From the perspective of a man who was the next relationship: be sure you're over your ex because you may just hurt someone else. The woman I was seeing had been abruptly dumped by her ex after two years together. Nearly a year later, and after seeing me for two months, two days before Christmas, broke down saying she still missed the guy and wasn't ready for a relationship. She said we'd stay in touch, but haven't heard from her since, and I have reached out. Needless to say, I've experienced the entire range of emotions.
You shouldn't have reached out, it was her who wanted space from you and you have to respect that. She will not respect you for allowing her to "stay in touch" after being romantic and going back to her ex. It's all about approval and validation when it comes to women. If they know they can fully have you and for sure run you over they do not want you because it is boring and no challenge any longer. Somehow in the past I knew this subconsciously but not consciously until a cpl years ago. Women are more attracted to men who are "unsure" and or mysterious. Make yourself a challenge for women and never reach out after them letting you out of their grasp...they have to win you back. Most women do not even understand this about themselves...at least not on the conscious level.
I experienced a similar situation, her ex dumped her only a few days before we started talking, I knew it since the beginning but I wanted to see how far we could go. That was a huge mistake because I was falling for her harder and faster than her while she was still missing him and processing after her break up. I will never wait for someone who is not ready for me again. It's an hard pill to swallow but believe me it becomes harder and harder the more you wait and build hope onto something which started wrong. Don't get to attached if you see red flags, and believe that if you two are meant to be you will met again when both of you will be ready to build something greater than you ever imagine. Don't wait till you're broken to start putting yourself first, you are your priority.
Harlowe79. . This is very important, never, never ever date another person while still in grief for your ex. It carries a lot of baggage and causes hurt for the other person, it’s real unfair. Thi is called Rebound relationship. Very dangerous for everybody.
Just to give credit to the origin of the quotes. It actually came from T. E. Lawrence in the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia, when he was performing this trick of extinguishing a match with his fingers. The original scene was also played in the more recent film "Prometheus".
This is what's wrong with people. They don't allow themselves to heal from the past. And have the next person deal with the consequences. watch out for these type of people.
Josué Efigenio Yeah I really think people should be alone for awhile after each relationship to sort of "reset" themselves afterwards. Otherwise there's just tons of baggage that comes into it.
Josué Efigenio yep.. those are major red flags. Everyone I know is telling me to get back out there.. why? It's not even been 3 months. This is the time when you look inward and try to improve yourself in every way you can. Love thyself.. ya feel?
Josué Efigenio and every single one of those relationships will fail miserably. If you don't give yourself time to heal fully, and jump to dating someone else, that is the beginning of a failing relationship from the get go.
A lot of relationship experts/couches simply repeat the same stuff over and over again. However, Matt somehow always manages to look deeper and find unique things to say to every person.
It also helps if you have a life to go back to. You should always keep your own interests, hobbies, activities going after you enter into a relationship. That way, if it doesn't work out, you can move back into your own life as you heal.
Gioya McRae The problem with this is that my life was very different when I got into a relationship compared to after a breakup. During the course of the relationship I gained and lost friends (problems happened that had nothing to do with the relationship) as well as interests that I would've picked up or lost, with or without the relationship. I don't think there's anything anyone can do other than build a new life for themselves, especially if their relationship was a long one. There usually isn't any going back to the life you had before you got into a relationship because you were a different person at that point in your life.
@@xTwilightWolvesx people change all the time, even with their friends. They improve as well fall down, it's just a matter staying an individual and being around positive people who love and care for you even if it may be some of the people who you knew while being in an old relationship. They will change along with you if you lead.
Makeupbyemmylouu I’d like to as you did you compare in your head (e.g., thoughts) and/or did you verbalize these comparisons to the people you were dating?
I'm going through a break up too. I'm lucky I dont have any reason to see them. It takes time but it gets better day by day. I stopped over analyzing the situation just accepted the fact that he didn't love me.
Really? I kinda wish I had the same circle as my ex. But we’re different. Different hobbies, different friends, different jobs, lives across town😞 I wish I’d run into him
@@LifeIs2Kewl2013 don't stalk, respect his wishes to not be with you and then maybe he'll call you but don't hope for that. Just do your thing and meet new people, it absolutely may be for the best and you may be a way better as well more interesting person than he is. Fact is when some men have other options they take it and realize later what a big mistake it was especially when the women who did them right will not take him back because she finally realized that. Then again he could have been a good man that you neglected and has moved on.
It's the same we almost one year right now but suddenly he send a message and say good bye to me for just small reason means he ddnt realy love me.. I don't even reply on his message maybe because I'm in shock that time, I ddnt do anything wrong with him.. I love him so much. What I did at the same time is directly I block his number from some apps that were communicating. Everyday. Too hard but I have to do it for my self, to heal the my broken heart as well crying every minute to give me to become more stronger person these time I'm still hoping and praying that soon the broken heart will heal fast God is will why is happen all those things has. A reason why I'm struggling like these💔🙏💖
I'm ALWAYS going to love my ex. She became part of my life and always will be. She is with someone else now and it seems to be going well and I want to be happy for her. The pain lingers though, along with the good memories and the bad memories and times when things weren't going well. I've tried suppressing the pain by working on myself by getting fit again. The pain still comes and goes. I loved that last pearl of wisdom. "You have to not mind that it hurts."
Lord what a beauty! He's bulked up I see...anyway, can't get distracted from the message of the story. After a heartbreak you have to re-invent yourself. You might find a lot of change in yourself. You might cut your hair, be more flirtatious, or pray more. You're going to change for the better. Just be in the present, take life seriously because spending those days in bed when you could've been out enjoying life is going to bum you. Take time to heal, cry, express how you feel...so writing, music, painting, poetry, will be perfect tools. Don't worry. Life gets better. Breakups are a test. X
You are a wise woman!! Have you ever met Matt in person? I was struck by how cameras completely fail to capture his radiant warmth and the kindness in his eyes. He is so much less intimidating and more approachable than one would think, to see him looking like a Calvin Klein model in these videos. :)
I've never met him but I would like to if the opportunity presented itself :))) thank you babe. I'm a person who has been through it alI and can help others. I agree, he does look like a Calvin Klein model with that frame. Loorrd I would love me one of those.
