If you are depressed and in need of someone please read this. I am here and willing to listen and help out through my personal experience and seeing others go through this to. I've listened to this song through some of the hardest times in my life, the lowest points, and I'm still here, still breathing, still living to help others through the struggles that I've gone through, and to help them through their own hard times in their own lives. One of my very best friends that I've ever had killed himself and I went through such a hard time with it, I'm alive and here to tell you that it does get better, it takes time and there are still bad days, but there is hope, there are terrible things that happen but life is worth living.
Depression is a horrendous illness. You find it hard to want to get out of bed. Alone tears are shed wake up for the day act as if everything's ok when in fact inside your just wasting away locked in a tombs we so happen to call homes Wishing to escape yet forced to see another day.
Yeah, exactly, my family always yells at each other, I always have had horrible self-esteem, but the kids at school destroyed what little self-esteem I have, I'm only holding on because I know if I took my life it would destroy my girlfriend, but more and more every day I hope to fall asleep and never wake up.
@@ConnorSentByCyberlif3 I felt the same as you at your age. Everything was horrible. I’m 28 now and my life is great. I would be lying if I said I don’t still deal with mental illness, but my life is astronomically better. I highly suggest getting help and getting on antidepressants. I wouldn’t be here today without them. I’m still on them after 11 years. You gotta do what you gotta do. I hope you’re doing okay.
borderline personality here with bad depression ptsd and extreme abandonment issues and still fighting as well. best wishes to all of those who are struggling to keep fighting
I have tried and failed 3 times to end my life over the years and for the first time in a long time I wake up in the morning and I am glad that I failed.
Hope you've continued holding on, even though this was 4 years ago, have a good day! You are loved! No matter how much rejection we go through we have to keep holding on.
Why didn't I see this and heard this song earlier. I listen to jamestown story for a while now and somehow skipped this one. While this is the song that really gets me. This song really gets the 'devil' from depression. I dealt with it, still do and I can really cry when I hear this. But I'm kinda in a denial phase right now. One day I will escape who I am right now and be who I wanna be/Who is was. Thanks for writing this heart felt song
I still remember listening to this song so many times in one night. Laying on my bed, and not being able to sleep what so ever. couldn't cry anymore during those times; although I never showed much expression. Just walked my college campus screaming inside my head, praying that someone would see the pain I had. I was better off being independent anyways.
i like this song it helps a little bit with everything i have been through ive seen more than most people should never knew my dad and my mom left me without a word when i was 16 and no family met a girl who crushed me was with her for 6 years and she got bored and turned everyone against me and got me jumped what a great break up!! so now i live my life alone day by day so like i said it helps
Said to hear that, but like Kevyn said you'll get through it. And it's good to take things day by day then, not think to far ahead and keep in mind what makes you happy though it can be hard to find sometimes. But you will make it out of the mess again.
Rough life here to man, all I can tell you is tomorrow always holds a chance for a better something. Don't follow the feelings, thoughts and emotions involved with these situations. Set goals, and go for those! That's all I got, I survived my attempt. I'm still broken, but you as a person decide what your escape is! Don't dwell on it, even though it is way easier for me to say, than for me to do.
I recently heard a native American Indian elder speak and I'm sure he knows much more than any of us do. He's old and Lord knows they have endured pain of the worst kind. think I'm one eighth Sioux so maybe it's just me who was moved by his words but jus.t in case it may help anybody even a tiny bit...he said don't ever fear death and don't ever show it when you are ready to give up because there are younger ones than you watching you and if you can't do anything else with your life you have to be the example to them so that they know everything is ok andaybe they won't fall apart if they never seen anybody else leasve with anything less than dignity and strength. Be too proud to go out like that because you can at least keep someone else from fearing death and help them to one day have stength to endure just like you did. If that makes any sense? Be sad all you want to but don't show it because it can be contagious. Leave them with strenth. For their sake if you can't do it for your own and that's a wonderful gift you have given.
