When the student said she just wanted to hear the words “you’re doing great” I teared up.. though I don’t live in Asia I do have an asian mother. I’ve heard some of these thing before as well and sometimes they did hurt me.. but I learned to ignore them and live my own life for the most part. Im still stressed every day.. and I just want to hear that I’m appreciated and doing great. I know that this path isn’t for me but in a few months I am gonna get that diploma.. if I succeed in finishing off my delayed work and hand in my next assignments..
I disagree you worked hard for the diploma of your choosing I'm black and have heard hurt things as well from family. You deserve to what you want in your life as long as you're happy and not hurting yourself or anybody else and I believe your doing great even though I don't know you. Have a great day and congratulations on whatever degree you have 😀🥰🤗
Hyeni, I couldn't agree more," you will find something to do". I turned down a scholarship offer because I didn't want to go to a University, I wanted to be like my grandfather. By doing this I had a four year head start on my peers and I had a successful business and am now retired. Parents aren't always right or say the right things, they're not perfect, and their kids won't always make an A+. Heejae had a couple of very good points also. Here in the US approximately 68% of students actually graduate, 29% work in a different field than their diploma and 16% of grads are unemployed, I assume there were no jobs for someone with a degree in under water basket weaving. One of our major Universities now has a class in How to do nothing. I kid you not. Always remember successful people will do what the unsuccessful won't do. This was a well thought out video and needs to be watched by high school students.
I need Hyeni’s positivity and Saebom’s confidence. Compare peoples with other is one of the worst. Everyone have different skills and difficulties. That’s hurt to hear that other peoples did better than you when you tried your best. Especially when parents say « if it was me, I’ll succeed better and faster than you » that’s too much. Times have changed and we are all different. These differences make unique peoples.
I love the POV of Heejae, agree with her that you should listen and choose wisely. I do believe that parents also say that because of their experiences, though ofc sometimes it is not the same since the world is continously evolving, but the thing is there is always a wisdom in every generation, and that is what you need to learn, on how to filter out and pick up the ones applicable on your life
this is why I talked with my father while crying when I was a teenager we had such a big crying party hhhhhhhh it was the first time I saw my dad cry and said I thought I would encourage you to stuff by saying and all that and while crying I told him that that method isn't for me I like compliments and I hope you can find the right method for my other siblings since then I started to help my parents out to know what my siblings like and dislike I told my parents everything we became friends more than just parents. being a teenager you don't really think about your parents' perspective I was their first child they're new to parenting too so it's okay not to know how to encourage your kid you just use what your parents used on you but the problem is you don't know if it's the right method to use with your kid. to all teenagers out there I hope you get the time to talk to your parents about your feelings more then just saying no or I don't want to saying your feelings out loud until your parents understand what kind of a person you are and what's your emotions after hearing what they say to you
This video was soo healing knowing that you are not alone who is going through all this they forgot that toxic environment would never let there children pursue anything in life
I've heard a lot of these even from people not related to me . Parents, we can often times say it's just their generational thinking, worry about how you will support yoursef in the future, or just want control over you. When other people do it, I think they are just too nosy and don't have enough to keep them busy. IMO, don't always look or wait for compliments from others . You could be waiting until the end of time. Don't expect to agree with everyone or that everyone should agree with you. You could be very disappointed and have lots of disagreements. It's okay to disagree, just be respectful. That is more for your peace of mind. Find and have your dreams and goals, adjusting where it makes sense for you. Life happens in ways we cannot always predict. You will have failures, but instead look at them as learning tools for what you don't want and need in your life. You can and will rise above everything life puts in your way, but you have to keep looking and moving toward your dreams/goals. Figure out a way to make a living wage while working towards your goals, so you are not dependent on others for your livelihood. That way you won't be pressured to live and do as others want for you. The sooner you become financially, emotionally and physically independent, you give yourself permission to live as you want. It will be a struggle for a while, but you will gain so much valuable life experience overcomming obstacles. You will be proud of yourself. The truth is, your opinion is the one that matters most. Period! Bravo, now you go do you!!
