Are YouTubers Smarter Than A 10 Year Old?
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- Опубліковано 19 жов 2021
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Managed to get a picture with REM, that’s me in the corner.
Very good
You win
You win
my love for that song has caused me to exhale greatly whilst reading this... congratulations! Do you have Twitter/Insta I can follow and DM you on and sort out making your Monday £250 better?
omg!!! yes its lauraaliily!! thank you so much 💖
I think it's time we make Zac take an IQ test.
that time was years ago
Agreed
Indeed
Yes
Best joke! Treat yourself 😂 xx
2.5 isn't a mixed fraction, it's a decimal. 2 1/2 is a mixed fraction, ergo the game is wrong, and there's no shame for you Ciarán.
That's exactly what I thought
Just about to comment upon the same statement. Game is wrong thus their needs to be a rematch
@@matthewamosvlogs936 there*
Thank you! 😂
Except he thought it was 1 2/5...
A man attends a funeral and asks the widow if he can say a word, she agrees. He steps up clears his throat and says “Plethora”, then sits back down. The widow replies “Thanks, that means a lot”.
am i stupid i don’t get it
ohhhh
Ha
I was applying for an Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked "do you have a criminal record?" I said "no, is that still required?"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood.
The rabbit says "I think I might be a type-O."
My grief counsellor died, but he was so good that I don’t even care.
Hehe
Gary Delaney
Damn
YIKES
Horse walks into a bar
Bartender: Hey
Horse: Yes please
I will never forget my granddad’s final words
“Are you still holding the fucking ladder?”
Great video - here's the best joke I could think of off the top of of my head:
I walked in a butchers and the guy said that he bet me 20 quid I couldn't reach those two bits of meat up there. But I said I'm not betting.
The steaks were too high.
I always take my wife morning coffee in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No. She says she'd rather have it in a cup
Its tea not coffee lol
@@matthewlemaistre2614 it couldn’t matter less
@@jackvickers8816 have you seen the video?
A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says, “makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Who's the nicest guy in a hospital?
The ultrasound guy.
And who covers for him when he's away?
The hip replacement guy
how does Zac get the easiest questions but still not know them 😂
Well…he did
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”
Knock knock 🚪
Who’s there?
Smellip
Smellip-who?
…💩
£250 thank you very much
(Sorry, had to go for the most childish joke I know)
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
My voice went higher when I sucked helium.
He was a good priest.
I miss my grandfather I'll always remember his last word's "stop shaking the ladder"
Don’t know if anyone has said this but I’m pretty sure the reason it’s called pencil lead is because it used to be lead but when they found out about the side effects of lead they switched to graphite
There are 7 dwarves in a bath feeling happy. Happy gets out so they all feel grumpy.
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan
Ciarán looks like a proud dad every time Zac gets a question right :)
I gave my daughter a fridge for her birthday. It was great seeing her face light up when she opened it
Why did the chicken cross the road? - to get to your house
Knock knock - who’s there? - the chicken
Ciaran is criminally underrated, that’s not the joke btw
“My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down” - love you Ciaran
why do swedish boats have barcodes on them?
so they can Scandinavian.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea
…
- What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
- Still no idea
What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
I was working as a barman and a bloke walked in and put a 1 foot tall man on the bar and a small piano, in no time the bar was filled with amazing piano music.
I asked the bloke 'thats amazing, where did you get him from?'
He took a lamp from his pocket and said 'if you rub this a genie will appear and grant you 1 wish'
I grabbed the lamp and the genie appeared in all his glory and asked me what my wish was.
'I wish I had a million bucks'
As soon as I finished my wish the genie disappeared and 1 by 1 a million ducks started walking into the bar. I said 'what's happened here? I think that genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks not a million ducks'
The bloke looked at me with a weary expression and said 'do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?'
There was once a farmer who loved his tractors, he had posters and models and a tractor of his own
The only thing he loved more was his darling wife
One day a horrible accident occurred and his wife was flattened by a tractor
Upon hearing the news the farmer tears down his posters, bins his models and sells his tractor
A few years later he is on a date with a woman, trying to move on after his wifes death
Suddenly the restaurant fills with smoke from the kitchen, his date screams but he tells her not to worry
He stands up and sucks in the smoke, rushes outside, and blows it out
He does this a few times until all the smoke had gone
The date said “wow, how did u do that?”
The farmer replied “im an ex-tractor fan”
Freud walks into a bar.
The bartender says “sorry, we can’t serve you”.
Freud walks out, shouting, “mother fucker”
What do you call a rooster staring at a piece of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad
Two nuns are driving on a dark and stormy night, through the winding back roads of Transelvainia. Wind lashes and lightning flashes in the distance. All of a sudden a vampire slams himself onto their window terrifying the poor nuns. As he hisses and violently shakes the car, one nun screams “show him your cross”
The other nun yells “Get off the fucking Window!”
