It only says his offering was born of the soil in the actual text. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
Really important thing to keep in mind here is that Abel wasn't just the first person to be murdered, he was the first person to DIE. Cain had NO IDEA what was about to happen.
My favorite version of this is in SMT Devil Survivor where (spoilers) The reincarnation of Cain talks to you, the reincarnation of Abel, about how it was bullshit that God wanted blood for a sacrifice even though he knew for a fact that Cain was a farmer and couldn't get blood from crops.
Sorry but that’s some BS right there. The real story is that Cain only gave a crop because he was lazy and thought himself too good to go through the trouble of sacrificing something as valuable as a sheep
Yes it is the story. As explained by the villain who insists that he never did anything wrong and was put upon the whole time and it's everyone else's fault besides mine.
@@lilwyvern4 You know goddamn well that denying wrongdoing at all costs is as fundamental a human attribute as breathing. I watch shit ton of anime. Believe me America does not have the market cornered on denying wrong doing.
@@RenegadeSparks In fairness, you, OP and Woolie are wrong. The problem was that Cain specifically decided to not to give up his best produce, while Abel did. God literally explained to Cain this is why Abel got a better blessing. Cain doesnt understand, gets buttmad and murders his brother. Thats the story.
Old Testament God raises a LOT of questions that cant really be handwaved with 'mysterious ways dude'. Like, why does he even need to eat? Abel sacrifices the LIVES of the goats, God doesn't devour their flesh, he's beyond food, he's omnipotent for Christ's sake. The goat doesn't have a soul, and even if it did itd just be ascending to heaven and pop right up beside god. So he's just eating the... symbolic value of the goats? Or like the spilt lifeblood of the goats? What did he want Cain to do, buy a goat from Abel and THEN sacrifice it? What is the point of this lesson? Was this even a test at all? Its like Lil Johnny Bible-writer just wrote this part in to spite his mom for making him eat vegetables, but even that doesn't make sense because whoever wrote the bible would be hyped for vegetables because famine was rampant and soda didnt exist to ruin their palettes. Cain and Abel really is the dumbest part of the bible. It has no lesson, the premise makes no sense and it doesn't inspire either fear or awe of God
The demand made by God- repeated throughout the Old Testament- is that sacrifice shouldn't just be culling your herd, or even making an adequate offering. You have to give the best thing you've got. Did Cain really not sacrifice his best vegetables? Did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had? Did Cain get punished (with superpowers???) not for kinslaying, but having the -AUDACITY- to lie to God? Is the Bible trying to say "You don't make friends with salad!" as an ancient rebuttal to "Simpsons did it?" The vagaries of the universe are an enigma.
@@trevalyan006 Yo "did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had?" ....YOOOOO. I never even thought of that! Oh man, that makes god super bad guy! Or a screw-up, but he's supposed to be omnipotent, unless that was a lie and god totally hates the church for that.
On the sacrifice thing, it's interesting that it makes a lot more sense when you replace God with Khorne "Blood for the Blood God, Khorne cares not where the blood flows as long as it flows" And Cain gives him that premium fratricide blood, so Khorne goes "Sick, here's a power litterally based around blood-thirst and blood-spilling"
I remember as a kid I always thought the meme of kids hating vegetables was weird, because I loved vegetables. Broccoli? Fuck yeah. Sprouts? Pile em on. Peas? I used to eat them raw by the bag. Only thing I actively refused to eat (and still do to this day) were mushrooms. Fuck mushrooms.
A lot of Bible literalists I know say Cain should've known and that when God killed an animal to clothes Adam and Eve that was an example. But if you're going to take the Bible literally and not assume anything, there is no passage that explains God told Cain and family what was an acceptable sacrifice. So I feel bad for Cain before he killed Abel- like that guy who died when he touched the Ark of the Covenant to try to keep it from falling when the oxen tripped.
He also makes no attempt to explain his moral system to people before flooding the world, and yet when he says to take 7 of every "clean" animal, Noah's response isn't "what the fuck is a clean animal, you won't tell us about that for several chapters". The Biblical writers had a bad case of presentism.