Natalie Cherie aww we have the same mind, both are super good advise but what ever you do take care of your self both mentally and physically, life is to short.
I always seem to get a hair cut after a breakup or changing myself somehow to become different because that helps me feel better about myself and gives me a new outlook on life as opposed to sitting in a room crying it out all day and all night. Matthew is dead on on so many things in his videos and I can't believe that I found him just now. My last relationship was 3 years ago and in that time frame, I haven't dated anyone or been in any physical intimacy. I know, your all thinking what about sex. Well to be honest, that's further-est from my mind. I'm not a serial dater and given that majority of my relationships have been turmoil and given that my last relationship was an absolute heaven compared to the others, it's nerve wrecking to get back in the dating game again...mainly because i don't want to get my heart broken again, do the comparison game between current and ex flame and worst, let someone in again. Unfortunately for me it's taking me a long time to better myself emotionally due to alot of stuff from my past but I'm getting there slowly and watching Matthew's video and understanding what he's saying is helping me understand things. Although I have imprinted in my head 'I'm never dating again', watching these videos helps so much. So thank you Matthew
When the person that you love breaks up with you, pushes you out of their life, basically says to you "I think my life will be better off without you in it", you grieve over that person because the person you once loved, the person who used to love you is gone. That person that you were in love with doesn't exist anymore. You lose them like you lose a loved one to death. What I've always heard from people who deal with that is, you never really completely "get over it", you just learn to live with it. I loved her and her daughter so much. I have tried everything, and I'm starting to think the pain will never fully go away.
That last part that he spoke about was real deep where he spoke of the line from the movie where you have to not mind that it hurts. Where you're excited and know eventually you're going to get burned. I think that's a brilliant analogy. Putting that one in my back pocket. It's been a month since the breakup. I was on the receiving end. This is a bad one. The pain's horrible.
I decided to take the word date like diet out of my vocabulary. I consume healthy foods that make me feel great and go out and meet potential new friends.
Your advice reminds me of a line in Paramore's song, Last Hope. "It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore." Great advice, thanks Matthew :)
Absolutely loved this! It's getting easier day by day. I just want to be happy with or without the idea of love in the background. No knight in shining armor is going to save me and I'm quite fine with that ❤
I’m in a situation where my boyfriend of 9 years broke up with me last week. I’m completely devastated and I’ve cried for days now. But what makes matters worse is that we still live together, we share a lease that’s not up for another four months, we share our beloved dog, and a bank account. You spend nine years together, and your lives are going to be so intertwined, that trying to break off all contact is going to be impossible. So I have to see him everyday, knowing he both hates me and sees me as nothing more than a pest and is indifferent to my existence while I still love him and want him deeply, is much harder than if I could just stop seeing him all together. And I know he has already replaced me with somebody else, so unless that relationship falls apart soon, I’m going to have to witness it, while I’m in the worst stages of heartbreak. This is torture and I don’t know what to do.
They say that.. If you are ready to fall in love.. You must also be ready to be in pain... But even if you know that.. When you are on that unfortunate situation, you still don't know how to handle pain.. Keep on listening and watching Matthew's videos and you will learn a lot that even if you don't need it now on your life.. You are still learning and perhaps can share to those in need... These videos and advices are super helpful and amazingly true.. BRAVO!
I really love this advice. I am going through a break up myself, and I feel its so hard. But your advice always helps to give me hope to move forward in a kind, positive and strong way. Thank-you Matthew Hussey!
It took me some effort to actually visualise that this is a beautiful experience, tremendously painful but also exciting because I am letting myself sit with these heavy feelings and constantly redirect my thoughts and change how I think of my feelings.
Thanks for all that...i too just recently got out of 5 year romantic relationship....and hearing everything you said just breathed life back into me...thank you!
Who knew a video from nearly 10 years ago would stil be helpful and relevant now. To all the people watching this video now, who are probably in the same boat as me, please know, we've got this. We can still be friends with our exes and it be healthy, we need to set boundaries with that. We are also deserving of love from others whether we feel it or not. We just need to undrstand when we are ready. It'll come in time and we will find our person - even if that's ourselves for a good long while. Strength, love, peace and power to all those going through a breakup right now. x
It makes me happy that I've already been doing the right thing. I just got out of a 7 yr. relationship in January, and my mindset almost straight from the get go after the initial pain was that we were finally both free to go and find what it was that we actually wanted; we could go find people that were more compatible, and perfect or near perfect matches. I was so excited for both of us at the same time that I was devastated. When I dated my first guy after the breakup, I actually did the exact opposite of what you mentioned-- yes, I still compared him, maybe, but I think in a good way: I saw the new guy as an example of why I shouldn't go back to my ex, that yes, what my ex was saying when he was down all those years was true, even though I hated to admit it, if I ever did: I really *can* do better. The example of me doing better was standing right in front of me, and it was *wonderful*. I was sad when me and the new guy had to break up, but I knew in the back of my head that wasn't going to last that long, and that in of itself was a great learning process too. I had to put into practice something that I learned in one of your other breakup videos before I ever even started watching your stuff-- I thought he was a God-send, and I do still think he is, but I had to realize that God had sent him not as the end-all be-all, even if we did have chemistry and a lot of compatibility-- no. He was an example, and he was practice, and he was succor-- nothing more, nothing less. Now I've been cheering myself on with the idea that I am free to find someone *even better* than that. If my Heavenly Father only wants good things for me, then I'm excited to see who God has for me next.
Jessica W So you used this new guy? That’s wonderful!!! His emotions, pain don’t matter. I mean were you honest and told him you didn’t see it lasting? What would the Heavenly Father think of that?
