Why I stop supporting my family in the Philippines 🇵🇭

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 955

  • @raiderrich9165
    @raiderrich9165 День тому +120

    30,000 Peso Philippines is only $500 American Dollars.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +245

      It is. Back in 2011 1 semester is 30k php. Don't say only 500$, you know how many hours will it take me to get that 500$? That's 14 hours of work in the hospital

    • @audgeGUHlahn
      @audgeGUHlahn День тому +150

      That’s still a lot of money that could’ve been in her wallet instead.

    • @TheChrooner
      @TheChrooner День тому +37

      Yeah this is very common in philippines

    • @TheChenny73
      @TheChenny73 День тому +140

      It doesn’t matter the amount. It’s the point and the dishonesty.

    • @annabanana16465
      @annabanana16465 23 години тому +52

      Your arrogance is astounding

  • @raykupal
    @raykupal 2 дні тому +378

    i stopped supporting because i was being treated as a cash cow.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +25

      Yep!

    • @sayfolman7752
      @sayfolman7752 Годину тому +1

      It Fact 😂ASEAN Or Develop Asian Country Foreign Worker Are Cash Cow For They Country

  • @Tupsx57
    @Tupsx57 2 дні тому +319

    Our uncle in the US was a doctor. He supported so many of our cousins for their schooling until they started to do the same thing. Making up tuition numbers. He immediately cut them off.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +13

      Gravehhh

    • @jamesrecknor6752
      @jamesrecknor6752 День тому +36

      I was planning to build a nice house in Mindanao for my girlfriend's poor, hardworking father and brothers after our wedding, and give them a new bao bao or multicab...but she went ahead and had a 'honeymoon', without me. She was using the allowance I sent her to meet her broke boyfriend. Her father still struggles, I still care about him.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +17

      @@jamesrecknor6752 Oh my God I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Back then I had a friend who would do that. Her and her boyfriend would chat foreigners like she's gonna be in front of the camera and the boyfriend will be typing. And they will ask be asking a big amount of money and leave the person hanging

    • @Jon14141
      @Jon14141 4 години тому +2

      @@jamesrecknor6752 Sorry to hear that.

    • @Jon14141
      @Jon14141 4 години тому +2

      Sorry to hear that.

  • @brucesmith9206
    @brucesmith9206 День тому +172

    Many years ago, I had a friend in the US. We were chatting about Filipinos sending money home to help support their families. He felt he was being ripped off by his brother the most. He decided to take a surprise trip home without the family knowing. The last bit of his trip was on a trike. When it stopped at the family house, there was his brother, entertaing a few 'friends', all unemployed. What were they doing? Sitting there, getting drunk on beer the brother has bought with the money he was sending home. Needless to say, he never sent money home again.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +25

      I probably would do the same. I would be so angry

    • @markwatney8641
      @markwatney8641 18 годин тому +9

      Instead of spending the money on plane tickets, I would contact one of the many vloggers on UA-cam who post videos from my hometown and sponsor a private eye video and just watch it on youtube

    • @fdm2155
      @fdm2155 5 годин тому +1

      That's a great idea!

    • @iceewun5833
      @iceewun5833 5 годин тому +1

      That’s another thing, i’ve seen a lot of people (some of my wife’s friends and families), most of what they do here is sit around, get drunk and complain that they don’t have money

    • @Jon14141
      @Jon14141 4 години тому

      Sorry to hear that.

  • @NovelVanFuentes
    @NovelVanFuentes 20 годин тому +85

    Depends on how your kapamilya is. I am blessed to have a good siblings and parents. I worked abroad as OFW . Sent them money every month. When i came back home for good they bought me a land,a boarding house business,and a layer chicken farm. Never nasayang ang pagod at hirap ko abroad. I am blessed to have a family like them 😇🥹

    • @emilioesdabes7086
      @emilioesdabes7086 14 годин тому +5

      Some people are just born lucky….👍

    • @tarabooartarmy3654
      @tarabooartarmy3654 5 годин тому +1

      You are definitely blessed. 😊

    • @mjl9281
      @mjl9281 5 годин тому +2

      Your situation is the exception, not the norm. Firstly, parents don't have children as a form of investment for them and their other children. When you have a child, it is your duty as a parent to provide basic needs and education. When the child becomes successful, helping parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles is voluntary and should be treated by the recipient as a privilege, a huge gift that should be valued as a means to alter the recipient's current life situation for the better. America is not littered with gold that one can just pick up from the pavement to support their families back home.
      Sometimes, us sending money also promotes laziness of recipients. Why do we need to work hard to become financially independent when Ate or Kuya will be sending me money every month?

    • @ivanceus
      @ivanceus 4 години тому

      Wow you are blessed with a kind and forward thinking family. Enjoy your retirement 😊

  • @kapiatgatas
    @kapiatgatas 3 дні тому +438

    PERFECT. You are not alone. I sent money for bills and allowances back home. And they could not buy a freaking light bulb. They are waiting for me to send them money for a light bulb. Life in the US, is a 100X better but it is not free. We pay our bills in $ not Pesos. When I left the Philippines? I left the business I started on my own to my family. A multi-million fish pond and a multi-million chicken farm. It's shut down because of mismanagement and thievery. They could not buy light bulbs and could not pay the electrical fees. How about the tax I have to pay the town?

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  3 дні тому +30

      That’s sad

    • @redfullmoon
      @redfullmoon 2 дні тому +4

      Binenta mo na lang sana. Family worst people to leave a business with.

    • @eva717
      @eva717 2 дні тому +30

      People are ungrateful, you never hear any word from them, asking you how are you, etc, etc. I stop helping as well.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +13

      @@jemormaypa4005i don't know where you're coming from but I respect your thoughts on this.
      But as a nurse, I work every dollar that I get and I would feel bad sending money to people who don't help themselves. And its disrespectful

    • @dannynicart2389
      @dannynicart2389 День тому +3

      If you had a multi-million peso business interests back home in your country, why would you have to work overseas? Just curious!

  • @vgwalldecals
    @vgwalldecals 2 дні тому +338

    My Filipina wife went through the same thing. We would always send her family members money when ever there was an emergency or a dire need. In the beginning she was always thanked, they were grateful for the help. Fast forward 7 or 8 years, it's more of a demand for money instead of asking for it. They just don't appreciate the help so we stopped helping them.

    • @blxcklab
      @blxcklab 2 дні тому +10

      Good. Better focus on your family

    • @Dr.pikachuu
      @Dr.pikachuu 2 дні тому +10

      This video was meant for me I have a friend in Vietnam

    • @GeoFavTech
      @GeoFavTech День тому +1

      2:29 love jolibee

    • @rialove8451
      @rialove8451 День тому +10

      Just say filipino wife not Filipina ew, I hate when people call me Filipina it's cringe. Also this is filipino culture, the one abroad is expected to send money back home that's what alot of these men who marry filipino women don't get is that it's cultural to do this but when the families take advantage that's a different story. But I think more men should realize you aren't just marrying the women but also her family and culture

    • @AmericanFlyOnTheWall
      @AmericanFlyOnTheWall День тому

      Same here.