I am going through my teenage phase ,,,, the video really hit hard for me . Specially when i am always hearing this hurtful questions . I always thought of giving up. But hearing the advices and answers of whom went through the same time ,, i realised I am not alone. All good things will come so i will go through this time strongly ❤thank you awesome world 🌎 ❤
I remember being told I wish I never gave birth to you by my biological mother. It's just part of the reason that I don't have a relationship with her now and I'm so thankful👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾
I’m an adult and people still make comments about my life as if it matters to them. I’m bilingual ( speak, Spanish and English) and those who I translate at work and even family members that I’m always translating for, make comments about “why if I’m bilingual I don’t work somewhere else”… I study for what I work for I’m not making that much money but I truly enjoy my job. I get to help people ( even those who criticize me) and I’m also responsible of making sure people follow rules. It hurts me when they ask me those type of questions.
I have friends that tell me to do a course to get an English tittle because I self learned most of what I know, though I suck at pronunciation outside songs. I DON'T WANT TO! I learn languages because I feel like it, at my own pace, I detest structured learning, it becomes an obligation and is tiring and gets boring.
I think some of them are probably from stressed parents talking out of anger, but some might be because they are concerned for their children too about how they will support their selves after the parent is no longer there to support them. Still hurtful though
They could be concerned questions only if asked with the right words and the right time. In this context they are just belittling and hurtful. And most of the time it's just toxic parenting stemming from generational culture (mostly Asian Parents).
Plz tell me that I wasnt the only one crying by watching this video 🤧😢😭...I have heard some of those things when i was a student and not so long time ago and I intsantly had a flashback and I got all sentimental..mostly from my mom and grandma while living with them...things like "Why dont u dress up like that girl" , "Why dont u lose some weight" , "Dont eat too much" , "What makes you feel so stressed,you dont have things to worry about"...I have tried many times in the past to let them know these words dont do me any good and just make me sad..and they say you cant take a joke or like ur overreacting..and it just breaks my heart cause i cant just turn around and ignore those words..hence why i dont visit as much/call often cause i want to avoid hearing comments like that...I have very low self confidence and since I can relate , when a kid hears these stuff from their family I know for a fact that it lowers their image of worth...So thank you for acknowledging this issue cause IT IS an issue) and passing a message..Dear parents plz dont hurt your kids like that cause without knowing you can cause depression on your kids..Learn that its not only them that should respect you but YOU should also RESPECT THEM..!!!! If you happen to say something mean to them and later when you think about it , go and apologize to them for what you said and give them a hug..cause meybe in the long future they will distance themselves from you...💜
When i was 10, my parents died. Since then, my aunt took care of me. But she has hurtfull words everyday. The one that i remember the most was when she said : Go, follow your parents. No wonder they choose to die if they have kids like you. That was hurt as hell. And im not like troblemaker kids. I always become one of the top student, i dont do extraculiculer bcs they cant and wont afford it. I dont go to vacation bcs they said it just waste of money. I don't even asked for pocket money when they don't give me... Everytime there was Olimpiade, my teachers always ask me to join but i can't. Bcs i can't even afford it. That time, this kind of question really makes me want to die. But i still have one little sister. It would be harder if i die for her. Rn, this kind question don't bother me again. It make me so numb. Some of my friends even said i don't have feeling anymore..
Hey there. I hope you can get out as soon as you are able to become financially independent. But one thing I want to say is: please do research about all the financial information about your parents like insurance, money, will, etc. once you get out. Make sure to do it quietly with the help of a good lawyer. Do not tell anyone, especially your aunt or other relatives. I have a suspicion your aunt might have dipped her hands into what your parents left for you and your sister. If it turns out to be so, report it to the authorities. Remember: tell no one. If you do, they'll start erasing evidence. And it might be even difficult for you to gather all the information. Hope this helps.
I've herd that Asian parents say hurtful things to there children alot. Putting them down and comparing them to another child or someone else child that they know . That they don't say positive things to there children or they are not understanding. I dont know if being that way is part of there culture but it sounds very sad . 😢
This is true for my parents and I think majority of Asian parents. I was once dragged from my classroom to gate of the school because I had C on most my subjects. everyone saw me parents, teachers and students it was a shameful experience. After that I got A till I graduated because I was so scared for it to happen again
Not to brag, but i think I'm good at academics. But just last month i realized no matter what I do, how good grades i get or no matter how much i give to do something I'll always be an insignificant person. Although i was not told these things but i was always made to feel that I'm not doing enough,I'm still lacking and my anxiety doesn't help me... so yeah i do want someone to tell me I'm doing great,I'm doing enough and i want a big tight hug🙃
If their kid aren’t academically smart as the other kids, then maybe it is the parents fault. If a parent failed to sort out their financial problems, what makes you think you deserve to start a family? You’re basically setting your child up for failure. And if your kid turns out to be academically stupid, who do you blame? The kid? I feel sorry for the people out there that grew up in this environment. It’s not your fault. You’ve been set up for failure.
