When i was a kid I used to come home all the time talkin bout my friend this my friend that my grandma used to say "you aint got no friends I'm your only friend besides god!" RIP to my grandma cuz she was all the way right! I'm twenty seven with like 2 people I'm close too because of her words.
Shekinah has 3.6 million followers, she can stand on her own and shine in her own light. This is about letting go and accepting relationships ending. Shekinah isn't just a nobody, she has businesses and is a talented hairstylist. Know your worth and keep it moving.
She out shined the master and they don’t like that! She has talent & personality & they definitely don’t like that! She’s outgrown them and that’s okay
Thats all I’m sayin…she was too busy focusing on them that she couldn’t see her own light. She’s more talented and good looking than Tiny will ever be…and T.I. (with his backwards ass) doesn’t believe women she go more than 3 feet beyond the front porch so there’s no wonder why he couldn’t take a self-made woman like Shekinah and didn’t want her around his wife and daughters. What a weak man 😒
Shekinah was a real down to earth person which was probably something Tiny needed in her life rather than all the fake folks. On that show they did together Shekinah was the better performer by far. The show dead with her presence period! Shekinah doesn't need Tiny at all today and need to put her in the rear view mirror of her life!
I broke off a 53 year friendship (friends since childhood) because I found out much later in our so called friendship that she expose my personal situation to other people who knew me when I was going through hard times and as she begin to accomplish the finer things in life she begin to treat me like a peasant girl. i was never jealous of anything she had, always glad for her. As of now i'm my own best friend.
I’m 33 and I have no friends. Absolutely none. I got tired of being bullied and half loved. I have a cat. I’m happier with no friends, until I find real true ones.
Omggggggg this comment spoke to me..now my children are grown and I’m in a relationship..but in all honesty females and males can hurt you..and I have coworkers that I associate myself with but to have a best female friend which I haven’t had in so many years has burnt me an used me so I have I a very hard time to trust anyone..my man always says how come you don’t have any friends I’m like because I trust a whole lot a the scandalous females so..it is what it’s
Don’t know much about some thing’s but my mother always taught me how to be a friend and to keep confidences!!!!! Please reach out if you’re willing to give friendship another try.
@@karimahsmith2545 I completely understand. I know how to be the type of friend that I want to have. Reaching out to you to offer my friendship. At any rate no matter what…God Bless You.
@@foodie4138 my issue is that I trust too much ansi always come back to bite me in the butt ..I’m always there for people but I don’t allow someone to get close in that way again
I felt trigged by watching the video. Getting heartbroken by a "friend" is not a topic discussed enough. I'm 30 and barely have friends because of many reasons. I had best friend for over 10 years but I was always the fat one between us and she always had something to say about my close relationship with my mother. She pulled the guys but I was always the 3rd wheel, the one who was made fun of when around guys, etc. Once I lost over 200lbs, our friendship changed. I didn't get it then but I understand now. I focus on building wealth for my kids, my marriage, and myself. Friendship is a rarity.
Good for you! My friendships changed when I lost weight. I was devastated to realize how threatened and shallow my friends were and how much my appearance mattered to them. I ended one friendship and distanced myself from another. Sadly, I did not maintain the weight loss but I continued to "shed" the haters and the fakers. I hope you maintain your best you, however that looks, both inside and out!!
I definitely believe Tiny needed a flunky to boost her self-esteem since her husband clearly destroyed hers. She needed something or someone to have control over, who idolized her, who saw her worth because she couldn’t get it from who she craved it from.
Sometimes the friendships that we think we have with people are only in our minds and are just one sided. Let us experience a financial or personal crisis once in our lives and we will see who our friends truly are.
@@luckyjasss8466 You are absolutely correct! I actually started to type “relationships” in general then deleted and put friendships based on the topic. It’s with people in general
From someone who has close connection to Shekaniah.. Shekaniah actually came up because she was a long time hair dresser for future and still is. Through his connections she became a celebrity stylist, so I want to make it clear Tiny did not put her in nor was she a “Flunky”. Now what I will agree with is that They both needed each other as an outlet and from an entertainment standpoint the reality show was some cute change. But don’t forget Shekaniah has her talent and that talent was known all through the east/ south side of Georgia!
@@missjones8123 undoubtedly because of the reality shows. That goes without saying however, to say she was a flunky for lack of a better term is not true. Her exposure was with Tiny publicly, but her success was from owning a successful shop and doing hair of many well known celebrities. Let’s not forget Tiny was under the radar for a while.. so they both used each other.
She’s funny as I don’t know what ( naturally) you’re right! She made the show when they first started because she was funny. People don’t wanna talk about how they used her for ratings
@@Cappyfemale Amen My Sista, Amen!!!!! Playground bullies grow up to be workplace bullies!! I'm dealing with that now as we speak!! Meam spirited children are products of mean spirited parents. It's a vicious cycle.
@@watsonar70 I dealt with a workplace bully before and it sucks and feels like HS again. Another bw. Lesson learned. I thought we stuck together. Wrong!
Betrayal never comes from an enemy! It’s always from someone you love, or who you think loves you! It’s horrible coming from friends. Now imagine family‼️
My cousin would do this to me. She had more support than me growing up financially. She never fought her own fights and used me. She would consistently go away with out me and I found out from a mutual friend she would laugh about how I couldn't afford it. The friends would want to hold me down she would get mad at the suggestion. All these years later we have ZERO relationship. If I got this game I would have cut her off in our twenties. She liked me struggling the minute I got myself together all she did was try to remind me of my broke 20's. It was a draining relationship and I am sooooo much better for getting my mental together to not let her in my space like that. I did need to heal and once I did it was so obvious
Omg, I had a cousin just like that too. . .but it didnt take me long to cut her off and I bossed up in my 20s, plus I always date better dudes than her so in the end, and just recently when I went home to visit, she attempted to try and mend the relationship but I spoke and kept it moving. I dont need that negative energy around me, I love her because she's family but I dont need or want her in my circle! 🤷🏽♀️
We all have some family like this and it's sad because family is suppose to be there for you smh but GOD has the final say Chile.. glad u saw the real 💯
I’m happy I learned this relationship dynamic through blood . Also, God has a funny way of changing dynamics. As the old ppl say “KEEP LIVING.” To anyone who took that as an insult it is truly a gem I’m happy God gave me time to see!
I said this the WHOLE time! Shekinah was simply a worker to Tiny who added to her personality therefore she kept her around! This is why I have only a handful of REAL friends
One thing I have to say… just because tiny is wealthy and attached doesn’t mean she’s “further ahead”. Tiny and spouse have a very hard time finding peace and everybody sees it. Different ways of life and different means sure.. but this measuring stick is really killing people. Love this message though!
Oh wow. That is a word. They have a hard time finding peace. It's true. Something isn't right about them. There is no way this much drama follows you if you're happy and living good. They are always involved in something always!
I agree, but monetarily isn't easy stick to measure with and I think the biggest point is that someone like tiny seems to be one of the people that uses this measuring stick. And I think it gives her a completely warped view of her life and the lives of others. Instead of being grateful for her friends support and loyalty she saw it as a weakness then exploited and judged her for it
Facts. To be true friends you have to love and respect that person for who they are. That has nothing to do with money. If money is the factor you aren’t real friends. Certain people bring peace and culture or whatever you admire to your life. W is giving great advice but it’s a bit superficial. Tiny is a user.
Right and I believe it when she said he told her that to her face. For me that would've been the END of everything. A bitch that allows her man to down her so called friend ain't shit.
@@cmclayton1986 absolutely,cuz what’s NOT gonna happen is my friend’s man outright disrespects me and my friend is allowing it to happen so oh yes I would definitely end the friendship and moreover we fighting!!
My mother always told me to never tell anyone you're personal business People can use it to weaponize it against you No one should know all your business anyone can turn on you
I braided hair for years and it wasnt until in my 30s that I realized that people will use you/ portray themselves as a friend to have that contact at their convenience. I was so hurt once I realized that a lot of these "clients" weren't really there for me as I would be for them. When you style hair, you counsel - take in energy so it is easy to get the lines blurred. I just wish that early on people would be more upfront with their intentions. Until then BOUNDARIES are how you prevent feeling how Shekinah is feeling now! Some peoples want for you ends when their needs STOP!
Child.....Ain't this episode on point?...I am also a hairstylist/braider..30 years in...and I don't miss those very same feelings early in the start of my career...for a few years I thought heavily about switching to a different talent.!!!.Then I learned it was my own foot that had to be put down to protect my feelings or expect a change. I considered if there would be any future in the connections I had made thus far ..tiring myself out for others benefit. It"s very true,It was not easy to sift out the real from the fake..as most of us starting in any profession often gather a clientele within family and neighbors before we actually pick up steam.Then before you know anything you have recommendations coming left and right...which is great business wise till everybody thinks they deserve family discounts for merely knowing your name and blessing us by sitting in our chairs...like Hello?!?...We all have rent and bills to pay...though.This is my job....Too many Hook-ups later...people never recognize how they drain your time and patience...like we're chopped liver or something..with no personal lives,When it was always our choice to draw the boundary .but out of aiming to please and doing the most to maintain relationships...We just exhaust ourselves..while the other folks go on without the same worries or care...Friendships as well...I hear Dineva...what's so broken in me? that mistreatment was ok...and discomfort became normal.Funny thing is I have always been better alone even in my chilhood years lol...just always worked better in peace and quiet..lol..too many players spoil the game..lol...lol..lol.. Friends are Overrated.
I am 28 years old and I'm so happy I learned this lesson at 25!!!! Having friends that call and vent all their problems but never call you to tell you good news! I love this message!!! 🥰
It's called emotional dumping. It's good to have people to talk about hard times but some people take advantage and use their friends, particularly the empathic ones who listen, almost like a 24 hour garbage dump without ever planting anything good, as in no positive nourishment. So you end up wilting yourself if you keep allowing it 🥀
Shekinah may have a lot to say at times but she has always comes across HONEST. Her delivery may not be to some people's choosing but I feel for her. It's hard when you find out people you were once close to consider you expendable. Prayers and healing for her. 🙏🏾
I just experience this at the age 30 with a childhood best friend and this hurt worst than the death of my mother. I confided with her about all life’s turmoil. The moment when I needed her the most when I lost myself in life I was so easily disposal to her. Since this happened I found myself more closed off to ppl than I already was. I ignored all the flags before because I admire ppl who are doing better than me or who posses qualities that I would like to develop but to her I was just somebody she could make a mockery of just to say how much better she was then me. It’s been 3 years and I still morn that friendship but like u said I just put my big panties on and moved on with life because ik for a fact she lost no sleep over it even though I have.
I’ve been there. I learned to be wary of those new friends that say things like “ I only want positive people in my life. Or no negativity allowed. Or talk about manifesting energy or speaking life into things” sometimes those people are telling you that if you don’t adhere to those guidelines they don’t want you in their lives so if you are in a storm they will leave you. I mean who really goes through every bad experience with a positive outlook that’s a behavior that is learned and if your friends are too positive to grow with you and to support you as you stumble in life then you don’t need them so watch those positivity people some of them are just plain shallow self absorbed folks that talk a good game for appearances.
One thing I've learned about people such as that. Someone somewhere is treating them worse than they ever treated you that's how they learned it!!!! Out
Sis, I feel we all needed this video. I never heard of a “toxic friend” until 2021. I am at the lowest point of my life right now. And the one I just knew would have my back no matter what walked out on me. It hurts but, God is going to harvest something beautiful from our pain. Much peace love and blessings to you Beautiful 🙏🏽💗💗
He just was on the radio calling her a parasite. Now I believe everything Shekinah said. And you’re right funky, if a female let a man treat her friend any kind of way she co-signs it.
100% but then again Tiny let’s any and everything slide when it comes to her husband. Tiny isn’t going to go against her husband . He did her and Toya the same way you barely see her with Toya
@@jadalajoy1957 she sure does. Remember when they had a show long ago, when he went to jail. and she was supposed to go out with her friends but he got so mad so she didn’t go but she went home? I said wow he’s so controlling even from jail.
Another telltale .... malicious and manipulative people will try to control how other people view you once they no longer have control of you. Usually by disparaging your name/reputation.
What is he supposed to say? Is he not supposed to defend himself and his wife? Smh her whole public rant was clout chasing. Tip and Berniece been over and Shekinah ain’t been her friend for months.
