Craziest Story of My Life - ICU Delirium / Psychosis ~ Kevin May
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- Опубліковано 16 тра 2020
- This is the Article + Video that inspired this post : www.theatlantic.com/video/arc...
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Dude speaks the truth. I went through that with alcohol withdrawal. It was my first DT. Had no idea about this until researching after it all ended, so I went through it alone in my apartment, Absolutely terrifying. The demonic voices and visuals I can never forget. Along with the feeling of being in HELL.
And you're right bro. This needs to be talked about alot more. Stay safe.
Thank you for sharing this Dustin. I am glad you made it through that terrifying experience. I believe that those of us who've gone through it have a special purpose to bring compassion and healing to others
I was in a coma for 2 months and experienced icu psychosis right before waking up and probably a week after I woke up..I had similar experiences and developed ptsd just from the pyschosis..It felt like I was in purgatory and I was convinced that I was dead..I could write about 10 books on the things I experienced
Dang, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you made it through, and I hope you can alchemize some of the intensity of that experience.
How are people not speaking out about this
Dang bro
That’s intense, especially when you feel it all to be real.
Thanks for sharing
There are warnings on packages of cigarettes at least in my country (Poland), but I think that alcohol companies have so much money and power that no one can write Delirium warnings on products, at least for now.
I had an experience like this in the hospital when I was going through alcohol dt’s. I saw a demon nurse, it was grotesque. Horrific. You’re not alone my friend
thank you for sharing. Im sorry you had to go through the hell realms too. that shit is insane!
yooo. totally get it. shoutout from norway. good luck with everythig bro.
thank you, I appreciate it. thankfully feeling much more stable and grounded, 5 years later.
I would never wish this experience on anyone, but it’s reassuring for me to see I’m not the only one who’s gone through it. I had a very similar experience of a psychotic episode just last year. I too had delusions of being in hell, feeling like the nurses were out to get me, and that I was going to be stuck in the hospital for eternity playing some sick “games” to prolong my life. I’d like to hear more about your story man.
Hey, thank you for watching and sharing this. I'm just reading your comment now. Are you on FB? If you send me a message there, we can communicate easier.
Thank you for the courage, strength and wisdom to record this video. He has given you the strength and you have not let him down with the healing. My precious soulmate is suffering from ICU delirium and I finally won the fight to get access to her in the ICU and begin my therapy with her, to deliver her from the hell she is living in. She's been in the ICU for over 90 days and is fighting for her life. If I'd been able to have access to her sooner she would not be in a serious declined mental state, I'm certain of that.
I'm sorry to hear that. I am praying for you and her that she may return to health and balance.
Thanks for sharing your story bro. Never heard about ICU delirium until recently because my 35 year old brother just went into cardiac arrest a week ago and was resuscitated and was put on these sedatives, fentanyl and the ventilator for a week long. Now he's off and awake and appears to be in a state of psychosis. So I'm pretty sure he's going thru exactly what you went thru. It's tough to see as his brother and feeling helpless but I'm just hoping it passes soon. He says stuff that makes sense and then says stuff that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Crazy shit. Hoping it gets better. 🙏
I was having wild delusions, reliving some of the most exciting times of my life, in the most vivid fashion.
In my mind, I was on jump run, ready to skydive out of a DC3 three miles above the earth . . . going to be the last man out, my favorite position. It was the maximal flying of my body.
Bursting into brilliant sunshine outside the airplane door, I immediately assumed a head dive with my arms tucked behind me (in my mind), feeling the familiar buffeting as I fell beneath the prop blast, watching from upside down as the belly of the enormous silvery plane started to shoot skyward, its huge propellers whirling in slow motion, earth and clouds below mirrored on its underbelly. I was musing over the odd sight of flaps and wheels down (as if landing) while still miles above the ground (all to slow down and minimize wind shock to the exiting jumpers).
I tucked my arms in extra tight in a head-down dive to accelerate briskly to over 220 miles per hour, nothing more than my speckled blue helmet and shoulders against thin upper air to resist the tug of the huge planet below, moving more than the length of a football field every second, the wind roaring by furiously at thrice hurricane speed, louder than anything-ever.