I just saw it on facebook and then here i am Lyrics I can't sleep, mind's racing violently Starting to wonder if I should accept defeat I tried my best, I've given this all I can But it wasn't enough, now giving up is all I've got left Truth be told, been a mess awhile A broken soul is all that I know I've held on cause I'm in denial That I can still be who I was and escape who I am I can't sleep, I'm buried beneath my sheets Tired of rejection, it's taken the best of me I close my eyes and picture what I would write for a reason if I just stopped breathing tonight Truth be told, been a mess forever Wish I could say that I'm getting better I held on till I wrote this letter I'll never be who I was and escape who I am Truth be told, wish that I'd stop shaking I'll make this call hoping someone saves me I'll hold on till the darkness takes me Cause I can still be who I was and escape who I am If I could just find who I was I'd escape who I am
Been following this band for quite some time now. It's helped me to keep fighting this battle. Thank you, Jamestown Story, for writing such meaningful songs.
Life is amazing for me I have great friends Things are running smoothly But yet my mind runs violently turning the smallest situation in to the largest It ruins the best of moments And I isolate myself
I have an amazing life now at 28. A husband, a beautiful 2 year old, and a beautiful house. I still struggle with my demons every single day. Keep on fighting.
Just want to say thank you for writing great music. I had a very tough time recently with my mental health. I came close to ending my life. Your music was one of the things that kept me going! 💖💖💖
Well shoot guys. I've been slipping down into a depression for sometime now and you guys just filled my eyes with tears and put a smile on my face. I love you guys. Thanks for the music. Thanks for saving me.
I can't sleep, mind's racing violently Starting to wonder if I should accept defeat I tried my best, I've given this all I can But it wasn't enough, now giving up is all I've got left Truth be told, been a mess awhile A broken soul is all that I know I've held on cause I'm in denial That I can still be who I was and escape who I am I can't sleep, I'm buried beneath my sheets Tired of rejection, it's taken the best of me I close my eyes and picture what I would write for a reason if I just stopped breathing tonight Truth be told, been a mess forever Wish I could say that I'm getting better I held on till I wrote this letter I'll never be who I was and escape who I am Truth be told, wish that I'd stop shaking I'll make this call hoping someone saves me I'll hold on till the darkness takes me Cause I can still be who I was and escape who I am If I could just find who I was I'd escape who I am
Jonathan Orange two years later I see your post and I pray you are still here bud. I know the feelings and I swear I'll be here if you still are I wanna help cuz I go thru the same shit let's band together brother! Maybe we can help each other?
Amazing work Dane once again. Your songs are saving more lifes than you think, because it gives people a way out and an escape. Having something to relate to especially regarding this, really makes you look at the life you have and value it no matter what. Thank you for everything Jamestown Story!!
You guys are amazing, this song sent chills down my spine bcuz its so real. You guys speak truth and I can relate soo much. I discovered you guys by accident, but I'm glad I did. Keep up the great work!
This song is helping me through my best friends suicide. I'm finally getting help this year, because without her, I don't want to exist anymore and have contemplated suicide myself. But instead of acting on it, like she did, I'm asking my husband for help. I do not want another person to feel how I am feeling currently. been struggling with severe depression and possible bipolar disorder my entire childhood through now. I've attempted suicide before and have dealt with self harm for years. i haven't let myself fully grieve for my best friend, because I know it will kill me. 6 months ago, I lost my foster mom, who I was extremely close to, as well, and by shrugging it out, i've managed to survive, but now with my best friend gone, I can't handle it.
So when I write music I am told I write meaningful stuff like them and saywecanfly I've been searching so long for my sound and I always wanted a faces sound but I don't have the voice for it I really think I am meant for music like this. This band is fucking amazing
I wish one day these psychological seizure would stop and let be my self one day and I wish this depression and anxiety would pass at some point that what bring them on 😞
One day I will be who I was and escape who I am.. x3 Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sevier Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Let's rip off these labels
shit my hearts melts cause in my heart i am the one who's in the music video thank you sir i fell like i wnt to suicide but many things come in my mind i salute you for this wonderfull song sir
Hey people!... I just read some comments. I am going through the same conditions. I am not able to help myself but I'll be glad if i am able fo help sombody else. If you need someone to talk i am just a text away. I am on google+ .text me there i'll try to help . :)
In general, the final act of a person committing suicide is as much of a choice as say... You getting hungry & eating. You can choose not to eat & they can choose to keep living but it gets pretty painful. This is an example of the mindset of a suicidal person: (Can't say all but it's at least one experience.) Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die. But which is faster? Which means less pain? With the kind of thinking that leads to suicide it's the apple every time. It doesn't matter at that point that they still have days left where they could be saved, it hadn't happened yet so why think it would? It's a chance to ease the pain they've endured for so long & they take it. Suicide is a symptom of a disease just like cancer is & honestly I'd rather have cancer. No one blames the patient for needing treatment or dying.
