You need to get rid of anxieties. Meditation, drinking lots of passiflora and valerian herb tea, orchid bubble baths, that will calm you down and you'll sleep well. Playing an enthralling videogame or listening to good music can make you sweat the stress away. You already know your options. If you win your position, you get more money (but also it sounds, more work), and if you don't, you are damn right that there is no point to stay where people won't make you "advance", but you don't have to make drastic decisions either, and whatever ends up happening you'll have time to breathe and reflect about what you really want to do and about better options, because there are always better options (or the option to close your mind to them when you feel comfortable enough). Wasn't there a botanical garden you liked in your city? Maybe a visit could relax you.
Thirty is indeed a transition point. All one can do when one's future is the hands of others is to soldier on and do the best one can do under the circumstances. One thing you can do for sure is try to get a decent amount of sleep before the big show on Friday.
Good luck, I really hope you get the pronation. I'm a big fan of yours and understand what you are going thru
You need to get rid of anxieties. Meditation, drinking lots of passiflora and valerian herb tea, orchid bubble baths, that will calm you down and you'll sleep well. Playing an enthralling videogame or listening to good music can make you sweat the stress away. You already know your options. If you win your position, you get more money (but also it sounds, more work), and if you don't, you are damn right that there is no point to stay where people won't make you "advance", but you don't have to make drastic decisions either, and whatever ends up happening you'll have time to breathe and reflect about what you really want to do and about better options, because there are always better options (or the option to close your mind to them when you feel comfortable enough). Wasn't there a botanical garden you liked in your city? Maybe a visit could relax you.
Thirty is indeed a transition point. All one can do when one's future is the hands of others is to soldier on and do the best one can do under the circumstances. One thing you can do for sure is try to get a decent amount of sleep before the big show on Friday.