein "society isn't yours exclusively,"
Agreed.
" yes the society needs an adaptation so all people could fit in." So society needs to change for a said person? Would' you say to that person "society isn't yours exclusively"?
"You say all species that could make it thru have male and female, right!"
I did not say that. I said that "the majority of species that have survived thus far have a male and a female gender? "
" it's about living and lettin' live" Tell that to a bear the next time you're in a forest. It's about compromise and working things out for a (hopefully) common goal.
"I'm not like you". Fair
" if I identify as a gay man and you don't get it, it doesn't mean, I not in fact gay, it means you don't get it Period"
How did it get to being gay? I thought this video is about being both a man and a woman.
"you don't get it Period"" so what would your response be to people who disagree with you? To force them to change? to debate? To passive aggressively shame them into accepting your opinion?
If thats the case, when does your "Live and let live philosophy" kick in?
Yes, I would say it to that 'said person' since that said person (Assuming it would be the speaker in this video) is not convincing me to be their way, but to let them be their way peacefully. That's it.
How is that negatively affecting you or me?
You seem not to be so tolerant of differencies, are you against the facilities made by society for disabled people as well? (You know, reserved parking places, adapted stairs.. Etc) knowing that disabled people are a minority in society, and those 'adaptations' cost quite a lot economically and financially talking. However, I'm not comparing a disability or a decease to a gender identity whatsoever, I'm just trying to make a point.
No sir, don't get it passively, just respect it. After all, we're all biased somehow.
As for the homosexuality part, I'm pretty conscious we're talking gender identity here, I just used it as an example to make it more relatable as I am gay.
Ray Madein "I would say it to that 'said person' since that said person (Assuming it would be the speaker in this video) is not convincing me to be their way, but to let them be their way peacefully. That's it. "
There's a difference between being your way. it's another to say "why we need gender fluidity". The point of this video is to convince you AND me that we need to change our way of life to match his/hers. How come the title isn't "why I live with gender fluidity", for example.
"You seem not to be so tolerant of differencies" Dont know how you reach that conclusion. To debate doesn't mean to be intolerant.
"are you against the facilities made by society for disabled people as well?" What a stupid thing to say and I resent being asked that question, Sir.
"I'm just trying to make a point." Okay fair. Another example is if someone wearing hats makes a TED video of "why we all need to wear hats." No we dont. And anyone disagreeing with the video doesn't mean that they are intolerant. Generalizing is a bad (yet human) decision-making process.
"don't get it passively, just respect it". If he wants to mix his/her genders up, he/she can do that. I ask that he/she dont propose that the rest of the population follow suit.
The description box says this effeminate man is an enrolled member of the Sioux tribe. I think they must have meant Sue. Honest mistake.
Lmao!
I, too, am "two spirited". I have the spirit of a man and the spirit of a lion living in me. So, when I pounce on your back and bite your throat out, that's just me expressing my lion spirit. This makes as much sense as anybody saying that they have the " spirit " of another gender in them. The coolest part is that PETA works to protect my right as a bi- species being.
How did you correlate animals and gender? wtf? Not the same, and no one is claiming anything like that.
in all due respect, as I am not trying to start a fight: a "gender dysphoric" person "feels" like the gender they are not. A "species dysphoric", which is what I am, feels like an entirely different species than what they are. In my case a lion.Now "feelings" are entirely subjective. You could no more say that you know exactly what it "feels" like to be another gender, for example - what does it feel like to menstruate? - than I could say that I know exactly what it feels to be a lion, for example -What does it feel like to have the hot blood of your prey all over you after the kill?- Are you trying to say that your experience is more valid than mine? Are you trying to say that your "feelings" are better than mine? The correlation is the same. You may just happen to feel like a woman and I happen to feel like a lion. This does not make either of us better or our examples any different.
We don't.
we do, but we don't need assh*les like you :)
he lost me at: "the creator makes no mistake"
Salvatore C. This world is to help us grow the bad is here so we can transcend it if we will it
He made himself into what he wants, then wants everybody to accept it whether they want or not. Just shoving it down their throat.
@@EJOE44 oh, so.. Tell us then what you think should be *normal*?? With him.. Maybe you give us some classes??
@@EJOE44 7:55 OK... So you think he did not become what he naturally was?? And his own son was a true *boy from the beginning.. You assume this person is performing his identity?? Acting?? ARE you sure? I think we have naturaly talents and spirits... This is not a choice, dear 😘
@@katerschwarzer1696 Not everyone believes in "spirits" either so no it's not a universal rule or law, it's a belief, hence shouldn't apply to everyone.
