0:00 Intro 2:14 Part One: "The Song" 2:55 TW "Ur So Gay" 3:30 End of "Ur So Gay" 8:53 TW Kesha/Dr Luke Lawsuit 11:36 End Kesha 12:05 Part Two: "Bisexuality in Pop Music" 25:38 Part Three: "Biphobia and Friends" 39:54 Conclusion
Thank fucking god you mentioned that women refuse to date bi men. I can't find any videos talking about this from bi men, and this is the most I have heard a bi woman say about it.
"Opression is not a snuggie!" I need that on a pin or t-shirt. Also, THANK YOU for mentioning Aces in your discussion of LGBTQ+ communities. As an Ace woman who wanted to watch this video mainly in support of her Bi sister, that was a really pleasant surprise
Is there any chance you can give links to buy those fabulous art pieces behind you? Or can you at least tell me who made them? Oh and I’m trying to figure out who that is in the piece right behind your head, is that Starfire?
Thank you for putting up timestamps, it took me months figure out how the chapters feature worked so I'm sure there are people who really needed this 🌈 Edit: the rainbow was an accident but I'm keeping it in lol
Well, I guess it's ironic, but it's also just cause and effect, unfortunately. :/ Bi people share a characteristic with two larger groups, so exclusion and gatekeeping are a problem in both of those groups. Sigh.....
My strongest memory of this song is when I was like 7 or 8, my family went to the pool and the song came on. It was super catchy and I started to sing a long. My mom then grabbed my wrist and told me to never sing that song again cause girls don’t kiss girls... and now I’m a lesbian 👁👄👁
As an ace person, it was a really nice surprise to hear mention of asexuality since it feels like we're usually left out of these conversations and discourse. I know it's not the main point of this video but I still really appreciate it.
Yes, specially being in a video about bisexuality. I spent most of my teenager years thinking I was probably bisexual bcs I felt the same way about girls than I did about boys and didn't know assexuality was a thing, and maybe somebody seeing it also didn't know it was possible and now they do.
@@juliaabreus yeah honestly I think I went through every possible label in my 20 years of living (though mostly comp het) before settling on "probably aro/ace" around a year ago. The idea didn't even enter my mind until my friend's ex kind of came out and I did a little research on it. Honestly the awarness and understanding of asextuality is just bad amongst the general public so I wouldn't be surprised if many more people were struggling in the same way.
@@gazingatsaturn same lmao I always kinda get a jolt whenever I'm watching a video and they mention asexuality like, "Ooh this doesn't happen much let's see what they'll sayyyy"
I wanted to apologize for calling Janelle Monae a woman, they are non-binary! Thank you to those who reminded me to be aware of my language concerning non-binary folks. I'll make sure to take care in the future xx P
Well, they've told us they were an advanced form of cybernetic life beyond our binary understanding in two albums after all. lol (Note: I am not implying that NB people are robots this is a joke y'all are great feeling thinking human beings!)
@@grandsome1 ahah, yes, we are definitely not cybernetic robots. please continue to spread the word that we enby's are normal meat people, for this is correct. beep boop
"Figuring out who you are in a hypersexualized world is very difficult and we do not give people room to safely do that." That line hit me really hard and thank you for saying it.
I kissed a girl is more a song about "I kissed a girl but now I'm gonna walk it back in all verses by explaining how I have a BF and i'm totally not gay!" than gay acceptance or finding your sexuality
Yea I thought I was bi, I’m super grateful that my parents gave me room to sit and think about everything before I came out as a lesbian. Surprisingly my 50 yr old parents who was told that gay is a sin was more accepting and understanding of my sexuality than my own sister lol
@@renny489 its the same with me and my family! my mom does what she can to support me and understand my sexuality/gender identity and just be more open and accepting in general...meanwhile my brothers a ben shapiro stan
so before i figured out that i am like. a man. i used to identify as a lesbian. and i used to be pretty open about it before the terfs attacked me and started misgendering me by saying "we just lost another lesbian" and like😃😃 thank you for making me feel like my identity isn't valid
The fact that you're dating an ace woman gives me so much hope because I identify as an ace lesbian and always worry that no woman will ever love me because I'm ace it fills me with reassurance to see an allosexual woman in a fulfilling and loving relationship with an ace woman...
i feel that. I'm biromantic ace, but I still struggle with the ace label because my sexuality has changed throughout my life, and I absolutely struggle with relationships, because sex is such a huge part of them, and it becomes such a problem to navigate that within a relationship when you're ace. Like I don't really even bother dating anymore because of the sexual expectations of dating and relationships, and while I'm happy with myself and I love myself, it's still lonely sometimes and I wonder if I"ll ever find someone where it will WORK. So it's like super fulfilling to see someone being in a relationship with someone ace. definitely gives me hope.
I still don't get why some people would believe that. As a bisexual person, I feel like the term is more discriminatory against trans people who aren't mtf/ftm (non-binary, agender, etc), since bi means two in greek and doesn't include more genders. Trans women are women and trans men are men, they aren't a third gender.
"The year was 2008. I thought I was still heterosexual and believed I was going to marry Alan Rickman." Me, sweating profusely wondering how Princess got a hold of my diary.
and the interview where the guy asked her a creepy ass question about if she had a penis, and where she pretty much said "so what if i do, who gives a shit?"
Eh. She had a chance to speak out against the Tr*mp administration when she performed at the Super Bowl halftime, and she didn't, leaving many moderates that claim to be "leftists" and conservatives to breathe a sigh of relief for her being "tasteful" and "respectful". She had a chance to do something radical and positive, but she squandered it so she wouldn't cause a ruckus. Bi or not, she's rather performative when she wants to be. 🤷🏻♀️
For me, this song was the equivalent of a prisoner munching on moldy bread because it was all they had to eat. Nowadays there are so many gay female/bisexual artists for younger people to listen to, and that's a wonderful development.
@@andynonymous6769 marika hackman, the japanese house, angel olsen, courtney barnett, soccer mommy, phoebe bridgers, japanese breakfast, julien baker, st vincent and lucy dacus are some of my favourite of many wlw artists! :D i could go on and on
As a lesbian I truly do not get how people discovering their true selves is seen as "lesbians disappearing," like we lesbians took time to figure ourselves out too! I personally applaud anyone who formerly identified as lesbian but figured out they're not - it's awesome that you're finding your true, authentic self, just as I formerly identified as demi-het, bi, and pan
Same! I’m still feeling out the romantic attraction side. It feels fluid between Biromantic, Lesbian romantic, or Aro. Living as a hermit is not helping currently. I identified as Bi for a period of time because my sexual attraction was the same for all genders 0 = 0 lol
AAAHHHHH KHADIJA!!!!!!! I love seeing you supporting other Black youtubers!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD Edit: you don't need to watch only Black people. I don't know if I came across as offensive or anything. Support who you want regardless of race. It's just nice to see. :)
I don't know why UA-cam recommended this to me even though I'm a straight cis guy who barely interacts with LGBTQ type content, but I'm honestly glad it did. I appreciated the way you criticized 2000s culture for using bisexual women and lesbians as eye candy for sleazy guys. It just resonated with me and I guess justified my problems with guys who fetishize lesbians. Also discussing how media's changing view of sexuality outside of heterosexual relationships makes me glad how we as a society are actually giving LGBTQ a fair shake. Sorry, if this was a little too long and rant-ish, I just really wanted to just tell someone how this video gave me a really nice epiphany. P.S.: Somebody already mentioned this in the comments but the "finding yourself in a hypersexualised world" statement was really well spoken.
Hearing the statements made dismissing Kesha's lawsuit always makes my blood boil. The part I don't get is why a private text message to a friend is considered defamatory. Is she just not allowed to tell anyone that she was assaulted unless she can 100% prove it? That's ridiculous.
A defamatory statement is a false statement of fact that exposes a person to hatred, ridicule, causes them to be shunned, or injures them in their business or trade. She might want to label Katy Perry as a friend, but in a legal sense she's someone they're both involved with professionally. Personally I believe her, but there's no getting around that her case was really weak.
Yes I was absolutely in LOVE with this woman called Abby from a tv show when I was little but since lesbians were always portrayed as sluts so I was like NOOOO IM NOT GAAAYYYY I JUST LIKE WOMEEENNNNN
2000s baby bis thought we were so slick. "I just think I Kissed a Girl is catchy. 😊" "Oh no I'm reading Strawberry Panic because I like the plot, I just skip over the scenes of them kissing. 🤭" "Megan Fox? I guess she's okay. 🤗" Delusion.
I'm loving all these replies, the bi collective unconscious. I know we all read it for "the story" but I literally could not tell you a single plot point.
Thanks for talking about ace exclusionary rhetoric in lgbt spaces. I first identified as asexual in 9th grade as a self deprecating joke after being continuously teased my entire life for not ever having an answer to the “who do you like” question. I had no idea it was a real sexual identity until five years later. I knew I didn’t work the same as my friends when it came to things like “crushes” from a very young age. Finding a name for it didn’t change who I was. I’d also love to see an exploration of how inaccessible queer spaces are to disabled people. Along with straight up ablism, there is also very little effort into making spaces accessible and just sort of a mild discomfort with the idea of disabled people having a sexual perspective. Also I know this is dumb, but I don’t think I have ever found a way to participate in Pride in my wheelchair. No one even considers us.
I don't think that's dumb at all, you bring up a serious problem. Ablism and accessibility are a huge issue and it is important that people talk about it, I would love a video on that too. Pride should always be wheelchair accessible! As someone who doesn't use a mobility device, but can only stand for a limited amount of time (circulatory system problems) I find myself really taking a good look at how our society is designed for only those with full motor capabilities. It is infuriating and I have a hard time talking about it to people because I "look fine".
Lmao I remember my "I thought I was heterosexual" phase....I even managed to have a full scale crush on a girl but noooo, my mind was like "this is TOTALLY platonic, so what that my heart skips a beat when she looks at me, I just wanna be FRIENDS obvs??" I'm so mad at heteronormative society for letting me believe this for as long as I did.
Not me reading this and suddenly remembering this girl that I sat next to in history class and now that I think ab it I had a FAT crush on her. She was so cool and pretty and I literally blushed every time she talked to me. Lmao I was totally obsessed with her and she just wanted to copy my work
never forget my I think I'm bi phase. dated my trans friend thinking I had a crush on her, turns out I just thought she was cool because she was deviantart "famous" 😅
Looking back I can see I was kind of in love with 2 of my best friends and I’m so sad I couldn’t get the courage to ever tell them even though I remember being nervous and wanting to tell them several times and even now I want to and I miss them. Society and my school and how everyone treated anyone who wasn’t straight and my own worries about rejection or ruining the friendships and being scared of my family’s reaction just stopped me. I still haven’t told them or come out to anyone I know but I wish I could, it’s so sad that we live in this kind of a world. I’m happy things are slowly getting better but I wish it was a more accepting place and I feel for everyone who has been through worse pain and situations than myself due to this prejudice and discrimination we have to face every day which makes us feel like we have to live a lie and can’t be ourselves or just love who we love. Things are getting better and will get better! We have to keep pushing for a brighter future. Thank you to the creator of this video for educating people and spreading such good messages in your video!
I absolutly had this phase when I was around 16 and it took nearly eight years, a really deep crush on another female friend and more than whole year of "questioning" until I finally embraced my bisexuality. And even then I didn't feel like I could out myself because I hadn't any "real experience" with women or non-men in general besides kissing. It's so fucked up.
yeah like lesbians are only "disappearing" if you're exluding trans and nonbinary lesbians or if you act like bi, pan, etc women are somehow inferior wlw - some lesbians (mostly older cis lesbians, not to generalize) refuse to date mspec women for whatever reason
@@mammoneymelon but bi/pan/queer women literally aren't lesbians?? so those women existing has nothing to do with whether or not lesbians are "disappearing"?? i don't understand why you brought that up?
@@rachelmp2401 i mean, some lesbians do consider bisexual women to be part of our community. it wasn’t always this way and lesbian used to be synonymous with sapphic before in-group fighting happened snd some lesbians today don’t agree with that exclusion (myself included)
lmao I really hate how so many of us had to grow up hearing artists, family members and friends straight-ifying girl on girl actions. Mfs really had me thiking that I was straight even after being obviously attracted to girls sexually ad romantically. Clown business 😭
I felt the same way! And many girls were so much more touchy than the boys (grabbing hands, hugging, sitting close). I never felt comfortable doing that to other girls, because I didn't want to creep them out (like a boy hugging a girl, or grabbing her hand). I was trying to be respectful. And I was worried they would know I liked girls. All sorts of backwards thoughts the heteronormative society put into my head.
oh my god same here and like @marleybarley says it didn't help that so many girls were openly touchy and I too was too uncomfortable doing that with other girls because I wanted to respect boundaries and didn't want to get outed.
"If you like Sailor Moon there's 60-40 chance you're bisexual." Me who identifies as straight but has been wondering/questioning for a while: "Oh, I see."
@@Stonehawk I mean, if you wish you were bi you probably are? It sounds like saying I wish I liked to eat strawberries because I want to eat strawberries.
@@ameliagryffon7097 @Amelia Gryffon Eh, I think there's probably something that could be considered very 'convenient' about the *concept* of bisexuality in that it opens up more options that could lead someone to consider it preferable to their current situation. A sort of ultimate 'grass is always greener' statement.
I was literally told so many times that this song was really inappropriate and i couldnt listen to it, but you know Blurred lines, a song about r@pe culture was completely fine for my young ears
Love this! This is why I hate it when people invalidate other mspec labels because bi exists and we should all just have that as our label. Some of us feel comfortable being referred to as bi in addition to our other mspec identities and some of us don’t. But the key thing is that some mspec label that is not bi gives other people the same power to be themselves that you got from the bi label. Instead of forcing us to identify as whatever makes someone else feel powerful, we should be allowed to feel that for ourselves.
Yes! I still feel some anxiety around this because I've seen a bunch of definitions of bisexual vs. pansexual and I don't want to use a label that gives the wrong impression... I'm glad the latter seems to be coalescing around "attraction regardless of gender" because I know that DOESN'T fit. My attraction to different genders feels different, and I have multiple distinct "types". But it has nothing to do with whether someone is trans or not!