Ti & tiny are Narcissist.. They are in the occult.. Listen to how they talk.. The things they say and do.. Then look up a narcissist.. You'll think me later
So, she may be that way to people who make her kiss they a$$, meanwhile she has genuine day ones that she probably treats like ish or even showed out when she thought she was coming up. Ok
Agree with you and Shekinah was the girl of the street and taught Tiny everything about that life and they used her an abused her. She use to do their hair. It is a shame! You know how ppl are when you in the click don't no body want to mess with you and this is what Shekinah is going thru TI & Tiny has that power so all the clicks are on there side regardless of them being right or wrong.
I saw this on an episode of Dr. Phil. I’ve never forgotten it. Warning signs that a friendship has become toxic: •You feel bad about yourself after contact •Your friend is unsupportive and even demanding •Your friend is a taker •The relationship is draining, unsatisfying and stifling •There is unequal footing; You have no voice •Your friend is unreliable •There is a pattern of criticism •There is little or no respect
I loved EVERYTHING you said Dineva. Pay attention to how your friends 'friends' treat you. I also say NEVER give someone power to hurt you. Once they know they've broken you down, they gain power over you! Never let them see you sweat!! FOR REAL!
Bottom line, don’t be so desperate for friendship that you stay where you aren’t celebrated. If you know how good of a friend you are, be by yourself before you let someone use you. Go with love 🤍 God will bring the right ones into your life. Your family usually is the only consistent ones in your life; as an adult I understand this more.
Thanks so much for your post. I needed to hear your message because in the past I was the one desperate for friends that I will do anything to hold on to one. I got used so much and taken advantage of because I was lonely. People saw that and tried to capitalize on it.
Family will put you in bad position, faster than those types of friends. Family even entitled when doing. How about value the relationship with yourself, God, and Jesus. Be happy with the blessing of having some decent in your life, because ppl are garbage, family included. Hope for the best and expect the worse.
21:14 hit me so hard in my chest. That WAS exactly me. At 40 I’m a loner now. I moved to Vegas over a year ago and haven’t even thought about making a friend. I left their ass back home in Louisiana and my 2nd home Houston and didn’t look back. I love being at home alone with positive vibes flowing through here. I’m so glad the negativity is out of my life. I mean it took me 20 years but I eventually learned. I know everyone isn’t like the old toxic friends I had but I’m just protecting myself from hurt.
Yes!!!! I am 40 and a loner as well! I know what I want out of life and I would rather be with me fulfilled than settling for less than what I require out of friendships.
I’m 40 moved to Vegas 2 years ago and have not looked back to Louisiana or Houston either! Lol I travel, work, and enjoy life with no friends! High five to you!
My family treated me like this for my entire life. My own siblings that literally all came from the same situation as me turned their backs on me when I was left out. I'm the oldest and I did everything I could to help all of them at different points in their lives. They weren't treated the way I was, my family always treated me less than while supporting and uplifting them. There would be "family" gatherings, get togethers, and trips that I wasn't informed of or invited to, but any time they called on me for anything I was right there because "that's family", and all Iever wanted was for them to love me back. I used to think that me being there for them even though I knew I could never depend on them being there for me was me being the "bigger/better' person. Later I realized that it didn't make me the "better person", it actually made me a damn fool. These situations are difficult when the people involved are acquaintances or friends, but when it's your blood family it's devastating because who else is going love you if the people you share DNA with treat you like crap?? It was difficult but I had to cut them loose and start taking care of myself. Instead of using my meager resources to be there for people that will never be there for me, I started saving whatever I did have for my own rainy days. There will come a time that I'm going to need help, and I know that my "family" are never going to be there for me in those circumstances. Alll they've ever done is make me feel bad about myself and hurt my feelings. I will never give them another chance to hurt me again. I had to forgive them and move on with my life. They've never apologized or even asked for my forgiveness, they don't even feel like they've done anything wrong and that's okay. I didn't forgive them for their sake but for my own sake. The truth is they don't deserve my forgiveness, but at some point we're all hoping to be forgiven if it turns out that there is a God that can allow you into heaven or send you to hell. If we expect for God to forgive us, shouldn't we give that same consideration to the people that have hurt us?? Forgiveness doesn't mean that you're welcome back into my life. Forgiveness is this; even though you've hurt me, I don't hate you and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. It's I love you, but I don't trust you when you claim to love me because all you've ever done is hurt me. Forgiveness is, telling them no when they ask for your help because you need everything that you have for when you need their help and they're not going to do anything to help you even if they have it, because they've never done anything to help you when you needed them the most before. Forgiving them is letting them go and never allowing them to hurt you again. I will never stop loving my "family", and I wish that they loved me the same way that I love them, but you can't make people care about you. Being their flunky isn't going to make them feel in any way indebted to you, it only makes you look like a damn fool...
I just cut my whole family off for similar reasons, They purposely left me & children out after my mom passed away but only called when they needed a favor , some type of love, support & uplifting. I never received the same in return so I just ended it with no remorse!! I feel it was easier for me because I grieved the relationships secretly while still engaging with them. You are very strong and I wish you nothing but the best on your journey ❤❤❤
Spot on. Tiny was never her friend. This was a relationship built on convenience. Friendship breakups can be devastating and I really hope Shekinah heals and finds her tribe. She is talented and worthy and I hope she moves on. Let’s energize her glow up with a whole lot of positive vibrations. “Love ain’t hard”!
@@DDavis-mi2cg , define friendship, people do out grow each other, yet some can remain cordial! Relationships are not hard to maintain if one truly wants to be in the relationship. Yes, there will be hard conversations sometimes to be had, but if we are friends that too will work itself out!!
It's crazy how you say Tiny was never her friend yet she put her on several shows and gave her many opportunities to make a career. Shekinah blew it and then made it worse by going live on ig coked up. Look how she acts online. And you expected Tiny to put up with that? Smh...It's two sides to the story. . You wouldn't even know Shekinah if it wasn't for TINY.
I’m someone who likes to be around people who are doing better than me, because I don’t get intimidated. I see it as learning and inspiration. But if there is ONE thing I learned recently, is that some people who are PHYSICALLY doing better (financially, professionally, etc.) are in fact emotionally and mentally immature. So while you’re being mature, learning from them, taking notes etc., their cocky immaturity is allowing them to look down on you and you don’t even know it. Be careful.
Funky is so underrated! He is clearly one of the realest, empathetic , truthful and fair person in media! He chooses right when it ain’t popular, that’s what real legends are made of! Keep it up Funky D!!!!!!!💪🏾💪🏾❤️
Well I’m married and I’ll speak on it. Marriage is NOT hard! I can’t even tell you that it takes a lot of hard work. You might be with the wrong person and/or married for the wrong reason but when it’s right, it’s easy like a Sunday morning! Im almost 19 years in and every day is like the best day ever with him. He’s my best friend and my favorite person in the world. We’ve never made each other cry except happy tears. Of course we disagree on things but because we love and respect each other then even our disagreements are with understanding and amicably discussed.
'Your' marriage is not hard and I love that for you. But as a fellow married person, my experience is sometimes it IS hard. Sometimes you don't like each other much, but you love each other so you work through it. Your near perfect marriage is the exception, but it's not the rule.
How many people can say their spouse is their favorite person in the world? Not something you hear often, but this is how it should be. That means they really look out for you and love to see you smile. Two happy hearts reciprocating love. Thank you for sharing.
This was so good. The subject of friendship needs to be talked about more. We have to value ourselves more. When people show us who they are we really have to believe them and stop giving them so many chances to hurt us over and over again. I no longer allow it. I exit very quickly these days.
"Go to where you're loved. Go to where you're celebrated. How people around your friends treat you is a reflection of how your friends feel about you."🎯💯🙌🏾
My motto for all relationships is that loyalty should happen in and out of my sight. I always had "best friends" who didn't consider me a "best" anything. In 2022, keep that cut off games tight. Anyy body can go, mother, father, and siblings. We hold on to people who are seasonal and temporary. I can't stand to be friends with people who can not disagree without being nasty with their words and actions. Some things you cannot apologize for later. Additionally, I hate passive aggressive insults justified as "jokes." When it happens address it immediately and reevaluate your position in that person's life. Authentic relationships should flow naturally. If you have force yourself to be around someone who is constantly toxic cut them off without notice or explanation. Never kiss someone's ass to get along with their face.
I’m not going to lie I love the reality breakdowns you use to do… but this new chapter in your life I actually love it… real GROWN people talks of difficult conversations I even watched it twice cause you hit home.. especially the last 5 mins ❤️
Amen 🙏🏾 I knew and felt that on the episode where Tami found out the Evelyn slept with her ex husband and Shaunie basically forced evenlyn to tell her at dinner
Friendships shouldn’t feel mean, shady, fragile, unbalanced, or possessive in that way. Like you said, you know. It can take years to accept but sadly you had all the signs from the beginning. I had to learn that through a lot of loss, but I’m glad I did.
This made me cry! I was just thinking about reaching out to an old friend. She stopped talking to me all of a sudden and wouldn't tell me why. Idk why my spirit was perplexed to reach out to her. It's been 2 yrs! And then this video pops up in my feed. And I didn't expect this message so now I'm crying! And I'm saying good bye to my friend (in spirit) again, for good. THANKYOU Q FOR THIS VIDEO! ❤
Hey Funky, this comment might get lost but whatever direction you choose to go with the journalism, I'm here for it. I've been a fan since 2014 and you're great at what you do, it truly is your gift.
Friendship is based on support , reliablity , companionship. A Friend not necessarily your colleague, nor intellectual or professional equal. A friend is someone who gives support regardless of status
Me, myself, and I That's all I got in the end That's what I found out And it ain't no need to cry I took a vow that from now on I'm gon' be my own best friend. #Beyonce
I usually agree with you, but not on this one. TI didn’t need Tiny’s permission to disrespect Shekinah- look at how he’s disrespected Tiny and his daughters over the years. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually has talked sh!t to Mrs. Diane before. He has no respect for women. Tiny clearly has low self esteem and is male identified so she wasn’t willing to defend/protect her friend. I don’t befriend misogynistic women with low self-esteem because they’ll always betray you and can actually be dangerous to be around.
I totally agree for I was thinking that. Tiny did everything possibly to garner attention & continued love from Tip, how much more would she stand up for a friend called Shekinah who really is not on their caliber? Smh. Even still that friendship was one sided which I feel deep down shekinah knew. She overlooked signs but reality struck her when Tiny forgot her when Sabrina was on their tails.
My sediments exactly. Tiny has low self esteem so she needed Shekinah to make herself feel better. You're right about Tiny never checking TI. TI continues to disrespect Tiny and the other women in the family. He knows Tiny's never going to leave him so why should he put forth any effort to be a decent human being.
This is why I’ve never been a person that needs friends. I’ve witnessed this behavior on so many occasions and it’s sad. That title is thrown around so frequently and majority of the time it’s a one sided situation.
No worst feeling than to think someone is a friend who's not. Tiny and her husband referred to her as the help. They treated Shekinah poorly because Shekinah stayed around. Shekinah should have ended that relationship long time ago. I would have just did her hair and moved forward with my life. Stand up for yourself. Never allow someone to disrespect you. That should never be for sale. Shekinah will heal. 2022 just started. No where to look but up from here!
Discernment is key. I let go of relationships when I feel used or “not celebrated.” People are vultures and only around when they can swoop in to get something.
TI know who to talk about or go after. I bet you he won't ever talk sideways with Kandi. That being said, I'm glad Kandi tried to help Shekinah get her own show despite her friendship with Tiny. Kandi always seem to be the person who wants to see everyone win.
Funky Dineva, thank you. This video message really hit home for me in such a way to where it’s gut punching for me. In all my 41 years of life, I’ve been the butt of jokes, the one who was left out, the one most people dumped all their problems on & not once saw about me to see if I was ok. Now I have to finally see myself in the eyes of others & draw the conclusion that I wasn’t that friend, loved one, lover that was left to fend for self. Truth of the matter is it hurts, bad! So for 2022, my absence is gonna be felt. 😭😭😭😭
Please protect and value yourself. It is going to be the best thing and watch how much your life changes, how many doors open and opportunities come your way. I wish you abundant blessings on your journey! 💜💜💜
I finally let go of an 18 yr friendship with a frienemy. Now that it's over, I can look back and see all the low key hater things she did and said. Crazy part is, I don't miss her. Just goes to show, sometimes we force relationships and we didn't even know it. I honestly feel free.
