The Subway Guy
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
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The devil on my shoulder tells me to goon to japanese animus while listening to this vid. The other devil on the other shoulder concurs.
Hmm, what to do... 😅
Jared Fogle both made and unmade Subway. They tried a year without his ads, so the he got fat rumors started, ergo sales dropped 30%. So they brought him back. Obviously they ate it when it turned out what they'd hired.
Did you hear about the dad in Arkansas facing murder charges for killing a man who raped his daughter and then abducted her? This just happened.
Does your father drive a "Jaaaag"?
Because "extended barrowing" of watches sounds like something someone who drives a "jaaaaaaaaaggggg" would do.
Super size me: "This is what a hamburger looks like in your stomach." *Puts it in a glass jar*. "Your stomach works exactly the same as a glass jar."
His career began and ended trying to get into smaller pants.
Damn. I mean... damn. 🗿
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
This better become the highest-rated comment of all time.
I know that this is funny but something still makes it feel too wrong to laugh
Ohhhh damn, Facepalm. Well played sir 👏
Even his prison sentence wasn’t 18.
💀💀💀💀
This made me laugh more than it should have lol.
😂
When I was in 2nd Grade, our School had famous snowboarder Shaun White show up to give a presentation about both snowboarding and himself, and it was really cool.
My cousin, who is a few years older than me, is eternally pissed about that. Why? Because the celebrity they got when *he* was in 2nd Grade was Jared Fogle.
Cool snowboard guy vs pedo sandwich guy. Yeah, damn, I feel for your cousin man! 😂
That's sad and amusing at the same time.
😂
And his farts have been whispers ever since.
Your cousin is right about that.
"Practicing Jew", "two strips of bacon"
Rabbi's not going to be happy about that one...
"Zionsville"
*noticing intensifies*
It has to be made up by someone in Subway marketing. I mean, the level of goofy of his pre-Subway habits, like eating a hamburger at bedtime (Haha, got the burger chains.), is goofy as hell.
Pretty sure the Bacon was underage as well.
@@Piant_GenisThats nothing.
Indianapolis also has a "Whitestown"
Pretty sure the Bacon was also underage
kicked out of 109 fast food joints
It was never his fault! He was always the victim! Anti-jaredites keep oppressing him!
I just noticed so hard
They have a nose for such places.
I guess subway considered him the chosen one
It was never my fault though
The BBC will hire him.
So will Kamala
So would any synagogue
@@pcraft8785 And any Mosque.
They’d protect him too
*pleased World Economic Forum noises*
Jersey Mike would NEVER.
Dank's comment feed is one of the best things about youtube 😂
His real name is Peter Cancro, not Mike :(
Dibellas and the guys at Firehouse Subs could NEVER.
Of course not, their spokesman is God Among Men, Danny DeVito. A soul too pure to harm children.
Neither would jimmy john
The Simpson’s quote from Chief Wiggum was an omen:
“I’m Jared from the Subway ads: I’m only a little overweight & sexually ambiguous”
$5 foot-long.
@@freecat1278 the rolls were good too :P
@@freecat1278The Micky D's Happy Meal can't be beaten......."Hqppiness is coming."
How Jewish of him
Hollywood knows PDF.Files because Hollywood is f***ing children... and remember, Hollywood acts like children too.
He's kicking himself. He could've just converted to Islam instead and hopped on a raft to England. Out in 6 months if he were prosecuted at all. Ironically, typing this could get me arrested in the UK with a harsher prison sentence.
It's a sad state of affairs when calling out PDF files comes with a harsher sentence than fucking kids!
There is no greater protection afforded to, than the tribe he already belongs to
I support this man's message, please arrest me too
And my axe!
And my sling
When I was 10 in 2005, I begged my mom to skip just one day of YMCA summer day camp at the community center. She let me do it just that once, even though we were suposed to meet Jared the Subway guy, there to "teach us about healthy eating." Thanks mom.
"Fogling" needs to be a word for when someone in prominent position gets busted doing something so stupidly inappropriate/illegal.
Isn't Foglings a monster in the Witcher?
Being Arrested on three counts of Fogling is no joke.
Like Munson in kingpin 😅
Uhh we have Shawn Combing
J Faggle the Jew
I worked there when this happened. He got erased so fast we had blank menu panels for a week before they could print and send replacements from corporate. Their directions for if anyone asked about it were basically "Jared who?" and to not say anything.
Oh my god that sounds like a South Park episode 😭
That's actually hilarious. Even though it should not be.
