We shouldn’t be telling women to shrink themselves to be more palatable to men. If someone can’t handle you the way you are they could never satisfy you in the first place. I encourage other women to make themselves the priority. Being dominant and standing on your values is key!
This is so true. I had a guy I met in law school who pursued me for a while (or acted like he liked me) eventually told me that he no longer wants to date me because I’m not a traditional woman and I’m too ambitious. Mind you we’re both attorneys and he knew I would become an attorney when he met me because WE WERE BOTH IN LAW SCHOOL WHEN WE MET. We would’ve likely never met otherwise. Nonetheless, it showed me how insecure some men really are. Even the ones who are comparably successful to you don’t want a beautiful and accomplished woman. They want a doormat. He told me he wants to marry a woman who wants to serve her husband, not one with their own ambitions. You can’t make this stuff up😂
@@mskabue it took me a while to realize that and it was painful to admit but yeah he wanted to financially abuse me and will likely financially abuse the woman he ends up with. This experience revealed to me the truly narcissistic and predatory nature of men. After this experience I joined the 4b movement. I would rather be alone than abused
Another twisted mommy care guy. 😆 I'm glad that you are not caving in to these babyish guy's demands. This fella you were dealing with is certainly not Barack Obama, who fell in love with his law student sweetheart Michelle. Girl, you need a man, not a big baby.
@@JajaApples let me tell you Sis you'd rather be alone than be in a relationship with a man who will give you trauma to heal from for years....ladies better be by yourself than with the wrong man...saves you a whole lot of BS....tbh
From a mans perspective, it sounds like you were masculine and he lost attraction. If he dated you initially he liked you but along the way something about you turned him off. Accomplished women can be very masculine.
I went to an Ivy League school, and the “highest” level of education these guys were wanting to marry was a teacher; but most were dating nannies at the time. This was the late 90s. I never had even one date in college. From what I saw, the men wanted women who were 100% focused upon him, and in fact, after I got married, my ex husband used to repeatedly yell at me about not completely giving up my entire life for him. Even when I was a SAHW just cooking, cleaning, investing, etc., he got very mad at me for going out to church or opera rehearsals once or twice per week. I’d be at home alone for days at a time, he’d never speak to me when he was home unless it was to say something mean, but then he’d resent if I did anything that didn’t involve him. P.S. I was told this advice about “being more feminine” and confiding in people back in 1995 when I was a freshman in college by our sports psychologist. He said that the other girls on the volleyball team and the men I encountered were jealous of me because I make it look so easy (playing two D1 sports and being a Chem major). But that advice didn’t work. It actually made me look weak to my haters and made them uh-tack me even more. So be forewarned. That advice to pretend to be weak will not work.
Well said. Women….please stop hiding your light under a bushel, and stop diminishing your light simply to be “some foolish man’s wife”… said Lauryn Hill in “Ex Factor”.
They don't want a woman who makes more money than them. . .but they also don't want a "gold digger". Just like they want a woman who has a low body count but who can also do all the sex tricks that they've been watching women do on p0rnhub for the last decade 😑 Man the juice ain't even worth the squeeze with these XY's. . .
They don't want you to make more money yet also want you to not expect and ask them to spend too much money on you, and then complain you don't do enough with how much money and resources he spends on you and gives you
I like autonomy and myself more than men. If I want to buy the same dress, shoes or bag in two different colours, then so be it! I’m not hiding my purchases in the loft for months before I use them, through fear of a man giving me headache in spending the money I’ve earned…..not a chance!
I think these opinions really uphold gender roles and a patriarchal agenda. Simply telling women to be more feminine isn’t it. There needs to be more messaging directed towards men lowering their egos and being more emotionally intelligent. Why do women always have to absorb and make up for the shortcomings of men? So we basically have to dim our light and downplay our success to make them more comfortable. Please…🙄
They are also harmful, men do not treat supposedly vulnerable and dependent woman any better, they financially abuse and neglect those women . Don't listen to this rubbish. Work toward being the best version you can be financially, academically , emotionally, physically. Live a whole life, a life you can be proud of.