I want the podcast to have a weekly Woolie vs God section, where Woolie teaches the clueless Pat (and the clueless audience) about the crazy stuff he learned from Sunday school.
I was praying that this would be animated as soon as the conversation started on the podcast. I love even more that you put in the part where Pat didn't even know what was going on in the beginning
I read a manga the other day where the opening animation of Woolie and God going in for Super punches literally happened with Adam the first human and Zeus of Olympus. Shit was hype!
I really love how Jordan decides when someone needs full mouth animation and when they can just toss a still shot in there and the viewer knows what's going on.
"Cain, you killed your brother, so now I will curse you to wander the earth and never die. Also, here's some superpowers." -God "Punishing" Cain in the VTM universe
In the old testament yes. But in the new testament it was reversed because back then royals thought meat was for the rich and powerful and vegies were for the peasants.
Super delayed, but IIRC there are actually three theories about why the veggies were rejected: 1) Jewish customs at the time equated blood with sacrifice. Abel's offering was seen as superior because the blood of the lamb had heavier weight than veggies. 2) Abel's sacrifice is mentioned as being "first-born" and "fatted," while nothing is said of Cain's sacrifice, so it's possible Cain did really bad at taking care of his crops. 3) After the sacrifice, God talks to Cain asking why he's angry over what happened and basically implying that if Cain was truly trying to seek favor with God, it would have been accepted.
What I particularly love about these shorts is how it seems like a TV Show. Woolie is the host and Pat is like that child side character who's their assistant.
vampires exist because god dont want tomat on his burger. i can respect a man who keeps his burger grass free, but thats a bit of a nuclear option dont you think?
"In the Bible the two brothers made offerings to God. Abel offered the Lord some lamb chops. Cain gave him some Weetabix or some shit. Naturally, God liked Abel's offer a lot more. So Cain dis-Abel'd his brother by murdering him with a fucking rock." -SsethTzeentach
They did a similar joke in the manga "Saint Young Men." Jesus and Buddha are heading off to a barbeque with their Yakuza friend, and Jesus worries about veggies being at the barbeque, because his dad really loves meat, and the last time God went to a barbeque with veggies on the grill, it lead to Cain murdering Abel with the rock. There was also a bit later on where Abel tried to prove that Cain didn't actually murder him. The trial ended with Cain trying to murder Abel a second time, with the very same rock as before, which had been brought by Abel in as a form of evidence meant to prove Cain's innocence.
Woolie, the grilled vegetables weren't the problem. It only says his offering was born of the soil. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
Well with. Win he just brought like just regular crops. They weren’t particularly good from what I remember. Abel on the other hand raised and specially bred his sheep and chose the healthiest and most beautiful lamb before god. Abel went far and beyond what god asked of him and Cain simply did what he was told and didn’t put as much comparable effort into his offering. That’s what I was taught in bible school before it turned into a shit show and my family left it.
Look, who’s the one holding the Bible, you or Father Woolie? That’s right, the good father. Now shut up and eat your vegetables before you start getting lashes.
Dalton McBleh Right Brother Dalton you’re right I’ll be a good Christian man and blindly follow what father Chewie says. Because that’s what a good follower does. Right?
Nah, go back and read the verses, nothing in there at all about inferior produce. It really is just that god liked what Abel brought better and Cain got jelly.
AncelDeLambert ok then. I mean this was written in the equivalent of the. Bronze Age and animal sacrifice was a big part of many religions including Judaism which is what Christianity and Islam are branched off from. So in all honesty that cultural idea is what is probably reflected in the Bible. Eh IDK.
I've gotten a full stomach of food just by coming to a weekend grill party with mustard, ketchup, milk and coffee. Because nobody remembers to bring those things but everyone sure wants them when it's the time.
![Woolie vs GOD: "Scumbag Jacob" [Animation]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/iibnwMwpmiI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Woolie vs GOD: "Scumbag Jacob" [Animation]](/img/tr.png)
God doesn't eat his veggies, now we got vampires... That's the lesson.
Vampires rule
I mean to be fair those veggies were shit tier
Yeah and that asshole Drachy'en also showed up
"When life gives you lemons, give the lemons aids."
