Life is hard. Getting off a 20-year heroin addiction that's really hard. Life is so much easier now 2 years clean. Remember you're going to have to push yourself beyond anything you thought you could ever do. And then keep growing and learning while also loving yourself and others. God bless you
I doubt anyone will read this entire diatribe, but this video and music has transported me back to a moment in my life, an amazing moment, and for nothing else, I have to commit this event to some kind of written form. Forgive me for the length. I swear, there is a point. Phoenix, AZ. 1996. Just moved there with a few friends from NY. 22 year old know it alls, about to take the world by storm. We figured Phoenix was perfect driving distance from the places we would need to be close to to break into films and acting. We were ready for anything. Except life. I was there for maybe two months and began to often drive aimlessly. Mostly at night, as my Honda Civic had no AC. The days were brutal, driving to auditions and changing into different clothing was a nightmare. I struggled with the reality of how it was possible that I lived with my two best friends in the world and yet had never felt more alone in my life. Almost every night, as soon as the sun started to set, I was in my car and gone. Windows down, sand blowing all over me, driving to Moby and William Orbit cds, driving south on what at the time was known by the not-so-PC name of Squaw Peak Parkway, which at the time had not been completed to connect with the 101 north of the city. Sometimes I would drive until dawn, questioning my entire existence. How did I leave my family? Why did I leave an amazing girlfriend, good friends, a chance at a future on the northeast theater circuit, for this? About 6 months in, working at a dead end job, already burnt out, I became very good friends with a girl who also worked there named Robyn. We became close, and one late afternoon we happened to be leaving at the same time and I blurted out "Want to drive to Yuma?" No idea why I said didnt say Tucson or the Grand Canyon, but whatever. She instantly said yes, and as we started the drive, late afternoon gave way to dusk. Dusks in the southwest - they are so hard to describe if you havent experienced them. They are heartbreaking and stunning and hopeful and crushing, an ending and beginning all rolled into one. Somehow slow, but fade far too quickly. Like life. I pointed my car west to make our way towards Yuma. Talking that kind of talk that two people have when they know that a small step was just made, and that excitement permeates the entire atmosphere. The drive out of Phoenix - if not for the signs saying Vegas exits in this beautiful video, this could have been a carbon copy of that night. We got out of Phoenix and had to get gas. She said since I was driving she would pay for gas - she was like that. Bossy. Fair. And so, so beautiful. So I left the car and just stood in front of it, leaning against my hood and watching the dusk start to fade as the first few stars were blinking into view. She went into the gas station - yup, paying in cash, the old ways :) - then got to pumping gas into my car. I just stood there, and it was one of those moments that seers its imprint into your brain. The dusk, the wind, the sound of the gas being pumped, the hand of one of the funniest, smartest, and prettiest girls I had ever spoken to on the gas pump and the other wiping sand and sweat off of her. The weird country music playing over the tinny speaker over the gas pump. Two Mexican gentlemen sitting on folding chairs in front of the window of the station, drinking beer, empties scattered around them, and obviously sizing up Robin's "attributes." She smiled at me, knowing full well what they were doing and having not one iota of insecurity about it. By the time she put the gas pump back in, I remember - clear as day - making a decision, and not letting my own insecurities get in the way. I said to her "Look at this sky." Big sky. No buildings. Mountains silhouetted in the growing darkness. Me saying that stopped her from getting in the car, and she walked up to join me. "Wow" was all she said, and leaned against the car right next to me. No words were said, because by now it was evident where this night was going, but I was in no rush to walk away from this moment just yet. I sort of clumsily took her left hand in my right - the decision I had made - and she didnt refuse it, though I remember also didnt quite hold it completely. I thought I had blown it. But after a few seconds of "Ah, frak, I messed this up already", she moved into me and leaned her head on my shoulder. We stayed sitting on that hood for a bit. It was almost like we had hit a perfect ecstacy high and just holding each other was enough. And it was. We did talk a bit, I dont remember everything, but I do remember she said "I smell like work and sand." And I laughed and said