I agree Caroline was abused, bullied & had a poor self image BUT...she killed an innocent, vibrant, young girl who was her friend!!!! Rachel was robbed of her future, just because Caroline was jealous of her. IMO she should have recieved a longer sentence
It's ok to feel empathy for the murderer's many problems, but some are expressing empathy ONLY for the murderer. That poor girl's family must be wondering where that judge's empathy was for their dead daughter, and them, when the judge released her early. It's like a slap in the face. I'd feel like my daughter was being victimized all over again.
@@LDiamondz and how does putting a lifelong abuse victim into prison where they will be abused and maybe raped several times again and again for decades constitute empathy for the murdered? Justice isn't about revenge. Stop being so obsessed with punishing people. It's actually the people who deserve your help the least who need it more than anyone else.
@@FlagArmadaProductions I never said I didn't have empathy for her, too. I do. I never said anything about being obsessed with her punishment, either. She did murder an innocent girl, after all, though.
What a sad story. I totally agree with you that what we do to a child will resonate onto society in the future. It reverberates. It does not go away. It creates more victims, including society at large.
It always amazes me that someone kills...murders...someone..takes a life that will never be returned yet the law thinks that life is worth 14 years. It's disgusting.
I think its in hopes the murderer can be rehabilitated...but I get what you're saying...if they are found guilty and the proof is legit, put them down. I just feel bad for falsely accused.
Agree with second objective! But human nature is often unhappy with the disparity of outcomes! Victim is dead or badly hurt and perp is let out of prison to try life again. Perhaps some better punishment (helping others or working in undesirable jobs) should follow the initial sentence so that society can feel more whole?
@@LukeMcGuireoides Well. I never mentioned execution but... tell me you ever been a victim of violence? Cz u sound like a properly indoctrinated college student...
It's like she wanted to kill her old self without actually having to do that to herself physically, but instead by doing that to someone else and stealing their identity.
I think she wanted the freedom to HAVE a self- a chance to live under the same conditions other people enjoy. In order to be treated even remotely fairly, this would demand that she NOT BE HER. Just because. No answers, no way to improve or change things- simply because you're YOU. You can be or act of look a million different ways, but none of this will ever change the fact that other people are accepted and you are unacceptable. INNATELY bad, where being you is NOT an okay thing to be. I think this woman desperately wanted to be allowed to exist.
Oh, this is the case behind the movie, In Her Skin! I recognized it instantly when you started describing it. Thank you for using this case as a reminder of the domino effect. That’s why it’s so important to be kind, especially when it is very difficult. ❤️
@Venice FMC Office It was good. Personally, it’s excruciating for me to watch people being mistreated, especially when I know it actually happened. Same with Boys Don’t Cry. That disturbed me for weeks.
@@annal7364 it’s so much harder when it’s a true story or revolves around a true story versus a work of fiction especially for super empathetic people like us!
At least her victim was a woman, so people tendency to justify female criminals and see them as victim could have set her free. Still it conduced to a lenient sentence, but something is better than nothing.
didn't know about the movie, just watching this horrifying murder on the local news (Australian) is enough. This whole case was a nightmare, especially for green eyed, pale skin girls as I was at that time.
Crazy story. There’s nothing worse than diminishing anyone’s self worth., especially a child’s. It is a crime that ripples through the world causing untold destruction.
I had a bully in middle school and I think I carried that with me for most of my life. I'm 55 now and still remember her voice saying, "She was born!!" in response to a friend telling her, "Leave her alone, Trezz, she never did nothin' to you." Yeah I'm looking at you, "Trezz" Nelligan. It was an all-girl school and I firmly believe that she was a budding lesbian harboring an unwanted crush. Among other things of course. She acted like a particularly nasty boy. That kind of thing stays with you all your life, even when you have success later on. My self-esteem was damaged for a very long time. I had bullies from primary school right through college, believe it or not. My parents were normal (relatively) which is lucky for me. Without that I would have sustained even more permanent damage. Remember how rotten kids can be. Adults too, for that matter.
It’s crazy how when I was bullied I can recall it word for word ...even 40 years later .. it is something that really stays with you ...hopefully for myself it made me a more understanding person .. I cam imagine trezz is a chain smoking miserable alcoholic
I am 49 and was bullied all through Highschool. I can remember everything they said and did from locking me in my locker to blaming me for vandalism they did. They were the hockey team so everyone believed them. It has affected my whole life and stolen my chances at a successful school life. I was so traumatised I couldn’t study and never got accepted into my career of choice because of my grades. I will never forget or forgive. My low self esteem has carried on and even my kids see it. Every act of cruelty has a knock on effect, please be kind ❤️
I feel you. I'm 41, bullied in primary school...it does leave a wound, even when you get over this role and develop into an unbullied adult. There's an ongoing fear of getting into this role again. For example, when two or more friends mock me and laugh, even when it's in a harmless and non-malicious way and I still know that these friends love me, I get into panic mode. Once I understood this I explained to my friends why I get into this reaction, because they were shocked about how I lashed out to them in a state of panic. And whenever people say that all children are innocent little angels, I get annoyed. No, not all of them. Children can be really nasty bullies even as young as 8 or 9. Luckily not all of them, but some. Once you have been on the receiving end of that nastiness, you never forget.
Great analysis and an excellent reminder of how the damage bullying does does not stop with the victim but instead leeches out into everyone else they will interact with in their life.
The rundown on bullying was just phrased beautifully. I was bullied a s a child and it took time for me to break out of that cycle, but I did. Well phrased doctor, I wish more people would take bullying seriously.
@@bthomson thank you. It was hard and took work, a lot of self esteem building which can be difficult. But it is doable if you have support. I made sure to teach my son how to deal with bullies, and to always say something and to stand up for people when he sees it happening. He's a good kid with a kind heart.
@@SpecialBlanket schools rarely do anything. It's unfortunate. I won't say what I went through, but I know that kind of stuff still goas on today and I also have heard stories of bullies beating up kids and the victim getting in trouble for it. It's sad. I wish people would take it seriously.
Well, yeah, I completely agree. However, Dr. Grande speaks as if all people who were bullied as children or had bad parents will go on to cause harm to others. He also implies that this mitigates her having murdered. This is not true, as I can personally attest, and as you have. I was bullied and had parents who did not like me, and have not taken this out on society. This is like saying that all people who were abused as children will go on to abuse their own children. People are not destined to inevitably go on to harm others because they were harmed.
I read the book her mother wrote "Perfect Victim" about her journey through the grief of losing Rachel, the days she was missing, the initial police suspicion of Rachel's boyfriend Manny (which was then quickly dismissed) to the shock and horror of finding out it was Caroline - who had babysat the girls, and the aftermath of the family dealing with the devastation and then the trial. The book included excerpts of Caroline's diary and letters to Caroline's father. It was a painful insight into her own self-hatred and early attempts to create new personas and fantasize about being someone else or to erase her own identity, before she descended into fixating on Rachel. Rachel's mother was incredibly compassionate about Caroline's clear self-hatred and social alienation while exploring her own grief. As well as the fact that Caroline projected fantasies about Rachel's perfection that didn't exist - because Rachel wasn't two-dimensional and had her own struggles and insecurities (such as struggling with and dropping out of school). It was very disturbing and calculated the way Caroline used her relationship with Rachel to build trust and lure her with the promise of an exciting opportunity. Caroline's diary also had detailed lists of how she intended to reinvent herself, including changing her name, getting extensive plastic surgeries, lying to people and creating fascinating backstories, and murdering Rachel. It's bizarre and devastating that she became so obsessed with Rachel that she felt like Rachel needed to die in order for her to reinvent herself. Once in prison, it seemed like she took immediate steps to reinvent herself too (dyed hair, hyperfocus on her appearance, drastic appearance changes in court). A very tragic case through and through, one that has always stuck with me. Glad you did it justice.