So true many things you said..... I was in a 5 years relationship and finish... an the best way to continue was to not kind of care not pay to much attention to his comunications. And that helps a lot.
I just miss my guy, I don’t want to find someone else. I have met many guys but I only want him 😫😭. I feel so attached to him I would do anything to be back the way we used to be :( . I’m sure eventually I will be happy with someone else but it’s so hard right now.
I like the way you articulate your advice in such a way that it makes so much sense! You are amazing! Thanks for all you do. I know you are helping a lot of people.
I've just had an 8 year relationship end and even though I feel so bad right now this video is the best one I've seen so far. Maybe one day I will be happy and this rekindles a small bit of hope that I will be.
@@anissaabada992 Sorry to hear you're in pain now, I remember that feeling well. I'm okay now, I took my time, reconnected with the things that I loved before my relationship and eventually moved on. Now when I think of my old relationship I dont miss it or long for it anymore, I just remember how much it hurt me and how it wasn't right. I've been in a new relationship for a year and a half now. As bad as you feel now, it does get better. You will be okay. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Matthew, thank you for the advice you give. I can relate to this topic. I am currently going through the exact same situation. The insight I gained from this video will make moving forward a smoother transition.I look forward to more insightful videos uploaded by you in the future.Teresa
From a guy here... I Love your videos Matthew, they have helped me so much with being dumped 16 months ago.The principal applies to us guys too. Only now am I putting my toe back in the dating pond and thinking I can move on. Your videos are inspirational.
Hello lovely I will introduce you to the same Relationship restorer who attracted my ex back to me within 48 hours.. He can also help you to reunite back with your ex real quick
Hi Matthew and to everyone reading this. I just wanted to say that your videos are truly inspirational! Im getting over a break up as you can see. Ive meet this guy online last december and everything went fine. I find that we had alot of things in common and we were really comfortable with each other. Its my first real relationship. We became exclusive after a month which was January this year. At some point he even told me he loved me which i told him i feel the same way. All of a sudden last June second week everything changed! It was so sudden. He suddenly realized he's not ready. I told him i wanted to be with someone on the same page as me. Ive even told him that we need to go our separate ways. He cried and does not want to let go. He's still undecided but we continued to see each other for the past weeks and ge even brought me to his parents house. To my surprise, yesterday after i came back from a trip, he told me over the phone he's not ready for a relationship and wanted to explore. At that point, i finally told him i dont want to see him again. I told him its over and wish him a good life. After the call i deleted everything and even threw his stuffs that he gave me. Im just really trying to get the strength to move on. We were so compatible and i can really see myself to be with him in the future. I dont even know if i can meet someone special again :(
Matthew! I love that I know you'll always be here when I need you! your kindness, your wisdom.. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and giving us perspective! thanks for making this world a better place ❤
OMG - Good advice. I am actually trying to break things off with this guy that I fell for. And i already know it is going to be hard to get over him, bcause i tried to do it before but end up breaking the no contact and fell even harder.
I'm in the same position now it's terrible he says we can still be best friends but he wants another girl 😢 sometimes you have to let go for people to be happy but it's just upsetting. We never dated or anything but we were so close and now he doesn't call me in the morning or for random reasons maybe 10 minutes a day it's heartbreaking. We used to talk 6-8 hours a day
You've been helping me so much during these trying times Matthew. Thank you. 😭 Ive just had an attachment with someone and its now over and I thought my first break-up was the hardest ever but this is an extra ordinary pain. It was wrong from the very start and I wanted to end it myself many times ,tried couple of times because I know it's the right thing to do but I just followed my emotions and thought of just temporary happiness even if it was feeling empty every end of the day because I know what we have will never be right and will go nowhere but I wasn't strong enough to fight it and it cuts me so deep.
Selina Chan I like more that he refers to this difficult phase as a "beautiful phase" and how the whole healing process can be beautiful. That completely flips the hurt into positive development mindset. Made me cry.
Mathew, something that I have never herd you talk about in all of the videos I have listened to is the stages of grief. We all think of grief as death but grief belongs to a relationship as well and some people ignore grief (or they think they can) and some people need to go through all seven stages before they can move on.
I thought I had manifested (Abraham Hicks) the ONE in my life. The momentum built really fast and the tree was really HARD. I'm still healing and getting ready to be ready to go on. Now I have a much clearer picture, and have actually SAMPLED what I want. The pain is intense, and I bounce up and down the emotional scale. BUT....what I got from that was EXPANSION. I have outgrown not just that old relationship, but my whole way of "relating", my current house and car and job and appearance. I'm more courageous and accepting of others and of life. Yes, it was tremendous pain AND tremendous GAIN. Thank you Source and Thank you "J."
Wow!!! This is the exact same situation (4yrs and decided I needed to move on) I am currently in...thank you and I know I will be ok and though it’s difficult we need to know what is best for us to grow and evolve to become our best self!
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
This is some excellent advice. It can be so hard to start over, and often it means making some space to give yourself time to readjust. How about you all - have you ever had to cut a person out so you could be friends again later?
How do I even do this? I married at 17 and spent 40+ years in a toxic relationship. I don't know what is worse - the lonliness or the fear of attempting to date.
First comment! I really appreciate your video's matthew. Thank you for posting them twice a week, it's really helpfull. Because of your video's I started flirting again and I'm having so much fun!
I like listening to you ,because you message are very positive and powerful ,and women we are need someone are telling us is okay to move on for the next ,and be happy and feel good about them self . And have to believe no matter what,someone out there will appreciate who you are .love to be there today ,was my first day ,and l love it . Thank you Matthew .
I love Matthew H! Out of all the so called relationship gurus and psychologists out there...You are so genuine in the way that you speak and give advice, hands down. You definitely have walked away with great life lessons in any relationship that you have ever been involved in. Thank you for being YOU!