something like "Dont forget gasoline." I thought that might move her, that idea that she smelled, but Robyn was a tomboy at heart, and stayed planted on the hood. We made small talk, and honestly we probably could have stayed there all night like that, but the two Mexicans got up and started shutting the lights off, so we had to begrudgingly get off the hood. And while I did kiss her not long after this moment, I will always regret not doing so while we sat on the hood. Sharing a first kiss in front of a Waffle House after scattering, covering, and chunking cheesy hashbrowns down our throats doesn't exactly involve a rowboat in a pond wirh Sebastion singing Kiss The Girl in the background. We drove around Yuma a bit, then sat in a Barnes and Noble parking lot and talked about what 24 year olds talk about, and then headed back. By then it was about 2 in the morning and we were exhausted. We made it to a tiny little place called Gila Bend, which waa about an hour out from Phoenix. There was a motel there with a 60s motif called the Space Age Lodge, and the night just seemed to be heading in that direction anyway, if you understand. It was barely discussed as far as staying there, we got the keys from the 97 year old woman that I think we woke up that ran the place, and we quietly went inside and spent the night. I wanted that night to never end. I never wanted the sun to come up, because there is magic in the desert at night, and that magic can create moments so perfect that you could never come close to that feeling again if you lived for 100 years. We knew that, and stayed in that motel room for an entire day, not leaving until the sun was going down the next night. We drove back to Phoenix by starlight, and when I pulled my car up to her car that was still parked in our work parking lot, not much was said, other than she agreed to follow me home. My god. The immortality of youth. We dated for almost a year. It was a good year. Then I got an opportunity to move to LA and work for a new production company. She was studying to be a teacher and the day I said I would be taking the LA job, she signed up for the Peace Corps. The rest was just tears, and promises to keep in touch, and the certainty that once again I was running away from something more than running towards a future. As we get older, the decisions we make - and whether we were wise to make them - come clearly into view. And as i grow into my 40s (yes kids, we old folks had been young once too, dammit! :)😂) I look back at that time of my life with bittersweet nostalgia. Did i make the right move leaving Robyn to come to LA? Absolutely. Should I have stayed in Phoenix with Robyn? Absolutely. That is the great paradox of life. Either way, you will wonder. But one thing I will never wonder about as far as makikg the right choice was asking my amazing friend to drive into the dusk with me, a drive in which we became lovers and even better friends. The memory of that night is one of the top 5 moments of my life, and this beautiful, ethereal music and video had brought me back to that moment, tears and all. I thank you for that. If you have read this far, you have a new fan and suscriber. You have a rare gift, and you deserve recognition.
Great life story Leon , haha i read to the end this music makes one reflect as I was 18 in 1980 and wish those days still weren’t in the rear view mirror , zero cells phones then
@@Tattoo2021the 80s was an amazing decade. It was that last gasp before that stuff you mentioned, like cell phones, social media, how technology has changed and shaped us. Even through it all, though, great music can transport you right back to those moments in life. Crazy how many memories we make when we are young. Thanks for reading my very long comment and responding!
I read it all man, i am 25 now and had a similar experiencd with a girl 3 years ago, we tried to stay toghether but it didn't work, but the memory of that forst night, the magic, the smell...oh i guess in some way we will always have a part of us who remain young and still believe that the most magic moment of our lives still has to come...probably the most magic moment will be when we will leave this world behind, taking the hand of Jesus who will take us back to home.
The space this allows for in my mind is so freeing wonderous and beautiful, I hope all who are watching this find peace and happiness in the present moment no matter what is going on it will pass things can get better for you beyond your wildest imagination. Much love
Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. - Terence McKenna
I have an affinity towards evenings and nights. Nights, more specifically. The evening feels like a buffer into the excitement that the night has. You will always be the freest at night, and you can do anything and everything you want to. People retreat, so their real selves show up. We pretend in the day, and reflect in the night.
