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I watched this movie entirely because I am a movie nerd and it seemed so bad as to be good. Thankfully, I watched it when I was struggling to get to sleep during my divorce. It was rough, but the sweet embrace of every poor decision I've ever made helped distract me from the dialogue. After that, my sus-an membrane kicked in and I went into a coma to safeguard my basic biological functions. Never forget.
@@SpaceIce That movie still lays claim to having the most epic death in cinematic history. Eaten by a tiger while simultaneously being exploded into paste by a landmine field inside of a Roman coliseum. Unbeatable.
In my life there were 2 movies whereby I am the only one watching in the theater. The first was Double Team in 1994, the other was Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever in 2002🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can sum this entire movie up in two sentences: A drunken Spanish man fights a stoic Asian woman in search of his Italian/Puerto Rican wife and their Caucasian son. And literally everything explodes.
It was promoted locally when filming began as the first movie filmed here that actually takes place here in Vancouver. Then the movie came out and we all felt shame.
This movie had one job. One FUCKING job!!! All it had to do was give us a film about Puss in Boots and Viper fighting each other for an hour and thirty minutes with Kitana and Darth Maul in supporting roles. But yet it somehow managed to screw that up and made it a borefest.
I think around 1:03 there was a guest appearance by Seagal when the torturing of a helpless woman was heard on that recording. Mutilating the innocent while sitting down in a chair that can hardly support the weight of his gut is his one core skill.
If I remember correctly, the reason why the movie was an overall mess was because there was multiple rewrites, changes in production and the director Kaosayananda was removed from creative control and some scenes filmed were deleted from the final film. Also they were trying to be more like the matrix (I guess in terms of aesthetics????) I feel bad for Kaosayananda cause they literally massacred his project
The Franchise studio really have some bad history making a movie. That's the reason why the studio went bankrupt after Battlefield Earth. Don't get me started on their lawsuit
I met Lucy Liu during filming this in Vancouver. The mall is called "Tinseltown" and it still remains, to this day, a ghost mall that's somehow still opened. It was most busiest when the crew was filming there. During breaks, I was standing off to the side where Flying Wedge was and yelled out "I love you Lucy!" The best thing is I professed my love to Lucy and she actually walked up and hugged me. I ugly cried for 30 minutes. My life was complete. You could have executed me there and I would have had no regrets. An angel already embraced me.
Got out of my job to see some POS hit my car(not tapped but HIT) and drove off. I was pissed and cursing all the way home. Was happy for a new Space Ice upload. This video made me laugh out loud. Thanks, man.
Imagine the talent you have to possess as writers, producers, and directors to take Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu and somehow come out with a completely unwatchable trainwreck...Hollywood you've done it...again.
@@motherplayer It's so weird because the GBA game was based on a completely different draft of the script for the film. Which might explain why it was a good game.
Fun Fact #1: Lucy Liu & Gregg Henry (the blonde guy) starred opposite Mel Gibson in the movie Payback (1999). Fun Fact #2: The short guy with spiky hair is Ray Park who played Darth Maul in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) & Toad in 1st X-Men movie (2000).
Jesus Christ, seeing this at the cinema was the most painful experience of my life, and I've been crippled after a car accident and had to relearn how to walk.
Fun fact: According to Rotten Tomatoes, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the Number 1 worst reviewed movie of all time. One critic summed it up saying, “Just go bang your head against a wall for 90 minutes. It will have the same effect.”
Directed and produced by Thai filmmaker Wych Kaosayananda (under the pseudonym of 'Kaos') Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever was universally panned by critics and has been frequently described as one of the worst films ever made. The film underperformed at the box-office, grossing $20.2 million on a production budget of $70 million. With a total of 119 reviews, by far the most for a film with a 0% approval rating, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the worst-reviewed film in the history of Rotten Tomatoes. Wych Kaosayananda stated he had never seen the finished film.
You should review Assassins (1995) with Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Bandares. It's easily one of Sly's most underrated and underappreciated films. It's a pretty good and tense action thriller film.
The production company behind this movie was forced into Chapter 11 bankruptcy 2004 because of fraudulent accounting, because of some shenanigans inspired by Mel Brooks's "The Producers".
I worked at a video store when this pos movie hit theaters. We were renting it a month later We had 20 vhs copies and 20 dvd copies for rent. Barely rented due to bad word of mouth.
Requests for next Best Movie Ever. Live Free or Die Hard. The Wheelman. The Guest. Lucy. American Psycho (big challenge, do-able). Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. From Dusk Till Dawn. And we really, really need a 2nd shot at Prisoners of the Ghostland- it's that good, come on bro
I was warming up with crescending laughter the five "Oh, shit, explosion!" but completely lost it at "Ok, NOW everybody's dead!" 😀 Dear Spice-Man Damme, thank you for making my day!