  • @florida850
    @florida850 2 дні тому +119

    I provided assistance, a free house, and free money for 19 years to my Filipina’s sibling. I got tired of putting our own children in second place, I haven’t helped since February 2024, it’s now crickets, they don’t communicate anymore, but, I am sorry for which I am retired now, and it is expensive to live in America, I did my best…

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +14

      I hear you. I’m in Florida and everything is going up. My cousins still ask for money but I just ignore

    • @jamesrecknor6752
      @jamesrecknor6752 День тому +13

      I helped my best friend and his wife and children in Mindanao for years, then I couldn't for awhile because of reduced earnings. He does not even look at me.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +5

      @ this is sad

    • @emilioesdabes7086
      @emilioesdabes7086 14 годин тому

      @@jamesrecknor6752 what an ungrateful BASTARDS!😂😂

    • @Poa2024
      @Poa2024 13 годин тому +2

      ​@@jamesrecknor6752😂 james that friend of yours doesnt deserve you. Kindness is really a double edge sword.

  • @lunaandblumchen
    @lunaandblumchen 2 дні тому +95

    I feel you... my sister supported me for school back after my father died, my mom was a housewife. We struggled a lot financially up until my mom died.. My sister got better financially when I was in college, I've always been completely honest and with the receipts and everything.. also I helped them in household and to take care of her children.. but then, when I got work abroad, my sister wasn't financially ok and as a return, I sent her daughter to university, paid her balance in previous university and have a fresh start because she failed almost all her subjects in 2 yrs in manila.. they don't want to send receipts, they don't want to update and if I ask them, they keep giving me excuses.. also, they don't tell me they've got the money I send unless I ask.. my brother told me to let her finish college so my sister won't say anything bad to me after all... until she finished college and started working.. Now, we don't talk at all.. she is very ungrateful and no one can control her behavior.. not even her mom... Ungrateful people don't deserve any help! Let's just continue to be kind to ourselves and to people who deserve it..

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +5

      Oh my God! I’m so sorry. This is worst than my experience. After they lied about the first tuition I sent, I stopped immediately

    • @lunaandblumchen
      @lunaandblumchen 2 дні тому +5

      @lanienursetraveler u were lucky because u didn't have to return "utang na loob" to the same person who helped you.. ur uncle only asked u in return to help ur cousins or other people.. me, I had to return back to my sister, and it's through her daughter.. I only told my niece before she graduated to just respect me as a payback I don't ask for anything else.. because even before I supported her financially, many times in the past that she disrespected many in the family including me.. but because I had to return back to my sister, she is the eldest daughter, so I had to support her.. also, many aunts kept telling , I had to return back to my sister.. so with my brother's advice, I continued to support my niece for her studies so my sis won't say bad abt me.. soo ungrateful, sad but no need to think soo much about these kind of people.. we deserve to be happy... btw, my sis and I are fine now, I don't want to hold any grudge.. but me and her daughter don't talk anymore..

  • @eddieBoxer
    @eddieBoxer 2 дні тому +193

    I had a Filipina wife in the Philippines, no kids she has 2 Filipino kids, sent them through college, after college the girl got pregnant from Filipino guy, they moved into our house, had to feed them he didn't work, family had to feed, anytime someone gets sick guess who paid? It got to a point my savings was dwindling fast, had to live from paycheck to paycheck, I warned my wife this has to stop, didn't listen, so after a few months I decided to brake up our marriage, I went back to the USA, I'm doing well now, be careful who who select as your lady, many Filipina ladies wants foriegners most will milk you dry, lesson leraned.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +41

      You know I feel bad sharing this but I had a friend who her and her bf would scam foreigners. She will be facing the camera while he type. They will chat to anyone who is willing to bite the bait. And then they will try to tell the foreigners to meet and they need money for meet up. When they send the money, they leave the foreigners hanging in the airport. It’s so bad

    • @jonalynbaldoza5508
      @jonalynbaldoza5508 День тому +13

      ​@@lanienursetraveler That is so horrible. Half of my relatives are filipinos born in Canada and they would try to hook me up with their Canadian friends that wants to be with a filipina but I always declined because I know how bad the reputation of filipina wives are abroad. I also know women who flaunt their ability to scam foreiners and I don't want to be lumped with them so I'd rather find a Filipino husband.

    • @Techguy-zt3mz
      @Techguy-zt3mz День тому

      Try marrying a black chick 😅. I know a French dude who got milked bone dry by an African-American gal. It's open season for walking atms. 😁

    • @Gomoboo
      @Gomoboo День тому +7

      Chances are, the wife's "boyfriend" was in all likelihood, the father of the other two boys and was, in fact, her true husband.

    • @AlvinKazu
      @AlvinKazu День тому +3

      @@jonalynbaldoza5508 You should find the man you want and not worry about social constructs blocking your path.
      You be the light that shows everyone that not all Pilipina women are trying t oscam western men.

  • @vivit6391
    @vivit6391 2 дні тому +49

    I feel you, girl, this kind of trend with family, relatives, etc won't stop they think that money grows on trees, unfortunately, you need to set boundaries and limitations.

  • @TheKevinGeee
    @TheKevinGeee День тому +45

    We had my Tito and his entire family live with us for a decade because they had nowhere to go. That would be a total of 2 adults and 4 teenagers.
    I had to stop going to my university to support the household.
    The worst thing about this is how lazy they were. They took everything for granted, and they couldn't even do basic house chores.
    My mother decided to kick them out after more than 10 years, now we are the ones called "evil" and "selfish".

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +6

      That's so true. They really suck family members that thrive so they can leech on them

    • @edmundchu6771
      @edmundchu6771 7 годин тому

      "Evil and selfish"...
      Amazing they are not thanking and kissing yo ass😱🤯🙊🙉🙈

  • @minadeguzman6424
    @minadeguzman6424 День тому +52

    Your reaction to the actions of your cousins is so understandable and reasonable. No worries, they don't really need your help. Let them help themselves to prosper.

  • @Trungfupanda
    @Trungfupanda 4 дні тому +168

    Going through this with extended family in Vietnam, I want to help everyone but at the same time I feel deep down if the situations were reversed they would never help me. I have to take care of myself and my immediate family first. Some humans are just trash and don't deserve better unfortunately.

    • @Dagzy6805
      @Dagzy6805 2 дні тому +6

      True.. but if you wanna help, then help with the excess of your money.. and if they are really using it in the right way, then do without asking for anything in return.. its like sharing your blessings.. its always nice to help but not to the point that they will just keep on relying on you and take advantage of you.. depends!! i dont think stopping to help others coz you know they wont give you something in return is a good way..

    • @manoyski3555
      @manoyski3555 2 дні тому +3

      @@Dagzy6805 I agree with you. Don't expect anything in return.

    • @butchfajardo8832
      @butchfajardo8832 2 дні тому +8

      Im glad you thought of that! Many around the world were left for dead after helping!

    • @lucerodj11
      @lucerodj11 2 дні тому +4

      ​@@Dagzy6805 yea but also don't demand on what to bring on the table..

    • @Umeshukitsune
      @Umeshukitsune День тому +5

      My family's in this situation. Eventually they just see you as an ATM. They wouldn't even come outside to direct the taxi driver when they got lost.

  • @anngoldberg7857
    @anngoldberg7857 8 годин тому +10

    You have the most gorgeous hair! You were doing such a kind thing. I'm glad you're no longer being taken advantage.