@@PirateQueen1720 bisexuality has always been attraction to all genders/regardless of gender, explicitly including trans and non binary people, and every attempt to change that came from non-bisexuals. Verilybitchie makes a lot of well researched videos on the history of bisexuality which I'd highly recommend.
I've always taken issue with the idea that Bi immediately means someone is Transphobic because, like, Trans women are women and Trans men are men so.... it basically just feels very TERF-ish when people accuse Bisexuality of being Trans-exclusive (not to mention that there are lots of Bisexual Trans people, like, they do exist! 😂) -- P
YES I'm a bisexual trans man and I've had so many cis people online tell me I have to ID as pan because I'm trans and it's so annoying...I'm a nonbinary man but I'm not a third option on the sexual ballot. I don't have anything against pansexual as a term, but the term bisexual has ALWAYS included us and I have an inherent distrust of cis pansexuals because of that attitude :/
@@vvviridian hard same. I've honestly, as a bi non binary person, never met a pansexual who hasn't either fetishised my non binary transness, been biphobic (either saying we can't include trans and non binary people or saying we're all genital obsessed etc), or been transphobic in their complete othering of trans people. It's sad but at the same time that's literally where the term comes from (it was first used as a sexuality label by trans chasers) so it's not really surprising.
It's so weird because the bi and trans community were basically the same thing for a long time. Bisexuality has always been explicitly trans inclusive. Verity Richie has a really well researched video about it ua-cam.com/video/7-e8C80VEfY/v-deo.html
@@Brynwyn123 yeah, that's rough. Personally, most of the pan people I've known are just intent on making me understand that they're more open than me because they identify and pan and I identify as bi. Then when I say that my bi-ness is not trans or nb exclusive and the label doesn't mean that much to me, so they can call me pan, bi or omni if they way to. I just go by bi because learning that term was so freeing for me, and historically it's been inclusive, so I don't worry about it. Then they brush me off as if I'm lying. I'm sure that's not universal, but that's been my experience.
I appreciate you talking about the connection between acephobia and biphobia. They're incredibly interwoven in terms of being dismissed as "performative" and excluded for being either secret hets or fake gays/lesbians in the closet. So thank you.
Worth noting that Katy Perry later changed her story and said that she had "done more than" kiss girls and had tried to "pray the gay away" in her Christian youth. She didn't identify as queer but it sounds like they're might've been more genuine experience than she acknowledged at the time.
As a 72-yo woman I initially thought I wouldn't have any reason to comment on this video, as excellent as it was, because I've never been particularly cued into pop music, even when I was younger. I was always more of a movie fan and it occurred to me that my preferences in movies, actors, and roles probably factored into my identity, which is complicated. I always loved movies that were old even when I was young (many of them had dinosaurs in non-speaking roles) and I realized that i was drawn to androgynous actors, costumes, and roles. One of my favorite old films is Queen Christina starring Greta Garbo butching it up as the medieval queen of Sweden, and yes, she kisses a girl on the mouth! I loved seeing Marlene Dietrich in a tux. I love movie musicals and those with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are special favorites of mine. I always loved when they contrived to have Ginger dance in trousers, my favorite being the number "Isn't This a Lovely Day" from Top Hat. My identity evolved from cis het to lesbian to bisexual to asexual aromantic non-binary feminine/androgynous presenting woman. Like I said, it's complicated. Thanks for the video!
Honestly, this video was very moving to me. As a married 29- year-old cis woman (married to a man), I'm just now coming around to my bisexuality. As I was growing up, I had same-sex sexual dreams and would often tell myself I was straight and that those feelings weren't real as the media and people around me characterized bisexual behavior among women as attention-seeking behavior and not legitimate. Even when I did accept my sexual attraction to women I still didn't feel like I was allowed to claim membership in the LGBTQ+ community because I am in monogamous heterosexual relationship and can pass as heterosexual. I appreciate what you've said in this because it puts words to the insecurities and confusion I've felt (and still feel) about my sexuality and recognizes the erasure that bisexual women face.
It's actually heartbreaking hearing some of the vocal samples that weren't used in their music; Julia's voice was literally broken because "screaming is Tatu's trademark" and singing is genuinely painful for her now. Her live performances since like 2015 are actually pretty hard to watch for me, not because they're "bad" but because you can tell how much of her voice is missing.
@@shortbreadgirlscout3463 screaming fucks you up if you don't do it right, you are right in that she should have looked into healthier ways to scream, but im not sure how available that help was when she started
After the VMAs where Britney and XTina kissed Madonna, my Catholic school was thrown into a full moral panic and my home room teacher sat us all down to explain why it was dirty and immoral. I just remember scribbling nervously in my binder because I sat beside a really pretty girl and watching the Buffy DVD box sets had awakened something in me.
I'm a lesbian woman and I've never had a "bisexual phase". I'd had a boy crush once before I even hit puberty and then just tried to force myself into comphet mindset. But almost immediately after that, I fell head over heels in love with my female classmate. And then with my best friend. And again. And again. And I've never had feelings even remotely as deep for any man in my life, and *still* before coming out as a lesbian to my parents I tried to soften the blow with "I'm not gay, I'm bi actually!" which was so dumb, because my mom still says shit like "but you *might* fall and love with a boy someday and marry him, right?" Yes, Helen there's a 0.000000001% chance that I *might* but I wouldn't want you to count too much on it. So yea, this idea that every girl has bisexual tendencies and "experimenting phase" perpetuated by media and pop culture really pisses me off. It's okay for women to explore their sexuality but it's absolutely not okay to fetishize and monetize it.
As a gay pastor's kid I LOVED the song "I Kissed a Girl" as at the time (being a teenager in a conservative home) the "It felt so wrong, it felt so right" lyrics really resonated with me. I can see why some take issue with the song, but I always look back fondly on it.
Honestly, is there any evidence that "I kissed a girl" was part of Katie Perry rebelling against her conservative religious parents? That's always how it came across to me and your comment kinda remind me of that. Also agree with you that while the song might have problems, I too look back on it fondly.
I should've realized I was a lesbian the minute my sisters played "I Kissed A Girl" and Avril Lavine's "Girlfriend" and I was disappointed when I realized neither singer actually liked the girls they were talking about(or at least didnt seem to)- years later I almost cried when I heard Haley Kiyoko's "Girls Like Girls" on the radio for the first time(I thought I was bi at the time, so I was especially relieved that she wasn't being perfomative for men's attention- she actually likes girls! It was huge to me at the time and still is) I've never heard a song that spoke to my asexuality, though
i think there's a song called 'never been in love' by will jay, its really good! there's also home by cavetown which has some kind of aro/ace undertones since the singer is also aroace :D
I remember when Taylor Swifts, You Belong With Me came out and I hadn't seen the music video, so the narrative my adolescent brain came up with was that she was singing to A GIRL. That the entire song was her confessing to a girl. AND I SOMEHOW THOUGHT I WAS STILL STRAIGHT (for ref I'm pansexual)
As an aro/ace nonbinary person, honestly half the time I feel like I'm just safer lying and saying that "Oh no I'm a pansexual trans man" so I don't get ridicule. Great video now I'm going to lay down and stare at the ceiling for an hour.
I'm aro ace too! And where I live is still very...hetero.Seriously,not a lesbian in sight lol so when I'm wit my friends and some dude is bothering me I just say:sorry dude,I like girls! At best,they leave me alone after saying tHaT's HoT....at worst they make jokes about that being sO hOt AND wanting to "watch". I feel like if I say I'm aro ace they are just going to try to be ignorant,not believe me,or worse! Say they can "change" that (suggesting that by r*ping me the are going to change my mind). So,yeah,I CLEARLY prefer saying I'm a lesbian.
As a guy aro / ace, dudes literally try to pressure sex onto you and its not even funny. Like, they are acting like once I "do it" with someone, I will change my mind.. Like n o. . . And yet people treat it as if it doesn't exist. I cant say I'm gay either because, its implying I enjoy doing that kind of stuff with dudes. I don't really know what to tell people honestly.
@@KingOfNothingLR I feel this...people have trouble understanding asexuality and especially aromancy. But I guess the confusion is mutual, I can't really understand allos either since I have never felt what they feel. Still, forcing someone to change and pushing sex on them is insensitive and pointless.
god I felt this on a personal level. I identified as a trans man for a while just because a biphobic conversation made me scared to not stick within the binary in general... even though I *am* bi and nonbinary. Sometimes it feels a lot like damned if you do, damned if you don't. Having said that there's nothing wrong with trying to keep yourself safe, you know?
I remember being 13 in 2008, not knowing that I was a lesbian, and this song being played constantly on the radio. It made me feel so disgusting. I didn't even know why, like it just made me feel disgusted with myself. Not to be dramatic, but this song and the reaction to it did a LOT of damage to me when it comes to repressing my sexuality. It really made me aware of the culture of women using lesbians as "experimental games" and not actually taking us seriously. It hurts still.
I hate preformitive bisexuality. I hated drunk girls at party’s making out with other sloppy drunk girls for the benefit of gross jock guys it made me feel dirty in the same exact way.
Yeah, I had a similar experience except as a bi girl. I first heard it when I was 9 and like her, it was the first bisexual thing that actually stuck in my mind. But the song is all about how it's just a quirky little thing she did, nothing serious. That really stuck too. So for the longest time I hated myself so much because I thought I was just pretending because I wanted to feel special. That I was the worst kind of straight. For 8 years I never acted on it because I didn't want to be another reason bisexuals aren't taken seriously. So the song was really a double edged sword for me: it was literally my first exposure to homosexuality ever but also the first thing to plant that seed of internalized biphobia in my mind
"Oppression is not a Snuggie, we don't all fit into it!" is such a good response to the complexities of privilege within people and communities, I'm gonna hold onto that
Also about the STI thing-my first gyno asked if I had ever been with a bi person, and I said my girlfriend was bi, and the gyno INSISTED I needed tested for every STI right away. I told her I had been tested already and was fine. But gyno kept insisting that because I was dating a bi girl, I was at “high risk”… I was the first person my gf had ever dated or been intimant with, and I by contrast had had many girlfriends before her, but despite this /I/ was “at risk” /because of her/. Ridiculous
I always feel worried that I don't seem queer enough since my partner is a man, and I hate that. My identity as a bi badass shouldn't have to be proven
but why do you want everyone to know it so badly, like how is that gonna affect anything. i'm bi and tbh i don't really feel the need to tell anyone or really make it seem apparent, but i'd tell someone when the conversation is really going in that direction.
thank you. i've never really felt like i was part of the LGBT community, even though I"m literally The B part. It took me until now, in my 30's to realize that i never even took my own bisexuality seriously because of fetishization/erasure.
I don't understand why? The thing about "not every r*pe is about gender" sounds true to me. It's reasonable that a lawsuit for gender violence, with the only basis being a rape incidence, be dismissed here. Also: It isn't uncommon that rape cases fail because they can't be sufficiently proven. I'm not saying that Kesha is lying, but if she isn't able to prove that she was raped, then it is reasonable to dismiss the claim that he raped her (she could have lied about a rape incidence just to get out of the contract which would ruin his life. Maybe she lied, maybe he lied. We can't prove either and I'm a firm believer of innocent until proven guilty, so I think it was the right decision that her lawsuit didn't amount to anything.) Is this the ideal situation in the case that he actually raped her? Definitely not. But she couldn't prove any rape and therefore it was the correct decision.
@@neiotik No, that is not what I said. I just think that it is stupid to think that the ruling is infuriating, when you can't prove anything Ke$ha said and she could be the one lying. It is not fine to basically say that the guy isn't worth anything, because of an incident that maybe never happened. It is messed up to be upset that the guys carreer path is going smoothly, when he was ruled innocent.
@@neiotik No it isn't. It is what you want to hear me say. I am not responsible for your perception, only for my words. I do feel for the victims of rape and I also think that rapists should be punished heavier. *But* : It is never right to judge people prematurely and I also know people who are malicious enough to pretend that they were raped just to get back at someone. Therefore I don't appreciate the "guilty until proven innocent" - culture that is slowly building around the subject of rape and I also don't want people to lose faith in the judicial system, because this ruling was correct and I will defend that.
First time I heard that song was at a friend's pool party. I was ~12 I think. I remember thinking, "wait, did she say she kissed a *girl* ? She can do that?" Like it hadn't even occurred to me that that was an option before lol
I found the all the things she said mv in middle school and it made me cry. Since then I've donated many views to tatu though I am aware one of the girls is super homophobic and the way they were forced to do it at their age does make me uncomfy.
That section about "Where have all the lesbians gone" infuriates me on a personal level. I am a transgender man. I am not a lesbian. I have many, many friends who are lesbians. I'm not erasing them, and I won't erase myself in the process to become palatable. Yes, I'm bisexual too. Edit: I didn't just wake up one day and "choose to be a man". I am not hurting lesbians, because I was never a woman.
I never identified as a lesbian lol, for a long time I identified as a bisexual man and only recently I discovered that I am more straight than bi, so idk no lesbian ever went anywhere
exactly! i am a lesbian and the idea that lesbians are "being erased" is so frustrating to me. even if trans men coming out was causing a decrease in lesbians, there are plenty of trans lesbian women to offset that. if transphobes would just accept people as the gender they are, they'd see that.