It doesn't sound like Caroline changed very much. She showed little or no remorse. If she feels the same way about herself, she might do it again. I feel so bad for Rachel and her family. Did the book say how her family felt about Caroline getting out early, due to a sympathetic judge?
I appreciate your "big picture" analysis on how poor behavior directed at one person can be so devastating to the whole. Chain reaction was spot on. A deep explanation. Dr. Grande=Sage 🦉 🙂🙏🌅👍🌌🌠
If you had to classify Caroline's personality disorder, what would that classification be. The self loathing to her degree isn't typical of theses stories. I want to strongly agree that any bullying or abuse of a child is a crime against society. We as a society need figure this out quickly cause as a society we go exponential in what direction we take. Right now we are exponentially destroying ourselves by a lack of morals and lack thereof humanity. Oh, wanted to add, great vid doc! You will be at a million in no time!
Brilliant review of the case. I've never heard anyone connect the effects of bullying and abuse to society as well as you did. Great job, simple but very powerful picture. Thank you
A very interesting (albeit, tragic) analysis. I remember seeing the posters up outside the Dance Factory when Rachel was missing. Chilling. Decades later, I also realised I was looking at the block of flats (apartments) where Caroline took Rachel. Everyday bullying & demeaning a person’s worth is so insidious.
Your closing remarks starting at 11:33 are truly outstanding, and given my personal experiences, very moving indeed. I'm going to type up your words for keeps.
If Caroline was so deeply damaged at the time of the murder, she likely is the same, now. It's difficult, if not impossible to undue that much damage. Let's hope Caroline doesn't feel fat, ugly, and worthless enough to murder again. She's showed no remorse. That's a bad sign. The judge was right to have empathy for what Caroline went through in her life. He should have had way more empathy for Rachel and her family, too. That girl's family probably felt like she was being victimized all over again, when the judge let C out early. Interesting case, Dr.Grande. I love the ones from outside the US. Never heard of most of them.
Since 1968 I have studied true crime. My fascination has been motive. You always give me such insight into the motive of so many cases. This is one of your bests. Thank you Dr. G. Take care.
I would love to see an analysis on Earl Strickland. A highly volatile and great player in the world of professional pool known for fighting with audiences, officials, breaking cues, talking to himself, and being diagnosed as 'bi-polar.'
Most commenters sympathizing with the murderer Caroline, instead of the murdered young girl Rachel, and her devastated family. Wow, kinda pathetic, TBH.
I agree with you, it's cruel, I remember an aquaintance who told me how much he liked tigers because they're ferocious killers and how much he despises cows for being so docile, many people are like this unfortunately.
Thanks for your compassionate approach to this tragedy. Not many people take the time to point out the actual harm caused by bullying and toxic family environments. Thanks!
I'm appalled by the majority of comments being full of sympathy towards the murderer, who thoroughly planned and executed an atrocious crime. Many people were bullied (and this is horrible) and have low self esteem, but one must have a certain predisposition to kill an innocent human. Showing no remorse is an obvious sociopathic sign. I would totally understand attacking one's perpetrators, but a viscous murder of an innocent girl just out of sick jealousy cuts off all the compassion and sympathy. RIP beautiful Rachel.
"Caroline was immature probably because of her invalidating upbringing" Could I hug you for finally being the only person to be honest and tell me what has always been so wrong with me?
this is an amazing analysis, Dr Grande. How familial bullying affects our society at large. It reminds me a bit of Patricia Highsmith's novel Mr Ripley, where the insecure character murders his successful friend and steals his identity.
Women appear to get lighter prison sentences. First degree pre-meditated murder should attract anywhere from life without to life with parole after a minimum of 25-30 years. 15 years in prison is way too short.
Australia, in many cases I've watched, tend to show much more leniency with shorter sentences or allowing for parole after only a few years in comparison to the USA.
This is an Australian case. They, and the UK and a lot of european countries as well consider a "life" sentence 15 years male or female. Tbh I was surprised she got an entire 21 years when I took into account it was in Australia. Texas would have killed Caroline...and I dont blame them.
Rachel was a friend of mine. Not a good friend, but someone I'd affiliated with and admired my entire adolescent career. She was 4 yrs older than me, we were at the same ballet school for many years. This murder, shaped all of our lives. All the dancers were kept under secure watch for a few years after. We all had to be checked in, and out of the various schools. This murder was pre meditated. And she was obsessed with Rachel. Who was a DEFINITE star. She should never have been released.
Always enjoy your videos. Great ep never heard of this one. It's just honestly so amazing how so so many people throw their one & only life away for absolutely no reason. Do all these people truly believe they will never get caught?
Holy cow Dr. Grande!!! That was THE PERFECT EXPLANATION of treats other how you want to be treated.. loooove how you explained the effects it has on society.. I’ve never heard it put so eloquently in just a few sentences! 👍🏽👏🏽✊🏽 bravo
Such a terribly tragic case! But I also thought it was incredibly important how you explained all the moving parts in this case! Such a great video, Dr. Grande!
Bonjour docteur! Another appalling and sad case! A poor innocent girl was murdered for just beign nice, pretty ,well liked ! 😪 🤯 Not only are your analyses informative, they are brilliant, comme toujours. its in fact a diagnosis to a totally sick disillusioned revolting killer. And she was realeased after only 14 years!? You are just ever so diplomatic! Thank you and hat off for you.Docteur! 👍👏🤩
Thank you for this! I remember the movie about this case starring Kate Winslet as Caroline. It just made my heart ache thinking about the murder and simultaneously the pain Caroline must’ve been in. I’m grateful for this analysis because I’ve always wondered what could make a person do such a deranged thing.
Hi Dr Grande, Any chance you will take a look at the William Tyrell case here in Australia? It's an unsolved disappearance case of a small child that was playing out the front of his foster grandmothers house. For years the investigation focused on a kidnapping but just recently the investigation has changed focus to a possible cover up. Thanks, p.s. I subscribe to about 80 channels on UA-cam and this is by far my favourite
Woah...did you know Ken mains, unsolved no more, JUST covered this?? It's so write-up the very last video I just watched, but I'd never heard of the case before, and now here you are mentioning it!! Coinkidink!!🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Fascinating and informative video, as always. Thanks very much Dr Grande, your videos are always so enjoyable, I love how clear and concise your style of delivery is. 😎
Excellent. Thank you for this. Your Baldwin interview analysis earlier today generated lots of interesting comments. But Alec Baldwin…there is no second gear. Your mastery of this one shimmers in the details: A touching, hard set of circumstances, articulated with your sensitivity. Your skill as a therapist shined when you levitated your viewers up from the dark narrative with a finger of nuanced irony and deadpan delivery. Strong 💪
This sad case should be a big warning to the (young) narcissistic/ low self-esteem people of _Generation Instagram_ to learn how to love and not harming themselves and others. That's why I am really glad and grateful that you came up with this teenagers horrorstory, dear Dr Grande. And RIP to Rachel Barber❣❤🙏❤
Im loving all the aussy cases. As an Australian ive never heard of these cases and its refreshing to heard things happening in your own country instead of everything online being about america.
