OCD Religious Themes and Scrupulosity
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- Опубліковано 16 лис 2024
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This is the scariest shit yo i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy
I remember I had this as a kid. I would slap myself, or hit my head against the walls, or start whispering. My mom said I was just looking for attention and I came to believe it was all my fault. When I was doing my compulsions I would tell my mom, "Sorry it won't happen again", and then I did it again. I almost killed myself because of this.
I stopped going to church because of this. Because when I was listening to the preacher I would have intrusive thoughts and then I would cry a lot when I came home. I thought it was better to stop going to church. I still don't go to church to this day.
I cried the first time Chrissie told her experience with OCD because then I realized that what I had was not my fault and there are other people like me. It gave me peace.
Can completely relate yo what you say!
Btw, how are you doing today?
I have ocd too its hard. To function every day i have depression too its. Hard to get out of bed. Because of my depression and anxiety but i take medication so it helps me to try to live a normal life. I pray for everyone who has mental illness. Like me. Have a nice day
I feel the same way, it’s hard sometimes, to get out of bed to face all this. But, it helps to get up by thinking of others who have it worse and then I put on some upbeat music from the 80’s to change into a happier state of mind. 😊 Do things you can control to get your mind off the crud that wants to keep you down. ❤️
Hi Chrissie, I totally relate to the pain that you describe related to this disorder and when it mixes in faith. I think I have scrupulosity but its a bit different than what you describe. For me its more about recurrent, intense, obsessional doubts about my Christian faith. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 14, so I have approached these doubts like a theme of OCD. I have several times been driven to the point where I just feel like giving up on my faith but it is so important to me that I don't want to do that. What I want is to be certain that I do believe in the core elements of my faith, but I am almost always questioning some part. This week it has been about whether I believe and agree with the concept of sin (which feels super shameful to write). I notice that I get triggered by things that send me into these doubt spirals but it is so hard for me to prevent the spirals and have the strength to handle the debilitating thoughts/feelings associated with them. I fight to not reassure myself but when I get into these tough periods, I feel my brain is working in overdrive, and reassuring thoughts pop up almost automatically. I'm not enjoying my life like I feel I should and I feel completely lost in these moments where I question my moral compass. Then, when I am not triggered, I can feel convinced and secure about my faith. I have been dealing with this for a couple of years now and I struggle to accept that this is OCD and not just my lack of conviction about sin, as an example. I would get lots of anxiety and panic during church services and still get anxiety about taking communion because I don't want to take it wrongfully (when I am doubting something so crucial to my faith as sin and forgiveness). Do you have any thoughts?
I have some thoughts on this. I have also OCD and also ocd about the biblical worldview. I am afraid if I am thinking wrong, that I am not biblically enough about topic like Sex, identity, depending on god and about if I am doing everything right. I feel like I have to be perfect in every sentence I say and think, sothat I can glorify god. I have also ocd about rather I am allowed to be a own Identitity or If I own myself, because in my language, a bible Verse say "you dont belong to your self anymore, but you belong to god". I am having Therapy now and am working on my ocd. My tip for you is, to go to the doctor too. We are humans, we are imperfect, something can get wrong and sick in Our brains. God made our brains and Our bodies, he knows what it is capable of and what the Limits are. Religion can make sick, God knows it. God made a world that is much bigger than Our churches, our beliefs about him even. God understands that the World is bigger and that not every problem can be solved through praying. God wants YOU to be PIECEFULL, full of life.
The Lord is my (A)shepherd; I shall not (B)want.
2 He makes me lie down in green (C)pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
3 He (D)restores my soul.
He (E)leads me in (F)paths of righteousness[b]
for his (G)name's sake.
God is for us, regardless wheter we are biblically perfect not. He knows what you are thinking and is not ashamed of it. He is the Master of the creation, and it is okay and normal to be not alligned with the bible 100 precent. You have your own Intuition, your own valiues and your own point of view. It is okay to be a different opinion then the bible sometimes. Everyone has at least a Single thing where we are not agreeing. Let yourself be a human, you are whole through yourself allone. Jesus holds you in his loving Arms, he loves you and died for Our imperfections, so that you can find Peace and Joy. who the Son Sets free, is free indeed. We are going to be Set free, he is also there in therapysessions and when we are scared. He loves you with your doubts and imperfections. We are gonna make it, sister in Christ!