I've been a rebound girl and I'm looking for a video that speaks to people who have been deceived, are used, why not make a video for us. You know what it is to feel used and worse if you have fallen in love with that person
I have been trying and trying to work out a relationship with a man who I have AMAZING chemistry with but outside of that he is controlling manipulative and insecure. I kept breaking it off with him but continuously went back out of fear and loneliness. He knows my biggest fear was him finding another woman. Well...I recently decided enough was enough and ended it. Out of retaliation he met this woman through his female roommate and took her on vacation to one of our FAVORITE places. It broke my heart. How can someone be so heartless??? Unfortunately...he lives across the street so he is now bringing that same woman over his house in the evenings and it just kills me.
+Nancy J Hodapp - You broke it off with him because your biggest fear was him finding another woman. You broke it off with him because you decided enough was enough. hmmm... Then you are sad... because he enjoys the company of a woman who does not give him an ultimatum... Thank you for the inspiration... I'm gonna have to write a song and dedicate my new song on UA-cam to you... titled... "Selfish Love..." she really loves me... yea, yea... she says she loves me..., yea yea... selfish love... she gives me an ultimatum... selfish love... yea, yea..., she has selfish love for me... yea, yea... such selfish love... yea, yea... I don't need her kind of love. The end.
You do have a chance if you still love your ex. I can introduce you to someone who helped me! My husband shot me out for almost a year but mr OLOWO, a very powerful spell caster helped me bring him back with his power and today we are living happy. .Message him on whatsapp for help via +2348089339042.i promise to tell the world about him!
Hi Matthew, the dating burnout part hits me real heart. Would really hope that you can share a few tips on how to not compare a new dating partner with the previous relationships.
Thanks I'm always watching your videos. I am Filipino and I have a fiancee he is from London but suddenly we broke up its hurt but I know someday the pain is healed
I've been divorced 6 years now. Together 30years. He's just started seeing a woman 25 years his junior. I am so jealous . We both love each other. Just went through a very bad patch of bad communication. In those 6 years he's had cancer and recovered. He has a different outlook. Much nicer more human person . That's why I'm jealous ...she's getting the improved version. I should have him! I'm stuck. How do I get out of this?
How did it go for you so far? Tbh in my opinion you should accept that he's now in a new relationship and is happy, don't try to interrupt in that, there's nothing more toxic then people who don't want to let you be happy and try to interrupt your live cause they think they know better what's good for you when in fact that's just an illusion from their part. May sound harsh but that's just what I think. I hope you didn't do anything like that within the year since you posted that comment. I hope at some point you're able to move on as well and find happiness again with someone else or with your own. Solitude can be a beautiful thing as well actually
From the perspective of a man who was the next relationship: be sure you're over your ex because you may just hurt someone else. The woman I was seeing had been abruptly dumped by her ex after two years together. Nearly a year later, and after seeing me for two months, two days before Christmas, broke down saying she still missed the guy and wasn't ready for a relationship. She said we'd stay in touch, but haven't heard from her since, and I have reached out. Needless to say, I've experienced the entire range of emotions.
You shouldn't have reached out, it was her who wanted space from you and you have to respect that. She will not respect you for allowing her to "stay in touch" after being romantic and going back to her ex. It's all about approval and validation when it comes to women. If they know they can fully have you and for sure run you over they do not want you because it is boring and no challenge any longer. Somehow in the past I knew this subconsciously but not consciously until a cpl years ago. Women are more attracted to men who are "unsure" and or mysterious. Make yourself a challenge for women and never reach out after them letting you out of their grasp...they have to win you back. Most women do not even understand this about themselves...at least not on the conscious level.
I experienced a similar situation, her ex dumped her only a few days before we started talking, I knew it since the beginning but I wanted to see how far we could go. That was a huge mistake because I was falling for her harder and faster than her while she was still missing him and processing after her break up. I will never wait for someone who is not ready for me again. It's an hard pill to swallow but believe me it becomes harder and harder the more you wait and build hope onto something which started wrong. Don't get to attached if you see red flags, and believe that if you two are meant to be you will met again when both of you will be ready to build something greater than you ever imagine. Don't wait till you're broken to start putting yourself first, you are your priority.
@@davidu8688 Goes both ways. Same for men.
Harlowe79. . This is very important, never, never ever date another person while still in grief for your ex. It carries a lot of baggage and causes hurt for the other person, it’s real unfair. Thi is called Rebound relationship. Very dangerous for everybody.
how did it turn out?
The trick is not minding that it hurts...beautiful words
his quotes always gets to me :')
Just to give credit to the origin of the quotes. It actually came from T. E. Lawrence in the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia, when he was performing this trick of extinguishing a match with his fingers. The original scene was also played in the more recent film "Prometheus".
patrick VDK which is what Matthew said in this video...
Good one
It definitely is! 😢
Brutal. This phase is brutal. I want it to go away. I want to be happy. But it's just so god damn hard.....
yep I agree. it's been 9 months and it still hurts for me:(
Kaitlin Ramspeck 3 years and it still hurts
Aljazi Al Ajmi that makes me sad... it's been over a year and a half now and it still hurts. I hope it gets better for both of us soon!
storyofwill totally totally relating. It hurts SO BAD! SO SO BAD! And it really sucks. I wish I would go away...
T I M E H E A L S ! ! !
This is what's wrong with people. They don't allow themselves to heal from the past. And have the next person deal with the consequences. watch out for these type of people.
Josué Efigenio Yeah I really think people should be alone for awhile after each relationship to sort of "reset" themselves afterwards. Otherwise there's just tons of baggage that comes into it.
Josué Efigenio my nigga u on point
Josué Efigenio yep.. those are major red flags. Everyone I know is telling me to get back out there.. why? It's not even been 3 months. This is the time when you look inward and try to improve yourself in every way you can. Love thyself.. ya feel?
Josué Efigenio and every single one of those relationships will fail miserably. If you don't give yourself time to heal fully, and jump to dating someone else, that is the beginning of a failing relationship from the get go.
