Dear People Pleasers, this is for us...

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  • Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
  • Makeup & Therapy: My therapist said being nice doesn't serve you when it's at your own expense. So, I'm practicing not always being nice.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 320

  • @tdavis2226
    @tdavis2226 24 дні тому +193

    Melissa said “SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!” In the sweetest way possible and I’m here for it. Talking about she doing too much, I’m sure you will CONTINUE to watch every single video she puts out.

    • @user-ry8mf8ti4m
      @user-ry8mf8ti4m 23 дні тому +4

      She learnt that from our Auntie Tab bc I was yelling mind yo business hell it ain't yo wedding so I agree with u

    • @ldkea05
      @ldkea05 23 дні тому +1

      Basically 😅lol !!!! Here for it too lol

    • @Dangerous8_2
      @Dangerous8_2 23 дні тому

      ​@ldkea05 me too i love it when folks tell others how they feel

    • @fromlissawithlove
      @fromlissawithlove 21 день тому +1

      Okay???? Because THIS Melissa typing, could not. The ram in me won’t allow it 🐏 😂

    • @nicholebryant7359
      @nicholebryant7359 21 день тому +2

      When the invoices come to yo house!!!!

  • @ladytee430
    @ladytee430 23 дні тому +102

    “GIRL SHUT UP BECAUSE WHO ASKED YOU!!!!” Just like that, Liss!!! You don’t owe us any explanation!!! PERIOD!!!

  • @MrBj354
    @MrBj354 24 дні тому +165

    Reminder: This is what self-love looks like. ❤

  • @thechoosychosen
    @thechoosychosen 24 дні тому +271

    The ease in to the 'shut up talking to me' deserves a standing ovation. This post was so necessary.❤❤

  • @moca1992
    @moca1992 23 дні тому +98

    The fact that you get to have your dad walk you down the isle 20 years later is phenomenal and that says GOD is GOOD All the time. Let'em know Lis, I love err thang you said! 🌺🌺

  • @feebaby88
    @feebaby88 24 дні тому +184

    Over explaining is a trauma response called fawning, look it up.

    • @nonyab916
      @nonyab916 23 дні тому +28

      100%! And people spend all that time over explaining as if it will make the person understand or agree only for the other person to walk away with the same opinion they had to begin with.

    • @jr2089
      @jr2089 23 дні тому +6

      ​@@nonyab916
      YES!!!!! So true!!!

    • @amalik_333
      @amalik_333 23 дні тому +19

      Chile whattttt??? I never knew this. I definitely over explain. I just learned something new about myself.

    • @1SweetQ
      @1SweetQ 23 дні тому +6

      Say more please...

    • @kerilynnae5551
      @kerilynnae5551 23 дні тому +18

      Yes! I'm 40 and just realized this. I have a friend whose been married to a narc for 20yrs. We reconnected last year, and I noticed the over explaining. After a couple months, it was like a light bulb went off. I said to myself "this is a trauma response." I used to do the same thing. In my early 30's, I realized I don't owe ppl an explanation for every little thing.

  • @jasmynerobinson3233
    @jasmynerobinson3233 24 дні тому +110

    Mrs. Melissa MF Fredericks!!!!!! I love EVERYTHING about this for you. Tell her again sis!! "When the doing too much bills come to YOUR house". THAT. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤❤❤

    • @ajohh
      @ajohh 23 дні тому +2

      ...and YOU pay them😂😂😂

  • @simonel2540
    @simonel2540 24 дні тому +159

    I love everything about this video as I’m a recovering people pleaser. Stand on business!!!! 🦋🦋🦋

  • @mssmia04
    @mssmia04 24 дні тому +62

    IT'S THE ENDING FOR ME!❤❤❤ I'm still in recovery from ppl pleasing. I may backslide every now and again, but I'm trying😢

  • @dyoung2739
    @dyoung2739 23 дні тому +29

    I heard “mind your business”❤️😂👏🏾. For your father to still be here 20 years later to walk you down the aisle is a true blessing❤️. Since 2004 all of my parents(mom,dad & stepdad)have transitioned💔😭🙏🏽🕊️.