@Emelie. Thanks for sharing that. I really feel for you and the torment you are experiencing. I understand the questioning of elements of your Faith and the doubt make you question wherever you are saved…Then I question my contrition and my confessions, are they valid if I doubt and and I receiving communion worthily. This leads to a overwhelming fear of not being forgiven and offending God and spirals into lost hope and despair. It also makes me unable to have joy and peace and love others and I get into putting up a front of being okay and I feel insincere and like I am faking it and everything feels like a trap of hopelessness but like you I don’t want to give up on God because He has been so important to me. I keep fighting and I hope you will too.
Thank you. I'm really glad to have found your channel. I was dx'd about 2 years ago. Just went thru a horrendous day of a 15-hour prayer loop. This video has really calmed me way down. I've tried Scrupulosity Facebook groups, but I just found them more triggering than helpful. Listening to you has shut my mind off for the first time today. You're doing good. Please keep doing it. I've subscribed.
Wow i feel this right now :,( im crying cause u describe it so exact😥😣
Wow i feel every word soooo deep😮 thank you so much!!!!😘🙏💞
honestly. i have dealt with this for a while. a long while. one time, i was just getting all of these unwanted, intrusive thoughts and my ocd telling me that i didn’t really believe in God although i knew that i did (and do). literally one of the WORST themes to ever go through. i am currently going through this right now. it is so consuming and exhausting. i know that i believe in God, i’m even working on my relationship with him to make it even stronger. i have all of these intrusive thoughts about going to hell and whatnot and it’s absolutely, horrifically terrifying. absolute worst. if anyone else is going through this, i’m here for you and you can always talk to me. we’ll get through this together.
I’m the same... I don’t have anyone to really relate to over this.. do you want to talk? Unless ur better and don’t want to go back I get that. Ik I believe in God but I keep pushing him away because of all the guilt and I feel like God won’t listen to me unless I know what I believe and know the truth. Do u have like Snapchat or something that we could talk easier? Again only if u want.
@@Militant_Vegan hey love! we can definitely talk. my snap is jc_caylensgirl
You are not alone. I feel like this a lot and can't sleep sometimes.
I'm going through some serious hadephobia myself, and intrusive blasphemous thoughts about God. I know this is several years old now, but I need some help and people who understand
@@laurakirkegaard6870 i understand! you can always talk to me!
This is taking a really sensitive, overwhelming, complicated, and scary topic and you're just breaking it down and explaining it with understanding and empathy. You make it sound really simple somehow. It can be tough to explain that something is unhealthy without implying that there is shame associated with it, but you seem to do that really naturally.
@psyched
Yes you are right about that
I want to get to the point with my OCD where I’m just able to laugh at it like you’re able to do with yours 😂 thank you for all of your videos, this one describes a part of my OCD to a t
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this Chrissie! I've finally found out about this at 41...I feel hopeful and terrified. Your story and understanding is so helpful.
Love your videos they help me out a lot. Can you have UNWANTED intrusive feelings with images?
i dealt with that :( use GODS WORD
Knowing that I have this now and her explain my whole situation is curing it.
Thank you so much.
Sure?!
Hope you’re doing better
I think I've had every ocd theme going out there absolutely relentless at times. I'm a preacher as well and get the privelage to preach in church's in Scotland this adds to my torment went it should be a time of enjoyment
I am a believer as well who is working through OCD. Feel free to hit me up at tynewc@gmail.com. Done a little preaching as well.
Thats Insane to be a preacher with ocd.
I will need to speak to my nurse about this one, it can be deadly to me if I don't get it sorted. I had a very strict religious upbringing and nearly carried it on when I got involved with the 2 cults.
I have horrible intrusive thoughts often but far worse are the synchronicities. And Chrissie Hodges is the only person I can relate to but she had the exact same belief about God punishing her that I do except one difference. She believed God sent her horrible thoughts as punishment for being evil. I believe God sends me horrible synchronicities as punishment or judgement or condemnation for being evil.
I know my intrusive thoughts happen in my brain but synchronicities have a magical or numinous or ethereal quality and for reasons I can't go into I feel are sent to me by God. Except their horrible! And torment me to no end. Never let me off the hook and never release the pressure!
Chrissy it feels like a Godsend to hear One other person who had this specific nightmare experience that I've been going through for two years now.
I struggle with this so hard everyday..
I agree, I am Catholic Christian and I remember when I had scrupulosity. When you go to confessions you don't feel good afterwards. You always check was your confessions valid and did I just commit a mortal sin, that makes it even worse if you have sexual themes OCD.