+Ray Gun "Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die." Without intending any personal offense to you, this analogy is broken. Of what will the otherwise healthy person wanting to commit suicide necessarily die if they don't kill themselves? Nothing. They won't necessarily die. To make it seem like their only choice is between two ways to die is a cop-out. There's a third option. *Fix it.* Don't just languish. Don't try and get someone else (a lover, a religious character, etc) to fix it for you. Those are just crutches that don't allow for real healing. They're just occupying space in the void that's supposed to be filled with love that you give yourself. So fix it yourself. That is the only lasting and harmonious solution, and the real answer is inside you and only you. The problem of a suicidal person is that they feel disempowered. They don't think they have the ability to solve their problem in life. The answer to the feeling of powerlessness is not giving-up. It's discovering your power, and that starts with the power of choice. And before anyone even starts-in trying to tell me how wrong I am and how I don't know what it is because I've never been there, yes I do and yes I have. You are hearing from a former victim of suicidality right this instant. I believed I wanted death for years of my life, but I chose to keep living and eventually I realized I didn't want death, I just wanted healing that I didn't believe was available to me. I wasn't "starving" for anything I couldn't give myself. So I chose, I lived and I healed, and so can anyone else. There's nothing that makes me special or different from anyone else in terms of that choice. The free will that I have is everyone else's too.
Thank you for not intending offense, I'm not intending it either. The analogy does hold up, the only food available is the poison apple and the person would starve to death. I was trying to express how at that point suicide is only a choice (to the suicidal person) insofar as the person in the analogy has a choice: how much pain they endure before they die. It's not about the fact they'll die otherwise, it's that it feels awful for whatever amount of time before they die. Perhaps a trapped animal gnawing off it's own leg to be free might have been a better analogy, it's instinctive to do whatever you can to make the pain stop, not a purposeful choice. I'm not saying no one does make the choice purposefully, some probably do, but mental illness, like depression, make it very easy to behave instinctively. I'm suicidal right now and depressed. I'm getting help but I can't express how difficult it is. You wanted healing, but I literally don't want anything anymore. Everything feels pointless and I'm only alive now to prevent hurting the people that love me. I don't choose to feel this way, in fact I've actively been trying to choose not to and have been doing so for the past almost-decade. I've literally been depressed and suicidal for half of my life. I'm extremely optimist but it's feeling a little ridiculous to keep hoping I can make anything better. It's not that I want to die either, I just have no fear of death and no will to live. I'd prefer just having never existed because even if I don't die by my own hand my death would still probably cause others' pain. I'm very glad you were able to heal and live. It's encouraging. I just wish I knew what to do when "fix it" doesn't work. I can't remember what "fixed" might even be, I was 10 when I first attempted because I thought the world would be better off without me. I didn't even know exactly what I was doing, just barely what death meant and how to use a knife. The first part hasn't really changed but now I know wayy too many ways a human can die and literally don't feel safe alone with myself sometimes. When I get low it's very hard to think about anything other than the pain and how to stop it. The most "choice" I get then is to tell myself I need to wait until "the perfect circumstances" which is specifically vague and unattainable. It only works because my worst fear is failure, since all I understand at that point is pain and fear. I also discovered that that worked accidentally and not at all to use it to keep myself alive. At some point I might be able to be happy it did/does. For now I don't live alone and I don't keep anything dangerous easy to get to.
If you are depressed and in need of someone please read this.
I am here and willing to listen and help out through my personal experience and seeing others go through this to.
I've listened to this song through some of the hardest times in my life, the lowest points, and I'm still here, still breathing, still living to help others through the struggles that I've gone through, and to help them through their own hard times in their own lives. One of my very best friends that I've ever had killed himself and I went through such a hard time with it, I'm alive and here to tell you that it does get better, it takes time and there are still bad days, but there is hope, there are terrible things that happen but life is worth living.