Yeah I didn’t heal completely and I did tell him, he accepted it but we both werent ready for this rollercoaster
"The trick is not minding that it hurts" I love that
A lot of relationship experts/couches simply repeat the same stuff over and over again. However, Matt somehow always manages to look deeper and find unique things to say to every person.
because he goes out and meets the people Ive seen.
It also helps if you have a life to go back to. You should always keep your own interests, hobbies, activities going after you enter into a relationship. That way, if it doesn't work out, you can move back into your own life as you heal.
Gioya McRae I failed at this :( And now I'm caught in a limbo where I have no life and have no energy or hope of building a new one.
Gioya McRae The problem with this is that my life was very different when I got into a relationship compared to after a breakup. During the course of the relationship I gained and lost friends (problems happened that had nothing to do with the relationship) as well as interests that I would've picked up or lost, with or without the relationship. I don't think there's anything anyone can do other than build a new life for themselves, especially if their relationship was a long one. There usually isn't any going back to the life you had before you got into a relationship because you were a different person at that point in your life.
Great advice, ones world cannot entirely revolve around anothers... we are individuals as well want to be around other individuals.
@@xTwilightWolvesx people change all the time, even with their friends. They improve as well fall down, it's just a matter staying an individual and being around positive people who love and care for you even if it may be some of the people who you knew while being in an old relationship. They will change along with you if you lead.
this was spot on, especially the part about comparing new people to your ex, i did that a lot when i started dating again!
Makeupbyemmylouu I’d like to as you did you compare in your head (e.g., thoughts) and/or did you verbalize these comparisons to the people you were dating?
which is why ill never be emotionally involved with anyone ever again lmao
I'm going through a break up too. I'm lucky I dont have any reason to see them. It takes time but it gets better day by day. I stopped over analyzing the situation just accepted the fact that he didn't love me.
I'm so sorry it hard I know it is I'm going through the same it's hard
Really? I kinda wish I had the same circle as my ex. But we’re different. Different hobbies, different friends, different jobs, lives across town😞 I wish I’d run into him
@@LifeIs2Kewl2013 don't stalk, respect his wishes to not be with you and then maybe he'll call you but don't hope for that. Just do your thing and meet new people, it absolutely may be for the best and you may be a way better as well more interesting person than he is. Fact is when some men have other options they take it and realize later what a big mistake it was especially when the women who did them right will not take him back because she finally realized that. Then again he could have been a good man that you neglected and has moved on.
Good for you 👍👍
It's the same we almost one year right now but suddenly he send a message and say good bye to me for just small reason means he ddnt realy love me.. I don't even reply on his message maybe because I'm in shock that time, I ddnt do anything wrong with him.. I love him so much. What I did at the same time is directly I block his number from some apps that were communicating. Everyday. Too hard but I have to do it for my self, to heal the my broken heart as well crying every minute to give me to become more stronger person these time I'm still hoping and praying that soon the broken heart will heal fast God is will why is happen all those things has. A reason why I'm struggling like these💔🙏💖
I'm ALWAYS going to love my ex. She became part of my life and always will be. She is with someone else now and it seems to be going well and I want to be happy for her. The pain lingers though, along with the good memories and the bad memories and times when things weren't going well. I've tried suppressing the pain by working on myself by getting fit again. The pain still comes and goes. I loved that last pearl of wisdom. "You have to not mind that it hurts."
R O You made me 😢
When it hurts, it means that you re healing...keep faith and stick to the goal... it always gets better :)
That's why I love men, hope they wish good for their ex. If it's a women she would have scolded her ex. All the best man
R O, how do you feel about it now?
Lord what a beauty! He's bulked up I see...anyway, can't get distracted from the message of the story. After a heartbreak you have to re-invent yourself. You might find a lot of change in yourself. You might cut your hair, be more flirtatious, or pray more. You're going to change for the better. Just be in the present, take life seriously because spending those days in bed when you could've been out enjoying life is going to bum you. Take time to heal, cry, express how you feel...so writing, music, painting, poetry, will be perfect tools. Don't worry. Life gets better. Breakups are a test. X
You are a wise woman!!
Have you ever met Matt in person? I was struck by how cameras completely fail to capture his radiant warmth and the kindness in his eyes. He is so much less intimidating and more approachable than one would think, to see him looking like a Calvin Klein model in these videos. :)
I've never met him but I would like to if the opportunity presented itself :))) thank you babe. I'm a person who has been through it alI and can help others. I agree, he does look like a Calvin Klein model with that frame. Loorrd I would love me one of those.
Natalie Cherie aww we have the same mind, both are super good advise but what ever you do take care of your self both mentally and physically, life is to short.
*****
Absolutely!
I always seem to get a hair cut after a breakup or changing myself somehow to become different because that helps me feel better about myself and gives me a new outlook on life as opposed to sitting in a room crying it out all day and all night.
Matthew is dead on on so many things in his videos and I can't believe that I found him just now.
My last relationship was 3 years ago and in that time frame, I haven't dated anyone or been in any physical intimacy. I know, your all thinking what about sex. Well to be honest, that's further-est from my mind. I'm not a serial dater and given that majority of my relationships have been turmoil and given that my last relationship was an absolute heaven compared to the others, it's nerve wrecking to get back in the dating game again...mainly because i don't want to get my heart broken again, do the comparison game between current and ex flame and worst, let someone in again.
Unfortunately for me it's taking me a long time to better myself emotionally due to alot of stuff from my past but I'm getting there slowly and watching Matthew's video and understanding what he's saying is helping me understand things. Although I have imprinted in my head 'I'm never dating again', watching these videos helps so much. So thank you Matthew
When the person that you love breaks up with you, pushes you out of their life, basically says to you "I think my life will be better off without you in it", you grieve over that person because the person you once loved, the person who used to love you is gone. That person that you were in love with doesn't exist anymore. You lose them like you lose a loved one to death. What I've always heard from people who deal with that is, you never really completely "get over it", you just learn to live with it. I loved her and her daughter so much. I have tried everything, and I'm starting to think the pain will never fully go away.