To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy now.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
A horse walk's into a bar. The bar tender says 'Why the long face?'
The horse reply's 'My alcoholism is destroying my family'
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar
It was tense
Zac with one of the greatest character arcs of modern media
Apparently the English language is one of the hardest to learn.
For example, ‘knight’ has a silent K, ‘Knick knack’ has 4 silent Ks and ‘republican’ has 3 silent Ks
What do a puppy and a near-sighted gynaecologist have in common? A wet nose
I bought a TV in the sale, dead cheap but the volume was stuck on full.
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
Two cows stood in a field, one says to the other
"you heard about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow says back looking confused..
"Don't know what you're on about Nigel, I'm a dog"
A man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket. I called out after him “You can hide, but you can’t run!” .
My dad used to always say, “You should fight fire with fire!” Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
I used to have a job at a bowling alley, it wasn't permanent though, just TenPin
I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough" The boss said "You have a wee cough?" I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"
What’s starts with M and ends with Arriage.
Miscarriage
That joke never gets old, and neither does the baby.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
An Ambulance
I went into the pet shop the other day to buy a goldfish. The bloke asked if I wanted an aquarium. I said “I don’t care what star sign it is”
Why do elephants paint their balls red? To hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries.
Joke:
What’s black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
A group of nuns all go for a bike ride, and they're giggling the whole way. The mother superior calls to them "stop giggling or I'll put the saddles back on"
I don’t remember many jokes unless I specifically relate to them, many I know are MH related, this one gave me a chuckle when I first heard it - “Dating with mental health is a little different - third base is when they see you having an anxiety attack.”
Two fish are in a tank,
One fish turns to the other and asks;
“How do we drive this thing”
joke time:
a man walks into his doctors office
the doctor looks at his results
asks him to pick a star sign any star sign
the man thinks and says...dunno Capricorn?
and the doctor says, close but no...you have cancer...
A Sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, "sorry we don't serve food here"
a man goes to a library and asks the librarian if she has any books on turtles. 'hard back?' she asks. 'aye and the tiny heads'
thought you’d appreciate a harry potter joke:
Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils
My favorite book is The Hunchback of Notre-Dame...
I just love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Local advertisement: Broken guitar for sale; no strings attached
Two sausages sizzling in a pan,
One sausage says to the other “Jesus it’s hot in here”
The other sausage replies
“ FUCKIN HELL A TALKING SAUSAGE”
Prediction:
- Ciarán: Definitely
- Will: Probably
- Zac: Nah
Pretty much the opposite lmao
3 kids were asking their mother about their names.
Leafy asked:- Mama, why is my name Leafy?
The Mother answered:- Cause when you were born a Leaf fell on your head
Then Rainy asked:- Mama, why is my name Rainy?
The mother said:- Because when your were born, the water from the rain fell on your head
Then Bricky Asked:- SANMAM,,, EHYWY DISIIS HJHHTMHMGM AMENMA BFIJCKCY¿
I hear you need 2 pandas, 6 grizzlies and 4 polars to open a zoo,
It's the bear minimum!
A woman who just went into Labor suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t, can’t”.
“Don’t worry” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions”
I liked this
Joke-
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
Ha
Zac Djellab walks into a bar. Zac Djellab walks into a lot of things. Because Zac Djellab has a massive head
A granny is driving her car along the high way knitting, a police car come up beside her and notices what she is doing.
Police: “Oi…Pullover!”
Granny: “No it’s a sweater”
“Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?”-George Carlin
Great video!
Joke - I got my wife a bionic leg for Christmas last year.
It wasn't her main present though, it was more of a stocking filler.