  • @Lahnurs
    @Lahnurs День тому +28

    Good on you. Some ppl are commenting that you should pay regardless because of the aid you got. You worked hard for that degree and harder for the money obtained from it.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +5

      Yeah it takes hours of work just to earn that 500$ to be only wasted for their instant gratification

    • @TheChenny73
      @TheChenny73 23 години тому +2

      @@lanienursetraveleryour uncle helped you out of love and that help didn’t come with conditions. Well maybe to be honest and use money wisely. He certainly didn’t provide money on the condition when you graduated that you must now provide to younger cousins.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  23 години тому +6

      @ that's certainly not the case. My uncle taught us the same thing. Pay the school, give the receipt as a proof of payment. My uncle was also the one that said to stop all support once my cousins scammed me. Point is its the integrity were talking about. So would you just let them take advantage despite the fact they lied?

    • @shireenedoo1978
      @shireenedoo1978 5 годин тому +1

      People who keep saying you should still give them money because your uncle gave to you must be very stupid or they are taking advantage of someone's kindness as well .. such terrible humans in this world😠😠😠

  • @ShomoGoldburgler
    @ShomoGoldburgler 2 дні тому +33

    The only way to help them, is to make them work and pay their own way. Period.
    Free money, stiffles the will to work, it creates dependants or addicts ( to your money).

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +4

      Amen!!! 🙏

    • @sayfolman7752
      @sayfolman7752 Годину тому

      Just Help Them With Basic Need, Monthly Grocery Expense,The Rest Cover It Yourselves That What My Mom And Dad Told Me Because They Already Experience It First Hand
      Both My Parent Never Finish High School,And Start Working At Early Age Send All They Younger Sibling To University To Ensure They Have Success Live But Only A Few Are Grateful The Rest Very Ungrateful They Even Mocking Them During Family Reunion
      That Why I Never Give, Them Money, Instead I Buy Groceries Item Like Rice,Flour,Egg,Sugar And Sends It To They House

  • @empressoftheskies
    @empressoftheskies 3 дні тому +97

    I'm not Filipino but had the opportunity to attend a wedding in the Philippines. I stayed several nights in Manila surrounded by so so many mega malls, imagine several Mall of America all within walking/driving distances from each other. I asked my friend and she said basically families who live abroad send back so much money, the folks back home have nothing to do but to go shopping after paying for bills, housing etc. I can't vouch for how true this was, but was told this. Truth is probably somewhere here or there.

    • @athenacinca8657
      @athenacinca8657 3 дні тому +6

      But there are families that are genuine. But yes, I do see what you experiencing. What is sad is they have an indirect social economic caste like that shapes among the people. This creates a challenge in eduction, wealth, and people connections.

    • @davidboggs4331
      @davidboggs4331 2 дні тому +8

      That is definitely false or not common. The money people send is usually for rent or tuition. Someone having that much money to send where their families can afford to live comfortably and not have to work are extremely rare. You can easily do the math by just figuring out the conversion rate and the cost of living.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +6

      @@davidboggs4331yes I only send for food and education but not for instant gratification. I will sometimes send money excess for bday gift or holidays

    • @davidboggs4331
      @davidboggs4331 День тому +2

      @@lanienursetraveler exactly. People must have had extremely well paying jobs to be able to afford to send money to their families where they can live comfortably and not have to work. I only know one person like that but she's an assistant to a literal billionaire from Miami and her parents are retirees. One thing I will say though based on experience from watching my friends who have parents sending money from abroad is that they will sometimes add extra zeroes or take a little bit from the money their parents send for tuition. A couple of them went extreme and spent the money on something else and just didn't enroll.

    • @nataliaflores2432
      @nataliaflores2432 17 годин тому +2

      Pay the school directly

  • @stfj2923
    @stfj2923 День тому +12

    Many years ago I stopped helping in-law family in the Philippines after explaing to them how much it costs in the US to just exist on nothing fancy for one month. It was time for them to figure out how to manage on their own. 🥰

  • @thewalkingdave3359
    @thewalkingdave3359 3 дні тому +48

    You're making a good decision here. Simpleng kondisyon na nga lang pinagawa mo, hindi nagawa. It's their fault na nawala na tiwala mo. And if nakakaapekto na sila sa'yo mentally at sa peace of mind mo. Better cut them off in your life completely.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  3 дні тому +5

      Yeah kaya nga I was hoping to teach them financial responsibility and accountability Pero wala

  • @curious_puspin_cat
    @curious_puspin_cat 3 дні тому +88

    I watch a foreigner blog about that. One of the most toxic culture in the PH. Its impossible to be financial stable in the philippines because your own family will drag you down. At 18 yrs old most of the adults in other country can live on their own, pay the bills on their own and its not their obligation to give money to their parents or relatives. But here, children become the "retirement plan" of their parents 😅. We are obligated and frown upon if we dont give bec of utang na loob culture. Its ridiculous. Especially a lot of the families here are toxic.

    • @takeaction2023
      @takeaction2023 3 дні тому +6

      You don't have to support your old parents naman, if mayaman ba sila, pero kung alam mo sa sarili mo na isang kahig, usang tuka ang mga magulang mo, you will always do something for them.
      The system in the West is different to poor Filipinos. Rich Filipinos are like the western culture, they dont have to support their rich parents.

    • @randomanonymousperson3603
      @randomanonymousperson3603 2 дні тому +13

      @@takeaction2023 Problem is if the parents are poor and they demand you support them, then you feel obligated to because "utang na loob". Like the guy above said, children are pretty much "retirement plans".
      It's all fine if the parents are nice and you are open to helping them, but what if the parents are pretty much scum and just want to leech off of you? Sadly, if the internet has some truth into it, the latter case is a lot more common than we think given general poverty.
      Filipino family values have always been double edged. This is the ugly side of it.

    • @lexopims3660
      @lexopims3660 2 дні тому +7

      It depends on your family, pag mahirap at di nakapag aral mga magulang at kamag anak ganun tlga perception, in my case hindi sila ganun and they don't even want me to renovate or built them a new house. at pag tumulong tau wag na tau mag sumbat, maging succesful man or hindi itinulong natin at least we were able to help them.

    • @old-soul
      @old-soul 2 дні тому +2

      truth 💯
      ..your own family will drag you down

    • @KnH07
      @KnH07 2 дні тому

      May I ask if utang na loob us bad.

  • @haroldbranch7971
    @haroldbranch7971 3 дні тому +29

    I'm married to a Filipina. here in Manila for 2 years now. it's pretty bad how people from every age come up asking for money. I was buying some peanuts one evening, very yummy fried hot spicy peanuts. a boy come up asking for some pesos. I reached my hand into my pocket, as I gave the boy something all the sudden there were 3 other young boys and an old man drinking a beer all hoping for a handout.. I'm 66 and have never in my life asked a stranger for money.. so it's some adapting to get used too in that area

    • @keithmahoney8699
      @keithmahoney8699 2 дні тому

      The begers are everywhere there

    • @Jakeylicious7891
      @Jakeylicious7891 2 дні тому

      I normally tell them, "Not now. You're giving me a headache," and pretend to have a bad day and frown. Then they scurry off like rats. You just have to put your foot down. They're not like, from experience, beggars from India, where they will literally harass you until they get their money like you owe them.