The memory holing is hilarious. I wonder if some of your customers had a nice chuckle over that absurdity.
Bruh same! We had to go thru the coke fridge and make sure none of them had a “Share a Coke with: Jared” on them thats how stringent they were about cleaning it up
@kos2919 I know some of them did because it's come up in conversation here and there in the last couple years.
The only celebrity I've ever met happened to be Jared. He came to my school when I was in 6th grade. All the kids in my class were thrilled to bits to meet Jared the Subway guy; little did we know 20 something years later, he probably REALLY ENJOYED coming to all of these elementary schools and giving talks or whatever it was he was doing
I met joe exotic…. 😂
@@pranc236 how did that go ?😂
I can just see him calling it "talks... or whatever" in his company's official correspondence with the schools.
@@Cop-rk1bf awkward at best. A man with tight leather pants and a leg holster does not make you feel comfortable. 😂. I told my GF at the time “meth lives here”. Turns out, i was right. We did get to play with a 6 week old tiger though.
@@pranc236 thanks for the reply 😂
This is what we get for deserting Quiznos.
Completely forgot Quiznos was a thing
@@tardisman4210 yeah it’s crap so no surprise .
WE LOVE THE SUUUuuubs
@@MrMustafio I read recently that when the company was going out of business Adult Swim executives made the choice to run that ad over a dozen times in a single night because they liked the singing creatures so much
wasn't our fault; the company was horrendously mismanaged
The last name "Fogle" is most likely derived from the German word "Vogel", which means bird. "Jemanden Vögeln" or "to bird someone" is an actual euphemism referring to intercourse, so you using his name in that way is even funnier.
I wonder if that's where he got the thumbnail from
normative determinism does it again
Your pfp is ironic
Diddy Party's, sponsored by subway.
Diddy Brand Baby Oil: For the Nasty You Want and That Little Kid Doesn't
Five dollar freak longs!
Can't believe Typhlosion was on the guest list
And catered too
We shouldn't joke about those freak offs tbf they make me sick the catering for those party's are awful!
As a kid, we used to have a joke: "Why is Jared always smiling? Cuz Subway stuffs 30yr old meat into 10yr old buns."
That was back in like 2002; we knew back then - instinctually.
I remember the same joke about Michael Jackson and big macs
"raised as a practicing Jew"
Hahahaha golden!!!!
Could have been a Muhammedin too
Didn't even need to check early life on this one, so many signs
@@prestonyannotti7661 🤓🤓
Every single time.
@@janmichel2670 _No, Neo. I'm telling you when you're ready, you don't need to check Wikipedia_
I live near Zionsville Indiana, and yes, it’s exactly how you would think it is
Full of zionist jews?
I'm a Hoosier and actually don't get this. I always thought Zville, Carmel, Avon and those areas were dece. I'd live a million lives there before one life in Speedway.
The ADL loves Jared.
He got a lot of things in common with Leo Frank aftet all..
@@ChaosSwissroIl And Jeff E
@@ChaosSwissroIl no it doesnt. Why do you make things up?
@@PrimetimeXSHUT IT DOWN
@@FlatBroke612 im telling the truth
I actually lost 120 lbs on the subway diet
Never fiddled no kids tho
Fogled is the verb to use in this context.
FBI
OPEN UP
I've never tried to play a child like an instrument either
Lost out on the true experience then. Nothing like a snack after dinner that potentially ruins lives.
So selfish and egocentric, these people.
Don't believe you.
The audacity to look us dead in the eyes while saying "eat fresh" knowing damn well what you're insinuating. Love you Dankula.
He is the most dangerously criminal in Britain for a reason 😂😂😂
That supersize me guy might be worth doing a video on, he turned out to be a fraud, most of the damage to his body he got from what he claimed he was eating was actually from his seriously bad alcohol habit
Yep, fraud and narcissist whose multiple addictions eventually killed him
He is not around to retort
@@swskating3865 and?
Found the McDonald's shill.
@@swskating3865 Wait, he is pining for the fjords now? EDIT: Huh, he is. I somehow missed that.
"Raised as a practicing Jew" in the business we call this, foreshadowing.
In the noticing industry?
@@viciousKev ever read the talmud?
3 and 9. Nuff said.
I don't get it
@@viciousKev what?
@@iceman5117 dont you know we can see all the weak bait comments you make on this channel
Dankula was so disgusted that he wouldn't even acknowledge the man's name in the title 😂
Every time someone mentions a Foundation I automatically assume it's a Fogling type of foundation.
I assume it's SCP.