Banderas has a good cosmetic surgeon. He actually didn’t look haggard here. Oh wait, this movie is from 2002. Drops shotgun to pull out handgun. That’s Seagal level stupid.
Even in the film, he has little to no serious need for a full size 12ga pump. 🤔 .... Lucy Liu using a 5.7mm FN P90 made sense. It's small, holds 50-100rd. No recoil.
Met Lucy Liu once. While I was talking to her all I can think was “My god she is short. Like tiny. Like a hobbit!” Then I see her in films like this and know that a really strong breeze can blow her away. So bullets may not stop her but the wind? The wind can stop her.
This video has changed my life. My whole outlook on everything that exists in this world, in fact even in the entire universe. I can never look at anything I know the same way ever again. This video represents emotions most humans could never comprehend. But I can. Thanks to this video I have been awakened to many things previously thought unimaginable. Thank you.
HOLY SH!T EXPLOSION! (A Space Ice original comedy bit) & 'FUMBLE F'ING' total LOL! & 'HOW F'ING DARE YOU!' Massive LULZ! Keep expanding the SCHTICK! You just keep getter better and funnier!
I remember this movie! It was one of the worse films i ever saw as a teen. But haven't watched it since it released. Cool to see Space Ice do a hilarious video on it.
While this is still hilarious maybe work in a couple more legit plot points regardless of how dumb they may I legit don’t even know wtf is going on in any of these anymore lol
Monday 11/25 5pm PST/8pm EST Livestream with Redeye going over Van Damme and Dennis Rodman's MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE Double Team.
Patreon for ad-free, censorship free, and early access to videos: www.patreon.com/Space_Ice
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ua-cam.com/channels/CUJrP3Mfl7jGMHnEkflvBA.htmljoin
I watched this movie entirely because I am a movie nerd and it seemed so bad as to be good. Thankfully, I watched it when I was struggling to get to sleep during my divorce.
It was rough, but the sweet embrace of every poor decision I've ever made helped distract me from the dialogue. After that, my sus-an membrane kicked in and I went into a coma to safeguard my basic biological functions.
Never forget.
Can't wait to see that seagal cupboard fiasco😂😂
@@SpaceIce That movie still lays claim to having the most epic death in cinematic history. Eaten by a tiger while simultaneously being exploded into paste by a landmine field inside of a Roman coliseum. Unbeatable.
In my life there were 2 movies whereby I am the only one watching in the theater. The first was Double Team in 1994, the other was Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever in 2002🤣🤣🤣🤣
@SpaceIce please do Dragon Ball Evolution next….!!!!!!!!
I can sum this entire movie up in two sentences:
A drunken Spanish man fights a stoic Asian woman in search of his Italian/Puerto Rican wife and their Caucasian son. And literally everything explodes.
DEI: The Movie
😂😂😂😂😂 yes
LOL
she keeps her eyes open while shooting and shes hot. just needs to work on the CQB moves
- yup pretty much how i remember it
I really enjoyed the Seagal cameo at the aquarium
This comment deserves more love.
F*cking got ‘em
That's an insult to Beluga whales.
😆
Underrated comment.
It was promoted locally when filming began as the first movie filmed here that actually takes place here in Vancouver. Then the movie came out and we all felt shame.
you mean more shame than just being canadian
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA.
This movie is like a walking billboard that states "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FILM IN VANCOUVER" 😅
Condolences. I recognized the Vancouver Library building...
Oh yeah my mom was event coordinator for the plaza of nations and kept telling me all about it. I always hated the name
"There's a perfectly reasonable explana..HOLY SHIT EXPLOSIONS!"
It's the equivalent to dogs seeing squirrels
lol, there’s no reason why she would even being trying to assassinate Banderas when he’s in the school bus.
🤣🤣🤣
That dance off was Seagal level.
Some Auralnauts vibes too.
Desperadon't
I see what you Desperadid.
Let's not be too harsh, they deserve a desperadover
This movie had one job. One FUCKING job!!! All it had to do was give us a film about Puss in Boots and Viper fighting each other for an hour and thirty minutes with Kitana and Darth Maul in supporting roles. But yet it somehow managed to screw that up and made it a borefest.
Despera’no
Desperadont why dont you come to your senses? 🤣
Roberto Schneider
¿Donde estan la biblioteca?
@@FranktheDachshundtu casa madre
Esteban Gaviota.
Yo no hablo Espanol, que dicen... ah mier-
“Antonio! Hacer copias!”