Eileen UK. DR Grande I found this this video very informative such a tragic and senseless killing my heart goes out to Rachel and her family RIP 🙏🙏. Thank you 🙏 DR Grande another great 👍 video enjoy the rest of your Saturday take care 💙
I haven't been disturbed by your videos in awhile. But this one frightened me because of how much I could relate to Caroline. I mean, I teared up a little when you were describing her alleged backstory at 7:08-7:21. I wasn't mistreated by my parents or anything like that, but I, a guy, have hated my appearance for years and only recently have started taking the arduous steps to accepting and improving how I look. But the jealousy still resonates. It's almost painful to be around those people who are just radiance personified. You want to be part of their world, you yearn for their life, you wish you were them. And the reality that you are in fact not, and are more to the opposite side of the spectrum from where they are, is just soul-crushing. I'd be lying if I said I never wished for some of those seemingly perfect people to be messed up a bit.
There must be some kind of arrogance or disrespect of others to make somebody a murderer. Plenty of people are bullied and mistreated and never murder anybody.
Rachel knew this person and believed she had no reason to distrust her. She was so young, she wouldn't have picked up on the signs of mental illness, she would have been happy to have an older friend relate to her. In adulthood, I've had 2 people copy me, to the point of it being creepy and disturbing. I cut ties when I realized there was a pattern and that some part of me wasn't safe. Like maybe I wouldn't be killed but my ideas would be stolen, or my mannerisms and way of dressing and talking were becoming THEIR identity, or not having a right to saying no and being in control of my living location or who I dated- yeah... One tried to go that far eventually. It didn't happen over night but over YEARS. I'd known one of these people for 10 years, at least. The other I knew for 6- she wasn't as bad. Regardless, there is nothing flattering about someone trying to fuse their identity with you. That's Single White Female (you know, the movie) levels of crazy. "Friends" can love bomb you just like lovers can. It's always people who are jealous of you. Nothing is flattering about that identity stealing level of jealousy. Kick them to the curb! Look at Shanquella Robinson - it wasn't exactly identity stealing but WAS likely fueled by jealousy. Plus, someone HAS hacked IG accounts associated with her and her family and have pretended to be her mom, so it's along the same lines. Love yourself, respect yourself and get those rat b*****ds out of your life!
Who hasn’t been bullied and abused to some extent? I experienced it quite a lot while growing up and I am in my mid 50s now and have never lashed out at anyone. I know a lot of people who were similarly mistreated and they also never lashed out at others. While I wish there was some kind of education that all young kids go through that trains them not to bully others, I think it is kind of good to experience some bullying because I think it exposes you to a darker side of others and helps to prepare you in case you encounter it later on. In the case of this woman, I don’t see why she would snap on Rachel and do this. What would be the point of assuming someone else’s identity if all of Rachel’s characteristics were something that she did not possess: a dancer with a great fit body, clear skin and green eyes? It’s not like she was going to gain these attributes by assuming Rachel’s identity. It doesn’t seem to make sense to me unless you just think of her as being psychotic.
Dr. Grande, over in the UK the trial over the torture and murder of 6 year old Arthur Labinjo-Hughes has recently concluded and his father and step-mother sentenced. I didn't know anything about this until it started cropping up in news reports on news channels I follow. I was greatly disturbed by the events reported. Can you have a look at it?
This is an absolutely tragic case where you want to feel sorry for the perpetrator. This wasn't a murder motivated by money, greed, or sadism. This was the result of someone being put into a mental state of mind where they had very little chance, and unfortunately they took someone down with them. Two lives were lost in this case, and I hope she arrives at a better state of mind before her release. Also getting your book soon, can't wait to read it.
I don't feel sorry for the murderer. She deliberately planned to murder someone and steal her life. It's sad that she was mistreated, but she freely chose to murder someone. No one forced her. Rachael lost her life, and her family will never hear her laugh again. Many people are mistreated and don't decide to murder anyone. I hope she gets mental health care, but ever letting her out seems risky.
"very little chance" of what? Also greed and sadism very much did come into play. Even if they didn't, and you feel empathy, Caroline chose to MURDER Rachel and STEAL her identity. Nobody MADE her do that. Sure people made her feel shit about who she is a person but it's her responsibility and choice to work on her personality disorder. The same as it was her choice to commit pre-meditated murder.
Whatever screws you up as a child, it's your responsibility now as an adult to change the unhelpful and harmful ways you've grown used to dealing with things. What helped you as a child isn't helping you now.
@@Andreamom001 "freely"? She wasn't mentally stable to believe in stealing identity, so no, there's no freedom in her actions, you don't owe her sorry, but you also can't force your view on others who can feel empathy even for those acted the way she did.
I was bullied from the 4th grade till the 8th grade. When in the 8th grade all the bullying stopped as I started to beat up the bullies. Amazing how that works.
What a horrible person. I went to look this up, Rachel's mother is a sweetheart, she says Caroline has never shown any remorse to this day. I have no sympathy. She could have gone on a diet and exercised instead of killing this child. And whatever she did, she should have worked on her INNER ugliness, and she apparently never has. She should have gotten so much more time.
It was an inner ugliness and severe self hatred and loathing that consumed Caroline- All the diet and exercise and even plastic surgery (that she wrote about and actually wanted) would not have helped Caroline find peace of mind.
@@PinoyMysteryChannel yeah but working on her personality disorder would have. Whatever screws you up as a child, it's your responsibility now as an adult to change the unhelpful and harmful ways you've grown used to dealing with things. What helped you as a child isn't helping you now.
I guess I didn't express myself well - I don't mean she shouldn't be fat, who cares, but if she didn't like being fat and out of shape she could have put her energy into changing herself instead of taking a life, and yes, what she NEEDED to do was get help for her inner problems. That's what makes her ugly and horrible. I always remember reading that Margaret Meade was the center of attention everywhere she went because she was smart, curious, kind and decent, and infinitely fascinated with life and therefore fascinating. We're not all pretty, but we can all act kindly and ethically and be responsible.
@@mrssmith1691 I'm sorry, but you can't just decide to love yourself, if you're bullied your whole life and traumatized no, you can't go and "be center of attention" because you're anxious, even if people did find her so, she wouldn't believe them, nobody helped her to go to professional as she actually wasn't needed for anyone (so, if your life proves that your fears are true, there's no way you wake up one day to feel as decent person).
@@melodi996 Thank you. Choice is a luxury, even as applied to our abilities to choose how we will think and feel. If you cut off your child's feet, he's more likely to be ridiculed as a cripple than he is to grow new feet.
Another one I've never heard before, you are on fire Dr. Grande! Thanks for all your hard work. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Merry Christmas to you and your family. 🙏🙏🙏🎅🤶🍭🎄❄☃️⛄🌲
Her childhood was no excuse. I was emotionally abused . Put down excessively, treated like garbage!!!! I do not take it out on anyone. If anything? I got in an abusive marriage, left 15 yrs later. I allowed abuse in my life. I didn’t abuse people. Huge difference!!!! I’ve been bullied at work , I my childhood and as an adult. Abusing others is a CHOICE.
