Congratulations Podcast w/ Chris D'Elia | EP98 - One Anus-Grab Away

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024
  • It's the 98th episode, getting closer! On today's show, Chris talks about how he thinks a bigender robot should host the Oscars. Also discussed: TED Radio Hour, Derren Brown, Nimesh Patel, and how hard it is to do a show with no Internet (which is what we did today).
    Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Twitter and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
    For the true babies:
    Merchandise: store.chrisdel...
    Instagram: / chrisdelia
    Twitter: / chrisdelia
    Facebook: / chrisdeliaofficial
    UA-cam Subscribe: bit.ly/2rA0sI0

КОМЕНТАРІ • 464

  • @isaiahcastillo5186
    @isaiahcastillo5186 6 років тому +153

    I like how i say it dooooeeesssnttt maaakkeee a Deeeennntttt when I buy shit , but it makes a dent ....

    • @grifterofeas3
      @grifterofeas3 6 років тому +13

      I look at the "it doesn't make a dent" idea as something beyond financial concerns. To me, it's more about not letting "haters" or anyone else bring you down. If someone's talking shit - it shouldn't make a dent, you're better than that. Finance is just once way to interpret to actual "dent" that's being made.

    • @isaiahcastillo5186
      @isaiahcastillo5186 6 років тому +6

      @@grifterofeas3 I never thought about it like that . You have changed my life...

    • @atho_s
      @atho_s 6 років тому +1

      isaiah castillo I bought two doesn’t make a dent shirts and it made a painful dent.

    • @Ironman829
      @Ironman829 6 років тому +3

      Ya'cuda That's why

    • @drunkwritersroom1695
      @drunkwritersroom1695 6 років тому

      Not even

  • @junedreamer
    @junedreamer 6 років тому +183

    “We are all one anus grab away from our brains breaking” finally something i can submit as my senior quote

  • @caposwat
    @caposwat 6 років тому +214

    Episode 100 should be a Juan Fyre reveal

    • @ericbecerra5893
      @ericbecerra5893 6 років тому +11

      JCVD or no one

    • @ash3021
      @ash3021 6 років тому +4

      So this story fits in trust me. I was eight in the year of '04 and was in Fiji for my uncle's wedding. I had my gameboy with Pokemon blue and yellow. so my batteries died and I'm bored outside and I see a wild bulbasaur or a big frog whatever. so I throw a pokeball at it and by pokeball I mean a brick. so there's a lot of blood and it's spasming or something. i wanted it to stop so I took the brick and went Fargo on it and put the corpse behind the wheel of a car to stage an accident I guess. I've held this inside for many years. Now I feel this frogs spirit is finally free and I finally feel absolved. I hope this story helps you.

    • @caposwat
      @caposwat 6 років тому

      Joe Johnson huh?

    • @2sjbrewer
      @2sjbrewer 6 років тому

      if youre a true baby youd know

    • @caposwat
      @caposwat 6 років тому

      Samantha Brewer you right. I’m a failure. I’m disinviting myself from the log cabin.

  • @smance_
    @smance_ 6 років тому +58

    I love how he transitions into ads, “I’m one anus grab away from my brain breaking”....................”Thank you MeUndies for sponsoring this podcast”

  • @theogbunn7672
    @theogbunn7672 5 років тому +19

    Crip Delinga is my favorite comedian. Like when he says "ITTTT DIDDNNNTTT MAKEEE AAA DDDIIIINNNGGG".
    Hilarious

  • @happinessrunns
    @happinessrunns 6 років тому +34

    That ted talk guy impression is the FUNNIEST shit i've heard in a LONG time

    • @jcreash1
      @jcreash1 5 років тому

      A mix of tucker carlson and fred armisen

    • @Noname-lk2ol
      @Noname-lk2ol 5 років тому

      FUCK ALL OF U

  • @EndeavorLSMedia
    @EndeavorLSMedia 6 років тому +64

    Juan Fyre is like Wilson from Home Improvement...I wanna know what he looks like...but I kinda don't.