ALL OF THIS!!!! Thank you for this. I honestly believe this should be played for high schoolers...especially girls...to prepare them for relationships both platonic and romantic. Jesus this touched my soul!! I like this new direction you're moving in and I'm so here for the ride!
I heard Bishop T.D. Jakes say in a sermon recently, “Relationships can only survive to the degree where there is reciprocity.” The reciprocity was unbalanced in Tiny & Shekinah’s relationship from the very beginning. Tiny needed someone a little beneath her & unfortunately Shekinah filled that role all while providing her talents/skills for free. Shekinah probably felt the friendship was real, but as soon as she stepped out of line and grabbed a little light of her own, the dynamic changed. She found out the friendship wasn’t all that she thought it was.
I always wondered why all of my friends who had a separate friend group didn’t like me; This is across two different friends. I could never get it until i got into it with one of my “friends friend” and she said and I’ll never forget she said “ it’s funny to me that you doin all this and don’t know what your “friend” is saying about you” and I looked at MY friend and she went off on her friend. Now we were teens but I see now she was trying to shut her up and now at 32 I’m like ohhh now I see why I could never be friends with any of my homegirls friends..they talked shit about me. It’s crazy how hindsight can be 20/20
I learned this lesson in my early to mid 20s, I’m 34 now. I have 3 people in my life I call friends. And none of them I have known in my childhood or college. Having these people in my life has shown me the people who I was friends with for 10+ years were really not friends. I really want Shekinah to heal and let Tiny go because Tiny don’t care about her.
When he said “you knew”, it definitely took me back to a time where I had a childhood friend that said and did questionable things to me. She would gaslight me when called out on it. I knew something wasn’t right about it but I thought that’s how friends were. My mother was a narcissist so she would passive aggressively sabotage me and gaslight me when I stood up for myself. Once I figured out why I took that mess, I cut it off. They both still talk and I know it’s about me. I knew how they were treating me wasn’t right but I ate it because of how I was raised from abuse. The dots do connect and once you wake up to one thing, you’re on to another.
@@joyceg7859 they stay saying that too. My ex friends excuse was that she was pregnant lol nah you meant what you said😭 and being pregnant don’t make you invite everybody else but me to hang out with you.
Let me just applaud your growth. You have inspired so many with your transparency, funny anecdotes and everything. I love the direction you’re going in. You better let God use you and keep inspiring the people. We appreciate you Q! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
This is so true. My Ex Best friend did this to me. Her Man started talking crazy to me one evening and she did not check him. She had been talking about me behind my back to him and others just dirty. That ended our 11 year friendship. Turns out afterward I realized how much she talked down to me and thought she was better than me.
This happened to me too and the “girl” tried coming back acting like everything was cool after unfriending me off of Facebook and shading me, guess what? Her and her “baby dad” are not together and she burned Bridges with other friends too she’s gotten more karma but I’m not going into that
@@dickersonr6172 with this girl I used to be friends with she had to unfriend me off of Facebook just to shade me she called me a p**** and said she needed new friends 😂😂😂 she was talking crap about me to her boyfriend and people I use to be friends with
I grew up as an only child and was very dependent on my friends growing up. I always valued our friendships more than they did and that was reflected by the effort each of us put into the relationship. When I accepted that there wasn’t genuine reciprocity I cut off those friends and began my journey of self discovery. I travelled, met new people, tried new experiences, lost weight, and improved myself. I grew to love myself more and prayed that God would send me like-minded friends and He did. My platonic and romantic relationships now are so much healthier and fulfilling. I always say you attract the best when you’re at your best (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially). When you truly love yourself and don’t depend on external sources for internal validation you naturally will set standards and boundaries and dismiss anyone who doesn’t adhere.
Mia you said a word ! I’m a loner by nature as a only child .. I treated people soo good and was hurt by the best .. NEVER again .. I have cut off 15 year and 20 friendships. After 2021 new beginnings ♥️2022
A lot of ppl today do not know how to be friends and friends are hard to come by. It’s lonely but I choose to be my own friend and don’t give nobody no handouts earn my love my time🤷🏾♀️
This was a word! I’ve had friends that I had been friends with since 3rd grade who had zero grace with me when I suffered a 2nd trimester miscarriage. The one time I, the “strong one”, needed to be handled with kid gloves, I couldn’t get what I have always given without having to be asked. I haven’t spoken to them in 3yrs and don’t plan on changing that. One thing I am truly thankful for is my ability to shut shyt all the way down real quick, no hesitation. When people show you who they are, believe them! History is history for a reason. Make your decisions based on how treat you NOW, not THEN!
I am so sorry,girl ! Omg I could never imagine and I am so sorry that those so called friends weren't there for you at that grieving time ! Fuck them . Hope you're healing and happy ,if not then I wish all the best for you on your healing journey 💛
Some ppl like to have “friends” who aren’t doing as good as them, around just to make themselves feel better about themselves because even though they may have everything, they are still miserable!
I just discovered this about a friend I’ve had over 17 years. As long as I was a reckless mess that couldn’t sustain a relationship she was right by my side riding shotgun…..once I stabilized myself have a amazing man got pregnant and had a baby in the last year I’ve probably heard from her twice throughout the entire transition….and when i did it was shady undertones. It was hard to accept she wasn’t happy for me but she’s not and the gag is she’s married been married for 20+ years!!!
When I was young I hung out with a group of girls that I thought was cool and in my mind more popular. I noticed I would dumb myself down and never really dress up because I noticed it made them uncomfortable and they would try to publicly shame me with “jokes” when I got so called attention. I took it because I just wanted to belong. One year I got tired and decided to be me. The way those girls started talking about me even shocked me. They liked me around because they thought I was “beneath” them.
Shekinah was a “Do Girl”. She was the one to pick up the weed, go get the food,pick up stuff when Tamika couldnt or knew better to ask her Real friends to play assistant. TI never respected Shekinah from her first episode of Family Hustle. One thing i’ve learned is once you confide in your nigga that you dont really care for somebody,he will go out his way to run that person off for you. I’ve seen it a million times. I cant stand TI or Shekinah BUT I see how each of them feel about one another: To TI,Shekinah has ALWAYS been a liability and he was right. To Shekinah,they absolutely did use her because like you said all she had was services to offer.
Shekinah had a light that some people don’t have and want to be around but are jealous of you having it. I’ve had people jealous of me but had more things than me. I realize they were because I was living my life on my own terms and for some reason they couldn’t or wouldn’t and were jealous. Like I tell everyone don’t hate on me cause you can always be like me, living life and loving it
When they called her "the help" that should have been a wake up call, for how they really saw her. But it's easier said than do, especially if you have low self esteem.
Shekinah offered something to Tiny...a grounded-connection to the "real world she was raised in. Although Tiny obtained a celebrity lifestyle, Tiny still appreciated the everyday lifestyle in some form. Shekinah represented that.
I had a cousin like that. As long as I was able to help her with her business. Baby sit her kids .. I was good . As soon as I started working and making money . She couldn’t use me and we fell out
Yup I had a friend like that. I don't have any kids so she thought I was going to pick her kids up from school everyday. When I switched jobs and started going out more it was a problem.
This is a long one so thanks in advance for reading. Okay, I had a friend in middle and h.s that was not popular and was even disliked, because of her defensive attitude about how she looked. We went to 2 different schools and she always wanted me to come to her school for different events because that was the only time she got any attention. Her main problem was that she had a very low self esteem because she has a dark complexion. I didn't get it because I never really paid much attention to the dark v.s light skin controversy because I don't consider myself either one. I have medium brown skin and my hair is long and curly so if a guy from her school really liked me or if we went out and I got more attention, she'd say something like, "He just likes you because you're light skinned with long hair" which used to irk the shit out of me because I'm not light skinnned. I've always loved my brown skin but I would also always give her compliments and try to help her with her self esteem issue. I thought that she was pretty but because of her low self esteem, she had a bad attitude, which made her ugly. Once we graduated, she immediately got a decent paying job, while I was going to school and struggling on a minimum wage job. She was able to buy a car and move out of her mother's house, while I still stayed at home and drove my parents' cars. That's when our relationship really changed. She met another girl, who worked with her, who really was light skin, with long hair, as well. It started with them going out shopping without me. Then one Christmas, I was out shopping with her and she bought this other girl, that was friends of the new friend that she met at work and someone that she barely knew, a pair of $150 leather boots. This girl was biracial but what really impressed her was that she was messing with a married man that was paying all her bills and giving her whatever she wanted. That same Christmas, she bought me a shirt, that was clearly out of season and obviously from the sales rack. The shirt was an XS, which was too small so I took it back to the store that she told me it came from, which was an expensive boutique in the mall. Those people took one look @ that shirt and told me that it wasn't theirs, then pointed me to a discount store a couple of doors down. I walked in that store and immediately saw the same shirt on a clearance rack, for $10 and all was left was XS's. This, after I had bought this bitch a whole microwave. To this day, she probably has no idea that I found out where that shirt was really from and what it costed. Then she and her friend would go out without me and when they did pick me up, the energy was so weird that I could tell that they had been talking about me. The final straw was when I had cut back hours at work to concentrate more on school. One day I mentioned an all white party that someone was throwing from my college. The day of the party, I didn't hear from her. The next day she called me all excited, telling me about the wonderful time she and her other friend had at the party. When I asked her why she didn't call me, she told me that she didn't think I could afford to buy something to wear, just for a party because I had just cut my hours at work. I went off. I told her not to ever count what's in my pockets because that's not her place nor concern. I had never depended on her to buy me anything or pay my way into anywhere so I didn't understand how she felt she had the right to decide if I could afford anything, let alone a new outfit. I worked at Macy's for goodness sakes. I use to get her clothes. Not to mention that I had plenty of stuff in my closet, with tags on them, just waiting to be worn. I finally told her to lose my number. My sister never could stand her and said that that chick was always jealous of me...jealous of my home life, with good parents, that both loved me, while she had a father who couldn't care any less about her nor her mother and a very abusive mother, who hated her for it and favored her younger brother because his skin was lighter. She was also jealous of my looks and my personality but for whatever reason, I felt so sorry for her that I ignored it. Fast forward many, many years later to a few months ago. I saw her at the mall, while I was looking for a present for my niece and it was more than obvious that the years had not been very kind to her. She looked rough, ragged and worn out. The fool had the nerve to run up and hug me, like nothing had happened and even tried to exchange numbers. Girl, Bye. I am a full grown woman, now and I'm sure that we no longer have anything in common. I also know that she now knows that she will NEVER find another friend like I was to her. Thanks for reading.
This story is similar to mine, but I was the poor dark skinned girl and she was the light skinned girl who then became friends with an even more lighter skinned girl who was a popular get into any party, didn’t care about anybody chick. I got booted right out of the picture. Looking back I think it was the proximity to light skinned that made me look overlook the messed up things she would say and do. And I think that was Shekinah, she saw value in herself because she was friends with Tiny.
I can see why she took a step back… your ego is glaring in your story and you don’t seem to see it. You described her like you was doing her a solid. You don’t think she felt that? People like to be around people that make them feel good around. Something in your behavior that didn’t make her feel good and the new person was a fresh start. Throwing a compliment her way when you are explaining how she was treated by others probably didn’t help her self esteem. She probably felt you were saying it just to be nice. The fact that you bring up your complexion, curly hair and getting the attention sounds off. When you are young insecurities are real af, but you saw her years later a woman that appeared to you to have moved on, but down and yet you seem to relish in her L. Why not ask her why? Clearly the length of your comment feels like there still hurt there. Why not heal that by confronting it? Even if no rebuild of a friendship came from it.
@@kckrox6911 You misunderstand. Arimas gave the backstory of looks for context. Her "friend" is the villiain here, which is why she still embraced Arimas years later.