What do you get a naughty child with no arms for Christmas, a tennis ball. Worst thing is they still haven't opened it.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
So when I was growing up, we had this family friend who was a farmer, and this guy was absolutely obsessed with tractors. He had posters all over his walls, he bought all the tractor magazines every week, he spent all his free time talking about tractors online etc. The only thing in his life that could compare to his love of tractors was his wife. They were childhood sweethearts, had been married for 20-odd years, never argued about anything, a proper love story for the ages. Anyway, one night the farmer was out tending to his fields in one of his many, many tractors, as he did every day and night, and after he had finished his work and was reversing his tractor back into the barn where he kept it, he hit something. The farmer simply just assumed he had accidentally gone too far back and hit the hay bales he kept at the back of the barn. Either way, he got out and checked just to be sure, and to his absolute horror he found he had actually reversed straight into his wife. She had come out to look for him to tell him she was headed to bed early that night, and in the dark he hadn't seen her behind the tractor, and the tractors engine covered up the noise of her shouting for the farmer to stop. The wife was rushed into an ambulance but was unfortunately pronounced dead on the way to the hospital from her injuries. This, understandably, absolutely broke the farmer. One of his favourite things in the world had just killed his other favourite thing. This lead to the farmer questioning whether he could still love tractors after one had just killed his wife, and after much deliberation, he got rid of the posters, stopped buying the magazines, and he stopped going online to talk about tractors. He fell out of love with them. Very slowly over time, the farmer started meeting people again and started going on some dates, as him and his late wife had always promised they'd do if the other one died. At one of these dates, the farmer noticed smoke started coming out of the kitchen of the restaurant the date was at. At first it was only a small amount, but over time more and more smoke came bellowing out of this kitchen, at which point a chef ran out screaming "FIRE!" with the rest of the kitchen staff following him. This led to a massive scramble of everyone trying to rush out the door, everyone except the farmer. He simply just walked towards the kitchen, stood tall, put his shoulders back and took the deepest breath that he could, somehow breathing in every bit of smoke in the restaurant whilst also cutting the oxygen supply of the fire and putting it out. He then walked outside and breathed all the smoke out of his lungs into the air. Obviously everyone was shocked and began asking him how the hell he did that, to which he simply replied "I'm an ex-tractor fan".
Ask me what I’m doing tomorrow
What are you doing tomorrow Andy?
Well first I’m collecting my glasses and then I’ll see…
what
went to a great new christian restaurant last night called 'The Lord Giveth'. They also do takeaways
A man walks into a hardware shop. He goes up to the counter and asks for some screws to which the store assistant replies “How long do you want them?”. Confused, the man exclaims “I want to keep them!”
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave and it’s Bill Withers…
Recently there has been a lot of property damage in the area, specifically to washing machines. The police couldn't find the culprit, but yesterday they found a dead body and linked the fingerprints to the damaged property, the man's name was Callum, all the locals are so happy because washing machines live longer with cal gone
What’s the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi?
People from Dubai don’t like the Flinstones but people from Abu Dhabi Do
Janice: What do you call a chicken
Me: I don’t know what do you call a chicken
Janice: a chicken (pause waiting for hysterical laughter)
The world's leading expert on wasps walks into a record shop. As he’s flicking through the records he comes across one titled “101 wasp sounds”, the expert grabs the record and buys it instantly.
He takes home his new record excited to play it, but to not read any of the track list and to challenge himself to spot which species of wasp each track is a recording of. He listens to track one but can’t for the life of him seem to work out what it is. “Hmm that’s strange” thought the expert, so he skips to track 2 and once again is completely stumped. This goes on and on until he’s listened to all 101 tracks and couldn’t name a single one.
The following day the expert storms back to the record shop, goes to the counter and says "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the words leading wasp expert and no specimen of wasp that I know of has ever made a sound like the ones on this!” The shop assistant calms the man down, then explains to him that he had actually been listening to the Bee side.
This is class, thank you
As a vinyl DJ this made me laugh way more than I should have 😆
Dan Behenna. Jokes don't usually make me laugh but this is one of the few that did 😂very good thanks! ✌
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
Stole this of w2s 😳
@@seanog3488 W2S didn't invent this joke
@@Dylzhaar I know but he prob seen it there
What do you call Stephen hawking with a Hand grenade: RC-XD
What do you call a lobster that throws things?
A lobber
ciarán: let's use a ds emulator to play are you smarter than a 10 year old?
me, an intellectual: let's use a ds emulator to play pokémon games
You aren’t an intellectual
@@InfinityTornado i was just making a joke lmao
zac was fuming when he found out he learned and tried to finally read a book all for pride
2 nuns are sitting on a park bench, when suddenly a man comes and flashes them. One of them has a stroke, but the other couldn't reach
What’s the difference between a fireman and a soldier?
You can’t dip a fireman in your egg
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
Also, sick video. I’m quite disappointed that you lost to Zac though..🤣
Two bike riding nuns return from a day out, and the younger says to the older “I’ve never come that way before” and the older says “It’s the cobblestones”
Alex’s hair. All the stages. Tell him to get that bandana back, that looked good
Joke: I just got diagnosed with colourblindness, the diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
no
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says "no we don't serve your kind in here". So the piece of string walks out of the bar, ties himself together and messes his hair up. The piece of string walks back into the bar and says "ill have that drink now". The bartender says "aren't you that piece of string I refused earlier". The piece of string says " No, I'm A Freyed knot"
They did a study on renewable energy testing wind turbines and found out that they produce more energy when music is played near them. Apparently they are huge metal fans.
I have a disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it's terminal...
dont have to watch to know ill love this!