  • @chandreabradford4105
    @chandreabradford4105 24 дні тому +66

    YESSSSSS LISS!!!!! I encourage people to ALWAYS have a little bit of “fuck it” in their spirit! It really helps with anxiety and your overall mental health!

  • @kendriahall5983
    @kendriahall5983 21 день тому +9

    Being nice at your expense is detrimental to your growth.

  • @jr2089
    @jr2089 24 дні тому +30

    ENOUGH SAID!!!!! 🎤 🗣 Way to go, Liss! You gave her waaaaay too much info with the explanation at the beginning. People never cease to amaze me with their insensitive, unwanted, and unsolicited opinions! Man!!!! If you don't like the content of an influencer's video or if what they're saying or doing is triggering or aggravating you...... unsubscribe, swipe, or simply keep scrolling. Negativity AIN'T necessary!! 🙄🤨

  • @rebekahmachelski2252
    @rebekahmachelski2252 23 дні тому +22

    I know that’s right!!! Whewww, that was a weight off all our chests. Shut up talking to her! 🙌🏽

  • @mommamia9948
    @mommamia9948 20 днів тому +5

    I am a recovering people pleaser and it feels good to stand up for me. Even if it causes me to be disliked. So be it
    You look beautiful!!!

  • @natural0ne
    @natural0ne 24 дні тому +27

    It's giving "Flawless Response & Flawless Makeover "!!! Both were PRICELESS! ❤ IT LIS!

  • @yungd1
    @yungd1 24 дні тому +20

    You didn't and don't owe us a damn thing Liss! You deserve everything you've worked and asked for! Real ones gon rock with and laugh with ya. Others can just stay ova there in their own lil pits of dispare. We happy and celebrating ova here!

  • @TabancaQueen
    @TabancaQueen 24 дні тому +25

    Melissa said- Stop playing on my top! As someone who is a known people pleaser and has also seen Mrs.Kevonstage come into her own, this warmed my heart endlessly. My therapy sessions only make me sad and more frustrated, this was my sign that i need a new therapist. Thank you for being "That girl" in the best way possible for us all. Beautiful, caring, funny and knows herself. And she has abs?! Y'all, that boy Kev done won the lottery.

  • @klomax7089
    @klomax7089 22 дні тому +6

    “Shut up Talkin to me.”… the t-shirt 👍🏾

  • @chasefire232
    @chasefire232 23 дні тому +6

    You dont have to explain yourself because some people are just jealous, miserable and will still judge your intentions.
    It's YOUR wedding, enjoy your special day❤❤❤❤ Congrats

  • @BeeStokesStyling
    @BeeStokesStyling 24 дні тому +12

    I love this energy from liss. Stop being nice at the expense of yourself

    • @nicholebryant7359
      @nicholebryant7359 21 день тому +2

      Just stepped into this space at work and they are clutching their pearls lol. I said I'm done dressing up my words making it pretty and putting a bow on it. We gonna have to agree to disagree because in this realm I am the expert....they just walked away ( and tried to "tell" on me) lol

  • @mzlove4121
    @mzlove4121 24 дні тому +30

    👏🏾 I LOVE every MILlISECOND of THIS!! Baby LIVE! I'm so HAPPY for y'all! CONGRATULATIONS!! ❤

  • @ajordan1847
    @ajordan1847 23 дні тому +5

    The "invoice statement" spoke magnitudes for me. ❤ I, on a personal note, needed this reminder. As a people pleaser, I say thank you. ❤ That statement alone was freeing.