    • @ShomoGoldburgler
      @ShomoGoldburgler 2 дні тому +5

      @@haroldbranch7971 some cultures are just better than others, no lie.

    • @rialove8451
      @rialove8451 День тому

      You need to wake up and realize your filipino wife is using you. You seriously think she's attracted to some old white man come on.
      They have classes teaching people how to marry and scam foreigners. Wake up brother please. Unless you are that lonely and would allow this because you want a woman in your life. That's sad.
      She's leave you for the next, sad seeing old white men in PH and you know exactly what they are here doing. You are being used and don't seem to care, super sad

    • @nsaffini1975
      @nsaffini1975 7 годин тому

      It's like they have no dignity. So sad.

  • @AthamAldecua
    @AthamAldecua День тому +16

    DO NOT become someone else's retirement plan, do not let anyone take advantage of you. You did the right thing, you tried to help but won't take their bs! Good for you!

  • @Techguy-zt3mz
    @Techguy-zt3mz 2 дні тому +22

    Tough luck if you have a family like that. The only time they asked extra money from me was for medical treatment. Not really a biggie but it was essential and I fully understand. I think lots of Asians could relate to you because that trait is not exclusively Filipino.

  • @terrapinalive6192
    @terrapinalive6192 2 години тому +3

    Hola from Spain
    Komusta Ka
    I worked two years in Manila and I can understand how you feel and how generous Filipinos are.Don't be sad.You did the right thing

  • @scottfoote3758
    @scottfoote3758 2 години тому +4

    No matter how much you give or do for them it is never enough!!! You think you help this time and it’s ok. But it never stops!!!!

  • @queens6583
    @queens6583 6 годин тому +6

    I'm a nurse who worked with many Philippine and Indian nurses. Every time they would travel home they would spend at least a couple of thousand dollars for gifts. They said their relatives expected them to bring gifts that they had requested from them and the family also expected them to buy food while they were there for everyone. After a while a few of my coworker's stopped going back home because between the airfare and "gifts" it would cost them around $5,000. These same nurses also had a revolving door of guest coming to the U.S. expecting to stay with them, get fed free food and show them around the city. I would never put up with that!

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  6 годин тому

      Yes, I know this feeling. when I was a kid, we get so excited when my uncle gets back to the Philippines for vacation, because we know we will have good food. I think that it's fine. But if other relatives start demanding more money more things, that it will cause the person to drain his money, then that's when it gets bad

  • @jacksvegi.plotcooking.7396
    @jacksvegi.plotcooking.7396 2 дні тому +16

    I totally understand, my wife is from the Philippines and we have helped out a lot but I told my wife I am done. Her brother claims to keep forgetting about his daughter’s tuition so he keeps asking me to pay it last minute. My wife’s sister use to ask for small amounts, now her family is in the USA because she got a teaching job here she should be financially stable instead of asking for a hundred or two now she says she needs thousands at a time. Her husband is a nurse and claims he has been studying for his nursing exam for certification in the USA but after a year and a half he is still making up reasons for not taking the exam. I had even bought him a computer better than mine to help him study.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +3

      Oh man! That’s bad. Well at least his the sister is working. Sometimes, if you take a long time to do your exam, the more you fail because you will forget everything you’ve learned theoretically and bedside

    • @rialove8451
      @rialove8451 День тому

      Lol your wife is the mastermind, how are you that blind? You think shes actually attracted to you and married you for your winning personality and charm? Please wake up brother, it's the sad truth.
      I've seen it with my eyes, they they have facebook groups teaching families how to attract and marry a foreigner to live off of. It's literally a known and common thing.
      Wake up bro, you are too old to be this Gullible. Unless you actually allow your wife's family to do this to you because you're so desperate for a wife. This is even more pathetic

    • @jacksvegi.plotcooking.7396
      @jacksvegi.plotcooking.7396 День тому

      @@lanienursetraveler

  • @saraocampo9066
    @saraocampo9066 45 хвилин тому +2

    You did absolutely well, don’t worry about them, they don’t deserve it.

  • @maryjillfernandez7136
    @maryjillfernandez7136 2 дні тому +12

    I see your point. I never supported anyone as I already foresee how it will turn out. My experience our recent vacay was nice.

  • @sherwithme5242
    @sherwithme5242 День тому +11

    I feel you... You just lucky (30k) most of us millions of money before we realised enough is enough 😢

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +4

      Yeah but this was like 12 years ago, I was just starting with my nursing career and every cent counts 😫😫 but yeah I heard of other people being scammed by relatives with millions

    • @jamesrecknor6752
      @jamesrecknor6752 День тому +1

      The whole economy of Mindanao and Samar will collapse now that I have quit sending money to the dozen lazy cousins. lol

  • @leon_9114
    @leon_9114 3 дні тому +47

    Waiting for the "Kamag-anak mo pa din yan" comments

    • @kamalaroyale790
      @kamalaroyale790 3 дні тому

      True and this is one of the toxic mentality of many Filipinos. They will try to guilt trip you and make you the bad person.

    • @elbicnivni7273
      @elbicnivni7273 2 дні тому +6

      😂

    • @junreaksaa
      @junreaksaa День тому +5

      Nah. Dont get trapped by that statement.

    • @AlvinKazu
      @AlvinKazu День тому +6

      The people who say that only view it through their own selfish lens.
      They don't care about the people who are being hurt, just that "you shouldn't do that!"
      That cannot empathize or even put themselves in your shoes. RUN AWAY from these poeple.
      They are the same type of people to believe everyone who would slander you, and not ask you for your side. I posted this in a therapy channel, who posted a topic on this recently, but these people are no good. People who don't ask for your side are awful..
      Because they don't care, and only care about their wants.

    • @teekbooy4467
      @teekbooy4467 День тому +2

      Nah no man is island but if i have relatives like that i would rather be in island myself

  • @NikkoPJ
    @NikkoPJ 2 дні тому +10

    You did the right thing, Nurse Lanie! I’m glad you chose not to tolerate their toxic Filipino traits. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior still happens far too often. I hope your experience serves as a lesson for all OFWs out there. Life is tough, especially as a college student with no one supporting you, but I would never take advantage of anyone the way your cousins did.

  • @castor9697
    @castor9697 День тому +6

    Tama na talaga. Dapat isipin mo sarili mo para pag-retire ma-enjoy mo ang yong pinaghirapan. Naramdaman ko noon na para akong milking cow. ❤❤❤

  • @bpo4736
    @bpo4736 3 дні тому +21

    It’s common for this to happen. My uncle was sending money for his daughter and my sister too since they are bestie cousins. Only to find out she ain’t using that money for school 🤦‍♂️.

  • @richardross7219
    @richardross7219 5 годин тому +5

    My late wife was a nurse doing well. Her mother and brothers were leaches off of her. They thought that they were entitled to her money. I put a stop to that. They still over spent but died in debt. Not our problem. Good Luck, Rick

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  5 годин тому +1

      I'm sorry 💔

    • @richardross7219
      @richardross7219 5 годин тому +1

      @@lanienursetraveler Thanks. Martha died from anaplasmosis, a common tick disease. If you work east of the Mississippi, be aware that there are 9 tick diseases now and the tests have high false negative rates(73% for anaplasmosis). The symptoms have stumped many doctors. Happy Travels. Good Luck, Rick

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  5 годин тому +1

      @ oh wow that's crazy. Again I'm sorry for your loss! God bless and good luck!