This song is very meaningful to me.. I love those artists who write meaningful lyrics.
Depression is a horrendous illness. You find it hard to want to get out of bed. Alone tears are shed wake up for the day act as if everything's ok when in fact inside your just wasting away locked in a tombs we so happen to call homes Wishing to escape yet forced to see another day.
Yeah, exactly, my family always yells at each other, I always have had horrible self-esteem, but the kids at school destroyed what little self-esteem I have, I'm only holding on because I know if I took my life it would destroy my girlfriend, but more and more every day I hope to fall asleep and never wake up.
@@ConnorSentByCyberlif3 I felt the same as you at your age. Everything was horrible. I’m 28 now and my life is great. I would be lying if I said I don’t still deal with mental illness, but my life is astronomically better. I highly suggest getting help and getting on antidepressants. I wouldn’t be here today without them. I’m still on them after 11 years. You gotta do what you gotta do. I hope you’re doing okay.
Feel this it is the reason y im thinking of moving out be on my own so i can think and restart my system before i totally shutdown
I cry everytime I listen to this song...
borderline personality here with bad depression ptsd and extreme abandonment issues and still fighting as well. best wishes to all of those who are struggling to keep fighting
I have tried and failed 3 times to end my life over the years and for the first time in a long time I wake up in the morning and I am glad that I failed.
It always gets better. It’s tough to wait it out, I know. I hope you’re still doing better. :)
4 years later and I’m still a train wreck, this song speaks a lot.
thank you very much for the support :)
Nunca me identifiquei tanto com uma música como essa. Desde que eu ouvi pela primeira vez se tornou a minha favorita.
51 and still rejected but still here fighting to be
Hope you've continued holding on, even though this was 4 years ago, have a good day! You are loved! No matter how much rejection we go through we have to keep holding on.
Why didn't I see this and heard this song earlier. I listen to jamestown story for a while now and somehow skipped this one. While this is the song that really gets me. This song really gets the 'devil' from depression. I dealt with it, still do and I can really cry when I hear this. But I'm kinda in a denial phase right now. One day I will escape who I am right now and be who I wanna be/Who is was. Thanks for writing this heart felt song
I still remember listening to this song so many times in one night. Laying on my bed, and not being able to sleep what so ever. couldn't cry anymore during those times; although I never showed much expression. Just walked my college campus screaming inside my head, praying that someone would see the pain I had. I was better off being independent anyways.
i like this song it helps a little bit with everything i have been through ive seen more than most people should never knew my dad and my mom left me without a word when i was 16 and no family met a girl who crushed me was with her for 6 years and she got bored and turned everyone against me and got me jumped what a great break up!! so now i live my life alone day by day so like i said it helps
Said to hear that, but like Kevyn said you'll get through it. And it's good to take things day by day then, not think to far ahead and keep in mind what makes you happy though it can be hard to find sometimes. But you will make it out of the mess again.
Rough life here to man, all I can tell you is tomorrow always holds a chance for a better something. Don't follow the feelings, thoughts and emotions involved with these situations. Set goals, and go for those! That's all I got, I survived my attempt. I'm still broken, but you as a person decide what your escape is! Don't dwell on it, even though it is way easier for me to say, than for me to do.
I recently heard a native American Indian elder speak and I'm sure he knows much more than any of us do. He's old and Lord knows they have endured pain of the worst kind. think I'm one eighth Sioux so maybe it's just me who was moved by his words but jus.t in case it may help anybody even a tiny bit...he said don't ever fear death and don't ever show it when you are ready to give up because there are younger ones than you watching you and if you can't do anything else with your life you have to be the example to them so that they know everything is ok andaybe they won't fall apart if they never seen anybody else leasve with anything less than dignity and strength. Be too proud to go out like that because you can at least keep someone else from fearing death and help them to one day have stength to endure just like you did. If that makes any sense? Be sad all you want to but don't show it because it can be contagious. Leave them with strenth. For their sake if you can't do it for your own and that's a wonderful gift you have given.