  • @nc3919
    @nc3919 24 дні тому +18

    Omg I needed this: I have tried to explain this to my closest friends but never had the language. It’s the over explaining. I am a people pleaser too. I’ve been in situations where someone close to me will have an opinion and in an effort to try and get their approval I will over explain my reasons to the 10th power, meanwhile I feel like crap doing because I also feel like I shouldn’t have to explain myself. It feels like I’m defending myself and I shouldn’t have to defend myself with friends. Idk if that makes sense but totally get what you’re saying.
    Do you girl! We support you! Also I feel like we’re kindred spirits cuz I have that same Whitney t-shirt! Can’t wait to see the renewal pics!!!

  • @Passion84GodAlways
    @Passion84GodAlways 24 дні тому +24

    🗣️AWW SOOKIE SOOKIE NOW LISS!!! 🦋
    LET 👏🏾 'EM 👏🏾 KNOW 👏🏾 QUEEN!!! 👸🏾
    #ShutUpTalkinToMe!!!

  • @LIvey-fv8ct
    @LIvey-fv8ct 24 дні тому +15

    Go Liss!! My first thought was you are people pleasing by even explaining but you already had it covered. Love your life and answer to Jesus alone.

  • @tygeranderson1667
    @tygeranderson1667 24 дні тому +12

    💯💯💯💯. I love it. F@&k around and find out Melissa style.

  • @damedoscondos
    @damedoscondos 21 день тому +2

    Sometimes the concept of "everyone's opinion is valuable" falls on the ears of the wrong people🙄20 years is a long time to wait to have such a beautiful element added to your nuptials. May you joyfully do all the things Mrs. Fredericks, do it up! This is the vow renewal of you and your husband, no one else!!!!

  • @jasminegipson1242
    @jasminegipson1242 23 дні тому +5

    The way I was like…wait why are we explaining 😂😂😂 and then the second half came and I felt so proud

  • @nporter6378
    @nporter6378 24 дні тому +7

    Yasssss Mrs. Kev on Stage!!! That felt a lot like gin not juice…I am absolutely here for it.😜🙃😂

  • @pamk1967
    @pamk1967 24 дні тому +6

    Stand on YO Buziness, Liss!!!!❤ 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Hephbeu
    @Hephbeu 24 дні тому +7

    It’s always best to be true to yourself first. It’s not going to sit well with everyone and it’s not always easy. BUT having peace of mind and just peace in general is priceless

  • @simplyxrana
    @simplyxrana 24 дні тому +5

    Whoever said that, may God soften your heart! Melissa I pray that you and Kevin have the vow renewal of your dreams!!! ❤

  • @danelabutler3720
    @danelabutler3720 14 днів тому +2

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 With that being said, the doors of the church are open!

  • @Makumbi
    @Makumbi 24 дні тому +3

    You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
    It is YOUR event.

    • @nonyab916
      @nonyab916 23 дні тому

      Right! The only response to ol girl saying they’re doing the most is yes they are and? No need to explain why

  • @Klgray7373
    @Klgray7373 23 дні тому +4

    They way I hollered in laughter of applause at the end of this video, I hit replay to give me time to make a comment 😂❤😂❤😂❤

  • @AngelasTravelAdventures
    @AngelasTravelAdventures 20 днів тому +2

    Love it!! Girl the internet has lost their mind thinking you owe an explanation for the decisions you make for YOUR life!! People really need to get a grip and get a life, respectfully. 😅

  • @niesharoary6952
    @niesharoary6952 24 дні тому +5

    Yes sis! Say it loud for those of us who be tew nice to say what we feel.

  • @shalethao
    @shalethao 24 дні тому +6

    I needed to hear this! I too, am a people pleaser. Learning not to be. Thank you for this message.

  • @tarabeverly3680
    @tarabeverly3680 20 днів тому +3

    Shout out to your father and your husband's father for their service ❤

  • @PiperZeus
    @PiperZeus 23 дні тому +3

    I love this!!!!! I'm still not at a place where I feel comfortable expressing myself to others so directly. So to hear that you're also a recovering people pleaser, this gives me hope that one day I'll be able to express this exact sentiment. From the bottom of my heart, you go girl!

