This conversation about cheating is one that most women aren’t ready for. Understanding it comes with age.🤣Very often when men cheat, it has nothing to do with their wives. These men take the decision to cheat and you can’t do anything about someone who has decided to cheat, no matter how much you check his phone and his whereabouts. He will remain dedicated to his mission. I don’t think men are monogamous by nature, they have to continuously fight temptations to stay loyal, which really isn’t easy for some. Most of them actually want polygamy but…🤐
But even in polygamy they cheat. Clearly, it's not about having 2 or 3. It's about getting whoever you can get whenever you can. They have wives, sidekicks, and probably hookups and one night stands. It's never enough. They want want whoever they want whenever they want and with no repercussions whatsoever nevermind who they hurting or whatever damage it will cause to their life. Its selfishness. Now we have to be conditioned to believe they are are not monogamous by nature. Njani? They just chose to be very selfish in that aspect because they know us women tolerate it.
@@Ntuthu28_M 🤣🤣🤣Their wives won’t allow it and some will risk their marriages by simply trying to open that topic with their wives and they don’t want that. But, truth is he won’t let go of the other woman if he also loves her. He’ll even build a family with the other woman if he wants to. You won’t stop him. So why not allow him to take another wife if he wants one?
Ladies, if you want to follow the path of wisdom, do not follow the advice this woman is giving. I am not saying that you should divorce your husband as soon as he cheats but the hurt and pain that comes from an unfaithful husband should not be minimized. There are some women who became a shell of themselves due to enduring years of infidelity, only for their man to eventually leave them for another woman. Sex is not to be cheapened as some leisure thing that men do to blow off steam. We who have lived during the AIDS pandemic remember the horrors of couples dying and leaving young children due to promiscuity. We also know of children who have struggled and wept for years because their fathers would not acknowledge them because they did not want to upset their wives or compromise their primary families. If your man is cheating, I advise you to address it in the best way you see fit and heal from that pain. If he continues, do what you see fit, but do not minimize the long-term damage that it does to you emotionally and psychologically. Jesus stated adultery as one of the few provisions for divorce, that tells you something.
This conversations are all fun and games and until someone gets sick. A man has the right to choose a monogamous or polygamous relationship but women also have a right to choose whether they want to participate in it or not. Women are not on this planet for the entertainment and pleasure of men, life goes both ways...
Preach. 💯 this is the truth... we are not born for the pleasure of men. They also neglect to talk about the women who get abused and insulted but their husbands who protect and prefer the precious side chick....we are relegated to being baby makers and maids with degrees and 9 to 5s
This guest is irresponsible actually, we live in a country with the highest HIV/Aids rate in the world however I must choose to ignore my husband or bf when his cheating? She was born in a different era when there wasnt even diseases such as Aids, very backwards in her thinking...
@NgakoIsaac-ey4td A man will also not agree to his woman seeing another man, so i guess we should also do it behind your back , the people we are cheating with are also dating us behind their partners backs....This is the fastest way to spiritual contamination and physically getting HIV and STIs
The line between Cheating and loyalty is discipline… I’m naturally designed to crave sugar and fat cakes but iv learned the discipline of avoiding it for over 10years because I love the thinner version of me…and I look amazing 🤩… If a man really loves you and they are mature enough to master the art of discipline they will never cheat… Whether they are naturally non-monogamous or not it’s insignificant… “ a man who is able to rule his spirit is greater than one who can takeover a city” Proverbs 16:32
Everyone deals with temptations, it's a matter of self-control and discipline. Dare I say many can't achieve it until they surrender it to the Lord who knows us and can heal us wherever we're lacking or ailing.
I agree with some of the things Charmaine says but i strongly disagree with some. Whatever a man does outside of the house affects the entire family, i am an HIV orphan so trust me i understand the devastation. My mother contracted HIV from my father, they passed on 10 months apart and i dont even want to get into the devastation and traumatic life ive had to live with my siblings in my parents absence.
The devil has us by the balls and it's so sad. And shame we keep advising each other nonsense shame just so we can soothe ourselves. All of these won't work. Lol but the sad thing is all of this confusion is specifically designed to take us straight to hell. And the thing that makes me more sad is honestly we don't know better but pleading ignorance also won't save you.
I agree with most things she said,kodwa i will never say "what my man does outside or has sex with is not my problem or business" because that very same mentality has left sooo many loyal wives,girlfriends and innocent children sick
Please stop making excuses men have to restrain themselves, they have to train themselves to be faithful and loyal to their wives. We all know the story of Adam and Eve, if men's nature was to have more than one woman, Adam would have been the first. So guys let go live a life of discipline, let the sidechicks, the concubines, and the other Mseleku kind of wives live their lives.
This confirms that being single is really not a bad idea hey. Men like this men like that..... All of those are to be done by women.....🙆🏾🙎🏾😂😂.all the best to those that will manage.
i have never had an extra marital affair, never cheated when i dated. we have been married for 12 years, turning 13 years this year. i dont even subscribe to the idea of polygamy
Take it from a man, not really when I have loved you to say can we be together don't take it lightly I have chosen you and want to cater, protect to the best of my ability appreciate it and allow me sometimes allow alone time. I believe as long as I respect I love you
Its funny how you say women should let their men to cheat, come back home and not even care about that. Marriages are broken because, the mr cheaters never came back home to their wives. How are the feelings catered for.....pain, confusion and uncertainty? To me this doesnt make any sense.