This video is very helpful! Thank you so much! 🙂
I didn't necessarily have fears but I was just CONSTANTLY occupied on a cognitive level with religion, hymns, theology, Jesus,Bible, sermons, books etc... It squeezed out so many other things. So glad that religion is gone from my life.
Thanks for sharing. Not sure if I interpreted this right but please don't throw out the baby with the bath water. Just because you have OCD doesn't mean you can't know God/Jesus. Overcoming OCD is the key, not throwing out God. He wants people to learn how to overcome this stuff as well and give you a life of abundance.
@@tylernewcomb2052 I'm not sure I have OCD I'm just highly conscientious as an inborn trait and I took the Bible very seriously. Then I became so dissatisfied and bored after many years of that that I was compulsively seeking for more of an experience than. what I have been having for the past several years. Long story short I eventually left the relationship on the grounds of spiritual abandonment. I just could no longer work myself up. Then I went through a several years long deconstruction process. I'm totally convinced that it didn't historically happen. But happy Easter anyway. Hallelujah there's NO HELL!
Tormenting thoughts. Is what i get. I think medication helps. Me. My therapist says follow the anxiety trail. Thank you Chrissie. Im Jeffrey
please help me how to beat this ocd my ocd is a scropolocity with a bet in it. it goes like this everytime i play games if i lose my ocd will kick in and say that the devil will get my soul.. im so scared.. i dont know what to do everytime even when i eat my ocd will say if you eat this this mean your selling your soul.. it drives me crazy every move i do is countered by my ocd :(
Depersonalization
Derealization
OCD
Scrupulosity
Panic attacks
Psychosis
Schizoeffective disorder
Main fear deep in my core is that hell is real and that I have committed blasphemy of his spirit. Hell terrifies me so much that I can become paralyzed by it.. I feel like this life is hell to a degree.. However, the enemy feeds on our fears so I find comfort knowing that it says he will never leave, nor forsake us.
God bless you Chris!
Hello Chrissie
I have problems with cursing and vulgar thoughts in my mind. If you would, can you give me pointers on what I can do to get rid of them? Thank you!
Oh. My. Goodness. I keep saying “Yes yes yes” to everything you are saying.
I’m dying inside. This describes me all over the map.
I have had these for years. Im in NJ and looking for a good OCD therapist.
I try to tell myself that God is loving, forgiving, mercyful and understanding but I just can't make myself stop worrying about the sins a make on daily basis I'm having a real hard time I experience so much stress and bad feelings through out the day I can't love or worship a God that I'm afraid of it's just tearing me apart I hate being so sinful I hate being bi because it's a sin and it's haram and it's against everything I'm told and taught and the pressure my family, my loved ones put on me is just too much for me to handle by myself I know that it's wrong and I'm really trying to change myself and the way I'm thinking but it's just too much to deal with all on my own scared of judgment I feel like I let God and my loved ones down I feel like a worthless being I feel like a dissapointment to everyone I'm so sorry to let my parents down, dissapoint or hurt them I never wanted them to feel ashamed of me because they have been dissapointed a lot through out their life and I just feel like another dissapointment to them and before that 2 or 3 years ago I was also very obsessed for every move I did I apologised and repeated same words and phrases again and again asking and begging for forgiveness I was losing my mind I cried a lot because I felt like the most sinful person yes I did stupid things but I was just a kid I was making deals with God and in my mind I was doing the right thing when obviously what I did was not healthy or right at all I was just obssesed with God and religion and I believed in demons and angles so I prayed to God to protect me from bad, evil spirits I was so scared and now it feels like it's starting over again instead of getting closer to God and imp my bound with him I feel ashamed and afraid of making mistakes I fear God and after life and demons and hell I'm so scared that I can't stop thinking about this kind of stuff it's distancing me from God than bringing me closer to him I hope me state of mind improves and God forgives me and my sins I really regret doing the bad, sinful things I did oh dear good God please forgive me for my sins and keep me clean bring me closer to you and don't turn your back to me, help me become a better person and recover from my mental illnesses, Amen.
I would say keep seeking God as He is with you but also recognize OCD and learn to not empower that by engaging it. I am learning to walk with God wholeheartedly while also recognizing OCD themes about Him that are not real.
That is a prayer I pray with you. I despair as well about so many things but I am trying to persevere. May God help is through all this
Hi Chirssie! Do you know if people have also experienced intrusive thoughts on which what if God wants you to do these horrible things? I experience the sexual and violent intrusive thoughts and my faith has been a big factor in helping me through it but OCD has managed to take even that from me. Thanks!