Asian driving jokes? What is this nineteen eighty...HOLY SH1T EXPLOSIONS!!!
Asian WOMAN driving jokes.
You could tell the era by “bang band di ditty ditty” being a non-ironic part of the soundtrack.
🤣🤣
Classics never die just like the bartender 😂. See what I did there
That dance off scene was one of the funniest things I've seen in a really long time. Space Ice you are a scholar and a gentleman.
I also rewatch a few times 😂😂
No matter what people say about this movie, at least Steven Seagal isn’t a part of it
According to sensei Segal that's why it failed. He didn't write it 😂
You obviously didn't watch the video as far as 8:05
“Newtonian physics is collapsing, all around him.” I love this line.
The flipped bus picking up speed was amazing 😂
newtonian physics collapsing
That dance scene caught me so off guard. Easily the second best dance scene you've ever shown us
Am I going senile or is Space Ice getting even better at making these? This was hilarious
He's miles ahead of where he was 2 years ago
His writing, editing and narration have improved immensely.
For sure, it's top notch.
Both.
Keep in mind this is SUUUUPER low hanging fruit tho
"Find an Asian woman who can't drive somewhere out in the world...piece of cake" - Space Ice, you are the best.
How do you blindfold an asian? Its not dental floss....its with a windshield
@@CountDrankula0o0 As an Asian, I find your joke extremely offensive.......because you used it before I could🤣
One of his best....and that bar was already super high
Racist yet not a truer word was ever spoken.
Hey, my wife is Asian. She can't drive.
It's pretty funny that Lucy Liu handles a firearm and shooting better than most of the action heroes in Hollywood
Finders V. Keepers was a golden joke!
Simpsons joke
I think around 1:03 there was a guest appearance by Seagal when the torturing of a helpless woman was heard on that recording. Mutilating the innocent while sitting down in a chair that can hardly support the weight of his gut is his one core skill.
If I remember correctly, the reason why the movie was an overall mess was because there was multiple rewrites, changes in production and the director Kaosayananda was removed from creative control and some scenes filmed were deleted from the final film.
Also they were trying to be more like the matrix (I guess in terms of aesthetics????)
I feel bad for Kaosayananda cause they literally massacred his project
Oh, I don’t think the original was going to be any good…
@@DerMeister821It would've at least been more consistent than the final result.
Rob Schneider
The Franchise studio really have some bad history making a movie. That's the reason why the studio went bankrupt after Battlefield Earth. Don't get me started on their lawsuit
So basically this was The Matrix Ret*rded in all but name.
I met Lucy Liu during filming this in Vancouver. The mall is called "Tinseltown" and it still remains, to this day, a ghost mall that's somehow still opened. It was most busiest when the crew was filming there. During breaks, I was standing off to the side where Flying Wedge was and yelled out "I love you Lucy!"
The best thing is I professed my love to Lucy and she actually walked up and hugged me.
I ugly cried for 30 minutes. My life was complete. You could have executed me there and I would have had no regrets. An angel already embraced me.
Unless there was an explosion, THAT SH*T never happened!
I"m kind of jealous, but not, but still a little.
Yea, she is a beautiful woman.
Monica
Jesus Christ this is fem as fuck
Got out of my job to see some POS hit my car(not tapped but HIT) and drove off. I was pissed and cursing all the way home.
Was happy for a new Space Ice upload.
This video made me laugh out loud.
Thanks, man.
Lucy Liu strikes again
It's official! Lucy Liu knows how to shoot, unlike seagal
She can also raise her leg above her waist. Something else Segal wished he could do.
And she can climb up the stairs perfectly 😂😂
Tragically, their acting talents are roughly equivalent.
We're starting with Banderas now! Sweet
Assassins next, please?
@@itsjustme8947
Thought the same 😅
Imagine the talent you have to possess as writers, producers, and directors to take Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu and somehow come out with a completely unwatchable trainwreck...Hollywood you've done it...again.
We at least got two decent FPSs on GBA for our troubles.
I'm reading your comment using space Ice's voice.
@@motherplayer It's so weird because the GBA game was based on a completely different draft of the script for the film. Which might explain why it was a good game.
If this movie was released in 2024 instead of 2002 it would literally top the charts
Fun Fact #1: Lucy Liu & Gregg Henry (the blonde guy) starred opposite Mel Gibson in the movie Payback (1999).
Fun Fact #2: The short guy with spiky hair is Ray Park who played Darth Maul in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) & Toad in 1st X-Men movie (2000).
How dare you speak about my fantasy baby mama in this tone, Space Ice.
It maybe a dude 😂
Space Ice is my UA-cam hero for one very good re-
Holyshit Explosions!