Lol, Is that what you gathered from my post? 😁You got it ALL wrong. I never made her feel bad about the way she looked because I thought that she was actually a pretty girl... on the outside. I use to compliment her all the time. What made her ugly was her mouth and her defensive and sometimes offensive attitude. Anybody would tell you that I love dark skin and the darker the better. I love skin colors from all over the spectrum but I've always been more attracted to darker skin. She was the one who didn't like her skin color and she had a very nasty attitude towards others because of it. I can't tell you how many fights I had to de-escalate because of her nasty attitude. Believe me, the way she felt about herself had nothing to do with me. She's had that problem long before we even met. That was between her and her mother. If I was the problem them why is it that I had all the friends and she didn't? In fact, all my other friends use to ask me, why was I friends with her and I couldn't explain it. I guess it was because she was a good friend to me, at first but gradually things began to change. What I gathered from the situation is that she was too wrapped up in skin color and my brown skin had become old news, when those light skin chicks started befriending her. Then she probably let them get in her head, complaining that I didn't have the money to keep up with their life styles. I don't know but If I was as bad as you just explained, then she wouldn't have run up, hugged me and tried to exchange numbers? If it was me that was the bad friend then she would have spoken and kept it moving. Don't judge people based off of a long paragraph because you don't really know the whole story. The reason the post was long is because it's a long ass story and I like going into full detail when I explain my experiences so you can get a good picture. Trust me, I've been over it and I never gloated or reveled in her or anyone else's downfall. In fact, I don't even know her situation. She could be filthy rich for all I know but she looked like she has led a very fast pace life style, like she'd been rode hard and hung out to dry, when I saw her. She was probably trying to be like her two friends and tried to play some guy for his money and he done took her ass 'down through there', as they say.
You are speaking volumes right now….. I just had an conversation with my daughter about this exact situation. It’s not hard to be in a friendship. Friendships should be easy, free flowing. If you have to work hard to be in a friendship that’s not a real friend. My friend circle is very small for this exact reason. Honey preach ❤️
I never heard anyone talk about this subject like this, let me give you a round of applause sir 👏👏👏👏 because you said nothing but the truth 💯 . I haven't had friends in years, because most people are really selfish, and I ain't got time for it. You really do have to be equally yoke with who you want to be friends with. Great advice
This resonated with me on so many levels. I’ve been where Shekinah is, but my situation wasn’t an “unbalanced” relationship; our status quo was almost identical. BUT the red flags were exactly what you described: she treated me differently around other people, than she did when it was just me and her. I ignored it for a while until the wall came tumbling down. It hurt for a while, but then I honestly felt a sense of relief. Shekinah has to accept “what is”, grieve about it and move on.
When somebody treats you like that when y'all are still evenly yolks, it's called jealousy. And just because y'all have the same material things don't think that means that y'all have the same things internally. She sensed something about you and was bothered
I do think Shekinah is hurt. The problem I have is, when you were in the circle, you went along to get along and used her celebrity to help you. Shekinah should've let that end when the rumors started about their show being canceled cause TI felt like Shekinah was getting all the shine. As the old folks say where there's some smoke, theirs some fire. I hate that she's hurt, but I wish that she would heal in peace. Tinys circle ain't gone change, her people are still gone ride for her. Right now Shekinah looks like the bitter ex friend. I want Shekinah to win, but jer antics outside of this situation are just too much at times. I always liked her better than Tiny anyway. Shekinah go heal, and come back better than ever.
This was triggering for me because I struggled for 5 years after I got out the military I had to lose weight and get my money up bc I wasn’t folks cup a tea when I fell off so it was hard for me to get close to people .. because I have seen who people are when I fell on my bad times..so I started building my life for ME❤️ hoping for healing for Shekinah 🌹
“She needed a flunky”.... sums up that particular relationship perfectly. IRL, from the outside looking in, I’m always curious about the self-esteem of people I see who are in the power position, who “date down”. To have to constantly wonder, “does this person REALLY like me for me” has to be a mentally taxing.
I was a flunky too.... I saw the signs.... but the nail in the coffin was when I got got covid. She didn't look out for me, but I always looked out. I don't call her, she calls me.... I'm cordial but it will never be the same....
@@amberhi874 aside from a precious few, I’ve always had lopsided relationships/friendships. My mother saw it early and told me to stop being people’s “burden bearer”, I told her I got strong shoulders I can handle it but over the years I’ve accumulated a few bags myself and could use someone to lighten my load but there’s hardly anyone in sight 😔
I love when you said that the way “your friends’” spouse treats you is a reflection of how they “your friend” feel about you when you’re not around. #ThatPart !!! When you said “Know your place and earn your spot” I heard that in Mc Debra’s voice.
This hurt to listen to because it’s a harsh lesson I had to learn over time and I’m still learning! Most of my life I’ve been the flunky friend to very pathological narc people. Whether I had more money or not, it didn’t matter to them. They were stuck in ego and overcompensating for their lowly socioeconomic status. I learned the hard way to choose those who are capable of love and who have a lot going for them as opposed to those who are damaged and need a scapegoat. 💡
People need to realize that friendships are relationships. Your friendships, just like romantic relationships, should be equally yoked. Therapy has taught me that and so much more about myself and those in my social circle.
Tiny saw Shekinah like the 1/2 white woman she is…she saw her as ‘The Help & Never The Equal! Hopefully Shekinah will heal from this & let this be a lesson for ALL Black Women in regards of our relationships…If your ‘friend’ throws shade, They Are NOT nor Ever Be a Friend!💯
I have rewatched this video several times; not so much because I am actively going through this situation, but because of how it was delivered so alloquently with compassion and love, and how well it resonated with this audience. I'd like to see a part 2: What happens when you level up or "earn your spot" in these relationships and they begin to treat you indifferently/hate on you.
This is why you can't fool with everybody on a too personal of a level. I'm not your comic relief at my expense, Nor your body guard or your punching bag. The word friend is used entirely too loosely in the entertainment world heck the world in general. Y'all be safe though
Know who you are telling your business too. Take it to the river if need be. Sometimes the people you think you trust the most are the ones spilling your business. I feel you know who got your back exactly what Q said towards the end. "You knew,"
This definitely hit home. I was disowned by my family as a child because I was gay. So my friends were my family. The one person I considered to be my bf turned out to be a snake. It hurt me to the core because that was my brother. I can't tell you how much I've done for this person to find out that behind my back, they were dragging me. But looking back, some part of me always knew but chose not to see because of the love I had for this person. But you live and you learn.💯
Have you ever thought about doing a motivational podcast where people can call in and get advice from you? To see you stepping into your calling is an amazing sight.
I realized a long time ago that people don't live luxurious lifestyles for themselves. It's always about other people. People want that attention and validation. They fish for compliments. People continue to place value on everything that is just surface level. People love feeling like they're superior to you. It doesn't matter how great of a person you are. People love having control in relationships. People will pull out every trick in the book to hold on to you, even if it means throwing your bad circumstances in your face. I have my own mind. I'm not a yes person. I'm not an ass kisser. I'm not an ego stroker. I'm not going to agree just because you're my friend. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear just because you're my friend. If you want that in a friend, I'm not the one for you. I have no issue ending a friendship if I have to. I always pay attention to how people treat me and others. For me, that's what it's about, not that superficial shit. Mutual respect and boundaries should exist in relationships.
I remember my grandmother use to say, "A friend who thinks their better than you, is never your friend." Life has taught me that she was right.
Girrrllllll
My mom included in that if a person is jealous of you that is not your friend
*they're
All white ppl think they're inherently better than blacks. All of them
When i was a kid I used to come home all the time talkin bout my friend this my friend that my grandma used to say "you aint got no friends I'm your only friend besides god!" RIP to my grandma cuz she was all the way right! I'm twenty seven with like 2 people I'm close too because of her words.
“Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated”. Come through, Pastor Dineva!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I know right 👏🏽👏🏽
That's Rev Run but it's always great to hear it. 😂
Yessss! 🙏
Absolutely 💯
Amen
Shekinah has 3.6 million followers, she can stand on her own and shine in her own light. This is about letting go and accepting relationships ending. Shekinah isn't just a nobody, she has businesses and is a talented hairstylist. Know your worth and keep it moving.
I truly wish she reads this! I want her to win so bad!
Frfr she made them shows
She out shined the master and they don’t like that! She has talent & personality & they definitely don’t like that! She’s outgrown them and that’s okay
Thats all I’m sayin…she was too busy focusing on them that she couldn’t see her own light. She’s more talented and good looking than Tiny will ever be…and T.I. (with his backwards ass) doesn’t believe women she go more than 3 feet beyond the front porch so there’s no wonder why he couldn’t take a self-made woman like Shekinah and didn’t want her around his wife and daughters. What a weak man 😒
Shekinah was a real down to earth person which was probably something Tiny needed in her life rather than all the fake folks. On that show they did together Shekinah was the better performer by far. The show dead with her presence period! Shekinah doesn't need Tiny at all today and need to put her in the rear view mirror of her life!
I broke off a 53 year friendship (friends since childhood) because I found out much later in our so called friendship that she expose my personal situation to other people who knew me when I was going through hard times and as she begin to accomplish the finer things in life she begin to treat me like a peasant girl. i was never jealous of anything she had, always glad for her. As of now i'm my own best friend.
Best thing, I can count my friends on one finger.
👀🥺
Wow. That's of sad.
Wow tths why I'm my best friend I can't go wrong with my self hello
Ok but her telling your business is WRONG!!! Shekina telling Tiny’s business is WRONG!!!
The lost of a friend hurts more than a lost of a lover...
Aameen
10000000% agree
It’s the same actually. Relationship are relationships and when the go south it hurts.
I swear I said this
#MFSCIENTIFICFACTS
I’m 33 and I have no friends. Absolutely none. I got tired of being bullied and half loved. I have a cat. I’m happier with no friends, until I find real true ones.
SIS, ME TOO!
Omggggggg this comment spoke to me..now my children are grown and I’m in a relationship..but in all honesty females and males can hurt you..and I have coworkers that I associate myself with but to have a best female friend which I haven’t had in so many years has burnt me an used me so I have I a very hard time to trust anyone..my man always says how come you don’t have any friends I’m like because I trust a whole lot a the scandalous females so..it is what it’s
Don’t know much about some thing’s but my mother always taught me how to be a friend and to keep confidences!!!!! Please reach out if you’re willing to give friendship another try.
@@karimahsmith2545 I completely understand. I know how to be the type of friend that I want to have. Reaching out to you to offer my friendship. At any rate no matter what…God Bless You.
@@foodie4138 my issue is that I trust too much ansi always come back to bite me in the butt ..I’m always there for people but I don’t allow someone to get close in that way again
I felt trigged by watching the video. Getting heartbroken by a "friend" is not a topic discussed enough. I'm 30 and barely have friends because of many reasons. I had best friend for over 10 years but I was always the fat one between us and she always had something to say about my close relationship with my mother. She pulled the guys but I was always the 3rd wheel, the one who was made fun of when around guys, etc. Once I lost over 200lbs, our friendship changed. I didn't get it then but I understand now. I focus on building wealth for my kids, my marriage, and myself. Friendship is a rarity.
So happy for you the more investment you put in your own life the happier you will feel. Enjoy your 2022!
Good for you! My friendships changed when I lost weight. I was devastated to realize how threatened and shallow my friends were and how much my appearance mattered to them. I ended one friendship and distanced myself from another. Sadly, I did not maintain the weight loss but I continued to "shed" the haters and the fakers. I hope you maintain your best you, however that looks, both inside and out!!
That is fantastic for your health, congrats, enjoy your life!
Congrats on all of your successes. Sounds like you lost some dead weight, I know it may hurt but I'm sure you're better off without her.
great job on your weight loss. Some humans are so mean
I definitely believe Tiny needed a flunky to boost her self-esteem since her husband clearly destroyed hers. She needed something or someone to have control over, who idolized her, who saw her worth because she couldn’t get it from who she craved it from.
That’s it! You’re right!
Amen!
I definitely think Tiny used Shekinah to get ratings for that TV show she had. I always thought that friendship was unequally yoked.
Yup!!
Whoa this sums it up
Sometimes the friendships that we think we have with people are only in our minds and are just one sided. Let us experience a financial or personal crisis once in our lives and we will see who our friends truly are.
Now this is the message right here!! Plus family members is included in this too.
@@luckyjasss8466 You are absolutely correct! I actually started to type “relationships” in general then deleted and put friendships based on the topic. It’s with people in general
You just said a whole WORD! I never thought about it like that but mannnn you're right.
I've been reading this chapter since 2020....lawd
Preach! 🙌🏾👏🏾
From someone who has close connection to Shekaniah.. Shekaniah actually came up because she was a long time hair dresser for future and still is. Through his connections she became a celebrity stylist, so I want to make it clear Tiny did not put her in nor was she a “Flunky”. Now what I will agree with is that They both needed each other as an outlet and from an entertainment standpoint the reality show was some cute change. But don’t forget Shekaniah has her talent and that talent was known all through the east/ south side of Georgia!