"God forbid you give me an extra sweaty slice of ham! I could make a better sub out of two moldy socks and a pop tart!!"
*- Bill Burr on Subway* 😂
Subway never fully recovered from this and likely never will. One of the biggest PR disasters in marketing history.
I haven't gone back since this happened. I kinda liked the sweet onion chicken teriyaki. But only when it was 5$. I won't pay 14$ for that same garbage
It's not like they knew.
@@nupraptorthementalist3306I have a feeling they absolutely knew, but tried to keep it under wraps.
@@nupraptorthementalist3306 sarcastic?
@@nupraptorthementalist3306Subway was warned about Fogle's sick behavior in 2011 and ignored it. Only after charges were filed, their initial response on social media was " "We no longer have a relationship with Jared and have no further comment." They also didn't remove Fogle's likeness and name from advertising until after charges were filed, even though they were aware of the ongoing investigation. It wasn't what they knew, it was the response after they found out that was considered a major PR disaster.
"My name is Jared and I'm still lookin' gooood" Thank you South Park for this song popping into my head every time I see a Subway.
The "lots of walking" part of his diet came from the fact that he originally went to the subway very near to his house (as mentioned in the video) to creep on a girl that worked there. She got so creeped out that she transferred to a subway very far away, and Jared then walked all the way there just to continue creeping on her, contributing to his weight loss.
THANK YOU. Not only did he not mention it (which would've been some good foreshadowing too), I had to scroll WAY too far to find this. Cheers!
Creeping is a full body workout.
There is a comic where Jared met the Justice League. Thankfully he wasn’t anywhere near the teen titans…
Oh shit, damn
Thank god
Superman knew since he looked uncomfortable shaking his hand
@@larrychilders6599 I heard about that
@@larrychilders6599 Unlike the Justice Leagues team ups with the Colonel...
that 4:15 zoom is only half a second, yet speaks volumes
Didn't even have to look at the early life section
He's noticing hard and I'm here for it!
What does it say to you?
Is there anything to actually be said there or is it just antisemitism?
@@dirtydan9785 Just *funny* antisemitism
He's getting that '$5 Footlong' for free, now.. 😖
He goes heavy on the mayo these days
They recently had a sale, 5$ sandwiches! Maybe trying to rekindle the 5 dollar footlong days. but they weren't selling footlongs. Only 6" subs.
You only get a six incher for a fiver in the UK.
@@TreVader1378 do they call it a "6 inch" ? Even tho they use metric system? I assume most people know what one foot looks like even in metric system countries.
@@col.cottonhill6655 yeah they do, we use both for some reason, same with temperature.
“Raised as a practicing” what now?
Jews rock!
Lol
@@7275vrt the cradle?
We love Israel.
Jared Fogle visited my elementary school back in the early 2000’s. He was really weird but also really friendly which all makes sense now lol
Thou who shall not be named, simply known as “the subway guy” 😂
If you speak his name, Subway corporate will show up and delete your account!
I don't know if it's same in other countries, but in Ireland, Subway bread has so much sugar and fat that it's legally considered to be cake. Healthy choices👍
It’s crazy because it doesn’t even taste like it’s so high in sugar
Yep, we even charge Vat on it because bread isn't a luxury but cake is 😂
@@CailinRuaAnChead gas isn’t it mate
I think that’s a Europe wide phenomenon
In the US (and possibly elsewhere) they were using azodicarbonamide, the 'yoga mat' chemical in their bread.
4:13 I spit my cocktail all over my desk. Funniest thing I've seen in months
22:19 I laughed for a minute straight. I shouldn't have, since... it's rude to laugh at people's names. Still though, the Universe seems to have a funny sense of humour sometimes.
Such a simple, but effective edit XD
B-b-b-based!
It must be nice being so easily amused.
Despite making up only 2% of the population...
1/10th that amount...
control 98% of all media
He was a practicing WHAT? His house located WHERE?
Every. Single. Time
I’m starting to see a pattern here
@@DeeDee-bm9hr makes you wonder what was in those tunnels in New York. 🤔
@@DeeDee-bm9hrYou're not supposed to notice things. Just passover it.
But not when it's the vatican, right Cletus?
@@emilyadams3228 but not when it's in your trailer park, right, Cletus?
I almost went to Subway for lunch, Dank is saving lives.
19:43 I'm surprised he wasn't hired to be the spokesman for Snickers. 'You're not yourself when you're hungry'.
He can still be their spokesman in prison.
"Not going anywhere for awhile? Grab a Snickers."
