Microbes & Me
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- Опубліковано 20 тра 2022
- This is a letter to each one of you who feels lost in life. I’ll tell the story of me, James, which is a story of confession, passion and hope-with a hurting, clinically depressed protagonist, and a plot twist of him finding happiness unexpectedly in a tiny drop of water.
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This is a long text but I appreciate anyone who is willing to read it to learn more about me! I want to say thank you to the @ontheedge team for helping me to tell my story by choosing me as one of their favorite content creators!
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So… My life story… I grew up such a curious kid, bamboozled by every living thing around me. I followed bugs, gazed at stars through my window and searched for fossils everywhere. My grandma loves to tell about the time I was 5 years old, and a chicken pooped in front of us. The curious 5-year-old me picked up a stick and poked at the poop for a good half hour. My grandma says, “You were so interested in the dropping, you wanted to see what was in it!” 😂 She also adds, “I knew you were going to be someone like this when you grew up.” 😂 Not sure if she meant that as a good thing, and although she still doesn’t quite understand what I do, I think she is proud of me. I don’t remember much from my first chicken poop experiment, but I do remember being obsessively curious about all animals. I wanted to live amongst them in Africa, and write books about them. I didn’t think of writing as a “real job” but also I didn’t think of Africa as a continent with many countries and borders. Childhood perspective tells so much about the society one grows up in. How naïve to think that you need to do hard labor to earn good money, yet to also imagine no invisible borders between the people of a continent.
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As a teen, I couldn’t stay just a curious kid. These years were the hardest. My depression was a result of all the domestic abuse I suffered for years. To the point that, back then, I never imagined passing 30. I thought I’d have kicked the bucket by the time, bought the farm, gone to the glue factory! Worst of all, I believed I would cause it. I never felt safe anywhere, never felt like I belonged. I was beaten and insulted every day for so long. Learning became an escape and helped me deal with very hard things, and I was good at dealing with stuff. Nature provided me with so many wondrous things that I could lose myself in. When I say nature, I think of even rocks and stars because they were and still are a part of my bubble. I grew up before the internet era, or at least before it was available in my home. But even with all this curiosity, I was shut in my room. I always locked my door, slept with knives under my bed. Nothing changed much when I grew older, I still searched for my place, somewhere where I felt accepted and safe. My search took me to many places; politics, spirituality, but in the end I was a 20-something-year-old who was struggling with debilitating social anxiety. I couldn’t even go to see a movie without feeling like fainting.
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I then moved to Italy as a student, I couldn’t even imagine talking to people, let alone partying like every other student. Then I started drinking to help it, and it seemed to make it all fine. Now everyone knew who I was: the heart of the parties, so cheerful and happy-but no one knew I cried myself to sleep every night or more like every morning.
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In Italy I met a Polish girl and moved with her to Warsaw. I stopped drinking. My relationship started to go bad. And Poland was the opposite of Italy. It was hard to make friends regardless, but living here made it even harder. I was sad, poor and in a toxic relationship. I didn’t know what to do. But then I met my saviors in a lab course: the microbes! I would have never imagined seeing such a diversity through a microscope in a single drop of wastewater. My eyes were opened to so many things living, buzzing around! I would never have imagined that something invisible could be so beautifully ornamented. It was like my childhood “Africa” had been condensed into a single droplet. I was madly captivated. Everything I had ever been interested in had been in that water: I just didn’t know it. I began to crave learning about everything again. In the past what I usually did with new things was to get into something and consume everything about it in a couple of weeks-then move on to something else. But this field was so wild and unexplored, I started reading everything I could find! The more I learned the more ignorant I felt! I had never experienced that feeling before! I couldn’t stand meeting microbes only for two hours per week in the lab, so I scraped together the money to buy the cheapest microscope online for $160. I contemplated the purchase for days before buying it because I didn’t have money to pay the rent after. But I did it anyway. I learned how to use my cheap microscope very well, and keep learning about microbes. Just after a couple of months, my new “hobby” got tested.
