Autism Life: *Communication & Morals* Truth & Lies & Autism

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  • Опубліковано 29 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 38

  • @pgrayshock
    @pgrayshock 5 років тому +38

    I've often been wrongly accused of lying and/or exaggerating. Even by those who know me well. It drives me crazy because I do not/cannot lie and exaggerate. I think I've probably spent more time trying to prove what I say than I have actually saying it. Thanks for another great video.

    • @howardlanus8467
      @howardlanus8467 3 роки тому +6

      I feel the same way. Sometimes people read intent where it doesn't exist, and some have even accused me of lacking empathy for arguing over fictional characters.

    • @MartinMCade
      @MartinMCade Рік тому +3

      There's a difference between sincerely saying something that's untrue, as an honest mistake, vs lying which has intent to deceive. But different communication styles, and a lack of social awareness, might cause misunderstandings. There have been things I said or wrote as a teenager, that in hindsight might be considered "lies", but as a teenager I would have had trouble understanding why.

  • @ziggypip2938
    @ziggypip2938 Рік тому +12

    I loved my autistic partner and trusted him so much, thinking he was the most honest person on earth. Then I discovered he had been lying to me for years abs he made up some outrageous stories. It still feels so sad to be deceived by someone I so deeply trusted. 😢

    • @martinpetersson4350
      @martinpetersson4350 11 місяців тому +2

      It truly makes me sad hearing this. People like that harms the rest of us too 😢

    • @Victoria-uq8mf
      @Victoria-uq8mf 9 місяців тому

      It's something I learned how to do when I was little. I would make people doubt their reality. Or I could get people to "follow" me to try bad things because I don't know how to handle getting in trouble alone so I would use others to self regulate
      Once I realized that I could hurt people's feelings, it was only because the way they responded to me, hurt mine. 💔
      And through that I learned great compassion for others
      But it's honestly not naturally there
      But learned is just as authentic and at times can run deeper. But only if the person can get out of their fantasy long enough to trust you completely. And that's a them problem, not a you problem.
      I'm sorry you went through that 🫂

  • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
    @JDMimeTHEFIRST 6 місяців тому +6

    Neurotypicals often discriminate against autistic people, accusing us of lying because they infer things about us that aren’t true. Many of us have been bullied out of jobs because of this.

  • @Polytunnel
    @Polytunnel 4 роки тому +14

    I prefer to tell the truth, although I will tell a white lie if I care about the person sometimes. I am paranoid about communicating with everybody though, since I often don't give the "secret" signals that they are looking for. I worry that people think I'm lying or exaggerating and any interview is excruciating. It has damaged my confidence, although I am making small steps. I'm not certain if NTs and autistics CAN understand each other, much as I would wish that. It shouldn't be this difficult to be my true self. Thanks again for another excellent video.

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  4 роки тому +6

      Thanks for commenting Rowena. I think that autistic & NT cross communication is quite possible across the board, but it requires effort on both sides. Sadly there are far too many people who think all the effort should come from autistic people to fit in with NT expectations, so progress is nowhere near what it should be. There are numerous NT people I know who meet me halfway which allows for superb communication that both sides feel comfortable with, but they are far from the majority.

    • @howardlanus8467
      @howardlanus8467 3 роки тому +3

      @@Autistamatic Sadly that has been my experience as well. I know I have issues with communication, and that I need to work on them. But I'll always have them, no matter what. I'm not asking the world to bend over backwards, but it would be nice if my co-workers at the very least remembered that communication is a two-way street, and that the problem isn't always in one end only.

    • @ziggypip2938
      @ziggypip2938 Рік тому

      My ASD partner was a huge massive liar over years about really important things. 😢 I trusted him so much. It was so destructive

  • @natefrom828
    @natefrom828 4 роки тому +12

    It makes me angry and frustrated when someone says I'm lying. This makes sense as to why they would think it though. I've never thought of the lack of body language cues for why they may think I'm lying. I've even been called cold blooded when I was actually trying to help someone.

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  4 роки тому +3

      All too familiar Nate. "cold" is something many of us have been called.