Exactly, she thinks she's wise but doesn't know or understand that. Most Marriages don't end just because he cheated, it's because he didn't come home for a weekend and blocked his wife everywhere... It's because the side used Muti to try and unalive the wife and he didn't care and still carried on with the side...wives don't find out about their husbands affairs because they went and looked for the affairs, the man just didn't bother to hide it( several times) That's the part this woman don't get, even promise, she doesn't know that women leave after they endured the worst(usually). For both thier sake, I hope they don't get to experience what most married women experience.
promise n the old generation need to understand that we are not in marriage to make it work by tolerating BS. from men who dont wanna grow and act like real MEN should.
Please it's not all Men who cheat. I feel it's wrong to put all Men in one blanket. She must speak her experiences and stop being unfair on Men who live a clean life.
This is how I understand them and anyone who's deal breaker is not cheating, there are things in your own relationship/marriage you tolerate that will be a deal breaker for some.
All I will say is that your life becomes what you allow. You alone will have to face your choices (where you have influence). Develop yourselves ladies. Life does not revolve around a person that cannot discipline themselves. That indiscipline will spill over in other parts of your life. Choose wisely, choose yourself.
If the ‘blind leading the blind’ was an episode. So sad really. Some opinions are formed from so much hurt. Not all men cheat. Men can be monogamous. You deserve loyalty and consideration. Discipline is not only for females.
@@kabelodejenga8183 in a marriage the goal is to make a conscious decision to prioritize, care for and respect each other. Cheating is not a mistake. It’s a conscious decision a partner makes to put him/herself above your marriage. Repeated cheating is just simply abuse. It takes a toll on the others physical, mental and most times even financial health. So let’s not lie and reduce sex to just a physical act with no consequences. Saying a partner having sex outside of your marriage ‘is not cheating’ is a copying mechanism. Cheating is a reckless and selfish act. Whether I experience that or not will not change the truth. We don’t conveniently explain things away just because they have now happened to us.
Ai madam guest you are so wrong in many ways! I suggest you repent because you don’t want to experience the wrath of the Lord! Wrong advice about marriage.
It would have hit different if she didn't divorce her husband....because your peace is important. Ladies you can find someone who doesn't cheat. DON'T SETTLE!
She is telling the honest truth about men cheating and women… its the honest truth if you actually think deep about it. Women focus on yourself get your career kicking off, focus on your man when its time to do so… and just design your own marriage… this woman taught me something very valuable in life.
We as men are not happy with one woman, we are constantly fighting a natural instinct and women know it, when you see a guy on social media marrying two wives, you say he's living every man's dream, but somehow, your husband doesn't deserve that dream. WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Waitse I see the comments ne.....People can dispute the facts but most women are living in misery because ba phela ba le masecurity a banna.... Charmaine is right. Leave it bandla. Most ya'll merry them foul like that hoping they will change but you know about the leopard right😏
I disagree with some of the things Charmaine said. Polygamy was never about the man but about the home. It was women who picked the wives that will join the family, both biblically and in African culture. In the bible, it was Sarah the wife of Abraham who gave Hagar to be his concubine and bear him more kids. He did not just go and get one because he is horny. Even in Zulu culture its the same. Let us not promote cheating/promiscuity and disguise it under Polygamy, very different things. What a man does inside and outside the home matters to the wife as they are now one in the eyes of God, spiritually they are tied. Let us not lie to ourselves please.
As women we are not truthful, women speak from their personal circumstances and want to exert those to other women as truth. Charmaine's point of view seems like the view of someone who has resigned themselves to be the other woman. Its sad, but its the reality for some women. The question that I would like to ask them though is, does it mean that there is a price to cheating, if you are taking care of me, you have paid your dues, you can cheat, and if you are failing to take care of me, then you haven't paid your dues and can't afford to be cheating?
Brilliant observation.... so a man who earns less than his woman must not cheat. If he can pay the bills he has licence to cheat. Does that then mean the high earning woman can cheat?
Can’t believe I watched this nonsense😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I mean really 😅 Both women and men can cheat. It’s just about respect of your relationship. Stop making it seem like women are robots 😂
Yoh, I lost a handful of brain cells watching this until the remaining cells vehemently protested; I obliged and just like you, I exited the sh!t fest. Low vibrational nonsense.
It's OK to accept cheating but please don't bring the Bible into it without understanding the context of why certain things happened. Further more, the consequences are never spoken about. Study the Bible..
It's her saying that if it's a Sthembu situation, at least you know who your husband is sleeping with. Sis, you don't know these men. The polygamist around my area has three wives and a bunch of side chicks. 😂😂😂
If you guys want to normalize cheating it's okay for you guys but please don't generalize because we know so many good men who are not cheating. Wena you just meeting with men and know men who cheats.