It only says his offering was born of the soil in the actual text. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
I want the entire Bible explained to me by this man. How can we kickstart the gospel according to Woolz?
"The Woolie Bible"
Exclusive on the Epic store
I think we can make it happen!
Where do I sign, when’s mass?
But he has to be telling it to Pat
"Naturally, God liked Able's offering a lot more. So Cain dis-Abled his brother, by murdering him with a fuckin' rock."
Hey, hey, people
Seth here.
Really important thing to keep in mind here is that Abel wasn't just the first person to be murdered, he was the first person to DIE. Cain had NO IDEA what was about to happen.
Animals did die though seemingly so I imagine he had an idea or hope.
You might've re-uploaded the video but you can't erase your shame Woolie.
What shame.
The real ones saw it. We know what's up.
[BLACKOUT GOD] Lives on in our souls
"You fucked up! You fucked up!"
What actually happened?
Vampires happened because God loves meat.
THAT'S THE CANON!
Learn the lore Catholic Church.
So God is the reason Malkavians exist? YAAAAAAAAY!
God hating vegetables indirectly caused twilight.
My favorite version of this is in SMT Devil Survivor where (spoilers)
The reincarnation of Cain talks to you, the reincarnation of Abel, about how it was bullshit that God wanted blood for a sacrifice even though he knew for a fact that Cain was a farmer and couldn't get blood from crops.
I guess this is the part when you decide which moral compass to follow?
Sorry but that’s some BS right there. The real story is that Cain only gave a crop because he was lazy and thought himself too good to go through the trouble of sacrificing something as valuable as a sheep
I mean, God is an asshole in the SMT universe.
@@krypticunlimited6925 Mate you really think chilling around some animals making sure they don't get killed is harder work than toiling in the fields?
@@krypticunlimited6925 Having read it, that isn't even implied. God just isn't happy if nothing is hurt in the process of appeasing him.
At the ending I was not expecting, The HEAD OF DIO.
I missed that the first time.
...Is that Vamp over there too??
Well he was a big steak eater while Jonathan stuck to his veggies like a good boy
*_KONO DIO DA!_*
Or Vamp hiding in the trees.
What if,you wanted to be thanked for bringing the veggies,but god said:*Nah son.*
Murder, obviously. It's like you didn't even watch the video.
In the words of Akihiko Sanada: *I ' V E B E E N W A I T I N G F O R T H I S !*
Waiting was part of my strategy!
Waiting and running, otherwise known as laziness and cowardice, are part of my strategy, just like Papa Pat taught me.
RandoChris Also in the words of Akihiko Sanada: "whatiswrongwiththiscountry..."
Oh god that really is the story
Like no exaggeration
This is somehow just barely hitting me like 15 years later
Yes it is the story. As explained by the villain who insists that he never did anything wrong and was put upon the whole time and it's everyone else's fault besides mine.
@@wolfdemexico Hey, denying wrongdoing at all costs is the American way! Cain was just ahead of his time! A real entrepreneur!
@@lilwyvern4 You know goddamn well that denying wrongdoing at all costs is as fundamental a human attribute as breathing. I watch shit ton of anime. Believe me America does not have the market cornered on denying wrong doing.
@@wolfdemexico I mean, it doesn't change that God arbitrarily decided "Fuck you gardener, I only care about THE FLESH SACRIFICE"
@@RenegadeSparks In fairness, you, OP and Woolie are wrong.
The problem was that Cain specifically decided to not to give up his best produce, while Abel did. God literally explained to Cain this is why Abel got a better blessing. Cain doesnt understand, gets buttmad and murders his brother.
Thats the story.
Old Testament God raises a LOT of questions that cant really be handwaved with 'mysterious ways dude'.
Like, why does he even need to eat? Abel sacrifices the LIVES of the goats, God doesn't devour their flesh, he's beyond food, he's omnipotent for Christ's sake.
The goat doesn't have a soul, and even if it did itd just be ascending to heaven and pop right up beside god.
So he's just eating the... symbolic value of the goats? Or like the spilt lifeblood of the goats?
What did he want Cain to do, buy a goat from Abel and THEN sacrifice it?
What is the point of this lesson? Was this even a test at all?