This the one! Let’s not forget Shekinah was talented with or without tiny! Meeting tiny was a plus but her talent was going to get her far regardless!
I understand she is talented but most ppl know her because of the relationship with tiny
@@missjones8123 undoubtedly because of the reality shows. That goes without saying however, to say she was a flunky for lack of a better term is not true. Her exposure was with Tiny publicly, but her success was from owning a successful shop and doing hair of many well known celebrities. Let’s not forget Tiny was under the radar for a while.. so they both used each other.
She’s funny as I don’t know what ( naturally) you’re right! She made the show when they first started because she was funny. People don’t wanna talk about how they used her for ratings
It’s sad in our 30s and 40s we are still dealing with mean girls drama
Girl if this ain’t a mouth full
Mean Girls grow up to be Mean Women
@@Cappyfemale Amen My Sista, Amen!!!!! Playground bullies grow up to be workplace bullies!! I'm dealing with that now as we speak!! Meam spirited children are products of mean spirited parents. It's a vicious cycle.
@@watsonar70 I dealt with a workplace bully before and it sucks and feels like HS again. Another bw. Lesson learned. I thought we stuck together. Wrong!
🤣😂🤣😂🤣omg it’s crazy
Betrayal never comes from an enemy! It’s always from someone you love, or who you think loves you! It’s horrible coming from friends. Now imagine family‼️
Truth
💯💯💯
My cousin would do this to me. She had more support than me growing up financially. She never fought her own fights and used me. She would consistently go away with out me and I found out from a mutual friend she would laugh about how I couldn't afford it. The friends would want to hold me down she would get mad at the suggestion. All these years later we have ZERO relationship. If I got this game I would have cut her off in our twenties. She liked me struggling the minute I got myself together all she did was try to remind me of my broke 20's. It was a draining relationship and I am sooooo much better for getting my mental together to not let her in my space like that. I did need to heal and once I did it was so obvious
Omg, I had a cousin just like that too. . .but it didnt take me long to cut her off and I bossed up in my 20s, plus I always date better dudes than her so in the end, and just recently when I went home to visit, she attempted to try and mend the relationship but I spoke and kept it moving. I dont need that negative energy around me, I love her because she's family but I dont need or want her in my circle! 🤷🏽♀️
Bravo to you 👏🏿
We all have some family like this and it's sad because family is suppose to be there for you smh but GOD has the final say Chile.. glad u saw the real 💯
I’m happy I learned this relationship dynamic through blood . Also, God has a funny way of changing dynamics. As the old ppl say “KEEP LIVING.” To anyone who took that as an insult it is truly a gem I’m happy God gave me time to see!
I'm so glad you healed!!💙💙💙
I said this the WHOLE time! Shekinah was simply a worker to Tiny who added to her personality therefore she kept her around! This is why I have only a handful of REAL friends
I said the very same thing when this whole thing first took place. She was not her friend in the first place!!!
Absolute facts!
Exactly
I don’t have any and funny thing I’m fine with that I enjoy life
One thing I have to say… just because tiny is wealthy and attached doesn’t mean she’s “further ahead”. Tiny and spouse have a very hard time finding peace and everybody sees it. Different ways of life and different means sure.. but this measuring stick is really killing people. Love this message though!
Say this! TI and Tiny aren’t happy
Oh wow. That is a word. They have a hard time finding peace. It's true. Something isn't right about them. There is no way this much drama follows you if you're happy and living good. They are always involved in something always!
I agree, but monetarily isn't easy stick to measure with and I think the biggest point is that someone like tiny seems to be one of the people that uses this measuring stick. And I think it gives her a completely warped view of her life and the lives of others. Instead of being grateful for her friends support and loyalty she saw it as a weakness then exploited and judged her for it
Facts. To be true friends you have to love and respect that person for who they are. That has nothing to do with money. If money is the factor you aren’t real friends. Certain people bring peace and culture or whatever you admire to your life. W is giving great advice but it’s a bit superficial. Tiny is a user.
🎯🎯
You hit the nail on the head. They weren’t equally yoke. It’s apparent that TI looked at Shekinah like she was the help.
Yup as soon as he came home he was loud about how much he didn’t like her
I believe that wholeheartedly
@@214InnocentGirl20 you are so right. Tiny appeared to be oblivious how their friendship was dismantled by her husband view of HER friend.
Right and I believe it when she said he told her that to her face. For me that would've been the END of everything. A bitch that allows her man to down her so called friend ain't shit.
@@cmclayton1986 absolutely,cuz what’s NOT gonna happen is my friend’s man outright disrespects me and my friend is allowing it to happen so oh yes I would definitely end the friendship and moreover we fighting!!
My mother always told me to never tell anyone you're personal business People can use it to weaponize it against you No one should know all your business anyone can turn on you
That’s it!
The left hand don’t need to know what the right hand is doing…..my mother voice!
@@DShay-kz9fb fact’s
💯💯💯💯💯
Correct🎯
I braided hair for years and it wasnt until in my 30s that I realized that people will use you/ portray themselves as a friend to have that contact at their convenience. I was so hurt once I realized that a lot of these "clients" weren't really there for me as I would be for them. When you style hair, you counsel - take in energy so it is easy to get the lines blurred. I just wish that early on people would be more upfront with their intentions. Until then BOUNDARIES are how you prevent feeling how Shekinah is feeling now! Some peoples want for you ends when their needs STOP!
Child.....Ain't this episode on point?...I am also a hairstylist/braider..30 years in...and I don't miss those very same feelings early in the start of my career...for a few years I thought heavily about switching to a different talent.!!!.Then I learned it was my own foot that had to be put down to protect my feelings or expect a change. I considered if there would be any future in the connections I had made thus far ..tiring myself out for others benefit. It"s very true,It was not easy to sift out the real from the fake..as most of us starting in any profession often gather a clientele within family and neighbors before we actually pick up steam.Then before you know anything you have recommendations coming left and right...which is great business wise till everybody thinks they deserve family discounts for merely knowing your name and blessing us by sitting in our chairs...like Hello?!?...We all have rent and bills to pay...though.This is my job....Too many Hook-ups later...people never recognize how they drain your time and patience...like we're chopped liver or something..with no personal lives,When it was always our choice to draw the boundary .but out of aiming to please and doing the most to maintain relationships...We just exhaust ourselves..while the other folks go on without the same worries or care...Friendships as well...I hear Dineva...what's so broken in me? that mistreatment was ok...and discomfort became normal.Funny thing is I have always been better alone even in my chilhood years lol...just always worked better in peace and quiet..lol..too many players spoil the game..lol...lol..lol.. Friends are Overrated.
Amen to this. Well said. Boundaries, people, boundaries.
At least you learned.
And have the nerve to come up with the own payment plans! WTF. 2 conditioners 1 relaxer and 2 styles for 150. BITCH GET OUT!😂😂😂
i'm learning b now after 20 years doing hair
I am 28 years old and I'm so happy I learned this lesson at 25!!!! Having friends that call and vent all their problems but never call you to tell you good news! I love this message!!! 🥰
They drain you but do you even think to call on them when you need to vent? That's how you know it's a bogus friendship
I’m going thru this now but it’s so hard for me to let go bc I k ow she has no one else but it feels like I am drowning we talk
Or just to ask if u okay and need anything
@@chemisek2774 !!!!!!!!
It's called emotional dumping. It's good to have people to talk about hard times but some people take advantage and use their friends, particularly the empathic ones who listen, almost like a 24 hour garbage dump without ever planting anything good, as in no positive nourishment. So you end up wilting yourself if you keep allowing it 🥀
Shekinah may have a lot to say at times but she has always comes across HONEST. Her delivery may not be to some people's choosing but I feel for her. It's hard when you find out people you were once close to consider you expendable. Prayers and healing for her. 🙏🏾
💯💯💯
Very true!
Right Simone. And she was very loyal to Tiny eventhough she knew how Tiny's husband didn't 100% approve of their relationship.
I agree. Seems like it’s more of T.I. who interferes with their “friendship”
Great example of people pleasing, Don't be a rug for no one.
TRUST AND BELIEVE.
GOD'S HAND WILL WASH AWAY HER ILLS.
I just experience this at the age 30 with a childhood best friend and this hurt worst than the death of my mother. I confided with her about all life’s turmoil. The moment when I needed her the most when I lost myself in life I was so easily disposal to her. Since this happened I found myself more closed off to ppl than I already was. I ignored all the flags before because I admire ppl who are doing better than me or who posses qualities that I would like to develop but to her I was just somebody she could make a mockery of just to say how much better she was then me. It’s been 3 years and I still morn that friendship but like u said I just put my big panties on and moved on with life because ik for a fact she lost no sleep over it even though I have.
I can relate hon, I'm so sorry for your lost. Sending positive vibes to you from Belize 🇧🇿
I’ve been there. I learned to be wary of those new friends that say things like “ I only want positive people in my life. Or no negativity allowed. Or talk about manifesting energy or speaking life into things” sometimes those people are telling you that if you don’t adhere to those guidelines they don’t want you in their lives so if you are in a storm they will leave you. I mean who really goes through every bad experience with a positive outlook that’s a behavior that is learned and if your friends are too positive to grow with you and to support you as you stumble in life then you don’t need them so watch those positivity people some of them are just plain shallow self absorbed folks that talk a good game for appearances.
One thing I've learned about people such as that. Someone somewhere is treating them worse than they ever treated you that's how they learned it!!!!
Out
Sis, I feel we all needed this video. I never heard of a “toxic friend” until 2021. I am at the lowest point of my life right now. And the one I just knew would have my back no matter what walked out on me. It hurts but, God is going to harvest something beautiful from our pain. Much peace love and blessings to you Beautiful 🙏🏽💗💗
@@thegoose2724 hmm 🤔 … good point.
He just was on the radio calling her a parasite. Now I believe everything Shekinah said. And you’re right funky, if a female let a man treat her friend any kind of way she co-signs it.
100% but then again Tiny let’s any and everything slide when it comes to her husband. Tiny isn’t going to go against her husband . He did her and Toya the same way you barely see her with Toya
@@jadalajoy1957 she sure does. Remember when they had a show long ago, when he went to jail. and she was supposed to go out with her friends but he got so mad so she didn’t go but she went home? I said wow he’s so controlling even from jail.
Another telltale .... malicious and manipulative people will try to control how other people view you once they no longer have control of you. Usually by disparaging your name/reputation.
What is he supposed to say? Is he not supposed to defend himself and his wife? Smh her whole public rant was clout chasing. Tip and Berniece been over and Shekinah ain’t been her friend for months.
Girl, he called her a what...?! OMG. That is so low.
I tell my students this all the time: "She is not your friend because you are her free entertainment".
This is excellent
My mother always says “everybody that grin in your face ain’t your friend”
Best statement she gave me regarding “friendships”
Ti & tiny are Narcissist.. They are in the occult.. Listen to how they talk.. The things they say and do.. Then look up a narcissist.. You'll think me later
Thank*
@@kikiisfinallynarcfree501 Facts
Go where you are CELEBRATED and not TOLERATED. I felt that deep in my soul!!
She always comes across as honest. She gives me that ‘I try really hard, I’m a good friend’ vibe and it’s not reciprocated.
So, she may be that way to people who make her kiss they a$$, meanwhile she has genuine day ones that she probably treats like ish or even showed out when she thought she was coming up. Ok
Right
Agree with you and Shekinah was the girl of the street and taught Tiny everything about that life and they used her an abused her. She use to do their hair. It is a shame! You know how ppl are when you in the click don't no body want to mess with you and this is what Shekinah is going thru TI & Tiny has that power so all the clicks are on there side regardless of them being right or wrong.
@@a_ya_la thats y I stopped doing hair. N mines was my family! Had 2 bounce
Shekina's mistake was to not check Tiny and her husband out the gate.
I saw this on an episode of Dr. Phil. I’ve never forgotten it.
Warning signs that a friendship has become toxic:
•You feel bad about yourself after contact
•Your friend is unsupportive and even demanding
•Your friend is a taker
•The relationship is draining, unsatisfying and stifling
•There is unequal footing; You have no voice
•Your friend is unreliable
•There is a pattern of criticism
•There is little or no respect
FACTS!
Sounds like my ex!
Tiny was never her friend. Oprah and Gayle, friends over 30 years and Oprah is a billionaire. They are genuinely friends.