Humm... who else found this case to bring to mind the current issues with Ethan Crumbly? Dr. Grande, I'll look forward to your input after you study the tragic lives and actions of Ethan and his parents. (In the meantime, I know many of us are praying for the comfort of families and friends of the teens who lost their lives at the hands of Ethan; and, for the healing of those who were physically and/or emotionally wounded. I also pray for Ethan who, apparently, was crying out for help, but to no avail.) 💜🌵
@@kimberlyhenke8956 Somehow in my anger toward this family, God has urged me to keep Ethan in my prayers. Apparently, he knew he needed help, but not even his parents cared for him. He lost all hope and has no sense of purpose at only 15 years of age. If you pray, let's keep Ethan, and all our young people, in our prayers. This reminds me of Aiden Fucci, age 14 when he stabbed Trystan 114 times... these kids need to know the love of a Heavenly Father, and that they were created with talent and purpose. Shame on cold, unloving parents. Just my thoughts. 🙏
I wonder what the murdered girl's parents had to say about the judge and the sentence he gave their daughter's killer. I know what I would say to him, but, can't say it here.
@@zumurudlilit I know many where pissed at the judge, she was not their to hold the murderers hand or worry about her feelings. The judges job was simple to pass serious judgment on a murderer no matter how or what her life had been like, Rachel doesn’t get to live her full life because of her murderous rage. She has no business out in society around other citizens.
Not only a homicide is trading places, but so is Dr Grande from a 3am upload to 11am (in my city.. Coincidentally the one in video)... Fabulous! great. Now I've lost my excuse to stay up all night waiting, guess I'm taking a 12.8833 minute bathroom break.
I strongly sympathize with how Caroline felt but she shouldn't have been let out. She took a young girls life and I highly doubt her self hatred issues have been fixed. The minimum should have at least been 25 years. She liked it in there anyways.
It's so weird living on the other side of the world and hearing stories about my beloved Melbourne...a little creepy too though. I used to live just off Bridge Rd in Richmond. 😮 This case is a little Single White Female don't you think? Thank you Dr Grande for covering stories from all around the world as opposed to sticking just to your own backyard...your content is awesome. 😊
@@grimslade0 Total legend...really glad I came across his channel. Loved Bridge Rd...cafes, restaurants & bars were awesome. I reckon this crime seems more fitting to have happened in Footscray though 😂😂😂
@@JennyTolios me too :) and oh yeah, it's definitely more of a Footscray or Melton thing.. I would say Frankston.. But that's probably unfair to Caroline. Ha.
@@grimslade0 Hahaha...totally forgot about Frankston! 😂😂😂 Oh by the way...congrats on finally getting out of lockdown! Saw all the celebrations in the CBD and pissed myself laughing at everyone whooping it up on their balconies! 😉
Sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of those microaggressions, most of us are used to view ourselves as victims and this shows that we can be both, it is a heartbreaking reality. Thank you Dr. Grande you always shed some light on the details, with a critical analysis that is truly remarkable!
Oh God... the level of self hatred is so extreme. 😪 I had a very low self-esteem and CBT has been a godsend! Now I'm in a place where I'm starting to kinda like myself... its a loooong way though and still not there yet. at least I'm starting to feel worthy of the things I have. I hope Caroline can find the help she needs and the acceptance and validation she should have had as a child. I'm a big fan of the TV show 30 Rock and they call that the "Chain reaction of mental anguish" 🤣 Such an accurate name for it. Thanks for the video DrG ❤
Hi Dr. Grande. Can you give your thoughts on the Nancy Argentino death involving wrestling star Jimmy Snuka? Was he mentally well? Was the court right in dismissing the trial due to dementia? What are your thoughts on Vince McMahon’s role in the aftermath. Did he help cover it up?
I love the point about the failure of the parents the suffering of society caused by that failure. I hope society can learn to hold the parents of criminals like mass shooters accountable for the actions of their children. individuals don't exist in a vacuum and don't just appear out of thin air.
Caroline does not look ugly or fat in the pictures I found of her, and definitely not obese. It makes me doubt some things she says about herself. She has also never shown any remorse for her crime. She would have gotten a life sentence in Texas, possibly even a death sentence.
It's terrible that the judge seemed to have more empathy for the murderer than the victim. The fact that she shows no remorse makes it clear she could do it again, under the right circumstances. If Rachel were my daughter, I'd feel like she was being victimized all over again, by the judge letting C out early. No justice for Rachel. Sad.
I agree Caroline was abused, bullied & had a poor self image BUT...she killed an innocent, vibrant, young girl who was her friend!!!! Rachel was robbed of her future, just because Caroline was jealous of her. IMO she should have recieved a longer sentence
It's ok to feel empathy for the murderer's many problems, but some are expressing empathy ONLY for the murderer. That poor girl's family must be wondering where that judge's empathy was for their dead daughter, and them, when the judge released her early. It's like a slap in the face. I'd feel like my daughter was being victimized all over again.
Yeah!
This site is about understanding abnormal psychology. Hence, the understanding.
@@LDiamondz and how does putting a lifelong abuse victim into prison where they will be abused and maybe raped several times again and again for decades constitute empathy for the murdered? Justice isn't about revenge. Stop being so obsessed with punishing people. It's actually the people who deserve your help the least who need it more than anyone else.
@@FlagArmadaProductions I never said I didn't have empathy for her, too. I do. I never said anything about being obsessed with her punishment, either. She did murder an innocent girl, after all, though.
What a sad story. I totally agree with you that what we do to a child will resonate onto society in the future. It reverberates. It does not go away. It creates more victims, including society at large.
It always amazes me that someone kills...murders...someone..takes a life that will never be returned yet the law thinks that life is worth 14 years. It's disgusting.
I think its in hopes the murderer can be rehabilitated...but I get what you're saying...if they are found guilty and the proof is legit, put them down. I just feel bad for falsely accused.
Agree with second objective! But human nature is often unhappy with the disparity of outcomes! Victim is dead or badly hurt and perp is let out of prison to try life again. Perhaps some better punishment (helping others or working in undesirable jobs) should follow the initial sentence so that society can feel more whole?
@@LukeMcGuireoides too much probably. You play probably with your daughters life
@@LukeMcGuireoides Well. I never mentioned execution but... tell me you ever been a victim of violence? Cz u sound like a properly indoctrinated college student...
Louder for the people in the back!
It's like she wanted to kill her old self without actually having to do that to herself physically, but instead by doing that to someone else and stealing their identity.
I think she wanted the freedom to HAVE a self- a chance to live under the same conditions other people enjoy. In order to be treated even remotely fairly, this would demand that she NOT BE HER.
Just because.
No answers, no way to improve or change things- simply because you're YOU. You can be or act of look a million different ways, but none of this will ever change the fact that other people are accepted and you are unacceptable. INNATELY bad, where being you is NOT an okay thing to be.
I think this woman desperately wanted to be allowed to exist.
Oh, this is the case behind the movie, In Her Skin! I recognized it instantly when you started describing it. Thank you for using this case as a reminder of the domino effect. That’s why it’s so important to be kind, especially when it is very difficult. ❤️
@Venice FMC Office It was good. Personally, it’s excruciating for me to watch people being mistreated, especially when I know it actually happened. Same with Boys Don’t Cry. That disturbed me for weeks.
@@annal7364 it’s so much harder when it’s a true story or revolves around a true story versus a work of fiction especially for super empathetic people like us!