  • @maxpbeaumont
    @maxpbeaumont 6 років тому +5

    Dude, appreciate you breaking down the TED Radio thing for me. Wasn't able to articulate why it bothered me until... now?

  • @notyourdad
    @notyourdad 6 років тому +53

    This is by far my favorite 98th episode of the podcast ever.

  • @MrBassab
    @MrBassab 6 років тому +51

    It makes me laugh whenever you read the ads in the beginning, because you can’t diss it, but we all know you wanna lol.

    • @thedude8254
      @thedude8254 6 років тому +8

      MrBassab bill burr does, he can’t just read and get paid lol he has to talk shit

  • @nutellanebula
    @nutellanebula 4 роки тому +1

    Glad you didn't stop, Chris. You are literally changing my life for the better. Inspiration.

  • @nv3831
    @nv3831 6 років тому +38

    IS IT THOOOOOOOOOOO

  • @tonymarcella13
    @tonymarcella13 6 років тому +77

    Us Brits are easy to hypnotize cos we're all like Michael Caine and say "ok I'll do it!"

    • @Laprintanddesign
      @Laprintanddesign 6 років тому

      Tony Marcella 😂 😂

    • @deni6943
      @deni6943 6 років тому +5

      do you know when everyones like " I just read that in his voice LOL OMG XD" I just did exactly _not_ that

    • @Unz360
      @Unz360 6 років тому +3

      I'll deww it

    • @MaubenOrigin
      @MaubenOrigin 6 років тому

      Tony Marcella 😂😂

    • @Yungtacosss
      @Yungtacosss 6 років тому

      I believe it

  • @fullmetalheel
    @fullmetalheel 6 років тому +31

    Anytime you bring up a normal job you default to bank teller lol

    • @gina4808
      @gina4808 6 років тому +1

      Vega Valentine so true

    • @cdsackett
      @cdsackett 6 років тому

      That's what we all do

    • @awalldance
      @awalldance 6 років тому +5

      Or crate and barrel

  • @MaubenOrigin
    @MaubenOrigin 6 років тому +6

    I’m convinced Juan fyre is just an automated tape recorder next to a Spalding ball that Chris talks too

  • @Supabasic13
    @Supabasic13 6 років тому +181

    Are you still gonna have a kkk Starbucks in your new house?

  • @dwade22100
    @dwade22100 6 років тому +9

    THANKS FOR ANOTHER GREAT EPISODE CHRIS “I DON’T HAVE A NICKNAME BECAUSE WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET” D’ELIA!

  • @SWhitehouse4675
    @SWhitehouse4675 6 років тому +1

    This was my favourite Podcast in a long time. Should go internet free for more podcasts !!

  • @suttonlea8366
    @suttonlea8366 6 років тому +11

    Man I really love Chris Delilah

  • @michaelchimenti2847
    @michaelchimenti2847 6 років тому +48

    Episode 100- Ten Minute Podcast Reunion

  • @RivenRivenRivenRiven
    @RivenRivenRivenRiven 6 років тому

    i know its a busy time of year but you still manged to bless us with this content. thank you chris

  • @smileypie22000
    @smileypie22000 6 років тому +2

    Anyone else jealous of that neck pop at 15:13? Sounded like a good one.

  • @DstrtdMnd
    @DstrtdMnd 4 роки тому +4

    I'm watching all the shows in reverse order.

    • @sunnygee468
      @sunnygee468 4 роки тому

      Omg so am I but everytime there is a new one, I click on that. 🤣

  • @terranceferguson4487
    @terranceferguson4487 6 років тому +2

    "now were they dinosaurs or just versions of us?" made me cry laughing

  • @MrDdye29
    @MrDdye29 6 років тому +13

    Chris stopped watching sports in 1993 so he never knew the Miami Marlins existed

  • @RentFreeClips1
    @RentFreeClips1 6 років тому

    Chris, its been a rough winter, anxiety attacks, depression, but OMFG dude, I laughed so hard at this, your like my fucking therapy, dont stop, the babies are with you, life is so short man and you just make it that much longer.

