Dude, how did I just learn so much about myself and my struggles with MS from this video?! I’ve been trying to explain myself to friends and family and could never get them to understand. Especially since the course of my disease has not created as many overtly visible challenges. People often forget I’m dealing with it. This video summarizes how I feel so well.
This is a great metaphore. However I find a lot of people judge us behind our backs. So we really don’t get a fair chance to explain. Does anyone recognise this?
Unfortunately, people are ultimately going to believe what they want to believe. All we can do is to educate the best that we can and model what we want to see in others. I choose to believe that in time, this will snowball into something amazing!
Sadly, you are correct. When my ex left me is when I learned the full truth of what you say. Too many people started telling me they never believed he was that sick and wondered when I figure it out. He is still severely ill. Their judgement does not help anyone
@@mikelong372think of it like when you have a good day compared to a day with a bad flu or stomach flu. I’m sure your energy (or spoons) you can handle is different for those days. Just like someone with chronic illness. They have good days and bad days. But their good days only can start with so many spoons no matter what. Let’s say a healthy person gets 50 spoons a day. A chronically ill person might only get 20-30 on a good day. If they overdo it the day before, get sick or have a flare up of symptoms, then they might only get 10 at most that day. I hope this helps you understand.
Christine Miserandino happened to use spoons as the metaphor, because they were in reach. (She was out eating at a restaurant at the time when her theory was born!) It's great analogy. I heard about it and recognised its merit immediately. I suppose I too am a spoonie!
Some spoons are silver and some are plastic. I love this video. I think everyone is dealing with something and we don't always see each other. Love and patience
@CrazyCoon100 silver spoons need to get polished, or else they get, (ahem), tarnished. Personally, I like to put my food either on a tortilla, or use corn chips... Hey, on a side note, we still use sippy cups,( aluminum cans) and soda pop bottles. 😆 Lol. You got to have humor in life. I'm just an average Joe. People are just, human. K I'm out. Have a good one.
This video was done with excellence, and I have shared it with a few people today. It's easy to understand and memorable. Thanks for putting so much work in to it. I look forward to reading your website and articles.
Thanks for the clear explanation of the chronic illness interpretation of spoon theory, lately i am mostly hearing neuro diverse use it. Small remark on the asking help is strong claim, this is mostly said by people who have little experience asking for help (for small physical stuff). And it feels patronizing when people say this to me in my experience the person that helps gets a good feeling when I allow them or ask them for help. So in offect i am doing them a favor by asking for help
TL;DR I use the theory also to express neurodivergent and for mental health in hope that it gives more people shared langueage and understanding for chronic issues. I hope it spreads and helps, not dilute and harms the message. Longer format: I borrow the spoon theory both diversity, mental illness and fysical chronic illness. It is good as a shared langueage and to give more people a way to express their struggles and understand others in their struggles - especially those with chronic illness. And especially in English (in danish we have a word, surplus, that closely related but in a more vague and less tangible way.) Borrow, cause I know even on my worst days I had more spoons that what was hinted in the spoon theory article about lupus. It seems good to explain how energy levels might fluctuate and sometimes not be enough for what we intend. But of course for spoonies it's to frustrating degrees. I get that, so I truly hope spreading the message doesn't dilute the importance of it for those that depend on it.
My sibling told me about this before & it really hit home to describe what living with my wife is like. Everything you said & covered in this video matches up to her perfectly. I offer her allot of help, even in direct ways when I state what help I am offering. But that doesn't always work and allot of the times I can't live her life for her. Some things she has to do on her own and even when I want to... I can't do them for her.... Yet they still get delayed. The goal been try to encourage her into counseling/therapy... But she is introverted & not a fan of that at all.... & she never has enough spoons to sign up for it. Even tho she is at the point where she is agreeing to give it a try. Here I am trying to find a good day where she seems happy and more likely to see it though. But I suffer short term memory impairment from a car accident I was in... & that doesn't really work... Do you have any advice on what is the best way to help someone who matches spoon theory in every way you explained when they already have full time support (me) but it's just not enough to get them though life smoothly or easily?