As a person who identified as a lesbian for a long long time before realizing over a lot of agonizing that i was actually a trans man, quotes like that one have genuinely done me LOT of harm. Being told i was essentially failing my fellow lesbians by not actually identifying as one anymore is just... Not helpful yknow lol
The thing that gets me is that the only way these labels, gay and lesbian, will EVER go away is if we are no longer abused for our sexualities and allowed to like who we like without the need to organize behind it. As long as we are abused for our sexualities those words will always see use because there will always be a use for them: to organize behind for safety rights and joy. If we no longer need them then that is a sign that our highest goals have been met. From a contemporary perspective that scenario is damn near utopian but she's really out here MOURNING that hypothetical future all because people *might* not use that one word any more and some people these days feel like the labels don't describe their experiences and identities and that makes her feel sad😢. I don't know if people from her perspective have just been so sheltered from what the rest of us queers face that they have to make up issues in order to feel like they're going through a struggle while ignoring actual homophobia that does exist, or if they're just so traumatized that they can't even find it in themselves to fantasize about a post-bigotry world any more. But damn, either way it's exhausting. It serves absolutely no purpose to the gay and lesbian community and only exists to denigrate bi and trans people
hearing you talk about bisexuality and asexuality means a lot to me, because figured out and came out (to my small group of friends) as bi in 2009/2010ish (i dont feel like doing math rn) but as ive grown up ive realized that I'm also ace. they both feel right for me, and while ill happily say im biromantic asexual, i also will use bisexual and asexual and queer interchangeably, and depending on context. they're all me. i am bi, i am ace, i am queer, i am nonbinary, and i am disabled and these are so important to me
I'm a pansexual man that has mostly dated women. One major thing I deal with is that I often feel like I'm not queer enough to call myself queer, though I often feel that the label is something that gives me comfort. I really appreciate what youve presented here
I relate to this so hard. All my relationships have been with men. I've chased women but my feelings were not reciprocated. I try to be as big of a part of the lgbt community but I'll never be gay enough I guess.
@@jessijaneway5093 As a cishet Star Wars guy, this looks a lot like the Outer Rim vs Core Worlds conflict. The Republic was elitist to the center, and the OR wasn't having it.
i feel this so much! i’ve been dismissed by so many queer folks because i’m a cis bisexual woman who has mostly dated men. it’s frustrating that some people feel queerness is quantitative. you can’t measure someone’s identity by their number of partners from one gender or another? i hate that energy.
I cried hearing her acknowledge how society will label bi men as gay, and women (even bi women) will refuse to be with them. As a AMAB pan enby, this is a big problem I feel no one wants to talk about.
@@lunarmagpie619 I was already in a long term relationship with a cis het woman when I came out. It was hard easing her into it. Cis people, especially straights, have weird expectations.
@@lunarmagpie619 I fear that another would never want me, and resent that it bothers me, because I am validating the idea that their affection is somehow more special than ours. I feel shallow and hypocritical.
@@lunarmagpie619 on the one hand, this is definitely a trend. On the other hand, me noticing and holding it against them feels misogynistic and like internalized queerphobia. Like an incel imposter.
@@lefu87williford55 you’re definitely not misogynistic for noticing others’ biphobia/panphobia! It’s so easy to let the imposter syndrome in, I totally get that, and then you add in the zesty dash of systemic transphobia and it makes it a million times worse. I struggle with it too. You’re not alone, and you’re certainly not an incel for wanting all the parts of who you are to be respected.
ngl seeing LGBTQ+ folks come out and accept their truth is very cathartic when you're a cis male that grew up in a religious sect that shamed all forms of sexual expression. you folks have been through some real shit and hearing your stories and confessions helps me work through my own arbitrary shame. thanks alot to all of you
"I am bi because bisexual is the term that gave me the power to be me" is possibly the most resonant description I have EVER heard for keeping that label, because that is IT. I'm ALL FOR people identifying as pan if that's what suits them best, but bisexual IS the term that gave me that power so I don't want to let it go. I was already out (as bi, anyway) by the time KP dropped I Kissed A Girl, but even I can't deny that I've got a complicated relationship with this song for really, REALLY similar reasons. Really loved this!
Language is a living organism, changing in time and space, as a queer trans woman, I have never assumed that the term bisexual was trans exclusionary, but more of an individual thing. I'm a little older and my own experience is a little exclusionary, but I believe that is my personal problem and not some prescribed truth.
Nooo ur still valid!! Don't let anyone tell u otherwise. Just because ur married to a man doesn't mean ur not pansexual. Ur pansexual and that's valid 💗💛💙
As a non-binary pansexual person, it really makes me sad when I see a woman/man who likes more than the opposite gender and they think that when they date the opposite gender they aren’t as valid. You’re so fucking valid! if it’s a safe decision and you have a house, hang a pan flag outside your house to celebrate yourself. You could even buy gay clothes/accessories or wear gay makeup representing you! You’re valid and worthy 💖💛💙
I'm a bisexual guy who doesn't eat meat, drives an electric car and definitely does like boys... but even I would listen to that song in the car and sing along, though I definitely felt conflicted about it. That whole album was basically my soundtrack for like six months when I first got it. I definitely thought that I Kissed a Girl and You're So Gay wre both extrmely "problematic" and high key judged her for making them but goddamn were they catchy and I couldn't help myself. Katy Perry is my ultimate guilty pleasure.
"Guilty pleasure" WTF😭😭😭😭 I think is really unfair to not have Katy´s background in consideration as a "good Christian girl" that grew up in a very catholic and repressive house, also One of the boys concept bc IKAG is right after One of the boys (song) wich is about how she wanted to learn to be a girly girl, and she said IKAG is about the beauty of women. Ur so gay is right next to Mannequin and Hot n Cold songs in wich you can tell SHE WAS ANGRY jajaja As an F word myself I LOVE the openning verse from Ur so gay about jer***ing off while listening to Mozart, is just so savage jajaja Im literally getting that verse tattoed lol
@@sugar4155 having a repressed religious background doesnt excuse the horrible messages and stereotypes she perpetuated with both those songs, so yeah she os definitely a guilty pleasure, with heavy emphasis on guilty.
@@botanicalitus4194 Girl calm down she´s not Hitler. Obviously it doesn´t make it unproblematic but its not malicious, of course she´s gonna say " it felt so wrong it felt so right" she was told her entire life that it was wrong
I am almost 10 years older than you and that song always made me angry. I came out as bisexual to close friends shortly before it became "cool". There was a period of time in the early 2000s that all the girls said they were bi which predominantly translated to kissing their friends in front of boys to get their attention. Whether or not those girls were bisexual, it always felt gross that my sexuality that I had painfully struggled with became a party trick. That song always just reeked of that for me.
I'm the same age as Princess and I remember being really mad at I Kissed A Girl when it was released. At the time I was offended by "I hope my boyfriend won't mind it!" because it's not that it implies that the singer is bi, it's that it implies that she feels confident that he won't think it counts as any kind of cheating because, well, it's a girl so it doesn't count. I managed to avoid hearing the song very much, but it came on on our work mix a couple of days ago and nowadays I'm less bothered by "I hope my boyfriend won't mind it" than I am by "I don't even know her name" and "it's just an experimental phase" because both the lines basically say that it's not legitimate, and the only reason why it's fine for the narrator to kiss another girl is *because* it doesn't count. Also I feel bad for ms Cherry Chapstick in the song, because imagine the girl you were kissing going on about how it doesn't count and she doesn't even know you and it doesn't matter? Fucking rude
honestly it rlly does come off as that, thats why i prefer covers that actually make it about a gay awakening and not just "oh my god i kissed a girl how sCaNdALoUs"
Katy perry's upbringing was strictly catholic, I mean her parents kicked her out and didnt support her when she gave up christian music. Later katy perry was picked up by her label. When her father went to one of her concerts he cried and called her a devil child. Maybe those are the things which have affected her mindset a lot. She even said in her 2012 documentary that her anti gay upbringing affect her in terrible ways.
i love hayley so much and that song shook me to the core as a young queer person but i'm iffy about the song solely because of the "steal your girl" trope - i feel like it's still centering men somehow song bops tho i listen to it a lot lol
not sure if it's mentioned in the video yet, but this was 2008...the same year Britney released 'If You Seek Amy' which, while being a major finger to sexist media, she reclaimed her sexualized image for herself-to me, it always seemed playfully (not bait-ily) inclusive of bisexual and or lesbian interpretations. I mean, beyond the double entendre, the lyrics follow her looking for a woman at a party-a woman she finds attractive. One can read that the woman is *herself*, or it's a love interest, or it's the fake image society projected onto her....fascinating stuff.
Often I click on these kinda videos and feel kinda depressed at the end but this was such an amazing explanation and I’m feeling empowered because I’m still trying to figure myself out, I’m just wanting to say thank you.
The stigma around herpes was crazy for me, I got oral herpes(a cold sore) when I was five from a chapstick of a family friend. So for my entire life essentially I had a cold sore whenever I was stressed or run down, but once people started learning about herpes as young teenagers, it became something I was deeply ashamed of despite knowing I WAS 5 when I got it :/ needless to say idc anymore but still
I got it after drinking from the same glass as my mom when I was 10 rip, yall let me tell you, if you can avoid it don’t get a cold sore, it is a complete bitch
same except mine were inside my mouth. at first, i didn't think anything of them, having always had them, until kids started talking about mouth sores in relation to sexual promiscuity, and i was like, "wait, what??"
I heard the song is actually about her Ex, he was very narcissistic, hence, "You're so gay yet you don't even like boys" I mean still she said sung he should hang himself, and then queerbaited, so I'm not justifying her as a person, I'm just saying the song is misunderstood.
@@emmakise5182 I don't hate Katy perry in any capacity actually, her most recent album (Smile) is actually really calming and cool, 2000/2010's music was extremely problematic and I can understand how some miscommunications can lead to pieces of art being misconstrued. I still don't like the usage of 'gay' as a metaphor for whiney/insufferable men though. But, I don't in any way feel like Katy still supports this standpoint/message.
@@jhashfaghsdfsajdfjgsajgfas342 ohhh I see! Yeah reading your reply, I also don't think the use of gay was appropriate either, but I guess it's still better than her talking about an actually gay person. Of course, still problematic either way. People grow though, I'd think Katy has grown but I haven't really kept up with her.
the first time i heard the term bisexual was in a magazine article about lady gaga back in elementary school, but other kids thought that she was weird so i didn't particularly like her and paid article no mind. fast forward a couple of years later and i'm bi, casually out and an unapologetic lady gaga stan. i wish i realised earlier how wonderful she is as an artist and how impactful her career has been
i have almost the exact same story except that i was already a stan when i read the article and never stopped but it still took me years to figure out that was me too (bi) 😭
Lmao, I remember being so annoyed by this song but also being like “but it’s here and it’s about gay stuff so I’ll take it”. Thinking about how much we had to go through in the aughts makes me so glad we can have a variety of out artists who make art about being queer now.
I think for me its yhe lack of “normal” representation of being gay in these older songs.... like everything was so overtly sexualized and not shown in a way to give a real look at being bisexual/gay/etc.
@@micahcook2408 so many references that were shocking in the 60s for example- like Little Richard or The Beatles throwing in the gender reversal in Obli di Obli da supposedly by accident would be seen as non-binary now.
I realized I was bi because I realized I was asexual. Realizing I was asexual made me realize that that attraction to guys I was waiting for might never come, and that opened up my mind to realize I had been romantically attracted to girls before but had thought it was a squish each time because I didn't feel actually attracted to them (which I didn't for men either, but I expected to be attracted to boys eventually)
Yo that quote about how bisexuality being co-opted into the male gaze gave me some good language to vocalize my issues with how women and especially young girls are portrayed in anime. Will keep that in mind, thanks!
My problematic transman awakening song was The Man by the killers, cause its meant to be a critique of toxic masculinity and male culture, but the whole time I was like "oh to be a hot successful man.." followed a couple seconds later by "oh shit"
I wish trans men when theyd say "i could do so much better" Also meant they wouldn't rape people. Im not sure how "raping me to switch positions" works persay, and is how "theyll do so much better"
I Kissed A Girl was so addictive for me as a 12 year old gay. Had that shit on repeat. Also seems to me at the time Katy did not like to reveal her actual bisexuality. Maybe scared her career would go south? But few years ago she did say she did more than “kiss girls” in a gay awards acceptance speech. The song is about bicuriosity. Perfect song to get people talking and start a conversation for changes to be made in social views.
gosh, tht was like the og 2000s gay bait song. I was a kid, but I loved it then, and had a huge fondness for the song throughout my life- but esp in college...huge tAtu re-up for me
I remember vividly finding the lyrics of the song and struggling to understand them with my minimal knowledge of English (before Google translate was a thing!). I am feeling such a gay nostalgia now!
Lady Gaga was absolutely my bisexual awakening, oh my god. I remember watching the Paparazzi video and having Thoughts and Feelings about it. Such an icon.
OH MY GOD the memories this is bringing up. I recently realized I was bi and since it has just been a constant flood of repressed memories. I definitely felt A Certain Way about Paparazzi as a young kid 🤭
As a Lesbian, I am so sorry. I apologize for the Lesbians who made any Bi-sexual feel invalid, or unworthy, or anything like that. You guys are all beautiful, and wonderful people. I also apologize to any Absolutely LOVELY trans women who felt unworthy or invalidated by a lesbian. You are all so beautiful, and I love you all, and I am so sorry
@@astolat2262 I know, but sometimes I just feel like there are too many Lesbians who give us a bad name, and I feel the need to apologize for them. WE DON'T CLAIM THEM.
Funny story, me and my bff were both in the Mormon church and every summer aged 12-17 we went to the church's Girl Camp. One year my friend kept singing this song about kissing a girl, and I (who hadn't heard the song yet) was like "should you be singing that??" (Later when I actually heard it I had to admit it was catchy) Fast forward after HS and my friend comes out as a lesbian (though later she was dating a guy, so maybe she is bi) and I was like "huh.. That actually makes sense." Fast forward a few more years, I realize I am asexual, and now to present day where I am finally starting to realize/accept I might actually like girls, aesthetically and possibly romantically.
I'm a minute in but just want to share my personal experience with the existence of this song. It was everywhere, I wasn't in the closet yet because attraction hadn't happened yet. However, the moment my mother criticized the song on the phone to her friend saying it was disgusting and left nothing to the imagination "ah she even told us how the kiss tasted, that is vulgar"... At that very moment, I felt a particular type of defensiveness, my mother saying these things within earshot triggered my realization that I am a lesbian, I was in the closet for 13 years because my mother just had to tell someone that a woman kissing another woman was the worst thing she has ever heard.