Its like Lil Johnny Bible-writer just wrote this part in to spite his mom for making him eat vegetables, but even that doesn't make sense because whoever wrote the bible would be hyped for vegetables because famine was rampant and soda didnt exist to ruin their palettes.
Cain and Abel really is the dumbest part of the bible. It has no lesson, the premise makes no sense and it doesn't inspire either fear or awe of God
The demand made by God- repeated throughout the Old Testament- is that sacrifice shouldn't just be culling your herd, or even making an adequate offering. You have to give the best thing you've got. Did Cain really not sacrifice his best vegetables? Did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had? Did Cain get punished (with superpowers???) not for kinslaying, but having the -AUDACITY- to lie to God? Is the Bible trying to say "You don't make friends with salad!" as an ancient rebuttal to "Simpsons did it?"
The vagaries of the universe are an enigma.
@@trevalyan006 *spills* *milk*
@@miscmer8030 yeah sorry, your girlfriend might need a Plan B or something.
@@trevalyan006 Yo "did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had?" ....YOOOOO. I never even thought of that! Oh man, that makes god super bad guy! Or a screw-up, but he's supposed to be omnipotent, unless that was a lie and god totally hates the church for that.
On the sacrifice thing, it's interesting that it makes a lot more sense when you replace God with Khorne
"Blood for the Blood God, Khorne cares not where the blood flows as long as it flows"
And Cain gives him that premium fratricide blood, so Khorne goes "Sick, here's a power litterally based around blood-thirst and blood-spilling"
And that why today kids hate broccoli.
*BECAUSE GOD SAID SO!*
Fuck God! I've always like broccoli.
@@trevingrayek791 And so Trevin Grayek began his descent into evil...
@@Chadius At least I'm not those bastards at Pure Flix.
Well, we ARE made in His image...
I remember as a kid I always thought the meme of kids hating vegetables was weird, because I loved vegetables.
Broccoli? Fuck yeah.
Sprouts? Pile em on.
Peas? I used to eat them raw by the bag.
Only thing I actively refused to eat (and still do to this day) were mushrooms.
Fuck mushrooms.
I can't believe DIO came about from God being picky about his meal. But I'll believe it anyway.
That's bullshit, but I believe it.
At least Jesus gave us stands
@@ImmaLittlePip but he gave dio a stand too
I would be ok with this style of storytelling for like, the whole Bible.
Some one,pay Woolie to make an abridged bible audio book
As the Good Word predicted, the prophecy is fulfilled. The second coming of Woolie VS God.
Cain should have listened to Homer: "You don't win friends with salad!"
A lot of Bible literalists I know say Cain should've known and that when God killed an animal to clothes Adam and Eve that was an example. But if you're going to take the Bible literally and not assume anything, there is no passage that explains God told Cain and family what was an acceptable sacrifice. So I feel bad for Cain before he killed Abel- like that guy who died when he touched the Ark of the Covenant to try to keep it from falling when the oxen tripped.
He also makes no attempt to explain his moral system to people before flooding the world, and yet when he says to take 7 of every "clean" animal, Noah's response isn't "what the fuck is a clean animal, you won't tell us about that for several chapters". The Biblical writers had a bad case of presentism.
"Clipped from Castle Super Beast"
*W H I C H O N E T H O*
and they never answered
The title splashes are always amazing God damn
Just because he brought vegetables his descendant get his arm rip off by a buff guy. Wow
Woolie spreading the juggalo gospel saves you a couple of hours hahaha thank you sir.
YEESSSS! My second favorite series behind "Pop Off Report"
We're getting close to EVO time. Hopefully some more Pop Off Report will come from it.
JuJuJetastic You mean “Pop Off Report News”
@@noellesato311 wait a minute...P...O...R...
HA
Man I love PORN so much. Reggie especially.
Did Mystical Ninja go so off the rails that Woolie turned back to Bible stories?
He went back to the Church
So thats why vampires hate garlic?
Bless you woolie for this chat.
I love these woolie vs. God animations keep them coming
You think you can kill a God? What a grand and intoxicating innocence
YESSSS when Woolie went on this rant I was like THIS NEEDS ANIMATED
I was ready to come here and drop some obscure VtM references....