    • @richardross7219
      @richardross7219 5 годин тому +1

      @@lanienursetraveler Wrong "C" word. Its Common. We had 7 people die from tick diseases in our local hospital that year and we're in a rural area. The government seems to be hidding the statistics. Be careful for yourself and patients. Good Luck, Rick

  • @ericaviolet3694
    @ericaviolet3694 День тому +6

    I have families who also works abroad....we dont ask money unless badly needed, even their boxes we thank them but tell them not to send too much stuff specially chocolates and clothes only the necessities..,.We are grateful for any financial help they can give us but we also know that there is a limit, they also have their own lives and life abroad is difficult.

  • @TheIllpalazo
    @TheIllpalazo День тому +8

    I feel for you. People back home are lazy and spoiled once they know there is someone out there who is going to provide them money. You want them to be better but they do the complete opposite. Good on you for stopping it before it got worse.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +4

      I’m sad about it because I know how it feels not having money but I feel like they will keep asking if I let them

    • @TheChenny73
      @TheChenny73 23 години тому

      @@TheIllpalazo that’s exactly what happened in America when they started dishing out the covid money, nobody wanted to work.

  • @sethrolls6408
    @sethrolls6408 3 години тому +1

    Very proud you stood your ground this needs to be talked about more and more.

  • @vDub_mk5_ndo
    @vDub_mk5_ndo 2 дні тому +9

    Even in the States, you help help help ungrateful or just greedy

  • @MongPhu
    @MongPhu День тому +2

    Glad you found out. Sometimes people don't understand how hard we have to work. And they take us for granted

  • @ishiiflix
    @ishiiflix 2 дні тому +6

    I never had a problem helping my immediate family... I figured God has given me beyond any material things in life and at the end of the day, the impact in my life with the outlook of giving is so much freedom.

  • @cliftonchambers553
    @cliftonchambers553 2 дні тому +7

    I understand your frustration, my wife's family is very ungrateful. They spend like money is found on trees that yo pick freely. They don't know how hard the work is and the amount of crap that you have to put up with.

    • @rialove8451
      @rialove8451 День тому

      That's your fault for marrying a filipino it's our culture it's toxic but you chose it bro. It's their dream to marry some stupid foreign man and leech off him for as long as possible. Are you really that blinded lol. And when you stop she'll find another sorry geezer to live off of. Don't be foolish

    • @anonymiss495
      @anonymiss495 День тому

      Truly vile people that sell their daughter's to creepy western men and their kids to pervert tourists.

  • @anthonybelcina4127
    @anthonybelcina4127 2 дні тому +4

    You did the right thing, don't feel bad.

  • @ConradIsaacs
    @ConradIsaacs Годину тому +2

    Great- it's not just about the amount- it's the principle that's of utmost importance too... An opportunity was given to them of which they ungratefully threw back by being deceitful. So, there's no need for you to feel guilty about it- there might be other family members that will be needing support- perhaps you can focus on them. The important thing is that you made a point of achieving your career goals with your uncle's aid. Make peace with yourself and continue with your life. 🙏

  • @duck8589
    @duck8589 День тому +3

    Sad that people will lie to you after your generosity.
    Also, ot, but your hair is insanely pretty. Your channel is really interesting. All the interesting stories: life, career, travels, cute doggy. Subscribed! Thank you for your nice videos.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      Awww thank you I really do appreciate comments like this ❤️

  • @SC-qg9jl
    @SC-qg9jl День тому +5

    same in thailand, a daughter from a village married a white man, and the whole family thought she was rich because he is white and she obligated to support the whole freaking family. They never care how hard her life in a foreign land, just demanded money. when she decided to move back to live in a house built for them from her money, the parents, brother, sister, even sister-in-law, and didn't give them money as she used to, they treated with no respect and are so rudely ungrateful. She saw their tru color and moved back to the foreign country again and never send them a dime even though they try to beg for.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      Good for her. All of us learn the hard way because of how we were taught, help family but sometimes our help turns them lazy and ungrateful unfortunately

  • @amadeomoable
    @amadeomoable День тому +7

    One of the reason why your relatives will never work hard is because they have you as source of money.

    • @fdm2155
      @fdm2155 5 годин тому

      Nah. Sadly, they are just not good people. OP got help from her uncle and used it appropriately. Her cousins wasted the help. My brother helped me start college. I would never have thrown his money away!

  • @Larsgman
    @Larsgman 2 години тому +2

    People in very poor countries think everyone over here is rich and well off.
    Maybe in comparison yes, most people have a higher standard of living and make more money, but what a lot of those people don’t understand is that everything is expensive too.
    Inflation is spiraling out of control, not even fast food is cheap anymore. Gas is currently 2.29 a gallon here, but who knows how long that will last.
    I make only $26 an hour and for many that would sound like i am living like a king, but on the weeks that i do only 40 hours, i am literally living paycheck to paycheck.
    I have to make minimum 50 hours to be able to survive comfortably, and if i need money to spend on gifts or other things i dont need, i have to work like 60-84 hours a week.

  • @gilbertolivares1054
    @gilbertolivares1054 2 дні тому +8

    Ipunin mo na lang, kapag ikaw ang nawalan wala kang malalapitan , parang Sakin , halos araw araw may lumalapit , nanghingi, tinutulungan ko syempre kamag anak, nung ako nawalan ni Isa wala akong nalapitan puro dahilan, lesson learned, matuto magdamot,

    • @BarokTamad
      @BarokTamad 2 дні тому +1

      May nalalapitan sila for their emergency….ako si credit card ang takbohan😂😂

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +1

      Yeah dati ayoko makarinig ng nga masasama about me. Kaya tulong ng tulong Pero parang nagamit na ako talaga. Yung kabaitan antin sinasagad

    • @junreaksaa
      @junreaksaa День тому

      Double edga yan. Ikw nawawalan tpos cla ngging tamad. Me locally lng, i would send money s province s mga kamag-anak ko pro ngaun ndi na. Mga kamag-anak ngaun dont know the word "utang na luob".😅😅😅

  • @janicebolosan119
    @janicebolosan119 38 хвилин тому +1

    That happened with my grandma's village. She left for the US and never went back. Many years later, the neighbors came to San Francisco to visit other family members. They had the nerve to ask for money. My auntie said if they had money for travel, they don't need money from my side of the family. We never met the people living in her village!

  • @UnknownNameUnknownNumber
    @UnknownNameUnknownNumber 2 дні тому +6

    I recently when to Philippines (October2024), last time in went was in 2003. Automatically my uncle ask me for money, i did gave them $100 Canadian, he then followed up telling me i have to give money to his wife, i just did another $100 canadian. The following day, my cousin asked me for Canadian money, i stupidly gave her out of kindness, first it was $100, then she asked for another $100 then another, then again and again she keep asking for more money, in total i gave my cousin $370 in the end out of kindness, i havent seen them since 2003. The following day my cousin asked me for more money, i told her i gave her $370 Canadian. She said she gave it all to her dad when i left her sight(the one who asks for money for him and his wife). Everyday they try to get me to give them money or make me pay for going out with them (restaurants, retail stores, etc.) I will never go back to Philippines anymore. Least to say, 2024 Philippines vacation was horrible beyond belief

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +3

      That always happened to my uncle back then to. They are so demanding too. I haven’t been back home for a long long time

    • @smann7236
      @smann7236 2 дні тому

      Aren't they embarrassed to ask? It's similar thailand too, very greedy people.