  • @guccibutthole4114
    @guccibutthole4114 6 років тому +55

    Yo please be on an episode of rick and morty😂😂

    • @annedevlin09
      @annedevlin09 6 років тому

      Gucci Butthole soooo much yes

  • @jonasdamion1627
    @jonasdamion1627 5 років тому +1

    Wow amazing how he went from this episode under so much stress to "My hands are tied now" next episode which is the funniest shit ever

  • @cesg7749
    @cesg7749 6 років тому +3

    “And we can make more money?” 😂😂😂😂😂 love your podcast Chris ✊🏼

  • @whitneypayne2663
    @whitneypayne2663 6 років тому +1

    23:20 is just the voice of Peter from Portlandia

  • @Itsdelaraw
    @Itsdelaraw 6 років тому +84

    Is daddy losing his mind?

    • @annedevlin09
      @annedevlin09 6 років тому +5

      Rawdaboi 100% yes. And so are we. Hahahaha

    • @Tormentality
      @Tormentality 6 років тому +3

      @@annedevlin09 Yes. ahahah I'm surprised how long we've all made it.

    • @traviswolpert5873
      @traviswolpert5873 6 років тому +7

      He has a plan, have some god damn faith.

    • @fullmetalheel
      @fullmetalheel 6 років тому +2

      @@traviswolpert5873 NOISE, Arthur!

    • @yanavorontsov3761
      @yanavorontsov3761 6 років тому

      ROIGHHT? still love him tho.

  • @davidambra1573
    @davidambra1573 6 років тому +14

    I actually tbh quit drinking alcohol with hypnosis. On UA-cam there are Subliminal Sleep programming videos called “how to quit drinking alcohol Subliminal sleep programming(rain sounds)that are 8-10hrs long. You put on headphones and fall asleep listening to these videos. I listened to it about a week straight every night. Haven’t had a drink since. I’ve got over a year now.

    • @mattsandelin
      @mattsandelin 6 років тому +1

      David Ambra this isn’t exactly the same as hypnotizing a conscious person to do something that they aren’t aware of/won’t remember doing. Although, that’s amazing dude. Congrats to you

    • @davidambra1573
      @davidambra1573 6 років тому +2

      Matt Sandelin no I completely understand what he’s talking about now. After this episode I went to my couch sat down and watched the episode of the push. Where they were on the roof. I was misunderstood. Thanks yea it’s definitely something I had absolutely no idea I could get away from I tried everything. And for some reason that worked.

    • @drunkwizard
      @drunkwizard 6 років тому +1

      that's awesome man did you feel any effects prior to the week ending? just one week of listening and you knew you were good? I'm asking cause i think there's power in hypnosis

    • @davidambra1573
      @davidambra1573 6 років тому +2

      Roddy I really didn’t notice the effects. It was almost like it completely re-mapped my brain. Now what I did notice is as time went on it almost started going away. So about 6 months in a did a couple more nights of it. In the beginning as the days went on I could hear my mental monologue telling myself I don’t need to drink I won’t drink. Which was pretty cool. Cause I’d expect myself after work to go get a drink on the drive home. But it was almost like my brain overpowered it and I just kept driving past where I normally would get my drinks from.

    • @drunkwizard
      @drunkwizard 6 років тому

      @@davidambra1573 that sounds really interesting man.. so let me get this straight you listened to this alcohol sobriety hypnosis from UA-cam on repeat all night? how long was the videos/audio? I'm just asking because I've had an addiction to cannabis for years now and everytime i try to stop my brain gives into the feeling of boredom and hopelessness that settles in. perhaps this is the universe throwing me a bone..