I want to start by saying thank you for being you and beliving in your wife. I wish there was a one-size-fits-all answer, but there isn't. I am by no means a licensed cousnelor or anything so keep that in mind. Perhaps you could start with couples therapy. That way, she doesn't have to feel like she's going at it alone. Hopefully then, she'll see the value in it and want to work through some things on her own.
@@spooncentral5500 That is an idea we could try, I just fear how our situation will look to a 3rd party & how they will address it. But it is something I've kept in mind to considering trying one day. Thank you for your reply tho!
@@TheIdleCrow I suppose that boils down to finding a good therapist that has worked with chronic illness patients before. I hope things turn out well for you both!
As a spoonie licensed therapist I love the idea of couples therapy - you can Google therapists in your area that specialize in chronic illness they typically are very understanding of the hesitance and potential for canceled or Telehealth appointments. Sending peace and love.
Has your medical provider recommended Synthroid or another medication to help with your hypothyroidism? If it doesn't work for you, you have the right to request a different medication.
Omfg…. I had someone tell me about this. I tell people all the time I was bored with city miles on my body and highway miles on my face because I don’t look “sick” but I take about 16 pills at night and 4 in the morning and some days the exhaustion is evident on my face…
Autistic Spoonie here, it’s the worst when I spend nearly all my spoons on that coveted “do shit for 5 hours” powerup and then everything I planned for the day is belayed or moved to the next day, and 5 hours later somebody asks me to do something. It’s so demoralising, since the individual cost of actions is high enough that I usually prefer to just do everything in 3 hours where I can just pad everything out with fluffy spoons.
the spoon theory irritates me for being such a missed opportunity to be a video game analogy.... should be hearts or energy instead....why fucking spoons? idk man but i feel like hearts is a better analogy, cause i just lost 3 hearts by exerting the energy to type this edit: just wanna clarify that i do understand the context (the person who coined the term used spoons in their analogy), but it makes it so confusing for those who do not have the context. i feel like hearts would just be easier to explain lol
You're right, it could have been anything. Perhaps reading the original article will provide more context. butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
It could've indeed been anything, but it can help in a few ways. "Spoon" is a pretty distinct word, so if you're to low to talk properly, you can still be understood when you explain it. There's also the metaphor that goes with needing spoons to eat, because you can't eat stuff like soup or cereal without a spoon, similar to how we can't function well without our spoons.
@@elqord.1118 It really isn't all that crazy niche anymore. D&D is becoming extremely popular lately, and explaining it as spell slots has saved me a shit ton of explaining
Why spoons? Why not forks? Pebbles.. etc. This is my question that is not being answered by literally anyone on the internet. . I’ve been told that using a metaphor-less word to describe the amount of energy you have can separate/ ostracize the person further from others whom may not understand their particular situation. Give us a good reason to use this term or explain a better more solid meaning to this term. For the love of dog. People who are having a hard time identifying with others don’t need a made up term to further them linguistically sounding like they have no idea how to express themselves. We can single ourselves out jus fine on our own thank you :b
Because according the the person who coined the term, they literally used spoons to explain what it was like living with a chronic illness to their friend. They were talking at the dinner table, and she grabbed all the spoons. It's not that deep really. I'm sure if they were sitting having this conversation on a riverside she would have used pebbles.
i have one thing to say about this... "spoon" theory after watching it briefly. Americans. ANYTHING. Literally ANYTHING but the metric system. Spoons?! What's next, bananas? Oh wait, WE'VE ALREADY BEEN THERE, THANKS CNN. CURSES! 😤🍌
Are you just trolling? Christine Miserandino is the person who "coined" Spoon Theory. Christine Miserandino has Lupus. "Lupus occurs when the immune system, which normally helps protect the body from infection and disease, attacks its own tissues" -www.niams.nih.gov/ (I don't feel like doing a correct citation at the moment.) Christine Miserandino developed Spoon Theory as a way to communicate her day-to-day struggles with a chronic illness (At a restaurant while speaking to a friend, with spoons nearby). Other people with chronic illnesses latched on to this metaphor. This metaphor resonates with a lot of people with chronic illnesses and provides a way to communicate their day-to-day problems with others. Why am I invested in this particular subject? I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder and Ankylosing Spondylitis. I am a psych nurse and married (and also a vet). Sometimes I run out of spoons. I still show up in all the areas of my life that are important, but it's exhausting. I assume that you are one of those people who scream "Miracle!!" when somebody gets out of their mechanical wheelchair to reach a high item on a shelf at Walmart. You do not understand chronic illnesses or even addictions. What is the purpose of my rant? Maybe the next time you interact with somebody, understand that you do not know their struggles, and extend a little bit of Grace, instead of judgment.