For a couple of years I would take road trips to many different states. Road trips that were thousands of miles. This brings so much nostalgia. I had a baby recently so I won’t be able to be on the road like that anymore for a while. Bitter sweet.. I really miss this point of view 😢
My entire being longs for the innocent days of childhood again To escape the anguish of the present and change my future I yearn to be back in the arms of the woman I loved more than reality itself I want the tranquility of journeys home as a child driving under the violet canopy of evening fall as I drifted into dream filled slumber I cannot bear another second of my current life I want to go home 😪
@darv43 There's nothing to enjoy Not anymore I'm willing to risk the destruction of the entire universe to get what I want even if it ends only in oblivion
40+ years in and the only place I'd call "Home" lies beyond the void veil. The sooner I can return, the better. Unfortunately, I still have a few rather painful and exhausting years left here. That's how prisons work, obviously! 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
I don't think it will get better ive given uo hope for love cut off friendships for no reason lost my faith everything got out of a bad breakup that has made.me distant and cold shes with someone else after she promised me forever 4 months of lies and betrayal i dont see it getting better ever
link to all my music: open.spotify.com/artist/4yJrGafkJqgcNXUr8aJ9Da?si=c0qMXr5jRmerDx7J1jP6WA
I want folow a cont facebook plz name
I wish anyone who is reading this, it does get alright for you!!
likewise!
Thank You 🙏🏾
❤
❤❤❤
Dusk and dawn are the most calming parts of the day. Quiet, peaceful, Beautiful
Yes! I agree
Especially in Hawaii and Florida. God bless you
Life is hard. Getting off a 20-year heroin addiction that's really hard. Life is so much easier now 2 years clean. Remember you're going to have to push yourself beyond anything you thought you could ever do. And then keep growing and learning while also loving yourself and others. God bless you
I'm so happy to hear you're doing well now. Keep going!
Peace be with You, Radiant Soul.
Your existence is perfection.
🖤
I doubt anyone will read this entire diatribe, but this video and music has transported me back to a moment in my life, an amazing moment, and for nothing else, I have to commit this event to some kind of written form. Forgive me for the length. I swear, there is a point.
Phoenix, AZ. 1996. Just moved there with a few friends from NY. 22 year old know it alls, about to take the world by storm. We figured Phoenix was perfect driving distance from the places we would need to be close to to break into films and acting. We were ready for anything. Except life.
I was there for maybe two months and began to often drive aimlessly. Mostly at night, as my Honda Civic had no AC. The days were brutal, driving to auditions and changing into different clothing was a nightmare. I struggled with the reality of how it was possible that I lived with my two best friends in the world and yet had never felt more alone in my life.
Almost every night, as soon as the sun started to set, I was in my car and gone. Windows down, sand blowing all over me, driving to Moby and William Orbit cds, driving south on what at the time was known by the not-so-PC name of Squaw Peak Parkway, which at the time had not been completed to connect with the 101 north of the city. Sometimes I would drive until dawn, questioning my entire existence. How did I leave my family? Why did I leave an amazing girlfriend, good friends, a chance at a future on the northeast theater circuit, for this?
About 6 months in, working at a dead end job, already burnt out, I became very good friends with a girl who also worked there named Robyn. We became close, and one late afternoon we happened to be leaving at the same time and I blurted out "Want to drive to Yuma?" No idea why I said didnt say Tucson or the Grand Canyon, but whatever. She instantly said yes, and as we started the drive, late afternoon gave way to dusk. Dusks in the southwest - they are so hard to describe if you havent experienced them. They are heartbreaking and stunning and hopeful and crushing, an ending and beginning all rolled into one. Somehow slow, but fade far too quickly. Like life.
I pointed my car west to make our way towards Yuma. Talking that kind of talk that two people have when they know that a small step was just made, and that excitement permeates the entire atmosphere. The drive out of Phoenix - if not for the signs saying Vegas exits in this beautiful video, this could have been a carbon copy of that night. We got out of Phoenix and had to get gas. She said since I was driving she would pay for gas - she was like that. Bossy. Fair. And so, so beautiful. So I left the car and just stood in front of it, leaning against my hood and watching the dusk start to fade as the first few stars were blinking into view. She went into the gas station - yup, paying in cash, the old ways :) - then got to pumping gas into my car. I just stood there, and it was one of those moments that seers its imprint into your brain. The dusk, the wind, the sound of the gas being pumped, the hand of one of the funniest, smartest, and prettiest girls I had ever spoken to on the gas pump and the other wiping sand and sweat off of her. The weird country music playing over the tinny speaker over the gas pump. Two Mexican gentlemen sitting on folding chairs in front of the window of the station, drinking beer, empties scattered around them, and obviously sizing up Robin's "attributes." She smiled at me, knowing full well what they were doing and having not one iota of insecurity about it. By the time she put the gas pump back in, I remember - clear as day - making a decision, and not letting my own insecurities get in the way. I said to her "Look at this sky." Big sky. No buildings. Mountains silhouetted in the growing darkness. Me saying that stopped her from getting in the car, and she walked up to join me. "Wow" was all she said, and leaned against the car right next to me. No words were said, because by now it was evident where this night was going, but I was in no rush to walk away from this moment just yet. I sort of clumsily took her left hand in my right - the decision I had made - and she didnt refuse it, though I remember also didnt quite hold it completely. I thought I had blown it. But after a few seconds of "Ah, frak, I messed this up already", she moved into me and leaned her head on my shoulder.