Boy, I was not expecting this video.....
Pat being so smol look so adorable, especially how he uses books as booster
I want the podcast to have a weekly Woolie vs God section, where Woolie teaches the clueless Pat (and the clueless audience) about the crazy stuff he learned from Sunday school.
I was praying that this would be animated as soon as the conversation started on the podcast. I love even more that you put in the part where Pat didn't even know what was going on in the beginning
Which episode was this?
I can't stress how glad I am to see another of these. They're so, so good.
And yay on that day God doth say:
♫ You Dont Win Friends With Salad ♫
♫ You Dont Win Friends With Salad ♫
Real kudos to Welty for navigating the voice/character dynamics in these stories
Words cannot describe how much I've missed this series
Indecisive_Jew (the animator) deserves more subscribers!
I really don't. I don't post anything haha
Thank you though ;)
You're welcome :>
Man, here I was thinking that was a reference to the energy drink Blackout God.
Guess the company behind it pulled out of the sponsorship deal.
I read a manga the other day where the opening animation of Woolie and God going in for Super punches literally happened with Adam the first human and Zeus of Olympus.
Shit was hype!
Sounds dope, sauce?
@@grubbu7073 Look up the manga Record of Ragnarok, it's basically one big tournament featuring the strongest humans in history vs Gods of myth.
The incredible shrinking Pat. He just gets smaller and smaller.
I miss the part where Woolie punches god with a giant, black rectangle
Sounds like Cain showed up to the tourney after a patch and didn't check SRK to see if his main is still viable.
The meta took a while to settle after Eden was patched out
Man, the story of SCP-073 and 076 are different than I remember.
So if you bring the sides, you’re an enemy of God? That’s some shit.
I really love how Jordan decides when someone needs full mouth animation and when they can just toss a still shot in there and the viewer knows what's going on.
These are amazing and I want a shit ton more of these, but I know animating and doing all this takes time.
I love these animation so much! They really add to these stories.
i will always love these. god bless you Welty
"Abel gave God some lamb chops while Cain gave him some Weetabix or some shit."
-SsethTzeentach
Legit thrilled as I love these shorts so much.
I just knew this was gonna be animated. Was looking forward to it the day the podcast came out!
"Cain, you killed your brother, so now I will curse you to wander the earth and never die. Also, here's some superpowers." -God "Punishing" Cain in the VTM universe
Never expecting these, but always appreciating it when it appears
Wait, I thought Cain was the one who brought the meat and Able the vegetables?
...THAT BLOOD LINES THE MASQUERADE’S REVIEW VIDEO LIED TO ME!
In the old testament yes. But in the new testament it was reversed because back then royals thought meat was for the rich and powerful and vegies were for the peasants.
God (Rimshot), YES! More Woolie VS God! FUCK, I love these so much!
These are some of my favorite videos, I love whenever father Woolie has a sermon
Man, I live for these videos!!!
I learned more from this video than actually going to church for 3 straight Sundays. Thank you Blessed Woolie.
Super delayed, but IIRC there are actually three theories about why the veggies were rejected:
1) Jewish customs at the time equated blood with sacrifice. Abel's offering was seen as superior because the blood of the lamb had heavier weight than veggies.
2) Abel's sacrifice is mentioned as being "first-born" and "fatted," while nothing is said of Cain's sacrifice, so it's possible Cain did really bad at taking care of his crops.
3) After the sacrifice, God talks to Cain asking why he's angry over what happened and basically implying that if Cain was truly trying to seek favor with God, it would have been accepted.
What I particularly love about these shorts is how it seems like a TV Show. Woolie is the host and Pat is like that child side character who's their assistant.
i absolutely love those little animations
Pat has never been smaller than when talking about grilled veggies
vampires exist because god dont want tomat on his burger.
i can respect a man who keeps his burger grass free, but thats a bit of a nuclear option dont you think?
I'm really happy we got another one of these.
I thoroughly enjoyed this! I wouldn't mind if more were to come :)
Oh man I've missed this series
You’ve finally brought it back to us
"In the Bible the two brothers made offerings to God.