  • @_promisestonikki
    @_promisestonikki 24 дні тому +4

    …. And imma hold your hand while I say it! I love this for you! This is art

  • @Floridahomematchmaker
    @Floridahomematchmaker 24 дні тому +4

    Well drop the mic 🎤..”Shut up talking to me” & Happy Sunday🥴😂😂😂😂

  • @ElledotOh
    @ElledotOh 21 день тому +2

    Everything in this video!!!! I'm baffled at someone being annoyed at you celebrating your love, how you want, after 20yrs of marriage. **stares in confusion** I hope you enjoy aallll the parts of your vow renewal.

  • @tyshuga
    @tyshuga 23 дні тому +3

    Thanks for sharing this. The way I am crying real tears. Not laughing but crying for REAL because I do this so often because I am a people pleaser to the point where I often leave places not feeling heard at all. Looks like I need to add a little audacity to my purse.

  • @SweettoothMarie77
    @SweettoothMarie77 23 дні тому +2

    A red flag for me is when people wamyt me to expalim why i want what i want! I always start there and know im dealing with a wrong person

  • @lynelljones2375
    @lynelljones2375 19 днів тому +1

    Thaaaaaaaaat’s absolutely correct! Her day, her way! If ya card ain’t swiping, go sat down over there and 🤫

  • @Sadimama
    @Sadimama 23 дні тому +2

    Yessss Liss! I'm here for every single moment of you stepping into your full power!! Let 'em know!! As a recovering people pleaser I approve of this message! Forever Fredericks!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @wonderwoman7926
    @wonderwoman7926 24 дні тому +4

    🥰 I love it! Good for you. You helped me too.

  • @daniellemoxey9940
    @daniellemoxey9940 24 дні тому +3

    Liss we stan❤👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾TALK👏🏾YOUR👏🏾TALK👏🏾...And whoeva don't like it can see themselves out

  • @scorpiocara6798
    @scorpiocara6798 24 дні тому +2

    Its not too much its a blessing yall been married 20 years n on top of that yall been together even longer yall been together since high school

  • @CreativeMedicine7
    @CreativeMedicine7 19 днів тому

    Listeeeeeennn!!!! My husband is active duty military. People have no idea how important moments are when they are missed.. and whoever Shut up talking to her! Yessssssss and stand on it. 🎉

  • @kayd7485
    @kayd7485 24 дні тому +2

    Reformed people pleaser here, and YES! I’m not explaining NUFFIN anymore. My face, tone, and words all match now. I’ll be “difficult” and stand up for myself. And ps, AINT NOBODY ASK YOU (random commenter that sparked this video) so HUSH! 😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Nia_X.
    @Nia_X. 20 днів тому +2

    That was the the politest checkmate. I love it! Congratulations on 20 years and I hope your vow renewal is everything YOU want! ❤ 💍🥂🍾

  • @JMann2307
    @JMann2307 20 днів тому

    Amen Saints!! Somebody pass the offering plate, then let’s stand for the benediction. -Go Melissa!!!

  • @topazspivey823
    @topazspivey823 24 дні тому +3

    Well said and good for you for learning not to be a people pleaser👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @momof3booker213
    @momof3booker213 23 дні тому +2

    Go right on ahead Mrs Melissa!!! I am here for all of it!!
    It’s nobody’s business how you want to spend your money and make your memories, you just released yourself from the opinions of others that are not worth any space in your mind they don’t deserve your peace
    Keep shining!!

  • @imaaple2
    @imaaple2 13 днів тому

    lol I like that “Shut up talking to me”. I’ve been a people pleasure too to the point where people took advantage of it😭 and now I’m paying for it greatly

  • @dlc09uva
    @dlc09uva 20 днів тому +1

    whew! needed this! ppl are so miserable that they cant fathom doing exactly what they want when they want to so they wonder where you got the audacity. Enjoy your wedding renewal! 😊🎉❤

  • @JamilahHarris-ko3zj
    @JamilahHarris-ko3zj 24 дні тому +3

    Lmao. That cracked me up! I felt that!