  • @PaddyDoesasia-bj3bb
    @PaddyDoesasia-bj3bb День тому +6

    That's not just a Philippines problem

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      That's true. This also exist in other countries

    • @ontheroad5555
      @ontheroad5555 День тому

      @PaddyDoesasia-bj3bb maybe you can cite some links of people from Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam. Laos. etc who make similar videos. It's not just the scamming. One of my Filipino friends told me she came across a video of a Filipino nurse who was complaining that her brother in the Philippines wants her to buy her a car. Then she went off explaining how in Canada she has to pay for heating bills before it's so cold there most of the year. And many other expenses she has unlike in the Philippines you can eat fruits off of trees if you got no money. I'm a retired nurse myself I know how hard it is to work as a nurse. A Filipino nurse from Canada came here to work in NYC. She is currently renting a room from me while she looks for an apartment. She was telling me just today how one of the nurses made two medication errors when she give the wrong medicine to two patients in the same room in the nursing home. There is so much work there. Very demanding. And the residents asking for pain medicine. And some families keep bothering you. She said that nurse started to cry. Since then the nurse who made the mistake did not show up for work. She said that place was overwhelming where too many things have to be done. Like setting IV tubes. passing narcotics to patients, documentation. Even last night she came in here after midnight I had no idea because I was asleep. She went to work in the morning on Thanksgiving Day. She text me to say that they told her they need her to work a double shift. And if it is safe to take the bus home. I told her take a car service because that nursing home is about 15 minutes by car from where I live. And the bus would take forever on a holiday to get home. Nursing is very stressful.. If it were an easy job I would go work part time for the holidays but no thanks. I prefer to go travel to exotic places when I can. I was already in the Philippines last month, and in India in September. During the winter I already have a remote work from home job that requires my nursing skills but not working in a clinical setting.

  • @vibesz
    @vibesz 8 годин тому +2

    I’m Guyanese, my mother and her siblings who moved to USA and Canada would send money back home to her remaining sibling in Guyana. Funny part is she lived like a queen in Guyana off of everyone’s hard earned money. That’s the difference between thriving nations and poor ones. In the USA we don’t expect others to fund our lives, and we work hard for our $$.

  • @32jsantos
    @32jsantos 18 годин тому +2

    😔 You're not alone. Family back home think money grows on trees here in Canada. They only talk to us whenever they need money and don't care what happens to us here 😔. We stopped sending money to our cousins and no longer speak with them.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  18 годин тому +1

      Isn't that crazy how we are oblige to send money. Its sad but I would help them
      If they are honest

  • @Margaret-h2p
    @Margaret-h2p 3 години тому +1

    Just came across this Video and I'm very Proud of you 👏.
    You're the one who has to work your Butt off, no one will just come and put that money into your hands...
    You have your own responsibility to handle and you tried your best to help! But they just want to live a carefree lifestyle, it doesn't work that way....
    After working your Butt off and having to take in the different seasons, who is there to rubbed your tired feet or body...
    Blessings and keep focus always 🙏 ❤...

  • @cashbadger3209
    @cashbadger3209 3 дні тому +6

    You are right dont feel bad. My wife is a filipina. She was an OFW in Macau. When I married her she had no money. She used to send everything back home and she was the youngest. Her nieces and nephews just used all her money. They now try to get money from me. No way.

  • @mallen4000
    @mallen4000 День тому +2

    Thanks for sharing what happened to you from a family member ,and please know that it was wrong to be treated that way .

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      A lot of Filipinos I know have had this experience that I know can relat

  • @JJ-sr2ht
    @JJ-sr2ht 2 дні тому +6

    Sucks for them, another wasted opportunity, they think they are entitled, tell them to get a job

  • @chonle9931
    @chonle9931 3 години тому +1

    Same here as in Vietnamese,
    The first time is so much thanks,the second time they think they entitled to it,the third time they think it’s your obligation to send your hard earned money over, and yes,it’s human nature !

  • @AWNR426
    @AWNR426 2 дні тому +4

    Same thing happened to my two cousins from Mindanao. My auntie from the US supported them through nursing school. My younger cousin married a bit ..we'll just call her Pam, who manipulated him into using the money for nonsense like purses and vacation trips and she nearly broke my cousin's family apart. My tita in the US never knew until my cousin and pam started doing residency in the US, guess my auntie in mindanao never told her because she was ashamed. Now my auntie in the US won't send anyone money because of one bad apple that wasn't even family in the first place ☹️

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +1

      Yeah it’s sad but most family do it. My cousins have been also doing it to my uncle back then. Using his money for drugs

    • @ShomoGoldburgler
      @ShomoGoldburgler 2 дні тому

      @@AWNR426 if you want money = you have to work for it.
      Simple really

  • @totoroutes5389
    @totoroutes5389 6 годин тому +2

    One way to help extended family is to offer to cover tuition for on-the-job training in a high demand trade. Proof of attendance and progress and direct payment from the giver to the school would be required. No wire transfers to the student at any time.
    Give someone apple feed them for one day, teach them to farm apple feed them for life.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  6 годин тому +1

      Yes I should have done this. But like I have told people here, this was 2010-2011 in a very small province where online payment or wiring was not yet available.

    • @totoroutes5389
      @totoroutes5389 6 годин тому +2

      ​@lanienursetraveler
      My mother and father are filipino immigrants in Canada. I say don't worry about it just take care of yourself your own life plans and your parents. Forget the rest.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  6 годин тому +1

      Yes 🙏

  • @Eduardo-m2i
    @Eduardo-m2i 21 годину тому +3

    I remember speaking with a Filipino man in the USA. His Filipino wife is a RN and had sent for him to come to the states. He was lazy and didn't want to work and wanted to return to the Philippines and let his wife support him while he enjoyed a carefree life with his friends, drinking and smoking. This, I remember is true about OSFWs who send money back home to their lazy unemployed husbands in the Philippines.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  21 годину тому

      Noooo way I would allow that. My coworkers have their husbands take care of their kids, the house and drive them around

    • @Eduardo-m2i
      @Eduardo-m2i 21 годину тому +1

      @@lanienursetraveler The Filipino I spoke with had a part time job here in the states. He spent his free time drinking and partying with loose women. He bragged about it.

    • @Eduardo-m2i
      @Eduardo-m2i 21 годину тому +2

      @@lanienursetraveler When the cats away the mice will play. Did you ever hear this?

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  19 годин тому +1

      @@Eduardo-m2i hahaha yeah i know

  • @lauragodines8939
    @lauragodines8939 6 годин тому +1

    Hello..you are a good person..even with family or friends..you and only you eat drink and live life..able people can do good money working 60 hours per week..they will enjoy the food they eat because proudly they work very hard for it..🎉

  • @JaakJacobus
    @JaakJacobus 2 дні тому +4

    The fact they still dare to ask more, shows they don't have any moral values AT ALL. If it acts like trash, it is trash. Don't waist your money on trash.