Passing between the tops of two enormous puffy white clouds, I rocketed into the clear chasm between them, green earth and sparkling deep blue sea far below, in my wild, thrilling rush down to join my friends, just barely visible, in the colorful snowflake formation, growing larger every second as other jumpers joined in, far, far below . . .
I was flipping back and forth between being present there in the ICU and being out of my mind in the adrenaline-soaked delusions of a gorgeous skydive.
I was between nutty-and getting it.
For two days I blabbered about skydiving, airplanes, and the Internet to all who would listen. As my physical brain gradually recovered its bearings, I entered a strange and exhausting paranoid universe.
In short, I was a little crazy.
I had an almost identical experience after an MDMA overdose. Thanks for sharing man 😊
Dang, did someone spike your drink or you accidentally took too much?
@@KevinMay222 I was actually allergic to it. Caused my uvula to swell to the size of a golf ball. Choked on it all the way to the hospital. Woke up 3 weeks later in a different city. Strapped to an ICU bed
My brother just had a liver transplant on August 14th 2022. He has been in the hospital since Father's day, June 19th 2022. In the ICU at Tampa General Hospital. Trauma/transplant ward. I love you and thank you for sharing your story. It has given me some insight as to what my brother is going through. He has been incubated 3 times now. (Not currently) Thank God because they would switch him from Propanol to Fentanyl for sedation. Sometimes they would let it wear off when they were switching to the other sed. I was there for almost 2 hrs they had him awake and he was just looking at me trying to talk to me with his eyes...I can't even explain and this brings tears to my eyes as I type this, the desperation in his eyes was fucking heart breaking. I felt my heart actually hurting. Because I always told him I would come scoop if he ever doesn't like whats going on I got his back no matter what. He is my big brother and we are close because we're only 22 months apart. He has called me at 2 am to tell me the nurses are beating him at night time when noone from the family is there. He thinks he is at home, or has just been to the gas station, hears people that are not there.
Hey Amanda, my heart goes out to you and your brother, and your family. I'm sorry he is enduring such a tough situation. After having such horrifying hallucinations, I have deep compassion for anyone who has to suffer thru such pain. If there is anything you can do to help soothe him, like holding his hand, caressing his arm, to help his nervous system relax a bit, I think that is what helped me to come back to a more balanced state.
I had hallucinations too and I was only 10 years old- not on any substance withdrawal for everyone saying this just has to do with substances. Coming out of my coma I fought for my life, pulled out my tubes, hit the nurse, got restrained, got drugged up again-genuinely thought they were executing me.
I was just a kid, so I didn’t know about torture or ‘Sophie’s choice’, I had never seen SAW- and that’s exactly what it was like. I had these crazy horror movie challenges, solving riddles to save my family from being killed, or even selecting people to torture to save myself. Giant nails being hammered into my body. Wild shit! Wtf??
Everyone in my life was soo happy when I ‘got out’ meanwhile I was having a full blown existential crisis at 10 years old lol
Thanks for sharing your experience fr fr
that sounds remarkably similar to what I experienced. this shit is so crazy! ... I appreciate you sharing some of your experience, and I hope you are doing well these days... for me, after going thru such a terrifying experience, the regular challenges of life seem much more manageable
Been in icu twice and now in the past 6 years and the hallucinations were horrific
I'm sorry to hear that. If you are open to sharing, did you learn anything beneficial from those experiences?
Ah, I felt what you were going through when I had covid with pneumonia. And had to be admitted to the ICU with intubation. (less than 30% of oxygen). I went into an induced coma and had the most horrific horror scenes in my life. And was convinced that all the doctors and nurses were trying to kill me and most of them actually were or looked like my friends/classmates from school growing up. Each day in my dreams just felt too real and felt like I was in there for eternity.
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that... yea it is unfathomable how real and terrifying those hallucinations can be. I hope you are feeling more peace and balance now.
The doctors and nurses *were* trying to kill you.