Abel offered the Lord some lamb chops. Cain gave him some Weetabix or some shit.
Naturally, God liked Abel's offer a lot more. So Cain dis-Abel'd his brother by murdering him with a fucking rock."
-SsethTzeentach
They did a similar joke in the manga "Saint Young Men." Jesus and Buddha are heading off to a barbeque with their Yakuza friend, and Jesus worries about veggies being at the barbeque, because his dad really loves meat, and the last time God went to a barbeque with veggies on the grill, it lead to Cain murdering Abel with the rock.
There was also a bit later on where Abel tried to prove that Cain didn't actually murder him. The trial ended with Cain trying to murder Abel a second time, with the very same rock as before, which had been brought by Abel in as a form of evidence meant to prove Cain's innocence.
I'd forgot how good the intro for these is!
Woolie, the grilled vegetables weren't the problem. It only says his offering was born of the soil. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
... have you ever had grilled fruit?
@@adriancardona2172 pineapple is the only one I know that isn't complete dogshit
I love these videos
Well with. Win he just brought like just regular crops. They weren’t particularly good from what I remember. Abel on the other hand raised and specially bred his sheep and chose the healthiest and most beautiful lamb before god. Abel went far and beyond what god asked of him and Cain simply did what he was told and didn’t put as much comparable effort into his offering. That’s what I was taught in bible school before it turned into a shit show and my family left it.
Look, who’s the one holding the Bible, you or Father Woolie? That’s right, the good father. Now shut up and eat your vegetables before you start getting lashes.
Dalton McBleh
Right Brother Dalton you’re right I’ll be a good Christian man and blindly follow what father Chewie says. Because that’s what a good follower does.
Right?
Fattyfatty Jojo So...sheep eugenics is better than sub-par fiddleheads?
Nah, go back and read the verses, nothing in there at all about inferior produce. It really is just that god liked what Abel brought better and Cain got jelly.
AncelDeLambert ok then. I mean this was written in the equivalent of the. Bronze Age and animal sacrifice was a big part of many religions including Judaism which is what Christianity and Islam are branched off from. So in all honesty that cultural idea is what is probably reflected in the Bible. Eh IDK.
Really cool this is back!
This is up there as one of if not the best anime adaptations of the bible, please keep them coming Woolie.
0:36 Pat's stare is just magic
..."what the fuck you talking about"
Great work
I need so many more of these.
Now THERE’S the good old intro.
The "what the fuck are you talking about?" always gets me
Pat having to sit on books is by far my favorite part of this animation.
Shit... No wonder he created a Brotherhood. For the technology of peace and all that green rock bs.
Kids hate veggies is because they really are the closest to god
I wonder when Woolie will mention the first ever recorded zombie attack when Jesus died and all the corpses from the local graveyard came back to life
i'm trying to remember, wasn't it all the corpses of all the saints? so like, a thousand corpses randomly scattered across the desert?
@@Yal_Rathol IIRC it was the corpses from the nearby graveyard but I can't tell for 100%
Ha, thank god you brought this back once more. My bible meter was getting dangerously low and I needed some salvation.
I love these. thanks animators and woolie o and also I guess God
Now this brings me a smile
Love these videos
OH FUCK that explains why the stone masks were attached to what looked like roots.
It was a GIANT VEGETABLE all along!
Yeah! I've been waiting for this!
Dio’s head floating across the screen at the end killed me.
eat your veggies, god!
Real fuckin' solid, gotta say.
I don't know why, but I love Woolie talking about the Bible so much.
I've gotten a full stomach of food just by coming to a weekend grill party with mustard, ketchup, milk and coffee. Because nobody remembers to bring those things but everyone sure wants them when it's the time.
I dunno, I think the world is a better place for having vampires in it.
That's exactly what I'd expect out of someone from the mirror universe.
@@JackgarPrime Your agonizer, if you will. *holds out hand*
We've got plenty of vampiric organisms on our planet and thats something to be proud of.
Church ladies weep,
When they here Woolie speak.
They say they see God in him but he's in the streets
I love the rolling Dio head at the end
To quote Simpsons “you don’t make friends with salad”