We stayed sitting on that hood for a bit. It was almost like we had hit a perfect ecstacy high and just holding each other was enough. And it was. We did talk a bit, I dont remember everything, but I do remember she said "I smell like work and sand." And I laughed and said something like "Dont forget gasoline." I thought that might move her, that idea that she smelled, but Robyn was a tomboy at heart, and stayed planted on the hood. We made small talk, and honestly we probably could have stayed there all night like that, but the two Mexicans got up and started shutting the lights off, so we had to begrudgingly get off the hood. And while I did kiss her not long after this moment, I will always regret not doing so while we sat on the hood. Sharing a first kiss in front of a Waffle House after scattering, covering, and chunking cheesy hashbrowns down our throats doesn't exactly involve a rowboat in a pond wirh Sebastion singing Kiss The Girl in the background.
We drove around Yuma a bit, then sat in a Barnes and Noble parking lot and talked about what 24 year olds talk about, and then headed back. By then it was about 2 in the morning and we were exhausted. We made it to a tiny little place called Gila Bend, which waa about an hour out from Phoenix. There was a motel there with a 60s motif called the Space Age Lodge, and the night just seemed to be heading in that direction anyway, if you understand. It was barely discussed as far as staying there, we got the keys from the 97 year old woman that I think we woke up that ran the place, and we quietly went inside and spent the night.
I wanted that night to never end. I never wanted the sun to come up, because there is magic in the desert at night, and that magic can create moments so perfect that you could never come close to that feeling again if you lived for 100 years. We knew that, and stayed in that motel room for an entire day, not leaving until the sun was going down the next night. We drove back to Phoenix by starlight, and when I pulled my car up to her car that was still parked in our work parking lot, not much was said, other than she agreed to follow me home. My god. The immortality of youth.
We dated for almost a year. It was a good year. Then I got an opportunity to move to LA and work for a new production company. She was studying to be a teacher and the day I said I would be taking the LA job, she signed up for the Peace Corps. The rest was just tears, and promises to keep in touch, and the certainty that once again I was running away from something more than running towards a future.
As we get older, the decisions we make - and whether we were wise to make them - come clearly into view. And as i grow into my 40s (yes kids, we old folks had been young once too, dammit! :)😂) I look back at that time of my life with bittersweet nostalgia. Did i make the right move leaving Robyn to come to LA? Absolutely. Should I have stayed in Phoenix with Robyn? Absolutely. That is the great paradox of life. Either way, you will wonder.
But one thing I will never wonder about as far as makikg the right choice was asking my amazing friend to drive into the dusk with me, a drive in which we became lovers and even better friends. The memory of that night is one of the top 5 moments of my life, and this beautiful, ethereal music and video had brought me back to that moment, tears and all. I thank you for that. If you have read this far, you have a new fan and suscriber. You have a rare gift, and you deserve recognition.
Great life story Leon , haha i read to the end this music makes one reflect as I was 18 in 1980 and wish those days still weren’t in the rear view mirror , zero cells phones then
Wow ❤
@@Tattoo2021the 80s was an amazing decade. It was that last gasp before that stuff you mentioned, like cell phones, social media, how technology has changed and shaped us. Even through it all, though, great music can transport you right back to those moments in life. Crazy how many memories we make when we are young. Thanks for reading my very long comment and responding!