At least her victim was a woman, so people tendency to justify female criminals and see them as victim could have set her free. Still it conduced to a lenient sentence, but something is better than nothing.
Oh yeah! I didnt realize it til you said that!
didn't know about the movie, just watching this horrifying murder on the local news (Australian) is enough. This whole case was a nightmare, especially for green eyed, pale skin girls as I was at that time.
Crazy story. There’s nothing worse than diminishing anyone’s self worth., especially a child’s. It is a crime that ripples through the world causing untold destruction.
I would say murdering your friend is worse.
I think Rachel would disagree
@@rullmourn1142 by many orders of magnitude, yes.
@@rullmourn1142 they weren't friends though, just knew each other from childhood.
@@rullmourn1142 Yup that certainly seems a whole lot worse.
"Caroline was probably immature due to her invalidating upbringing." Wow, that really caught me off guard and is so true.
I had a bully in middle school and I think I carried that with me for most of my life. I'm 55 now and still remember her voice saying, "She was born!!" in response to a friend telling her, "Leave her alone, Trezz, she never did nothin' to you." Yeah I'm looking at you, "Trezz" Nelligan. It was an all-girl school and I firmly believe that she was a budding lesbian harboring an unwanted crush. Among other things of course. She acted like a particularly nasty boy. That kind of thing stays with you all your life, even when you have success later on. My self-esteem was damaged for a very long time. I had bullies from primary school right through college, believe it or not. My parents were normal (relatively) which is lucky for me. Without that I would have sustained even more permanent damage. Remember how rotten kids can be. Adults too, for that matter.
It’s crazy how when I was bullied I can recall it word for word ...even 40 years later .. it is something that really stays with you ...hopefully for myself it made me a more understanding person .. I cam imagine trezz is a chain smoking miserable alcoholic
I am 49 and was bullied all through Highschool. I can remember everything they said and did from locking me in my locker to blaming me for vandalism they did. They were the hockey team so everyone believed them. It has affected my whole life and stolen my chances at a successful school life. I was so traumatised I couldn’t study and never got accepted into my career of choice because of my grades. I will never forget or forgive. My low self esteem has carried on and even my kids see it. Every act of cruelty has a knock on effect, please be kind ❤️
@@francescaoconnor2314 Well said. Many people don't realize the severe and lasting damage that bullying can cause a person.
I feel you. I'm 41, bullied in primary school...it does leave a wound, even when you get over this role and develop into an unbullied adult. There's an ongoing fear of getting into this role again. For example, when two or more friends mock me and laugh, even when it's in a harmless and non-malicious way and I still know that these friends love me, I get into panic mode. Once I understood this I explained to my friends why I get into this reaction, because they were shocked about how I lashed out to them in a state of panic.
And whenever people say that all children are innocent little angels, I get annoyed. No, not all of them. Children can be really nasty bullies even as young as 8 or 9. Luckily not all of them, but some. Once you have been on the receiving end of that nastiness, you never forget.
my bully broke my skateboard on my head but yeah feelings are also important
Thank you Dr Grande, for your calm and sensitive analysis of this case . Thank you Dr Grande, hope you have a great day.
Great analysis and an excellent reminder of how the damage bullying does does not stop with the victim but instead leeches out into everyone else they will interact with in their life.
The rundown on bullying was just phrased beautifully. I was bullied a s a child and it took time for me to break out of that cycle, but I did.
Well phrased doctor, I wish more people would take bullying seriously.
Breaking the cycle! Good work!🎖🏆🏅
@@bthomson thank you. It was hard and took work, a lot of self esteem building which can be difficult. But it is doable if you have support.
I made sure to teach my son how to deal with bullies, and to always say something and to stand up for people when he sees it happening. He's a good kid with a kind heart.
@@SpecialBlanket schools rarely do anything. It's unfortunate. I won't say what I went through, but I know that kind of stuff still goas on today and I also have heard stories of bullies beating up kids and the victim getting in trouble for it. It's sad. I wish people would take it seriously.
Well, yeah, I completely agree. However, Dr. Grande speaks as if all people who were bullied as children or had bad parents will go on to cause harm to others. He also implies that this mitigates her having murdered. This is not true, as I can personally attest, and as you have. I was bullied and had parents who did not like me, and have not taken this out on society. This is like saying that all people who were abused as children will go on to abuse their own children. People are not destined to inevitably go on to harm others because they were harmed.
@@natekeyes2297 I agree. Some abused kids turn anger inward, some outward and some do both.
I read the book her mother wrote "Perfect Victim" about her journey through the grief of losing Rachel, the days she was missing, the initial police suspicion of Rachel's boyfriend Manny (which was then quickly dismissed) to the shock and horror of finding out it was Caroline - who had babysat the girls, and the aftermath of the family dealing with the devastation and then the trial.
The book included excerpts of Caroline's diary and letters to Caroline's father. It was a painful insight into her own self-hatred and early attempts to create new personas and fantasize about being someone else or to erase her own identity, before she descended into fixating on Rachel. Rachel's mother was incredibly compassionate about Caroline's clear self-hatred and social alienation while exploring her own grief. As well as the fact that Caroline projected fantasies about Rachel's perfection that didn't exist - because Rachel wasn't two-dimensional and had her own struggles and insecurities (such as struggling with and dropping out of school).
It was very disturbing and calculated the way Caroline used her relationship with Rachel to build trust and lure her with the promise of an exciting opportunity. Caroline's diary also had detailed lists of how she intended to reinvent herself, including changing her name, getting extensive plastic surgeries, lying to people and creating fascinating backstories, and murdering Rachel. It's bizarre and devastating that she became so obsessed with Rachel that she felt like Rachel needed to die in order for her to reinvent herself. Once in prison, it seemed like she took immediate steps to reinvent herself too (dyed hair, hyperfocus on her appearance, drastic appearance changes in court). A very tragic case through and through, one that has always stuck with me. Glad you did it justice.
It doesn't sound like Caroline changed very much. She showed little or no remorse. If she feels the same way about herself, she might do it again. I feel so bad for Rachel and her family. Did the book say how her family felt about Caroline getting out early, due to a sympathetic judge?
I appreciate your "big picture" analysis on how poor behavior directed at one person can be so devastating to the whole.
Chain reaction was spot on.
A deep explanation.
Dr. Grande=Sage 🦉
🙂🙏🌅👍🌌🌠
Masterful!
Excellent comment, Erik. I agree.
If you had to classify Caroline's personality disorder, what would that classification be. The self loathing to her degree isn't typical of theses stories.
I want to strongly agree that any bullying or abuse of a child is a crime against society. We as a society need figure this out quickly cause as a society we go exponential in what direction we take. Right now we are exponentially destroying ourselves by a lack of morals and lack thereof humanity.
Oh, wanted to add, great vid doc! You will be at a million in no time!
Brilliant review of the case. I've never heard anyone connect the effects of bullying and abuse to society as well as you did. Great job, simple but very powerful picture. Thank you
A very interesting (albeit, tragic) analysis.
I remember seeing the posters up outside the Dance Factory when Rachel was missing. Chilling.
Decades later, I also realised I was looking at the block of flats (apartments) where Caroline took Rachel.
Everyday bullying & demeaning a person’s worth is so insidious.
Those last words are profound and almost brought me to tears as they ring so true. Thank you Dr. Grande for another insightful analysis.