I also remember the summer this song was playing all the time. I was a 14 yo confused teenager who had no idea what attraction was, and I remember the rumors of girls kissing and the implications that they were doing it to get attention from boys. Which ofc I didn’t get, because why would you want attention from boys lol. It would be almost 8 years before I met anyone who treated and talked about female bisexuality or even lesbians as valid.
absolutely lived for the discussion of ace issues in this video. its rlly fucking true that our hypersexual society makes figuring out where you fit super difficult. Its hard to even know what you want from relationships because media/people around you have such a singular idea of what a romantic relationship is.
when I listened to the "ur so gay" song when I was younger I didn't know English well bc it's not my 1st language and I remember being super excited about a song with "gay" in the title because I thought it was a positive thing and I didn't see official gay stuff anywhere... oh how hard the homophobia of it hit me once I knew English well enough to understand the lyrics.....
As a cis white bi girl who grew up in the south, I was told bi meant confused since I could pass for straight by dating boys I did. And you could argue that I didn't have to do much to "fit in". Its not something that I ever got to explore until I was 18 or 19
It's crazy because as a BISEXUAL TRANS MAN, I still somehow managed to retain biphobia regarding my own partners. I didn't even realize until I got with my now fiance. He's bisexual homoromantic, and that fact DESTROYED me during the beginnings of our relationship because it made me dysphoric. My boyfriend.... existing as a bisexual man..... made me dysphoric and paranoid..... despite the fact that I am also a bisexual man......
Bud, I feel you! And idk, I think there's a difference between internalised biphobia vs feeling reassured/validated by having a monosexual partner whose orientation aligns with our identity Like, I'm also a bi trans man, have dated mainly other bisexuals but at times felt extra validated by attention from gay men / hetero women. Have worked hard on relying less on external validation and feel better for it, buuut also it's a very human need so be kind to yourself!
I think Rachel Bloom's song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 'Feelin Kinda Naughty' perfectly captures the absurdity of I Kissed a Girl. It spoofs the music video and the notion that these girl crushes are always "innocent" so amazingly. I really recommend it.
Crazy Ex Girlfriend is just such a good show all around. It is a very real and raw story about mental health struggles. And it has such good bisexual representation. All of the bi characters are so unashamedly bi. They don’t dance around word, they use it loud and proud. There’s an entire freaking song about being bi.
Can we just think about how much Lady GaGa has done for us baby bisexuals back in the day... hope everyone who reads this has a great day and feels loved tonight ❤️ P.S. Also, as a Russian bisexual gal, I have to say that Tatu is the level of legendary few artists can measure up to
Do you remember when the OIympics were held in Moscow a few years ago and during the opening ceremonies, they actually played some TATU (Nas Ne Dogonjat, IIRC) during the exact time period that Putin was abusing homosexuals across the country? That was fucked up.
Tatu had some of the favourite songs of my mom, we've listened to it quite a bit. I've heard some stories about the youth of my mom and although she never really labelled herself I would assume she falls somewhere on the bispectrum. She also grew up in one of the russian occupied countries which were never really accepting about these kind of things but that never really bothered her. And tatu just radiates 'iconic'~
35:09 oh my god, you just totally nailed why I felt so out of place when I was in high school. My friend group was really into doing personality test things like Myers Briggs and the ennegram stuff, and of course the Kinsey scale fit into this, but like EVERY time I did it, I'd get the "you do not fit on the scale" result. It's weird to be the kind of queer that feels flickering attraction to either gender, but overall only feels a really strong attraction to those I feel emotionally intimate with. And because this kind of attraction can't have a very succinct label put on it, I just shrug and say, "Yeah, I guess I'm a demi bisexual" but even that doesn't feel quite right. Part of why it doesn't feel right is because of how it feels so "tumblr", and my ex best friend straight up told me that she doesn't think demi or asexuality are real/legitimate sexualities and would constantly try to contradict how I would feel attracted to others. She saw me as being illogical, or silly, and because she had FAR more experience with relationships than me, I kind of took her word for it (though I did tell her that she crossed a line in dismissing how I felt, or did not feel, attracted to others). I'm still not comfortable with any label other than 'queer' because of how these labels present a "need" for a particular definition and rationale/proof, even if it's something that defies categorization (fuck western science for doing this to us).
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Demisexual solidarity👊🏾! I sometimes wanted to throw shit at my friends because I wasn't set for maximum thirst. Your friends will eventually get it and if they're still dismissive after several conversations, well life is short don't waste time explaining yourself. Have fun with a new friend group
@@mzgreenjeansapproves Yes! 👊 Honestly, I think I was able to slide by because I would have serial "crushes", but all of these crushes were MUCH more founded on feeling a sense of kinship or "I See You", but if someone made it explicitly/primarily sexual I'd be verrrrry uncomfortable.
Ugh I remember thinking that I wasn't l bisexual, I was just appreciating women's aesthetics... I never got into Katy Perry, I was all wannabe-emo at the time so was super into Paramore. I remember rolling my eyes at I kissed a girl thinking it was an attention grab. I stupidly internalised those feelings and once I did realise I was bi, I did the whole "maybe I'm just straight" "maybe I'm just gay" for way longer than I should. Fantastic video, as per usual ❤️
That's so funny to hear because Katy Perry got a big bump from the emo/scene community in her early days. I saw her live at Warped Tour in 2008 and she even sang this song and she was big with the kind of crowd that was into 3OH!3 and other less screamy, neon colored scene adjacent music
Goin' thru that at the moment with dudes. Just watched Anthony Mackie on the Late Show and was like "Damn, he's handsome." ...still just can't wrap my head around actually _doing_ "things" with men, tho; beyond hugging and light groping, anything else is uncomfortable. _Might_ be heterosexual/biromantic...haven't figured it yet.
I'm just wondering, when did you know you were bisexual ? I'm 22 and I'm still confused, because although I haven't been sexually/romantically attracted to any women I know, I feel like I'm close to identifying as bisexual. But then again I might just subconsciously want to be part of the community. But also I've only been romantically attracted to men twice and only since I was 19 so I don't know. When will I know if I'm really straight ?
As someone who adored t.A.T.u I was heartbroken when I realized Julia is homophobic. The song Malchik gay is a homophobic song that is to the same degree as "ur so gay" where the song is a girl who is mad the man is gay so lashes out
*They* aren't. Yulia is. Which is ironic, considering she's actually bi, and has stated that if she had a gay daughter, she wouldn't care. She said that if she had a gay son, she'd disown him, and that she hates gay and bi men, which, considering what I just wrote, is astonishingly, almost unbelievably hypocritical
@@technobabble123 I'm happy Katina doesn't hold the same view points, when Yulia first came out saying that the media outlet i read it from tried to claim it was both of them stating it, thank you so much for the fact checking.
6:36 YES! This was me! When I turned 25, I came out to myself that I was bisexual when I realised that I had been crushing on one of my female best friends for YEARS... I do remember moments where I thought I was being perverted or gross for even finding other women attractive... I forced myself to deny those feelings for a long time, even hating other female-female couples... I was miserable and spiteful at that time and I didn’t feel fully liberated until I told myself that it is okay and valid to find women attractive just as much as you find men attractive! Now I’ve gone from disliking same-sex couples because of internalised biphobia/homophobia to wishing I also could have a healthy and wonderful relationship with wether it be a man, or woman or someone who’s outside the gender norms!
0:00 Intro
2:14 Part One: "The Song"
2:55 TW "Ur So Gay"
3:30 End of "Ur So Gay"
8:53 TW Kesha/Dr Luke Lawsuit
11:36 End Kesha
12:05 Part Two: "Bisexuality in Pop Music"
25:38 Part Three: "Biphobia and Friends"
39:54 Conclusion
Thank fucking god you mentioned that women refuse to date bi men. I can't find any videos talking about this from bi men, and this is the most I have heard a bi woman say about it.
Wait wait wait. YOU were AmaterasuTao?!! Oh my god I just got forcefully thrown back into middle school memories
"Opression is not a snuggie!" I need that on a pin or t-shirt. Also, THANK YOU for mentioning Aces in your discussion of LGBTQ+ communities. As an Ace woman who wanted to watch this video mainly in support of her Bi sister, that was a really pleasant surprise
Is there any chance you can give links to buy those fabulous art pieces behind you? Or can you at least tell me who made them? Oh and I’m trying to figure out who that is in the piece right behind your head, is that Starfire?
Thank you for putting up timestamps, it took me months figure out how the chapters feature worked so I'm sure there are people who really needed this 🌈
Edit: the rainbow was an accident but I'm keeping it in lol
“The thing with bi-phobia is.. it comes at you from 2 sides.”
Ahhh.. the i r o n y
Oh no-
Well, I guess it's ironic, but it's also just cause and effect, unfortunately. :/ Bi people share a characteristic with two larger groups, so exclusion and gatekeeping are a problem in both of those groups. Sigh.....
@@Radien That made me think of Bronies. Part anime, part furry, not accepted by either.
the irony is that it's the same for lesbophobia, comes from places where you'd expect acceptance
@@user-jn1wm3tb8v Not an anime, though. Just simply a cartoon, since it didn't originate in Japan.
My strongest memory of this song is when I was like 7 or 8, my family went to the pool and the song came on. It was super catchy and I started to sing a long. My mom then grabbed my wrist and told me to never sing that song again cause girls don’t kiss girls... and now I’m a lesbian 👁👄👁
What a twist
You should brush that chip off your shoulder, it doesn't match your colors.
@@iBloodxHunter
Thanks for telling. I never liked doritos
Oop lol
Red velvet stan lesbian I see😌✨
As an ace person, it was a really nice surprise to hear mention of asexuality since it feels like we're usually left out of these conversations and discourse. I know it's not the main point of this video but I still really appreciate it.
Yes, specially being in a video about bisexuality. I spent most of my teenager years thinking I was probably bisexual bcs I felt the same way about girls than I did about boys and didn't know assexuality was a thing, and maybe somebody seeing it also didn't know it was possible and now they do.
@@juliaabreus yeah honestly I think I went through every possible label in my 20 years of living (though mostly comp het) before settling on "probably aro/ace" around a year ago. The idea didn't even enter my mind until my friend's ex kind of came out and I did a little research on it. Honestly the awarness and understanding of asextuality is just bad amongst the general public so I wouldn't be surprised if many more people were struggling in the same way.
same!!!!!
same !! gave me a jolt in the same way hearing your own name mentioned in a video would. was kind of refreshing to hear in a conversation like this
@@gazingatsaturn same lmao I always kinda get a jolt whenever I'm watching a video and they mention asexuality like, "Ooh this doesn't happen much let's see what they'll sayyyy"
Wow, can't believe that you and that outfit invented bisexuality
We will never truly be grateful enough.
Right! Can we talk about the ensemble? Amazeballs.
U ain't wrong
Right?
What? Bisexuality exists now? Good job, guys! You are now valid!
I wanted to apologize for calling Janelle Monae a woman, they are non-binary! Thank you to those who reminded me to be aware of my language concerning non-binary folks. I'll make sure to take care in the future xx P
Well, they've told us they were an advanced form of cybernetic life beyond our binary understanding in two albums after all. lol
(Note: I am not implying that NB people are robots this is a joke y'all are great feeling thinking human beings!)
I didn't know they identified as such, so I appreciate the knowledge!
@@grandsome1 ahah, yes, we are definitely not cybernetic robots. please continue to spread the word that we enby's are normal meat people, for this is correct. beep boop
Janelle hasn't given out specific pronouns, just so ppl know. I definitely was using them before I found out
@@aquaintsound On her twitter she has her pronouns as they/them and she/her.
"Figuring out who you are in a hypersexualized world is very difficult and we do not give people room to safely do that." That line hit me really hard and thank you for saying it.
I kissed a girl is more a song about "I kissed a girl but now I'm gonna walk it back in all verses by explaining how I have a BF and i'm totally not gay!" than gay acceptance or finding your sexuality
It can be bicuriousity, when straight want to try something different but are still straight
Helped my sister-in-law accept she was bisexual; long story on that one 🙄
I liked that song from 2003 it really should have clued me in to being Pan, that and Sarah in Labyrinth.
I hate that line because it says "I hope my boyfriend dont mind it" which is furthering the stereotype that bisexuals will cheat
@@windcrystal1349 how would you know? Did she tell you?
someone changing their sexuality or gender isn't a "loss" to the group they used to be a part of, it's them finding out who they were all along!
this !!
literally that was such a terf take kinda sad she didnt like. Call it out
Yea I thought I was bi, I’m super grateful that my parents gave me room to sit and think about everything before I came out as a lesbian. Surprisingly my 50 yr old parents who was told that gay is a sin was more accepting and understanding of my sexuality than my own sister lol
@@renny489 its the same with me and my family! my mom does what she can to support me and understand my sexuality/gender identity and just be more open and accepting in general...meanwhile my brothers a ben shapiro stan
so before i figured out that i am like. a man. i used to identify as a lesbian. and i used to be pretty open about it before the terfs attacked me and started misgendering me by saying "we just lost another lesbian" and like😃😃 thank you for making me feel like my identity isn't valid
The fact that you're dating an ace woman gives me so much hope because I identify as an ace lesbian and always worry that no woman will ever love me because I'm ace it fills me with reassurance to see an allosexual woman in a fulfilling and loving relationship with an ace woman...
i feel that. I'm biromantic ace, but I still struggle with the ace label because my sexuality has changed throughout my life, and I absolutely struggle with relationships, because sex is such a huge part of them, and it becomes such a problem to navigate that within a relationship when you're ace. Like I don't really even bother dating anymore because of the sexual expectations of dating and relationships, and while I'm happy with myself and I love myself, it's still lonely sometimes and I wonder if I"ll ever find someone where it will WORK. So it's like super fulfilling to see someone being in a relationship with someone ace. definitely gives me hope.
Fun fact: Back in the days ace lesbians had the nickname Bambi’s.
@@alexraven805 awww! That's so hecking cute! Omg!
yo! lesbian asexual here! is totes possible to have a relationship, a loving, understanding and serious relationship. 💕💕
going on two years now!!!
@@beesinatrenchcoat-mu8xv congratulations! That sounds amazing!
People: "being bi is transphobic!"
Me, a bisexual transwoman: "huh?"
I still don't get why some people would believe that. As a bisexual person, I feel like the term is more discriminatory against trans people who aren't mtf/ftm (non-binary, agender, etc), since bi means two in greek and doesn't include more genders. Trans women are women and trans men are men, they aren't a third gender.