I feel like parents who say that the money they spent on their kids is a waste of money just followed the cultural norm but never really got to spend their money on themselves
asians: you need to study to become lawyer me being reasonable: why cant you just let them live their own life tho? asians: yeah but money and shit me not being reasonable: fuck money. Being happy for themselves is what makes difference. Say no for submission and yes for free will!!! for reference i had chinese girlfriend for 3 years
Are they though? You don’t believe that some parent set their kid up for failure? Do you think that parents have every right to complain to their child if they aren’t academically smart like the other kids? Do you think it’s fair?
@@alohatigers1199 Agree with you. My parents basically stalked me while I was in University, I had to drop out because of that nonsense. I had to quit my job too because my mom send people outside my workplace to keep an eye on me. I worked in corporate, and it effected my reputation. I ended up becoming very sick, and they kicked me out of the house. Now I can barely do anything on my own. So yes, there are parents who set up their kids for failures because they themselves are freaking miserable.
When the student said she just wanted to hear the words “you’re doing great” I teared up.. though I don’t live in Asia I do have an asian mother. I’ve heard some of these thing before as well and sometimes they did hurt me.. but I learned to ignore them and live my own life for the most part. Im still stressed every day.. and I just want to hear that I’m appreciated and doing great. I know that this path isn’t for me but in a few months I am gonna get that diploma.. if I succeed in finishing off my delayed work and hand in my next assignments..
Ur doing good keep going FIGHTING
I disagree you worked hard for the diploma of your choosing I'm black and have heard hurt things as well from family. You deserve to what you want in your life as long as you're happy and not hurting yourself or anybody else and I believe your doing great even though I don't know you. Have a great day and congratulations on whatever degree you have 😀🥰🤗
i love this new kinda content also heejae and hyeni look like kids here too 💀💀
No they dont 💀
Hyeni, I couldn't agree more," you will find something to do". I turned down a scholarship offer because I didn't want to go to a University, I wanted to be like my grandfather. By doing this I had a four year head start on my peers and I had a successful business and am now retired. Parents aren't always right or say the right things, they're not perfect, and their kids won't always make an A+. Heejae had a couple of very good points also. Here in the US approximately 68% of students actually graduate, 29% work in a different field than their diploma and 16% of grads are unemployed, I assume there were no jobs for someone with a degree in under water basket weaving. One of our major Universities now has a class in How to do nothing. I kid you not. Always remember successful people will do what the unsuccessful won't do. This was a well thought out video and needs to be watched by high school students.
I need Hyeni’s positivity and Saebom’s confidence.
Compare peoples with other is one of the worst. Everyone have different skills and difficulties. That’s hurt to hear that other peoples did better than you when you tried your best. Especially when parents say « if it was me, I’ll succeed better and faster than you » that’s too much. Times have changed and we are all different. These differences make unique peoples.
This one was powerful. I think it touches everyone at one point in our lives.
I love the POV of Heejae, agree with her that you should listen and choose wisely.
I do believe that parents also say that because of their experiences, though ofc sometimes it is not the same since the world is continously evolving, but the thing is there is always a wisdom in every generation, and that is what you need to learn, on how to filter out and pick up the ones applicable on your life
this is why I talked with my father while crying when I was a teenager we had such a big crying party hhhhhhhh it was the first time I saw my dad cry and said I thought I would encourage you to stuff by saying and all that and while crying I told him that that method isn't for me I like compliments and I hope you can find the right method for my other siblings since then I started to help my parents out to know what my siblings like and dislike I told my parents everything we became friends more than just parents. being a teenager you don't really think about your parents' perspective I was their first child they're new to parenting too so it's okay not to know how to encourage your kid you just use what your parents used on you but the problem is you don't know if it's the right method to use with your kid. to all teenagers out there I hope you get the time to talk to your parents about your feelings more then just saying no or I don't want to saying your feelings out loud until your parents understand what kind of a person you are and what's your emotions after hearing what they say to you
This video was soo healing knowing that you are not alone who is going through all this they forgot that toxic environment would never let there children pursue anything in life
Heejae is fkn awesome! Love her reactions to these questions!