I loved EVERYTHING you said Dineva. Pay attention to how your friends 'friends' treat you. I also say NEVER give someone power to hurt you. Once they know they've broken you down, they gain power over you! Never let them see you sweat!! FOR REAL!
Yesss!! A tik toker said this!!
I had a military friend who was really a friend tell me that. She said never let them see you cry, and I keep this with me even know.
Bottom line, don’t be so desperate for friendship that you stay where you aren’t celebrated. If you know how good of a friend you are, be by yourself before you let someone use you. Go with love 🤍 God will bring the right ones into your life. Your family usually is the only consistent ones in your life; as an adult I understand this more.
Thanks so much for your post. I needed to hear your message because in the past I was the one desperate for friends that I will do anything to hold on to one. I got used so much and taken advantage of because I was lonely. People saw that and tried to capitalize on it.
Periodt
Yeah but family has always been that consistent bad friend for me Wich is why I don't do female friends
Family will put you in bad position, faster than those types of friends. Family even entitled when doing. How about value the relationship with yourself, God, and Jesus. Be happy with the blessing of having some decent in your life, because ppl are garbage, family included. Hope for the best and expect the worse.
Agreed!
21:14 hit me so hard in my chest. That WAS exactly me. At 40 I’m a loner now. I moved to Vegas over a year ago and haven’t even thought about making a friend. I left their ass back home in Louisiana and my 2nd home Houston and didn’t look back. I love being at home alone with positive vibes flowing through here. I’m so glad the negativity is out of my life. I mean it took me 20 years but I eventually learned. I know everyone isn’t like the old toxic friends I had but I’m just protecting myself from hurt.
It must be the 40!!!!!! I feel you!!!!
I’m 39 now. I feel the same way. I cut off family, friends etc. I need peace and people who have genuine sincere intentions
💯💯💯me @ 46 people have showed me in all these years !!!!
Yes!!!! I am 40 and a loner as well! I know what I want out of life and I would rather be with me fulfilled than settling for less than what I require out of friendships.
I’m 40 moved to Vegas 2 years ago and have not looked back to Louisiana or Houston either! Lol I travel, work, and enjoy life with no friends! High five to you!
My family treated me like this for my entire life. My own siblings that literally all came from the same situation as me turned their backs on me when I was left out. I'm the oldest and I did everything I could to help all of them at different points in their lives. They weren't treated the way I was, my family always treated me less than while supporting and uplifting them. There would be "family" gatherings, get togethers, and trips that I wasn't informed of or invited to, but any time they called on me for anything I was right there because "that's family", and all Iever wanted was for them to love me back. I used to think that me being there for them even though I knew I could never depend on them being there for me was me being the "bigger/better' person. Later I realized that it didn't make me the "better person", it actually made me a damn fool.
These situations are difficult when the people involved are acquaintances or friends, but when it's your blood family it's devastating because who else is going love you if the people you share DNA with treat you like crap?? It was difficult but I had to cut them loose and start taking care of myself. Instead of using my meager resources to be there for people that will never be there for me, I started saving whatever I did have for my own rainy days. There will come a time that I'm going to need help, and I know that my "family" are never going to be there for me in those circumstances. Alll they've ever done is make me feel bad about myself and hurt my feelings. I will never give them another chance to hurt me again.
I had to forgive them and move on with my life. They've never apologized or even asked for my forgiveness, they don't even feel like they've done anything wrong and that's okay. I didn't forgive them for their sake but for my own sake. The truth is they don't deserve my forgiveness, but at some point we're all hoping to be forgiven if it turns out that there is a God that can allow you into heaven or send you to hell. If we expect for God to forgive us, shouldn't we give that same consideration to the people that have hurt us??
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you're welcome back into my life. Forgiveness is this; even though you've hurt me, I don't hate you and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. It's I love you, but I don't trust you when you claim to love me because all you've ever done is hurt me. Forgiveness is, telling them no when they ask for your help because you need everything that you have for when you need their help and they're not going to do anything to help you even if they have it, because they've never done anything to help you when you needed them the most before. Forgiving them is letting them go and never allowing them to hurt you again. I will never stop loving my "family", and I wish that they loved me the same way that I love them, but you can't make people care about you. Being their flunky isn't going to make them feel in any way indebted to you, it only makes you look like a damn fool...
I just cut my whole family off for similar reasons, They purposely left me & children out after my mom passed away but only called when they needed a favor , some type of love, support & uplifting. I never received the same in return so I just ended it with no remorse!! I feel it was easier for me because I grieved the relationships secretly while still engaging with them. You are very strong and I wish you nothing but the best on your journey ❤❤❤
“How people around your so called friend treat you is a reflection of how how your so called friend feels about you.” 💯💯💯
That was a word and a damn half!
On point 👌🏿
FACTS!!!
Spot on. Tiny was never her friend. This was a relationship built on convenience. Friendship breakups can be devastating and I really hope Shekinah heals and finds her tribe. She is talented and worthy and I hope she moves on. Let’s energize her glow up with a whole lot of positive vibrations. “Love ain’t hard”!
Well said. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Bull. They were real friends. As with many true friendships, shit happens that destroys the bond. Same with family happens.
Exactly boom
@@DDavis-mi2cg , define friendship, people do out grow each other, yet some can remain cordial!
Relationships are not hard to maintain if one truly wants to be in the relationship. Yes, there will be hard conversations sometimes to be had, but if we are friends that too will work itself out!!
It's crazy how you say Tiny was never her friend yet she put her on several shows and gave her many opportunities to make a career. Shekinah blew it and then made it worse by going live on ig coked up. Look how she acts online. And you expected Tiny to put up with that? Smh...It's two sides to the story. . You wouldn't even know Shekinah if it wasn't for TINY.
I’m someone who likes to be around people who are doing better than me, because I don’t get intimidated. I see it as learning and inspiration. But if there is ONE thing I learned recently, is that some people who are PHYSICALLY doing better (financially, professionally, etc.) are in fact emotionally and mentally immature.
So while you’re being mature, learning from them, taking notes etc., their cocky immaturity is allowing them to look down on you and you don’t even know it. Be careful.
Funky is so underrated! He is clearly one of the realest, empathetic , truthful and fair person in media! He chooses right when it ain’t popular, that’s what real legends are made of! Keep it up Funky D!!!!!!!💪🏾💪🏾❤️
Well I’m married and I’ll speak on it. Marriage is NOT hard! I can’t even tell you that it takes a lot of hard work. You might be with the wrong person and/or married for the wrong reason but when it’s right, it’s easy like a Sunday morning! Im almost 19 years in and every day is like the best day ever with him. He’s my best friend and my favorite person in the world. We’ve never made each other cry except happy tears. Of course we disagree on things but because we love and respect each other then even our disagreements are with understanding and amicably discussed.
That’s beautiful God bless your Family 🙏🙏🙏
'Your' marriage is not hard and I love that for you. But as a fellow married person, my experience is sometimes it IS hard. Sometimes you don't like each other much, but you love each other so you work through it. Your near perfect marriage is the exception, but it's not the rule.
I agree
I love to hear this Kimmy! This is exactly how I want my marriage to be. 🙌🏾🙏❤️
How many people can say their spouse is their favorite person in the world? Not something you hear often, but this is how it should be. That means they really look out for you and love to see you smile. Two happy hearts reciprocating love. Thank you for sharing.
This was so good. The subject of friendship needs to be talked about more. We have to value ourselves more. When people show us who they are we really have to believe them and stop giving them so many chances to hurt us over and over again. I no longer allow it. I exit very quickly these days.
"Go to where you're loved. Go to where you're celebrated. How people around your friends treat you is a reflection of how your friends feel about you."🎯💯🙌🏾
I have always said this. If the people around your friends disrespect you, it’s usually because of how your “friend” feels about you
@@esilverline And talk about you to the other people behind your back.
Nw that within itself was a Word!!
I agree. The "You Knew" part was AF. Because it's true, I KNEW! 😔
Being authentic is taking over. The pandemic opened alot of perspectives up for people to see past superficial things. Flossing is corny.
Real corny 😴
yes taht is the blessing in this whole mess of a pandemic!
Yes! This is a move. The shift is shifting
My motto for all relationships is that loyalty should happen in and out of my sight. I always had "best friends" who didn't consider me a "best" anything. In 2022, keep that cut off games tight. Anyy body can go, mother, father, and siblings. We hold on to people who are seasonal and temporary. I can't stand to be friends with people who can not disagree without being nasty with their words and actions. Some things you cannot apologize for later. Additionally, I hate passive aggressive insults justified as "jokes." When it happens address it immediately and reevaluate your position in that person's life. Authentic relationships should flow naturally. If you have force yourself to be around someone who is constantly toxic cut them off without notice or explanation. Never kiss someone's ass to get along with their face.
I’m not going to lie I love the reality breakdowns you use to do… but this new chapter in your life I actually love it… real GROWN people talks of difficult conversations I even watched it twice cause you hit home.. especially the last 5 mins ❤️
I watched the WHOLE thing twice!!! Love the new direction as well, I’m over the reality show crap.
I watched twice as well and those last 5 minutes had me feeling real humble… “You knew.” *whew* A word!
Watched it twice too - felt like my momma was checking me “you knew”
He growing up right before our very eyes. From a boy to a man...🥲
That’s how I feel about Shaunie & Tami. Shaunie was never her friend. Great video 💕
NEVER!!!
Amen 🙏🏾 I knew and felt that on the episode where Tami found out the Evelyn slept with her ex husband and Shaunie basically forced evenlyn to tell her at dinner
For sure!!!!
Nope she sat back and laughed at her with Jennifer and Evelyn smh
He made a video about them around 2018/2019
I love you and your platform. This was a powerful and positive message that most people wish they learned earlier in life.😢❤
Friendships shouldn’t feel mean, shady, fragile, unbalanced, or possessive in that way. Like you said, you know. It can take years to accept but sadly you had all the signs from the beginning. I had to learn that through a lot of loss, but I’m glad I did.
Perfectly stated 👌 my sentiments exactly
I can relate..but this peace i have !!!
Exactly!
I agree, the way TI treated Shekinah publicly is a reflection of how Tiny felt about her privately. I feel sorry for Shekinah and hope she heals.
This made me cry! I was just thinking about reaching out to an old friend. She stopped talking to me all of a sudden and wouldn't tell me why. Idk why my spirit was perplexed to reach out to her. It's been 2 yrs! And then this video pops up in my feed. And I didn't expect this message so now I'm crying! And I'm saying good bye to my friend (in spirit) again, for good. THANKYOU Q FOR THIS VIDEO! ❤
The same thing happened to me with my childhood best friend it still hurts every time I think of her.
“Go where you are loved” “Go where you are celebrated”
Hey Funky, this comment might get lost but whatever direction you choose to go with the journalism, I'm here for it. I've been a fan since 2014 and you're great at what you do, it truly is your gift.
Agree!!
You are making a lot of sense. I am new to your channel. I will keep watching.
Stop women shaming when you want to be us!
This is how I felt in my 15 year friendship. As soon as the playing field was even…I became a problem…
Friendship is based on support , reliablity , companionship. A Friend not necessarily your colleague, nor intellectual or professional equal. A friend is someone who gives support regardless of status
Great message 👍
Agreed!
Amen 👏👏
Facts💯💯💯💯
Right
I’ve always felt like their friendship was exactly as you described. She was the butt of the jokes and Tiny’s side kick.
Thsi reminds me of the Lisa V and Brandy friendship on RHOBH.
Me, myself, and I
That's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gon' be my own best friend.
#Beyonce
💪
💯
SPEAK THOSE LYRICS BBY!!!
Facts of LIFE.
I'm an elder, this young man is teaching a great lesson. Listen now or be hurt greatly later. I learned late. Painful stuff.
I usually agree with you, but not on this one. TI didn’t need Tiny’s permission to disrespect Shekinah- look at how he’s disrespected Tiny and his daughters over the years. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually has talked sh!t to Mrs. Diane before. He has no respect for women. Tiny clearly has low self esteem and is male identified so she wasn’t willing to defend/protect her friend. I don’t befriend misogynistic women with low self-esteem because they’ll always betray you and can actually be dangerous to be around.
THIS! The DANGEROUS BLACK MALE IDENTIFIED PICK ME!🙊
I totally agree for I was thinking that. Tiny did everything possibly to garner attention & continued love from Tip, how much more would she stand up for a friend called Shekinah who really is not on their caliber? Smh. Even still that friendship was one sided which I feel deep down shekinah knew. She overlooked signs but reality struck her when Tiny forgot her when Sabrina was on their tails.