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Continues in the comments - Наука та технологія
(Text in the description continues here, read the description first)
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One Friday while I was collecting samples, I got a text from my girlfriend. I read the text with sample tubes in my hand: basically her text told me that she wasn’t coming home, and that our relationship was over because of my depression. She said I would never be a happy person. I had started to have panic attacks that day. It was horrible to feel helpless in a foreign country and the breakup was the last drop. For the first time in my life, I realized I needed help and that’s how I got into therapy. Boy oh boy, it changed my life. I learned that what I felt and experienced had happened to others before, and even though we are different individuals, we suffer quite similar to each other. For me, therapy was like learning a new language, I was learning to speak “feelings” and once I started to understand what they were telling me, they weren’t so hard to deal with at all! Even though we are unique individuals, we have similar patterns!
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I kept exploring and learning. Over time I realized that I was no longer trying to fit in somewhere. Seeing microbes under the microscope day and night made me understand that I was already a part of something magical: life! My conscious mind was formed by billions of unconscious cells. Somehow my neurons’ cooperative work was allowing me to think, dream and adore. But then when you think about the pond I sample often, it’s not too far-fetched to think that the pond itself is like a body with a bunch of unconscious cells living in it. And then you can expand that to think about all the living things on Earth-some more complex than others, but in essence still just single smaller units in a body we call life!
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I don’t need to try to be part of something, when I already know I am a part of everything.
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James Weiss
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Proud to be a part of the #creatorsontheedge program, sponsored by @ontheedgeconservation working with @tommustill & @evaniakeziaoofs from Gripping Films.
thank you very much for sharing this deeply personal topic with us, with the whole world.
i guess it wasn't an easy decision, but, as you frame it, since we're just cells of a bigger organism that is life, i suppose it isn't all too difficult to share some bits with your neighbouring cells
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Part of my life too and I am so lucky for that. Thank you.
Oh my, that's cruel wtf.. who says such things... And what for....
And ye it's kinda awesome to think that we are a conscious chunks of microcosmoses ourselves, the idea of cells working together every day to fight back the entropy, death and decay, rouge immortal cells(cancer), random mutations and errors, and that even our deaths are processes of different cells dying at different times even hours after our concious is gone.. it's crazy. And we are never alone... As we are colonies of "we" 🤯
And still ppl are super stupid and care, kill and destroy for stuff that don't matter at all in perspective... 🤦🏼♀️😕
Oh and read the first part I feel like I should apologize for Poland greeting you badly... 😶 on behalf of all Polish "cells" who are not toxic 😕
There are good ppl out there, now prob more visible hosting Ukrainian "cells" in their homes.. hope you don't think bad about us cause one person was fkd up ☹️
This video is beautiful. You are beautiful. Your heart and love and passion and artistry show through everything you do. Always evolving, always voyaging, always being so brave. For a person who studies the microscopic things, you sure leave a MACRO impact on this world and for people in it. ♥️
Continue writing that story and enjoy all the twists and turns of its plot. Inspiration and hope can arise from the least likely and most mundane of sources: be it drops on a slide or drops on our cheek. The magic of the world has never been hidden from any one of us, it is just waiting to be noticed. The impact you’ve made through your passion and curiosity may not at first be as easy to see as the bright stars across the night sky, but with a little light and a little focus you can see the interactions beneath the side of our lives: us viewers whose own imaginations and curiosities are sparked by your source energy. Thank you for giving us the gift of perspective to see what life has been trying to show for so long.
You've certainly added a lot to my enjoyment with your videos. I studied microbiology in school decades ago, but then a career, and life made me busy. I'm now a few years from retirement and you've inspired me to look at the small world again.
Yes i agree with jams, that looking in the mirror for far to long can sometimes leave you feeling bewildered and lost for words : )
CONGRATULATIONS JAMES!!!! I love your microscopy story and also your videos. :)
I'm at ease with my life since you showed me life at the small scale :D Depression is at bay now, for me, thank you. I hope you have good moments today.
Honestly an amazing story, we love you Jam
Thanks for sharing your story. Those videos are mesmerizing, may i ask you what are the soundtracks used? they really fit the images
Utterly beautiful.
Thank you. Watching this video gave me back a little hope.