The Mad Lad who likes Little Lads
I get the feeling he didn't title this a Mad Lad for that reason
The only thing mad about this monster is how fast he tries to get hawk thua from little ones .
69th like 😂
Most shocking Israel never helped this poor jew clearly dealing with media antisemitism 😢
That's because his family is named after an animal and not a precious metal.
I had no idea this guy was of the tiny hat variety, but not surprised, tho.
@@Baron_Wurstwhat kind of an animal is a Shapiro?
One of the worlds largest sanctuaries for MAPs.
@@Louzahsol A mouse
As a German speaker I was very impressed with the linguistic conjunction of Vogel for a bird and fogel being slang for the marital act.....
Whenever someone brings up Fogle, my brain immediately starts playing the boss music from The Fractured But Whole
"His name is Jared and he's still lookin' good!"
Jared the foot long lover by rucka rucka ali.
Raised as a practicing JEW
heavy breath
O y ve y sh ut it down
Every single time goyim
It's all so tiresome
“Every single time”
*hand rubbing intensifies*
Going to get a cease and desist from Subway lol. They have tried so hard to bury this for years now.
no they didn't, all they did was cut ties with Jared and stop running the ads.
not really
You can't bury a story this large, at least not with Subway money you'd need like Oil tycoon money for that
Do you have evidence they send cease and desist letters to people who talk about it? Because I'm sure their legal team is smart enough to know that'd just make people talk about it more.
@@ArthurB26 No but what has it been like 3 decades now? Lol
"Hey kids, spell tuna sub backwards, cause that's what I'mma do on yo face." -Jared Fogle meme
Nice
I'd probably lose a lot of weight after that because I wouldn't want to eat...
*Old Sparky, The Electric Chair* "Hey, Jared.. Get the fuck in! You're going for a ride! You have the Fast Pass to Lucifer.."
Have it your way!
NOT LIKE THAT.
Subway is now regretting letting Happy Gilmore go.
😂
Oh I’m noticing! Show me the early life…unhh im noticing…Ahhhhg I noticed!
AAAIIIEEE-!
🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎
Thank you for "Not getting into it."
I did that deep dive on these... (not people... what are they?)
My soul can only take so much of that.
Probably can't regardless because UA-cam would shoot it down. But yeah, the extra details are not necessary. You can take a good guess to the nasty shit he was doing in his spare time...
Sandbags
They are called sandbags
@@DRAGONFLAIR2008 I'm a Sailor. We don't dive into sandbags. Thanks Soldier!
@@frug5629 I did it once, and I can't do it again.
The tiny pause at 'practicing jew' has destroyed me
He just wanted everybody to have aides.
especially children.
Yeah give the man a break. He would have given his aides to children for free... such a misunderstood guy ;(
Got that Southpark reference!😂
@@arvintyree1109 yeah we all did congrats
4:00 Video Starts
I can normally tell from the t-shirt switch haha
The “eat fresh” line made me groan out loud
of course small hat
15:58
I know this is probably unbelievable but Zionsville is actually as J-ish as it sounds.
I live there - on the edge of the Whitestown/Zionsville border - tons of great people, but there's TONS of old money here, too.
(I don't wear a small hat fyi)
@@DDadams0 im Jewish. Whats wrong with Zionsville? I imagined it was just another town like East Palestine where the name had very little relation to the people living there.
@@PrimetimeXthe J's are always a problem.
12:35 "Cavernous caca catchers" is not a phrase that would have come to my mind when describing pants.
*EARLY LIFE MAFIA*
“S-ranked supplementarian and sapient thumb, Ryback”
I almost barfed from laughter.
Also, a wearer of diminutive hats.
It really is just about Every Single Time.
It's only the famous ones every single time because all the famous people are hired by the people who own the media companies. If you just look up the inmate population in your local state, you'll see it's a very diverse group.
I'm sure the Talmud has nothing to do with that.
@@mervunit Very diverse group of blacks.
@@mervunit Like the other comment after you mentioned, they do have a book. And their book sorta... well, has a lot of a leeway on this subject. It's actually kinda breathtaking.
No one else takes it to this level.
@@Magic-gt4pl This is insane. Youre accusing an entire people of being pdfiles. Its NOT "every single time". The Catholic church? Public schools? P Diddy, Kevin Spacey, all of their associates?
Stop pushing hatred against Jewish people.