You could tell he teared up in the end when telling that story, it made it even more beautiful
That last part that he spoke about was real deep where he spoke of the line from the movie where you have to not mind that it hurts. Where you're excited and know eventually you're going to get burned. I think that's a brilliant analogy. Putting that one in my back pocket. It's been a month since the breakup. I was on the receiving end. This is a bad one. The pain's horrible.
I almost started crying when he said the trick is not minding. Whew, what a word!
I decided to take the word date like diet out of my vocabulary. I consume healthy foods that make me feel great and go out and meet potential new friends.
Your advice reminds me of a line in Paramore's song, Last Hope. "It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore."
Great advice, thanks Matthew :)
One of my favorite songs.
i just got out of a 5 year relationship, 4 years married, and we have a kid together. this one was spot on for me. thank you matt.
He has such an eloquent, soothing way with words it's frightening. I can imagine him telling his wife how she feels and being right 😍😍😍😍
You are such a kind human being Matt. God bless people who raised you. :)
"the trick is not avoinding the pain the trick is not minding" that was a nice thanks
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
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Absolutely loved this! It's getting easier day by day. I just want to be happy with or without the idea of love in the background. No knight in shining armor is going to save me and I'm quite fine with that ❤
I’m in a situation where my boyfriend of 9 years broke up with me last week. I’m completely devastated and I’ve cried for days now. But what makes matters worse is that we still live together, we share a lease that’s not up for another four months, we share our beloved dog, and a bank account. You spend nine years together, and your lives are going to be so intertwined, that trying to break off all contact is going to be impossible. So I have to see him everyday, knowing he both hates me and sees me as nothing more than a pest and is indifferent to my existence while I still love him and want him deeply, is much harder than if I could just stop seeing him all together. And I know he has already replaced me with somebody else, so unless that relationship falls apart soon, I’m going to have to witness it, while I’m in the worst stages of heartbreak. This is torture and I don’t know what to do.
How're you now?
(Going through something similar)
I am so sorry for you!having experienced heartbreak these days I share the same pain as you do. I hope you are well now!
How are you now? I’m going through something similar xx
i really wish my next partner would have charisma like Matthew
They say that.. If you are ready to fall in love.. You must also be ready to be in pain... But even if you know that.. When you are on that unfortunate situation, you still don't know how to handle pain.. Keep on listening and watching Matthew's videos and you will learn a lot that even if you don't need it now on your life.. You are still learning and perhaps can share to those in need... These videos and advices are super helpful and amazingly true.. BRAVO!
You always helped me not going back into my toxic relationship.. Much love to you Mathew 😊
Matthew is really a great adviser to all the people who are experiencing heartbreaks. Thank you for sharing this video.
he always knows what so say! thank you Matthew for the pieces of wisdom that you share with us.
guys trust the process you will eventually heal, sending love. don't forget to pray
I really love this advice. I am going through a break up myself, and I feel its so hard. But your advice always helps to give me hope to move forward in a kind, positive and strong way. Thank-you Matthew Hussey!
You are a pretty aware guy. Quite refreshing.
It took me some effort to actually visualise that this is a beautiful experience, tremendously painful but also exciting because I am letting myself sit with these heavy feelings and constantly redirect my thoughts and change how I think of my feelings.
Thanks for all that...i too just recently got out of 5 year romantic relationship....and hearing everything you said just breathed life back into me...thank you!
Who knew a video from nearly 10 years ago would stil be helpful and relevant now. To all the people watching this video now, who are probably in the same boat as me, please know, we've got this. We can still be friends with our exes and it be healthy, we need to set boundaries with that. We are also deserving of love from others whether we feel it or not. We just need to undrstand when we are ready. It'll come in time and we will find our person - even if that's ourselves for a good long while. Strength, love, peace and power to all those going through a breakup right now. x
This is absolutely the best heartache medicine I've had since my recent break up from my boyfriend of 2 years. Thank you!!
It makes me happy that I've already been doing the right thing. I just got out of a 7 yr. relationship in January, and my mindset almost straight from the get go after the initial pain was that we were finally both free to go and find what it was that we actually wanted; we could go find people that were more compatible, and perfect or near perfect matches. I was so excited for both of us at the same time that I was devastated. When I dated my first guy after the breakup, I actually did the exact opposite of what you mentioned-- yes, I still compared him, maybe, but I think in a good way: I saw the new guy as an example of why I shouldn't go back to my ex, that yes, what my ex was saying when he was down all those years was true, even though I hated to admit it, if I ever did:
I really *can* do better.
The example of me doing better was standing right in front of me, and it was *wonderful*.
I was sad when me and the new guy had to break up, but I knew in the back of my head that wasn't going to last that long, and that in of itself was a great learning process too. I had to put into practice something that I learned in one of your other breakup videos before I ever even started watching your stuff-- I thought he was a God-send, and I do still think he is, but I had to realize that God had sent him not as the end-all be-all, even if we did have chemistry and a lot of compatibility-- no. He was an example, and he was practice, and he was succor-- nothing more, nothing less. Now I've been cheering myself on with the idea that I am free to find someone *even better* than that. If my Heavenly Father only wants good things for me, then I'm excited to see who God has for me next.
Jessica W So you used this new guy? That’s wonderful!!! His emotions, pain don’t matter. I mean were you honest and told him you didn’t see it lasting? What would the Heavenly Father think of that?
We both didn't see it lasting. We both agreed to keep it casual, and that's all we wanted.
So basically you used each other as a rebound.
Perfect advice to embrace the hurt .... it’s ok to hurt when dealing with this , keep growing guys
I know someone who can help you get your ex back
Text him on Whatzapp
+2348155485119 📞📞📞📞
I really cannot say how perfect this was for me in this moment. Thank you so much.
the way he talks made me say" ohh there is good men out there yet " very kind
So true many things you said.....