@@henryford752 The issue is most men are harmful towards women period. If the woman is more successful they are jealous and won’t treat her well. But if she is financially dependent on him they see her as a gold digger and also don’t treat her well. The issue is with men and how most of them view and treat women as accessories/objects to add to the man’s own life, rather than an equal partner who he is willing to also uplift and support. Men want women to serve THEM and uplift THEM only, and don’t want to be the ones to do the same for the woman. They view women as tools to improve their own life and image, not as human beings. From what I have seen firsthand in real life and online, the only women who can make it work with men are those who are ok with the “serving” role, where they put their own dreams and ambitions on the backburner and put the man first. Only then is the man happy to be a husband for her - it’s because he gets to use her. Women who don’t wish to take on that role and who have their own goals to pursue will find it difficult to find a man who is understanding and accepting of her in a relationship. Men always want to be the ones on top in a relationship, due to fragile egos and societal programming since birth that tells men they are entitled to women’s free labour and support, and that men are somehow superior to women (and therefore their dreams and career are more important compared to the woman’s)
I advise women to be feminine & that doesn't mean dimming her light or being a dormat. I'm so tired of the gender war & enmity. Can't you see the devil is behind this? I know alot of successful, accomplished happily married women. Plenty. Their husband's aren't threatened. Read Ephesians 6:12. Spiritual warfare from Satan is attacking relationships and more.
@@lightinthedusk As sad as this is, I completely agree, but would just add that women who are more financially and emotionally secure, can speak up for themselves etc are in a better position to leave situations that threaten their wellbeing.
Some single/successful women, especially those who are child-free and/or have never been married, yea SOME NEVER want to get married and NEVER want to do ANYTHING to impress a male. Yea - that part.
@@A1SoniaM what are men doing to impress women? The days of women impressing men are over. If I have to act incompetent to attract a man, Im not interested. Successful women would much prefer the peace of solitude than dealing with the insecurities of Ill informed men. A lot of men have monetary wealth but are spiritually and emotionally bankrupt and that’s why successful women don’t want them. Please go find a dependent, I implore you.
@@MrPeterISABELLA ...and you're missing half your brain cells because I SAID....what is 'supposed to be' and 'what is' are TWO COMPELETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.
The girl @6:00 I don’t think she realizes that these women HAVE to be that way, exp. If you live alone or go places alone men will literally look for any sign of vulnerability to take advantage or harm them we have no choice…
I understand where Miss wife in training is coming from but all women don’t want to be a wife,. Why is it so hard to understand that some women want to live their best life single just as well as some men. Its OK for men to do it, but not a women?
Look...it just looks like ill be a single woman for the rest of my life. Lol. These instructions on how to be more "feminine" are just insulting AF. I'm just not in the mood to deal with a man's ego or complex about me being who i am at my core. I dont want kids. I don't want a husband. I DO want all the dogs, though lol.
10:25 🎯🎯. Independent doesn’t equate to masculine. And no matter the job a woman has, if a man wants to be needed, and pay your bills he can! Dating comes down to people’s insecurities. That is all.
The problem about "feminine energy" is that I'm autistic. I can only mask so much! I need to find an autistic dude who doesn't care about that. Or else, be single...
Strong divine feminine women should only seek lovers, and multiple men, not monogamy. These men arent enough for just 1 to match all your needs. 2 or 3 are. Im going to sit down with ANOTHER 38 year old and tell him what i need to get married or have a kid. Its brutal (250k for another child).
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I say this as an independent, financially solvent, educated, professional, 60 year old woman, who retired at 56, with three adult children. I’ve said for the longest time that two or three boyfriends are required. 1 to party with and have a good time if required, 1 to go to the theatre and stimulating conversation at dinner, and 1 to discuss your working day particularly if it’s been stressful. Most of them really don’t fit the mould.
@@laurenmassey5338it’s worse in an unequally yoked, miserable marriage with a man who doesn’t value or appreciate you. Add poverty to that and you’re f******.