  • @larondajackson5160
    @larondajackson5160 24 дні тому +3

    🤣🤣👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 yuhhhh!! I love a good healing read 😌

  • @yamilturner8185
    @yamilturner8185 24 дні тому +2

    Period “girl shut up” 🤣🤣😭 this is about me

  • @artlover625
    @artlover625 20 днів тому +1

    LOVED THIS SO MUCH. I used to over explain with people in my life that I thought were a little fragile or slow. I thought their reckless comments were a symptom of them not being at full capacity so I overexplained as a way to say something about the comments without saying the honest thing that has some bite to it. But some folk need the bite, they speak recklessly and a reckless response makes sense.

  • @mslovely3484
    @mslovely3484 24 дні тому +2

    "Living Life For Me." I'm important too.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @ALynnea-vf5bg
    @ALynnea-vf5bg 21 день тому +3

    I thought it was understood that you can do too much for your wedding… if not then, when? 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @kayc3129
    @kayc3129 21 день тому

    Thank you! I had to learn too that “Shut up “ goes a long way and NO is a complete sentence. God bless you!

  • @tnone7397
    @tnone7397 24 дні тому +3

    Miss Melissa, please do pay attention to the negative comments in the comments situation. People are often missirable and are looking to have company in this feeling. ENJOY your renewal of vowels weddings ceremony, and have it exactly how you want. I enjoy yalls content. THANKyou

  • @godivabaker6622
    @godivabaker6622 23 дні тому +2

    Man. I struggle with this too!

  • @kingdompursuit3472
    @kingdompursuit3472 23 дні тому +2

    I love this Liss! I’m a recovering people pleaser!! I’m so feeling this! ❤❤❤❤

  • @bessythompson1472
    @bessythompson1472 23 дні тому +1

    when i say, i had to rewatch it again… TELL EM LISS!!

  • @lasic23661
    @lasic23661 21 день тому +1

    Chillllll yessss. I love all the energy. Some people just aren't happy. So when they see genuine happiness, for them, it feels too much but for those who are happy we join in celebrate and toast. Girllll even if your daddy did walk you down the isle the 1st time and Kevin's dad was there ma'am you have been married to the same man for 2 DECADES in the book of marriage chapter 1 verse 15 it says "thou shalt do the most with thou husband with him thou has been married to for a long periodical time" Amen 🙏

  • @rosscotxla
    @rosscotxla 23 дні тому +1

    Well said and glad you said it. People pleasin is a heavy weight to carry. Good on you!

  • @thatsvickiIRL
    @thatsvickiIRL 23 дні тому +1

    She said what she said ! I am learning too, thank you for this !

  • @hollyclarke19206
    @hollyclarke19206 24 дні тому +2

    Yesssssss!!! Say and Do what you want, no explanation required! There's nothing they can do to, with, for, or about You!! I love this Melissa Energy!!!

  • @tamararodriguez4413
    @tamararodriguez4413 23 дні тому +1

    Her Life... Her Page... Her Vow Renewal... she gonna Do All the Things... I'm Sooooo Here for It... SHUT UUUUUUUPPPPPPP... 👏🏽

  • @lashundagladney5434
    @lashundagladney5434 23 дні тому +2

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. 🤜🏾🤛🏾 I’m learning this myself and it is so freeing.

  • @amalik_333
    @amalik_333 23 дні тому +2

    I watched this video at least 20 times. You go Melissa👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @shadymccoy7
    @shadymccoy7 19 днів тому

    I FEEL ya Melissa!!! "Did you put in on this, NO, so your commentary is not needed Periodt!!!"

  • @KA-xs7vl
    @KA-xs7vl 24 дні тому +1

    I’m so sorry, @MrsKevOnStage. I can’t imagine going through one of the most important days of my life without both dads. I hope this ceremony is everything you dream!