I've heard a lot of these even from people not related to me . Parents, we can often times say it's just their generational thinking, worry about how you will support yoursef in the future, or just want control over you. When other people do it, I think they are just too nosy and don't have enough to keep them busy.
IMO, don't always look or wait for compliments from others . You could be waiting until the end of time. Don't expect to agree with everyone or that everyone should agree with you. You could be very disappointed and have lots of disagreements. It's okay to disagree, just be respectful. That is more for your peace of mind.
Find and have your dreams and goals, adjusting where it makes sense for you. Life happens in ways we cannot always predict. You will have failures, but instead look at them as learning tools for what you don't want and need in your life. You can and will rise above everything life puts in your way, but you have to keep looking and moving toward your dreams/goals.
Figure out a way to make a living wage while working towards your goals, so you are not dependent on others for your livelihood. That way you won't be pressured to live and do as others want for you. The sooner you become financially, emotionally and physically independent, you give yourself permission to live as you want.
It will be a struggle for a while, but you will gain so much valuable life experience overcomming obstacles. You will be proud of yourself.
The truth is, your opinion is the one that matters most. Period! Bravo, now you go do you!!
I am going through my teenage phase ,,,, the video really hit hard for me . Specially when i am always hearing this hurtful questions . I always thought of giving up. But hearing the advices and answers of whom went through the same time ,, i realised I am not alone. All good things will come so i will go through this time strongly ❤thank you awesome world 🌎 ❤
I remember being told I wish I never gave birth to you by my biological mother. It's just part of the reason that I don't have a relationship with her now and I'm so thankful👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾
@hanakoaisen5927 It's crazy how mothers do that. Like, it's irrational thinking.
I’m an adult and people still make comments about my life as if it matters to them. I’m bilingual ( speak, Spanish and English) and those who I translate at work and even family members that I’m always translating for, make comments about “why if I’m bilingual I don’t work somewhere else”… I study for what I work for I’m not making that much money but I truly enjoy my job. I get to help people ( even those who criticize me) and I’m also responsible of making sure people follow rules. It hurts me when they ask me those type of questions.
I have friends that tell me to do a course to get an English tittle because I self learned most of what I know, though I suck at pronunciation outside songs. I DON'T WANT TO! I learn languages because I feel like it, at my own pace, I detest structured learning, it becomes an obligation and is tiring and gets boring.
1:04 so savage, I love it!!. 5:43 she is so sassy i think she might be my fave
I think some of them are probably from stressed parents talking out of anger, but some might be because they are concerned for their children too about how they will support their selves after the parent is no longer there to support them. Still hurtful though
They could be concerned questions only if asked with the right words and the right time. In this context they are just belittling and hurtful. And most of the time it's just toxic parenting stemming from generational culture (mostly Asian Parents).
Plz tell me that I wasnt the only one crying by watching this video 🤧😢😭...I have heard some of those things when i was a student and not so long time ago and I intsantly had a flashback and I got all sentimental..mostly from my mom and grandma while living with them...things like "Why dont u dress up like that girl" , "Why dont u lose some weight" , "Dont eat too much" , "What makes you feel so stressed,you dont have things to worry about"...I have tried many times in the past to let them know these words dont do me any good and just make me sad..and they say you cant take a joke or like ur overreacting..and it just breaks my heart cause i cant just turn around and ignore those words..hence why i dont visit as much/call often cause i want to avoid hearing comments like that...I have very low self confidence and since I can relate , when a kid hears these stuff from their family I know for a fact that it lowers their image of worth...So thank you for acknowledging this issue cause IT IS an issue) and passing a message..Dear parents plz dont hurt your kids like that cause without knowing you can cause depression on your kids..Learn that its not only them that should respect you but YOU should also RESPECT THEM..!!!! If you happen to say something mean to them and later when you think about it , go and apologize to them for what you said and give them a hug..cause meybe in the long future they will distance themselves from you...💜
U are doing great. So dont give up, do what u want to do, live how u want to live. Be happy cause u are worth it.