Wheeew chyle!!!!!! This is the one
My sediments exactly. Tiny has low self esteem so she needed Shekinah to make herself feel better. You're right about Tiny never checking TI. TI continues to disrespect Tiny and the other women in the family. He knows Tiny's never going to leave him so why should he put forth any effort to be a decent human being.
This is why I’ve never been a person that needs friends. I’ve witnessed this behavior on so many occasions and it’s sad. That title is thrown around so frequently and majority of the time it’s a one sided situation.
No worst feeling than to think someone is a friend who's not. Tiny and her husband referred to her as the help. They treated Shekinah poorly because Shekinah stayed around. Shekinah should have ended that relationship long time ago. I would have just did her hair and moved forward with my life. Stand up for yourself. Never allow someone to disrespect you. That should never be for sale. Shekinah will heal. 2022 just started. No where to look but up from here!
I keep telling my son this learn to be your own bestfriend first! Learn and observe ppl because we sometimes outgrow ppl.
Perfectly 😍 Put . . .
Chillllleeeeeeee 🙄😒😯
You’re absolutely right , she will heal , I wish that age didn’t vent online . . .
Age was supposed too be SHE^^=
Discernment is key. I let go of relationships when I feel used or “not celebrated.” People are vultures and only around when they can swoop in to get something.
Amen sista! Amen!
So true !!! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
This is a word I receive !!!! I receive it!!!!!!!!
Being used is such a FUCKED UP feeling. I've been there...I might have to cut a friend off because of this.
TI know who to talk about or go after. I bet you he won't ever talk sideways with Kandi. That being said, I'm glad Kandi tried to help Shekinah get her own show despite her friendship with Tiny. Kandi always seem to be the person who wants to see everyone win.
Funky Dineva, thank you. This video message really hit home for me in such a way to where it’s gut punching for me. In all my 41 years of life, I’ve been the butt of jokes, the one who was left out, the one most people dumped all their problems on & not once saw about me to see if I was ok. Now I have to finally see myself in the eyes of others & draw the conclusion that I wasn’t that friend, loved one, lover that was left to fend for self. Truth of the matter is it hurts, bad! So for 2022, my absence is gonna be felt. 😭😭😭😭
Please protect and value yourself. It is going to be the best thing and watch how much your life changes, how many doors open and opportunities come your way.
I wish you abundant blessings on your journey! 💜💜💜
OMG!!! This was ME also! I'm older & I'm STILL learning! Just know you are NOT alone!
OMG...this is/was me for so long. I wish you lived near me, I'd definitely be your friend.
@@missunderstood355 Me too!
@@missunderstood355 Ditto
I finally let go of an 18 yr friendship with a frienemy. Now that it's over, I can look back and see all the low key hater things she did and said. Crazy part is, I don't miss her. Just goes to show, sometimes we force relationships and we didn't even know it. I honestly feel free.
I can definitely relate. Mine was a 30 year relationship that went on about 20 years too long.
@@ddavis818 yeah same, went on abt 10 yrs too long. Smh now I have to move on from remembering the bad things!
I can relate. This was mean. And I'm glad they're gone. My life has been better
Ditto, bravo for moving on! I have recently removed a frienemy as well. All I can think of is Drake..."Ive been losing friends and finding peace."
@@tgreenwood3193 whew! A word!
ALL OF THIS!!!! Thank you for this. I honestly believe this should be played for high schoolers...especially girls...to prepare them for relationships both platonic and romantic. Jesus this touched my soul!! I like this new direction you're moving in and I'm so here for the ride!
I heard Bishop T.D. Jakes say in a sermon recently, “Relationships can only survive to the degree where there is reciprocity.” The reciprocity was unbalanced in Tiny & Shekinah’s relationship from the very beginning. Tiny needed someone a little beneath her & unfortunately Shekinah filled that role all while providing her talents/skills for free. Shekinah probably felt the friendship was real, but as soon as she stepped out of line and grabbed a little light of her own, the dynamic changed. She found out the friendship wasn’t all that she thought it was.
I always wondered why all of my friends who had a separate friend group didn’t like me; This is across two different friends. I could never get it until i got into it with one of my “friends friend” and she said and I’ll never forget she said “ it’s funny to me that you doin all this and don’t know what your “friend” is saying about you” and I looked at MY friend and she went off on her friend. Now we were teens but I see now she was trying to shut her up and now at 32 I’m like ohhh now I see why I could never be friends with any of my homegirls friends..they talked shit about me. It’s crazy how hindsight can be 20/20
I learned this lesson in my early to mid 20s, I’m 34 now. I have 3 people in my life I call friends. And none of them I have known in my childhood or college. Having these people in my life has shown me the people who I was friends with for 10+ years were really not friends. I really want Shekinah to heal and let Tiny go because Tiny don’t care about her.
I'm a pisces and 34 also 3/20. I don't have any friends at all lol. My inner family are my only friends. Quality outweighs time and history.
I always felt like Tiny wasn’t her friend and you could tell that T.I. didn’t care for her too much either.
You could always tell how they both felt about her. Tiny treated her like a flunky. That’s not how friends behave…
When he said “you knew”, it definitely took me back to a time where I had a childhood friend that said and did questionable things to me. She would gaslight me when called out on it.
I knew something wasn’t right about it but I thought that’s how friends were.
My mother was a narcissist so she would passive aggressively sabotage me and gaslight me when I stood up for myself. Once I figured out why I took that mess, I cut it off.
They both still talk and I know it’s about me. I knew how they were treating me wasn’t right but I ate it because of how I was raised from abuse.
The dots do connect and once you wake up to one thing, you’re on to another.
That "you knew" part was accurate AF!
@@alfdallas21 Fr he was hitting my soul lol
He said all the things we thought about but couldn’t admit until it was too late!
“ oh no girl I didn’t mean it like that. I said that out of what I might or might not have been going through at the time “ 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
@@joyceg7859 they stay saying that too. My ex friends excuse was that she was pregnant lol nah you meant what you said😭 and being pregnant don’t make you invite everybody else but me to hang out with you.
I'm so sad that this narrative rings true the most for alot of us. I'm angered that it was planned out to make us feel that way.
Let me just applaud your growth. You have inspired so many with your transparency, funny anecdotes and everything. I love the direction you’re going in. You better let God use you and keep inspiring the people. We appreciate you Q! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
This comment is gold!! And I agree wholeheartedly 💯💯✊🏾✊🏾🥰🥰
@Keeping it Real With Just Jay. 👏👏👏👏 Absolutely!
💯💯
Yes
This is so true. My Ex Best friend did this to me. Her Man started talking crazy to me one evening and she did not check him. She had been talking about me behind my back to him and others just dirty. That ended our 11 year friendship. Turns out afterward I realized how much she talked down to me and thought she was better than me.
What she say to you.
This happened to me too and the “girl” tried coming back acting like everything was cool after unfriending me off of Facebook and shading me, guess what? Her and her “baby dad” are not together and she burned Bridges with other friends too she’s gotten more karma but I’m not going into that
@@dickersonr6172 with this girl I used to be friends with she had to unfriend me off of Facebook just to shade me she called me a p**** and said she needed new friends 😂😂😂 she was talking crap about me to her boyfriend and people I use to be friends with
Oh wow!! Never ever ever ever in life wld I allow my man r anybdy else for that matter tlk to my friends Reckless,that’s crazy smh 🤦🏾♀️
I grew up as an only child and was very dependent on my friends growing up. I always valued our friendships more than they did and that was reflected by the effort each of us put into the relationship. When I accepted that there wasn’t genuine reciprocity I cut off those friends and began my journey of self discovery. I travelled, met new people, tried new experiences, lost weight, and improved myself. I grew to love myself more and prayed that God would send me like-minded friends and He did. My platonic and romantic relationships now are so much healthier and fulfilling. I always say you attract the best when you’re at your best (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially). When you truly love yourself and don’t depend on external sources for internal validation you naturally will set standards and boundaries and dismiss anyone who doesn’t adhere.
Wake it up sis 💯🔥
Well said! I had virtually the same experience. Good for you.
yeess!!
Amen sis!
Mia you said a word ! I’m a loner by nature as a only child .. I treated people soo good and was hurt by the best .. NEVER again .. I have cut off 15 year and 20 friendships. After 2021 new beginnings ♥️2022
A lot of ppl today do not know how to be friends and friends are hard to come by. It’s lonely but I choose to be my own friend and don’t give nobody no handouts earn my love my time🤷🏾♀️
Your description is everything! Yes, finding people in your life, that align with you is actually healthy living! It keeps you even in the mind💖
🎯
Aaaaamen Queen!!!
So true.
This was a word! I’ve had friends that I had been friends with since 3rd grade who had zero grace with me when I suffered a 2nd trimester miscarriage. The one time I, the “strong one”, needed to be handled with kid gloves, I couldn’t get what I have always given without having to be asked. I haven’t spoken to them in 3yrs and don’t plan on changing that. One thing I am truly thankful for is my ability to shut shyt all the way down real quick, no hesitation. When people show you who they are, believe them! History is history for a reason. Make your decisions based on how treat you NOW, not THEN!
This is a fact
I am so sorry,girl ! Omg I could never imagine and I am so sorry that those so called friends weren't there for you at that grieving time ! Fuck them . Hope you're healing and happy ,if not then I wish all the best for you on your healing journey 💛
@@prettyinink1661 thank you so much, dear heart ❤️
🤔 “Friends are far and few .” Truth well spoken 👍
Some ppl like to have “friends” who aren’t doing as good as them, around just to make themselves feel better about themselves because even though they may have everything, they are still miserable!
I just discovered this about a friend I’ve had over 17 years. As long as I was a reckless mess that couldn’t sustain a relationship she was right by my side riding shotgun…..once I stabilized myself have a amazing man got pregnant and had a baby in the last year I’ve probably heard from her twice throughout the entire transition….and when i did it was shady undertones. It was hard to accept she wasn’t happy for me but she’s not and the gag is she’s married been married for 20+ years!!!
When I was young I hung out with a group of girls that I thought was cool and in my mind more popular. I noticed I would dumb myself down and never really dress up because I noticed it made them uncomfortable and they would try to publicly shame me with “jokes” when I got so called attention. I took it because I just wanted to belong. One year I got tired and decided to be me. The way those girls started talking about me even shocked me. They liked me around because they thought I was “beneath” them.
Her pain was undeniable , I felt it . I hope she heals.
My dad always told me, you are a leader
not a follower and that always stuck with me and I thank him....
Good dad.
Shekinah was a “Do Girl”. She was the one to pick up the weed, go get the food,pick up stuff when Tamika couldnt or knew better to ask her Real friends to play assistant. TI never respected Shekinah from her first episode of Family Hustle. One thing i’ve learned is once you confide in your nigga that you dont really care for somebody,he will go out his way to run that person off for you. I’ve seen it a million times. I cant stand TI or Shekinah BUT I see how each of them feel about one another: To TI,Shekinah has ALWAYS been a liability and he was right. To Shekinah,they absolutely did use her because like you said all she had was services to offer.
You are becoming the wise old lady sitting under the tree and I love it. You are speaking from the heart and love is kind.
Shekinah had a light that some people don’t have and want to be around but are jealous of you having it. I’ve had people jealous of me but had more things than me. I realize they were because I was living my life on my own terms and for some reason they couldn’t or wouldn’t and were jealous. Like I tell everyone don’t hate on me cause you can always be like me, living life and loving it
When they called her "the help" that should have been a wake up call, for how they really saw her. But it's easier said than do, especially if you have low self esteem.
Shekinah offered something to Tiny...a grounded-connection to the "real world she was raised in. Although Tiny obtained a celebrity lifestyle, Tiny still appreciated the everyday lifestyle in some form. Shekinah represented that.
I had a cousin like that. As long as I was able to help her with her business. Baby sit her kids .. I was good . As soon as I started working and making money . She couldn’t use me and we fell out
Yup I had a friend like that. I don't have any kids so she thought I was going to pick her kids up from school everyday. When I switched jobs and started going out more it was a problem.
She stayed to long. It's a shame she's just realizing that they're not her friends. She's got a lot of growing up to do. Always choose discernment!
This is a long one so thanks in advance for reading.