  • @acemanhomer1
    @acemanhomer1 6 років тому +2

    "...that's natural." lol

  • @lordsmokingmirror
    @lordsmokingmirror 6 років тому +4

    Looking forward to the " All Ads " episode

  • @MikeJovani
    @MikeJovani 6 років тому +3

    Zhir-bot bit was hilarious.

  • @becky7924
    @becky7924 5 років тому

    One of the funniest shits of Chris' podcasts is the transition between the jokes and the ads. From crazy as shit to formal af.

  • @mariogrock
    @mariogrock 6 років тому +2

    Ok, this episode is my favorite, can't wait till #100

  • @thisjourneycalledlife5957
    @thisjourneycalledlife5957 5 років тому +1

    He does a robot impression so good lmao

  • @ThePearpear3
    @ThePearpear3 9 місяців тому

    Thank god for these, I love ya Chris!!!

  • @loganmarcus6516
    @loganmarcus6516 6 років тому +1

    All caught up! Just in time for Jean Claud's episode

  • @electrAnnika
    @electrAnnika 6 років тому +1

    Internet or no internet. The babies are ride or die 😎

  • @tgstanley4321
    @tgstanley4321 6 років тому +54

    sounds like chris' girl is pregnant

    • @yeezywesty3651
      @yeezywesty3651 6 років тому +11

      He's not the kind of dude that would bring children into the world.

    • @jessparra
      @jessparra 6 років тому +1

      My thoughts exactly. Daddy is finally becoming a real daddy 🔥🔥🥇🥇

    • @novusvoss
      @novusvoss 4 роки тому +3

      @@yeezywesty3651 guess you're wrong af

    • @TheTrueValkyrie66
      @TheTrueValkyrie66 4 роки тому

      @@yeezywesty3651 s'thinks he's deep but s'not

  • @sarahfarnell7033
    @sarahfarnell7033 6 років тому

    42:00 is the hardest transition into a commercial i've ever seen

  • @kwiat-uy3fs
    @kwiat-uy3fs 6 років тому +2

    Ted radio hour impression is actually Fred Armisen impression

  • @crazypath573
    @crazypath573 6 років тому +16

    Funny how Chris doesn't know that Craigslist automatically puts "Don't contact me with unsolicited goods or services" on every ad someone posts, regardless of what it is. The posters are not actually writing that themselves.

    • @TheJschafer89
      @TheJschafer89 6 років тому +8

      Pretty sure he realizes it, he's just over emphasizing the irony...

    • @mattsandelin
      @mattsandelin 6 років тому +8

      It’s actually an option that you can either check or uncheck. It’s pretty funny considering what these people are posting, that they leave it checked

    • @crusheen
      @crusheen 6 років тому

      Yeah...I think it's just about the irony of it. Like this weird ass thing they want or are saying...and they think at the end of writing it...Nah, don't contact me about anything else besides exactly this.

    • @DartagnanMagic
      @DartagnanMagic 5 років тому

      What's funny is you think he doesn't know.

  • @kiwibrand5585
    @kiwibrand5585 6 років тому +2

    You make me laugh so hard, Mr D'Elia. Love your stuff. 😍

  • @jesusfreak1700
    @jesusfreak1700 6 років тому +4

    Congratulations Chris

  • @danielabramson4177
    @danielabramson4177 4 роки тому +2

    Miss this dude

  • @kiddorange1450
    @kiddorange1450 6 років тому +4

    17:47 drip whoops *That's Natural*

  • @kamomatic
    @kamomatic 6 років тому +9

    I am threatened by change

  • @crusheen
    @crusheen 6 років тому +1

    Was that supposed to be the beginning of Where is My Mind by the Pixies?