Okay, tough love time, I mean no disrespect to anyone. But this conversation needs to be put to rest already. Number one because we as women live in a patriarchal society. We have gone beyond the norm when it comes to jobs and opportunities. If you rise to the top, your options are to be single and be okay with that, if you date just date because he is not checking for you like that, or stop advancing, settle for less then your worth and get married have the family, and maybe you will stay married or you will be a statistic, broke, and with more mouths to feed, on your new very low income. Alone, body issues because of the pregnancies, and seriously unhappy 🙁, choose and lets all turn the chapter on this, please.
This is some bullcrap. A man that does not want or is put off by an ambitious, smart, attractive woman is usually highly selfish. He wants to control every penny that comes in and out of that household. Then when he uses you up he will move to a new victim. These podcasters are out here looking for CashApps, etc. Full of crap.
I didn’t even bother watching till the end. The pick me’s annoyed me so much, that I switched off half way and came to the comments. Glad I did because there are a lot of enlightened women in the comments.
I m so glad that I am not a pickme. I rather be single my ENTIRE life then to deal with lowering my own expectations.
Seriously
Thank you I was watching thinking I was losing my mind.
We shouldn’t be telling women to shrink themselves to be more palatable to men. If someone can’t handle you the way you are they could never satisfy you in the first place. I encourage other women to make themselves the priority. Being dominant and standing on your values is key!
This is so true. I had a guy I met in law school who pursued me for a while (or acted like he liked me) eventually told me that he no longer wants to date me because I’m not a traditional woman and I’m too ambitious. Mind you we’re both attorneys and he knew I would become an attorney when he met me because WE WERE BOTH IN LAW SCHOOL WHEN WE MET. We would’ve likely never met otherwise. Nonetheless, it showed me how insecure some men really are. Even the ones who are comparably successful to you don’t want a beautiful and accomplished woman. They want a doormat. He told me he wants to marry a woman who wants to serve her husband, not one with their own ambitions. You can’t make this stuff up😂
In short he wants a woman he can easily control and abuse through financial dependency girl you won you don't have to deal with the mess...idc...
@@mskabue it took me a while to realize that and it was painful to admit but yeah he wanted to financially abuse me and will likely financially abuse the woman he ends up with. This experience revealed to me the truly narcissistic and predatory nature of men. After this experience I joined the 4b movement. I would rather be alone than abused
Another twisted mommy care guy. 😆 I'm glad that you are not caving in to these babyish guy's demands. This fella you were dealing with is certainly not Barack Obama, who fell in love with his law student sweetheart Michelle. Girl, you need a man, not a big baby.
@@JajaApples let me tell you Sis you'd rather be alone than be in a relationship with a man who will give you trauma to heal from for years....ladies better be by yourself than with the wrong man...saves you a whole lot of BS....tbh
From a mans perspective, it sounds like you were masculine and he lost attraction. If he dated you initially he liked you but along the way something about you turned him off. Accomplished women can be very masculine.
I went to an Ivy League school, and the “highest” level of education these guys were wanting to marry was a teacher; but most were dating nannies at the time. This was the late 90s. I never had even one date in college. From what I saw, the men wanted women who were 100% focused upon him, and in fact, after I got married, my ex husband used to repeatedly yell at me about not completely giving up my entire life for him. Even when I was a SAHW just cooking, cleaning, investing, etc., he got very mad at me for going out to church or opera rehearsals once or twice per week. I’d be at home alone for days at a time, he’d never speak to me when he was home unless it was to say something mean, but then he’d resent if I did anything that didn’t involve him. P.S. I was told this advice about “being more feminine” and confiding in people back in 1995 when I was a freshman in college by our sports psychologist. He said that the other girls on the volleyball team and the men I encountered were jealous of me because I make it look so easy (playing two D1 sports and being a Chem major). But that advice didn’t work. It actually made me look weak to my haters and made them uh-tack me even more. So be forewarned. That advice to pretend to be weak will not work.
Same here. They hate you because you make it look easy. But would beat you down like a dog if you showed your ‘feminine’ side.
You were more woman than he deserved! I will not shrink myself for a man 👨🏻
Well said. Women….please stop hiding your light under a bushel, and stop diminishing your light simply to be “some foolish man’s wife”… said Lauryn Hill in “Ex Factor”.