Dude, how did I just learn so much about myself and my struggles with MS from this video?! I’ve been trying to explain myself to friends and family and could never get them to understand. Especially since the course of my disease has not created as many overtly visible challenges. People often forget I’m dealing with it. This video summarizes how I feel so well.
It makes me so happy that this video made you feel "seen" and understood!
They won’t understand and most of them will blame you or run for the hills unless you’re rich
Good luck
@ I’m sad that this has been your experience. My wife (then gf) hasn’t run and my friends and family are supportive. I hope things get better for you.
This made so much sense. I’ve never known how to articulate this before, it’s a great analogy.. thank you
Is it really? it's just an energy bar no?
I don't get why she chose "spoons" specifically.
@@badplayer4348 This article explains it. butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
This is a great metaphore. However I find a lot of people judge us behind our backs. So we really don’t get a fair chance to explain. Does anyone recognise this?
Unfortunately, people are ultimately going to believe what they want to believe. All we can do is to educate the best that we can and model what we want to see in others. I choose to believe that in time, this will snowball into something amazing!
Sadly, you are correct. When my ex left me is when I learned the full truth of what you say. Too many people started telling me they never believed he was that sick and wondered when I figure it out. He is still severely ill. Their judgement does not help anyone
@Mike Long Basically the spoon theory answers the question: Why am I so tired today?
@@mikelong372think of it like when you have a good day compared to a day with a bad flu or stomach flu. I’m sure your energy (or spoons) you can handle is different for those days. Just like someone with chronic illness. They have good days and bad days. But their good days only can start with so many spoons no matter what. Let’s say a healthy person gets 50 spoons a day. A chronically ill person might only get 20-30 on a good day. If they overdo it the day before, get sick or have a flare up of symptoms, then they might only get 10 at most that day. I hope this helps you understand.
Oh, yes. There is a fancy medical Latin term for those people. They're called "jerks."
Christine Miserandino happened to use spoons as the metaphor, because they were in reach. (She was out eating at a restaurant at the time when her theory was born!)
It's great analogy. I heard about it and recognised its merit immediately. I suppose I too am a spoonie!
Ohhhhhh!!! Thank you!! I wondered where the spoons came from.
Some spoons are silver and some are plastic. I love this video. I think everyone is dealing with something and we don't always see each other. Love and patience
Lol it’s a lot easier when you have silver spoons
@CrazyCoon100 silver spoons need to get polished, or else they get, (ahem), tarnished. Personally, I like to put my food either on a tortilla, or use corn chips... Hey, on a side note, we still use sippy cups,( aluminum cans) and soda pop bottles. 😆 Lol. You got to have humor in life. I'm just an average Joe. People are just, human. K I'm out. Have a good one.
This video was done with excellence, and I have shared it with a few people today. It's easy to understand and memorable. Thanks for putting so much work in to it. I look forward to reading your website and articles.
Thanks for the clear explanation of the chronic illness interpretation of spoon theory, lately i am mostly hearing neuro diverse use it.
Small remark on the asking help is strong claim,
this is mostly said by people who have little experience asking for help (for small physical stuff).
And it feels patronizing when people say this to me
in my experience the person that helps gets a good feeling when I allow them or ask them for help.
So in offect i am doing them a favor by asking for help
Thank you for your remarks about asking for help. This point, in particular, is very subjective and different for everyone.
TL;DR
I use the theory also to express neurodivergent and for mental health in hope that it gives more people shared langueage and understanding for chronic issues. I hope it spreads and helps, not dilute and harms the message.
Longer format:
I borrow the spoon theory both diversity, mental illness and fysical chronic illness.
It is good as a shared langueage and to give more people a way to express their struggles and understand others in their struggles - especially those with chronic illness.