The jewddler…
Cool it with the Anti-Subway Remarks
Broke: drenching you're food in ranch
Bespoke: eating deep fried ranch balls at the State Fair
if you're old enough to remember, that dude was genuinely loved by America as the face of a brand. He and Al Roker were like the interracial buddy duo for all the "good time feels" sort of stuff, and both had weight loss stories. The initial outcome of the truth coming out was insane and everyone and everywhere was talking about it(to this day).
Every time. Every time you do that dramatic pause and stare at the screen. It cracks me up.
Make woodchippers great again.
What's funnier is that Jared's diet was so calorie-thin that subway couldn't legally advocate for the diet itself and slowly phased Jared out in favor of the foot long campaign
So sad he got arrested, he would’ve made an excellent politician
DemocRAT for sure.
He would make an excellent Muslim.
@@darthdonkulous1810 Lmao that too.
@@darthdonkulous1810 WWMD. what would Mohammed do? Lol
@@col.cottonhill6655 Children. He would do children. (And did)
We lost Quiznos just so Subway could utilize a sicko.
You ever notice how there's a much higher rate of deviancy in a certain community?
@@SomeCanine This is insane. Youre accusing an entire people of being pdfiles. Its NOT "every single time". The Catholic church? Public schools? P Diddy, Kevin Spacey, all of their associates?
Stop pushing hatred against Jewish people.
Yeah, a lotta sick fucks in the Hoosier State... That's what you meant, right?
They are the chosen and we are just chattel to be used and abused apparently.
@@SomeCanine yes amongst the Catholic Church or Muslim grooming gangs
Every. Single. Time.
Every single time what?
It's $12 footlongs now, Jared got his money's worth 😊
My father had a friend who ordered a lobster sub that ended up being over $50. He just left the store 😂
@@jonahbrown5669 all of the extra stuff you ask for have their own whole pricing section on the menu
@@jonahbrown5669
There is a lobster sub?
@@jonahbrown5669his first mistake was ordering lobster, his second was ordering lobster from subway of all places
It's $85 by me
Chimoism aside, a quit eating subway years ago. Proces went up, quality dived. The veggies are always wilted and dry, and all sandwiches taste the same.
Jared lost weight to chase kids faster
Hehe
If Jared had just lasted a few more years, he would've been protected as part of the LGBTIAHFBRIXNCN2+.
"Love knows no age"
Jared: damn, I could have use that one.
You missed the M for MAPs. Minor attracted persons. 😨
Yeah, he missed out on the neo-marxist movement, unfortunately the rest of us didn't.
“Jared ended his Subway career the same way he started it… by trying to get into smaller pants.”
You need to create a spinoff series called "Absolute Bell Ends"
Fun fact Fogel comes from German Vogel (plural Vögel and both pronounced V like F) meaning bird. The verb form is vögeln and this literal "birding" means.... to fuck. So yes, he did vögel kids
“There are Germans running around with the last name Fucker”
That’s some cursed knowledge
Haha, the "fuck turkey" scene got me good. Thanks Count Dankula for showing the armenian flag when you said that.
LMAO at the Armenian flag @6:06
Nice touch. I like turkey, Turkey not so much.
4:15
Sometimes saying nothing says the most.
I don't get the joke. Can you explain?
Nickelodeon probably has a spot for him
Of course the PDF lived in such a named village, lmao
"Oy vey, the goyim know! Shut it down!"
@@ShrexyGuy signs missiles romantically.
@@ShrexyGuy says the guy who praised Fleece Johnson "the booty warrior", accusing the entire Jewish people of malicious intent.
From Steven Seagal to Mr. Fogel. I love that you cover these weirdos, keep it up
He still eats a 6in for lunch, and a foot long for dinner tho
Extra mayo.
If the dude is as bad as that, there should be NO RELEASE from prison. There probably needs to be new roomate arrangements made as well.
4:15 Well, well, well.
Everytime
Oy vey
@@jkee9760Every time what? I don't get it
4:13 cracked me up with the quick zoom in lol
I don't get it
Dank saying ive been good for a while, means nobody is home to cook for him so its just pot noodles for tea.
I'm just glad Jerad is still doing what he loves. Gobbling foot longs.
"For legal reasons, I cannot condone this behavior ". Cut to closeup. Yeah, we get you Dank. We completely get you. 🤘🤘
>raised as a practicing Jew
That explains more than any of the dozens of hours-long documentaries out there ever have.
Jared cuts ties with his foundation
Gets raided and arrested
Subway cuts ties with Jared
Still waiting on Subway getting raided for obviously turning 'evidence' into their turkey...
Every single time
😂 "like a cryptid"