My last bf told me he didn’t want to date a woman that made more money than him. Strange how they can’t compromise on that, at all.😂😂
They don't want a woman who makes more money than them. . .but they also don't want a "gold digger". Just like they want a woman who has a low body count but who can also do all the sex tricks that they've been watching women do on p0rnhub for the last decade 😑 Man the juice ain't even worth the squeeze with these XY's. . .
They don't want you to make more money yet also want you to not expect and ask them to spend too much money on you, and then complain you don't do enough with how much money and resources he spends on you and gives you
You can never win with men so why bother?
I give up. I’m over the gymnastics and aerobics. I like money more than men lol
Same😂😂
I like autonomy and myself more than men. If I want to buy the same dress, shoes or bag in two different colours, then so be it! I’m not hiding my purchases in the loft for months before I use them, through fear of a man giving me headache in spending the money I’ve earned…..not a chance!
I think these opinions really uphold gender roles and a patriarchal agenda. Simply telling women to be more feminine isn’t it. There needs to be more messaging directed towards men lowering their egos and being more emotionally intelligent. Why do women always have to absorb and make up for the shortcomings of men? So we basically have to dim our light and downplay our success to make them more comfortable. Please…🙄
Right?! This annoys me.
They are also harmful, men do not treat supposedly vulnerable and dependent woman any better, they financially abuse and neglect those women . Don't listen to this rubbish. Work toward being the best version you can be financially, academically , emotionally, physically. Live a whole life, a life you can be proud of.
@@henryford752 The issue is most men are harmful towards women period. If the woman is more successful they are jealous and won’t treat her well. But if she is financially dependent on him they see her as a gold digger and also don’t treat her well. The issue is with men and how most of them view and treat women as accessories/objects to add to the man’s own life, rather than an equal partner who he is willing to also uplift and support. Men want women to serve THEM and uplift THEM only, and don’t want to be the ones to do the same for the woman. They view women as tools to improve their own life and image, not as human beings. From what I have seen firsthand in real life and online, the only women who can make it work with men are those who are ok with the “serving” role, where they put their own dreams and ambitions on the backburner and put the man first. Only then is the man happy to be a husband for her - it’s because he gets to use her. Women who don’t wish to take on that role and who have their own goals to pursue will find it difficult to find a man who is understanding and accepting of her in a relationship. Men always want to be the ones on top in a relationship, due to fragile egos and societal programming since birth that tells men they are entitled to women’s free labour and support, and that men are somehow superior to women (and therefore their dreams and career are more important compared to the woman’s)
I advise women to be feminine & that doesn't mean dimming her light or being a dormat. I'm so tired of the gender war & enmity. Can't you see the devil is behind this? I know alot of successful, accomplished happily married women. Plenty. Their husband's aren't threatened. Read Ephesians 6:12. Spiritual warfare from Satan is attacking relationships and more.
@@lightinthedusk As sad as this is, I completely agree, but would just add that women who are more financially and emotionally secure, can speak up for themselves etc are in a better position to leave situations that threaten their wellbeing.
Some single/successful women, especially those who are child-free and/or have never been married, yea SOME NEVER want to get married and NEVER want to do ANYTHING to impress a male. Yea - that part.
@@A1SoniaM what are men doing to impress women? The days of women impressing men are over. If I have to act incompetent to attract a man, Im not interested. Successful women would much prefer the peace of solitude than dealing with the insecurities of Ill informed men. A lot of men have monetary wealth but are spiritually and emotionally bankrupt and that’s why successful women don’t want them. Please go find a dependent, I implore you.
Men should impress women.....that's a man's role to be impressive
@@MrPeterISABELLA ..THAT'S BESIDES MY POINT. What is 'supposed to be' and 'what is' are TWO COMPELETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.
@@A1SoniaM no your entire comment is bipolar.
Men are meant to impress women.
@@MrPeterISABELLA ...and you're missing half your brain cells because I SAID....what is 'supposed to be' and 'what is' are TWO COMPELETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.