  • @shuininomi
    @shuininomi 5 годин тому +1

    I can relate to your situation most of my relatives in the Philippines have the same mindset.

  • @Jvmanjii
    @Jvmanjii День тому +4

    If my relative asks for money for their kids birthday or going for an outing graduation party,I say sorry if you don't have money for celebrations then don't plan for any , Stop borrowing money so you could show off that you can ,If you ask me that someone is in need of money because needed a badly medication and requires hospitalisation,if I have why not I will gladly help.

    • @catea2551
      @catea2551 День тому

      how do you know they are telling the truth?

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      Yep same thing for me. When I came here abroad. I haven't even started working yet and my cousin who is also a nurse but refused to work in the Philippines demanded money for his son’s bday because he wants to have it in Jollibee and me and my sis were like, why don't you get that money yourself, that's your kid anyway and we don't have money here were still depending on our parents back then

  • @Veronica-tn2xc
    @Veronica-tn2xc 7 годин тому

    I really appreciate Philippines. My nurses in Dubai and Jeddah are Philippines and are so nice. They really work hard when they leave the country.

  • @rhead4516
    @rhead4516 День тому +2

    it depends on the family you’re born into. I am also Filipino and we are not well off by any means. My family does not demand for money but I still give them when I can and they are grateful. We also have relatives abroad and we don’t ask them for pasalubong or balikbayan box whatever because we know that life is hard and money doesn’t grow on trees. May mga Pinoy lang talaga na akala sa mga nasa abroad ay milyonaryo

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому

      You're blessed then. And you're right talaga it depends Sa family you're born in into.

  • @letsbefrank6269
    @letsbefrank6269 2 години тому +1

    Well done, look after yourself, go far.

  • @TheVineOfChristLives
    @TheVineOfChristLives 2 дні тому +3

    0:51 sending money directly to the relative for tuition is the first mistake.
    There are bank accounts linked with schools and payments can be directly made online from where you sit to the school registrar, what you want is an official receipt for said transaction. OFW’s can use laws and legal helpdesks from the Philippines so that your large sums don’t get swindled. Just keep screenshots and emails of your transactions.
    Never gamble family trust by putting big money in their hands.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +1

      This was 2011 and it was in a small province. Wala pa online stuff dati

  • @tomster7574
    @tomster7574 Годину тому +1

    Before my Filipino wife and I got married, we both agreed that we’re not gonna be sending money back to her family to help them out. They’re all gainfully employed and able to help solve quite easily. When her parents got sick, we all chipped in to help take care of them. And their funeral expenses, which followed soon. Wasn’t just us, but everyone helped pay for it.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  Годину тому +1

      That's great. Not all Filipino families are bad, most of them are very kind and trustworthy. There are just some that would lie and cheat. And thats why I think your wife is blessed with her family

  • @lcxb8575
    @lcxb8575 День тому +3

    You weren't the a**hole. They weren't interested in going to school. Maybe their "friends" can treat them now to Jollibee.

  • @obiwankenobi5769
    @obiwankenobi5769 3 години тому +1

    This happens a lot from people in all kinds of countries. It's quite sad

  • @chinatownboy7482
    @chinatownboy7482 2 дні тому +5

    Auntie, you are brave to put your foot down. You have to draw the line. Otherwise, they will use and abuse you.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому +1

      For sure. Why auntie?? I’m not that old lol 🤪🤪🤪

    • @chinatownboy7482
      @chinatownboy7482 День тому +1

      @@lanienursetraveler It is cultural, customary, and ordinary, to address you with a honorific title. I am trying to be respectful. Would you rather be "hun", "babe", or "sexy"?

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      @@chinatownboy7482 ahahhha

  • @antster7
    @antster7 День тому +2

    When I was in elementary in the Philippines, My teacher made the kids stand up who was late in paying their tuition. I was one of them. I can recall the shame I felt that day 😞.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому

      That made me sad.i remember we have to go out of the room while our classmates take the exam. It was so embarrassing but you have to just swallow your pride and act like you don't care what your classmates think

    • @lcxb8575
      @lcxb8575 День тому +1

      I know someone this happened to. Being walked out by nuns (Maryknoll) would be humiliating. They won't let you back to school untill everything is paid up through the end of the semester.

    • @pinay1999
      @pinay1999 День тому +1

      How horrible! Education should be FREE!!

    • @jeanetteh.9240
      @jeanetteh.9240 7 годин тому

      I'm very sorry that happened to you. Try to remember that you were not responsible for paying your tuition, so you should not feel ashamed. Easier said than done, I know!

  • @MuseSmoothTunez-p7z
    @MuseSmoothTunez-p7z 4 години тому +1

    It's often family and close friends who exploit opportunities, only to realize their worth once they're no longer available.

  • @datoolz0
    @datoolz0 3 дні тому +5

    Your uncle was a great guy and helped you a lot ..so since HE's the one who asked you to help cousins with their schooling .. pay the money to their mom and or direct to school, not them.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  3 дні тому +1

      This was in 2011 and our little province didn’t have any online pay and internet was not a big thing back then so have to do it manualy

    • @datoolz0
      @datoolz0 3 дні тому +1

      @@lanienursetraveler No it makes sense .. so frustrating how badly some members of your family treated you

  • @derrickclark5510
    @derrickclark5510 2 години тому +2

    Family will suck you dry if you let them.

  • @CYPanda1
    @CYPanda1 3 дні тому +4

    Pretty much all 1st Generation Asian immigrants can relate. Even 2nd-3rd gen if they're supporting the extended family. Best thing to do is to be real with them and let them know things are expensive in the states and not everyone is making high 6 figures with disposable income. Best of luck to all Asian Villagers 😂

  • @ronaldr.236
    @ronaldr.236 3 години тому +1

    Support should not be expected but appreciated. If it comes to a point where the financial sacrifice of OFW’s becomes, to themselves, a burden and turns to the lone source of income to the relatives back home, then it needs to be seriously reconsidered. There’s jobs back home, at that, some good paying depending, of course, in one’s educational background. The country is not a failed state and is a consistently growing economy. Financial support for education to those attending costly universities and colleges is not a problem. It is when the support turns into the relatives’ main source of livelihood.

  • @Mar-enfrance
    @Mar-enfrance День тому +3

    These women who go abroad to work as slaves sometimes, whatever they send will NEVER be enough. The relatives are getting free money, why should they stop. They will curse ans ostracise you after. Let them work for a change.
    Stop this, and look after yourselves. Good luck.

  • @Capirucha65
    @Capirucha65 2 години тому +1

    This happens almost every where,friends ,family all come out of the woodwork asking for money

  • @SickGrand-Pa
    @SickGrand-Pa 2 дні тому +3

    That is so sad to hear, Lanie. You have done your duty, so your cousins will have to pay the price for being untruthful. I know many families who send money back home. 80% of their families use the money well. But the other 20% blow their money off. The worst are the husbands of nannies working in Canada, Singapore and Taiwan who spend their money on women and bars. I personally know 5 nannies who divorced their husbands. Once they get their permanent residency or green card, they get their children to join them. Their former husbands are left to suffer for their infidelity and stupidity.