@@minale3604 Read the Bisexual Manifesto.
@@minale3604 bisexual doesn't just mean two genders uh..............
@@jismislakhotia3564 from what I've seen in the manifesto, the bi part refers to a sort of binary spectrum, so my mistake
@@jismislakhotia3564 it does
"The year was 2008. I thought I was still heterosexual and believed I was going to marry Alan Rickman."
Me, sweating profusely wondering how Princess got a hold of my diary.
The ultimate dream being a bisexual polycule involving Alan Rickman.
As a straight guy, I just don't understand why women are attracted to men.
@@nowhereman6019 an attraction to Alan Rickman transcended attraction to a specific gender.
Pfff saaaame
yeah that line was the oddly specific relatable cherry, on the top of an already extremely relatable video
"No label should only be defined by its worst players." I love that so much. We need to hear that more often.
That video of Lady Gaga screaming “Arrest ME, Moscow!!!” at her concert in Russia gave me LIFE
AGREED
and the interview where the guy asked her a creepy ass question about if she had a penis, and where she pretty much said "so what if i do, who gives a shit?"
Gaga is such an icon
@@ericmememan4632 best one I've heard from her is "It's just a little bit of a penis"
Eh. She had a chance to speak out against the Tr*mp administration when she performed at the Super Bowl halftime, and she didn't, leaving many moderates that claim to be "leftists" and conservatives to breathe a sigh of relief for her being "tasteful" and "respectful". She had a chance to do something radical and positive, but she squandered it so she wouldn't cause a ruckus.
Bi or not, she's rather performative when she wants to be. 🤷🏻♀️
For me, this song was the equivalent of a prisoner munching on moldy bread because it was all they had to eat. Nowadays there are so many gay female/bisexual artists for younger people to listen to, and that's a wonderful development.
I never got into it because it just felt like a knock off of the same some by Jill Sobule
Got any recommendations? ;)
@@andynonymous6769 phoebe bridgers supremacy
*cough cough* girl in red *cough cough*
@@andynonymous6769 marika hackman, the japanese house, angel olsen, courtney barnett, soccer mommy, phoebe bridgers, japanese breakfast, julien baker, st vincent and lucy dacus are some of my favourite of many wlw artists! :D i could go on and on
As a lesbian I truly do not get how people discovering their true selves is seen as "lesbians disappearing," like we lesbians took time to figure ourselves out too! I personally applaud anyone who formerly identified as lesbian but figured out they're not - it's awesome that you're finding your true, authentic self, just as I formerly identified as demi-het, bi, and pan
"Bisexual is the term that gave me power to be me"
girl, what a powerful sentence. i feel this with being asexual.
Ayyy asexual palss
Same to me! It give me a sensation of freedom when I discovered my asexuallity and even more when I discovered my Aromanticity
Same! I’m still feeling out the romantic attraction side. It feels fluid between Biromantic, Lesbian romantic, or Aro. Living as a hermit is not helping currently. I identified as Bi for a period of time because my sexual attraction was the same for all genders 0 = 0 lol
At first, I thought you meant that the term "bisexual" literally gave you super Saiyan powers.
@@Naa45702 man I am in the exact same boat. like word for word.
Not "the north remembers" I cannot LOL
💓💓 btw your work is phenomenal
Yes love to see the support ❤❤
@@Princess_Weekes queens supporting queens 👏👏👏
AAAHHHHH KHADIJA!!!!!!! I love seeing you supporting other Black youtubers!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD Edit: you don't need to watch only Black people. I don't know if I came across as offensive or anything. Support who you want regardless of race. It's just nice to see. :)
@@awesomedude5558 you're ok I dont think anyone watching this would find that offensive lol
I don't know why UA-cam recommended this to me even though I'm a straight cis guy who barely interacts with LGBTQ type content, but I'm honestly glad it did. I appreciated the way you criticized 2000s culture for using bisexual women and lesbians as eye candy for sleazy guys. It just resonated with me and I guess justified my problems with guys who fetishize lesbians. Also discussing how media's changing view of sexuality outside of heterosexual relationships makes me glad how we as a society are actually giving LGBTQ a fair shake. Sorry, if this was a little too long and rant-ish, I just really wanted to just tell someone how this video gave me a really nice epiphany.
P.S.: Somebody already mentioned this in the comments but the "finding yourself in a hypersexualised world" statement was really well spoken.
Well said sir!
Hearing the statements made dismissing Kesha's lawsuit always makes my blood boil. The part I don't get is why a private text message to a friend is considered defamatory. Is she just not allowed to tell anyone that she was assaulted unless she can 100% prove it? That's ridiculous.
A defamatory statement is a false statement of fact that exposes a person to hatred, ridicule, causes them to be shunned, or injures them in their business or trade.
She might want to label Katy Perry as a friend, but in a legal sense she's someone they're both involved with professionally. Personally I believe her, but there's no getting around that her case was really weak.
@@esbenm6544 so as per usual, all of the bleeding hearts are greedy fakes.🙄
@@esbenm6544 the text was to Lady Gaga do you not listen
Its called silencing victims...
@@esbenm6544 calling someone not suffering "enough"-whatever that means- having a weak case.. u can see urself out.
"I wasn't GAY! I just thought woman were.. beautiful! and cool!" Okay you didn't have to be THAT relatable.
@@Sangsty I've recently come to learn that I'm biromantic, Demisexual. I'm super happy you found what fits for you!
@@bridgetphelan4742 Cool, I’m biromantic asexual
Yes I was absolutely in LOVE with this woman called Abby from a tv show when I was little but since lesbians were always portrayed as sluts so I was like NOOOO IM NOT GAAAYYYY I JUST LIKE WOMEEENNNNN
People continuously calling lady gaga an "ally" is gonna be the death of me I swear 😑😆
2000s baby bis thought we were so slick.
"I just think I Kissed a Girl is catchy. 😊"
"Oh no I'm reading Strawberry Panic because I like the plot, I just skip over the scenes of them kissing. 🤭"
"Megan Fox? I guess she's okay. 🤗"
Delusion.
How dare you give me strawberry panic flashbacks my tiny bisexual heart just stopped
So Strawberry Panic was the awakening for many of us huh
Oh my god, Strawberry Panic 😩
I'm loving all these replies, the bi collective unconscious. I know we all read it for "the story" but I literally could not tell you a single plot point.
I feel that in my soul. Couldn't tell you any thing about Maria-sama ga Miteru and yet child me watched it twice
"It felt so wrong, it felt so right" is such a great way to describe awakening queerness when you've grown up feeling shameful all the time.
Hmm...new reading of the similar line from OneRepublic's "Catching Stars" then!
@@christopherb501 ...oooooooh you’re right
Yeah, when you finally have a romantic moment with someone of the same sex after denying yourself that for years, its scary, exciting, and euphoric
Thanks for talking about ace exclusionary rhetoric in lgbt spaces. I first identified as asexual in 9th grade as a self deprecating joke after being continuously teased my entire life for not ever having an answer to the “who do you like” question. I had no idea it was a real sexual identity until five years later. I knew I didn’t work the same as my friends when it came to things like “crushes” from a very young age. Finding a name for it didn’t change who I was. I’d also love to see an exploration of how inaccessible queer spaces are to disabled people. Along with straight up ablism, there is also very little effort into making spaces accessible and just sort of a mild discomfort with the idea of disabled people having a sexual perspective. Also I know this is dumb, but I don’t think I have ever found a way to participate in Pride in my wheelchair. No one even considers us.
I don't think that's dumb at all, you bring up a serious problem. Ablism and accessibility are a huge issue and it is important that people talk about it, I would love a video on that too. Pride should always be wheelchair accessible! As someone who doesn't use a mobility device, but can only stand for a limited amount of time (circulatory system problems) I find myself really taking a good look at how our society is designed for only those with full motor capabilities. It is infuriating and I have a hard time talking about it to people because I "look fine".
Lmao I remember my "I thought I was heterosexual" phase....I even managed to have a full scale crush on a girl but noooo, my mind was like "this is TOTALLY platonic, so what that my heart skips a beat when she looks at me, I just wanna be FRIENDS obvs??" I'm so mad at heteronormative society for letting me believe this for as long as I did.
Not me reading this and suddenly remembering this girl that I sat next to in history class and now that I think ab it I had a FAT crush on her. She was so cool and pretty and I literally blushed every time she talked to me. Lmao I was totally obsessed with her and she just wanted to copy my work
never forget my I think I'm bi phase. dated my trans friend thinking I had a crush on her, turns out I just thought she was cool because she was deviantart "famous" 😅
Looking back I can see I was kind of in love with 2 of my best friends and I’m so sad I couldn’t get the courage to ever tell them even though I remember being nervous and wanting to tell them several times and even now I want to and I miss them. Society and my school and how everyone treated anyone who wasn’t straight and my own worries about rejection or ruining the friendships and being scared of my family’s reaction just stopped me. I still haven’t told them or come out to anyone I know but I wish I could, it’s so sad that we live in this kind of a world. I’m happy things are slowly getting better but I wish it was a more accepting place and I feel for everyone who has been through worse pain and situations than myself due to this prejudice and discrimination we have to face every day which makes us feel like we have to live a lie and can’t be ourselves or just love who we love. Things are getting better and will get better! We have to keep pushing for a brighter future. Thank you to the creator of this video for educating people and spreading such good messages in your video!
@@4swordsluver yeah, I came out a bi before coming out a few years later as a lesbian. Lmao.
I absolutly had this phase when I was around 16 and it took nearly eight years, a really deep crush on another female friend and more than whole year of "questioning" until I finally embraced my bisexuality. And even then I didn't feel like I could out myself because I hadn't any "real experience" with women or non-men in general besides kissing. It's so fucked up.
Obsessed with the “if you’re hetero...and there’s nothing WRONG with that” vibes
Some of my best friends are straight!
I’m fine with straight people, I just don’t want my cats to learn from them.
sorry to burst your bubbles guys.... straight people are against my religion so i don't accept them. yall brainwashed by the straighties 🥱
@@dokadnietak7708 are you in a gay cult or something?
@@galaxyin6663 it's an ironic joke
Girl, the “where have the lesbians gone” article. I’m bi and dating a nonbinary lesbian and I just. That article felt so small-brained to me
The article had heavy terf undertones
yeah like
lesbians are only "disappearing" if you're exluding trans and nonbinary lesbians
or if you act like bi, pan, etc women are somehow inferior wlw - some lesbians (mostly older cis lesbians, not to generalize) refuse to date mspec women for whatever reason
@@mammoneymelon but bi/pan/queer women literally aren't lesbians?? so those women existing has nothing to do with whether or not lesbians are "disappearing"?? i don't understand why you brought that up?
@@rachelmp2401 i mean, some lesbians do consider bisexual women to be part of our community. it wasn’t always this way and lesbian used to be synonymous with sapphic before in-group fighting happened snd some lesbians today don’t agree with that exclusion (myself included)
lmao I really hate how so many of us had to grow up hearing artists, family members and friends straight-ifying girl on girl actions. Mfs really had me thiking that I was straight even after being obviously attracted to girls sexually ad romantically. Clown business 😭
SAME😭
I felt the same way! And many girls were so much more touchy than the boys (grabbing hands, hugging, sitting close). I never felt comfortable doing that to other girls, because I didn't want to creep them out (like a boy hugging a girl, or grabbing her hand). I was trying to be respectful. And I was worried they would know I liked girls.
All sorts of backwards thoughts the heteronormative society put into my head.
oh my god same here and like @marleybarley says it didn't help that so many girls were openly touchy and I too was too uncomfortable doing that with other girls because I wanted to respect boundaries and didn't want to get outed.
yeah the feels
LMAO
"If you like Sailor Moon there's 60-40 chance you're bisexual."
Me who identifies as straight but has been wondering/questioning for a while: "Oh, I see."
I wish liking sailor moon could MAKE me bi...
@@Stonehawk I mean, if you wish you were bi you probably are? It sounds like saying I wish I liked to eat strawberries because I want to eat strawberries.
Sorry for you to find out this way. We just all thought you should find out before it's too late.
@@ameliagryffon7097 @Amelia Gryffon Eh, I think there's probably something that could be considered very 'convenient' about the *concept* of bisexuality in that it opens up more options that could lead someone to consider it preferable to their current situation. A sort of ultimate 'grass is always greener' statement.
@@werewolf4358 Oh okay
I was literally told so many times that this song was really inappropriate and i couldnt listen to it, but you know Blurred lines, a song about r@pe culture was completely fine for my young ears
Blurred lines was so terrible ugh:(
"I'm bi, because bisexual is the term that gave me power to be me" 😭😭✊
Love this! This is why I hate it when people invalidate other mspec labels because bi exists and we should all just have that as our label. Some of us feel comfortable being referred to as bi in addition to our other mspec identities and some of us don’t. But the key thing is that some mspec label that is not bi gives other people the same power to be themselves that you got from the bi label. Instead of forcing us to identify as whatever makes someone else feel powerful, we should be allowed to feel that for ourselves.
I'll take "sentences that hit like an 18-wheeler" for $400, Alex
Yes! I still feel some anxiety around this because I've seen a bunch of definitions of bisexual vs. pansexual and I don't want to use a label that gives the wrong impression... I'm glad the latter seems to be coalescing around "attraction regardless of gender" because I know that DOESN'T fit. My attraction to different genders feels different, and I have multiple distinct "types". But it has nothing to do with whether someone is trans or not!
YES THIS
@@PirateQueen1720 bisexuality has always been attraction to all genders/regardless of gender, explicitly including trans and non binary people, and every attempt to change that came from non-bisexuals. Verilybitchie makes a lot of well researched videos on the history of bisexuality which I'd highly recommend.
I've always taken issue with the idea that Bi immediately means someone is Transphobic because, like, Trans women are women and Trans men are men so.... it basically just feels very TERF-ish when people accuse Bisexuality of being Trans-exclusive (not to mention that there are lots of Bisexual Trans people, like, they do exist! 😂) -- P
As a transbian, I've met very few cis bisexuals that were not trans-exclusive.