@@boitumeloqueen1580yazi I waited the whole time to get her story, mara dololo 😢! I only remember hearing Promise saying - this is the last question on your marriage then we’ll wrap it up… TBH I think Promise is the one who needed to be consoled ngathi there’s a side chick tsunami in her abode…
I thought I was hallucinating. I was starting to question my existence as a woman. Am I just an entertainment toy for men? So even if he brings diseases I should be okay? Hell no.
There are people out there who are in idyllic and ideal marriages filled with loyalty, faithfulness and God at the center. So sad to see that these ladies have settled for much less. 💔
@@MogauMogakane I don't know, but I refuse to have the mentality that "all men cheat" that kind of negativity shouldn't live rent free in my mind or life. I shouldn't expect the worst from people.
@@noluthandomncube493 the conversation speaks more to nature rather than what is right, and it is not a negative thing to begin because most men do it and we feel within our nature doing it
Crazy. If we made promises to remain faithful, If we.made vows to stay pure, We srick to our promise She is using a bible to suit her narrative, and she is lying.. God never lie, He doesnt contradict himself. He wont put principles that our nature cant fulful then hold us accountable for them. Women like her are a problem. Being outspoken and eloquent doesnt make the person correct. And whats this habit of leaving a cheater only to be a side chick, only to put another woman what you went through? If she is right, why not stay celibate?
Bathong! Kanti what year are we in? 😮. In 2024, we have grown woman thinking like this? Sounds like she hated her previous life and being married. Outchea rewarding people for bad behavior 🙄, also you cant put the bible as reference when the same bible saya dont commit adultery..
Wa bona banna basatlore gagola dipelo, if they can hear this!😂😂😂😂 Taba tse ye mongwe le ye mongwe a rie ka mokgo a bonago, I personally can't stand a cheating man!
She did not tell her story that's why most of us don't get her,why was the husband violent,because she never cared about his business,manje why the violence
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil. Who put darkness for light and light for darkness. Who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. That's Isaiah 5v20
The Thing About The Truth- Is That It Can Hurt. But It Still Remains The Truth Regardless. I Think As Women We Must Refrain From Wanting To Possess Men. And Putting Them First. Aunty Charmaine Is Making A Lot Of Sense. And She’s Stating Facts.
@@rebekahkingbello9560 Based On The Number Of Men Who Aren’t Faithful- Her Version Of Reality Is Truer Than Any Delusion We’d Like To Believe About Men.
Very insightful Charmaine, thank you Promise for inviting Charmaine. I definitely have learned a lot in this episode. Let's just say.... "I can see clearly now the rain is gone"
Solo trips are important, i started solo trips in 2012 o was turning 30 and went to New York (my theme was sex and the city). 2022 i went to Italy for my 40th (theme being eat, pray, love) bona i went to Verona(home of Romeo and Juliet to fall in love with me). Enjoy Zanzibar I am turning 42 in November and i am so content with me that he is worried there is someone making me happy. I am glowing, always outdoors or travelling. The best fun i have in life is when i am alone😂😂😂. I have all the tips, ideas and hacks on travelling solo, my children now wanna come with because they can see that girl has Joy😅
I love this!! you've fallen in love with yourself and able to love someone else without loving yourself less. I also love being indoors and am yet to travel solo
Guys I'm 15min in and I see all the comments are not good. When does the nonsense start? So far I'm hearing a wise woman 😅. Gape most of you lekwatile 😂😂
Nope I totally disagree men build relationships with their side chicks THEY LOVE THEM😂and we are all not monogamous its just we are conditioned to be as women and we are scared to cheat come on! a man who sleeps around is also collecting spirits
"Not all men cheat". True but I'd argue most would be willing to, the reason they aren't is because most men are unattractive to most women. Give every man money, status, respect from his peers, good health, style, confidence and charisma then watch how they behave. Out of the many women they'll attract if you're being realistic do you think most men will choose one woman? He's got 20 Faith Nketsi's, Beyonce's, Mihlali's or whoever else all showing interest you're telling me most men will just pick 1 and ignore the rest? I'm not so sure about that. Some guys are not necessarily loyal they're just undesirable so the only person they can have is that 1 woman. A man with quality options may marry the one he takes most seriously but I'm not convinced most men are saying no to entertaining other beautiful women if those women are showing interest in him even if it's not sexual.
But in essence she is saying most man cheat it's just that you haven't found out yet and when you do find out you must ignore his business outside home ..as long as he provides .....how sick can that be
The way I wish they could have touched on the FACT that most men would leave a woman in a heartbeat as soon as they found out she cheated... even though he still loves her. If the idea if for both parties in the relationship to do what makes them happy (like Charmaine is suggesting), so why can't men stand it if a woman cheats because she finds happiness in the other guy, but women must just "understand" when men cheat??.. make it make sense!!!
Many are hypocrites. They could never stand a woman who cheats, the grace and understanding is gone instantly. Yet when they do it, they expect all sorts of grace and understanding.