If a mullet could talk, its voice would sound exactly like Space Ice, and I'm all for it.
The fact that this didn't kill/destroy the careers of Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu says a lot.
Jesus Christ, seeing this at the cinema was the most painful experience of my life, and I've been crippled after a car accident and had to relearn how to walk.
congratulation on your recovery!
@GlitchedUtopia thank you. It was many years ago, but that long year remains a vivid memory.
Transformers 3 was mine
@nurgle333 my sympathies, I noped out of Transformers after the 1st one.
Fun fact: According to Rotten Tomatoes, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the Number 1 worst reviewed movie of all time. One critic summed it up saying, “Just go bang your head against a wall for 90 minutes. It will have the same effect.”
Directed and produced by Thai filmmaker Wych Kaosayananda (under the pseudonym of 'Kaos') Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever was universally panned by critics and has been frequently described as one of the worst films ever made. The film underperformed at the box-office, grossing $20.2 million on a production budget of $70 million. With a total of 119 reviews, by far the most for a film with a 0% approval rating, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the worst-reviewed film in the history of Rotten Tomatoes. Wych Kaosayananda stated he had never seen the finished film.
Unfortunately I saw it once. It truly is one of the worst films ever made.
- perfectly copied from wikipedia
@@docsays so?
@@Artofficial1986 - it might be nice to mention where you got the info. Thats all
@@docsays ok i will next time professor. Will this effect my grade?
Ahh, the good ole days when Lucy Lui was being shoehorned into everything.
Yeah... well... I wouldn't mind being "shoehorned" into her!
That dance-off edit... Now THAT was an underrated masterpiece
You should review Assassins (1995) with Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Bandares. It's easily one of Sly's most underrated and underappreciated films. It's a pretty good and tense action thriller film.
The production company behind this movie was forced into Chapter 11 bankruptcy 2004 because of fraudulent accounting, because of some shenanigans inspired by Mel Brooks's "The Producers".
"How much of Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever have we sold?" "25,000%"
FINALLY! Someone explained this piece of .... to where I could understand the plo..............EXPLOSION!
COP IN SUV: "Alright, Chief! I lost those two bikes which were chasing me."
POLICE CHIEF: "You were supposed to be chasing THEM, you idiot!"
That bad guy in this movie that danced off with Lucy Leu was the same guy who played Darth Maul lol
Ray Park? I didn't know he was in this
@@patrickbateman312didn’t know the dark knight would be in UA-cam comments
Vitas - The 7th Element ->if you're thinking "where did I hear that dance-off music?"
One of the greatest music videos of all time! lmao
Rob Schneider is anti vax & publicly spoke out against lockdowns & vax mandates.
The man is a saint.
Big Stan was awesome!
5:45 that cop's level IS OVER 9,000! yes... that is Vegeta
Those weren't whole rounds being ejected, the 7.62 blank round has an elongated neck to help with feeding.
Thank you! I had to search 2 minutes for this comment!
I worked at a video store when this pos movie hit theaters. We were renting it a month later We had 20 vhs copies and 20 dvd copies for rent. Barely rented due to bad word of mouth.
When Space Ice said "Well, ok then" I felt that LOLLLLLL
Requests for next Best Movie Ever. Live Free or Die Hard. The Wheelman. The Guest. Lucy. American Psycho (big challenge, do-able). Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. From Dusk Till Dawn. And we really, really need a 2nd shot at Prisoners of the Ghostland- it's that good, come on bro
I was warming up with crescending laughter the five "Oh, shit, explosion!" but completely lost it at "Ok, NOW everybody's dead!" 😀 Dear Spice-Man Damme, thank you for making my day!
0:42 subtle joke is killing me right now😂😂😂😂
I can’t breathe hahahahha
Banderas has a good cosmetic surgeon. He actually didn’t look haggard here. Oh wait, this movie is from 2002. Drops shotgun to pull out handgun. That’s Seagal level stupid.
Even in the film, he has little to no serious need for a full size 12ga pump. 🤔 .... Lucy Liu using a 5.7mm FN P90 made sense. It's small, holds 50-100rd. No recoil.
Holy sheet explosion !!!...Nice touch SpaceIce...😝😝🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1:38 the angry video game nerd
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Same thought
Space Ice is to explosions what a kitten is to a laser light.
"spraying your hose at the dogs going at it on your front lawn" is the funniest thing I've heard this week and it's fucking Froydayyyy
Met Lucy Liu once. While I was talking to her all I can think was “My god she is short. Like tiny. Like a hobbit!”
Then I see her in films like this and know that a really strong breeze can blow her away. So bullets may not stop her but the wind? The wind can stop her.