  • @yenyen6212
    @yenyen6212 12 годин тому

    YES! And it will never be enough for them 🫠

  • @nezdesigns6839
    @nezdesigns6839 2 дні тому +3

    Same here!

  • @timetravelpassion923
    @timetravelpassion923 19 годин тому +1

    And that’s actually HOW you help them by NOT helping them. They will learn how to support themselves and they will be very thankful for that🙏🏻

  • @schizo4932
    @schizo4932 15 годин тому +2

    I got to college sponsored by my aunt who is living in Canada, She sends 3,500 pesos every month, The tuition free? PHP 100 per semester thats about Two frickin US dollars, where? Some state university no one knows about. Yes ok lang kahit hindi sa Big 4 or big 3 whatever you call it college but it's alright para average bloke that lives outside the capital.
    Picture ko pa enrollment form ko at send kay tita kahit hinde tinatanong,
    3,500 Pesos, 30% yan ng average monthly pay sa dito sa labas ng NCR. Tae saakin ka nalang sana nag send ng 30k, Send monsaakin yang kahit 20k monthly, mag thank you ako sayonaraw araw, ipag dadasal pa kita.

  • @c.c.541
    @c.c.541 11 годин тому +2

    Giving financial support to relatives is generally a bad idea (emergency situations are an exception, of course). It's not healthy for them. They tend to become overly dependent and lazy. They also forget about boundaries. People get tough and resourceful when they are on their own.
    It's amazing what money can do to people. Even parents would swindle money from their children.

  • @unkindguy88
    @unkindguy88 День тому +3

    Ako nga mismong nanay ko di ko na pinapadalhan, mga pinsan pa kaya hahahaha!!!!

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому

      Buti ka pa. Nanghihingi ba cla?

    • @101_DailyLife
      @101_DailyLife День тому +2

      Minsan, magkakaiba ang sitwasyon. Nang panahon na Sobrang Hirap kami sa pag-aaral. At walang pambaon papuntang college. Humingi ang nanay ko sa kapatid niyang nasa Amerika ng tulong financial. Binanggit pa ni mama na babayaran niya ito kapag nakaluwag na. Ang binanggit ng kapatid niya pahintuin mo sa pag-aaral ang mga anak mo kung di mo kayang suportahan. Sa awa ng Diyos ay nakapagtapos na kami at may mga maayos naman na kaming buhay sa tiyaga ng aming nanay na Walang tulong mula sa auntie namin sa Amerika. Look for a cousin who really need and deserve your help. Not necessarily your nearest kin.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому +1

      @ yes this was how I felt. Ang Hirap ng buhay namin at pasalamat ako tnulungan ako ng Tito ko. I was hoping my cousins would do the same. Ang hirap dati may exam Tapos Hindi maka pag exam kasi walang pera. Cla may pera na nga nilalastay pa

  • @talktimewitheddiej
    @talktimewitheddiej День тому +1

    Happy for you, you can focus on your life ✨️

  • @scrubs026
    @scrubs026 2 дні тому +3

    I hear you there gurl.. its not about not helping out family bec were we're helped in the past its a matter of respect and gratefulness towards other. Learning tk build boundaries is hard bec its not our culture but its the best way we can do to care and protect ourselves.

  • @joyrobert7486
    @joyrobert7486 18 годин тому +1

    I did the same when they started ungrateful and became toxic.

  • @dyslexicbien
    @dyslexicbien День тому +6

    Wag ka magtitiwala sa kapwa mo Filipino. Karamihan sa kababayan natin masama talaga

  • @aatsista
    @aatsista Годину тому +1

    I'm not a descendent of immigrants but I have a toxic immediate family with cousins that sponged off my grandparents until the day they died after being repeatedly reported for elder financial abuse that the authorities had no control over cos grandparents always protected them & when they died, they all tried to sponge off me too cos me & my husband rent a big condo & own our own vehicle. I cut them off & went no contact. It's lonely sometimes but I value myself too much to go back to that abusive situation. There's nothing wrong with any of them besides their drinking & drugs keeping them from having everything I do! Hang in there & choose to go no contact. It's better this way for your own peace. ❤

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  Годину тому

      Wow the elder financial abuse is crazy. Yes I'm glad you stood your ground! GOD BLESS!

  • @CurlyTops25
    @CurlyTops25 2 дні тому +3

    Mahirap tulungan un mga taong batugan, greedy at ungrateful na tao...tama lang ginawa mo

  • @nyogibear
    @nyogibear День тому +2

    My dad helped his two cousins become lawyers. To cut the story short, when he hit rock bottom, he was told this two cousins whom he helped were the ones telling their relatives not to help him coz his tamad raw. Sadly he wasn’t able to get back on them coz he learned about it on his death bed.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  День тому

      What? That's crazy?.

    • @nyogibear
      @nyogibear День тому +1

      @ Sad but true. Not only that, i mean during my Dad’s heydays, he was stupid. He seemed more having habag with his old nuclear family than his own family. He purchased back a land sold by his parents and didnt even bother to make a fuss about it during those times our family hit rock bottom. While his brothers and sisters were busy fighting on who get the most share out of it, he remained silent. We only came to know about it that land was ours years when he passed away when our eldest brother got hold of the deed of sale itself. You see some Dads just ought not to be parents I guess.

  • @kowakoh
    @kowakoh 2 дні тому +2

    When you marry a Filipina, you have to support her whole family as well as the extended leeches.

    • @lanienursetraveler
      @lanienursetraveler  2 дні тому

      I don’t want to agree to this but this is sometimes true.😔😞

    • @blyky710
      @blyky710 17 годин тому

      If you are a sex tourist yes, pay the family too. She doesn't really want to be with you so to compensate her sacrifice you should pay the family. If you don't like it don't exploit the 3rd world by travelling for a wife.

  • @excedere-gobeyond
    @excedere-gobeyond День тому +2

    I'm afraid this applies all around the world, people just take advantage especially when family!

  • @stevenundzid4765
    @stevenundzid4765 3 дні тому +3

    In my opinion this could be a great teaching lesson for them. You could still help by telling them last chance and you'll pay the school directly and they need to show grades and have job side line to help them eat. Remember they need to be taught proper best wishes thanks for sharing

    • @muskeepaps7689
      @muskeepaps7689 2 дні тому +1

      Same experience. I'm not working abroad, dito lang sa Pinas and paycheck to paycheck din pero may Malayo akong kamag anak na need ng help pag aralin mga anak. To make the story short pangatlong chance na to sa kanila. kasi ung pera pampaaral nagagamit sa ibang bagay at yung bata di pumapasok. 4 sila pinag aral ko pero 2 lang pla nag aaral. After ilang years ung isa construction worker na ngayon and ung isa at age 20 nag aral ulit. Naka graduate last year ng ALS. Ngayon nag aaral pa rin so 3 na sila ulit nag aaral na magkakapatid. I would say immature pa noon. Tinatamad pumasok akala ok lang. Di kasi nila alam ang consequence. After years of struggle na-realize na masarap pala mag aral at alam na nila na pag nakatapos sila e makakatulong din sila sa family at ma stop ang cycle ng poverty. Ang condition ko lang basta pumasa sila.