I just saw it on facebook and then here i am
Lyrics
I can't sleep, mind's racing violently
Starting to wonder if I should accept defeat
I tried my best, I've given this all I can
But it wasn't enough, now giving up is all I've got left
Truth be told, been a mess awhile
A broken soul is all that I know
I've held on cause I'm in denial
That I can still be who I was and escape who I am
I can't sleep, I'm buried beneath my sheets
Tired of rejection, it's taken the best of me
I close my eyes and picture what I would write for a reason if I just stopped breathing tonight
Truth be told, been a mess forever
Wish I could say that I'm getting better
I held on till I wrote this letter
I'll never be who I was and escape who I am
Truth be told, wish that I'd stop shaking
I'll make this call hoping someone saves me
I'll hold on till the darkness takes me
Cause I can still be who I was and escape who I am
If I could just find who I was I'd escape who I am
❤
Been following this band for quite some time now. It's helped me to keep fighting this battle. Thank you, Jamestown Story, for writing such meaningful songs.
Thanks Alex!!
That ist true of my live,the same story,its is sad who someone do you love broken everthing in your live and you,accepet only yourself.
I have been dealing with a lot of depression I have been suicidal and feeling like I want to harm myself but am trying to stay strong 💪
Stay strong everyone!
Love the positive energy!
Thank you so much for making this song. Sometimes these songs are the only thing keeping me here. So it really helps, keep up the great lyrics!!!!!
Life is amazing for me
I have great friends
Things are running smoothly
But yet my mind runs violently turning the smallest situation in to the largest
It ruins the best of moments
And I isolate myself
I have an amazing life now at 28. A husband, a beautiful 2 year old, and a beautiful house. I still struggle with my demons every single day. Keep on fighting.
Struggling really hard lately; this song is making the struggle just the tiniest bit easier.
Keep your head up Danny!
We all mess things up. You're always enough(: I feel that way sometimes too, but obviously we aren't the only ones!!
Comforting mantra.
Sad song but sounds great. Glad you put the links at the end.
i dont have depression but my life just seams so unreal to me like i am watching it all play off inside of my head without any controle over it
Just want to say thank you for writing great music. I had a very tough time recently with my mental health. I came close to ending my life. Your music was one of the things that kept me going! 💖💖💖
thank you so much for the support :)
my family live in jamestawn the Pereira fam i lov my fam...
Been following you guys for a few years, and this one still hits hard to home.
Thank you so much amigo!
This is amazing! Seriously.
You make me cry.
I LOVE IT
Essa é uma das melhores músicas na minha opinião, me identifico demais com a letra.
my heart ❤ is melting
This song gets me every time. Im crying
thank you!
brilliant
Well shoot guys. I've been slipping down into a depression for sometime now and you guys just filled my eyes with tears and put a smile on my face. I love you guys. Thanks for the music. Thanks for saving me.
Great job guys. Really.
Wrong song I was looking for still liked it
I Still Love This Song!!!
This is beautiful. It is difficult to even describe it properly.
Dapet lagu ini dari seseorang yang bernama mas Ieben. Terima kasih mas...
Great song! debuted in my personal chart on September 22nd, 2013 edition :)
I can't sleep, mind's racing violently
Starting to wonder if I should accept defeat
I tried my best, I've given this all I can
But it wasn't enough, now giving up is all I've got left
Truth be told, been a mess awhile
A broken soul is all that I know
I've held on cause I'm in denial
That I can still be who I was and escape who I am
I can't sleep, I'm buried beneath my sheets
Tired of rejection, it's taken the best of me
I close my eyes and picture what I would write for a reason if I just stopped breathing tonight
Truth be told, been a mess forever
Wish I could say that I'm getting better
I held on till I wrote this letter
I'll never be who I was and escape who I am
Truth be told, wish that I'd stop shaking
I'll make this call hoping someone saves me
I'll hold on till the darkness takes me
Cause I can still be who I was and escape who I am
If I could just find who I was I'd escape who I am
I cried during the whole video. This is the most beautiful song ever made. You're such an inspiration ..
I can't even explain... This is amazing
I love it so much.
the fact that i can relate to this song completely makes me feel so selfish because my life could actually be way worse
Exact same
I love it.
Just amazing
This song is so powerful :(
I am fighting self harm but nobody listen to me. So I'm doing it all on my own and it is becoming very unbearable
Jonathan Orange two years later I see your post and I pray you are still here bud. I know the feelings and I swear I'll be here if you still are I wanna help cuz I go thru the same shit let's band together brother! Maybe we can help each other?