This video has changed my life. My whole outlook on everything that exists in this world, in fact even in the entire universe. I can never look at anything I know the same way ever again. This video represents emotions most humans could never comprehend. But I can. Thanks to this video I have been awakened to many things previously thought unimaginable. Thank you.
The writer of this, the worst reviewed film in history, later went on to write Star Trek: Discovery. Just pointing that out.
I'm amazed there there was a dancing scene and it didn't involve a certain Belgian actor in a certain Asian bar.
"How bout a Mall in Vancouver or some shit...nailed it!" 😂😂😂😂
That dance off music is fucking hilarious,you have to use it.🤣🤣🤣
I've never seen this movie but why do I think Space Ice's version makes more sense?
It always does...
0:42 "...to be such a bad driver, you could wreck a parked car" Then an Asian woman shows up. 🤣🤣I saw what you did there Space Ice!
This shit came out in 2002 and thank god I never heard of it until now. God damnit, Space Ice!
Lucy Liu, my lover.
I'll always remember you.
MEMORY DELETED!
@@ebbderelict Oh I got that one, nice
People need to know about the can eat more
@@ebbderelict ahh the glory days of futurama
This movie would've been more enjoyable if Steven Seagal wrote, directed, and starred in it.
@@mimzy4319 Bloatistic: Breakfast vs Cheddar
@@Clockworkorangecassidy Stairs vs Chairs!
@mimzy4319 We need a Mega blockbuster hit movie to show the world:
Staring Steven Seagal.
Written by Neil Breen.
Directed by Uwe Boll.
I just wouldn't feel the same if these weren't Mayguh BlockBuster Hit Movies.
Steven Seagull: What's my fault here?
Space Ice: Every thing.
I am just here to listen to you say "MEGA HIT BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE"
Space Ice do a video on The 13th Warrior with Antonio, please! Would be epic!!!
We need a remake of that masterpiece with Rob Schneider vs Sensei Seagal
Bravo, sir! You are only getting better and better with time. This was hilarious. May your mullet be lush and wild forever.
It's not a good movie, but it's nowhere near as bad as many movies. Some of those were even financially successful.
HOLY SH!T EXPLOSION! (A Space Ice original comedy bit) & 'FUMBLE F'ING' total LOL! & 'HOW F'ING DARE YOU!' Massive LULZ! Keep expanding the SCHTICK! You just keep getter better and funnier!
Thank you, Spaceman. I had a good laugh.
"He rolls all the way into an aquarium. Just go with it."
3:23 "aren't gonna let her one down them." 😂 I'm cooked.
As good as the FBI/ATF scabies comparison haha
I remember this movie! It was one of the worse films i ever saw as a teen. But haven't watched it since it released.
Cool to see Space Ice do a hilarious video on it.
Movie had some great explosions, no cgi
So much staring and continuity errors in this movie. I remember seeing ads for this movie when I grew up and it ended up as a total clusterfuck
Forget about Finders Vs Keepers the real story was Losers Vs Weepers
So upsetting that Darth Maul sounds so unthreatening. Must be why he rarely gets lines.
9:10 dance 🕺💃
Best part!!
Ok....what is the name of that song 😂😂😂😂😂
8:04 It's rare to see Steve Segal swimming in his natural habitat 😂😂😂
This is the funniest channel on UA-cam
Imagine if Space Ice covered Threads (1984).
Everyone in Sheffield is just having fun EXPLOSION!
Iceman is a gift from the heavens. Your videos are the highlight of my weeks!
Time to leave a perfectly normal comm- HOLY SHIT EXPLOSION!!
Movie could have just said Rob Schneider and then end credits roll. Would have paid to see that.
😮happy Monday Space Icers
I think I'm one of the only people to have ever seen this film in the theater.
I'm right there with you. I never thought or heard about it again until today.
@@mimzy4319 It was just you two. It grossed 13 dollars at the box office because I know you cheap asses went to the matinee.
Yo Space Ice, at the end you should give these movies a star ⭐️ review. 0 out of *insert number* stars 😜👌🏻👍🏻
“While Newtonian Physics is collapsing all around him…”
Absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work.
While this is still hilarious maybe work in a couple more legit plot points regardless of how dumb they may I legit don’t even know wtf is going on in any of these anymore lol
The villains masterplan to get the girl is the Steven Seagal of masterplans.
Space Ice 🧊 blessing us, yet again!
I can't do .5 seconds of your voice without giggling to tears dude
Banderas looks like Segal body double in this movie
You made a valid point when…. HOLY SHIT, EXPLOSIONS!!!!
If anyone's curious the dance song is called 7th element, the video is something else