YES I'm a bisexual trans man and I've had so many cis people online tell me I have to ID as pan because I'm trans and it's so annoying...I'm a nonbinary man but I'm not a third option on the sexual ballot. I don't have anything against pansexual as a term, but the term bisexual has ALWAYS included us and I have an inherent distrust of cis pansexuals because of that attitude :/
@@vvviridian hard same. I've honestly, as a bi non binary person, never met a pansexual who hasn't either fetishised my non binary transness, been biphobic (either saying we can't include trans and non binary people or saying we're all genital obsessed etc), or been transphobic in their complete othering of trans people. It's sad but at the same time that's literally where the term comes from (it was first used as a sexuality label by trans chasers) so it's not really surprising.
It's so weird because the bi and trans community were basically the same thing for a long time. Bisexuality has always been explicitly trans inclusive. Verity Richie has a really well researched video about it ua-cam.com/video/7-e8C80VEfY/v-deo.html
@@Brynwyn123 yeah, that's rough. Personally, most of the pan people I've known are just intent on making me understand that they're more open than me because they identify and pan and I identify as bi. Then when I say that my bi-ness is not trans or nb exclusive and the label doesn't mean that much to me, so they can call me pan, bi or omni if they way to. I just go by bi because learning that term was so freeing for me, and historically it's been inclusive, so I don't worry about it. Then they brush me off as if I'm lying. I'm sure that's not universal, but that's been my experience.
I appreciate you talking about the connection between acephobia and biphobia. They're incredibly interwoven in terms of being dismissed as "performative" and excluded for being either secret hets or fake gays/lesbians in the closet. So thank you.
Oh hell yeah right? The Discourse was ripe on tumblr for years and I learned all about how Ace Discourse was just Bi Discourse repackaged
Worth noting that Katy Perry later changed her story and said that she had "done more than" kiss girls and had tried to "pray the gay away" in her Christian youth. She didn't identify as queer but it sounds like they're might've been more genuine experience than she acknowledged at the time.
We all know she had something with Rihanna 🥴😏 There are theorys saying that Small Talk s about her jajajadjksvjaf
Yes I remember reading that!!
@@sugar4155 Anyone else wish that her cameo in the "You Need to Calm Down" had involved her and Swift at least sharing a peck?
@@christopherb501 I wish the cameo had involved Taylor actually apologizing to Katy...
Like really wtf was the Bad Blood video
@@sugar4155 that would’ve weird since it wouldve been obviously scripted and not the actual apology.
As a 72-yo woman I initially thought I wouldn't have any reason to comment on this video, as excellent as it was, because I've never been particularly cued into pop music, even when I was younger. I was always more of a movie fan and it occurred to me that my preferences in movies, actors, and roles probably factored into my identity, which is complicated. I always loved movies that were old even when I was young (many of them had dinosaurs in non-speaking roles) and I realized that i was drawn to androgynous actors, costumes, and roles. One of my favorite old films is Queen Christina starring Greta Garbo butching it up as the medieval queen of Sweden, and yes, she kisses a girl on the mouth! I loved seeing Marlene Dietrich in a tux. I love movie musicals and those with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are special favorites of mine. I always loved when they contrived to have Ginger dance in trousers, my favorite being the number "Isn't This a Lovely Day" from Top Hat. My identity evolved from cis het to lesbian to bisexual to asexual aromantic non-binary feminine/androgynous presenting woman. Like I said, it's complicated. Thanks for the video!
This comment made me really happy (:
You rock madam, live your truth.
@@sashawallace1916 Thanks, I appreciate the support!
@@sponge7184 Thanks, I'm glad!
respect! i hope you have a great day
Honestly, this video was very moving to me. As a married 29- year-old cis woman (married to a man), I'm just now coming around to my bisexuality. As I was growing up, I had same-sex sexual dreams and would often tell myself I was straight and that those feelings weren't real as the media and people around me characterized bisexual behavior among women as attention-seeking behavior and not legitimate. Even when I did accept my sexual attraction to women I still didn't feel like I was allowed to claim membership in the LGBTQ+ community because I am in monogamous heterosexual relationship and can pass as heterosexual. I appreciate what you've said in this because it puts words to the insecurities and confusion I've felt (and still feel) about my sexuality and recognizes the erasure that bisexual women face.
God, Tatu's music slaps hard, but the backstory behind their whole image and just how young they were is like really messed up.
It's actually heartbreaking hearing some of the vocal samples that weren't used in their music; Julia's voice was literally broken because "screaming is Tatu's trademark" and singing is genuinely painful for her now. Her live performances since like 2015 are actually pretty hard to watch for me, not because they're "bad" but because you can tell how much of her voice is missing.
@@alexhaupt2134 She probably should have gotten some advise from screamo artists. And I'm not joking.
@@shortbreadgirlscout3463 screaming fucks you up if you don't do it right, you are right in that she should have looked into healthier ways to scream, but im not sure how available that help was when she started
@@shortbreadgirlscout3463 she was super young, and probably thought that her voice training that she had already was enough
And their manager got the schoolgirl idea from porn...that’s all you really need to know hey
After the VMAs where Britney and XTina kissed Madonna, my Catholic school was thrown into a full moral panic and my home room teacher sat us all down to explain why it was dirty and immoral. I just remember scribbling nervously in my binder because I sat beside a really pretty girl and watching the Buffy DVD box sets had awakened something in me.
YESSS that power!
I definitely had a dirty dream that kiss with Britney and Madonna inspired.
I'm a lesbian woman and I've never had a "bisexual phase". I'd had a boy crush once before I even hit puberty and then just tried to force myself into comphet mindset. But almost immediately after that, I fell head over heels in love with my female classmate. And then with my best friend. And again. And again. And I've never had feelings even remotely as deep for any man in my life, and *still* before coming out as a lesbian to my parents I tried to soften the blow with "I'm not gay, I'm bi actually!" which was so dumb, because my mom still says shit like "but you *might* fall and love with a boy someday and marry him, right?" Yes, Helen there's a 0.000000001% chance that I *might* but I wouldn't want you to count too much on it. So yea, this idea that every girl has bisexual tendencies and "experimenting phase" perpetuated by media and pop culture really pisses me off. It's okay for women to explore their sexuality but it's absolutely not okay to fetishize and monetize it.
As a gay pastor's kid I LOVED the song "I Kissed a Girl" as at the time (being a teenager in a conservative home) the "It felt so wrong, it felt so right" lyrics really resonated with me. I can see why some take issue with the song, but I always look back fondly on it.
Honestly, is there any evidence that "I kissed a girl" was part of Katie Perry rebelling against her conservative religious parents? That's always how it came across to me and your comment kinda remind me of that. Also agree with you that while the song might have problems, I too look back on it fondly.
Lol, I totally misread your comment as "kid of a gay pastor" instead of "gay kid of a pastor"
@@gregorycourtney1532 I like that reading.
Same! I mean I’m bi, and I really like it
@@gregorycourtney1532 that was my read. I grew up in the same culture.
I should've realized I was a lesbian the minute my sisters played "I Kissed A Girl" and Avril Lavine's "Girlfriend" and I was disappointed when I realized neither singer actually liked the girls they were talking about(or at least didnt seem to)- years later I almost cried when I heard Haley Kiyoko's "Girls Like Girls" on the radio for the first time(I thought I was bi at the time, so I was especially relieved that she wasn't being perfomative for men's attention- she actually likes girls! It was huge to me at the time and still is) I've never heard a song that spoke to my asexuality, though
I’m not asexual but there should definitely be an asexual anthem
i think there's a song called 'never been in love' by will jay, its really good! there's also home by cavetown which has some kind of aro/ace undertones since the singer is also aroace :D
@@gazingatsaturn I love Home!! And you're totally right, I should def check out Never Been In Love-
theory:
avril lavigne was a lesbian her clone isn't
Girlfriend by avril is not queerbaiting at all, right? She sings about wanting to steal another girls boyfriend
I remember when Taylor Swifts, You Belong With Me came out and I hadn't seen the music video, so the narrative my adolescent brain came up with was that she was singing to A GIRL. That the entire song was her confessing to a girl. AND I SOMEHOW THOUGHT I WAS STILL STRAIGHT
(for ref I'm pansexual)
As an aro/ace nonbinary person, honestly half the time I feel like I'm just safer lying and saying that "Oh no I'm a pansexual trans man" so I don't get ridicule. Great video now I'm going to lay down and stare at the ceiling for an hour.
I'm aro ace too! And where I live is still very...hetero.Seriously,not a lesbian in sight lol so when I'm wit my friends and some dude is bothering me I just say:sorry dude,I like girls!
At best,they leave me alone after saying tHaT's HoT....at worst they make jokes about that being sO hOt AND wanting to "watch".
I feel like if I say I'm aro ace they are just going to try to be ignorant,not believe me,or worse! Say they can "change" that (suggesting that by r*ping me the are going to change my mind).
So,yeah,I CLEARLY prefer saying I'm a lesbian.
As a guy aro / ace, dudes literally try to pressure sex onto you and its not even funny.
Like, they are acting like once I "do it" with someone, I will change my mind..
Like n o. . . And yet people treat it as if it doesn't exist. I cant say I'm gay either because, its implying I enjoy doing that kind of stuff with dudes. I don't really know what to tell people honestly.
@@KingOfNothingLR I feel this...people have trouble understanding asexuality and especially aromancy. But I guess the confusion is mutual, I can't really understand allos either since I have never felt what they feel. Still, forcing someone to change and pushing sex on them is insensitive and pointless.
@@nu--13 why is this relevant? No one was talking about rape.
god I felt this on a personal level. I identified as a trans man for a while just because a biphobic conversation made me scared to not stick within the binary in general... even though I *am* bi and nonbinary. Sometimes it feels a lot like damned if you do, damned if you don't. Having said that there's nothing wrong with trying to keep yourself safe, you know?
I remember being 13 in 2008, not knowing that I was a lesbian, and this song being played constantly on the radio. It made me feel so disgusting. I didn't even know why, like it just made me feel disgusted with myself. Not to be dramatic, but this song and the reaction to it did a LOT of damage to me when it comes to repressing my sexuality. It really made me aware of the culture of women using lesbians as "experimental games" and not actually taking us seriously. It hurts still.
Sorry for that pain you had to endure
same. with time though, i realised i wasnt worthless and a "try out" for straight or bi women. know your worth!
I hate preformitive bisexuality. I hated drunk girls at party’s making out with other sloppy drunk girls for the benefit of gross jock guys it made me feel dirty in the same exact way.
Yeah, I had a similar experience except as a bi girl.
I first heard it when I was 9 and like her, it was the first bisexual thing that actually stuck in my mind. But the song is all about how it's just a quirky little thing she did, nothing serious. That really stuck too. So for the longest time I hated myself so much because I thought I was just pretending because I wanted to feel special. That I was the worst kind of straight. For 8 years I never acted on it because I didn't want to be another reason bisexuals aren't taken seriously.
So the song was really a double edged sword for me: it was literally my first exposure to homosexuality ever but also the first thing to plant that seed of internalized biphobia in my mind
@@andynonymous6769 Ah, I'm torn about it, because yes, it clearly gives a wrong picture, on the other hand I liked it as a teen 🙈
super duper thorough and educational, but also entertaining, love this!!
lol you’re here
Didn't expect to see you here
Sawtooth! Yeee!
SAWTOOTH , didn't expect to find you here
Wow their here
“If you’re a Sailor Moon fan, it’s 60/40 that you’re queer...” Ace Sailor Scout here lol
Bi sailor scout here✌️
Leggo 😌🔥
aro lesbian sailor scout lol
Tuxedo Mask will make you feel things 🤣🤣🤣
Omni sailor scout!
"Oppression is not a Snuggie, we don't all fit into it!" is such a good response to the complexities of privilege within people and communities, I'm gonna hold onto that
Also about the STI thing-my first gyno asked if I had ever been with a bi person, and I said my girlfriend was bi, and the gyno INSISTED I needed tested for every STI right away. I told her I had been tested already and was fine. But gyno kept insisting that because I was dating a bi girl, I was at “high risk”… I was the first person my gf had ever dated or been intimant with, and I by contrast had had many girlfriends before her, but despite this /I/ was “at risk” /because of her/. Ridiculous
I always feel worried that I don't seem queer enough since my partner is a man, and I hate that. My identity as a bi badass shouldn't have to be proven
Snap! I got told I was just bicurious once by a very performative lgbt person in an lgbt safe space...
but why do you want everyone to know it so badly, like how is that gonna affect anything.
i'm bi and tbh i don't really feel the need to tell anyone or really make it seem apparent, but i'd tell someone when the conversation is really going in that direction.
@@stanpines9011 i dont this was in an lgbt society at college
thank you. i've never really felt like i was part of the LGBT community, even though I"m literally The B part. It took me until now, in my 30's to realize that i never even took my own bisexuality seriously because of fetishization/erasure.
yeah I feel that, when I was younger I used to wish I was a lesbian to feel like my struggles being queer were valid
Those statements from the judges actually made my heart start racing. That is infuriating and I can't even imagine how Kesha felt.
absolutely vile
+++
I don't understand why?
The thing about "not every r*pe is about gender" sounds true to me. It's reasonable that a lawsuit for gender violence, with the only basis being a rape incidence, be dismissed here. Also: It isn't uncommon that rape cases fail because they can't be sufficiently proven. I'm not saying that Kesha is lying, but if she isn't able to prove that she was raped, then it is reasonable to dismiss the claim that he raped her (she could have lied about a rape incidence just to get out of the contract which would ruin his life. Maybe she lied, maybe he lied. We can't prove either and I'm a firm believer of innocent until proven guilty, so I think it was the right decision that her lawsuit didn't amount to anything.)
Is this the ideal situation in the case that he actually raped her? Definitely not. But she couldn't prove any rape and therefore it was the correct decision.
@@neiotik No, that is not what I said. I just think that it is stupid to think that the ruling is infuriating, when you can't prove anything Ke$ha said and she could be the one lying.
It is not fine to basically say that the guy isn't worth anything, because of an incident that maybe never happened. It is messed up to be upset that the guys carreer path is going smoothly, when he was ruled innocent.