I totally feel the urge to serve the greater collective after some personal trauma. Feels the best way to heal from something like this
Yep, same here. Thank you for watching and receiving my story.
Kevin,
I had a double lung transplant. I definitely know what your talking about. I definitely would like to share with you. I can tell that it scared you to death.
DMT made me feel this way, will never ever do it again
It just happened to me. Its terrifying
I'm sorry you had to go through a similar experience. Have you been able to find some relief since it happened?
It still hard to talk about in. Addition to having a camera watching me at all times I felt that all of them were out to get me .....alien people dressed as male nurses would rape me because they wanted a child it was horrible and since I am. No longer asble to have a baby they told me that I had to force my daught who was 7 months pregnant at the time to force her to sacrifice her baby or they would kill all of us....then in another scenario I was watching TV and on this show these columbian gangstet were trying to get theirs sister into this country and they started talking to me and said we are going to take your identity for her........and you y will mot exist and that they eould bd talking me back columbia and put in a human trafficking ring.....it was horrible
Sounds like the spirit of Salvia at play in icu psychosis
I've never done Salvia, but yes from what I know it is a similar experience.
Dude they are scary. I honestly thought a bunch of people were there that weren't and it felt so real and it's the craziest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I saw the most craziest shit and thought it was so real. The most random shit too.
Yea I can totally relate. So intense. Where you in the ICU when it happened?
Music is like this:
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me
(You might give this old song a listen in the context of the song phrase that came to you.)
(Love your little melody.)
thank you brotha, what is the song titled?
I experienced the same shit when I was in the hospital after geting shot and put into a induced coma for 2 weeks it was fuckin crazy thinking the doctors were trying to set me up or thinking I was able to leave the hospital but I had to be back at a certain time or they wouldn’t let me back into the hospital I was going on fuckin journeys man and I didn’t sleep for 4 days straight the doctors said I guess I was just terrified out of my mind
I hear you, and Im sorry you had to go through all that. it still blows my mind thinking back to that experience. I hope you are doing better these days.
Do you think that potentially we all go through this before dying if we cling to life instead of letting go? Your experience reminded me of the film “Jacob’s Ladder”. Have you seen it?
Some Buddhist traditions speak of many purgatory realms, and clinging will make it last longer... I haven't seen it, but I'll look into it. Thank you :)
can you explain it in simpler english, i don't know english i use google translate. How do you try to recover from delirium? My grandfather had a major operation 3 days ago and sometimes my grandfather is still delirious? Please reply my message
Hello, yes sometimes it can take days or even weeks to fully recover. I recommend helping him do simple tasks that involve his body, tell him stories of fun memories from his life, to help him re-orient into this reality.
❤❤🙏🙏❤️❤️
It's interesting I was just listening to a book by Dr. Rebecca Brown, that explained this phenomena, He came to set the captives free
thank you, I'll check out her work.
During your stay we’re you following commands or did it take a while?
Hello, thank you for watching. I was totally in an altered state for about 4 days in the ICU, not following anyones commands, then I regained my normal state after that pretty quickly and could easily cooperate with doctors.
Thank you so much currently dealing with this with my husband. This information has helped out a lot.
@@Bossladyjb835 My heart goes out to you and your husband. I pray that you and the hospital team can help him to balance out.
I will try this thank you again.
Vid starts @ 8:00
dude this doesnt happen to people who arent on withdrawal
Hmmm, I don’t know man, it just might be believable if every other word out of your mouth wasn’t “like” or “f***in”.....just kinda takes away from the credibility if you ask me.....hope you feel better though....
Hi TerriB, thank you for watching and sharing this. That is good feedback. I know I say like and eff, a lot, and it is because this was an intense experience and I am still processing it.
@Oke Ihenacho thank you so much for sharing all of this. Wow, yea it is so crazy how some of us have had such similar horrifying experiences. Are you on Facebook? If so, I'd like to share some links.
@Oke Ihenacho okay, well if you want to find me on there, I am @KevinMay222
@Oke Ihenacho cool, plz send me a message there, so I can make the connection.
Mine kept saying b.a.n. until I lost my mind and piece of my ear from pistol whip.