And especially in English
(in danish we have a word, surplus, that closely related but in a more vague and less tangible way.)
Borrow, cause I know even on my worst days I had more spoons that what was hinted in the spoon theory article about lupus.
It seems good to explain how energy levels might fluctuate and sometimes not be enough for what we intend.
But of course for spoonies it's to frustrating degrees. I get that, so I truly hope spreading the message doesn't dilute the importance of it for those that depend on it.
My problem is I never know how many spoons to start my day with.
My sibling told me about this before & it really hit home to describe what living with my wife is like.
Everything you said & covered in this video matches up to her perfectly.
I offer her allot of help, even in direct ways when I state what help I am offering. But that doesn't always work and allot of the times I can't live her life for her.
Some things she has to do on her own and even when I want to... I can't do them for her.... Yet they still get delayed.
The goal been try to encourage her into counseling/therapy... But she is introverted & not a fan of that at all.... & she never has enough spoons to sign up for it. Even tho she is at the point where she is agreeing to give it a try.
Here I am trying to find a good day where she seems happy and more likely to see it though.
But I suffer short term memory impairment from a car accident I was in... & that doesn't really work...
Do you have any advice on what is the best way to help someone who matches spoon theory in every way you explained when they already have full time support (me) but it's just not enough to get them though life smoothly or easily?
I want to start by saying thank you for being you and beliving in your wife. I wish there was a one-size-fits-all answer, but there isn't. I am by no means a licensed cousnelor or anything so keep that in mind. Perhaps you could start with couples therapy. That way, she doesn't have to feel like she's going at it alone. Hopefully then, she'll see the value in it and want to work through some things on her own.
@@spooncentral5500 That is an idea we could try, I just fear how our situation will look to a 3rd party & how they will address it.
But it is something I've kept in mind to considering trying one day.
Thank you for your reply tho!
@@TheIdleCrow I suppose that boils down to finding a good therapist that has worked with chronic illness patients before. I hope things turn out well for you both!
As a spoonie licensed therapist I love the idea of couples therapy - you can Google therapists in your area that specialize in chronic illness they typically are very understanding of the hesitance and potential for canceled or Telehealth appointments. Sending peace and love.
Exceptional video and explanation. I'm going to use it to try and express to others what I am going through. Thanks
Thank you!!
You're welcome! I hope that it helps!
This explains my life so accurately !
Sent this to my mum. I am Autistic with chronic anxiety and depression and this really helps
This is the best video I've found on explaining spoon theory. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you for the explanation. I was watching a video on a different channel and she mentioned spoon theory and I really didn't know what it was.
this makes so much sense !!!! Thank you!!!
Would be nice for medicine to catch up to this and help us out with chronic fatigue.
Modern medicine has absolutely no idea nor solutions for this.
I could use a few spoons right now...I went ice fishing with my son in law
I have hypothyroidism and this explains everything I'm always tired and having to force my self to do things and when I'm so tired it hurts everything
Has your medical provider recommended Synthroid or another medication to help with your hypothyroidism? If it doesn't work for you, you have the right to request a different medication.
Wonderful explanation.people can understand this way of thinking.
Energy conservation and self pacing = spoon theory
I shared this with people close to me, thanks
Thank u
Omfg…. I had someone tell me about this. I tell people all the time I was bored with city miles on my body and highway miles on my face because I don’t look “sick” but I take about 16 pills at night and 4 in the morning and some days the exhaustion is evident on my face…
nice vid. thanks!
(though not crazy about labeling folks likely already experiencing stigma, "spoonies")
Autistic Spoonie here, it’s the worst when I spend nearly all my spoons on that coveted “do shit for 5 hours” powerup and then everything I planned for the day is belayed or moved to the next day, and 5 hours later somebody asks me to do something. It’s so demoralising, since the individual cost of actions is high enough that I usually prefer to just do everything in 3 hours where I can just pad everything out with fluffy spoons.
This helped me understand my friends so much more!
I'm so happy to hear it!