This song.. So beautiful. I admit it helps me a lot to listen to this. Thank you
I love it so much. This song is explaining everything in my mind. Love it
very touching :o
Amazing
I'm feeling that way Right now 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🌠🌟⭐😢😭😨
Hope you feel better pal - praying for you!
some times I feel like I'm not enough......like once i mess up something I can't be put back together..
This is beautiful!
very emotive video! good job Dane
I love this so so much. Thank you for this song and video. I love it
great job!
Amazing work Dane once again. Your songs are saving more lifes than you think, because it gives people a way out and an escape. Having something to relate to especially regarding this, really makes you look at the life you have and value it no matter what. Thank you for everything Jamestown Story!!
Love this!!!
Just got done fighting cancer, adhd, bi-polar and LGBT and surviving!!!
+Kevin Bakken you're an inspiration kevin! keep on fighting- you've got my support
and mine :)
좋다
good enough
You guys are amazing, this song sent chills down my spine bcuz its so real. You guys speak truth and I can relate soo much. I discovered you guys by accident, but I'm glad I did. Keep up the great work!
Loved ♥
Wow. You are my songwriting inspiration
Love you guys!!!!! from Ashley's G-Ma
This song is helping me through my best friends suicide. I'm finally getting help this year, because without her, I don't want to exist anymore and have contemplated suicide myself. But instead of acting on it, like she did, I'm asking my husband for help. I do not want another person to feel how I am feeling currently. been struggling with severe depression and possible bipolar disorder my entire childhood through now. I've attempted suicide before and have dealt with self harm for years. i haven't let myself fully grieve for my best friend, because I know it will kill me. 6 months ago, I lost my foster mom, who I was extremely close to, as well, and by shrugging it out, i've managed to survive, but now with my best friend gone, I can't handle it.
Wish I had the courage to check out. My son is who I'm still willing to suffer for, indeed hoping someone saves me.
I feel this so hard since I've recently developed schizophrenia...
thank you for the support jane
So when I write music I am told I write meaningful stuff like them and saywecanfly I've been searching so long for my sound and I always wanted a faces sound but I don't have the voice for it I really think I am meant for music like this. This band is fucking amazing
Thank you!
i like it a lot!!!^^
make an lyric version if possible thanks :). good job
working on it. thanks for listening!!
:). where are you from.
I wish one day these psychological seizure would stop and let be my self one day and I wish this depression and anxiety would pass at some point that what bring them on 😞
under rated song, but it like it
thank you!!
One day I will be who I was and escape who I am..
x3 Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sevier Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Let's rip off these labels
Dyslexia
shit my hearts melts cause in my heart i am the one who's in the music video thank you sir i fell like i wnt to suicide but many things come in my mind i salute you for this wonderfull song sir
thanks for listening :)
***** as a matter of fact I myself learned to play this one. I love it. I learned a few of your songs.
the only reason i am still here is because of 2 people my sister and my dad. if it wasnt for them i wouldve ended it years and years ago
If it wasn't for my girlfriend, I would have ended it all quite a while ago, she stopped me from ending it all...
2018 ❤❤
@@thejamestownstory I just came back again, i didn't notice that you reply on my comment!
Anyways i still love this song!
I'm still fighting.
Keep on fighting!
"Rhythm of Adrian" from Facebook brought me here
how did your comment get flagged as spam?
OK, whose cutting the onions!?
Who i am :'(
Someone please help me?
I hope to god your ok. Im sorry noone noticed this.
i becoming better now
Good!!!
That's so good!
Hey people!...
I just read some comments.
I am going through the same conditions.
I am not able to help myself but I'll be glad if i am able fo help sombody else.
If you need someone to talk i am just a text away. I am on google+ .text me there i'll try to help . :)
alrighty who's the gutty one to thumbs down this video?
A Jamaican thought "Dislike" was "Dis I Like". :P
I know this is about suicide but holy hell does it speak to victims of sexual assault.
Omg, I never thought about it like that, but it fits so well! I only ever thought of it relating to suicide
Thank you for the support Rachel
Owl city?
right?
and this is not top 40s
Suicide is a choice however. Unlike say cancer, etc.