To think Promise was extremely certain that after dragging this salon woman ti the podcast we will all be convinced and be at peace with being cheated on ? 🤔.....Only to find dololo we don't buy it still 😆 must really hit hard
This conversation about cheating is one that most women aren’t ready for. Understanding it comes with age.🤣Very often when men cheat, it has nothing to do with their wives. These men take the decision to cheat and you can’t do anything about someone who has decided to cheat, no matter how much you check his phone and his whereabouts. He will remain dedicated to his mission.
I don’t think men are monogamous by nature, they have to continuously fight temptations to stay loyal, which really isn’t easy for some. Most of them actually want polygamy but…🤐
But even in polygamy they cheat. Clearly, it's not about having 2 or 3. It's about getting whoever you can get whenever you can. They have wives, sidekicks, and probably hookups and one night stands. It's never enough. They want want whoever they want whenever they want and with no repercussions whatsoever nevermind who they hurting or whatever damage it will cause to their life. Its selfishness. Now we have to be conditioned to believe they are are not monogamous by nature. Njani? They just chose to be very selfish in that aspect because they know us women tolerate it.
I love the last part lol where u say they want polygamy but🤐🤐😂😂😂fill in the blanks.
@@Ntuthu28_M 🤣🤣🤣Their wives won’t allow it and some will risk their marriages by simply trying to open that topic with their wives and they don’t want that. But, truth is he won’t let go of the other woman if he also loves her. He’ll even build a family with the other woman if he wants to. You won’t stop him. So why not allow him to take another wife if he wants one?
😂😂WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTER SO THEY CAN “HEAR” YOU AT THE BACK!!🤣🤣🤷🏽♀️A spade is a spade!
@@elizabethchokoe 🤣🤣🤣🤣
really!!! im maried for eleven years & have never cheated.I got married a virgin at 28 years & I AM A MAN..............praise be to the Lord Jesus
That is u and 15 other guys There's billions of us that recognize what she is saying
AMEN PRAISE THE LORD JESUS!!!!!!!!
I think they are referring to majority NOT exceptions.
Well done
I believe you man of God.We thank God
Ladies, if you want to follow the path of wisdom, do not follow the advice this woman is giving. I am not saying that you should divorce your husband as soon as he cheats but the hurt and pain that comes from an unfaithful husband should not be minimized. There are some women who became a shell of themselves due to enduring years of infidelity, only for their man to eventually leave them for another woman. Sex is not to be cheapened as some leisure thing that men do to blow off steam. We who have lived during the AIDS pandemic remember the horrors of couples dying and leaving young children due to promiscuity. We also know of children who have struggled and wept for years because their fathers would not acknowledge them because they did not want to upset their wives or compromise their primary families. If your man is cheating, I advise you to address it in the best way you see fit and heal from that pain. If he continues, do what you see fit, but do not minimize the long-term damage that it does to you emotionally and psychologically. Jesus stated adultery as one of the few provisions for divorce, that tells you something.
Couldn't have said it better
This is joke 😂😂😂😂
I agree with you
I couldn't have said it better there's a lot sexual transmitted decease love yourself enough to protect your yourself, marriage is not an achievement.
Deep analysis of cheating and it's consequences affecting lives immensely
This conversations are all fun and games and until someone gets sick.
A man has the right to choose a monogamous or polygamous relationship but women also have a right to choose whether they want to participate in it or not.
Women are not on this planet for the entertainment and pleasure of men, life goes both ways...
Preach. 💯 this is the truth... we are not born for the pleasure of men. They also neglect to talk about the women who get abused and insulted but their husbands who protect and prefer the precious side chick....we are relegated to being baby makers and maids with degrees and 9 to 5s
This guest is irresponsible actually, we live in a country with the highest HIV/Aids rate in the world however I must choose to ignore my husband or bf when his cheating? She was born in a different era when there wasnt even diseases such as Aids, very backwards in her thinking...
we know you will not agree if we tell you,
when I'm dating another women, you wont even know mos, what are you losing??
@NgakoIsaac-ey4td A man will also not agree to his woman seeing another man, so i guess we should also do it behind your back , the people we are cheating with are also dating us behind their partners backs....This is the fastest way to spiritual contamination and physically getting HIV and STIs
The line between Cheating and loyalty is discipline… I’m naturally designed to crave sugar and fat cakes but iv learned the discipline of avoiding it for over 10years because I love the thinner version of me…and I look amazing 🤩…
If a man really loves you and they are mature enough to master the art of discipline they will never cheat…
Whether they are naturally non-monogamous or not it’s insignificant…
“ a man who is able to rule his spirit is greater than one who can takeover a city” Proverbs 16:32
Truth right here
Everyone deals with temptations, it's a matter of self-control and discipline. Dare I say many can't achieve it until they surrender it to the Lord who knows us and can heal us wherever we're lacking or ailing.
this is the comment I've been looking for....people should stop making excuses about ill disciplined men.
Discipline and integrity. Period.
Honestly speaking cheating is not a mistake as everyone is saying... Cheating is a choice
💯%
They always claim me are able to cheat and not be emotionally attached which is bullshit.
Nje!
So true❤
I agree ☝️ It’s a decision, and you decide if you are going to tolerate your spouse’s decisions which don’t even include you.