Your closing remarks starting at 11:33 are truly outstanding, and given my personal experiences, very moving indeed. I'm going to type up your words for keeps.
If Caroline was so deeply damaged at the time of the murder, she likely is the same, now. It's difficult, if not impossible to undue that much damage. Let's hope Caroline doesn't feel fat, ugly, and worthless enough to murder again. She's showed no remorse. That's a bad sign. The judge was right to have empathy for what Caroline went through in her life. He should have had way more empathy for Rachel and her family, too. That girl's family probably felt like she was being victimized all over again, when the judge let C out early.
Interesting case, Dr.Grande. I love the ones from outside the US. Never heard of most of them.
Oh absolutely. Apparently Caroline has a personality disorder, so the chances of her changing are slim to none.
Sad on so many levels. Thank for sharing your insights. Too many kids are bearing these heavy negative burdens-god help us do better.
Since 1968 I have studied true crime. My fascination has been motive. You always give me such insight into the motive of so many cases. This is one of your bests. Thank you Dr. G. Take care.
"she didn't believe she was worthless, she knew she was worthless."
This used to be me, after a lifetime of earing this from my mother.
I would love to see an analysis on Earl Strickland. A highly volatile and great player in the world of professional pool known for fighting with audiences, officials, breaking cues, talking to himself, and being diagnosed as 'bi-polar.'
Dr. G, you're great in name and in your professional ability to analyze people and cases.
Yes! He is grand!
Most commenters sympathizing with the murderer Caroline, instead of the murdered young girl Rachel, and her devastated family.
Wow, kinda pathetic, TBH.
I agree with you, it's cruel, I remember an aquaintance who told me how much he liked tigers because they're ferocious killers and how much he despises cows for being so docile, many people are like this unfortunately.
Thanks for your compassionate approach to this tragedy. Not many people take the time to point out the actual harm caused by bullying and toxic family environments. Thanks!
I'm appalled by the majority of comments being full of sympathy towards the murderer, who thoroughly planned and executed an atrocious crime.
Many people were bullied (and this is horrible) and have low self esteem, but one must have a certain predisposition to kill an innocent human. Showing no remorse is an obvious sociopathic sign.
I would totally understand attacking one's perpetrators, but a viscous murder of an innocent girl just out of sick jealousy cuts off all the compassion and sympathy.
RIP beautiful Rachel.
"Caroline was immature probably because of her invalidating upbringing" Could I hug you for finally being the only person to be honest and tell me what has always been so wrong with me?
this is an amazing analysis, Dr Grande. How familial bullying affects our society at large. It reminds me a bit of Patricia Highsmith's novel Mr Ripley, where the insecure character murders his successful friend and steals his identity.
Dr G Proud of your analysis.
Never been this early.
It's 4 AM here in Nairobi Kenya.
I'm glad you did an analysis on this case. Thank you Dr. Grande.
11:27 Your closing point about the indirect societal damages perpetuated by bad parenting and bullying is very important.
Insightful and sensitive analysis of a very sad situation.
Thank you Dr. Grande.❤️
Women appear to get lighter prison sentences. First degree pre-meditated murder should attract anywhere from life without to life with parole after a minimum of 25-30 years. 15 years in prison is way too short.
Not just appear, women DO get lighter sentences.
Australia, in many cases I've watched, tend to show much more leniency with shorter sentences or allowing for parole after only a few years in comparison to the USA.
@@KatAdVictoriam Quite right. The UK too.
This is an Australian case. They, and the UK and a lot of european countries as well consider a "life" sentence 15 years male or female. Tbh I was surprised she got an entire 21 years when I took into account it was in Australia. Texas would have killed Caroline...and I dont blame them.
Almost 10 PM Dr. Grande my eyes are too tired to keep reading my book, so I’ll just watch and listen to you thank you.
You make me happy.
14 years for murder? Where did this happen Richmond, Canada?
No, Melbourne Australia-
@@PinoyMysteryChannelNo surprise there!🤣
Not much penalty for murdering someone.
Just want to send out another of the numerous thanks yous to Dr. Grande for all your hard work in bringing us entertainment.
Rachel was a friend of mine. Not a good friend, but someone I'd affiliated with and admired my entire adolescent career. She was 4 yrs older than me, we were at the same ballet school for many years.
This murder, shaped all of our lives. All the dancers were kept under secure watch for a few years after.
We all had to be checked in, and out of the various schools.
This murder was pre meditated. And she was obsessed with Rachel. Who was a DEFINITE star.
She should never have been released.
Fascinating and GREAT analysis of the scenario and possible reasonings.
NEVER take a taxi to the location where one is going to dump the body.
Wow! Amazing analysis once again, Dr Grande. I love it when a different "spin" is placed on a situation like this.
Always enjoy your videos. Great ep never heard of this one.
It's just honestly so amazing how so so many people throw their one & only life away for absolutely no reason. Do all these people truly believe they will never get caught?
Fascinating that the judge was so lenient in that case. Did she use the insanity plea?
Holy cow Dr. Grande!!! That was THE PERFECT EXPLANATION of treats other how you want to be treated.. loooove how you explained the effects it has on society.. I’ve never heard it put so eloquently in just a few sentences! 👍🏽👏🏽✊🏽 bravo
Excellent analysis Dr Grande. Favorite episode!
That so sad that Caroline killed Rachel so that she can be loved. That she can have self worth.
Great analysis Dr Grande!!
Such a terribly tragic case!
But I also thought it was incredibly important how you explained all the moving parts in this case!
Such a great video, Dr. Grande!
Bonjour docteur! Another appalling and sad case! A poor innocent girl was murdered for just beign nice, pretty ,well liked ! 😪 🤯 Not only are your analyses informative, they are brilliant, comme toujours. its in fact a diagnosis to a totally sick disillusioned revolting killer. And she was realeased after only 14 years!?
You are just ever so diplomatic! Thank you and hat off for you.Docteur! 👍👏🤩
AMEN AMEN AMEN TO YOUR FINAL CONCLUSION!!!!!!!
Thank you for this! I remember the movie about this case starring Kate Winslet as Caroline. It just made my heart ache thinking about the murder and simultaneously the pain Caroline must’ve been in. I’m grateful for this analysis because I’ve always wondered what could make a person do such a deranged thing.
Ruth Bradley actually played Caroline but yes she does look a lot like Kate-
Do you mean the movie about folie a deux, Heavenly Creatures.
People are super crazy.....
Thank you for this case..
Hi Dr Grande,
Any chance you will take a look at the William Tyrell case here in Australia?
It's an unsolved disappearance case of a small child that was playing out the front of his foster grandmothers house.
For years the investigation focused on a kidnapping but just recently the investigation has changed focus to a possible cover up.
Thanks, p.s. I subscribe to about 80 channels on UA-cam and this is by far my favourite
Woah...did you know Ken mains, unsolved no more, JUST covered this?? It's so write-up the very last video I just watched, but I'd never heard of the case before, and now here you are mentioning it!! Coinkidink!!🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Fascinating and informative video, as always. Thanks very much Dr Grande, your videos are always so enjoyable, I love how clear and concise your style of delivery is. 😎
Excellent. Thank you for this. Your Baldwin interview analysis earlier today generated lots of interesting comments. But Alec Baldwin…there is no second gear.