Heejae 💜
When i was 10, my parents died. Since then, my aunt took care of me. But she has hurtfull words everyday. The one that i remember the most was when she said : Go, follow your parents. No wonder they choose to die if they have kids like you.
That was hurt as hell. And im not like troblemaker kids. I always become one of the top student, i dont do extraculiculer bcs they cant and wont afford it. I dont go to vacation bcs they said it just waste of money. I don't even asked for pocket money when they don't give me... Everytime there was Olimpiade, my teachers always ask me to join but i can't. Bcs i can't even afford it.
That time, this kind of question really makes me want to die. But i still have one little sister. It would be harder if i die for her. Rn, this kind question don't bother me again. It make me so numb. Some of my friends even said i don't have feeling anymore..
Hey there. I hope you can get out as soon as you are able to become financially independent.
But one thing I want to say is: please do research about all the financial information about your parents like insurance, money, will, etc. once you get out. Make sure to do it quietly with the help of a good lawyer. Do not tell anyone, especially your aunt or other relatives.
I have a suspicion your aunt might have dipped her hands into what your parents left for you and your sister.
If it turns out to be so, report it to the authorities.
Remember: tell no one. If you do, they'll start erasing evidence. And it might be even difficult for you to gather all the information.
Hope this helps.
I am crying watching this. I think I needed to hear some of these things and just go out and work hard. Thankyou
They look like real students
You are doing great, YeWon!
We want heejae outfits vid with hoseung and byeung
Wash you guys are super cool, Fighting!!!!
It is so hurtful to hear by own parent that haveing regret for giving birth you.
I've herd that Asian parents say hurtful things to there children alot. Putting them down and comparing them to another child or someone else child that they know . That they don't say positive things to there children or they are not understanding. I dont know if being that way is part of there culture but it sounds very sad . 😢
This is true for my parents and I think majority of Asian parents. I was once dragged from my classroom to gate of the school because I had C on most my subjects. everyone saw me parents, teachers and students it was a shameful experience. After that I got A till I graduated because I was so scared for it to happen again
I think I got asked every question once or twice during my school days
여러분 잘하고있어요! 화이팅!
You're doing great!!
In my opinion parents that dare to tell their children that they regret them being born are very toxic people. 😐
You did great . Love your parents but do you & everything will come out right .
Not to brag, but i think I'm good at academics. But just last month i realized no matter what I do, how good grades i get or no matter how much i give to do something I'll always be an insignificant person. Although i was not told these things but i was always made to feel that I'm not doing enough,I'm still lacking and my anxiety doesn't help me... so yeah i do want someone to tell me I'm doing great,I'm doing enough and i want a big tight hug🙃
Wow beautiful nice big fan ❤️😍❤️❤️
If their kid aren’t academically smart as the other kids, then maybe it is the parents fault.
If a parent failed to sort out their financial problems, what makes you think you deserve to start a family? You’re basically setting your child up for failure.
And if your kid turns out to be academically stupid, who do you blame? The kid?
I feel sorry for the people out there that grew up in this environment. It’s not your fault. You’ve been set up for failure.
I love it ❤
I feel like parents who say that the money they spent on their kids is a waste of money just followed the cultural norm but never really got to spend their money on themselves
asians: you need to study to become lawyer
me being reasonable: why cant you just let them live their own life tho?
asians: yeah but money and shit
me not being reasonable: fuck money. Being happy for themselves is what makes difference. Say no for submission and yes for free will!!!
for reference i had chinese girlfriend for 3 years
3
Hi
A lot of their answers are naive. Everyone knows that the older version of themselves would most likely not listen to their younger selves.
Are they though?
You don’t believe that some parent set their kid up for failure?
Do you think that parents have every right to complain to their child if they aren’t academically smart like the other kids?
Do you think it’s fair?
@@alohatigers1199 Agree with you.
My parents basically stalked me while I was in University, I had to drop out because of that nonsense.
I had to quit my job too because my mom send people outside my workplace to keep an eye on me. I worked in corporate, and it effected my reputation.
I ended up becoming very sick, and they kicked me out of the house. Now I can barely do anything on my own.
So yes, there are parents who set up their kids for failures because they themselves are freaking miserable.
Hn
first