She's making excuses now because she's been a side chick since her divorce... Now she wants to ease her conscious by spewing all this nonsense.
makes much sense
Facts
😂😂😂
Was thinking the same thing actually
Correct.
I totally disagree with everything, staying with a cheating man is very painful
I agree with some of the things Charmaine says but i strongly disagree with some.
Whatever a man does outside of the house affects the entire family, i am an HIV orphan so trust me i understand the devastation.
My mother contracted HIV from my father, they passed on 10 months apart and i dont even want to get into the devastation and traumatic life ive had to live with my siblings in my parents absence.
💔🙏
So true, sorry for you loss and pain
Im sorry to hear this❤❤
Sending you love and hugs. She's truly dropping the ball, a.d.u.l.t.e.r.y is never good.
The devil has us by the balls and it's so sad. And shame we keep advising each other nonsense shame just so we can soothe ourselves. All of these won't work. Lol but the sad thing is all of this confusion is specifically designed to take us straight to hell. And the thing that makes me more sad is honestly we don't know better but pleading ignorance also won't save you.
😂😂🤣🤣 hahahahhaa hey you got me in tears wena maarn hahahahahaha!!
nope, the bible never said youll go to hell for having two wives
Whats the point of marriage if we have to accept cheating in marriage
I agree with most things she said,kodwa i will never say "what my man does outside or has sex with is not my problem or business" because that very same mentality has left sooo many loyal wives,girlfriends and innocent children sick
May I never reach this level of maturity
🤦♀🤦♀
May it never locate me 🙏🏾
Please don't
I wonder what did she say about cheating? Hope she didn’t say we should overlook it 😂😂😂 cos that’s what desperation do to people!
Me too...protect me father God abeg🙏
I get where Charmaine is coming from but what he does outside is my business. A lot of loyal wives are sick because of promiscuous men.
Something about this episode just felt pathetic.... 😢I just hope they are genuinely happy and at peace❤
Please stop making excuses men have to restrain themselves, they have to train themselves to be faithful and loyal to their wives. We all know the story of Adam and Eve, if men's nature was to have more than one woman, Adam would have been the first. So guys let go live a life of discipline, let the sidechicks, the concubines, and the other Mseleku kind of wives live their lives.
did you restrain yourself? is your body count 1?? no, so why should we??
we dont want to
This confirms that being single is really not a bad idea hey. Men like this men like that..... All of those are to be done by women.....🙆🏾🙎🏾😂😂.all the best to those that will manage.
i have never had an extra marital affair, never cheated when i dated. we have been married for 12 years, turning 13 years this year. i dont even subscribe to the idea of polygamy
So life is all about catering to men basically. As long as he is happy 👀
That is exactly what I'm hearing... the man is the prize
I wish UA-cam had Voice note options. I wanna scream😂😂😂
No way!
@@desireemashabelaI’m hollering 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Take it from a man, not really when I have loved you to say can we be together don't take it lightly I have chosen you and want to cater, protect to the best of my ability appreciate it and allow me sometimes allow alone time. I believe as long as I respect I love you
I feel sorry for her daughter-in-law 😢
Its funny how you say women should let their men to cheat, come back home and not even care about that. Marriages are broken because, the mr cheaters never came back home to their wives. How are the feelings catered for.....pain, confusion and uncertainty? To me this doesnt make any sense.
Exactly, she thinks she's wise but doesn't know or understand that. Most Marriages don't end just because he cheated, it's because he didn't come home for a weekend and blocked his wife everywhere... It's because the side used Muti to try and unalive the wife and he didn't care and still carried on with the side...wives don't find out about their husbands affairs because they went and looked for the affairs, the man just didn't bother to hide it( several times) That's the part this woman don't get, even promise, she doesn't know that women leave after they endured the worst(usually). For both thier sake, I hope they don't get to experience what most married women experience.
Hey I don’t agree with this view at all.. double standards.. it’s not inspiring…. What type is this one???🤣🤣🤣
promise n the old generation need to understand that we are not in marriage to make it work by tolerating BS. from men who dont wanna grow and act like real MEN should.
Please it's not all Men who cheat. I feel it's wrong to put all Men in one blanket. She must speak her experiences and stop being unfair on Men who live a clean life.
For example?
Very few
@@kulanifulhahaahahahahhaa OMG this episode mara 😂😂!
Musa Mseleku would be so proud of Charmaine and Promise 😂
Older women's perspective on cheating is bewildering to me, maybe one day I'll understand.
Bayanya laba , kubuhlungu uku chethelwa
They are desperate, it's all fun and games until they catch diseases.
Do you live on youtube?😂😂😂😂😂Because honestly every video that I watch,you've already commented on.....we literally watch the same youtube content
This is how I understand them and anyone who's deal breaker is not cheating, there are things in your own relationship/marriage you tolerate that will be a deal breaker for some.
@@ayandasam2269true my dear
Musa Mseleku should take you as the 5th wife.
😭😭
Hahahahhaah😂😂!