Your mastery of this one shimmers in the details:
A touching, hard set of circumstances, articulated with your sensitivity. Your skill as a therapist shined when you levitated your viewers up from the dark narrative with a finger of nuanced irony and deadpan delivery. Strong 💪
Truly heartbreaking and scary!!!! I hope she gets self confidence!!!
Prayers for Rachel's Family. 💔💔💔🙏🙏🙏💐💐💐
This sad case should be a big warning to the (young) narcissistic/ low self-esteem people of _Generation Instagram_ to learn how to love and not harming themselves and others. That's why I am really glad and grateful that you came up with this teenagers horrorstory, dear Dr Grande. And RIP to Rachel Barber❣❤🙏❤
Actually the girl wld be my exact age 39. So this happened in my generation. And I feel like Caroline. I got bpd.
But I don't want to steal anyone's identity
Love your analysis Dr Grande, this one reminds me of John Lennon’s murder. Any chance on an analysis on that case?
Dr Grande do an analysis of the Cindy James case!!!
Im loving all the aussy cases. As an Australian ive never heard of these cases and its refreshing to heard things happening in your own country instead of everything online being about america.
Eileen UK. DR Grande I found this this video very informative such a tragic and senseless killing my heart goes out to Rachel and her family RIP 🙏🙏. Thank you 🙏 DR Grande another great 👍 video enjoy the rest of your Saturday take care 💙
Great analysis, thanks doc.
I haven't been disturbed by your videos in awhile. But this one frightened me because of how much I could relate to Caroline. I mean, I teared up a little when you were describing her alleged backstory at 7:08-7:21. I wasn't mistreated by my parents or anything like that, but I, a guy, have hated my appearance for years and only recently have started taking the arduous steps to accepting and improving how I look. But the jealousy still resonates. It's almost painful to be around those people who are just radiance personified. You want to be part of their world, you yearn for their life, you wish you were them. And the reality that you are in fact not, and are more to the opposite side of the spectrum from where they are, is just soul-crushing. I'd be lying if I said I never wished for some of those seemingly perfect people to be messed up a bit.
There must be some kind of arrogance or disrespect of others to make somebody a murderer. Plenty of people are bullied and mistreated and never murder anybody.
Rachel knew this person and believed she had no reason to distrust her. She was so young, she wouldn't have picked up on the signs of mental illness, she would have been happy to have an older friend relate to her.
In adulthood, I've had 2 people copy me, to the point of it being creepy and disturbing. I cut ties when I realized there was a pattern and that some part of me wasn't safe. Like maybe I wouldn't be killed but my ideas would be stolen, or my mannerisms and way of dressing and talking were becoming THEIR identity, or not having a right to saying no and being in control of my living location or who I dated- yeah... One tried to go that far eventually. It didn't happen over night but over YEARS. I'd known one of these people for 10 years, at least. The other I knew for 6- she wasn't as bad. Regardless, there is nothing flattering about someone trying to fuse their identity with you. That's Single White Female (you know, the movie) levels of crazy.
"Friends" can love bomb you just like lovers can. It's always people who are jealous of you. Nothing is flattering about that identity stealing level of jealousy. Kick them to the curb! Look at Shanquella Robinson - it wasn't exactly identity stealing but WAS likely fueled by jealousy. Plus, someone HAS hacked IG accounts associated with her and her family and have pretended to be her mom, so it's along the same lines.
Love yourself, respect yourself and get those rat b*****ds out of your life!
Who hasn’t been bullied and abused to some extent? I experienced it quite a lot while growing up and I am in my mid 50s now and have never lashed out at anyone. I know a lot of people who were similarly mistreated and they also never lashed out at others. While I wish there was some kind of education that all young kids go through that trains them not to bully others, I think it is kind of good to experience some bullying because I think it exposes you to a darker side of others and helps to prepare you in case you encounter it later on.
In the case of this woman, I don’t see why she would snap on Rachel and do this. What would be the point of assuming someone else’s identity if all of Rachel’s characteristics were something that she did not possess: a dancer with a great fit body, clear skin and green eyes? It’s not like she was going to gain these attributes by assuming Rachel’s identity. It doesn’t seem to make sense to me unless you just think of her as being psychotic.
Dr. Grande, over in the UK the trial over the torture and murder of 6 year old Arthur Labinjo-Hughes has recently concluded and his father and step-mother sentenced. I didn't know anything about this until it started cropping up in news reports on news channels I follow. I was greatly disturbed by the events reported. Can you have a look at it?
This is an absolutely tragic case where you want to feel sorry for the perpetrator. This wasn't a murder motivated by money, greed, or sadism. This was the result of someone being put into a mental state of mind where they had very little chance, and unfortunately they took someone down with them. Two lives were lost in this case, and I hope she arrives at a better state of mind before her release. Also getting your book soon, can't wait to read it.
I don't feel sorry for the murderer. She deliberately planned to murder someone and steal her life. It's sad that she was mistreated, but she freely chose to murder someone. No one forced her. Rachael lost her life, and her family will never hear her laugh again. Many people are mistreated and don't decide to murder anyone. I hope she gets mental health care, but ever letting her out seems risky.
"very little chance" of what? Also greed and sadism very much did come into play. Even if they didn't, and you feel empathy, Caroline chose to MURDER Rachel and STEAL her identity. Nobody MADE her do that. Sure people made her feel shit about who she is a person but it's her responsibility and choice to work on her personality disorder. The same as it was her choice to commit pre-meditated murder.
Whatever screws you up as a child, it's your responsibility now as an adult to change the unhelpful and harmful ways you've grown used to dealing with things. What helped you as a child isn't helping you now.
Perhaps not money, greed, or sadism. But jealousy is just as terrible.
@@Andreamom001 "freely"? She wasn't mentally stable to believe in stealing identity, so no, there's no freedom in her actions, you don't owe her sorry, but you also can't force your view on others who can feel empathy even for those acted the way she did.
I was bullied from the 4th grade till the 8th grade. When in the 8th grade all the bullying stopped as I started to beat up the bullies. Amazing how that works.
How will people / society stay safe when criminals are released?
Wow, this reminds me of that movie "The Talented Mr. Ripley". Chilling.
What a horrible person. I went to look this up, Rachel's mother is a sweetheart, she says Caroline has never shown any remorse to this day. I have no sympathy. She could have gone on a diet and exercised instead of killing this child. And whatever she did, she should have worked on her INNER ugliness, and she apparently never has. She should have gotten so much more time.
It was an inner ugliness and severe self hatred and loathing that consumed Caroline- All the diet and exercise and even plastic surgery (that she wrote about and actually wanted) would not have helped Caroline find peace of mind.
@@PinoyMysteryChannel yeah but working on her personality disorder would have. Whatever screws you up as a child, it's your responsibility now as an adult to change the unhelpful and harmful ways you've grown used to dealing with things. What helped you as a child isn't helping you now.
I guess I didn't express myself well - I don't mean she shouldn't be fat, who cares, but if she didn't like being fat and out of shape she could have put her energy into changing herself instead of taking a life, and yes, what she NEEDED to do was get help for her inner problems. That's what makes her ugly and horrible. I always remember reading that Margaret Meade was the center of attention everywhere she went because she was smart, curious, kind and decent, and infinitely fascinated with life and therefore fascinating. We're not all pretty, but we can all act kindly and ethically and be responsible.