@@neiotik No it isn't. It is what you want to hear me say. I am not responsible for your perception, only for my words.
I do feel for the victims of rape and I also think that rapists should be punished heavier.
*But* : It is never right to judge people prematurely and I also know people who are malicious enough to pretend that they were raped just to get back at someone. Therefore I don't appreciate the "guilty until proven innocent" - culture that is slowly building around the subject of rape and I also don't want people to lose faith in the judicial system, because this ruling was correct and I will defend that.
First time I heard that song was at a friend's pool party. I was ~12 I think. I remember thinking, "wait, did she say she kissed a *girl* ? She can do that?" Like it hadn't even occurred to me that that was an option before lol
same lol
“You probably don’t know who t.A.T.u are.” How you underestimate me!
Back in my day we would the music video on fuse then go talk about it in aol chat rooms while creeps spammed us with a/s/l.
I found the all the things she said mv in middle school and it made me cry. Since then I've donated many views to tatu though I am aware one of the girls is super homophobic and the way they were forced to do it at their age does make me uncomfy.
That section about "Where have all the lesbians gone" infuriates me on a personal level. I am a transgender man. I am not a lesbian. I have many, many friends who are lesbians. I'm not erasing them, and I won't erase myself in the process to become palatable. Yes, I'm bisexual too.
Edit: I didn't just wake up one day and "choose to be a man". I am not hurting lesbians, because I was never a woman.
I never identified as a lesbian lol, for a long time I identified as a bisexual man and only recently I discovered that I am more straight than bi, so idk no lesbian ever went anywhere
exactly! i am a lesbian and the idea that lesbians are "being erased" is so frustrating to me. even if trans men coming out was causing a decrease in lesbians, there are plenty of trans lesbian women to offset that. if transphobes would just accept people as the gender they are, they'd see that.
As a person who identified as a lesbian for a long long time before realizing over a lot of agonizing that i was actually a trans man, quotes like that one have genuinely done me LOT of harm. Being told i was essentially failing my fellow lesbians by not actually identifying as one anymore is just... Not helpful yknow lol
Also they're the sort of people who'd deny that I'm a lesbian
The thing that gets me is that the only way these labels, gay and lesbian, will EVER go away is if we are no longer abused for our sexualities and allowed to like who we like without the need to organize behind it. As long as we are abused for our sexualities those words will always see use because there will always be a use for them: to organize behind for safety rights and joy. If we no longer need them then that is a sign that our highest goals have been met. From a contemporary perspective that scenario is damn near utopian but she's really out here MOURNING that hypothetical future all because people *might* not use that one word any more and some people these days feel like the labels don't describe their experiences and identities and that makes her feel sad😢. I don't know if people from her perspective have just been so sheltered from what the rest of us queers face that they have to make up issues in order to feel like they're going through a struggle while ignoring actual homophobia that does exist, or if they're just so traumatized that they can't even find it in themselves to fantasize about a post-bigotry world any more. But damn, either way it's exhausting. It serves absolutely no purpose to the gay and lesbian community and only exists to denigrate bi and trans people
hearing you talk about bisexuality and asexuality means a lot to me, because figured out and came out (to my small group of friends) as bi in 2009/2010ish (i dont feel like doing math rn) but as ive grown up ive realized that I'm also ace. they both feel right for me, and while ill happily say im biromantic asexual, i also will use bisexual and asexual and queer interchangeably, and depending on context. they're all me.
i am bi, i am ace, i am queer, i am nonbinary, and i am disabled and these are so important to me
I'm a pansexual man that has mostly dated women. One major thing I deal with is that I often feel like I'm not queer enough to call myself queer, though I often feel that the label is something that gives me comfort. I really appreciate what youve presented here
I relate to this so hard. All my relationships have been with men. I've chased women but my feelings were not reciprocated. I try to be as big of a part of the lgbt community but I'll never be gay enough I guess.
@@jessijaneway5093 As a cishet Star Wars guy, this looks a lot like the Outer Rim vs Core Worlds conflict. The Republic was elitist to the center, and the OR wasn't having it.
i feel this so much! i’ve been dismissed by so many queer folks because i’m a cis bisexual woman who has mostly dated men. it’s frustrating that some people feel queerness is quantitative. you can’t measure someone’s identity by their number of partners from one gender or another? i hate that energy.
I cried hearing her acknowledge how society will label bi men as gay, and women (even bi women) will refuse to be with them. As a AMAB pan enby, this is a big problem I feel no one wants to talk about.
as another bi enby, this is why i only date other bi trans people.
@@lunarmagpie619 I was already in a long term relationship with a cis het woman when I came out. It was hard easing her into it. Cis people, especially straights, have weird expectations.
@@lunarmagpie619 I fear that another would never want me, and resent that it bothers me, because I am validating the idea that their affection is somehow more special than ours. I feel shallow and hypocritical.
@@lunarmagpie619 on the one hand, this is definitely a trend. On the other hand, me noticing and holding it against them feels misogynistic and like internalized queerphobia. Like an incel imposter.
@@lefu87williford55 you’re definitely not misogynistic for noticing others’ biphobia/panphobia! It’s so easy to let the imposter syndrome in, I totally get that, and then you add in the zesty dash of systemic transphobia and it makes it a million times worse. I struggle with it too. You’re not alone, and you’re certainly not an incel for wanting all the parts of who you are to be respected.
ngl seeing LGBTQ+ folks come out and accept their truth is very cathartic when you're a cis male that grew up in a religious sect that shamed all forms of sexual expression. you folks have been through some real shit and hearing your stories and confessions helps me work through my own arbitrary shame. thanks alot to all of you
that's awesome!!! wishing you well
I literally said “Lady Gaga?” When you said there was an actual bi pop star in the early 2000s LMFAOOO
"I am bi because bisexual is the term that gave me the power to be me" is possibly the most resonant description I have EVER heard for keeping that label, because that is IT. I'm ALL FOR people identifying as pan if that's what suits them best, but bisexual IS the term that gave me that power so I don't want to let it go.
I was already out (as bi, anyway) by the time KP dropped I Kissed A Girl, but even I can't deny that I've got a complicated relationship with this song for really, REALLY similar reasons. Really loved this!
Language is a living organism, changing in time and space, as a queer trans woman, I have never assumed that the term bisexual was trans exclusionary, but more of an individual thing. I'm a little older and my own experience is a little exclusionary, but I believe that is my personal problem and not some prescribed truth.
Ahaha, "Oppression is not a snuggie." You always slip in these great one liners that really capture the bigger picture while being so comedic. :)
am i the only one who was imagining Contra Points screaming “GaL PallS” for the whole first part
I HEARD IT TOOO
@Is me ? Contrapoints video "Shame" here on UA-cam, highly recommend it
@Is me ? you're welcome. Contrapoints is one of my favourite UA-camrs, I love her so much. I hope you enjoy her content too.
@Is me ? you won't regret ist. it is "easy to consume" but the true depth of the discussions can not be overestimeted. have fun
Shit, that was my imagination?
I’m pan and married and I feel like my identity is less valid because my husband and I are “straight passing”
youre still valid!!!!!
Nooo ur still valid!! Don't let anyone tell u otherwise. Just because ur married to a man doesn't mean ur not pansexual. Ur pansexual and that's valid 💗💛💙
I've been out as bisexual for about 18 years and married to a man. Still bi. We're valid.
As a non-binary pansexual person, it really makes me sad when I see a woman/man who likes more than the opposite gender and they think that when they date the opposite gender they aren’t as valid. You’re so fucking valid! if it’s a safe decision and you have a house, hang a pan flag outside your house to celebrate yourself. You could even buy gay clothes/accessories or wear gay makeup representing you! You’re valid and worthy 💖💛💙
@@h1mm27 thank you! You've made my day¡
Coming from Hbomberguy's recomendations! This is a really enjoyable video! Thank you for making this!
Oo! The nails match the shirt
I'm a bisexual guy who doesn't eat meat, drives an electric car and definitely does like boys... but even I would listen to that song in the car and sing along, though I definitely felt conflicted about it. That whole album was basically my soundtrack for like six months when I first got it. I definitely thought that I Kissed a Girl and You're So Gay wre both extrmely "problematic" and high key judged her for making them but goddamn were they catchy and I couldn't help myself. Katy Perry is my ultimate guilty pleasure.
"Guilty pleasure" WTF😭😭😭😭
I think is really unfair to not have Katy´s background in consideration as a "good Christian girl" that grew up in a very catholic and repressive house, also One of the boys concept bc IKAG is right after One of the boys (song) wich is about how she wanted to learn to be a girly girl, and she said IKAG is about the beauty of women. Ur so gay is right next to Mannequin and Hot n Cold songs in wich you can tell SHE WAS ANGRY jajaja
As an F word myself I LOVE the openning verse from Ur so gay about jer***ing off while listening to Mozart, is just so savage jajaja Im literally getting that verse tattoed lol
@@sugar4155 having a repressed religious background doesnt excuse the horrible messages and stereotypes she perpetuated with both those songs, so yeah she os definitely a guilty pleasure, with heavy emphasis on guilty.
@@botanicalitus4194 Girl calm down she´s not Hitler. Obviously it doesn´t make it unproblematic but its not malicious, of course she´s gonna say " it felt so wrong it felt so right" she was told her entire life that it was wrong
I am almost 10 years older than you and that song always made me angry. I came out as bisexual to close friends shortly before it became "cool". There was a period of time in the early 2000s that all the girls said they were bi which predominantly translated to kissing their friends in front of boys to get their attention. Whether or not those girls were bisexual, it always felt gross that my sexuality that I had painfully struggled with became a party trick. That song always just reeked of that for me.
I'm the same age as Princess and I remember being really mad at I Kissed A Girl when it was released. At the time I was offended by "I hope my boyfriend won't mind it!" because it's not that it implies that the singer is bi, it's that it implies that she feels confident that he won't think it counts as any kind of cheating because, well, it's a girl so it doesn't count. I managed to avoid hearing the song very much, but it came on on our work mix a couple of days ago and nowadays I'm less bothered by "I hope my boyfriend won't mind it" than I am by "I don't even know her name" and "it's just an experimental phase" because both the lines basically say that it's not legitimate, and the only reason why it's fine for the narrator to kiss another girl is *because* it doesn't count. Also I feel bad for ms Cherry Chapstick in the song, because imagine the girl you were kissing going on about how it doesn't count and she doesn't even know you and it doesn't matter? Fucking rude
honestly it rlly does come off as that, thats why i prefer covers that actually make it about a gay awakening and not just "oh my god i kissed a girl how sCaNdALoUs"
Katy perry's upbringing was strictly catholic, I mean her parents kicked her out and didnt support her when she gave up christian music. Later katy perry was picked up by her label. When her father went to one of her concerts he cried and called her a devil child. Maybe those are the things which have affected her mindset a lot. She even said in her 2012 documentary that her anti gay upbringing affect her in terrible ways.
Girls like girls by Haley Kioko was my bisexual awakening song. I don’t think it is problematic because she is a lesbian but none the less a HIT
i love hayley so much and that song shook me to the core as a young queer person but i'm iffy about the song solely because of the "steal your girl" trope - i feel like it's still centering men somehow
song bops tho i listen to it a lot lol
I grew up Catholic so the awakening was very slow for me (I might also be dumb 😭) but that song was absolutely part of my journey omg
I extend my pansexual arms for an understanding hug to my bisexual siblings to erase the pain of others misunderstanding us
not sure if it's mentioned in the video yet, but this was 2008...the same year Britney released 'If You Seek Amy' which, while being a major finger to sexist media, she reclaimed her sexualized image for herself-to me, it always seemed playfully (not bait-ily) inclusive of bisexual and or lesbian interpretations. I mean, beyond the double entendre, the lyrics follow her looking for a woman at a party-a woman she finds attractive. One can read that the woman is *herself*, or it's a love interest, or it's the fake image society projected onto her....fascinating stuff.
Well, all of the boys *and* all of the girls are begging to if you seek her~
Often I click on these kinda videos and feel kinda depressed at the end but this was such an amazing explanation and I’m feeling empowered because I’m still trying to figure myself out, I’m just wanting to say thank you.
The stigma around herpes was crazy for me, I got oral herpes(a cold sore) when I was five from a chapstick of a family friend. So for my entire life essentially I had a cold sore whenever I was stressed or run down, but once people started learning about herpes as young teenagers, it became something I was deeply ashamed of despite knowing I WAS 5 when I got it :/ needless to say idc anymore but still
I got it after drinking from the same glass as my mom when I was 10 rip, yall let me tell you, if you can avoid it don’t get a cold sore, it is a complete bitch
same except mine were inside my mouth. at first, i didn't think anything of them, having always had them, until kids started talking about mouth sores in relation to sexual promiscuity, and i was like, "wait, what??"
I got mine from my mom when I was
Katy Perry’s “your so gay” is so close to making me relapse I can’t explain my anger with the song
That song makes my blood boil.
Stay strong bud, try to distract yourself from the urges!
i hope you’re doing okay 💖
I heard the song is actually about her Ex, he was very narcissistic, hence, "You're so gay yet you don't even like boys"
I mean still she said sung he should hang himself, and then queerbaited, so I'm not justifying her as a person, I'm just saying the song is misunderstood.
@@emmakise5182 I don't hate Katy perry in any capacity actually, her most recent album (Smile) is actually really calming and cool, 2000/2010's music was extremely problematic and I can understand how some miscommunications can lead to pieces of art being misconstrued. I still don't like the usage of 'gay' as a metaphor for whiney/insufferable men though. But, I don't in any way feel like Katy still supports this standpoint/message.