YES!!! I have also experienced those questions (ex: what if this is really GOD and I am not being obedient, etc)
Keep faith in your self pal and christ
@@larindaw4379 I've learned that if even I were wrong that what I am experiencing is OCD and not God, God sees that my heart is just wanting to please Him. I believe God honors that intent to do His will
? God is love, compassionate, and kindness He would not want you to do horrible things that are against his character. It’s just a crap doubt disorder that can cause a lot of angst. God knows you’re struggling and He doesn’t condemn you for it.
What spirituality do you subscribe to ? ❤
Thank you for this video xxx
For me it’s the over obsession on if this is ok to do or not, with like everything I enjoy lol
Thank you for this.
I have hocd and I need help i know that I need help but I’m just a kid and I can’t get help
Kid napkin aye bro if you need anything let’s hat I suffer from it as well maybe we can help each other from it
I suffer from scrupulosity as well. My ocd theme isn’t that I have offended god it’s that I have killed him. I live in terror all the time and am about at my wits end. Could someone please help?
@99. That’s a tough one. I get it bad too but that is horrible and I hope you can get relief
Is this why I keep jumping from religion to religion obsessively? I need to find the right religion, I need to know what God is real and it causes me so much stress not knowing
Survival Bacon well Christianity has the most solid proofs the Greeks told of a man named Christ who was crucified but I understand
Andrea Uribe we’ll see who is burning in hell or not :)
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart Jeremiah 29:13
Maybe someone could help me figure out what i am going through. I had my first episode with this at 13 and just became obsessed with being left behind in the rapture. Ive been hospitalized bc i would be tormented with fears of being a devil worshiper. Id say prayers to God and even Catholic prayers although I'm not Catholic i would go to confession. I'm being treated for ocd with religious... But i still have the thoughts. I hear hail lucifer in my head but its not me thinking it. I pray that i am ocd bc if not then i really need to pray but I'm not overly tryin to be a goody goodm. I mean, ive stolen in the past, had sex a lot and i honestly did not care. I don't care about being a super good person but am i really ocd or could this be demonic harrassment? Please help
It's definitely ocd
There's two issues at play. OCD and still the very real need to know God. It does sound like OCD but just because you struggle with OCD does not mean you don't walk with God. As an example, if you are overly concerned about every little thing you do and always wonder if you're pleasing God to the point of mental torture, that needs to be overcome and is likely OCD. But overcoming that doesn't mean you don't care about walking in relationship to God. Seek Him with all your heart and still learn how to overcome OCD. Hope you find that helpful.
Chrissie help me pls, I have email you.. I'm hopeless😢 I'm just 16 yet almost all ocd tries to destroy me specially HOCD..
@leki. How are you 5 years later?
Hey Chrissie I'm wondering if someone feels as if they are needed to physically fall flat on their face turn circles, walk backwards or fall backwards to make things right with God is this scrupulosity? My husband thinks God is wanting him to do these things so that he won't fail in life. I don't understand why he thinks that if he doesn't do these rituals, he is disobeying God and doomed to fail and go to hell! I'm so lost..Please help
Keep faith in you r sel mate its bad action s and deeds that make bad people not thoughts bro
@ Carolyn. I pray for you
How do you stop stressing over the end times/rapture? That scares me and wondering if I am saved!
Yes me too
My mom thinks I did something bad and that I am going to hell but I didn't. So it makes me question myself and kept me up at night
For me, it's a constant fear I'm going slipup and commit blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in my mind it. I think I did slip up out of metal anguish. It's seems like such a final sin in the Bible... It's terrifying. Wish I could afford help.
I think you're likely experiencing OCD. OCD attacks what's important to you. It's hard to differentiate OCD from true spiritual issues as the OCD has spiritual themes. But if it's filled with anxiety like that, I would say it's likely an OCD theme your experiencing.
I am 15 and facing more than I can😔😔 it's for about 5 months being stressed and I couldn't handle it anymore and the problem is religion!!!!
So what’s the difference between certainty and doing evidence based cbt?
Aha I think I know what the difference is!!! When I’m being attacked/overwhelmed with my ocd I want to get rid of my thoughts and anxiety where instead I need to jus let my thoughts come through
i was going through to with this about the demon stuff thats my obssesion specially when i pray, what should i do how will i combat this ? please do answer its driving me insane
I am glad that u are not condemning Christianity here ur are trying to tell that those who are healthy can keep good relationship with God but OCD patient can't keep it causes trouble and this is what it needs to sort out .