私たちはとても美しい世界に住んでいるんだなと気付かせてくれる動画です😺🌎
神秘はすぐそこにあるのですね🌠🌅
音楽もすごく好きです！
Thank you for sharing your story and your passion for a universe most of us don't have a chance to see with our own eyes.
I've felt like you describe for most of my many years on this planet, and appreciate your inspiration. ❤️ ☮️
Beautiful story of hope and new beginnings, Jam. I'm suffer from anxiety and bipolar disorder and nature (esp. the sea) is the biggest part of my health regimen. Thank you for sharing with us your love and knowledge of the wonderful world of microbes.
Thank you for your efforts to film and share what you observe. When I was 10 my father gave me his microscope, I still have it. And I spent my summer getting water out of the drainage ditches and creek that ran through our property. Lots of algae, an occasional "creature" but still a great learning experience. Your films and the accompanying descriptions are among the things that show the best use of the internet. To share knowledge and understanding to any who wants to learn. Charles
A world without and a world within... and another world within that one.
I loved this so much! Thank you!
Love the music, it went with the video so beautifully.
This video is MATHEMATICAL!!!
Very touching story. I'm glad you've found yourself and are able to share what you love with the world.
Thank you so much for your story. You opened my eyes.
I understand that you probably don't read comments any more, there are far too many and you are a busy guy but I just want to put this out there. I come from a very similar background, childhood memories are not a fun time to think about or talk about either. I got into some I'll advised situations when I managed to get away from home, but like yourself I escaped into knowledge, learning everything and anything that caught my attention. (people who know me, call me the human Google, although I honestly don't think I know that much really)
I also have found a kind of peace in the microscopic, it is endlessly fascinating and every drop of water is a whole new world, there is the familiar but amongst the rotifers and vorticella are strange wonders just waiting to be found in some obscure text from the 1800s
I just want to say thank you for being so brave.
Lol the cat was kinda unexpected 😂
And what a pose ❤️😂
This was an amazing mix of art and science, thank you for this, please continue your studies!
Exactly same thoughts i had when i sat with a microscope in school days 😊 its amazing and how Shiv Baba decides the life, the prana of billions of beings ! What are you, you filled with ego ? Nothing in this vast universe.
Love everything about this video! ♥️♥️♥️ So much play with words and imagery, one with an iris being one of my favorites....
I really appreciate you, sharing this universe and yourself with us... 😊
Perfect music selection😌
You have good taste👌
Beautiful!
Thanks for sharing your insights and your journey .
I love this presentation!
Like history, perspectives repeat themselves
Big D depression. Meds and therapy worked. So did finding a passion. We all have to find a path somehow.
Try to light sample from above. For my part, I use a flashlight or an LED ring
Hey James, what a story!
I have a question: what do you mean by "I learned to speak feelings"?
I was also considering into going to therapy, but first I wanted to understand what is about and if it's worth it.
An elderly lady once told me a wise tale, that by planting a bowl of noodles on top of your head for at least 3 minutes a day will greatly decrease any anxiety attacks you may have.
What is this microscope name? I want to buy it. And how you get such good colors??
You should submit this to a film festival. It might need a few tweaks and edits (I'm not an expert tho) but you should consider doing that
HOW BOUT DAT!
What kind of microscope do you use to see microbes?
@@gb7168 yes, he also prepares the footage for “Journey to the Microcosmos” but he crowdfunded some of the cost for his microscope and paid the rest!
This is one of my favorite videos :D Sorry you had a bad experience in poland, maybe she was just some fucking szalona kurwa , i do see them around here. If you come visit Krakow LMK, ill show you my scope/camera setup, and homemade DMT, and my kitty kat, uhhh... my favorite burger place etc.
Thats what singularity, the first pillar of islam is: that god is the apparent and the hidden, allah is Being itself, everything else is part of that one being
Those water bears, they fornicate
SPORE IN REAL LIFE
Which microscope do you have now?
Hello there!, it's a MAGNIFICENT VIDEO!😍😍😍, always keep flowing and growing.
A loads of ❤️ love, 🙏 regards and support from Sikkim India. visit us if possible...please
Lol the cat was kinda unexpected 😂
And what a pose ❤️😂