@@jhashfaghsdfsajdfjgsajgfas342 ohhh I see! Yeah reading your reply, I also don't think the use of gay was appropriate either, but I guess it's still better than her talking about an actually gay person. Of course, still problematic either way. People grow though, I'd think Katy has grown but I haven't really kept up with her.
the first time i heard the term bisexual was in a magazine article about lady gaga back in elementary school, but other kids thought that she was weird so i didn't particularly like her and paid article no mind. fast forward a couple of years later and i'm bi, casually out and an unapologetic lady gaga stan. i wish i realised earlier how wonderful she is as an artist and how impactful her career has been
i have almost the exact same story except that i was already a stan when i read the article and never stopped but it still took me years to figure out that was me too (bi) 😭
Lmao, I remember being so annoyed by this song but also being like “but it’s here and it’s about gay stuff so I’ll take it”. Thinking about how much we had to go through in the aughts makes me so glad we can have a variety of out artists who make art about being queer now.
We used to take whatever we could get. Thank goodness the kids these days have better options.
I think for me its yhe lack of “normal” representation of being gay in these older songs.... like everything was so overtly sexualized and not shown in a way to give a real look at being bisexual/gay/etc.
@@micahcook2408 so many references that were shocking in the 60s for example- like Little Richard or The Beatles throwing in the gender reversal in Obli di Obli da supposedly by accident would be seen as non-binary now.
I realized I was bi because I realized I was asexual. Realizing I was asexual made me realize that that attraction to guys I was waiting for might never come, and that opened up my mind to realize I had been romantically attracted to girls before but had thought it was a squish each time because I didn't feel actually attracted to them (which I didn't for men either, but I expected to be attracted to boys eventually)
My life in a nutshell
I raised in the opposite way but aromantic or demisexual
Bruh this is literally me
you didn't have to describe my life word for word
"I expected to be attracted to boys eventually" is litterally me up to the point i knew what asexuality was 😂
hearing people say that aces don’t belong in the community really hurts my soul, i’m pretty sure we do belong
You do belong.
Yo that quote about how bisexuality being co-opted into the male gaze gave me some good language to vocalize my issues with how women and especially young girls are portrayed in anime. Will keep that in mind, thanks!
I hate wlw representation in anime and hentai. Its so heteronormative and its like they literally don't understand what lesbian means.
@@goldenapple3952 anyways check out Bloom into you it's my favourite gl anime and doesn't have that problem
As a mlm I offer this in solidarity
mlm 🤝 wlw
being fetishized
in manga and anime
for the straight gaze
My problematic transman awakening song was The Man by the killers, cause its meant to be a critique of toxic masculinity and male culture, but the whole time I was like "oh to be a hot successful man.." followed a couple seconds later by "oh shit"
Damn same awaking song
MOOD
as another trans man, you might have introduced me to my new favorite song lmfao
I wish trans men when theyd say "i could do so much better"
Also meant they wouldn't rape people. Im not sure how "raping me to switch positions" works persay, and is how "theyll do so much better"
@@nu--13 excuse me?
I Kissed A Girl was so addictive for me as a 12 year old gay. Had that shit on repeat. Also seems to me at the time Katy did not like to reveal her actual bisexuality. Maybe scared her career would go south? But few years ago she did say she did more than “kiss girls” in a gay awards acceptance speech. The song is about bicuriosity. Perfect song to get people talking and start a conversation for changes to be made in social views.
Lesbian here (previously identified as bisexual), my obsession with the Anaconda music video as a young teenager was very sus lol
I was wondering if you were gonna mention t.A.T.u.... And now I feel old. (though I gotta admit, All the Things She Said still gives me emotions)
gosh, tht was like the og 2000s gay bait song. I was a kid, but I loved it then, and had a huge fondness for the song throughout my life- but esp in college...huge tAtu re-up for me
That song and video had 10-11 year old me shook 🤧
I remember vividly finding the lyrics of the song and struggling to understand them with my minimal knowledge of English (before Google translate was a thing!). I am feeling such a gay nostalgia now!
same, I still love that song even tho I know it's gay bait
i used to play that song all the time on the jukebox at my first job at pizza hut when i was 17...my co-workers hated me.
as an asexual person, i'm really touched by your mention of us here ❤
"Oppression is not a snuggie". I love it. It's accurate. Everyone's story is unique. Everyone's struggle is different.
Lady Gaga was absolutely my bisexual awakening, oh my god. I remember watching the Paparazzi video and having Thoughts and Feelings about it. Such an icon.
OH MY GOD the memories this is bringing up. I recently realized I was bi and since it has just been a constant flood of repressed memories. I definitely felt A Certain Way about Paparazzi as a young kid 🤭
As a Lesbian, I am so sorry. I apologize for the Lesbians who made any Bi-sexual feel invalid, or unworthy, or anything like that. You guys are all beautiful, and wonderful people. I also apologize to any Absolutely LOVELY trans women who felt unworthy or invalidated by a lesbian. You are all so beautiful, and I love you all, and I am so sorry
Hey, it okay, not your fault 💕
Thank you for saying that, it means a lot 💕
@@electricbaby7315 of course! You are wonderful!!
@@astolat2262 I know, but sometimes I just feel like there are too many Lesbians who give us a bad name, and I feel the need to apologize for them. WE DON'T CLAIM THEM.
@Poniest. Of course!!
Funny story, me and my bff were both in the Mormon church and every summer aged 12-17 we went to the church's Girl Camp. One year my friend kept singing this song about kissing a girl, and I (who hadn't heard the song yet) was like "should you be singing that??" (Later when I actually heard it I had to admit it was catchy)
Fast forward after HS and my friend comes out as a lesbian (though later she was dating a guy, so maybe she is bi) and I was like "huh.. That actually makes sense." Fast forward a few more years, I realize I am asexual, and now to present day where I am finally starting to realize/accept I might actually like girls, aesthetically and possibly romantically.
I'm a minute in but just want to share my personal experience with the existence of this song.
It was everywhere, I wasn't in the closet yet because attraction hadn't happened yet. However, the moment my mother criticized the song on the phone to her friend saying it was disgusting and left nothing to the imagination "ah she even told us how the kiss tasted, that is vulgar"... At that very moment, I felt a particular type of defensiveness, my mother saying these things within earshot triggered my realization that I am a lesbian, I was in the closet for 13 years because my mother just had to tell someone that a woman kissing another woman was the worst thing she has ever heard.
I also remember the summer this song was playing all the time. I was a 14 yo confused teenager who had no idea what attraction was, and I remember the rumors of girls kissing and the implications that they were doing it to get attention from boys. Which ofc I didn’t get, because why would you want attention from boys lol. It would be almost 8 years before I met anyone who treated and talked about female bisexuality or even lesbians as valid.
absolutely lived for the discussion of ace issues in this video. its rlly fucking true that our hypersexual society makes figuring out where you fit super difficult. Its hard to even know what you want from relationships because media/people around you have such a singular idea of what a romantic relationship is.
when I listened to the "ur so gay" song when I was younger I didn't know English well bc it's not my 1st language and I remember being super excited about a song with "gay" in the title because I thought it was a positive thing and I didn't see official gay stuff anywhere... oh how hard the homophobia of it hit me once I knew English well enough to understand the lyrics.....
As a cis white bi girl who grew up in the south, I was told bi meant confused since I could pass for straight by dating boys I did. And you could argue that I didn't have to do much to "fit in". Its not something that I ever got to explore until I was 18 or 19
wait im a cis white bi girl too lol
It's crazy because as a BISEXUAL TRANS MAN, I still somehow managed to retain biphobia regarding my own partners. I didn't even realize until I got with my now fiance. He's bisexual homoromantic, and that fact DESTROYED me during the beginnings of our relationship because it made me dysphoric. My boyfriend.... existing as a bisexual man..... made me dysphoric and paranoid..... despite the fact that I am also a bisexual man......
Bud, I feel you! And idk, I think there's a difference between internalised biphobia vs feeling reassured/validated by having a monosexual partner whose orientation aligns with our identity Like, I'm also a bi trans man, have dated mainly other bisexuals but at times felt extra validated by attention from gay men / hetero women. Have worked hard on relying less on external validation and feel better for it, buuut also it's a very human need so be kind to yourself!
I think Rachel Bloom's song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 'Feelin Kinda Naughty' perfectly captures the absurdity of I Kissed a Girl. It spoofs the music video and the notion that these girl crushes are always "innocent" so amazingly. I really recommend it.
That show has a song for every occasion
Crazy Ex Girlfriend is just such a good show all around. It is a very real and raw story about mental health struggles. And it has such good bisexual representation. All of the bi characters are so unashamedly bi. They don’t dance around word, they use it loud and proud. There’s an entire freaking song about being bi.
@@averyjeanne Its the perfect show.
Can we just think about how much Lady GaGa has done for us baby bisexuals back in the day... hope everyone who reads this has a great day and feels loved tonight ❤️
P.S. Also, as a Russian bisexual gal, I have to say that Tatu is the level of legendary few artists can measure up to
Do you remember when the OIympics were held in Moscow a few years ago and during the opening ceremonies, they actually played some TATU (Nas Ne Dogonjat, IIRC) during the exact time period that Putin was abusing homosexuals across the country? That was fucked up.
I feel Lady Gaga gets so erased as a Bi woman- I literally just thought she was an ally until recently
Бисексуальный привет из Беларуси✋🏻❤️
@@anastasiaasme8043 привеееет! :D
Tatu had some of the favourite songs of my mom, we've listened to it quite a bit.
I've heard some stories about the youth of my mom and although she never really labelled herself I would assume she falls somewhere on the bispectrum. She also grew up in one of the russian occupied countries which were never really accepting about these kind of things but that never really bothered her.
And tatu just radiates 'iconic'~
YOU MADE THE DISNEY FEMSLASH AMVS , I LOVED THOSE
I'm really happy that Sesshomaru is there over your shoulder for this. He was so FEMME, it was like a loophole.
Sesshomaru is probably the first person I simped over
35:09 oh my god, you just totally nailed why I felt so out of place when I was in high school. My friend group was really into doing personality test things like Myers Briggs and the ennegram stuff, and of course the Kinsey scale fit into this, but like EVERY time I did it, I'd get the "you do not fit on the scale" result. It's weird to be the kind of queer that feels flickering attraction to either gender, but overall only feels a really strong attraction to those I feel emotionally intimate with. And because this kind of attraction can't have a very succinct label put on it, I just shrug and say, "Yeah, I guess I'm a demi bisexual" but even that doesn't feel quite right. Part of why it doesn't feel right is because of how it feels so "tumblr", and my ex best friend straight up told me that she doesn't think demi or asexuality are real/legitimate sexualities and would constantly try to contradict how I would feel attracted to others. She saw me as being illogical, or silly, and because she had FAR more experience with relationships than me, I kind of took her word for it (though I did tell her that she crossed a line in dismissing how I felt, or did not feel, attracted to others). I'm still not comfortable with any label other than 'queer' because of how these labels present a "need" for a particular definition and rationale/proof, even if it's something that defies categorization (fuck western science for doing this to us).
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Demisexual solidarity👊🏾! I sometimes wanted to throw shit at my friends because I wasn't set for maximum thirst. Your friends will eventually get it and if they're still dismissive after several conversations, well life is short don't waste time explaining yourself. Have fun with a new friend group
@@mzgreenjeansapproves Yes! 👊 Honestly, I think I was able to slide by because I would have serial "crushes", but all of these crushes were MUCH more founded on feeling a sense of kinship or "I See You", but if someone made it explicitly/primarily sexual I'd be verrrrry uncomfortable.
@@BertieJRussell YES!!! All of that yes! You are SEEN my friend 💕💛💙
As an agender femme lesbian I cannot tell you how violently I appreciate you and this video. Subscribing immediately
Ugh I remember thinking that I wasn't l bisexual, I was just appreciating women's aesthetics... I never got into Katy Perry, I was all wannabe-emo at the time so was super into Paramore. I remember rolling my eyes at I kissed a girl thinking it was an attention grab. I stupidly internalised those feelings and once I did realise I was bi, I did the whole "maybe I'm just straight" "maybe I'm just gay" for way longer than I should.
Fantastic video, as per usual ❤️
That's so funny to hear because Katy Perry got a big bump from the emo/scene community in her early days. I saw her live at Warped Tour in 2008 and she even sang this song and she was big with the kind of crowd that was into 3OH!3 and other less screamy, neon colored scene adjacent music
@@Scopatone I was into prog rock and all the "woe is me" kind of music, Katy never really matched my vibe
Meeeeeee omg this was meee
Goin' thru that at the moment with dudes. Just watched Anthony Mackie on the Late Show and was like "Damn, he's handsome." ...still just can't wrap my head around actually _doing_ "things" with men, tho; beyond hugging and light groping, anything else is uncomfortable. _Might_ be heterosexual/biromantic...haven't figured it yet.
I'm just wondering, when did you know you were bisexual ?
I'm 22 and I'm still confused, because although I haven't been sexually/romantically attracted to any women I know, I feel like I'm close to identifying as bisexual. But then again I might just subconsciously want to be part of the community. But also I've only been romantically attracted to men twice and only since I was 19 so I don't know. When will I know if I'm really straight ?
As someone who adored t.A.T.u I was heartbroken when I realized Julia is homophobic. The song Malchik gay is a homophobic song that is to the same degree as "ur so gay" where the song is a girl who is mad the man is gay so lashes out
*They* aren't. Yulia is. Which is ironic, considering she's actually bi, and has stated that if she had a gay daughter, she wouldn't care. She said that if she had a gay son, she'd disown him, and that she hates gay and bi men, which, considering what I just wrote, is astonishingly, almost unbelievably hypocritical
@@technobabble123 I'm happy Katina doesn't hold the same view points, when Yulia first came out saying that the media outlet i read it from tried to claim it was both of them stating it, thank you so much for the fact checking.
@@teetee996112 Elena is quite opposite - she is religious yet supportive of LGBT community. Unlike her bandmate...
6:36 YES! This was me! When I turned 25, I came out to myself that I was bisexual when I realised that I had been crushing on one of my female best friends for YEARS...
I do remember moments where I thought I was being perverted or gross for even finding other women attractive... I forced myself to deny those feelings for a long time, even hating other female-female couples... I was miserable and spiteful at that time and I didn’t feel fully liberated until I told myself that it is okay and valid to find women attractive just as much as you find men attractive!
Now I’ve gone from disliking same-sex couples because of internalised biphobia/homophobia to wishing I also could have a healthy and wonderful relationship with wether it be a man, or woman or someone who’s outside the gender norms!