In general, the final act of a person committing suicide is as much of a choice as say... You getting hungry & eating. You can choose not to eat & they can choose to keep living but it gets pretty painful.
This is an example of the mindset of a suicidal person: (Can't say all but it's at least one experience.) Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die. But which is faster? Which means less pain? With the kind of thinking that leads to suicide it's the apple every time. It doesn't matter at that point that they still have days left where they could be saved, it hadn't happened yet so why think it would? It's a chance to ease the pain they've endured for so long & they take it.
Suicide is a symptom of a disease just like cancer is & honestly I'd rather have cancer. No one blames the patient for needing treatment or dying.
+Ray Gun "Imagine a person starving, they haven't eaten in so long that they're near death but still have days of agony before that happens. Suicide is a poisoned apple. They eat it they die, they don't they still die."
Without intending any personal offense to you, this analogy is broken. Of what will the otherwise healthy person wanting to commit suicide necessarily die if they don't kill themselves? Nothing. They won't necessarily die. To make it seem like their only choice is between two ways to die is a cop-out. There's a third option. *Fix it.* Don't just languish. Don't try and get someone else (a lover, a religious character, etc) to fix it for you. Those are just crutches that don't allow for real healing. They're just occupying space in the void that's supposed to be filled with love that you give yourself. So fix it yourself. That is the only lasting and harmonious solution, and the real answer is inside you and only you. The problem of a suicidal person is that they feel disempowered. They don't think they have the ability to solve their problem in life. The answer to the feeling of powerlessness is not giving-up. It's discovering your power, and that starts with the power of choice.
And before anyone even starts-in trying to tell me how wrong I am and how I don't know what it is because I've never been there, yes I do and yes I have. You are hearing from a former victim of suicidality right this instant. I believed I wanted death for years of my life, but I chose to keep living and eventually I realized I didn't want death, I just wanted healing that I didn't believe was available to me. I wasn't "starving" for anything I couldn't give myself. So I chose, I lived and I healed, and so can anyone else. There's nothing that makes me special or different from anyone else in terms of that choice. The free will that I have is everyone else's too.
Thank you for not intending offense, I'm not intending it either.
The analogy does hold up, the only food available is the poison apple and the person would starve to death. I was trying to express how at that point suicide is only a choice (to the suicidal person) insofar as the person in the analogy has a choice: how much pain they endure before they die. It's not about the fact they'll die otherwise, it's that it feels awful for whatever amount of time before they die. Perhaps a trapped animal gnawing off it's own leg to be free might have been a better analogy, it's instinctive to do whatever you can to make the pain stop, not a purposeful choice. I'm not saying no one does make the choice purposefully, some probably do, but mental illness, like depression, make it very easy to behave instinctively.
I'm suicidal right now and depressed. I'm getting help but I can't express how difficult it is. You wanted healing, but I literally don't want anything anymore. Everything feels pointless and I'm only alive now to prevent hurting the people that love me. I don't choose to feel this way, in fact I've actively been trying to choose not to and have been doing so for the past almost-decade. I've literally been depressed and suicidal for half of my life. I'm extremely optimist but it's feeling a little ridiculous to keep hoping I can make anything better. It's not that I want to die either, I just have no fear of death and no will to live. I'd prefer just having never existed because even if I don't die by my own hand my death would still probably cause others' pain.
I'm very glad you were able to heal and live. It's encouraging. I just wish I knew what to do when "fix it" doesn't work. I can't remember what "fixed" might even be, I was 10 when I first attempted because I thought the world would be better off without me. I didn't even know exactly what I was doing, just barely what death meant and how to use a knife. The first part hasn't really changed but now I know wayy too many ways a human can die and literally don't feel safe alone with myself sometimes. When I get low it's very hard to think about anything other than the pain and how to stop it. The most "choice" I get then is to tell myself I need to wait until "the perfect circumstances" which is specifically vague and unattainable. It only works because my worst fear is failure, since all I understand at that point is pain and fear. I also discovered that that worked accidentally and not at all to use it to keep myself alive. At some point I might be able to be happy it did/does. For now I don't live alone and I don't keep anything dangerous easy to get to.
Haha don't really really, haha that's the internet for you I guess :L
Someone please help me?
With?