Thats basicaly dnd spellcasting rules
the spoon theory irritates me for being such a missed opportunity to be a video game analogy.... should be hearts or energy instead....why fucking spoons? idk man but i feel like hearts is a better analogy, cause i just lost 3 hearts by exerting the energy to type this
edit: just wanna clarify that i do understand the context (the person who coined the term used spoons in their analogy), but it makes it so confusing for those who do not have the context.
i feel like hearts would just be easier to explain lol
She was in a restaurant when she came up with it. A spoon was in front of her. Or so they say.
But WHY "spoons" though??? 🤔
I’ve seen it explained as “stamina like a video game character” too
My is spinning like mad
But why spoons? It sounds completely arbitrary...could have been anything
You're right, it could have been anything. Perhaps reading the original article will provide more context. butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
It could've indeed been anything, but it can help in a few ways. "Spoon" is a pretty distinct word, so if you're to low to talk properly, you can still be understood when you explain it. There's also the metaphor that goes with needing spoons to eat, because you can't eat stuff like soup or cereal without a spoon, similar to how we can't function well without our spoons.
I like to use spell slots, instead.
Anyone who understands D&D will understand immediately
@@sailormoonnerd_ Way to pick a super crazy niche
@@elqord.1118 It really isn't all that crazy niche anymore.
D&D is becoming extremely popular lately, and explaining it as spell slots has saved me a shit ton of explaining
Why spoons? Why not forks? Pebbles.. etc. This is my question that is not being answered by literally anyone on the internet. . I’ve been told that using a metaphor-less word to describe the amount of energy you have can separate/ ostracize the person further from others whom may not understand their particular situation. Give us a good reason to use this term or explain a better more solid meaning to this term. For the love of dog. People who are having a hard time identifying with others don’t need a made up term to further them linguistically sounding like they have no idea how to express themselves. We can single ourselves out jus fine on our own thank you :b
Because according the the person who coined the term, they literally used spoons to explain what it was like living with a chronic illness to their friend. They were talking at the dinner table, and she grabbed all the spoons. It's not that deep really. I'm sure if they were sitting having this conversation on a riverside she would have used pebbles.
@@agreatday9566 finally thank you!! what i was looking for on google for weeks!
Wow
Exercise and eating healthier can increase your spoon capacity
chronic illness sucks !
It's important to remember this is only physical: it's been scientifically proven, through research, this doesn't apply to mental fatigue. Thanks!
6 out of 10!?!
spoonnis????? lol
🥄
Chronic illness isn't always the case here. Chronic illness comes into stuff like diabetes and physical stuff
I only have a few spoons left today time to watch anime
i have one thing to say about this...
"spoon" theory after watching it briefly.
Americans. ANYTHING. Literally ANYTHING but the metric system.
Spoons?! What's next, bananas? Oh wait,
WE'VE ALREADY BEEN THERE,
THANKS CNN. CURSES! 😤🍌
U missed the entire point...
Ah, i understand now, they're losers
Gross manipulative justifications. I have respect for the people that can own up to their laziness and or addictions.
Are you just trolling? Christine Miserandino is the person who "coined" Spoon Theory. Christine Miserandino has Lupus. "Lupus occurs when the immune system, which normally helps protect the body from infection and disease, attacks its own tissues" -www.niams.nih.gov/ (I don't feel like doing a correct citation at the moment.) Christine Miserandino developed Spoon Theory as a way to communicate her day-to-day struggles with a chronic illness (At a restaurant while speaking to a friend, with spoons nearby). Other people with chronic illnesses latched on to this metaphor. This metaphor resonates with a lot of people with chronic illnesses and provides a way to communicate their day-to-day problems with others. Why am I invested in this particular subject? I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder and Ankylosing Spondylitis. I am a psych nurse and married (and also a vet). Sometimes I run out of spoons. I still show up in all the areas of my life that are important, but it's exhausting. I assume that you are one of those people who scream "Miracle!!" when somebody gets out of their mechanical wheelchair to reach a high item on a shelf at Walmart. You do not understand chronic illnesses or even addictions. What is the purpose of my rant? Maybe the next time you interact with somebody, understand that you do not know their struggles, and extend a little bit of Grace, instead of judgment.
You would be disgusted with yourself for making this statement, if you yourself had a chronic and debilitating illness