The girl @6:00 I don’t think she realizes that these women HAVE to be that way, exp. If you live alone or go places alone men will literally look for any sign of vulnerability to take advantage or harm them we have no choice…
I understand where Miss wife in training is coming from but all women don’t want to be a wife,. Why is it so hard to understand that some women want to live their best life single just as well as some men. Its OK for men to do it, but not a women?
Look...it just looks like ill be a single woman for the rest of my life. Lol. These instructions on how to be more "feminine" are just insulting AF.
I'm just not in the mood to deal with a man's ego or complex about me being who i am at my core. I dont want kids. I don't want a husband. I DO want all the dogs, though lol.
Yes!! I have 2 dogs and they’re lovely!!!
19:53…
I am a Happily Single Woman, Not a wife in training. Don’t tell me who I am B…..
Exactly!!! The pickme energy was on full blast in that post.
@@cooladultkidontheblock1882: Sure was!!!
Funny how they never say husband-in-training
@@Llilac2481: Exactly!!! 🎯🎯🎯
Damn right!!!!
All facts 💯 ladies stay safe.❤
10:25 🎯🎯. Independent doesn’t equate to masculine. And no matter the job a woman has, if a man wants to be needed, and pay your bills he can! Dating comes down to people’s insecurities. That is all.
Yes!!!! ❤ this is so accurate.
The problem about "feminine energy" is that I'm autistic. I can only mask so much! I need to find an autistic dude who doesn't care about that. Or else, be single...
Lmao pass entirely.
Even if I wasn’t bisexual men just ain’t it. Would be single instead.
Strong divine feminine women should only seek lovers, and multiple men, not monogamy. These men arent enough for just 1 to match all your needs. 2 or 3 are. Im going to sit down with ANOTHER 38 year old and tell him what i need to get married or have a kid. Its brutal (250k for another child).
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I say this as an independent, financially solvent, educated, professional, 60 year old woman, who retired at 56, with three adult children.
I’ve said for the longest time that two or three boyfriends are required.
1 to party with and have a good time if required, 1 to go to the theatre and stimulating conversation at dinner, and 1 to discuss your working day particularly if it’s been stressful. Most of them really don’t fit the mould.
23:00 LMAO ... I'm like that ... if it seems too good to be true ... I have a problem when there's too many green flags
Because it usually IS too good to be true…it’s usually love bombing at work.
Because it usually is too good to be true. It’s love bombing.
Its lonely at the top
It is‼️💯
But it's worse at the bottom.
@@laurenmassey5338it’s worse in an unequally yoked, miserable marriage with a man who doesn’t value or appreciate you. Add poverty to that and you’re f******.
Yes yes yes!!! Wait for your match!!!
Okay, tough love time, I mean no disrespect to anyone. But this conversation needs to be put to rest already. Number one because we as women live in a patriarchal society. We have gone beyond the norm when it comes to jobs and opportunities.
If you rise to the top, your options are to be single and be okay with that, if you date just date because he is not checking for you like that, or stop advancing, settle for less then your worth and get married have the family, and maybe you will stay married or you will be a statistic, broke, and with more mouths to feed, on your new very low income. Alone, body issues because of the pregnancies, and seriously unhappy 🙁, choose and lets all turn the chapter on this, please.
And remember that the husband will cheat anyways I dont see any benefit from them. Maybe money
I guess I'll just be single because i refuse to stop advancing for man's ego. Also the idea of birthing my own children creeps me out.
@@nessinay1535 I second all of this!☝🏾
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾well said. I have nothing more to add!
This is some bullcrap. A man that does not want or is put off by an ambitious, smart, attractive woman is usually highly selfish. He wants to control every penny that comes in and out of that household. Then when he uses you up he will move to a new victim. These podcasters are out here looking for CashApps, etc. Full of crap.
I didn’t even bother watching till the end. The pick me’s annoyed me so much, that I switched off half way and came to the comments. Glad I did because there are a lot of enlightened women in the comments.
@ pitiful
@8:55 she must not have read the gift of fear
8:15 - Just NO.
19:22 I do not like this lady not everyone wants to be with someone
Women are the leaders
Yes yes and yes! smh