  • @MapsLab-u5z
    @MapsLab-u5z Рік тому +1

    😢 half truths when i was scared of abandonment or as you say to spare someones feelings.

  • @stevegreenwood7837
    @stevegreenwood7837 10 місяців тому +1

    Fantastic my friend great videos thank you for all your hard work

  • @moments22
    @moments22 4 місяці тому +1

    The guy I fell in love with, acted like he was interested , etc etc etc , when he learnt of my feelings , and I asked him could he ever feel the same , he said he’d think about it . A few weeks later , he told me he hadn’t thought about it and was was just being polite at the time . I’m gutted. It’s bullshit they don’t lie .

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  4 місяці тому +1

      Sorry to hear of how you were treated. I've been hurt in similar ways too often in my own past. Being lied to hurts, whoever they are and for whatever reason.

  • @kerkerzwerg
    @kerkerzwerg 4 місяці тому +1

    AuDHDer here.
    This might be a bit specific, but when I was a kid, my mom used to wiggle her pinky and melodically say "little finger laugh a little" and said, if we smiled or laughed, then we had been lying. Problem was, that my little autistic brain just short-curcuited to immediately always laugh at her doing that because of how uncomfortable and nervous it'd make me feel.

  • @rfishrfish4242
    @rfishrfish4242 7 місяців тому

    This video is awesome. Thank you very much for putting into words what I see and feel every day. Great video the only thing is, I wish you could redo this video without the background music. It’s just as loud as your voices little irritating but besides that awesome you’re the best on UA-cam, I truly feel it way …

  • @turtleanton6539
    @turtleanton6539 Рік тому +1

    Yes

  • @trollsneedhugs
    @trollsneedhugs Рік тому +4

    16:28 Neurotypicals think reading body language is seeing the person underneath 😢

    • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
      @JDMimeTHEFIRST 6 місяців тому +2

      They never read us correctly

    • @IrethAmandil
      @IrethAmandil 2 місяці тому

      What gets me is when it's over text and their assumptions run away with them, yet they have nothing to point to

  • @RandyCrowder-k4f
    @RandyCrowder-k4f 10 місяців тому

    13:18 I can understand other autistic people like for instance my cousin who is autistic I can understand him very well. Meanwhile on the other hand with my mom and here sisters husband my oncle she did not Want to intrude on her apartment when she said we could spend the night and my aunt was not there.

  • @kamtheo9774
    @kamtheo9774 8 місяців тому

    They do the same thing as everyone else, the thing is at least they can’t fake it, it shows on them like a child 👍

    • @veronica_._._._
      @veronica_._._._ 4 дні тому

      When l child knows anyone is lying, they have then added burdon of showing it on their face.

    • @kamtheo9774
      @kamtheo9774 4 дні тому

      @@veronica_._._._ children lie with a straight face

  • @briansimerl4014
    @briansimerl4014 Рік тому

    If they say you're lying...they're probably honest.

  • @___slowrider___
    @___slowrider___ 9 місяців тому

    Lying is physically uncomfortable for me. Im no good at poker because my tells are so obvious. Im so bad at lying i have to be honest almost by default

  • @PeppermintPatties
    @PeppermintPatties Місяць тому

    The music is too loud here, Quinn. X

  • @HarmoniousCelestialArtisan
    @HarmoniousCelestialArtisan 8 місяців тому

    I cant lie well why i cant lie it feels wrong but the truth hurts and now be happy living alone 😂
    Yeah life is fun but Not that life

  • @Skoopyghost
    @Skoopyghost 10 місяців тому

    I feel like I need to soften the blow to be a Regina George when I am honest.

  • @Tundradoggle
    @Tundradoggle 5 років тому +5

    So it was Obiwan, not Trump, who invented alternative facts! 😮

    • @RaunienTheFirst
      @RaunienTheFirst Рік тому

      "What I told you was true... From a certain point of view."

  • @cristinachaliandroi1369
    @cristinachaliandroi1369 Місяць тому

    The whole world is a lie baby

  • @jimicunningable
    @jimicunningable Рік тому +2

    Since I'm enraged about war, ecocide, racism and greed, this does not help me in any way.