Is that a guy or a woman
Usually if you aren’t sure the best thing to do is call them ‘they’ if you can’t ask them directly or until you find out their preferred pronouns.
I have no problem with that, you can be a dog, if you like, just find yourself a master that will feed you because you know, dogs don't go to school, work, etc. But maybe you can guard a house for few bucks.
Typical biggot. Look at you, that's all you have as an argument? Really, bestiality? As far as I'm concerned, this speaker doesn't talk about wanting to be an animal. Wait.. Do you want to..? Hm.
Ray Madein He said something like that anyone can be "anything"... So "dog" can be considered as "anything", right?
No, I disagree. Dog is amazing animal. But we can't choose what we like to be. By nature we are borned humans and divided between male and female and nothing between, not like snails. We have physical and psychical predisposition according to what are our roles to survive. Male is hunter, female is keeper. It doesn't mean that male and female have nothing in common. Becuase sometimes it's needed that one had both roles, e.g. in case of partner's dead. So in that case if society don't care, then male must care for the child, or female have to go for hunt. But still males will always have better muscle development, higher aggresiveness for hunting and female better mental strenght, higher pain threshold for keeping and caring for the child etc.
If you are male and feel more like woman or opposite or even something between it can be only due to disorder in early development of your body and mentality or it is disorder due to wrong/incorrect nurturing/background.
I don't mean you shouldn't feel confident in what you are even though in case you have disorder.
But still you can't choose if you are man or woman. You just have to live with what nature gave you.
One day there will be child that needs both father and mother, not two mothers or two farthers, otherwise this child may have mental disorder, too. But you need male and female to have child naturally. And that is how it meant to be. Not because of religion or society. It is because evolution. Same reason, why we are considered humans, not monkeys or dogs. So where is bestiality or biggot you are talking about? Was nature cruel to you or to anyone? Get over it! Learn how to live with yourself.
@@raymadein6969 Roman Svec said how he feel about the story. I don't think is appropriate for you to call him biggot. I heard the same thing he heard. I didn't even hear him explain the major topic in full, which is "gender fluidity". He was just telling his story and expect his audience to accept it. Watch again.
That's not how this works, that's not how any of this works
Sorry, that is how it is working from now on. :)
Ray Madein ugh all you walking cancers are just utter filth on this earth
CloggedOpossum I am sorry for you for having such a mindless fear of something that is part of Nature's wonderful diversity. Fear and hatred are not qualities...they just drag you down like mill-stones. I hope that one day, any soon, you will learn to accept and respect your fellow humans around. If not, you'll remain a sorry excuse for a human.
katemantis a sorry excuse is when someone thinks they are a girl when theyre a boy.
theyre only two genders
male
female
end of story
it should be treated
So . . . Why do we "need" gender fluidity again?
I don't think Nicholas Metcalf answered that particular question.
Great observation. He didn't. He just want people to hear his gender story and accept his gender preference.
@@EJOE44 that's unfortunate.
If it is true that acceptance comes through understanding, that Nicholas would have done better to lay down some facts to support his position.
Go home TedX you're drunk
Ray Madein your
Normal TED talk: an imformative, learning experience for the audience
"These" TED talks: wierdos nattering on about themselves for themselves
Chris Jones and anyone in their minority, like me!
Very weird
Chris Jones So people doing a talk to raise awareness and change attitudes, hoping that eventually enough people will accept them, that they feel safe to express who they are? Yeah, cos thats not an informative learning experience at all, is it?
Chris Jones If you understood nothing and consequently learned nothing is not because of the talk and the topic. You have just described your own limits in getting informed and learning from experiences. You should try more.
katemantis explain how i'm meant to apply all this knowledge about one person i'll never meet
Sort of. ..
These people spend all their time nurturing their imagined victimhood. If only they had problems in life
problems such as the forced colonization of hundreds of years? Or are you referencing problems such as uneducated folks constantly pestering their very being?
No, what we need is two genders and to start following Biology and Mother Nature again. Notice how every little thing falls into place in the universe? Stop trying to change what wasn't meant to be changed.
If humans... are born a certain way... they are changing anything... two-spirited and non-binary people have existed across time. They are part of the universe. What definitely needs to be changed is your view of the world.
Dont tell people to just go with it. NO thanks sick
Oof buddy, looks like you have some personal issues to work through. Come back to society when you can actually accept humanity.
@@onikarutherford7021 looks like you have some spiritual issues to work through. Come back to society when you accept morality
This is complete nonsense.
It's gender fluids 😏come and rub my gender fluid on yourself lol 😆
Miigwech. I’m grateful for this video.