I was in a 5 years relationship and finish... an the best way to continue was to not kind of care not pay to much attention to his comunications.
And that helps a lot.
Wow this girl is so brave after a 5 year relationship!
What an amazing quote at the end! Love it.
4:20 ,,see the bigger picture; the freedom you now have, to go and find what you really want and deserve..,, Cheers Matthew, always a pleasure
I just miss my guy, I don’t want to find someone else. I have met many guys but I only want him 😫😭. I feel so attached to him I would do anything to be back the way we used to be :( . I’m sure eventually I will be happy with someone else but it’s so hard right now.
Matthew I don't think you ever give bad advice!! you are the best, truly.
I like the way you articulate your advice in such a way that it makes so much sense! You are amazing! Thanks for all you do. I know you are helping a lot of people.
Zero contact rule is the only way that works for me.
Then again, I find a video of you that has the exact words that I needed to hear! Thank you
You are a healer in a way, Matt..Everytime, I can feel you are very genuinely caring..women... Thank you..Matt..
I've just had an 8 year relationship end and even though I feel so bad right now this video is the best one I've seen so far. Maybe one day I will be happy and this rekindles a small bit of hope that I will be.
Hi how are you feeling right now? My husband just left me for another women the pain is horrible hope days will fix me
@@anissaabada992 Sorry to hear you're in pain now, I remember that feeling well. I'm okay now, I took my time, reconnected with the things that I loved before my relationship and eventually moved on. Now when I think of my old relationship I dont miss it or long for it anymore, I just remember how much it hurt me and how it wasn't right. I've been in a new relationship for a year and a half now. As bad as you feel now, it does get better. You will be okay. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
been three weeks since our call off, somehow i still miss him but I'm numb enough . my heart already closed .
Just like everything else you do, its experiencing it, the more you experience it, the more it disapates!
Matthew, thank you for the advice you give. I can relate to this topic. I am currently going through the exact same situation. The insight I gained from this video will make moving forward a smoother transition.I look forward to more insightful videos uploaded by you in the future.Teresa
From a guy here... I Love your videos Matthew, they have helped me so much with being dumped 16 months ago.The principal applies to us guys too. Only now am I putting my toe back in the dating pond and thinking I can move on. Your videos are inspirational.
Hello lovely I will introduce you to the same Relationship restorer who attracted my ex back to me within 48 hours.. He can also help you to reunite back with your ex real quick
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Hi Matthew and to everyone reading this. I just wanted to say that your videos are truly inspirational! Im getting over a break up as you can see. Ive meet this guy online last december and everything went fine. I find that we had alot of things in common and we were really comfortable with each other. Its my first real relationship. We became exclusive after a month which was January this year. At some point he even told me he loved me which i told him i feel the same way. All of a sudden last June second week everything changed! It was so sudden. He suddenly realized he's not ready. I told him i wanted to be with someone on the same page as me. Ive even told him that we need to go our separate ways. He cried and does not want to let go. He's still undecided but we continued to see each other for the past weeks and ge even brought me to his parents house. To my surprise, yesterday after i came back from a trip, he told me over the phone he's not ready for a relationship and wanted to explore. At that point, i finally told him i dont want to see him again. I told him its over and wish him a good life. After the call i deleted everything and even threw his stuffs that he gave me. Im just really trying to get the strength to move on. We were so compatible and i can really see myself to be with him in the future. I dont even know if i can meet someone special again :(
Matthew! I love that I know you'll always be here when I need you! your kindness, your wisdom.. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and giving us perspective! thanks for making this world a better place ❤
OMG - Good advice. I am actually trying to break things off with this guy that I fell for. And i already know it is going to be hard to get over him, bcause i tried to do it before but end up breaking the no contact and fell even harder.
+Lana M. Thompson i feel you.
I'm in the same position now it's terrible he says we can still be best friends but he wants another girl 😢 sometimes you have to let go for people to be happy but it's just upsetting. We never dated or anything but we were so close and now he doesn't call me in the morning or for random reasons maybe 10 minutes a day it's heartbreaking. We used to talk 6-8 hours a day
Thank you for helping me heal and focus on myself and to let go of the hurt ,
My motto ... Kick ass, take numbers, and repeat! Just go with more goals and dates until you reach "the one."
best advice i found so far. I lost a LTR after 14years. this really is good advice and will be helping as i recover from this transition
You've been helping me so much during these trying times Matthew. Thank you. 😭 Ive just had an attachment with someone and its now over and I thought my first break-up was the hardest ever but this is an extra ordinary pain. It was wrong from the very start and I wanted to end it myself many times ,tried couple of times because I know it's the right thing to do but I just followed my emotions and thought of just temporary happiness even if it was feeling empty every end of the day because I know what we have will never be right and will go nowhere but I wasn't strong enough to fight it and it cuts me so deep.
That's really good advice. Thank you for sharing Matthew.
"Not minding that it hurts"
Selina Chan I like more that he refers to this difficult phase as a "beautiful phase" and how the whole healing process can be beautiful. That completely flips the hurt into positive development mindset. Made me cry.
The world would be a better place with clone copies of Matthew 💛
Matthew's little smile at the end though.. 😊
Throw the pictures away and clothes and jewellery
Never call them
Mathew, something that I have never herd you talk about in all of the videos I have listened to is the stages of grief. We all think of grief as death but grief belongs to a relationship as well and some people ignore grief (or they think they can) and some people need to go through all seven stages before they can move on.
There is aspects of my life I'm going to be recovering forever from!
omg amazing advice, my mind is blown right now.
I liked it when he said to reward effort not results
OPTIMISTIC AND WISE, GREAT ADVICE, CAME AT A GREAT TIME. A FRIEND JUST TOLD ME ABOUT HIS VIDEO. SO GRATEFUL!