Okay, I had a friend in middle and h.s that was not popular and was even disliked, because of her defensive attitude about how she looked. We went to 2 different schools and she always wanted me to come to her school for different events because that was the only time she got any attention. Her main problem was that she had a very low self esteem because she has a dark complexion. I didn't get it because I never really paid much attention to the dark v.s light skin controversy because I don't consider myself either one. I have medium brown skin and my hair is long and curly so if a guy from her school really liked me or if we went out and I got more attention, she'd say something like, "He just likes you because you're light skinned with long hair" which used to irk the shit out of me because I'm not light skinnned. I've always loved my brown skin but I would also always give her compliments and try to help her with her self esteem issue. I thought that she was pretty but because of her low self esteem, she had a bad attitude, which made her ugly. Once we graduated, she immediately got a decent paying job, while I was going to school and struggling on a minimum wage job. She was able to buy a car and move out of her mother's house, while I still stayed at home and drove my parents' cars. That's when our relationship really changed. She met another girl, who worked with her, who really was light skin, with long hair, as well. It started with them going out shopping without me. Then one Christmas, I was out shopping with her and she bought this other girl, that was friends of the new friend that she met at work and someone that she barely knew, a pair of $150 leather boots. This girl was biracial but what really impressed her was that she was messing with a married man that was paying all her bills and giving her whatever she wanted. That same Christmas, she bought me a shirt, that was clearly out of season and obviously from the sales rack. The shirt was an XS, which was too small so I took it back to the store that she told me it came from, which was an expensive boutique in the mall. Those people took one look @ that shirt and told me that it wasn't theirs, then pointed me to a discount store a couple of doors down. I walked in that store and immediately saw the same shirt on a clearance rack, for $10 and all was left was XS's. This, after I had bought this bitch a whole microwave. To this day, she probably has no idea that I found out where that shirt was really from and what it costed. Then she and her friend would go out without me and when they did pick me up, the energy was so weird that I could tell that they had been talking about me. The final straw was when I had cut back hours at work to concentrate more on school. One day I mentioned an all white party that someone was throwing from my college. The day of the party, I didn't hear from her. The next day she called me all excited, telling me about the wonderful time she and her other friend had at the party. When I asked her why she didn't call me, she told me that she didn't think I could afford to buy something to wear, just for a party because I had just cut my hours at work. I went off. I told her not to ever count what's in my pockets because that's not her place nor concern. I had never depended on her to buy me anything or pay my way into anywhere so I didn't understand how she felt she had the right to decide if I could afford anything, let alone a new outfit. I worked at Macy's for goodness sakes. I use to get her clothes. Not to mention that I had plenty of stuff in my closet, with tags on them, just waiting to be worn. I finally told her to lose my number. My sister never could stand her and said that that chick was always jealous of me...jealous of my home life, with good parents, that both loved me, while she had a father who couldn't care any less about her nor her mother and a very abusive mother, who hated her for it and favored her younger brother because his skin was lighter. She was also jealous of my looks and my personality but for whatever reason, I felt so sorry for her that I ignored it.
Fast forward many, many years later to a few months ago. I saw her at the mall, while I was looking for a present for my niece and it was more than obvious that the years had not been very kind to her. She looked rough, ragged and worn out. The fool had the nerve to run up and hug me, like nothing had happened and even tried to exchange numbers. Girl, Bye. I am a full grown woman, now and I'm sure that we no longer have anything in common. I also know that she now knows that she will NEVER find another friend like I was to her.
Thanks for reading.
This story is similar to mine, but I was the poor dark skinned girl and she was the light skinned girl who then became friends with an even more lighter skinned girl who was a popular get into any party, didn’t care about anybody chick. I got booted right out of the picture. Looking back I think it was the proximity to light skinned that made me look overlook the messed up things she would say and do. And I think that was Shekinah, she saw value in herself because she was friends with Tiny.
I can see why she took a step back… your ego is glaring in your story and you don’t seem to see it. You described her like you was doing her a solid. You don’t think she felt that? People like to be around people that make them feel good around. Something in your behavior that didn’t make her feel good and the new person was a fresh start. Throwing a compliment her way when you are explaining how she was treated by others probably didn’t help her self esteem. She probably felt you were saying it just to be nice. The fact that you bring up your complexion, curly hair and getting the attention sounds off. When you are young insecurities are real af, but you saw her years later a woman that appeared to you to have moved on, but down and yet you seem to relish in her L. Why not ask her why? Clearly the length of your comment feels like there still hurt there. Why not heal that by confronting it? Even if no rebuild of a friendship came from it.
@@kckrox6911 You misunderstand. Arimas gave the backstory of looks for context. Her "friend" is the villiain here, which is why she still embraced Arimas years later.
@@ladybuggrenee2920 Thank you.
Lol, Is that what you gathered from my post? 😁You got it ALL wrong. I never made her feel bad about the way she looked because I thought that she was actually a pretty girl... on the outside. I use to compliment her all the time. What made her ugly was her mouth and her defensive and sometimes offensive attitude. Anybody would tell you that I love dark skin and the darker the better. I love skin colors from all over the spectrum but I've always been more attracted to darker skin. She was the one who didn't like her skin color and she had a very nasty attitude towards others because of it. I can't tell you how many fights I had to de-escalate because of her nasty attitude. Believe me, the way she felt about herself had nothing to do with me. She's had that problem long before we even met. That was between her and her mother. If I was the problem them why is it that I had all the friends and she didn't? In fact, all my other friends use to ask me, why was I friends with her and I couldn't explain it. I guess it was because she was a good friend to me, at first but gradually things began to change. What I gathered from the situation is that she was too wrapped up in skin color and my brown skin had become old news, when those light skin chicks started befriending her. Then she probably let them get in her head, complaining that I didn't have the money to keep up with their life styles. I don't know but If I was as bad as you just explained, then she wouldn't have run up, hugged me and tried to exchange numbers? If it was me that was the bad friend then she would have spoken and kept it moving. Don't judge people based off of a long paragraph because you don't really know the whole story. The reason the post was long is because it's a long ass story and I like going into full detail when I explain my experiences so you can get a good picture. Trust me, I've been over it and I never gloated or reveled in her or anyone else's downfall. In fact, I don't even know her situation. She could be filthy rich for all I know but she looked like she has led a very fast pace life style, like she'd been rode hard and hung out to dry, when I saw her. She was probably trying to be like her two friends and tried to play some guy for his money and he done took her ass 'down through there', as they say.
You are speaking volumes right now….. I just had an conversation with my daughter about this exact situation. It’s not hard to be in a friendship. Friendships should be easy, free flowing. If you have to work hard to be in a friendship that’s not a real friend. My friend circle is very small for this exact reason. Honey preach ❤️
You can tell she’s in pain, being in equally yolked relationships are important
I never heard anyone talk about this subject like this, let me give you a round of applause sir 👏👏👏👏 because you said nothing but the truth 💯 . I haven't had friends in years, because most people are really selfish, and I ain't got time for it. You really do have to be equally yoke with who you want to be friends with. Great advice
Oh you SAID SOMETHING on here on this day hunny!!! 🙌🏾
This resonated with me on so many levels. I’ve been where Shekinah is, but my situation wasn’t an “unbalanced” relationship; our status quo was almost identical. BUT the red flags were exactly what you described: she treated me differently around other people, than she did when it was just me and her. I ignored it for a while until the wall came tumbling down. It hurt for a while, but then I honestly felt a sense of relief. Shekinah has to accept “what is”, grieve about it and move on.
I completely agree
When somebody treats you like that when y'all are still evenly yolks, it's called jealousy. And just because y'all have the same material things don't think that means that y'all have the same things internally. She sensed something about you and was bothered
I do think Shekinah is hurt. The problem I have is, when you were in the circle, you went along to get along and used her celebrity to help you. Shekinah should've let that end when the rumors started about their show being canceled cause TI felt like Shekinah was getting all the shine. As the old folks say where there's some smoke, theirs some fire. I hate that she's hurt, but I wish that she would heal in peace. Tinys circle ain't gone change, her people are still gone ride for her. Right now Shekinah looks like the bitter ex friend. I want Shekinah to win, but jer antics outside of this situation are just too much at times. I always liked her better than Tiny anyway. Shekinah go heal, and come back better than ever.
Well said
This was triggering for me because I struggled for 5 years after I got out the military I had to lose weight and get my money up bc I wasn’t folks cup a tea when I fell off so it was hard for me to get close to people .. because I have seen who people are when I fell on my bad times..so I started building my life for ME❤️ hoping for healing for Shekinah 🌹
“She needed a flunky”.... sums up that particular relationship perfectly.
IRL, from the outside looking in, I’m always curious about the self-esteem of people I see who are in the power position, who “date down”. To have to constantly wonder, “does this person REALLY like me for me” has to be a mentally taxing.
All of this!!!
🔥🔥🔥
How long were they friends? We’re they friends before the fame?
I was a flunky too.... I saw the signs.... but the nail in the coffin was when I got got covid. She didn't look out for me, but I always looked out. I don't call her, she calls me.... I'm cordial but it will never be the same....
@@amberhi874 aside from a precious few, I’ve always had lopsided relationships/friendships. My mother saw it early and told me to stop being people’s “burden bearer”, I told her I got strong shoulders I can handle it but over the years I’ve accumulated a few bags myself and could use someone to lighten my load but there’s hardly anyone in sight 😔
I love when you said that the way “your friends’” spouse treats you is a reflection of how they “your friend” feel about you when you’re not around. #ThatPart !!! When you said “Know your place and earn your spot” I heard that in Mc Debra’s voice.
This hurt to listen to because it’s a harsh lesson I had to learn over time and I’m still learning! Most of my life I’ve been the flunky friend to very pathological narc people. Whether I had more money or not, it didn’t matter to them. They were stuck in ego and overcompensating for their lowly socioeconomic status. I learned the hard way to choose those who are capable of love and who have a lot going for them as opposed to those who are damaged and need a scapegoat. 💡
People need to realize that friendships are relationships. Your friendships, just like romantic relationships, should be equally yoked. Therapy has taught me that and so much more about myself and those in my social circle.
Tiny saw Shekinah like the 1/2 white woman she is…she saw her as ‘The Help & Never The Equal! Hopefully Shekinah will heal from this & let this be a lesson for ALL Black Women in regards of our relationships…If your ‘friend’ throws shade, They Are NOT nor Ever Be a Friend!💯
I have rewatched this video several times; not so much because I am actively going through this situation, but because of how it was delivered so alloquently with compassion and love, and how well it resonated with this audience.
I'd like to see a part 2: What happens when you level up or "earn your spot" in these relationships and they begin to treat you indifferently/hate on you.
Excellent topic for part 2!!!🖤💐👍🏿
I have as well it was an interesting conversation.
This is why you can't fool with everybody on a too personal of a level. I'm not your comic relief at my expense, Nor your body guard or your punching bag. The word friend is used entirely too loosely in the entertainment world heck the world in general. Y'all be safe though
I so feel you on that sentiment hence why I’m VERY selective in who I have in my life
Know who you are telling your business too. Take it to the river if need be. Sometimes the people you think you trust the most are the ones spilling your business. I feel you know who got your back exactly what Q said towards the end. "You knew,"
This definitely hit home. I was disowned by my family as a child because I was gay. So my friends were my family. The one person I considered to be my bf turned out to be a snake. It hurt me to the core because that was my brother. I can't tell you how much I've done for this person to find out that behind my back, they were dragging me. But looking back, some part of me always knew but chose not to see because of the love I had for this person. But you live and you learn.💯
So sorry family can be crazy,your a important human and it's there loss.
Join the *real World 🔪💔
Have you ever thought about doing a motivational podcast where people can call in and get advice from you? To see you stepping into your calling is an amazing sight.
I realized a long time ago that people don't live luxurious lifestyles for themselves. It's always about other people. People want that attention and validation. They fish for compliments. People continue to place value on everything that is just surface level. People love feeling like they're superior to you. It doesn't matter how great of a person you are. People love having control in relationships. People will pull out every trick in the book to hold on to you, even if it means throwing your bad circumstances in your face. I have my own mind. I'm not a yes person. I'm not an ass kisser. I'm not an ego stroker. I'm not going to agree just because you're my friend. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear just because you're my friend. If you want that in a friend, I'm not the one for you. I have no issue ending a friendship if I have to. I always pay attention to how people treat me and others. For me, that's what it's about, not that superficial shit. Mutual respect and boundaries should exist in relationships.