All I will say is that your life becomes what you allow. You alone will have to face your choices (where you have influence). Develop yourselves ladies. Life does not revolve around a person that cannot discipline themselves. That indiscipline will spill over in other parts of your life. Choose wisely, choose yourself.
If the ‘blind leading the blind’ was an episode. So sad really. Some opinions are formed from so much hurt.
Not all men cheat. Men can be monogamous. You deserve loyalty and consideration. Discipline is not only for females.
Took the words right out of my mouth
Hahahahhahaaha 😂😂🤣🤣!!
Wait until you experience
@@kabelodejenga8183 in a marriage the goal is to make a conscious decision to prioritize, care for and respect each other.
Cheating is not a mistake. It’s a conscious decision a partner makes to put him/herself above your marriage. Repeated cheating is just simply abuse. It takes a toll on the others physical, mental and most times even financial health. So let’s not lie and reduce sex to just a physical act with no consequences.
Saying a partner having sex outside of your marriage ‘is not cheating’ is a copying mechanism. Cheating is a reckless and selfish act. Whether I experience that or not will not change the truth. We don’t conveniently explain things away just because they have now happened to us.
Ai madam guest you are so wrong in many ways! I suggest you repent because you don’t want to experience the wrath of the Lord! Wrong advice about marriage.
Yep. She and the silly birds in these comments as well as the cheating men who support her need to r.e.p.e.n.t.
It would have hit different if she didn't divorce her husband....because your peace is important. Ladies you can find someone who doesn't cheat. DON'T SETTLE!
good luck on that
She is telling the honest truth about men cheating and women… its the honest truth if you actually think deep about it. Women focus on yourself get your career kicking off, focus on your man when its time to do so… and just design your own marriage… this woman taught me something very valuable in life.
We as men are not happy with one woman, we are constantly fighting a natural instinct and women know it, when you see a guy on social media marrying two wives, you say he's living every man's dream, but somehow, your husband doesn't deserve that dream. WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow I love this Charmaine woman she is so brutal regardless of if we like it or not she is so brave
She is another woman in someone marriage
Thats how i also feel. A lot of women will want to attack her but shes telling the truth
Waitse I see the comments ne.....People can dispute the facts but most women are living in misery because ba phela ba le masecurity a banna.... Charmaine is right. Leave it bandla. Most ya'll merry them foul like that hoping they will change but you know about the leopard right😏
It’s giving bekezela😂😂 yoh ha ah, andizi, andizokwazi😂😂
Tu mntase 😂🤣😂!!
I disagree with some of the things Charmaine said. Polygamy was never about the man but about the home. It was women who picked the wives that will join the family, both biblically and in African culture. In the bible, it was Sarah the wife of Abraham who gave Hagar to be his concubine and bear him more kids. He did not just go and get one because he is horny. Even in Zulu culture its the same. Let us not promote cheating/promiscuity and disguise it under Polygamy, very different things. What a man does inside and outside the home matters to the wife as they are now one in the eyes of God, spiritually they are tied. Let us not lie to ourselves please.
As women we are not truthful, women speak from their personal circumstances and want to exert those to other women as truth. Charmaine's point of view seems like the view of someone who has resigned themselves to be the other woman. Its sad, but its the reality for some women. The question that I would like to ask them though is, does it mean that there is a price to cheating, if you are taking care of me, you have paid your dues, you can cheat, and if you are failing to take care of me, then you haven't paid your dues and can't afford to be cheating?
Brilliant observation.... so a man who earns less than his woman must not cheat. If he can pay the bills he has licence to cheat. Does that then mean the high earning woman can cheat?
@@kphosh🎯
I totally disagree, there are faithful man and women. If you can't be faithful don't get married 🤷
Have you found a faithful man?
@@leratomohlaudi5814 I am happily married to one 😊
I have never in my entire existence thought I would ever hear such bad advice.
I think you regret that you divorced your husband, you are just speaking in parables i do not know what's your the gist of your story.
Sikhaphe amadoda apha emhlabeni 🥱
Well said neh
Charmaine….I agree with you 💯.
Can’t believe I watched this nonsense😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I mean really 😅 Both women and men can cheat. It’s just about respect of your relationship. Stop making it seem like women are robots 😂
Yo! I can’t even finish watching this nonsense! I can’t believe I wasted so much data bathong 🥺😮😏
Yoh, I lost a handful of brain cells watching this until the remaining cells vehemently protested; I obliged and just like you, I exited the sh!t fest. Low vibrational nonsense.
Yoh! Not women idolising cheating men. If you are so open minded then why divorced .
Exactly my point 😂
She's foolish.
She divorced due to violence which was a 100% right move - coz she wouldn’t live long to tell us her truth.
Mara she did mention that she divorced because of violence. It got too violent and the fact that financially she was carrying a big load...
It's OK to accept cheating but please don't bring the Bible into it without understanding the context of why certain things happened. Further more, the consequences are never spoken about. Study the Bible..
The day you reach this level of low self love and low self respect, just know that you are in hell..
@@margaretchauke8484lol the bar is below hell.