Awesome! I typically never read long comments but you were able to grasp my attention and I’m glad I stayed till the end. Hope life is smiling on you…
I read it all man, i am 25 now and had a similar experiencd with a girl 3 years ago, we tried to stay toghether but it didn't work, but the memory of that forst night, the magic, the smell...oh i guess in some way we will always have a part of us who remain young and still believe that the most magic moment of our lives still has to come...probably the most magic moment will be when we will leave this world behind, taking the hand of Jesus who will take us back to home.
Living life is so exhausting even sleep doesn't help from this tiredness
Боже это шедевр!!! Я уже засыпаю под эту музыку 10 раз!
my mind needs it every day
💜💜
This looks so peaceful. Like the perfect world. A world in order.
💜
As long as I know I'm Right with God then EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT ❤❤❤
🖤🖤
Sooo beautiful, I can disconnect from the world and be able to be closer to my soul
Thank you!🖤
The space this allows for in my mind is so freeing wonderous and beautiful, I hope all who are watching this find peace and happiness in the present moment no matter what is going on it will pass things can get better for you beyond your wildest imagination. Much love
Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. - Terence McKenna
love it!
🙏🏾✨🌟
I have an affinity towards evenings and nights. Nights, more specifically. The evening feels like a buffer into the excitement that the night has. You will always be the freest at night, and you can do anything and everything you want to. People retreat, so their real selves show up. We pretend in the day, and reflect in the night.
love this perspective!
For a couple of years I would take road trips to many different states. Road trips that were thousands of miles. This brings so much nostalgia. I had a baby recently so I won’t be able to be on the road like that anymore for a while. Bitter sweet.. I really miss this point of view 😢
Aww I’m sorry, grats though! :) blessings on you
"GOD BLESS YOU ALL"!!🎉❤👍👍 ENDEAVORS 😊
🖤
Aww Vegas!!! I know this freeway hehe
Haha yes!
Excellent visual!!!!!!
Thank you!
Blessings for all ❤
💜
Thank you very much for this video.
thank YOU for enjoying :)
My entire being longs for the innocent days of childhood again
To escape the anguish of the present and change my future
I yearn to be back in the arms of the woman I loved more than reality itself
I want the tranquility of journeys home as a child driving under the violet canopy of evening fall as I drifted into dream filled slumber
I cannot bear another second of my current life
I want to go home 😪
very expansive tune
thank you!
The most amazing Music and Video ever... thank you! 💙💜🩷❤
Please tell me where this was filmed
And what is the name of this song?
thank you! i'm so glad you enjoy :)
song name: mylesxiety - lonely walk
location: las vegas, nevada
@@mylesxietythank you !
@@pb.pb.pb.pb. you're welcome!
Dibrugarh my hometown ❤ Our bypass road in the evening
💜
life just isn't the same.
🥲
😌😌😌
I love colorado ❤ it's my home
💙💜
Love it! New Sub!
Welcome aboard! 🙏
Nice.
thank you!
Ohh my
💜💜
Beautiful, but why is it not getting any darker as the video progresses?
the drive was filmed 15 min worth so it's not a full timelapse of the sunset haha.
@@mylesxiety Gotcha. Thx.
can anyone tell me if this is real? so beautiful
it's real (: but if you are referring to the colors it's color graded.
but thank you!
@@mylesxiety i see! would love to see the original footage but well done!! and the music just fits perfect :)
Trainspotting 2
😔😣
🥲
What a beautiful prison we live in
🥲
I want out
I don't care about dying to escape
I just want to be free
@SamuelBlack84 once you're out, there's no coming back.
Might as well try and enjoy it
@darv43 There's nothing to enjoy
Not anymore
I'm willing to risk the destruction of the entire universe to get what I want even if it ends only in oblivion
@SamuelBlack84 if it ends in oblivion, unless oblivion is what you want, you still won't have what you want
Sweetheart, you have commercials throughout this. The content is great, but how do I rid of the commercials?
Prove it.
40+ years in and the only place I'd call "Home" lies beyond the void veil. The sooner I can return, the better. Unfortunately, I still have a few rather painful and exhausting years left here. That's how prisons work, obviously!
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
💙
"not"
I don't think it will get better ive given uo hope for love cut off friendships for no reason lost my faith everything got out of a bad breakup that has made.me distant and cold shes with someone else after she promised me forever 4 months of lies and betrayal i dont see it getting better ever
Policía muy difícil ver papel después vamos person