@@mrssmith1691 I'm sorry, but you can't just decide to love yourself, if you're bullied your whole life and traumatized no, you can't go and "be center of attention" because you're anxious, even if people did find her so, she wouldn't believe them, nobody helped her to go to professional as she actually wasn't needed for anyone (so, if your life proves that your fears are true, there's no way you wake up one day to feel as decent person).
@@melodi996 Thank you. Choice is a luxury, even as applied to our abilities to choose how we will think and feel.
If you cut off your child's feet, he's more likely to be ridiculed as a cripple than he is to grow new feet.
Another one I've never heard before, you are on fire Dr. Grande! Thanks for all your hard work. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Merry Christmas to you and your family. 🙏🙏🙏🎅🤶🍭🎄❄☃️⛄🌲
Her childhood was no excuse. I was emotionally abused . Put down excessively, treated like garbage!!!! I do not take it out on anyone. If anything? I got in an abusive marriage, left 15 yrs later. I allowed abuse in my life. I didn’t abuse people. Huge difference!!!! I’ve been bullied at work , I my childhood and as an adult. Abusing others is a CHOICE.
Another Fasinating and Extremely Interesting Video Dr.!! You're Amazing!! Thank You Sooo Much!!🏜⭐🌌💗💕
Thanks for doing this case
Humm... who else found this case to bring to mind the current issues with Ethan Crumbly? Dr. Grande, I'll look forward to your input after you study the tragic lives and actions of Ethan and his parents. (In the meantime, I know many of us are praying for the comfort of families and friends of the teens who lost their lives at the hands of Ethan; and, for the healing of those who were physically and/or emotionally wounded. I also pray for Ethan who, apparently, was crying out for help, but to no avail.) 💜🌵
I was thinking this exactly!!
@@kimberlyhenke8956 Now I see Dr. Grande is already on top of this developing case. The doctor is amazing, isn't he.
@@thesongbird2383 Literally 15 minutes after i commented! Hes definitely on top of things!
@@kimberlyhenke8956 Somehow in my anger toward this family, God has urged me to keep Ethan in my prayers. Apparently, he knew he needed help, but not even his parents cared for him. He lost all hope and has no sense of purpose at only 15 years of age. If you pray, let's keep Ethan, and all our young people, in our prayers. This reminds me of Aiden Fucci, age 14 when he stabbed Trystan 114 times... these kids need to know the love of a Heavenly Father, and that they were created with talent and purpose. Shame on cold, unloving parents. Just my thoughts. 🙏
Reminds me of “Single White Female” with Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh. JJL started to slowly take over BF’s identity.
I wonder what the murdered girl's parents had to say about the judge and the sentence he gave their daughter's killer.
I know what I would say to him, but, can't say it here.
Maybe they are smarter and more mature than you.
@@zumurudlilit I know many where pissed at the judge, she was not their to hold the murderers hand or worry about her feelings. The judges job was simple to pass serious judgment on a murderer no matter how or what her life had been like, Rachel doesn’t get to live her full life because of her murderous rage. She has no business out in society around other citizens.
Not only a homicide is trading places, but so is Dr Grande from a 3am upload to 11am (in my city.. Coincidentally the one in video)... Fabulous! great. Now I've lost my excuse to stay up all night waiting, guess I'm taking a 12.8833 minute bathroom break.
Great message about bullying! Thanks Dr. Grande!☺️
I strongly sympathize with how Caroline felt but she shouldn't have been let out. She took a young girls life and I highly doubt her self hatred issues have been fixed. The minimum should have at least been 25 years. She liked it in there anyways.
Hey Dr G. I'm admiring your Christmas decorations. Must have taken a bit to get them all up and your little cacti seem excited about them.☃️🎄❤
excellent analysis, Dr Grande
I saw this story on "Deadly Women" recently. Rachel seemed like a lovely, talented person.
Hey Dr Grande, please speculate on the Crumbleys, thank you 😊
I love your end statement! So true!
It's so weird living on the other side of the world and hearing stories about my beloved Melbourne...a little creepy too though. I used to live just off Bridge Rd in Richmond. 😮 This case is a little Single White Female don't you think? Thank you Dr Grande for covering stories from all around the world as opposed to sticking just to your own backyard...your content is awesome. 😊
Ha, I've lived off Bridge Rd too, twice.. Better watch out 👀 Dr Grande's 'heads up' don't have a jurisdiction. What a legend, amirite?
@@grimslade0 Total legend...really glad I came across his channel. Loved Bridge Rd...cafes, restaurants & bars were awesome. I reckon this crime seems more fitting to have happened in Footscray though 😂😂😂
@@JennyTolios me too :) and oh yeah, it's definitely more of a Footscray or Melton thing.. I would say Frankston.. But that's probably unfair to Caroline. Ha.
Would anyone want him to do Bojack Horseman? I would…
@@grimslade0 Hahaha...totally forgot about Frankston! 😂😂😂 Oh by the way...congrats on finally getting out of lockdown! Saw all the celebrations in the CBD and pissed myself laughing at everyone whooping it up on their balconies! 😉
Hey Dr. Grande, as a throwback type of episode, you should cover the death of Michael Hutchence from INXS
True wisdom spoken here about bullying and cruelty whether from peers or parents. 11:00
Sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of those microaggressions, most of us are used to view ourselves as victims and this shows that we can be both, it is a heartbreaking reality. Thank you Dr. Grande you always shed some light on the details, with a critical analysis that is truly remarkable!
Oh God... the level of self hatred is so extreme. 😪
I had a very low self-esteem and CBT has been a godsend! Now I'm in a place where I'm starting to kinda like myself... its a loooong way though and still not there yet. at least I'm starting to feel worthy of the things I have.
I hope Caroline can find the help she needs and the acceptance and validation she should have had as a child.
I'm a big fan of the TV show 30 Rock and they call that the "Chain reaction of mental anguish" 🤣
Such an accurate name for it.
Thanks for the video DrG ❤
Some sad stuff man. Rachael was murdered for just simply existing.
Good morning Doct. Grande from. Germany
Sir. you are so on point and Finally I understand personal bievior
Thanks to u
Great lesson much appreciate
Hi Dr. Grande. Can you give your thoughts on the Nancy Argentino death involving wrestling star Jimmy Snuka? Was he mentally well? Was the court right in dismissing the trial due to dementia? What are your thoughts on Vince McMahon’s role in the aftermath. Did he help cover it up?
Hi! Jimmy Snuka was one of my favorite Wrestlers!
Checkout “unsolved no more” with Ken mains … some good stuff about that case over there.
Also Dark Side if the Ring, but I am m interested in the psychological factors.
I love the point about the failure of the parents the suffering of society caused by that failure. I hope society can learn to hold the parents of criminals like mass shooters accountable for the actions of their children. individuals don't exist in a vacuum and don't just appear out of thin air.
I really enjoy listening to you doc.
Caroline does not look ugly or fat in the pictures I found of her, and definitely not obese. It makes me doubt some things she says about herself. She has also never shown any remorse for her crime.
She would have gotten a life sentence in Texas, possibly even a death sentence.
It's terrible that the judge seemed to have more empathy for the murderer than the victim. The fact that she shows no remorse makes it clear she could do it again, under the right circumstances. If Rachel were my daughter, I'd feel like she was being victimized all over again, by the judge letting C out early. No justice for Rachel. Sad.
This one was particularly sad to me. I'm not sure why. Great analysis as usual doctor.
Murder, to keep the cockles of my heart warm on a cold night. Thank you Dr Grande.