It's her saying that if it's a Sthembu situation, at least you know who your husband is sleeping with. Sis, you don't know these men. The polygamist around my area has three wives and a bunch of side chicks. 😂😂😂
Like, Solomon had several wives and even more concubines. 🤦🏽♂️
I am healed. A hard pill to swallow but raw truth.😢
Love is difficult 💔
I feel u
All im saying is once a man sereal cheat trust its broken sorry means nothing woman guard ur health and cheating its not exceptable piriod😢
If you guys want to normalize cheating it's okay for you guys but please don't generalize because we know so many good men who are not cheating. Wena you just meeting with men and know men who cheats.
What I love about this conversation is that we getting advise from a DIVORCEE 😂
But there are a thing or two that we can learn. Like for example, having a life outside of your husband and kids.
Yes and she said she wouldn’t have left if the relationship didn’t get so violence
I wonder why it got violent if she got it figured out. 🤦🏾♀️@@NontobekoMakhoba-kb1nd
Did u listen ? Or u would rather get it from Married lady who is being cheated on and pretend she is happy 😅
@@nombalindlovu1049 yes and still say I love that we getting advice from a DIVORCEE. Who is not interested in getting married again by the way 🫠🫠🫠
Mmh we learn everyday... How about you invite Bakhe Dlamini😊
I failed to understand why she came to the podcast because she didn’t tell her story but they were just having a conversation
She came to advise us that we should forget about soul ties, HIV and the pain that comes with cheating. 😂😂
She must voetseg this one
We still don't know her story 😂😂😂😂 and why did the guy become violent because she didn't care about his business out of home and cheating
😆 🤣 😂 😹
Wena Creme ngizokushaya yazi 🤣
@@boitumeloqueen1580yazi I waited the whole time to get her story, mara dololo 😢! I only remember hearing Promise saying - this is the last question on your marriage then we’ll wrap it up… TBH I think Promise is the one who needed to be consoled ngathi there’s a side chick tsunami in her abode…
Honestly I'd rather be single then. She did all this and still ended up divorced/abused.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 do u guys have to be this brutal mara ? 😂 anina dankie for podcast yazi !!
@@thembisilemsiza942hahahaahahahaha 🤣😂🤣!!
That part. No relationship or marriage is worth this level of trauma and delusion
@@rebekahkingbello9560 😂🤣
Cheating costs money so what a man does outside of the marriage is my business. Family money spent on nonsense
I don't even hv words to say for the very 1stym . Ngiya nivuma bafazi !!!
I thought I was hallucinating. I was starting to question my existence as a woman. Am I just an entertainment toy for men? So even if he brings diseases I should be okay? Hell no.
Couldn’t even watch this episode until the end because this is all nonsense .
I have watched, I ended a good laugh😂 and this is comedy gold😂😂😂😂😂
There are people out there who are in idyllic and ideal marriages filled with loyalty, faithfulness and God at the center. So sad to see that these ladies have settled for much less. 💔
Women are sacred. I like that but i dont agree with men going around planting their seeds😲
Baze bakhohlisana bo 😂😂. Baze babayenzela ema-excuses. May this kind of delusion never locate me.
Is your man certainly faithful?
@@MogauMogakane I don't know, but I refuse to have the mentality that "all men cheat" that kind of negativity shouldn't live rent free in my mind or life. I shouldn't expect the worst from people.
@@noluthandomncube493 the conversation speaks more to nature rather than what is right, and it is not a negative thing to begin because most men do it and we feel within our nature doing it
I learnt to live my life and put myself first in my relationship and marriage in the future ❤
Crazy.
If we made promises to remain faithful,
If we.made vows to stay pure,
We srick to our promise
She is using a bible to suit her narrative, and she is lying.. God never lie, He doesnt contradict himself. He wont put principles that our nature cant fulful then hold us accountable for them.
Women like her are a problem. Being outspoken and eloquent doesnt make the person correct.
And whats this habit of leaving a cheater only to be a side chick, only to put another woman what you went through? If she is right, why not stay celibate?
Bathong! Kanti what year are we in? 😮. In 2024, we have grown woman thinking like this? Sounds like she hated her previous life and being married.
Outchea rewarding people for bad behavior 🙄, also you cant put the bible as reference when the same bible saya dont commit adultery..
She's from the Devil this one
It hurts but it's an honest truth believe it or not. ❤Kuhle kubuhlungu kunjalo
Promise your channel is a blessing. You had a vision and went with it ❤
Thank you soo much
“Men are crazy “ that’s the only thing I heard in this interview
I don't know guys. Taking marriage advice from a whole divorcee seems misguided to me. Anyway, to each their own!
Most of the things she said were true and I pray someday I reach this level of maturity
Wa bona banna basatlore gagola dipelo, if they can hear this!😂😂😂😂
Taba tse ye mongwe le ye mongwe a rie ka mokgo a bonago, I personally can't stand a cheating man!
They are already agreeing with her in the comments. Check the comments written by men
Charmaine for President
She's very honest I totally agrees
But why is she divorced knowing that men cheat? Why did she not stay & accept the cheating?..I don't get her!!