  • @mariabascogarcia1195
    @mariabascogarcia1195 6 років тому

    Nailed the TED radio hour flavor. Also sounds like an Armisen character. 🙌

  • @johnnyashtray
    @johnnyashtray 6 років тому +8

    FUUUUUCCCCKKKKINNNGGG SSSHHHIIITTT YYYEEESSS MMMOOOTTHHHEEERRFFUUCCKKIIINN BABIES!

  • @fifajesus7784
    @fifajesus7784 6 років тому

    Chris your point about the comedian that made a joke and got silenced, made so much sense you need to preach that shit

  • @Max1dollar
    @Max1dollar 6 років тому

    The TED bit is hilarious😂 Cant stop laughing, so spot on

  • @HupertBupkin
    @HupertBupkin 6 років тому +5

    Lemme ask you a question. So, what’s five plus five?
    Ten.
    Okay - so - then - lemme ask you a question uhh, do we all die?

  • @Orphan-mh6db
    @Orphan-mh6db 6 років тому +1

    Best EP . Of pod Casting ever !!! This had me wanting to end life it self cuz I felt like I seen it all homie LMAO .

  • @marcusmorris1670
    @marcusmorris1670 6 років тому

    That Derren Brown episode is terrifying... thanks for the suggestion... O_O

  • @TheR0manianB0y
    @TheR0manianB0y 6 років тому +6

    IS IT THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • @yeezywesty3651
      @yeezywesty3651 6 років тому +1

      OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • @Rick_Sanchez_Jr.
    @Rick_Sanchez_Jr. 6 років тому +1

    "What happened?" "Did I eat a glazed doughnut?" No.... hahahahahaha xD

  • @kyleplum977
    @kyleplum977 6 років тому +1

    Damn dudes. Chris is actually s’merican. The last half of this episode is the realest.

  • @eviecroft8371
    @eviecroft8371 6 років тому

    Love this man. For so many reasons

  • @imlauranus
    @imlauranus 5 років тому

    My therapist tried to hypnotise me and she couldn't because I was picturing the absurdity of the situation. I mean, me being there, eyes closed and standing still, with her, right in front of me, watching me and speaking in a sooth voice made me lose my shit everytime. I couldn't stay serious, it made her laugh too, so eventually we stopped.

  • @choongification
    @choongification 6 років тому

    any talk of juan fire fills me with joy

  • @SuperMattyjay
    @SuperMattyjay 6 років тому

    That robot award show host bit is fucking genius.

  • @Phrate
    @Phrate 6 років тому +19

    New house with the new girl?

    • @sibe6096
      @sibe6096 6 років тому +13

      Log cabin with a robot pussycock

  • @wolvezbane261
    @wolvezbane261 6 років тому

    This is the first podcast of his that im watching

  • @cdsackett
    @cdsackett 6 років тому

    Holy shit that Michael Barbaro podcast impression. Fucking nailed it.

  • @sketburd9360
    @sketburd9360 6 років тому +2

    Anyone else pick up the vibe that Chris is under a lot of pressure?

  • @Furrrburger
    @Furrrburger 6 років тому +13

    Is the Starbucks closing or moving with you to the new house?

  • @ClaudeMasseyConsulting
    @ClaudeMasseyConsulting 6 років тому

    this was one of the great ones!

  • @feebaby88
    @feebaby88 6 років тому

    Omg the fucking impression of the NPR guy 🤣 I’m sure he makes that face too lmao

  • @David174
    @David174 6 років тому

    I like when my family walks in, sees you and laughs then comes back later like wtf he’s still on that bit?

  • @vivifernandes4791
    @vivifernandes4791 6 років тому

    When Chris talks about the Ted radio dude i couldn't stop laughing lmao😂😂😂😂😊

  • @kaliglyph
    @kaliglyph 6 років тому +1

    Its always One Polka-Dot Dress Away when you think about

  • @syedibrahim2876
    @syedibrahim2876 6 років тому

    Attitude is everything. Qualities advice before the foul chat

  • @Frep77
    @Frep77 4 роки тому +3

    I guess that one traumatic thing to make Chris crazy just happened

  • @allfalledout8686
    @allfalledout8686 6 років тому

    I bet you are going to interview your father on the 100th episode, am happily waiting for that to happen, big fan dude, great episode, kudos and good day Sir.