  • @kiki_the_creator
    @kiki_the_creator 22 дні тому +2

    This video just got a save to my motivation/affirmation/self-love playlist. I love this 💕

  • @Channyb89
    @Channyb89 24 дні тому +2

    I love this version of Melissa ❤😂

  • @charisnajorelus9745
    @charisnajorelus9745 23 дні тому +1

    If there was ever a time to spend a lot of money on anything, especially if you have it, I believe is on marriage, especially for a couple who have been faithful to their vows all these years, raised their children in the same home, gone through death of family members together, it is these two. I am here for celebrating love that have stood the test of time.

  • @Scripturenstyle
    @Scripturenstyle 24 дні тому +3

    YESSSSSSS GO LISSSS!!! That PART and drop the damn Mike!! ❤❤️❤️❤️

  • @MsMakeba
    @MsMakeba 24 дні тому +2

    📣📣📣 Shut up tawkin to huh!!!!! 🦋🦋🦋
    My favorite response to them: "You not doin enough!!!"

  • @alkalinemama
    @alkalinemama 18 днів тому

    For us, its learning to be selfish! Could’ve saved me so much heartache! I will be SO SELFISH going forward. ❤

  • @thesooffle7217
    @thesooffle7217 17 днів тому

    💫👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤜🏽No explanations needed lol, it’s your wedding renewal, your life, your expenses, Periodt❗️

  • @mswest87
    @mswest87 24 дні тому +2

    I love it! If it's too much for you, keep scrolling. We're celebrating Kev & Liss over here!

  • @jaz1elise
    @jaz1elise 6 днів тому

    Thanks for this, Melissa! I’m a people pleaser and working on setting healthy boundaries.

  • @kd568
    @kd568 21 день тому

    Melissa is doing her work, letting y’all know, and giving us gorgeous-ness in the process. All 10’s across the board!

  • @brooklampkin1535
    @brooklampkin1535 16 днів тому +1

    THANK YOU for saying & sharing this. I needed to hear this clearly so I can stop being so nice at the expense of my own happiness.❤

  • @jolietamichal
    @jolietamichal 23 дні тому +2

    Yes, ma'am!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Kayelle321
    @Kayelle321 22 дні тому +2

    My video response would have been: Ok.

  • @halehomeschool9964
    @halehomeschool9964 23 дні тому +1

    Girl you should’ve warned me almost woke the baby up crying laughing 😂

  • @kimberlyjohnson5296
    @kimberlyjohnson5296 18 днів тому

    As someone who is slowly releasing the need to be a people pleaser, I just want to say thank you for this post. That is it and that is all! You said what needed to be said and the only people you need to please are yourself, Kevin and God! Happy planning. You deserve all good things!

  • @OneMellMell
    @OneMellMell 23 дні тому +1

    P E R I O DDDDD!!!!! Ha! Love this for you Mrs Melissa Freadricks !!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @tmack_ep6503
    @tmack_ep6503 23 дні тому +1

    If this wasn't a great example of grow and glow, idk what is! Yass ma'am 🔥

  • @trishalachell
    @trishalachell 23 дні тому +1

    Ohhhh Lisss!! That felt good didn't it!! They're not writing not one check.

  • @lexijay4766
    @lexijay4766 23 дні тому +1

    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I love it! I'm the exact same way and thank you for posting this. I needed to hear it. There are a few folks I need to say shut up to, as well. I'm celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary next year. And while everyone was busy telling me what I should do, I booked a cruise! It feels good doesn't it?
    Please enjoy you day with Kev & your family. Don't worry or think about anything else. Live in the moment. ❤

  • @DivineDivaDee
    @DivineDivaDee 24 дні тому +9

    🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 Mother read 'em down! "When the invoice for "too much" shows up at your house, then I'll want your opinion!"

  • @kolvinlewis
    @kolvinlewis 24 дні тому +3

    Say that!