The reason for her divorce was violence not cheating
She left because of violence not cheating
She did not tell her story that's why most of us don't get her,why was the husband violent,because she never cared about his business,manje why the violence
What about HIV and STD!!! Women u better off alone and healthy then sick with a man just because he is taking care of the household.
For such truth I'm coming to brown sugar for nails ❤
Ahhh lena la juthana🌚🤞🏾
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil. Who put darkness for light and light for darkness. Who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
That's Isaiah 5v20
And where are STI's in all of this😢
One of the best contents I have watched
Too much wisdom learnt from Charmaine
Maturity 👌🏾, she is honest and says it as it is…. Braveness overload and I love her
The Thing About The Truth- Is That It Can Hurt. But It Still Remains The Truth Regardless.
I Think As Women We Must Refrain From Wanting To Possess Men. And Putting Them First.
Aunty Charmaine Is Making A Lot Of Sense. And She’s Stating Facts.
It maybe her truth…..
@@rebekahkingbello9560 Based On The Number Of Men Who Aren’t Faithful- Her Version Of Reality Is Truer Than Any Delusion We’d Like To Believe About Men.
Thank you for bringing this matured realistic lady… She’s 100% on point
Her words touched me as a man
Very insightful Charmaine, thank you Promise for inviting Charmaine. I definitely have learned a lot in this episode. Let's just say.... "I can see clearly now the rain is gone"
Solo trips are important, i started solo trips in 2012 o was turning 30 and went to New York (my theme was sex and the city). 2022 i went to Italy for my 40th (theme being eat, pray, love) bona i went to Verona(home of Romeo and Juliet to fall in love with me). Enjoy Zanzibar
I am turning 42 in November and i am so content with me that he is worried there is someone making me happy. I am glowing, always outdoors or travelling. The best fun i have in life is when i am alone😂😂😂. I have all the tips, ideas and hacks on travelling solo, my children now wanna come with because they can see that girl has Joy😅
I love this!! you've fallen in love with yourself and able to love someone else without loving yourself less. I also love being indoors and am yet to travel solo
“Not born monogamous but changed in marriage “ so you guys are saying it’s possible for them not to cheat ?So it’s a choice musi ….
what about sicknesses that comes from the husband sleeping outside.
I didn't think i would agree with what was said😅😅. Its a mans world indeed
I really needed this. This has brought me so much peace. ❤
The truth is very hatd to swallow... Everything is true in this conversation
Truth hurts, but she's telling the truth ❤
Guys I'm 15min in and I see all the comments are not good. When does the nonsense start? So far I'm hearing a wise woman 😅. Gape most of you lekwatile 😂😂
She's spitting facts
She's spitting garbage. 🤮
Nope I totally disagree men build relationships with their side chicks THEY LOVE THEM😂and we are all not monogamous its just we are conditioned to be as women and we are scared to cheat come on! a man who sleeps around is also collecting spirits
"Not all men cheat". True but I'd argue most would be willing to, the reason they aren't is because most men are unattractive to most women. Give every man money, status, respect from his peers, good health, style, confidence and charisma then watch how they behave. Out of the many women they'll attract if you're being realistic do you think most men will choose one woman? He's got 20 Faith Nketsi's, Beyonce's, Mihlali's or whoever else all showing interest you're telling me most men will just pick 1 and ignore the rest? I'm not so sure about that. Some guys are not necessarily loyal they're just undesirable so the only person they can have is that 1 woman. A man with quality options may marry the one he takes most seriously but I'm not convinced most men are saying no to entertaining other beautiful women if those women are showing interest in him even if it's not sexual.
Or marry the one he can manipulate so he can live his dreams
Undesirable men have sex all the time.
This advice is def not biblical, nor is it my spec. Don't tell me to click off either. It's too late
Mna I get Charmaine yaz. I'm a christian lady who's against cheating kodwa I get her.
You get a sidechick as a christian?,when you know what God said about adultery.
That makes the two of us and I always pray for my husband not to cheat coz I don't think I can stand it
It's called maturity sthandwa
But in essence she is saying most man cheat it's just that you haven't found out yet and when you do find out you must ignore his business outside home ..as long as he provides .....how sick can that be
I dont agree with her
They gonna say she’s a “ pick me” for saying this yet they themselves have never met a man that has never cheated on his wife/girlfriend 😂😩
The way I wish they could have touched on the FACT that most men would leave a woman in a heartbeat as soon as they found out she cheated... even though he still loves her.
If the idea if for both parties in the relationship to do what makes them happy (like Charmaine is suggesting), so why can't men stand it if a woman cheats because she finds happiness in the other guy, but women must just "understand" when men cheat??.. make it make sense!!!
Many are hypocrites. They could never stand a woman who cheats, the grace and understanding is gone instantly. Yet when they do it, they expect all sorts of grace and understanding.
Promise is lost in this discussion
😂😂hahahaha 😂!
To think Promise was extremely certain that after dragging this salon woman ti the podcast we will all be convinced and be at peace with being cheated on ? 🤔.....Only to find dololo we don't buy it still 😆 must really hit hard
😅😂 Truth bantu and as woman we need to hear it more often.