  • @ashleymitchell8313
    @ashleymitchell8313 5 років тому

    I love that nerdy guy voice so much lol!!

  • @yougotthatfunk3582
    @yougotthatfunk3582 6 років тому +16

    Voted for the cult leader as TFTK guest of the year. Theo should be worried.

  • @amazingflavour
    @amazingflavour 5 років тому

    “I get.. percentages” that was so Brody Stevens

  • @musiczandlife
    @musiczandlife 5 років тому +1

    Am I the only found his impression of the Ted guy sounds very similar to that Fred Armisen?

  • @whatthe5954
    @whatthe5954 6 років тому

    So, I worked for a hypnotist/magician named Darshwood the Conjurer. He would have 1 or 2 audience plants that he would ONLY use if he couldn't get other people to "work."
    I went in VERY skeptical and came out pretty fucking stunned.
    As for real world hypnotising, you should look into MK Ultra and other such programs from around the world.
    Trauma (especially in children) has been proven to create multiple personalities that can have no idea the others exist.

  • @oliviavanjackson
    @oliviavanjackson 5 років тому +1

    Does Juan Fyre laugh when you go on these tangents or does he just sit there dead pan? Cause that’s what I keep imagining no matter how funny they are.

  • @daverunstrain
    @daverunstrain 6 років тому +4

    Somebody smashed into my car and then I lost my I.D. and now I don't care about any of that

  • @katherineelizabethyates5807
    @katherineelizabethyates5807 5 років тому

    Never stop the "reals", keep the "reals", coming.

  • @DaDavid15
    @DaDavid15 6 років тому

    Thank you. I feel like ive waited years for someone to roast that ted hour host lmfao

  • @Chance_Adams
    @Chance_Adams 6 років тому

    Chris’ robot bits fuckin’ kill me

  • @michaelwoods9052
    @michaelwoods9052 6 років тому

    Baby here, been "hypnotized" at the local fair. It's all up the the individual to participate or not. I was with a girl and thought I'd be funny to sing n'syncs bye bye bye song and the lead but I remember it and know what I was doing I just wanted to make my girl laugh. True commitment in the getting laid process as a young cuda.

  • @natalieatamian
    @natalieatamian 6 років тому

    I've gotten hypnotized in a group once and at the beginning, I actually was in a trance but then it faded away so i was like um why am I playing a imaginary tambourine and i just got up and walked away.

  • @TheManOfSteel4444
    @TheManOfSteel4444 5 років тому

    I always think that Chris reminds me of a real life Rick from Rick and Morty so that Christopher lloyd comment is hilarious 🤙🤣

  • @beterbutz
    @beterbutz 6 років тому

    Hahahaha that Derren Brown bit was fucking hilarious

  • @TeacupChinese
    @TeacupChinese 6 років тому +3

    Episode 100 Juan fire reveal ?

  • @devinb9985
    @devinb9985 6 років тому

    Chris the type of dude to hit em up and not make a dent.

  • @mr.sandman4782
    @mr.sandman4782 6 років тому

    13 minutes in and I'm fucking dying laughing. love the podcast

  • @cesarflores2998
    @cesarflores2998 6 років тому

    FRESNO!!! CANT WAIT TO SEE U TOFER!! 🙏🤘

  • @kyleplum977
    @kyleplum977 6 років тому +3

    What’s up my fellow babies??

  • @Fyrecide
    @Fyrecide 5 років тому

    Blue Apron with that premium post-bukkake bit spot...

  • @WillyOrca
    @WillyOrca 6 років тому +6

    Hey chris

  • @gleeshiii9645
    @gleeshiii9645 6 років тому

    I love Chris Rock !