I thought I had manifested (Abraham Hicks) the ONE in my life. The momentum built really fast and the tree was really HARD. I'm still healing and getting ready to be ready to go on. Now I have a much clearer picture, and have actually SAMPLED what I want. The pain is intense, and I bounce up and down the emotional scale. BUT....what I got from that was EXPANSION. I have outgrown not just that old relationship, but my whole way of "relating", my current house and car and job and appearance. I'm more courageous and accepting of others and of life. Yes, it was tremendous pain AND tremendous GAIN. Thank you Source and Thank you "J."
THIS man, Matthew Hussey, is God's gift to women.
Wow!!! This is the exact same situation (4yrs and decided I needed to move on) I am currently in...thank you and I know I will be ok and though it’s difficult we need to know what is best for us to grow and evolve to become our best self!
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
What"sapp him
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Wish I could chat with you un person hehe..could listen to your advise non stop...
Heartbreak is soooo painful Matthew
This is some excellent advice. It can be so hard to start over, and often it means making some space to give yourself time to readjust. How about you all - have you ever had to cut a person out so you could be friends again later?
MateCheck.ca it’s hard I still have to connect back with her for some financial issues
How do I even do this? I married at 17 and spent 40+ years in a toxic relationship. I don't know what is worse - the lonliness or the fear of attempting to date.
How are u these days?
I needed to hear this. I appreciate all of your hard work Matt!
First comment! I really appreciate your video's matthew. Thank you for posting them twice a week, it's really helpfull. Because of your video's I started flirting again and I'm having so much fun!
That girl is determined for real real .. 5 years here also I am moving on but still have a lot feelings
I like listening to you ,because you message are very positive and powerful ,and women we are need someone are telling us is okay to move on for the next ,and be happy and feel good about them self . And have to believe no matter what,someone out there will appreciate who you are .love to be there today ,was my first day ,and l love it . Thank you Matthew .
I am guy, and you just helped me with comparison advice. Thank you
I love Matthew H! Out of all the so called relationship gurus and psychologists out there...You are so genuine in the way that you speak and give advice, hands down. You definitely have walked away with great life lessons in any relationship that you have ever been involved in. Thank you for being YOU!
really god advice , very well though out and thoughtful at the same time
I was with my man for 18 years before he passed away and have gone into a deep depression...that I cant snap out of because he was my BEST Friend!
Victorious VIC I am so sorry. I really hope if I would have been there for you.
I've been a rebound girl and I'm looking for a video that speaks to people who have been deceived, are used, why not make a video for us. You know what it is to feel used and worse if you have fallen in love with that person
Matthew Hussey So I am just rebound ? Video clip
Oooooh i would want to watch this video too
I have been trying and trying to work out a relationship with a man who I have AMAZING chemistry with but outside of that he is controlling manipulative and insecure. I kept breaking it off with him but continuously went back out of fear and loneliness. He knows my biggest fear was him finding another woman. Well...I recently decided enough was enough and ended it. Out of retaliation he met this woman through his female roommate and took her on vacation to one of our FAVORITE places. It broke my heart. How can someone be so heartless??? Unfortunately...he lives across the street so he is now bringing that same woman over his house in the evenings and it just kills me.
+Nancy J Hodapp - You broke it off with him because your biggest fear was him finding another woman. You broke it off with him because you decided enough was enough. hmmm... Then you are sad... because he enjoys the company of a woman who does not give him an ultimatum... Thank you for the inspiration... I'm gonna have to write a song and dedicate my new song on UA-cam to you... titled... "Selfish Love..." she really loves me... yea, yea... she says she loves me..., yea yea... selfish love... she gives me an ultimatum... selfish love... yea, yea..., she has selfish love for me... yea, yea... such selfish love... yea, yea... I don't need her kind of love. The end.
NancyJ I feel you 😔
If he was controlling and manipulative consider yourself to have had a lucky escape, and pity the woman who became his victim.
I'm finding it hard to let go. Right now I don't want any one else but I don't have a choice but to try and move on.
You do have a chance if you still love your ex.
I can introduce you to someone who helped me! My husband shot me out for almost a year but mr OLOWO, a very powerful spell caster helped me bring him back with his power and today we are living happy. .Message him on whatsapp for help via +2348089339042.i promise to tell the world about him!
Yes the trick is that its not minding that it hurts, hey you are right, how come you are so wise, thank you....
Hi Matthew, the dating burnout part hits me real heart. Would really hope that you can share a few tips on how to not compare a new dating partner with the previous relationships.
Really helpful advice. Such a wise guy!
Excellent advice! Thank you so much for sharing this. 🙌🙌🙌
Thanks I'm always watching your videos. I am Filipino and I have a fiancee he is from London but suddenly we broke up its hurt but I know someday the pain is healed
I also just got out of a 5 year relationship. Going through heartache
what a nice guy
Love these iHeartRadio sessions.
So much wisdom... Incredible guy. Thank you for giving me the answeres right now.
Ohhh man. I'm in the same situation as this girl. Thank Matt for your amazing advice as usual.
Thank you very much for your words, i'm trying to over come a long term relationship and your wisdome has really giving me hopes
I just stumbled on you by accident and you’re amazing.
I've been divorced 6 years now. Together 30years. He's just started seeing a woman 25 years his junior. I am so jealous . We both love each other. Just went through a very bad patch of bad communication. In those 6 years he's had cancer and recovered. He has a different outlook. Much nicer more human person . That's why I'm jealous ...she's getting the improved version. I should have him! I'm stuck. How do I get out of this?
How did it go for you so far?
Tbh in my opinion you should accept that he's now in a new relationship and is happy, don't try to interrupt in that, there's nothing more toxic then people who don't want to let you be happy and try to interrupt your live cause they think they know better what's good for you when in fact that's just an illusion from their part. May sound harsh but that's just what I think. I hope you didn't do anything like that within the year since you posted that comment.
I hope at some point you're able to move on as well and find happiness again with someone else or with your own. Solitude can be a beautiful thing as well actually
i need to rewatch this every time I 2nd guess myself 😘